June 9, 2024 • 44 mins
Welcome to the 40’s! This new series starting at entry 40 gives us some time to unpack what the solo season is, why we may need to go into one, what happens while we are in this space and a multitude of things that can come along with it.
This entry is one of our blog breakdowns which means that you can find the written version of this entry at the link below.
https://bit.ly/43h5Ou4
This week’s journal prompt:
What is one thing that always holds you back? What if it didn’t?
For sponsorships and advertising please send an email to
blogqueenpodcast@gmail.com
Join me on IG Instagram.com/thoughts_of_a_blogqueen
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/thoughts-of-a-blog-queen--2822332/support.
This entry is one of our blog breakdowns which means that you can find the written version of this entry at the link below.
https://bit.ly/43h5Ou4
This week’s journal prompt:
What is one thing that always holds you back? What if it didn’t?
For sponsorships and advertising please send an email to
blogqueenpodcast@gmail.com
Join me on IG Instagram.com/thoughts_of_a_blogqueen
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/thoughts-of-a-blog-queen--2822332/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Let's do this. You're listening tothe Thoughts of a Blog Queen podcast with
your host, Love Renee, awoman. Hey, y'all, welcome to
(00:31):
Thoughts of the Black Queen Podcast.I am your host, the Rave Renee,
also known as blog Queen, andy'all know what time it is.
It's time for me to pour intoyou, and we're gonna do things a
little bit different. So welcome toWell. First of all, welcome to
Entry forty right. This is thestart of the solo series. So I
(00:51):
got a lot that I want tounpack in this series, a lot.
We're gonna talk about all aspects ofthe solo series. But before we get
into that, I still have topour into you. Y'all know how we
do this at the beginning of theepisode. But I'm gonna switch things up
while we're in the solo series.I am going to give you a dose
of self love. And so thisis actually a book that I've been kind
(01:15):
of going through and I like theway that it's set up. It just
gives you these just these different passageseach day, and so that's what I'm
gonna do. I'm gonna give youa dose of self love for each entry
that we get through the solo series. All right, So first up Entry
(01:38):
forty a dose of self love.But first love yourself because the love of
self is non negotiable. But thenlove yourself because the love of self requires
no apologies and comes with no contingencies. But also love yourself because the love
(02:02):
of self is laced in forgiveness anddipped in authenticity. All right, So
that is your dose of self love. And I love that because I feel
like it really just embodies kind oflike phases of self love. So if
(02:22):
you paid attention to it, itsays, but first love yourself, but
then love yourself, but also loveyourself. So it's kind of promoting that
self love no matter what right,no matter what happens, no matter what
phase of life you're in, nomatter what season you're in, always remember
to love yourself. It's non negotiable. So, you guys, let's go
(02:46):
ahead and get into this intrigue.I hope you guys are doing well.
Happy self care Sunday, y'all knowhow we're doing Sundays. We're taking time
to be intentional about the self carethat we put into ourselves. And this,
(03:08):
you guys, is actually gonna bea blog breakdown. So this is
probably gonna be a little bit quickerthan normal normal entries. I know,
you guys say I say, probablysay I say that all the time.
It's gonna be quicker. But thisis actually when I do a blog breakdown.
If you are not familiar, ablog breakdown means that there is an
actual written blog to pair with thisentry. So if you check out the
(03:30):
blog on the Sharon Pink Promo's website, there is a thoughts of a Blog
Queen blog column and there is ablog that pairs with this. And so
I'm pretty much going to be goingthrough this blog, reading this blog to
you, what kind of giving youa few ad libs along the ways you
can kind of just to kind ofdive deeper into, you know, kind
(03:52):
of where I was going with theblog. So the title of this blog
is going into her solo season,and this is part one. So I'm
gonna do five parts to this.Now. I don't know if there's gonna
be five parts to the written blog. I don't know if there's gonna be
five. I think there's probably gonnabe more than five entries on the podcast,
(04:15):
but there will be five parts tothis blog. So I'm gonna have
at least five blog breakdowns. AndI like the blog breakdowns because I feel
like, you know, some people, they still they they like to read,
and I'm a writer, so Istill like to write my blogs out.
But I feel like when I doa blog breakdown, I can kind
of give you more of my feelingand my emphasis and where you know,
just kind of you hear it comingfrom me versus just reading it. So
(04:39):
that's why I like to do ablog breakdown here and there. So,
yeah, going into her solo season, this is part one and this is
uh deeper than just your singleness.So when we're talking about a solo season,
there are going to be different waysthat people view a solo season,
(05:03):
right. A solo season can bewhatever you want it to be, really
whatever you need it to be,but it's gonna be a point in time
where you realize that you need sometime to yourself, to focus on yourself
because you need to try to youprobably need to like get some things in
line. So yeah, so let'sstart with the why why would any woman
(05:30):
need to go into her solo season? Well, there can be a number
of reasons as to why she should, but there will often be a strong
want to as well. Right,she's gonna wanna do it. It's gonna
be like, I need to dothis for myself, to take a specific
season for however long. That is, to discover things about yourself with the
(05:54):
intention to do this with very littleto no connection to others while doing so
is something that takes your self loveand your self care to another level.
So place an emphasis on that verylittle to no connection to others. Does
it mean that you completely just shutyourself off from the world and isolate yourself.
(06:17):
No, let's not confuse a soloseason with isolation. Isolation I feel
like is multidimensional, and I feellike that's probably a whole nother entry.
So I'm not gonna go too deepinto isolation. But that's not necessarily what
the solo season is. But Ifeel like, for us, when your
(06:41):
mental sys, when your mental levelhas reached its capacity right, meaning you
are feeling the effects of an overloadof emotions due to either the everyday responsibilities
that you have going on in yourlife, the things that you just have
to do that you have to prioritizein your life, or you're feeling that
(07:04):
the connections that you have in yourworld, they're not providing you with a
healthy balance of positive energy, right, That could be another reason it may
be time to go on your soloseason if either of these things are true,
and there are multiple reasons, honestly, but if either of those things
(07:25):
are true, I feel like thosetwo are very significant. And when we
move forward, we will go intothe signs. Actually, I think the
next entry, so make sure youtune in keep up with me on this
series, but the next entry,we'll talk about the signs of when you
might know that it's time to gointo your solo season. But yeah,
(07:46):
so for me, let's get alittle personal. For me, going into
my solo season felt necessary. Andif you follow me on social media and
go back, I'm gonna be reallyhonest with you. My solo season has
lasted for a couple of years.Actually, yeah, I've been in my
solo season for a couple of years, and it just felt like it was
(08:07):
the right time and the right thingto do for me. I had feelings
of pain, fear, stress,abandonment, loneliness, and an overwhelming feeling
of uncertainty, and all of thesethings played factors in my decision to move
(08:28):
into a solo season. I feltlike a solo season would be the remedy
for me. And I'm still inmy solo season. That's the thing.
Like, I'm still in it currently, and so I'm still occupying this space
(08:50):
in my life. And I canconfidently, one percent, without a doubt,
say that it has been one ofthe most insightful and challenging yet it
has been rewarding periods of my life, very insightful. When you go into
(09:13):
your solo season, you are areable to be very introspective, and you're
you are able to really hear yourself, among other things, hear how you
respond to things here, take alook back and really reflect on how you
responded to things. Uh, lookat things in hindsight. You're able to
just like really kind of like seelike, Okay, what space of mind
(09:39):
was I in when I made thisdecision or when I said these things,
or when I decided to do this, Like what space of mind was I
in? Because it may look differentwhen you're in your solo season. So
I can look back and there arethings that like I did a year ago,
and I don't see that I wouldeven and make those same decisions.
(10:01):
Where I'm at today, I justdon't see it. And that is not
only growth, but that's just likeI said, that's that introspection where you're
just kind of like when you're inthe moment of it, you don't necessarily
you don't necessarily I'm not gonna sayyou don't really realize what you're doing,
but sometimes you don't. But I'mjust saying that, like, when you're
(10:22):
in the moment, you make decisionson what you think is best for that
time. But then when you're outof that moment and then you go into
a period of your life, suchas your solo season, where you're able
to really take a look at thedecisions that you made and the choices that
you made and see things for whatthey are. You really just sometimes you
really gain you gain perspective, andit's kind of like, damn, Okay,
(10:46):
yeah I did that. So Iwant to define my definition of the
solo season a little bit more clearly. So the solo season is a period
in one's life where introspection of themselvestakes a priority over what has typically been
(11:07):
routine. All right, let mesay that again. The solo season is
a period in one's life where introspectionof themselves takes the priority over what has
typically been routine. It means thatyou are choosing to disconnect from the outside
factors of your day to day lifewithin all things reasonable, of course,
(11:31):
and you're just focusing on you.And when I say within all things reasonable,
I mean that, like you know, like I said, we're not
to confuse this with isolation. Goinginto your solo season isn't saying no,
I'm going to my room, I'mgonna lock my door and I'm not gonna
you know what I mean, I'mnot going to speak to anybody for the
next thirty days. No, becauseyou have to be reasonable about it.
Like obviously, I still work,we still grind, we still have things
(11:52):
that we do. If we're mothers, we still have children to take care
of, like you know what Imean. So going into your solo season
is more honestly, I would sayit is probably like seventy five percent mental
and twenty five percent physical because youdo have to I feel like, kind
of disconnect yourself physically from things.But it's more so mental than anything because
(12:18):
you really have to program your mindin that season to understand that you're about
to maneuver as though you are inyour solo season and so things are gonna
change. It's taking an authentic approachto self awareness and understanding that you always
have room and the capacity for moregrowth, right, because that's the goal.
(12:43):
That's what we're always trying to do. Work. We want to grow,
right can we can? We neverstop growing? I talked about that,
I think a little bit in thelast entry. It was like growth
is great, right, and it'sgreat to see how we've grown from one
point to the next. But likeI honestly feel like growth is something that
will continue to do, will continueto do it. It's not something that
(13:03):
really ever stops. So it couldconsist of healing from a trauma or a
failed relationship. It could be discipliningyourself in different ways, both physically and
mentally, so you just might startchanging some things. And I'm going to
talk about that a little bit moretoo. But it could be putting a
(13:28):
magnifying glass over your evolution in lifethus far, meaning how far you've come,
and understanding the significance of the changesthrough it. So the evolution of
you from your twenties to your thirties, to your forties to your fifties to
wherever you are, your teens toyour twenties, if you're in your late
twenties, if you're in your earlythirties, if you're in your early forties,
(13:50):
if you just hit forty, whereveryou are, the evolution of you
and understanding the significance of the changesthat you've made through there and hopefully you
have progressively, like made positive changes. We want to always go forward.
We don't really want to make toomany steps back and taking the steps back,
(14:15):
they're not gonna be like going backwards. We're gonna make mistakes, we're
gonna fall short, We're gonna dothings we're like, ah, probably shouldn't
have did that, but I didit anyway, or I know better than
this, But you know what,like temptation is of it. So I
make this decision and I gotta livewith it, and now I need to
reflect on why I did it,you know what I mean. So,
like I'm just saying that, likewe make the decisions, and we're just
(14:35):
trying to really put a scope onwhy we made certain decisions. But it
could also be attempting to understand someof the wrongs and giving yourself the grace
to forgive yourself for each of thosemistakes. So, like I said,
when you make those mistakes and you'rejust kind of like, yeah, I
knew better, I really knew better. And they say, if you knew
(14:58):
better, you do sometimes you knowwhat, you know, we're human.
We make some decisions sometimes and they'renot always necessarily the right pick, because
that's what human beings do. Butit is with hopes that you're learning from
these decisions that you're making and thesethings that you classify as mistakes, because
sometimes things may not always be amistake. And that's a mindset thing right
(15:26):
there, to learn how to lookat certain things as maybe not necessarily a
mistake, but maybe like a detour, if you will. Or like I
said, when we talked about failurein the last entry or the last couple
of entries, we talked about howfailure can be looked at as just you
collecting data. So it's kind oflike if we can look at the mistakes
(15:48):
that we make, because I thinkthat will help us to give us the
grace that we need and so we'renot always just down on ourselves and like
just feeling terrible, because that's somethingthat we tend to do we tend to
like make the wrong choices or makemistakes, and then we're really hard on
ourselves. We really feel we feelbad. Like I know, for me,
sometimes I'll do something or I'll likeI've made a decision, and I'm
just kind of like, oh gosh, why did I do that? Like
(16:11):
why did I do that in themoment, you know what I mean?
And then I have to realize,Okay, you did this because of this
right here, this is why youdid this, because this is what you
desire, this is what you're feelingyou lack, or this is what you've
always wanted, or this is somethingthat you've never done in your life,
and so you like, you knowwhat I mean, Like, there's always
a reason to why you make someof the choices that you make in that
(16:33):
moment. So the idea of itall is to reflect on that. So
giving yourself that grace what do wetalked about, that the space and the
grace to forgive yourself for those mistakes. Right, understand this about your solo
season. Your solo season is custommade. It's custom made. You have
(17:00):
to decide how to tailor fit itto what you need at this particular time
in your life. So will Isay, Okay, you know, I
don't feel like your solo season isgonna be all right. I'm giving myself
thirty days, but that like,maybe it is for you, Maybe it
is giving yourself thirty days from doyou know what I mean? It's custom.
(17:22):
You have to figure out what's gonnabe best for yourself. But I
would encourage you not to put atime limit on it, because I feel
like once you put a time limiton your solo season, then you're kind
of forcing yourself to have this greatperspective or this this big epiphany by the
end of thirty days, and thenif you don't, then what No,
(17:44):
So don't I really you know whatI mean? Like, I encourage you
not to necessarily put a time stampon how long your solo season is,
because listen, when I went intoit, could I have told you that
my solo season was gonna consist ofa couple of years. No, but
it has, And that's because I'mnot I'm not through with it yet.
I'm not through with my solo seasonyet. I'm still learning things, I'm
(18:10):
still feeling things, I'm still takingthe time to understand myself through things.
I'm still figuring a lot of thingsout in my solo season, so it's
it's just not over. And oneof the things that kind of inflicted my
I would say would be the catalystfor why I personally went into my solo
season was because number one, youknow, life at the time was life
(18:37):
in and I had to go throughthings with my living situation where I wasn't
even able to live in my ownhome. I had to get like a
major construction and you know, Ithink I've talked about that some some periods
of time during one of these entries, you know, I had to go
through that, and so I wasn'teven able to go to I mean,
I wasn't even able to live inmy house for about five months. I
(19:00):
wasn't able to live in my house. And that brought that life event brought
upon a huge massive amount of stresstowards me, very stressed. And because
of that stress, my reaction tothe stress was I was doing things that
(19:22):
were not good for me. Iwas overeating, I was lashing out,
I was choosing not to see thingsfor what they actually were. Like I
just like, it was just avery stressful time. And so it was
at that point when I realized,like, this is how you're handling,
Like I was drinking more just becauseyou know what I mean, And I'm
(19:45):
just being real authentic, Like itwas stressful, so and and you know,
I was in a relationship at thattime, but I had to deal
with a lot of what came alongwith that life event, you know what
I mean, Like I had tohandle that, and so because it was
(20:07):
my home, you know what Imean, So like I primarily I had
to handle a lot of those things, and I had to make a lot
of decisions. And just if you'veever dealt with insurance companies and construction companies
and contractors and all of those,it's a lot. It's stressful. I
don't wish that on anybody. Butso it was how I was reacting to
that life event that I realized thatmy management of stress was not the greatest
(20:30):
and that I needed to take sometime and be very introspective and be like
I was self Like for me,I've always been really good. I'm I'm
really good at being self aware.I'm really good at being self aware.
I feel like, and it mighttake me a minute, but I will.
I'm pretty good at being self awareabout something so I realized that I
(20:52):
just wasn't handled in that period ofmy life really well. Then I needed
to figure out better ways to handlemyself and get through things, because that
may not be the last time thatI have to deal with a life event
that is very stressful for me,and I need to be I need to
be better to myself. So thenso then when I started it, like
I you know, like I gotinto the gym, I was like,
(21:15):
I was really like focusing and Iwas really like trying to get a hold
on what I needed to do formyself. But it's just getting back to
you, and that's what I needed, right. So it's like I said,
it's taking a break from other connections, right, But not to be
confused with isolation. So let's staylet's let's unpack the isolation for a minute.
(21:42):
So when I say it's not tobe confused with isolation, I want
you to understand that it's not likeI said, it's not locking yourself away.
It's not just declining all calls.It's just limiting the connections you may
have been used to, like usedto yielding in and pouring so much of
yourself into and just pulling back fromthose attachments. But again, like I
(22:06):
said, you're the designer of theseason, So it's gonna look and it's
gonna feel the way you desire itto be. And your heart and your
mind are gonna guide you through this. They're gonna take you through They're gonna
let you know. So that's whyI said, like, I really don't
feel like you should put a timestamp on how long your solo season is,
but just go into it knowing thisis where I'm at right now.
(22:30):
They're gonna be You're gonna just decideto do things differently, and you may
need to be intentional about some ofthe things that you're doing in your life.
So that could change. That couldchange with how much you interact with
people in your life, with family, with friends. And when I said
when I when I put in thesubtitle that it's deeper than singleness, I
(22:55):
mean, you don't it doesn't necessarilymean that you have to be single,
because, like I said, Ifeel like a solo season is probably more,
it's greater, it's mentally greater thanit is physically. So just like
as an example, and we're gonnatouch on this a little bit more later
on into this series, but solotravel. Solo travel may be an element
(23:17):
of your solo season, and withthis could potentially come the curiosity of people
in your life as to why you'redoing this. Why are you solo traveling?
Why are you trying to take tripsin or why are you trying to
do things on your own? Whyare you trying to go place this on
your own? Well that's because that'swhat I felt like I needed to do.
So people are gonna be curious,Oh, why are you taking trips
(23:38):
by yourself? Why are you tryingto go? You know what I mean?
Like, why are you trying togo? Because like for me,
like I'm like, listen, I'mtrying to go to Puerto Rico, I'm
trying to go to Jamaic, LikeI'm trying to do these things and I'm
okay with doing by myself. Andyou know, just expressing this to certain
people that why you why are youtrying to go out of the country by
yourself or why? And I getit, cause you know, there's always
(23:59):
you have to their safety. SoI get that part of it too,
But you're still gonna choose to doit. I'm still gonna do it.
I'm still gonna do it, andI'm gonna do it because I feel comfortable
with that choice and I find itnecessary because going into your solo So when
you talk about your solo season andsolo travel, it may be necessary because
(24:22):
you may need to remove yourself fromthe environment that you're in. And you
may not be able to go andpick up and go and travel somewhere and
stay there for months at a time. No, but you may need to
remove yourself from the energy that you'reused to being. And so if you
can take a week away and gosomewhere just out of the energy of where
(24:44):
you've been, your home, yourwork, take that PTO time, y'all,
use it. You've earned it,use it. Use your PTO.
And even if you can't financially solotravel, do a staycation. Get out
of your house, go stay ina nice hotel, one of your favorite
(25:07):
hotels, or find a nice hotelon a different side of town you're downtown
or whatever. Get out of theenergy of your home and really really go
into hermit mode and think about somethings while you're in your solo season.
But solo travel, I feel likeis a big one and that's something that
(25:27):
I am definitely going to go intoand I am going to talk about that
a little further down into the series, and I am going to take a
solo trip and we'll talk about thata little bit more. But yeah,
that you know, when you dothis, it's a different environment and you're
(25:52):
gonna get excitement and satisfaction from it, and you're gonna look forward to it.
I'm really looking for to embarking onsolo travel and I'm doing a lot
of things now to try to helpme prepare for it. Financially, mentally,
I gotta work on this anxiety.But I gotta do it. It's
one of those things that I haveto do because I need it. And
(26:17):
like I said, people may questionyour solo season, and that's okay.
They may question it. They mayquestion why you're not answering the phone.
They may question why you're not comingout as much as you used to.
And you know what, you eitheroffer an explanation for it, or you
(26:37):
don't have to. That choice isyours. That's the beautiful thing about your
solo season. Like I said,your solo season is custom made. You
can offer very little explanation and understandingand clarity to people, or you can
really be authentic and really go intobreak it all down. This is what's
(27:00):
going on, and this is whatI need to do. Don't take it
personal, but I really, youknow, like I need some space away
from everything and everybody in my liferight now, including you, And that's
what I have to do for myself. Because see, the thing is the
attitude and mindset in this season isequivalent to respectfully not really caring what others
(27:25):
think about your choices. So evenif they, you know, people making
comments about why you don't call oryou haven't answered the phone or you haven't
come by, you know what Imean. Like it's like, yeah,
I get it, you know whatI mean. But honestly, like you
know, it's not that you don'tcare, but you kind of don't.
Because this is the time that youhave to be intentional about taking for yourself.
(27:55):
You're more focused on cause consistently doingwhat you think is best for you,
not what you think other people aregonna think is best or what other
people think you should be doing.No, it's what you think is best.
The explanation only has to make senseto you. Remember that and to
(28:19):
be clear though, even though it'smore common for a person going into their
solo season they're single, it's probablyI would say, it's probably more common.
It isn't necessarily about being single andnot dating, because, like I
said, when I started my soloseason, I was not single. I
(28:41):
was very much in a full onrelationship. But like I said, I
mentally had to decide that, like, Okay, I gotta go, I
gotta be a little bit more introspectiveabout some things. So I was in
a relationship when this started. Butit's not It's not about being single and
(29:02):
not dating or not having anyone inyour intimate life. It's deeper than that,
because honestly, even in relationships,at times, we can still be
faced with the inward feelings of whetheror not a relationship journey is something we
can continue to bar embark on,and we may even feel like we need
to acquire that quote unquote space fromthe relationship, as we might call it,
(29:27):
that space. I need a littlebit of space. Now, if
you're listen listening to that, ifyou're married, that it's different, it's
gonna so, like I said,it's gotta be different. So you just
have to figure out, Okay,if you're married, but you feel like
you need this solo season. How'sthat gonna look for you? And how
are you gonna communicate that to yourspouse that this is what you're gonna do,
(29:47):
because you wanna make sure that you'recommunicating that is something that you do
have to communicate out of respect fory your your marriage, and respect for
the emotions and the feelings of yourpartner. You do want to kind of
explain explain it, but explain itin a way that you're making them understand
(30:10):
what it is about and that it'snot about them. It's about me.
This isn't about me like trying togo leave the family for a week.
No, And like I said,your solo season may have to be a
bit more mental that it is physical. It just depends. It's different when
you're a single woman, you livealone, you're not dating anybody, and
(30:33):
you decide to go in your soloseason versus you're a woman who has a
lot of responsibilities. You have smallchildren, you are taking care of a
household, you're running a business,you have family issues going on. You
may have had some things you needto communicate with your partner. There may
be a little bit of stickiness ortension between you and your spouse, and
you may need to take some timeto figure out how you need to deliver
(30:56):
some of the things that you're feeling, so you may need to take a
solo season for that. Like Isaid, it's deeper than just being single.
So, like I said, mysolo season actually began where I was
in a v very like au.It was a long term relationship and at
that point I probably was already inmy relationship for a couple two to three
(31:18):
years. At the time when itstarted, I was very much in this
long term relationship which later would becomea part of my life that had to
come to an end. And itis because of this season that I was
in, this season of introspection,that I would discover this. Yeah,
(31:41):
I had to figure I had tomake some hard decisions. I had to
face some hard truths. I hadto really go inward, and I had
to really like step outside of myselffor a minute and look at things for
exactly what they were. And Ihad to face things that I wasn't ready
to face. But I had todo this, and I had to realize
(32:04):
what was not for me any longer. So again, there are a number
of reasons as to why one wouldchoose a solo season, and it is
with hopes that during this particular seasonyou will become crystal crystal clear as to
(32:25):
your why. Another thing that Ithink that we can kind of like dive
into is creative inspiration. I thinkthat's another honorable mention and benefit of going
into your solo season, and definitelywas for me because it's one of those
one of those elements that could cometo us in so many different ways and
(32:46):
forms that will allow us to expresswhat we may have been bottling up or
felt like we didn't have the timeor space to lean into. So to
actually make the time to explore yourpassions and bring them to life in a
season that is designed to cater toyour mental and emotional needs can be a
beautifully curated project and process along theway you when you go into a solo
(33:10):
season. If you are creative likemyself, I write, I blog,
I podcast, I create content,I do all things creative that some of
my best ideas and my best writingflow have come while I've been in my
solo season. I've gotten more motivated, I've been more intentional. I've just
(33:37):
been able to really like figure outwhat I creatively like the bigger picture,
and I've been able to really likeembrace that and really go in you know
what I mean, Like I've kindof defined a little bit more of the
(33:59):
things that I want to do.It's become it, it has become over
time a little bit more clear towhere I've been able to really kind of
like niche down into self care,whereas that wasn't necessarily where my mind was
creatively a year ago. And theideas that I finally have like figured out
(34:25):
that I wanted to do with asfar as like all of these writing projects
and things like I finally figured outhow to make all of this connect and
everything that I want to do.So, like I said, like when
you go into your solo season,you really have a chance to just really
embrace the time and figure some thingsout. Because in your solo season,
(34:51):
you may seek clarity and you're gonnafind those answers you are you're going to
make very significant changes in your life, and they're gonna feel good that you
made those changes. One of thethings, like another personal just kind of
(35:15):
like element of my solo season,like for me, drinking has changed,
whereas a I was down to likeyou know, I'm gonna have some drinks.
And I'm not saying that I quitdrinking. I'm not saying that at
all. I'm just saying that,like my idea and the attachment not not
(35:40):
a diction, was never like theattachment that I had to drinking. It's
not there anymore, because that wassomething that I intentionally decided that I wanted
to separate myself from a little bit, whereas I just wanted to kind of
fall back from it a little bitto where now like I don't even purchase
(36:01):
it like how I used to.I can't even really tell you the last
like I'll buy a bottle of winehere and there or keep wine in the
house. But it's just changed andI can't even tell you the last time
that I actually bought like like likealcohol, like like a liquor to where
(36:21):
it's been. It it's turned more, you know, to where it's like
I'm like, Okay, it's tacoTuesday, i had a bad day at
work, I'll go have some drinkswith my friends, you know what I
mean. Like it went from thatto where it's just kind of like like
you know, like I'm a littlebit more conscious now of like my body
and my health and the intake andwhere I'm at, like my age and
just getting older and just like justbeing more aware of things. And so
(36:43):
that was one of the big thingsthat I would say have altered while I've
been in my solo season where I'mjust like, I just don't have that
desire to just drink just for youknow what, I mean, for the
hell of it anymore. It's justnot that that great. I'm will definitely
(37:07):
still have some drinks. I willdefinitely still have a night of fun.
If I link up with my girls, or if i take a trip somewhere
and I'm on the beach, iAm going to have some drinks. So
this is not about me trying tosay, oh, quit drinking in your
solo season. No, what I'msaying is that that was one of the
things as a personal example, thatwas one of the things that I realized
(37:29):
while I went into this season.It was one of the things that I
realized that I kind of wanted tochange a little bit. I wanted to
alter h the my consumption of alcohol. And I've done It's not something that
like I've done it. I've I'vebeen successful at it, and that was
(37:52):
an that was a benefit, right, It's only that can only be a
benefit when you're l you know,that's a health benefit. So when you
go into your solo season, youwill seek clarity and you will find answers.
(38:19):
I hope that if you're thinking thatit's time for a solo season,
I hope that you cleanse wounds andheal them. I hope that you battle
those fears and overcome them. AndI hope that you establish your goals and
(38:43):
be successful at achieving them. Butsis, whatever you need in your solo
season, whatever you need it tobe, I just hope that you find
peace within it. So over thenext few weeks, I hope to bring
(39:04):
you some content that will give youkind of like a positive perspective on the
solo season for a woman. AndI hope that somewhere, at some point,
there will be some women that arelistening to this that will embrace this
series and connect and find the relatabilityto it on a deeper level. I
(39:29):
hope that you enjoy your journey.I really do. I hope that it's
everything that you needed to be.I hope that when you go into it,
you go into it with an openmind. A clear heart, intentionality,
(39:51):
and I hope that whenever it doescome to a quote unquote end,
that you got out of it exactlywhat you wanted to get out of it.
And don't forget to journal. Y'allknow how I feel about journaling.
Journal these journal things throughout, especiallyif you weren't ever a journal or now
(40:12):
journal now, if you're just orwhen you decide to go into your solo
season, journal honey. And ifyou are not a writer, listen,
I am a writer. I liketo write things down, so I'm always
pushing journaling, right. But journalingcan also be audio. You have an
audio tool, an audio app onyour phone, journal those things. Journal
(40:37):
your feelings via audio app. Talkabout it if that's you know what I
mean. But I'm a little bitmore biased into writing things down in a
journal. But I want you justlike you know what I mean, Like
the very pivotal, pivotal moments inyour solo season. These are the things
(41:01):
that I really want you to documentbecause these are the things that I want
you to look back at when youcome out of this season. So I
think we can stop this here,come back and tune in for part two
(41:25):
of the blog that is there willbe five parts to the Solo series blog,
but I don't know how many entrieswe're gonna do on the podcast.
I really, honestly, in mymind thinking about it now, I feel
like the entire forties, we're like, this is Entry forties. So I
feel like all the way through throughEntry forty nine will could potentially be our
(41:51):
solo series. Our whole forties couldbe the the solo series. But we'll
see. I definitely know we'll getto forty five depending on how I can
break these entries down into what Iwant to bring to you. We'll see,
but I know we'll go at leastuntil forty five. But I really
feel like maybe the entire forties willbe this solo series. But yeah,
(42:13):
you guys, So that's it again. This was just a blog breakdown.
So if you are curious about whatI just spoke on or what I read
to you, you can check outthe blog on my thoughts of a block
Queen column, which is on theSharing Pink Promo's website. I will have
it linked in the show notes foryou. Check out the blog, let
(42:36):
me know you visited, leave acomment on the blog if you're following me
on social media and you see apost for this entry, comment, let
me know what you think. Andmost importantly, if you are a Apple
user, please, if you haven'talready, leave me a review, let
me know what your thoughts are.That would be extremely wonderful. That would
be a great help to me.And I love, I love, love
(42:59):
love reading your reviews. And shoutout to all of my social media connects
who have inboxed me and who havegiven me their thoughts. Shout out to
you, ladies. You're what Ido it for your like. It means
a lot to me when I getthe feedback from you. So shout out
(43:21):
to all of you. You knowwho you are. Yeah, y'all.
So, I think I'm gonna wrapthis up right here. And I hope
that if you're listening to this onRelease Day with your self care Sunday,
I hope that you're doing something amazingfor yourself. I hope that you're getting
rest. I hope that you're doingsomething for yourself, your body, your
mind, your soul, something forjust you. This is your day,
(43:42):
relax, enjoy it, soaking in. I hope that you have an amazing
week going forward. If you haveto work tomorrow, whatever your week it's
gonna look like going forward for thenext five days. I hope that it's
it's it's just great. I hopethat it's positive, and I hope that
you get things done. I hopean unexpected blessing comes your way. I
hope that you uh reach a goalthat you have been trying to reach.
(44:07):
I hope that you get a blessingthat you've been praying about. I hope
that you get clarity on something thatyou've been seeking answers to. I hope
that something in you blossoms. Ihope that your creative energy flourishes, and
I hope that you just are blessed. So until next time you guys,
I love you and peace and blessings. Let's do this. You're listening to
(44:34):
the thoughts of a blog Queen podcastare thought with your renee a woman,
and I might
Let's do this. You're listening tothe Thoughts of a Blog Queen podcast with
your host, Love Renee, awoman. Hey, y'all, welcome to
(00:31):
Thoughts of the Black Queen Podcast.I am your host, the Rave Renee,
also known as blog Queen, andy'all know what time it is.
It's time for me to pour intoyou, and we're gonna do things a
little bit different. So welcome toWell. First of all, welcome to
Entry forty right. This is thestart of the solo series. So I
(00:51):
got a lot that I want tounpack in this series, a lot.
We're gonna talk about all aspects ofthe solo series. But before we get
into that, I still have topour into you. Y'all know how we
do this at the beginning of theepisode. But I'm gonna switch things up
while we're in the solo series.I am going to give you a dose
of self love. And so thisis actually a book that I've been kind
(01:15):
of going through and I like theway that it's set up. It just
gives you these just these different passageseach day, and so that's what I'm
gonna do. I'm gonna give youa dose of self love for each entry
that we get through the solo series. All right, So first up Entry
(01:38):
forty a dose of self love.But first love yourself because the love of
self is non negotiable. But thenlove yourself because the love of self requires
no apologies and comes with no contingencies. But also love yourself because the love
(02:02):
of self is laced in forgiveness anddipped in authenticity. All right, So
that is your dose of self love. And I love that because I feel
like it really just embodies kind oflike phases of self love. So if
(02:22):
you paid attention to it, itsays, but first love yourself, but
then love yourself, but also loveyourself. So it's kind of promoting that
self love no matter what right,no matter what happens, no matter what
phase of life you're in, nomatter what season you're in, always remember
to love yourself. It's non negotiable. So, you guys, let's go
(02:46):
ahead and get into this intrigue.I hope you guys are doing well.
Happy self care Sunday, y'all knowhow we're doing Sundays. We're taking time
to be intentional about the self carethat we put into ourselves. And this,
(03:08):
you guys, is actually gonna bea blog breakdown. So this is
probably gonna be a little bit quickerthan normal normal entries. I know,
you guys say I say, probablysay I say that all the time.
It's gonna be quicker. But thisis actually when I do a blog breakdown.
If you are not familiar, ablog breakdown means that there is an
actual written blog to pair with thisentry. So if you check out the
(03:30):
blog on the Sharon Pink Promo's website, there is a thoughts of a Blog
Queen blog column and there is ablog that pairs with this. And so
I'm pretty much going to be goingthrough this blog, reading this blog to
you, what kind of giving youa few ad libs along the ways you
can kind of just to kind ofdive deeper into, you know, kind
(03:52):
of where I was going with theblog. So the title of this blog
is going into her solo season,and this is part one. So I'm
gonna do five parts to this.Now. I don't know if there's gonna
be five parts to the written blog. I don't know if there's gonna be
five. I think there's probably gonnabe more than five entries on the podcast,
(04:15):
but there will be five parts tothis blog. So I'm gonna have
at least five blog breakdowns. AndI like the blog breakdowns because I feel
like, you know, some people, they still they they like to read,
and I'm a writer, so Istill like to write my blogs out.
But I feel like when I doa blog breakdown, I can kind
of give you more of my feelingand my emphasis and where you know,
just kind of you hear it comingfrom me versus just reading it. So
(04:39):
that's why I like to do ablog breakdown here and there. So,
yeah, going into her solo season, this is part one and this is
uh deeper than just your singleness.So when we're talking about a solo season,
there are going to be different waysthat people view a solo season,
(05:03):
right. A solo season can bewhatever you want it to be, really
whatever you need it to be,but it's gonna be a point in time
where you realize that you need sometime to yourself, to focus on yourself
because you need to try to youprobably need to like get some things in
line. So yeah, so let'sstart with the why why would any woman
(05:30):
need to go into her solo season? Well, there can be a number
of reasons as to why she should, but there will often be a strong
want to as well. Right,she's gonna wanna do it. It's gonna
be like, I need to dothis for myself, to take a specific
season for however long. That is, to discover things about yourself with the
(05:54):
intention to do this with very littleto no connection to others while doing so
is something that takes your self loveand your self care to another level.
So place an emphasis on that verylittle to no connection to others. Does
it mean that you completely just shutyourself off from the world and isolate yourself.
(06:17):
No, let's not confuse a soloseason with isolation. Isolation I feel
like is multidimensional, and I feellike that's probably a whole nother entry.
So I'm not gonna go too deepinto isolation. But that's not necessarily what
the solo season is. But Ifeel like, for us, when your
(06:41):
mental sys, when your mental levelhas reached its capacity right, meaning you
are feeling the effects of an overloadof emotions due to either the everyday responsibilities
that you have going on in yourlife, the things that you just have
to do that you have to prioritizein your life, or you're feeling that
(07:04):
the connections that you have in yourworld, they're not providing you with a
healthy balance of positive energy, right, That could be another reason it may
be time to go on your soloseason if either of these things are true,
and there are multiple reasons, honestly, but if either of those things
(07:25):
are true, I feel like thosetwo are very significant. And when we
move forward, we will go intothe signs. Actually, I think the
next entry, so make sure youtune in keep up with me on this
series, but the next entry,we'll talk about the signs of when you
might know that it's time to gointo your solo season. But yeah,
(07:46):
so for me, let's get alittle personal. For me, going into
my solo season felt necessary. Andif you follow me on social media and
go back, I'm gonna be reallyhonest with you. My solo season has
lasted for a couple of years.Actually, yeah, I've been in my
solo season for a couple of years, and it just felt like it was
(08:07):
the right time and the right thingto do for me. I had feelings
of pain, fear, stress,abandonment, loneliness, and an overwhelming feeling
of uncertainty, and all of thesethings played factors in my decision to move
(08:28):
into a solo season. I feltlike a solo season would be the remedy
for me. And I'm still inmy solo season. That's the thing.
Like, I'm still in it currently, and so I'm still occupying this space
(08:50):
in my life. And I canconfidently, one percent, without a doubt,
say that it has been one ofthe most insightful and challenging yet it
has been rewarding periods of my life, very insightful. When you go into
(09:13):
your solo season, you are areable to be very introspective, and you're
you are able to really hear yourself, among other things, hear how you
respond to things here, take alook back and really reflect on how you
responded to things. Uh, lookat things in hindsight. You're able to
just like really kind of like seelike, Okay, what space of mind
(09:39):
was I in when I made thisdecision or when I said these things,
or when I decided to do this, Like what space of mind was I
in? Because it may look differentwhen you're in your solo season. So
I can look back and there arethings that like I did a year ago,
and I don't see that I wouldeven and make those same decisions.
(10:01):
Where I'm at today, I justdon't see it. And that is not
only growth, but that's just likeI said, that's that introspection where you're
just kind of like when you're inthe moment of it, you don't necessarily
you don't necessarily I'm not gonna sayyou don't really realize what you're doing,
but sometimes you don't. But I'mjust saying that, like, when you're
(10:22):
in the moment, you make decisionson what you think is best for that
time. But then when you're outof that moment and then you go into
a period of your life, suchas your solo season, where you're able
to really take a look at thedecisions that you made and the choices that
you made and see things for whatthey are. You really just sometimes you
really gain you gain perspective, andit's kind of like, damn, Okay,
(10:46):
yeah I did that. So Iwant to define my definition of the
solo season a little bit more clearly. So the solo season is a period
in one's life where introspection of themselvestakes a priority over what has typically been
(11:07):
routine. All right, let mesay that again. The solo season is
a period in one's life where introspectionof themselves takes the priority over what has
typically been routine. It means thatyou are choosing to disconnect from the outside
factors of your day to day lifewithin all things reasonable, of course,
(11:31):
and you're just focusing on you.And when I say within all things reasonable,
I mean that, like you know, like I said, we're not
to confuse this with isolation. Goinginto your solo season isn't saying no,
I'm going to my room, I'mgonna lock my door and I'm not gonna
you know what I mean, I'mnot going to speak to anybody for the
next thirty days. No, becauseyou have to be reasonable about it.
Like obviously, I still work,we still grind, we still have things
(11:52):
that we do. If we're mothers, we still have children to take care
of, like you know what Imean. So going into your solo season
is more honestly, I would sayit is probably like seventy five percent mental
and twenty five percent physical because youdo have to I feel like, kind
of disconnect yourself physically from things.But it's more so mental than anything because
(12:18):
you really have to program your mindin that season to understand that you're about
to maneuver as though you are inyour solo season and so things are gonna
change. It's taking an authentic approachto self awareness and understanding that you always
have room and the capacity for moregrowth, right, because that's the goal.
(12:43):
That's what we're always trying to do. Work. We want to grow,
right can we can? We neverstop growing? I talked about that,
I think a little bit in thelast entry. It was like growth
is great, right, and it'sgreat to see how we've grown from one
point to the next. But likeI honestly feel like growth is something that
will continue to do, will continueto do it. It's not something that
(13:03):
really ever stops. So it couldconsist of healing from a trauma or a
failed relationship. It could be discipliningyourself in different ways, both physically and
mentally, so you just might startchanging some things. And I'm going to
talk about that a little bit moretoo. But it could be putting a
(13:28):
magnifying glass over your evolution in lifethus far, meaning how far you've come,
and understanding the significance of the changesthrough it. So the evolution of
you from your twenties to your thirties, to your forties to your fifties to
wherever you are, your teens toyour twenties, if you're in your late
twenties, if you're in your earlythirties, if you're in your early forties,
(13:50):
if you just hit forty, whereveryou are, the evolution of you
and understanding the significance of the changesthat you've made through there and hopefully you
have progressively, like made positive changes. We want to always go forward.
We don't really want to make toomany steps back and taking the steps back,
(14:15):
they're not gonna be like going backwards. We're gonna make mistakes, we're
gonna fall short, We're gonna dothings we're like, ah, probably shouldn't
have did that, but I didit anyway, or I know better than
this, But you know what,like temptation is of it. So I
make this decision and I gotta livewith it, and now I need to
reflect on why I did it,you know what I mean. So,
like I'm just saying that, likewe make the decisions, and we're just
(14:35):
trying to really put a scope onwhy we made certain decisions. But it
could also be attempting to understand someof the wrongs and giving yourself the grace
to forgive yourself for each of thosemistakes. So, like I said,
when you make those mistakes and you'rejust kind of like, yeah, I
knew better, I really knew better. And they say, if you knew
(14:58):
better, you do sometimes you knowwhat, you know, we're human.
We make some decisions sometimes and they'renot always necessarily the right pick, because
that's what human beings do. Butit is with hopes that you're learning from
these decisions that you're making and thesethings that you classify as mistakes, because
sometimes things may not always be amistake. And that's a mindset thing right
(15:26):
there, to learn how to lookat certain things as maybe not necessarily a
mistake, but maybe like a detour, if you will. Or like I
said, when we talked about failurein the last entry or the last couple
of entries, we talked about howfailure can be looked at as just you
collecting data. So it's kind oflike if we can look at the mistakes
(15:48):
that we make, because I thinkthat will help us to give us the
grace that we need and so we'renot always just down on ourselves and like
just feeling terrible, because that's somethingthat we tend to do we tend to
like make the wrong choices or makemistakes, and then we're really hard on
ourselves. We really feel we feelbad. Like I know, for me,
sometimes I'll do something or I'll likeI've made a decision, and I'm
just kind of like, oh gosh, why did I do that? Like
(16:11):
why did I do that in themoment, you know what I mean?
And then I have to realize,Okay, you did this because of this
right here, this is why youdid this, because this is what you
desire, this is what you're feelingyou lack, or this is what you've
always wanted, or this is somethingthat you've never done in your life,
and so you like, you knowwhat I mean, Like, there's always
a reason to why you make someof the choices that you make in that
(16:33):
moment. So the idea of itall is to reflect on that. So
giving yourself that grace what do wetalked about, that the space and the
grace to forgive yourself for those mistakes. Right, understand this about your solo
season. Your solo season is custommade. It's custom made. You have
(17:00):
to decide how to tailor fit itto what you need at this particular time
in your life. So will Isay, Okay, you know, I
don't feel like your solo season isgonna be all right. I'm giving myself
thirty days, but that like,maybe it is for you, Maybe it
is giving yourself thirty days from doyou know what I mean? It's custom.
(17:22):
You have to figure out what's gonnabe best for yourself. But I
would encourage you not to put atime limit on it, because I feel
like once you put a time limiton your solo season, then you're kind
of forcing yourself to have this greatperspective or this this big epiphany by the
end of thirty days, and thenif you don't, then what No,
(17:44):
So don't I really you know whatI mean? Like, I encourage you
not to necessarily put a time stampon how long your solo season is,
because listen, when I went intoit, could I have told you that
my solo season was gonna consist ofa couple of years. No, but
it has, And that's because I'mnot I'm not through with it yet.
I'm not through with my solo seasonyet. I'm still learning things, I'm
(18:10):
still feeling things, I'm still takingthe time to understand myself through things.
I'm still figuring a lot of thingsout in my solo season, so it's
it's just not over. And oneof the things that kind of inflicted my
I would say would be the catalystfor why I personally went into my solo
season was because number one, youknow, life at the time was life
(18:37):
in and I had to go throughthings with my living situation where I wasn't
even able to live in my ownhome. I had to get like a
major construction and you know, Ithink I've talked about that some some periods
of time during one of these entries, you know, I had to go
through that, and so I wasn'teven able to go to I mean,
I wasn't even able to live inmy house for about five months. I
(19:00):
wasn't able to live in my house. And that brought that life event brought
upon a huge massive amount of stresstowards me, very stressed. And because
of that stress, my reaction tothe stress was I was doing things that
(19:22):
were not good for me. Iwas overeating, I was lashing out,
I was choosing not to see thingsfor what they actually were. Like I
just like, it was just avery stressful time. And so it was
at that point when I realized,like, this is how you're handling,
Like I was drinking more just becauseyou know what I mean, And I'm
(19:45):
just being real authentic, Like itwas stressful, so and and you know,
I was in a relationship at thattime, but I had to deal
with a lot of what came alongwith that life event, you know what
I mean, Like I had tohandle that, and so because it was
(20:07):
my home, you know what Imean, So like I primarily I had
to handle a lot of those things, and I had to make a lot
of decisions. And just if you'veever dealt with insurance companies and construction companies
and contractors and all of those,it's a lot. It's stressful. I
don't wish that on anybody. Butso it was how I was reacting to
that life event that I realized thatmy management of stress was not the greatest
(20:30):
and that I needed to take sometime and be very introspective and be like
I was self Like for me,I've always been really good. I'm I'm
really good at being self aware.I'm really good at being self aware.
I feel like, and it mighttake me a minute, but I will.
I'm pretty good at being self awareabout something so I realized that I
(20:52):
just wasn't handled in that period ofmy life really well. Then I needed
to figure out better ways to handlemyself and get through things, because that
may not be the last time thatI have to deal with a life event
that is very stressful for me,and I need to be I need to
be better to myself. So thenso then when I started it, like
I you know, like I gotinto the gym, I was like,
(21:15):
I was really like focusing and Iwas really like trying to get a hold
on what I needed to do formyself. But it's just getting back to
you, and that's what I needed, right. So it's like I said,
it's taking a break from other connections, right, But not to be
confused with isolation. So let's staylet's let's unpack the isolation for a minute.
(21:42):
So when I say it's not tobe confused with isolation, I want
you to understand that it's not likeI said, it's not locking yourself away.
It's not just declining all calls.It's just limiting the connections you may
have been used to, like usedto yielding in and pouring so much of
yourself into and just pulling back fromthose attachments. But again, like I
(22:06):
said, you're the designer of theseason, So it's gonna look and it's
gonna feel the way you desire itto be. And your heart and your
mind are gonna guide you through this. They're gonna take you through They're gonna
let you know. So that's whyI said, like, I really don't
feel like you should put a timestamp on how long your solo season is,
but just go into it knowing thisis where I'm at right now.
(22:30):
They're gonna be You're gonna just decideto do things differently, and you may
need to be intentional about some ofthe things that you're doing in your life.
So that could change. That couldchange with how much you interact with
people in your life, with family, with friends. And when I said
when I when I put in thesubtitle that it's deeper than singleness, I
(22:55):
mean, you don't it doesn't necessarilymean that you have to be single,
because, like I said, Ifeel like a solo season is probably more,
it's greater, it's mentally greater thanit is physically. So just like
as an example, and we're gonnatouch on this a little bit more later
on into this series, but solotravel. Solo travel may be an element
(23:17):
of your solo season, and withthis could potentially come the curiosity of people
in your life as to why you'redoing this. Why are you solo traveling?
Why are you trying to take tripsin or why are you trying to
do things on your own? Whyare you trying to go place this on
your own? Well that's because that'swhat I felt like I needed to do.
So people are gonna be curious,Oh, why are you taking trips
(23:38):
by yourself? Why are you tryingto go? You know what I mean?
Like, why are you trying togo? Because like for me,
like I'm like, listen, I'mtrying to go to Puerto Rico, I'm
trying to go to Jamaic, LikeI'm trying to do these things and I'm
okay with doing by myself. Andyou know, just expressing this to certain
people that why you why are youtrying to go out of the country by
yourself or why? And I getit, cause you know, there's always
(23:59):
you have to their safety. SoI get that part of it too,
But you're still gonna choose to doit. I'm still gonna do it.
I'm still gonna do it, andI'm gonna do it because I feel comfortable
with that choice and I find itnecessary because going into your solo So when
you talk about your solo season andsolo travel, it may be necessary because
(24:22):
you may need to remove yourself fromthe environment that you're in. And you
may not be able to go andpick up and go and travel somewhere and
stay there for months at a time. No, but you may need to
remove yourself from the energy that you'reused to being. And so if you
can take a week away and gosomewhere just out of the energy of where
(24:44):
you've been, your home, yourwork, take that PTO time, y'all,
use it. You've earned it,use it. Use your PTO.
And even if you can't financially solotravel, do a staycation. Get out
of your house, go stay ina nice hotel, one of your favorite
(25:07):
hotels, or find a nice hotelon a different side of town you're downtown
or whatever. Get out of theenergy of your home and really really go
into hermit mode and think about somethings while you're in your solo season.
But solo travel, I feel likeis a big one and that's something that
(25:27):
I am definitely going to go intoand I am going to talk about that
a little further down into the series, and I am going to take a
solo trip and we'll talk about thata little bit more. But yeah,
that you know, when you dothis, it's a different environment and you're
(25:52):
gonna get excitement and satisfaction from it, and you're gonna look forward to it.
I'm really looking for to embarking onsolo travel and I'm doing a lot
of things now to try to helpme prepare for it. Financially, mentally,
I gotta work on this anxiety.But I gotta do it. It's
one of those things that I haveto do because I need it. And
(26:17):
like I said, people may questionyour solo season, and that's okay.
They may question it. They mayquestion why you're not answering the phone.
They may question why you're not comingout as much as you used to.
And you know what, you eitheroffer an explanation for it, or you
(26:37):
don't have to. That choice isyours. That's the beautiful thing about your
solo season. Like I said,your solo season is custom made. You
can offer very little explanation and understandingand clarity to people, or you can
really be authentic and really go intobreak it all down. This is what's
(27:00):
going on, and this is whatI need to do. Don't take it
personal, but I really, youknow, like I need some space away
from everything and everybody in my liferight now, including you, And that's
what I have to do for myself. Because see, the thing is the
attitude and mindset in this season isequivalent to respectfully not really caring what others
(27:25):
think about your choices. So evenif they, you know, people making
comments about why you don't call oryou haven't answered the phone or you haven't
come by, you know what Imean. Like it's like, yeah,
I get it, you know whatI mean. But honestly, like you
know, it's not that you don'tcare, but you kind of don't.
Because this is the time that youhave to be intentional about taking for yourself.
(27:55):
You're more focused on cause consistently doingwhat you think is best for you,
not what you think other people aregonna think is best or what other
people think you should be doing.No, it's what you think is best.
The explanation only has to make senseto you. Remember that and to
(28:19):
be clear though, even though it'smore common for a person going into their
solo season they're single, it's probablyI would say, it's probably more common.
It isn't necessarily about being single andnot dating, because, like I
said, when I started my soloseason, I was not single. I
(28:41):
was very much in a full onrelationship. But like I said, I
mentally had to decide that, like, Okay, I gotta go, I
gotta be a little bit more introspectiveabout some things. So I was in
a relationship when this started. Butit's not It's not about being single and
(29:02):
not dating or not having anyone inyour intimate life. It's deeper than that,
because honestly, even in relationships,at times, we can still be
faced with the inward feelings of whetheror not a relationship journey is something we
can continue to bar embark on,and we may even feel like we need
to acquire that quote unquote space fromthe relationship, as we might call it,
(29:27):
that space. I need a littlebit of space. Now, if
you're listen listening to that, ifyou're married, that it's different, it's
gonna so, like I said,it's gotta be different. So you just
have to figure out, Okay,if you're married, but you feel like
you need this solo season. How'sthat gonna look for you? And how
are you gonna communicate that to yourspouse that this is what you're gonna do,
(29:47):
because you wanna make sure that you'recommunicating that is something that you do
have to communicate out of respect fory your your marriage, and respect for
the emotions and the feelings of yourpartner. You do want to kind of
explain explain it, but explain itin a way that you're making them understand
(30:10):
what it is about and that it'snot about them. It's about me.
This isn't about me like trying togo leave the family for a week.
No, And like I said,your solo season may have to be a
bit more mental that it is physical. It just depends. It's different when
you're a single woman, you livealone, you're not dating anybody, and
(30:33):
you decide to go in your soloseason versus you're a woman who has a
lot of responsibilities. You have smallchildren, you are taking care of a
household, you're running a business,you have family issues going on. You
may have had some things you needto communicate with your partner. There may
be a little bit of stickiness ortension between you and your spouse, and
you may need to take some timeto figure out how you need to deliver
(30:56):
some of the things that you're feeling, so you may need to take a
solo season for that. Like Isaid, it's deeper than just being single.
So, like I said, mysolo season actually began where I was
in a v very like au.It was a long term relationship and at
that point I probably was already inmy relationship for a couple two to three
(31:18):
years. At the time when itstarted, I was very much in this
long term relationship which later would becomea part of my life that had to
come to an end. And itis because of this season that I was
in, this season of introspection,that I would discover this. Yeah,
(31:41):
I had to figure I had tomake some hard decisions. I had to
face some hard truths. I hadto really go inward, and I had
to really like step outside of myselffor a minute and look at things for
exactly what they were. And Ihad to face things that I wasn't ready
to face. But I had todo this, and I had to realize
(32:04):
what was not for me any longer. So again, there are a number
of reasons as to why one wouldchoose a solo season, and it is
with hopes that during this particular seasonyou will become crystal crystal clear as to
(32:25):
your why. Another thing that Ithink that we can kind of like dive
into is creative inspiration. I thinkthat's another honorable mention and benefit of going
into your solo season, and definitelywas for me because it's one of those
one of those elements that could cometo us in so many different ways and
(32:46):
forms that will allow us to expresswhat we may have been bottling up or
felt like we didn't have the timeor space to lean into. So to
actually make the time to explore yourpassions and bring them to life in a
season that is designed to cater toyour mental and emotional needs can be a
beautifully curated project and process along theway you when you go into a solo
(33:10):
season. If you are creative likemyself, I write, I blog,
I podcast, I create content,I do all things creative that some of
my best ideas and my best writingflow have come while I've been in my
solo season. I've gotten more motivated, I've been more intentional. I've just
(33:37):
been able to really like figure outwhat I creatively like the bigger picture,
and I've been able to really likeembrace that and really go in you know
what I mean, Like I've kindof defined a little bit more of the
(33:59):
things that I want to do.It's become it, it has become over
time a little bit more clear towhere I've been able to really kind of
like niche down into self care,whereas that wasn't necessarily where my mind was
creatively a year ago. And theideas that I finally have like figured out
(34:25):
that I wanted to do with asfar as like all of these writing projects
and things like I finally figured outhow to make all of this connect and
everything that I want to do.So, like I said, like when
you go into your solo season,you really have a chance to just really
embrace the time and figure some thingsout. Because in your solo season,
(34:51):
you may seek clarity and you're gonnafind those answers you are you're going to
make very significant changes in your life, and they're gonna feel good that you
made those changes. One of thethings, like another personal just kind of
(35:15):
like element of my solo season,like for me, drinking has changed,
whereas a I was down to likeyou know, I'm gonna have some drinks.
And I'm not saying that I quitdrinking. I'm not saying that at
all. I'm just saying that,like my idea and the attachment not not
(35:40):
a diction, was never like theattachment that I had to drinking. It's
not there anymore, because that wassomething that I intentionally decided that I wanted
to separate myself from a little bit, whereas I just wanted to kind of
fall back from it a little bitto where now like I don't even purchase
(36:01):
it like how I used to.I can't even really tell you the last
like I'll buy a bottle of winehere and there or keep wine in the
house. But it's just changed andI can't even tell you the last time
that I actually bought like like likealcohol, like like a liquor to where
(36:21):
it's been. It it's turned more, you know, to where it's like
I'm like, Okay, it's tacoTuesday, i had a bad day at
work, I'll go have some drinkswith my friends, you know what I
mean. Like it went from thatto where it's just kind of like like
you know, like I'm a littlebit more conscious now of like my body
and my health and the intake andwhere I'm at, like my age and
just getting older and just like justbeing more aware of things. And so
(36:43):
that was one of the big thingsthat I would say have altered while I've
been in my solo season where I'mjust like, I just don't have that
desire to just drink just for youknow what, I mean, for the
hell of it anymore. It's justnot that that great. I'm will definitely
(37:07):
still have some drinks. I willdefinitely still have a night of fun.
If I link up with my girls, or if i take a trip somewhere
and I'm on the beach, iAm going to have some drinks. So
this is not about me trying tosay, oh, quit drinking in your
solo season. No, what I'msaying is that that was one of the
things as a personal example, thatwas one of the things that I realized
(37:29):
while I went into this season.It was one of the things that I
realized that I kind of wanted tochange a little bit. I wanted to
alter h the my consumption of alcohol. And I've done It's not something that
like I've done it. I've I'vebeen successful at it, and that was
(37:52):
an that was a benefit, right, It's only that can only be a
benefit when you're l you know,that's a health benefit. So when you
go into your solo season, youwill seek clarity and you will find answers.
(38:19):
I hope that if you're thinking thatit's time for a solo season,
I hope that you cleanse wounds andheal them. I hope that you battle
those fears and overcome them. AndI hope that you establish your goals and
(38:43):
be successful at achieving them. Butsis, whatever you need in your solo
season, whatever you need it tobe, I just hope that you find
peace within it. So over thenext few weeks, I hope to bring
(39:04):
you some content that will give youkind of like a positive perspective on the
solo season for a woman. AndI hope that somewhere, at some point,
there will be some women that arelistening to this that will embrace this
series and connect and find the relatabilityto it on a deeper level. I
(39:29):
hope that you enjoy your journey.I really do. I hope that it's
everything that you needed to be.I hope that when you go into it,
you go into it with an openmind. A clear heart, intentionality,
(39:51):
and I hope that whenever it doescome to a quote unquote end,
that you got out of it exactlywhat you wanted to get out of it.
And don't forget to journal. Y'allknow how I feel about journaling.
Journal these journal things throughout, especiallyif you weren't ever a journal or now
(40:12):
journal now, if you're just orwhen you decide to go into your solo
season, journal honey. And ifyou are not a writer, listen,
I am a writer. I liketo write things down, so I'm always
pushing journaling, right. But journalingcan also be audio. You have an
audio tool, an audio app onyour phone, journal those things. Journal
(40:37):
your feelings via audio app. Talkabout it if that's you know what I
mean. But I'm a little bitmore biased into writing things down in a
journal. But I want you justlike you know what I mean, Like
the very pivotal, pivotal moments inyour solo season. These are the things
(41:01):
that I really want you to documentbecause these are the things that I want
you to look back at when youcome out of this season. So I
think we can stop this here,come back and tune in for part two
(41:25):
of the blog that is there willbe five parts to the Solo series blog,
but I don't know how many entrieswe're gonna do on the podcast.
I really, honestly, in mymind thinking about it now, I feel
like the entire forties, we're like, this is Entry forties. So I
feel like all the way through throughEntry forty nine will could potentially be our
(41:51):
solo series. Our whole forties couldbe the the solo series. But we'll
see. I definitely know we'll getto forty five depending on how I can
break these entries down into what Iwant to bring to you. We'll see,
but I know we'll go at leastuntil forty five. But I really
feel like maybe the entire forties willbe this solo series. But yeah,
(42:13):
you guys, So that's it again. This was just a blog breakdown.
So if you are curious about whatI just spoke on or what I read
to you, you can check outthe blog on my thoughts of a block
Queen column, which is on theSharing Pink Promo's website. I will have
it linked in the show notes foryou. Check out the blog, let
(42:36):
me know you visited, leave acomment on the blog if you're following me
on social media and you see apost for this entry, comment, let
me know what you think. Andmost importantly, if you are a Apple
user, please, if you haven'talready, leave me a review, let
me know what your thoughts are.That would be extremely wonderful. That would
be a great help to me.And I love, I love, love
(42:59):
love reading your reviews. And shoutout to all of my social media connects
who have inboxed me and who havegiven me their thoughts. Shout out to
you, ladies. You're what Ido it for your like. It means
a lot to me when I getthe feedback from you. So shout out
(43:21):
to all of you. You knowwho you are. Yeah, y'all.
So, I think I'm gonna wrapthis up right here. And I hope
that if you're listening to this onRelease Day with your self care Sunday,
I hope that you're doing something amazingfor yourself. I hope that you're getting
rest. I hope that you're doingsomething for yourself, your body, your
mind, your soul, something forjust you. This is your day,
(43:42):
relax, enjoy it, soaking in. I hope that you have an amazing
week going forward. If you haveto work tomorrow, whatever your week it's
gonna look like going forward for thenext five days. I hope that it's
it's it's just great. I hopethat it's positive, and I hope that
you get things done. I hopean unexpected blessing comes your way. I
hope that you uh reach a goalthat you have been trying to reach.
(44:07):
I hope that you get a blessingthat you've been praying about. I hope
that you get clarity on something thatyou've been seeking answers to. I hope
that something in you blossoms. Ihope that your creative energy flourishes, and
I hope that you just are blessed. So until next time you guys,
I love you and peace and blessings. Let's do this. You're listening to
(44:34):
the thoughts of a blog Queen podcastare thought with your renee a woman,
and I might
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.