I took my very first solo trip and in this entry I discussed some of my experiences and how they can relate to pushing yourself to complete certain goals you may have been putting off or fearful to complete.
Books discussed in this entry:
A Dose of Self Love- https://amzn.to/3S6qukc
What a Time To Be Alone- https://amzn.to/4cETbNy
Black Girls Take World - https://amzn.to/4eUkDbw
This week’s journal prompt: What is it that makes me shine? List 3 things you are confident about yourself.
Connect with me on IG
https://www.instagram.com/thou...
For sponsorship or advertising inquiries please email blogqueenpodcast@gmail.com
This episode is sponsored by:
For connection to our UGC Creator sponsor of this episode please connect with Shytavia at
craftychicshytavia@yahoo.com for UGC brand needs.
TT: https://bit.ly/4bXdjJw
*Also please check out her guided weight loss journal
https://amzn.to/4f3Umry
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/thoughts-of-a-blog-queen--2822332/support.
Books discussed in this entry:
A Dose of Self Love- https://amzn.to/3S6qukc
What a Time To Be Alone- https://amzn.to/4cETbNy
Black Girls Take World - https://amzn.to/4eUkDbw
This week’s journal prompt: What is it that makes me shine? List 3 things you are confident about yourself.
Connect with me on IG
https://www.instagram.com/thou...
For sponsorship or advertising inquiries please email blogqueenpodcast@gmail.com
This episode is sponsored by:
For connection to our UGC Creator sponsor of this episode please connect with Shytavia at
craftychicshytavia@yahoo.com for UGC brand needs.
TT: https://bit.ly/4bXdjJw
*Also please check out her guided weight loss journal
https://amzn.to/4f3Umry
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/thoughts-of-a-blog-queen--2822332/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:20):
Dear self, the sensation associated withbeing outside of my comfort zone is starting
to feel like home. I'm beginningto trust that sensation that I've always labeled
as anxiety. This sensation is actuallyexcitement towards the infinite possibilities that the universe
(00:45):
is slightly nudging me forward. Itrust you. Let's do this. You're
listening to the Thoughts of a blogpodcast A woman and I might Hey,
(01:11):
y'all, welcome back. Welcome backto another entry of Thoughts of a Black
Queen podcast. I am your host, Loree Renee, also known as Block
Queen. Welcome back to another entry, you guys. Oh my god,
I feel like it's been forever.I feel like it has been forever since
I came and dropped a new entry. I've had a lot going on,
(01:37):
y'all. I have been extremely busyso for the past if you're keeping up
with me, then you already knowso, like for the past few weeks,
I have been planning for my firstsolo travel trip, and hence you
can see by the title of thisentry, we're gonna get into all of
that and the details of that anda few but yeah, So I've been
(01:59):
really busy, just like preparing forall that and trying to make sure that
I had all my ducks in arow with going and just trying to get
like swallow that little bit of anxietythat I think I had about going on
a solo trip for the first time. But I'm good now I'm back,
and yeah, I had a really, really good time. So we're gonna
(02:23):
talk about that. We're gonna talkabout solo travel as it just relates to
where you are in life of thisis something that you have never done before.
This is more geared towards my ladiesthat have not experienced solo travel before
and maybe are a little bit nervousto do it, just you know,
have always had in their mind kindof like myself, that you needed to
(02:46):
have someone to go with you.And I think for me it was more
so just like the anxiety of likethe safety of it. But I gotta
tell you, guys, I hadan amazing time. So this is who
this this entry is going to encouragethose of you that have not. And
(03:07):
if you have gone on solo travel, then you are a step ahead of
us. You've already been there,done that, and there are people out
here who who now only go anddo solo travel, and they have made
just great memories and done great things. They've built platforms off of solo travel.
(03:28):
I wanna talk about this book thatI found. It's called Black Girls
Take World, the travel Bible forBlack Women. I wanna talk about that
and a couple of passages that Ifound in there. And we're gonna talk
about the book that we're gonna I'mreading this month that I wanna share with
you guys. So, uh,let's talk about the dose of self love
(03:52):
I poured into you, guys.I hope you guys caught that at the
beginning of the the entry. Let'stalk about that. Let's get the levels
together, and let's talk about that. So if you missed it, I'm
gonna read it again. It said, dear self, the sensation associated with
(04:13):
being outside of my comfort zone isstarting to feel like home. I'm beginning
to trust that sensation that I've mislabeledas anxiety. This sensation is actually excitement
towards the infinite possibilities that the universeis slightly nudging me toward. I trust
you. So this dose of selflove is talking about how what we might
(04:40):
think and label things as anxiety whichis something that I do often because I
have had to deal with anxiety foryears. It's talking about turning that into
looking at it from a different perspective. When you're trying to do new things,
and when you're trying to get outof your comfort zone, and when
you're preparing yourself to embark on anew journey, you will label that as
(05:06):
anxiety because you're nervous, right,because it's out of your comfort zone.
It's something that you make that you'venever done before. So that was kind
of like what I was just speakingabout. As far as solo travel.
It's something that you've you haven't donebefore, so you you label that.
You're like, oh my god,all of this anxiety. I even I
talked to my mom about it beforeI went. I was like, Mom,
(05:26):
I'm I'm so my anxiety is likegoing crazy, you know. But
in this passage, in this doseof self love, he's telling us to
change the perspective on it and labelit as it as excitement. Because see,
that's the thing about mindset. Whatyou tell yourself you are is what
you're gonna be. So if youtell yourself that this is anxiety, I'm
(05:48):
nervous I'm anxious, that is whatis gonna be. But if you tell
yourself, if you can find away to tell yourself that this is excitement
and that this is you know,I'm the the universe is put me into
a new level in my life,you can look at things differently and feel
better about embarking on it. AndI think that's what I had to do
before I took my solo trip.I had to just turn that there was
(06:11):
just a bit of a I don'tknow, it was like a knot in
my stomach that I was feeling,and I was just like, I don't
you know, this is just differentonly because it was, like I said,
it was out of my comfort zone. So I felt like I didn't
like, I didn't know, I'venever been to this place before. What's
it gonna be? Like, youknow, despite everything that I had already
(06:33):
done because I did a lot ofresearch and so so if you don't know,
I went to New Orleans. Iwent to New Orleans and I had
an amazing time. You guys,I'm gonna talk about that in a little
bit. But I had to thinkabout it. I mean even up until,
(06:55):
like I think the night before waswhen I was texting with my mom
about it that my mom was like, what is going on? She was
like, you should be excited.You should be you know, And she
said that, she was like,you should be excited. You are about
to do something very different. Youknow, you have gone through a lot
the past year. You have hadto you know, overcome a few things.
(07:16):
But you're getting ready to do somethingthat you wanted to do. You
had a desire to do it,you set the intention to do it,
and now the day has finally arrivedand you're actually gonna do it, So
you should be excited. And Ithought about it and I'm like, yeah,
like yeah, this is I wantedto do this. I wanted to
do this. And then I'm thinking, I'm like, you know, I'm
(07:41):
not gonna be I'm gonna be alone. But like I'm not gonna be alone.
You understand, like there's community that'sgonna be there. And by community
I mean all of the other peoplethat are traveling to this destination for the
same purpose as me. And forme, it was about being able to
network. It was it was aboutbeing able to put myself out there.
(08:03):
I set the intention to have Ihad some new business cards for the podcast
made so my I had a personalgoal to take those out there and give
give away fifty of those business cards. So that was something that I was
able to accomplish. I felt proudof myself about that, just putting myself
(08:28):
and and my brand and my platformout there and just doing something a little
bit different, and that's what Iwanted to do, So I was like,
why stop being you know? AndI think it also had a lot
to do with the fact that Ihad so many other things going on just
here at home. I think therewas a bit of a nerve that was
(08:50):
just being like, you know,tap danced upon knowing that I was going
on a vacation and I still hada few things that needed to be taken
care of at home but that Iwould have to deal with when I got
back. So I think that waskind of bothering me a little bit.
But outside of that, I justthought about it and I'm like, Yeah,
this is something that I have talkedabout and talked about and talked about,
(09:13):
and I can remember just being onsocial media and just like talking about
it and just asking different people like, oh, have you ever done this?
Have you ever? Do you know? And just hearing some people say
no, I've never done solo travel, and then I've heard, you know,
some people say, yeah, solotravel is the best thing to you
know, ever, like it's like, yeah, like I'll never forget that
(09:35):
I had the time of my life. Just hearing mixed things and just thinking
about the possibility that I would beable to share and experience with the people
that have not and I would beable to compare my experience, like in
a positive way with the people thathave and you know, everything that the
people that I heard say that theyhave done solo travel before, everything that
(09:56):
they said was exactly I mean II was literally saying the exact same things.
I was like, I had thetime of my life and I literally
did. And so if we canjust changed our perspective a little bit,
and I'm sorry, guys, reallysorry, I'm trying to get those levels
(10:20):
together, but yeah, if wecan just change the perspective a little bit
and think about how it's something thatwe've just wanted to do and how long
are you gonna wait to do thosethings? How long are you gonna wait?
If we're not learning anything from everythingthat we're seeing in social media,
(10:41):
if we're not getting anything from that. If we're not paying attention, we
should be understanding and we should becoming to terms with that. Time waits
for no one, Like here weare, we are mid mid actually past
mid twenty twenty four, right beforeyou know it, you guys, and
(11:03):
I hate to like skip above time, but before you know it, we'll
be in twenty twenty five. Solike, how much longer are we gonna
wait to do the things that wereally truly want to do if we are
if we have the means to doit. Obviously it wasn't there were other
factors for me personally as to whyI hadn't taken a solo trip thus far.
(11:26):
It wasn't just the fact that Iwas just like, oh, well,
I'm just waiting around, or youknow, there were other things,
but the majority of it was probablyjust like, okay, am I actually
gonna do it. But if youhave the means to do something, and
this goes for just anything, notjust solo travel, but just anything that
you have a desire to do,you need to begin the process in doing
(11:48):
it and just just do it.Because who's to say whether you will have
the means or the opportunity to beable to do those things again, you
understand what I'm saying, Like wewe can't take time for granted, we
can't take resources for granted. Wehave to We gotta move. We we
(12:15):
gotta move. So I wanna talkabout this book because, like I said,
l like before I started, wellnot before I started, but as
I've got closer to the time forme to actually take my trip, I
was doing research, you guys.I was on social media, finding like
(12:37):
solo travel groups. I was justlooking up different blogs and things for experiences
from black women and you know,where they went, how they felt,
things they did. You know,we're starting to use TikTok like we used
Google. Anything you want to search, you look it up on TikTok.
I found myself doing that a lot. So, like I I have been
(13:01):
like just looking up different things andjust trying to, you know, just
trying to get my mind together,just wrap my mind around the concept of
me doing something for myself. AndI literally didn't tell anybody in my family
until it was actually time for meto go. I told my mom a
(13:24):
couple of days before I went,and my son obviously I told him,
I told him first, but itwas something you know, didn't talk about
it with any friends or anything likethat because it was something that I needed
to process on my own. Ididn't want to hear the opinions of other
people. I didn't really want tonecessarily have people try to invite themselves to
(13:48):
go. I didn't want to hearanything negative about well, I don't know
if you should do that, orwhy are you gonna go somewhere by yourself?
I didn't want to hear the opinionsof things. I needed to be
able to process that. I neededto keep the same attitude and mindset that
I had about solo travel, andI needed to block I'm not saying that
that's what any of my friends orfamily would have done. I don't know
what they would have done. Ididn't want to find out. I wanted
(14:09):
to be able to experience it theway that I set the intention to experience
it was to do this by myselfand see what would happen, see what
connections I could make along the way. And I actually made a great connection
along the way. I connected withsomeone from a solo from one of the
(14:31):
solo travel groups that I joined,and she and I we communicated a couple
of weeks prior to actually leaving,and it turned out to be an amazing
and amazing experience. I had anamazing time with her, and I really
hope that it, you know,turns into hopefully like a lifelong friendship and
(14:52):
we'll be able to connect and justkind of make a make a thing of
it, hopefully, because we hada lot of things in common, and
and we just processed the idea ofsolo travel the same way we got to
know each other. But like Isaid, I didn't I I kept the
idea of solo travel to myself becauseespecially from from people in my personal circle,
(15:16):
because I wanted to keep the samemindset about I didn't want to second
guess myself. I didn't want toI I I did. I didn't want
to talk myself out of it.I didn't wanna scare myself out of it.
I didn't wanna let anybody's impact orjust anybody's anything, have any any
(15:37):
type of energy to shift my mindon it. And that's kind of how
we have to move with anything thatwe do, whether it is travel,
whether it is a new project likethe like they always say, you have
to move in silence. Sometimes thatis something that you have to if if
(15:58):
you it's and it's okay. Youdon't have to feel bad about keeping things
to yourself, keeping things that youwant to do for yourself. Listen,
everybody is out here doing things forthemselves. This is called life, This
is called being an adult, thisis called being a grown woman. We're
doing things, We're doing things forourselves. We are not gonna always have
(16:18):
you know, those people that wejust turn to all of the time to
make decisions, And that's not howwe should be able to move. We
need to be able to confidently movethe way that we want to and manifest
the things in our lives that wewant to see. Solo travel is something
that I want for myself. Asmuch as I want to make memories with
(16:42):
friends and family, I want tomake memories with myself. That's very important
to me. So this book thatI found that I started skimming through again,
it's called Black Girls Take World,The Travel Bible for Black Women.
I want to read something that shesaid. She says, solo travel is
about creating opportunities on your own,creating opportunities on your own. So,
(17:07):
like I just mentioned, that wasthe whole point of me trying to put
myself out there as far as Igot brand new business cards for my platforms
made, and I had a goal. I'm like, okay, take fifty
with you. You need to comeback with a zero of those fifty.
Give all of those fifty out,because you just never know who you're gonna
be able to connect with, whoyou're gonna put put your card in the
(17:30):
hands of. So that was somethingthat I wanted to do, and that
was That's not something that I thatI always do. Usually when it comes
to my podcast and my blog andmy platforms being talked about, it is
because you know, it's it wasfound on social media or something like that.
(17:51):
But like I wanted to be intentionalabout like, hey, I you
know this is what I do.Here's my card. Like if you know
anybody interested in podcasts, or ifyou're interested in podcasts, or if you're
ever looking for any type if youdo, like hey, do you listen
to podcasts? You know what Imean? Like I wanted to be able
to have that type of networking conversation. So she said, it's about creating
opportunities on your own. It's aboutrelying on yourself to seek out incredible adventures
(18:17):
and make unforgettable memories that last farlonger than the photos on your camera.
Solo travel demands that you become yourown source of joy and inspiration. Your
own source of joy and inspiration,and that is exactly what I felt.
(18:40):
I was like so proud of myselfwhen I was just maneuvering and like just
doing things, you know, outsideof the connection that I made with my
new friend. It was like Iwas like, oh, you know,
okay, I'm doing this. I'mdoing this, you know, like I
built this itinerary for myself. Likeeverything was like I was just like okay,
like I could do this, youknow what I mean, Like this
is, this is this is thisis flowing so much easier than it would
(19:03):
be trying to like okay, youknow, gather the girl group chat and
be like okay, who wants todo this and then have it, you
know what I mean. Like itwas just so much easier to say,
this is what's happening, this iswhat I want to do with this time,
this is what I'm gonna do forthis day, this is what outset
I'm gonna wear for this event,this is you know what I mean.
Like it was so much fun andI felt so free to just like do
(19:30):
what I wanted to do, Andit's like, who's to say that is
wrong? You should want to alwaysexperience that be able to experience that type
of freedom in any of the thingsthat you want to do, even when
you're building your platforms. So we'retalking about I'm using solo travel, but
I want you to connect this towhatever it is that you need to connect
(19:52):
this with with what you're trying todo, whether that is you're trying to
build a business, a brand,your platform, just anything that you're trying
to do connected to that in thatway that you see fit. So she
goes on to say that solo traveldemands that you become your own source of
joy and inspiration. It forces growthand independence. It forces growth and independence.
(20:25):
It requires you to constantly show upfor and be comfortable with yourself.
Did y'all hear that It requires youto constantly show up for yourself, So
you have to depend on yourself.As I was moving through the city,
I had to depend on myself tomake sure I got from this place to
(20:47):
that place. That I was pushingmyself to do the things that I wanted
to do to network in the waythat I wanted to network. I didn't
have anybody like, okay, youknow what I mean. There was no
one else there to say, allright, you need to do this,
or you should do this, oryeah like yeah, yeah, yeah,
go do this. Like no.It was something that I had to show
(21:10):
up for myself. It was somethingthat I had to push myself to do.
She says that solo travel can befree and restorative, a chance to
hit the restart button or to bringyou back in touch with yourself. So
one of the things that I didwhen I was on my solo travel was
(21:33):
I went to a concert and Ihad listen. That was the first time
that I ever went to a concertby myself. And anybody that knows me
knows how much I absolutely love music, and like for everybody loves music,
right, but no, like,I actually really, really really love listening
to music. Music is therapeutic tome. Music does for me. It
(21:59):
it just takes me to a differentlevel. I love listening to music,
and so I love concerts, right, But I've always experienced concerts with someone
else. So for this to bethe first concert that I experienced on my
own, it was amazing. Ihad so much fun. The only thing
(22:30):
that I would change would be whereI sat, and I would be real
honest. In the beginning of meplanning this trip, I wasn't sure.
I doubt it myself. I'm gonnajust be real transparent. I doubt it
myself. I doubted whether or notI was gonna actually go through with it.
So when I purchased the tickets inthe beginning, I didn't purchase the
best tickets because I was like,listen, if I don't go, I'm
gonna have to be okay with throwingaway this money that I put into this
(22:53):
ticket. So I'm not trying toyou understand. But that was not only
was that self doubt. I thinkthat was a like subconsciously, I feel
like that was almost a way forme to talk myself out of going through
with it, because I was alreadythinking like, well, if I don't
go, I wouldn't have wasted likeso much money, you know what I
(23:18):
mean? Like, why am Ialready Why are we already talking about not
going and it hasn't even come upyet. We shouldn't be doing that.
We should be talking about all thereasons why we will go, why we
are gonna go. We should betalking positively about the experience, but I
was already like going into it,like, well, in case I don't
go, I didn't throw away somuch money. That is a negative mindset
(23:41):
to have when you're trying to manifestsomething that you really want to do.
Why would you ever do that?And that's exactly what I was doing.
So I kind of cheated myself outof a better experience, even though you
know, it was still it wasstill amazing. You know, the things
that I had, they were waybay. It felt like I was in
the movie theater from being honest,but so I still had an amazing experience.
(24:04):
The section that I was sitting in, everybody around me was so cool.
Everybody was vibing it was it wasreally cool. And actually, so
this the short story there was thatthere was someone else that was supposed to
go that didn't end up going,and she was actually able to get a
ticket next to me in a fewmonths back. She didn't end up going,
(24:30):
So there was a seat that wasnext to me, and a lady
actually came to the section and shesat down in the seat and I was
kind of looking like, like,lady, you in the wrong seat,
but and she cause she and Isaid something to her and I was like,
well, I was like, it'sbecause I you know, I kind
(24:52):
of wanted to know, was itlike a mistake on the ticket master or
something like that, And I,you know, I asked her about her
ticket and when she she pulled up, she was actually in the wrong section.
She was supposed to be a sectionover, but the same seat that
she was sitting in. So Iwas just explaining to her how that,
you know, I knew that thatseat actually wasn't her seat, but I
(25:14):
was like, listen, nobody's showingup to that seat. You can sit
there if you want it, causeyou know, I felt bad for having
to make her walk back through thecrowd and like, nobody you could just
sit there. Nobody's gonna you know, nobody's gonna sit there or whatever.
And she was so grateful, andshe was actually a very like we we
connected and we chatted and she wasjust a great spirit to have sitting next
(25:37):
to me during the concert, andit was just a good vibe, you
understand what I'm saying. So,like I said, you can't already go
into things and just and try totalk yourself out of it. So anything
that you're trying to do. Again, like I said, apply this how
you feel like you need to applyit. Anything that you're trying to do,
(26:02):
don't don't go into it that waybecause then then you know, then
this is what you're putting into theto the universe. You're putting that energy
out there, You're putting it outthere that there's a very likely chance that
you're not gonna show up to this, that you're gonna back out of it,
and you're gonna waste money and you'regonna you know what I mean,
you're gonna do all of the things. Don't do that. Don't be like
me. And I ended up goingand it was an amazing experience. And
(26:26):
now like I I am like superexcited about trying to find the next concert
that I'm going that I wanna goto. Like I'm already tryna look up
like when's the next like local concerts, you understand, because like I like,
I love live music. So Ijust say all that to say,
as I was reading these passages inthis in this book, I'm telling you
(26:48):
guys about she said, it's achance to hit the restart button or a
break to bring you back in touchwith yourself back in touch with yourself.
So as I've talked about it hereand there on on different entries, I've
(27:11):
talked about being on them on myhealing journey. I've talked about just overcoming
a lot of things with the thelast relationship that I was in, and
just you know, just trying toget myself together. And the last year
has been it had been kind oftough, you know, as far as
dealing with my emotions, because myemotions have been all over the place.
(27:33):
Honestly, They've been up, they'vebeen down, they've been leveled, they've
been weird, they've been like dark, they've been surprisingly very high. Like
they've just been all over the place. And so that was just me just
going on my journey. And soduring that they're there have been times where
(28:00):
I wasn't doing the things that Ilove to do. I wasn't doing I
wasn't I wasn't really showing up formyself in the ways that I wanted to
because I was so focused on thehealing and trying to feel better about where
I am now and get over thingsthat have happened and get over you know,
(28:26):
being in a different place in lifenow. I was so focused on
that that I wasn't like showing upfor myself and doing things for myself that
I wanted to do. My wholeidentity was about healing. And I read
something I've seen something recently. Ican't I can't quote it verbatim, but
it's said, to make sure thatyou don't make your whole identity about healing,
(28:48):
because when you do that, youforget to show up for yourself,
You forget to do the things thatyou still love to do. And while
healing is healing and heal, yourhealing journey is the time for you to
to reflect and to get past hurts, or to let go of anything that
you may feel likes a regret,to forgive if you need to forgive,
to ask for forgiveness if you needto ask for forgiveness, whatever, whatever.
(29:14):
You know, the the elements ofyour healing journey are like that's that,
but also like it. Where doesit say that in your healing journey
you can't have fun or where inyour where does it say in your healing
journey that you can't do the thingsthat you love to do or that you
would that you would normally do ifyou were not in a healing journey.
(29:37):
If if I wasn't on this journey, if things were different, if I
was in a different place, andif I were planning, if say,
if I were in a relationship andI were planning whatever for me and a
significant other, that would be whatI was doing. Why can't I do
those things while I'm in my healingjourney? If I love to go to
(30:02):
concerts, if I love to goto live shows, why am I not
planning those things while I'm on myhealing journey? Because this is how you
find your way back to yourself.This is how you show up for yourself.
This is how you this is howyou you love on yourself. This
is how you induce your self love, restore your self love. This is
(30:22):
how you do those things. Thisis how you stay and you don't lose
yourself to the healing. Don't forgetabout you in whatever journey it is that
you're on. And the end ofthis passage. Passage says that you may
(30:44):
return home with not just a deeperunderstanding of a place and its people,
but of who you are. Sowhen I think about that, I think
about Okay, I went to NewOrleans and I saw, like how the
culture of New Orleans is New NewOrleans has a great community of people.
They are like they connect with oneanother, like they like everybody's family there.
(31:07):
And I saw that in different placesthat I went to. Is just
like people just that are friendly,they connect like I'm from the South and
there's southern hospitality here. But likeit's not always like that. That's not
the experience that that I remember likebeing in certain places here, but when
I was there, it was justdifferent. It felt different. The energy
(31:27):
and the vibe was just very differentin some of the places that I was
in. So she says, youreturn home with not just a deeper understanding
of a place and it's people,but of who you are. So a
deeper understanding of who you are,and that is extremely valuable, and that's
(31:52):
valuable when you are on your healingjourney. That is something that is great
to say, Okay, oh oh, like this is this is this is
who I am, this is whoI am, this is what makes me
happy, this is what I need. So what I got out of it
(32:14):
is that I understood that at theend of that trip, I realized that
that was something that I needed,that was a part of this healing journey
that I needed. It was apiece of the puzzle. The puzzle isn't
completely put together, but it wasone of those pieces that needed to be
(32:38):
included. You understand what I'm saying. A puzzle is not complete without all
of its pieces. So I feellike if I would have never taken for
if I haven't, something would stillbe missing. So now I feel I
feel like I've experienced it, andnow I don't want more. Now I'm
(33:00):
hungry for it. Now I'm readyto Now now I'm ready to go again.
You understand how that just shifted?Do you see how that just changed?
Like whereas two weeks ago, Iwas twiddling my fingers and feeling a
certain type of way about doing something, and then fast forward two weeks after
that, and I'm I'm like,oh, where I'm going? Now,
(33:22):
where I'm going next? I'm ready, I'm ready to go. I'm ready
to do something else I'm trying tofigure out. Okay, I'm trying to
make some moves now. So nowI really got to get on the grind
because now I really need to levelup, and not now I really need
to because this is something that Iwant to include in my life, whether
(33:43):
I have somebody to experience it withor not. This is something that I
want to include in my life.This is something that is going to make
me happy. This is something thatis going to bring me peace. This
is something that is going to pushme outside of my comfort zone. And
(34:08):
then the last thing that I wannathat I wanna read from from this this
Black Girl's Take World, the TravelBible. I'm gonna put this these uh
this book in the show notes too, so if you're interested in this book.
But if she says, what wouldhappen if instead of waiting for permission
or allowing fear to dictate your decisions, you simply told yourself, Yep,
(34:31):
it's time for me to go.What would happen if you took a leap
of faith and booked that damn trip. I'm willing to bet you'd have the
time of your life. I findit so funny how that is w always
what everyone says that they had thetime of their life, And that is
exactly what I said. Oh,I had the time of my life.
(34:54):
It was amazing, y'all. AndI just wanna encourage the person that is
listening to this if you have notexperienced even if you do it just one
time. If you haven't experienced it, I strongly recommend you experience it,
even if you're not single, ifyou're in a relationship, If this is
(35:15):
something that you can talk with youknow, I don't know how that works
with you specifically and in your relationship, but if it is something that you
can experience, even if it isjust a short little weekend, be intentional
about it, discuss it with yourpartner, and just really try to enjoy
(35:44):
that experience and take it all inbecause it was amazing. We have to
go out and we have to conquerthe things that we want to do,
whether it is solo travel, thegoals that we have. We have to
go out there and we have topush ourselves to do it. And if
(36:07):
you have somebody that is pushing youto do the things, that's amazing.
That's great, right, That's abeautiful thing. If you have someone that
is out there pushing you, ifyou have a support system that is pushing
you to do the things that youwant to do. But if you don't,
sis if by chance you don't haveanybody to push you to do the
(36:28):
things that you want to do.Here I am I'm pushing you in this
moment, and I'm telling you todo it. Do those things, make
a list of all the things thatyou want to do, and push yourself
to do it. Time waits forno one. We are not getting younger.
We're getting more beautiful, and we'regetting more graceful, and we're getting
(36:50):
more wisdom, but we're not gettingyounger. There is nothing like the present.
Time. Use the PTO, usethe damn PTO take the time.
(37:15):
You have this gift. You havethis gift, and you have these goals,
and you have this passion, andyou have this desire and you have
(37:37):
this idea. Right so you haveall of these things, which is a
recipe for a beautiful, beautiful,beautiful success story. All of those things.
If you put all of those thingstogether, that is the recipe for
something great for you to experience.And you deserve to it. We deserve
(37:58):
to be able to experience those typeof things in life. Solo travel,
Like I said, I'm just usingit as an example, but I realized
how it that was just something thatthat I that I needed to experience.
(38:30):
But it's just like I mean,like you could fit anything in place of
that, anything that you want todo, anything that is a goal.
Anything that is a personal goal,you can fit that in place of solo
travel. If it's if you're notinterested in solo travel, there's still something
(38:52):
that you want to do. Andall that I'm saying is that it is
time for us to stop waiting,stop being fearful. And you know what,
it's okay, fear is. Youknow, it's a it's a it's
a human emotion. It's normal.You feel those things. You have an
anxiety about it, But you haveto be greater than the fear. You
(39:15):
have to be greater than the anxiety. And remember, we're not calling it
anxiety, We're calling it excitement.We're gonna relabel some of the things that
we have always like labeled kind oflike negatively. We're gonna relabel those things.
So we remember, we talked aboutfailure, and we're not gonna look
(39:36):
at failure as something negative. We'regonna look at failure as the data that
we collect. And so now we'regonna talk we're gonna relabel anxiety and we're
gonna label that as excitement. Right, So we're gonna so like remember,
we're gonna we're gonna relabel some things. Twenty twenty four is gonna be the
(39:57):
year of relabeling the negative. We'rerelabeling the negative. When you set out
to do something that you've that you'vewanted to do for a long time and
you finally actually do it, andyou've pushed yourself to do it, and
you you did it on your own, and you just y, like,
(40:20):
do you know how much of aconfidence booster that is? Do y'all know?
Like how confident I felt when Iwhat like, as I was moving
through like I had like I hadmy much together I did. I had
it to get like I was,you know, I was acting like I
was a a pro at this.I was like, yeah, like I'm
out here solo traveling. No oneis l like that was my first time.
(40:45):
But I was moving in my confidence. I was in my confidence bag,
deep in my confidence bag, andyou couldn't really tell me anything.
So as I'm prepping, and youknow, like it was just so different
to be getting ready, like gettingdressed and to be going to do things.
You know, whereas you're normally gettingdressed and you're either going you know,
getting ready to go and and linkup with your girls or you're linking
(41:07):
up on a day or you're linkingup with your significant other or whatever,
and it was like just linking upfor yourself, getting yourself together and getting
ready to go to wherever the dnext destination is. Just it's just about
you. It was like I walkeddifferent, Honey, I walked different.
I don't know what it was.I don't know what it was, but
(41:30):
I but I felt different. Iwalked different. Th it it it's a
confidence booster, cause I was like, I'd like I finally did something that
I really wanted to do and andand it's going better than I imagined it
to go. There were a coupleof yeah, like there were little like
little minor little things that came,like, you know, regular things like
(41:52):
I don't know, surprise fees withhotels, you know, just like regular
stuff that you can't even avoid ifyou were with a you know what I
mean, don't matter who you werewith, by yourself or just different things
like that. But that was likenothing in comparison to the fact that like,
(42:13):
here I am doing something that Ireally wanted to do in the way
that I wanted to do it designedfor and by me. It's a confidence
booster and you just can't wait onother people. That's another thing, like,
(42:37):
especially even with travel, you can'tcontinue to wait on other people to
do the things. So when itcomes down to traveling, like yeah,
like when you have always done thingswith your friend group or your family or
your you know what I mean,Like, you can't always just wait on
other people and work around other people'sschedules. How fair is that to you?
(43:00):
When we're talking about like just travel, How fair is that to you
to wait for someone else's schedule tobe in sync if you're able to experience
something right now, That's not fairto you, And no one should ever
feel a certain type of way aboutyou not waiting. So the same thing
applies to some of the things thatyou want to do. How fair are
(43:22):
you being to yourself that idea thatyou have, that gift that you have,
You're being selfish. You're being selfishby not sharing it with us because
of whatever it is that you that'smaking you hold that like, don't hold
back from us, we like,let us let us have it, let
us see what this idea is,because you never know, I might be
(43:42):
waiting on this this coaching business thatyou you know, like you've been twittered
like you've been sitting on for thepast few years and you haven't really like
took the leap out of like whatof like fear or like wonder what people
are gonna think, wondering who's gonnatake you serious? You don't You never
know who's waiting on that I mightbe waiting on exactly what you have to
(44:07):
offer. So like, you can'tbe selfish in holding that back from the
people that you are destined to reachbecause they're waiting. We're waiting. Look,
I'm looking at my watch like we'rewaiting on you were you at And
it's not fair. You're not beingfair to yourself. You're not being fair
(44:34):
to yourself. You are You're you'rein need of getting yourself out there.
It's time to it's time to goairplane mode on and I mean that very
(44:57):
figuratively. Airplane mode on when whenit's time to get ready to go.
When we're on that flight and it'stime for us to get ready to go,
what do the flight can tell usit's time for you to switch that
phone into airplane mode cause we're gettingready to take off. Airplane mode on
you get ready to take off,So you need to like get it together.
(45:21):
I'm here to push you, totell you to get it together again
in whatever it is. And Ihope that some of you listening to this.
I hope that solo travel is somethingthat you really want to do and
that you've just been like kind of, you know, holding yourself back from
it, and I hope that youlisten to this and you're inspired to do
(45:42):
it. I posted something on mysocial media about it, and on one
of my one of my posts andsomeone commented and she's like, she's like,
I love this for you. Shewas like, this is something that
she I think she was talking abouta concert or something and she was like,
listen. She was like, Iwant to go see Nicki Minaj and
you know what, I'm just going. I'm just going. She's like,
(46:04):
I'm not waiting on nobody. Shewas like like, like by me,
by me posting what I posted aboutthe concert. She saw that and she
was like, I'm just going,and that is what we're supposed to do.
You never know. And that wasjust a slight inspiration. So just
imagine like the gift that you're holdingonto. Imagine like the business idea,
(46:28):
you know what I mean. Likeshe was just inspired to go to a
concert, so just and and thatwas by me posting something on my social
media and it inspired someone else todo something that they really want to do
for themselves. And I'm like,you know what, all right? When
listen when she was like, Ihope I remember to text, She's like,
cause I'm going. She's like,I'm going, I'm tag me.
(46:52):
I'ma be looking. I'm gonna tryto remember when when is this concert?
Tag me? Because I want tosee that you went. Regardless. That
is the purpose. That is whatI'm trying to do. I am trying
to inspire you ladies to do somethingthat you really really want to do.
(47:17):
In our community of women supporting women, we need to push each other.
We need to push ourselves. Andwhen we push ourselves and we put ourselves
out put it out there that we'repushing ourselves, we inspire other other women
to push themselves. I have,I mean, listen, I had.
(47:47):
I had an amazing, an amazingtime you guys. So let's just talk
about cause I think I I wantedto include just a few little tips and
things, things that I'm that willcome in handy, which I don't really
(48:10):
know if I'm gonna have time tolike really get into the tips, like
I really wanted to get into thetips, but uh, some essentials for
traveling solo, and then I'm gonnaget to the bigger picture of of of
of essentials. A portable charger.You want to have a portable charger that
(48:30):
is charged up with you at alltimes. Listen, do you know how
much that portable charger came in handyfor me? And I actually had to
buy I didn't have one before,so I bought one f specifically for the
trip, and it came Oh mygod, it came in such handy.
(48:54):
Google Maps, Google Maps. Thiswas the first time that I ever used
Google Maps to walk a distance.Cause I don't know if you've ever gone
to New Orleans or if you know, but like there's a lot of walking
like around that, like Canal Street, like Bourbon Street, like down like
(49:15):
all of that. Like there's alot of walking. Google Maps walked me,
like literally walked me straight up toexactly where I was going. That
was the first time I had everused Google Maps for walking. So use
that another thing. A tripod thatwas something cause listen, when you're by
(49:52):
yourself, who's gonna take the pictures. You might happen to run into people
who will take the picture for you, but you not, you know what
I mean. Have a tripod thatyou could set your phone up on,
specifically the one you know that hasthe remote, and you could set up
and take your own pictures. Youdon't need you don't have to have somebody
else to take your pictures. Haveyour tripod. Do you know how normal
(50:15):
that is? Like we're in theage of and don't feel a certain type
of way of that. We're inthe age of the content creator. Listen.
I seen someone and on the backof her shirt, her shirt said
the content Lady or something like that, like she was letting people and guess
what she was walking around with herselfie stick recording and stuff. She was
(50:37):
letting people know listen, content isbeing recorded, Like I am the content
lady or what. I can't rememberexactly. I think it's a content lady
or something like that. But Ithought that was so cute, and I
think, like I think, likeI don't know, for me, that
would have made me feel a lotbetter about it, because at first I
was like, that's kind of weird, like kind of awkward, like being
(50:59):
out in like having your tripod andlike just doing all those other things.
But like, listen, we're inthe age of content creation almost, you
know what I mean. There's alot of content and it's normal. They
still like you see all these videoslike on Instagram and TikTok and things like
that, and you see like peopleare just like So you'll see people like
doing like the dance trends in themiddle of the store now and then some
(51:20):
people you're looking the background, peoplearen't even paying them attention. You see
people who are looking, but somepeople are just like walking, walking by
minding their business and sipping their waterbecause it is just so normal right now.
So take a tripod so that youcan get if you do want memories,
and you might not be you're listeningto this, you might not be
a content creator, but you stillmight want your memories. You don't have
(51:40):
to be a content creator to takea tripod with you to get the photos
that you want. So when youhave your tripods, you can get a
little bit more you know, creativewith how you're taking your pictures. Another
tip that I have is join travelgroups. I don't know how many of
(52:05):
you still have Facebook, but Facebookha is a is A is still an
amazing platform for groups. There aregreat, great, great travel groups.
But listen, even if it's notabout travel, like I said, there's
a group for everything, damn near. Use Facebook to join groups. If
you don't use Facebook really to likebe social anymore, use Facebook to find
(52:30):
groups that you want to join.So if like, for instance, for
solo travel, like that is howI connected with my new friend through a
so uh uh a a solo travelgroup. There are so many. You're
not the only person. I wasnot the only person who want you know
(52:52):
what I mean, who have themindset about solo travel and just feeling like
it's just you know, they justwanna do. Like, there are people
out there. There's a group forliterally everything that you might want to do,
even like down to the like locations. Just really get on there,
(53:15):
like utilize it. Find different differentblogs if you're you know, like for
me, like I was looking updifferent like black female solo travel blogs and
(53:38):
things like that because I wanted to, you know, I wanted to get
the insight from I wanted to getthe insight of what to expect people who've
experienced it. And one blog thatI found one website that I found that
(54:00):
I that I that I really enjoyed. It's called Hey Sierra, Heyesierra dot
com and she is a black femalesolo travel traveler and on her landing page,
it says, I help wanderers pursueextraordinary lives of freedom, exploration,
and empowerment through travel. So thatis what she does. So it's just
(54:23):
like y you know, like you'llfind the different things that that you're looking
for. And I'm gonna tell y'all, you know what else helped me to
keep me keep me calm, cooland collected. Yeah, yeah, Ashbaganda
(54:49):
really like helped me to get myselftogether. It helped me. It helped
me stay calm. I wasn't likeI was thinking thinking about what I needed
to be thinking about in that moment. So somebody who if you if you're
dealing with anxiety about things and listen, I'm not here to try to tell
(55:12):
anybody to take any type of stupplementor anything like that. Like I'm just
letting you know what helped me alwayshere's the disclaimer, Like you know,
make sure you research different things andtalk with your daughters or whatever whatever.
But like Oshogunna actually does work itworks for me and it helps me it
and and I was able to getgood sleep and actually enjoy my vacation.
(55:32):
I I took Aschoganna before I tookI s got on my flight, before
I like started the whole journey Oschogunna. Had me not given a damn.
It had me not given a damn, y'all. I was. And I
mean that in the best way,most positive, positive way, Like not
that I was like careless there.It's not a high feeling or anything like
(55:57):
that. If you've never taken ostro, it just it keeps you calm and
lets you just focus on what youneed to focus on, whatever it is
that you need to focus on inthat moment. So right now, like
I need to focus on this flightand I just need to enjoy this flight.
I need to sit back and Ijust need to like have my ear
Like I just need to enjoy thisflight. I don't need to be thinking
about the one hundred and one thingsthat I need to that I'm leaving behind.
(56:19):
Like no, just d it justkeeps you, It just keeps you
calm. It's natural supplement. AshraGanza really helped me to just and and
then at night when I was finallygetting some sleep, I slept amazing.
Oh my god. So I don'tknow, like I s I, I'm
a Marriott kind of girl. Yeah, elite status with Marriott pretty much.
(56:45):
And I love Marriott's beds. MMario's bed are have me wrapped up?
Marriott's beds keep trying to hold mecaptive. I slept so good on my
vacation. So yeah, Ostraganda wasanother little Uh that's another little tip that
(57:06):
I had. But y, youknow, find find the things that that
that are gonna work for you.And then I'm tryna think what other little
tips? What are the little tipsdid I You definitely want to make sure
(57:40):
that you you know, we needfor us, for black girls, we
need to have our protective styles,protective hair styles. Worrying about your hair
is not something that you wanna do. So whatever protective style is for you,
like, that's not that doesn't needto be something that you need to
be worried about, because you know, we like to have ourselves together.
Get a protective style. Get somethingthat is very very low maintenance that you
(58:02):
don't really have to do much withif you can avoid doing your edges.
Because I had a whole like bangout here. I didn't even have to
have I didn't even have to pullout no edge control. You know,
I was determined, I just needa little bit of water and a little
bit of foam to get my curlspopping, and I was good braids whatever
(58:27):
whatever. It is very cause likeit's like the you know, cause sometimes
just wish we'll stress out about ourhair if our hair is not the way
that we want it to be.And so the idea, like what I'm
trying to get you to see islike just like try to think about all
of the things that you could possiblyworry about when you're there, the things
that will frustrate you a little bit, because I know, like for me,
(58:49):
my hair will frustrate me because Iam one of those people who do
not like to do a whole lotof things to my hair when I'm going
somewhere. I want to have aslittle to do to my hair as possible.
So get a protective style. Figureout something that you won't have to
do much at all so you don'thave to worry about that and it cuts
back time. Don't be out theretrying to like you know what I'm saying,
(59:14):
Like don't everything that you can do. Don't go out there and like
like everything that you can do beforeyou go, do those things. If
you don't have time to get tothe nail salon, do your nails yourself
before you go. Don't be tryingto get out there and then tryn to
track down a nail salon. Like, don't try to like worry about all
(59:34):
of that stuff once you get there. That adds to the pressure, that
adds to the stress that takes awayfrom the vacation. So if you don't
have time to like get your nailsdone, listen, do your nails yourself.
I did my nails myself, butthe I woulda did my nails myself
anyway, because that's just something thatI do now. I do my nails
(59:57):
myself. I did go get apedicare because like that was a part of
my whole relaxation experience. But like, yeah, I did my nails myself.
Packing, start packing, I hadto listen packing for me one of
(01:00:17):
the like that was the part thatI did not like. Packing. Packing
for me is a stressful task becauseI I'm somebody who I overpack, and
so in my overpacking, like Ijust take so much unnecessary stuff, and
I'm trying to figure out a wayto get out of that. But I
take something because I feel like andthat's that overthinking. That's that overthinking.
(01:00:43):
I feel like I need to haveoptions. So I don't know, listen,
look at the time, you guys, we've already gone over well over
sixty minutes. I'm so sorry,y'all. Y'all might have to break this
down into two hunh. But soyeah, so that was my experience.
(01:01:10):
So I like, like I said, if it's not about solo travel,
I just want you guys to focuson the things that you really really want
to do and that you have justbeen putting off. Now is the time
we're in our get it done era. We need to get things done.
So two more things. I'm goingto give you, guys your journal prompt,
and I want to talk about mybook that i'm reading of the month
(01:01:34):
that I'm reading, and I wantto because I want to read something really
quick for you. The book thatI am focused on this month is called
What a Time to Be Alone,The Slum Flowers God to Why You Are
Already Enough. This is by ChadeiraIgiru, and I might have messed her
name up. I hope I didn't, but it is called What a Time
(01:01:54):
to be Alone? This is thisis a fabulous book. The format,
the colors, the way that thisbook is, y'all, it is an
amazing book. I will put thisin the show notes as well if I
don't forget to. But I feltlike this was a good book to read
as we're in within the solo series, and I'll get a little more into
(01:02:15):
this in the next entry, butI want to start with this first thing's
first passage, she says, firstthings first, allowing other people to be
time killers while running away from theresponsibility of loving ourselves happens to everyone,
but it should be avoided. Italways ends in emotional disaster. Nobody is
(01:02:37):
ever going to be able to feelyour U shaped hole for you. No,
not that whole, the gaping holewe all have inside that deeply craves
validation, love and comfort. Itjust won't work. You've got to be
(01:02:58):
fond of yourself enough to support yourselfemotionally, regardless of the intimate company of
someone else. Loving yourself does notmake you vain or conceded, as long
as you have respect for other people. The world loves to paint confidence in
a terrible light, because to beconfident means to be self sufficient, and
(01:03:23):
that is a threat to a worldbuilt on a multi billion dollar industry that
tells you that you aren't doing youright. Find your own sense of this
and the rest will follow. Andit closes by saying, save some love
for yourself. You deserve it.So I just wanted to preface that.
(01:03:52):
We'll circle back to that because we'realready over an hour, you guys,
So we'll come back to that inthe next entry. We'll talk about that
a little bit more. But Iwanted to kind of like lead into the
next entry with that. I wantedto leave you guys with that, but
(01:04:15):
that part just really stuck with me. It says the world loves to paint
confidence in a terrible light because tobe confident means to be self sufficient,
and that is a threat to aworld built on a multi billion dollar industry
that tells you that you aren't doingyou right and that you should be doing
this. You should invest in this, you should have this, you should
do that, you should be doingit this way, you should be doing
it this way. All at theprice of this, for five installments of
(01:04:43):
this, you can feel you knowwhat I'm saying, Like, but this
is about you, this is yourseason. We're in this solo seat.
This is about you. This isabout how you do you. That's the
point. Embrace what you are,Embrace what you have, Embrace what you
(01:05:08):
want to do. Save some lovefor yourself because you deserve it. Alright,
So let me close this out andgive you guys your journal prompt.
(01:05:34):
Your journal prompt for this week iswhat is it that really makes me shine?
And I want three things? Listthree things? What is it that
really makes me shine? List threethings? That is your journal prompt for
(01:05:54):
this week. I hope you guysenjoyed this entry. I wanna give a
very quick shout out to our UGCcontent creator sponsor UGC with Shatavia. Check
(01:06:18):
the show notes, you guys.If you're looking for UGC in any way,
please connect with her. All ofher information will be in the show
notes. She is a sponsor andofficial sponsor of the Thoughts of a Black
Queen podcast via UGC. And yeah, I guess that's my intro. Just
(01:06:43):
was like, girls, shut up, y'all see the technical d You see
how you have to just like handlethe show, the the production my intro
was like, alright, my introjust came on. Usually I have to
cue my own outro. Outra waslike, that's enough. Alright, y'all.
Until next time you guys, Ilove you, Peace and blessings,
Dear self, the sensation associated withbeing outside of my comfort zone is starting
to feel like home. I'm beginningto trust that sensation that I've always labeled
as anxiety. This sensation is actuallyexcitement towards the infinite possibilities that the universe
(00:45):
is slightly nudging me forward. Itrust you. Let's do this. You're
listening to the Thoughts of a blogpodcast A woman and I might Hey,
(01:11):
y'all, welcome back. Welcome backto another entry of Thoughts of a Black
Queen podcast. I am your host, Loree Renee, also known as Block
Queen. Welcome back to another entry, you guys. Oh my god,
I feel like it's been forever.I feel like it has been forever since
I came and dropped a new entry. I've had a lot going on,
(01:37):
y'all. I have been extremely busyso for the past if you're keeping up
with me, then you already knowso, like for the past few weeks,
I have been planning for my firstsolo travel trip, and hence you
can see by the title of thisentry, we're gonna get into all of
that and the details of that anda few but yeah, So I've been
(01:59):
really busy, just like preparing forall that and trying to make sure that
I had all my ducks in arow with going and just trying to get
like swallow that little bit of anxietythat I think I had about going on
a solo trip for the first time. But I'm good now I'm back,
and yeah, I had a really, really good time. So we're gonna
(02:23):
talk about that. We're gonna talkabout solo travel as it just relates to
where you are in life of thisis something that you have never done before.
This is more geared towards my ladiesthat have not experienced solo travel before
and maybe are a little bit nervousto do it, just you know,
have always had in their mind kindof like myself, that you needed to
(02:46):
have someone to go with you.And I think for me it was more
so just like the anxiety of likethe safety of it. But I gotta
tell you, guys, I hadan amazing time. So this is who
this this entry is going to encouragethose of you that have not. And
(03:07):
if you have gone on solo travel, then you are a step ahead of
us. You've already been there,done that, and there are people out
here who who now only go anddo solo travel, and they have made
just great memories and done great things. They've built platforms off of solo travel.
(03:28):
I wanna talk about this book thatI found. It's called Black Girls
Take World, the travel Bible forBlack Women. I wanna talk about that
and a couple of passages that Ifound in there. And we're gonna talk
about the book that we're gonna I'mreading this month that I wanna share with
you guys. So, uh,let's talk about the dose of self love
(03:52):
I poured into you, guys.I hope you guys caught that at the
beginning of the the entry. Let'stalk about that. Let's get the levels
together, and let's talk about that. So if you missed it, I'm
gonna read it again. It said, dear self, the sensation associated with
(04:13):
being outside of my comfort zone isstarting to feel like home. I'm beginning
to trust that sensation that I've mislabeledas anxiety. This sensation is actually excitement
towards the infinite possibilities that the universeis slightly nudging me toward. I trust
you. So this dose of selflove is talking about how what we might
(04:40):
think and label things as anxiety whichis something that I do often because I
have had to deal with anxiety foryears. It's talking about turning that into
looking at it from a different perspective. When you're trying to do new things,
and when you're trying to get outof your comfort zone, and when
you're preparing yourself to embark on anew journey, you will label that as
(05:06):
anxiety because you're nervous, right,because it's out of your comfort zone.
It's something that you make that you'venever done before. So that was kind
of like what I was just speakingabout. As far as solo travel.
It's something that you've you haven't donebefore, so you you label that.
You're like, oh my god,all of this anxiety. I even I
talked to my mom about it beforeI went. I was like, Mom,
(05:26):
I'm I'm so my anxiety is likegoing crazy, you know. But
in this passage, in this doseof self love, he's telling us to
change the perspective on it and labelit as it as excitement. Because see,
that's the thing about mindset. Whatyou tell yourself you are is what
you're gonna be. So if youtell yourself that this is anxiety, I'm
(05:48):
nervous I'm anxious, that is whatis gonna be. But if you tell
yourself, if you can find away to tell yourself that this is excitement
and that this is you know,I'm the the universe is put me into
a new level in my life,you can look at things differently and feel
better about embarking on it. AndI think that's what I had to do
before I took my solo trip.I had to just turn that there was
(06:11):
just a bit of a I don'tknow, it was like a knot in
my stomach that I was feeling,and I was just like, I don't
you know, this is just differentonly because it was, like I said,
it was out of my comfort zone. So I felt like I didn't
like, I didn't know, I'venever been to this place before. What's
it gonna be? Like, youknow, despite everything that I had already
(06:33):
done because I did a lot ofresearch and so so if you don't know,
I went to New Orleans. Iwent to New Orleans and I had
an amazing time. You guys,I'm gonna talk about that in a little
bit. But I had to thinkabout it. I mean even up until,
(06:55):
like I think the night before waswhen I was texting with my mom
about it that my mom was like, what is going on? She was
like, you should be excited.You should be you know, And she
said that, she was like,you should be excited. You are about
to do something very different. Youknow, you have gone through a lot
the past year. You have hadto you know, overcome a few things.
(07:16):
But you're getting ready to do somethingthat you wanted to do. You
had a desire to do it,you set the intention to do it,
and now the day has finally arrivedand you're actually gonna do it, So
you should be excited. And Ithought about it and I'm like, yeah,
like yeah, this is I wantedto do this. I wanted to
do this. And then I'm thinking, I'm like, you know, I'm
(07:41):
not gonna be I'm gonna be alone. But like I'm not gonna be alone.
You understand, like there's community that'sgonna be there. And by community
I mean all of the other peoplethat are traveling to this destination for the
same purpose as me. And forme, it was about being able to
network. It was it was aboutbeing able to put myself out there.
(08:03):
I set the intention to have Ihad some new business cards for the podcast
made so my I had a personalgoal to take those out there and give
give away fifty of those business cards. So that was something that I was
able to accomplish. I felt proudof myself about that, just putting myself
(08:28):
and and my brand and my platformout there and just doing something a little
bit different, and that's what Iwanted to do, So I was like,
why stop being you know? AndI think it also had a lot
to do with the fact that Ihad so many other things going on just
here at home. I think therewas a bit of a nerve that was
(08:50):
just being like, you know,tap danced upon knowing that I was going
on a vacation and I still hada few things that needed to be taken
care of at home but that Iwould have to deal with when I got
back. So I think that waskind of bothering me a little bit.
But outside of that, I justthought about it and I'm like, Yeah,
this is something that I have talkedabout and talked about and talked about,
(09:13):
and I can remember just being onsocial media and just like talking about
it and just asking different people like, oh, have you ever done this?
Have you ever? Do you know? And just hearing some people say
no, I've never done solo travel, and then I've heard, you know,
some people say, yeah, solotravel is the best thing to you
know, ever, like it's like, yeah, like I'll never forget that
(09:35):
I had the time of my life. Just hearing mixed things and just thinking
about the possibility that I would beable to share and experience with the people
that have not and I would beable to compare my experience, like in
a positive way with the people thathave and you know, everything that the
people that I heard say that theyhave done solo travel before, everything that
(09:56):
they said was exactly I mean II was literally saying the exact same things.
I was like, I had thetime of my life and I literally
did. And so if we canjust changed our perspective a little bit,
and I'm sorry, guys, reallysorry, I'm trying to get those levels
(10:20):
together, but yeah, if wecan just change the perspective a little bit
and think about how it's something thatwe've just wanted to do and how long
are you gonna wait to do thosethings? How long are you gonna wait?
If we're not learning anything from everythingthat we're seeing in social media,
(10:41):
if we're not getting anything from that. If we're not paying attention, we
should be understanding and we should becoming to terms with that. Time waits
for no one, Like here weare, we are mid mid actually past
mid twenty twenty four, right beforeyou know it, you guys, and
(11:03):
I hate to like skip above time, but before you know it, we'll
be in twenty twenty five. Solike, how much longer are we gonna
wait to do the things that wereally truly want to do if we are
if we have the means to doit. Obviously it wasn't there were other
factors for me personally as to whyI hadn't taken a solo trip thus far.
(11:26):
It wasn't just the fact that Iwas just like, oh, well,
I'm just waiting around, or youknow, there were other things,
but the majority of it was probablyjust like, okay, am I actually
gonna do it. But if youhave the means to do something, and
this goes for just anything, notjust solo travel, but just anything that
you have a desire to do,you need to begin the process in doing
(11:48):
it and just just do it.Because who's to say whether you will have
the means or the opportunity to beable to do those things again, you
understand what I'm saying, Like wewe can't take time for granted, we
can't take resources for granted. Wehave to We gotta move. We we
(12:15):
gotta move. So I wanna talkabout this book because, like I said,
l like before I started, wellnot before I started, but as
I've got closer to the time forme to actually take my trip, I
was doing research, you guys.I was on social media, finding like
(12:37):
solo travel groups. I was justlooking up different blogs and things for experiences
from black women and you know,where they went, how they felt,
things they did. You know,we're starting to use TikTok like we used
Google. Anything you want to search, you look it up on TikTok.
I found myself doing that a lot. So, like I I have been
(13:01):
like just looking up different things andjust trying to, you know, just
trying to get my mind together,just wrap my mind around the concept of
me doing something for myself. AndI literally didn't tell anybody in my family
until it was actually time for meto go. I told my mom a
(13:24):
couple of days before I went,and my son obviously I told him,
I told him first, but itwas something you know, didn't talk about
it with any friends or anything likethat because it was something that I needed
to process on my own. Ididn't want to hear the opinions of other
people. I didn't really want tonecessarily have people try to invite themselves to
(13:48):
go. I didn't want to hearanything negative about well, I don't know
if you should do that, orwhy are you gonna go somewhere by yourself?
I didn't want to hear the opinionsof things. I needed to be
able to process that. I neededto keep the same attitude and mindset that
I had about solo travel, andI needed to block I'm not saying that
that's what any of my friends orfamily would have done. I don't know
what they would have done. Ididn't want to find out. I wanted
(14:09):
to be able to experience it theway that I set the intention to experience
it was to do this by myselfand see what would happen, see what
connections I could make along the way. And I actually made a great connection
along the way. I connected withsomeone from a solo from one of the
(14:31):
solo travel groups that I joined,and she and I we communicated a couple
of weeks prior to actually leaving,and it turned out to be an amazing
and amazing experience. I had anamazing time with her, and I really
hope that it, you know,turns into hopefully like a lifelong friendship and
(14:52):
we'll be able to connect and justkind of make a make a thing of
it, hopefully, because we hada lot of things in common, and
and we just processed the idea ofsolo travel the same way we got to
know each other. But like Isaid, I didn't I I kept the
idea of solo travel to myself becauseespecially from from people in my personal circle,
(15:16):
because I wanted to keep the samemindset about I didn't want to second
guess myself. I didn't want toI I I did. I didn't want
to talk myself out of it.I didn't wanna scare myself out of it.
I didn't wanna let anybody's impact orjust anybody's anything, have any any
(15:37):
type of energy to shift my mindon it. And that's kind of how
we have to move with anything thatwe do, whether it is travel,
whether it is a new project likethe like they always say, you have
to move in silence. Sometimes thatis something that you have to if if
(15:58):
you it's and it's okay. Youdon't have to feel bad about keeping things
to yourself, keeping things that youwant to do for yourself. Listen,
everybody is out here doing things forthemselves. This is called life, This
is called being an adult, thisis called being a grown woman. We're
doing things, We're doing things forourselves. We are not gonna always have
(16:18):
you know, those people that wejust turn to all of the time to
make decisions, And that's not howwe should be able to move. We
need to be able to confidently movethe way that we want to and manifest
the things in our lives that wewant to see. Solo travel is something
that I want for myself. Asmuch as I want to make memories with
(16:42):
friends and family, I want tomake memories with myself. That's very important
to me. So this book thatI found that I started skimming through again,
it's called Black Girls Take World,The Travel Bible for Black Women.
I want to read something that shesaid. She says, solo travel is
about creating opportunities on your own,creating opportunities on your own. So,
(17:07):
like I just mentioned, that wasthe whole point of me trying to put
myself out there as far as Igot brand new business cards for my platforms
made, and I had a goal. I'm like, okay, take fifty
with you. You need to comeback with a zero of those fifty.
Give all of those fifty out,because you just never know who you're gonna
be able to connect with, whoyou're gonna put put your card in the
(17:30):
hands of. So that was somethingthat I wanted to do, and that
was That's not something that I thatI always do. Usually when it comes
to my podcast and my blog andmy platforms being talked about, it is
because you know, it's it wasfound on social media or something like that.
(17:51):
But like I wanted to be intentionalabout like, hey, I you
know this is what I do.Here's my card. Like if you know
anybody interested in podcasts, or ifyou're interested in podcasts, or if you're
ever looking for any type if youdo, like hey, do you listen
to podcasts? You know what Imean? Like I wanted to be able
to have that type of networking conversation. So she said, it's about creating
opportunities on your own. It's aboutrelying on yourself to seek out incredible adventures
(18:17):
and make unforgettable memories that last farlonger than the photos on your camera.
Solo travel demands that you become yourown source of joy and inspiration. Your
own source of joy and inspiration,and that is exactly what I felt.
(18:40):
I was like so proud of myselfwhen I was just maneuvering and like just
doing things, you know, outsideof the connection that I made with my
new friend. It was like Iwas like, oh, you know,
okay, I'm doing this. I'mdoing this, you know, like I
built this itinerary for myself. Likeeverything was like I was just like okay,
like I could do this, youknow what I mean, Like this
is, this is this is thisis flowing so much easier than it would
(19:03):
be trying to like okay, youknow, gather the girl group chat and
be like okay, who wants todo this and then have it, you
know what I mean. Like itwas just so much easier to say,
this is what's happening, this iswhat I want to do with this time,
this is what I'm gonna do forthis day, this is what outset
I'm gonna wear for this event,this is you know what I mean.
Like it was so much fun andI felt so free to just like do
(19:30):
what I wanted to do, Andit's like, who's to say that is
wrong? You should want to alwaysexperience that be able to experience that type
of freedom in any of the thingsthat you want to do, even when
you're building your platforms. So we'retalking about I'm using solo travel, but
I want you to connect this towhatever it is that you need to connect
(19:52):
this with with what you're trying todo, whether that is you're trying to
build a business, a brand,your platform, just anything that you're trying
to do connected to that in thatway that you see fit. So she
goes on to say that solo traveldemands that you become your own source of
joy and inspiration. It forces growthand independence. It forces growth and independence.
(20:25):
It requires you to constantly show upfor and be comfortable with yourself.
Did y'all hear that It requires youto constantly show up for yourself, So
you have to depend on yourself.As I was moving through the city,
I had to depend on myself tomake sure I got from this place to
(20:47):
that place. That I was pushingmyself to do the things that I wanted
to do to network in the waythat I wanted to network. I didn't
have anybody like, okay, youknow what I mean. There was no
one else there to say, allright, you need to do this,
or you should do this, oryeah like yeah, yeah, yeah,
go do this. Like no.It was something that I had to show
(21:10):
up for myself. It was somethingthat I had to push myself to do.
She says that solo travel can befree and restorative, a chance to
hit the restart button or to bringyou back in touch with yourself. So
one of the things that I didwhen I was on my solo travel was
(21:33):
I went to a concert and Ihad listen. That was the first time
that I ever went to a concertby myself. And anybody that knows me
knows how much I absolutely love music, and like for everybody loves music,
right, but no, like,I actually really, really really love listening
to music. Music is therapeutic tome. Music does for me. It
(21:59):
it just takes me to a differentlevel. I love listening to music,
and so I love concerts, right, But I've always experienced concerts with someone
else. So for this to bethe first concert that I experienced on my
own, it was amazing. Ihad so much fun. The only thing
(22:30):
that I would change would be whereI sat, and I would be real
honest. In the beginning of meplanning this trip, I wasn't sure.
I doubt it myself. I'm gonnajust be real transparent. I doubt it
myself. I doubted whether or notI was gonna actually go through with it.
So when I purchased the tickets inthe beginning, I didn't purchase the
best tickets because I was like,listen, if I don't go, I'm
gonna have to be okay with throwingaway this money that I put into this
(22:53):
ticket. So I'm not trying toyou understand. But that was not only
was that self doubt. I thinkthat was a like subconsciously, I feel
like that was almost a way forme to talk myself out of going through
with it, because I was alreadythinking like, well, if I don't
go, I wouldn't have wasted likeso much money, you know what I
(23:18):
mean? Like, why am Ialready Why are we already talking about not
going and it hasn't even come upyet. We shouldn't be doing that.
We should be talking about all thereasons why we will go, why we
are gonna go. We should betalking positively about the experience, but I
was already like going into it,like, well, in case I don't
go, I didn't throw away somuch money. That is a negative mindset
(23:41):
to have when you're trying to manifestsomething that you really want to do.
Why would you ever do that?And that's exactly what I was doing.
So I kind of cheated myself outof a better experience, even though you
know, it was still it wasstill amazing. You know, the things
that I had, they were waybay. It felt like I was in
the movie theater from being honest,but so I still had an amazing experience.
(24:04):
The section that I was sitting in, everybody around me was so cool.
Everybody was vibing it was it wasreally cool. And actually, so
this the short story there was thatthere was someone else that was supposed to
go that didn't end up going,and she was actually able to get a
ticket next to me in a fewmonths back. She didn't end up going,
(24:30):
So there was a seat that wasnext to me, and a lady
actually came to the section and shesat down in the seat and I was
kind of looking like, like,lady, you in the wrong seat,
but and she cause she and Isaid something to her and I was like,
well, I was like, it'sbecause I you know, I kind
(24:52):
of wanted to know, was itlike a mistake on the ticket master or
something like that, And I,you know, I asked her about her
ticket and when she she pulled up, she was actually in the wrong section.
She was supposed to be a sectionover, but the same seat that
she was sitting in. So Iwas just explaining to her how that,
you know, I knew that thatseat actually wasn't her seat, but I
(25:14):
was like, listen, nobody's showingup to that seat. You can sit
there if you want it, causeyou know, I felt bad for having
to make her walk back through thecrowd and like, nobody you could just
sit there. Nobody's gonna you know, nobody's gonna sit there or whatever.
And she was so grateful, andshe was actually a very like we we
connected and we chatted and she wasjust a great spirit to have sitting next
(25:37):
to me during the concert, andit was just a good vibe, you
understand what I'm saying. So,like I said, you can't already go
into things and just and try totalk yourself out of it. So anything
that you're trying to do. Again, like I said, apply this how
you feel like you need to applyit. Anything that you're trying to do,
(26:02):
don't don't go into it that waybecause then then you know, then
this is what you're putting into theto the universe. You're putting that energy
out there, You're putting it outthere that there's a very likely chance that
you're not gonna show up to this, that you're gonna back out of it,
and you're gonna waste money and you'regonna you know what I mean,
you're gonna do all of the things. Don't do that. Don't be like
me. And I ended up goingand it was an amazing experience. And
(26:26):
now like I I am like superexcited about trying to find the next concert
that I'm going that I wanna goto. Like I'm already tryna look up
like when's the next like local concerts, you understand, because like I like,
I love live music. So Ijust say all that to say,
as I was reading these passages inthis in this book, I'm telling you
(26:48):
guys about she said, it's achance to hit the restart button or a
break to bring you back in touchwith yourself back in touch with yourself.
So as I've talked about it hereand there on on different entries, I've
(27:11):
talked about being on them on myhealing journey. I've talked about just overcoming
a lot of things with the thelast relationship that I was in, and
just you know, just trying toget myself together. And the last year
has been it had been kind oftough, you know, as far as
dealing with my emotions, because myemotions have been all over the place.
(27:33):
Honestly, They've been up, they'vebeen down, they've been leveled, they've
been weird, they've been like dark, they've been surprisingly very high. Like
they've just been all over the place. And so that was just me just
going on my journey. And soduring that they're there have been times where
(28:00):
I wasn't doing the things that Ilove to do. I wasn't doing I
wasn't I wasn't really showing up formyself in the ways that I wanted to
because I was so focused on thehealing and trying to feel better about where
I am now and get over thingsthat have happened and get over you know,
(28:26):
being in a different place in lifenow. I was so focused on
that that I wasn't like showing upfor myself and doing things for myself that
I wanted to do. My wholeidentity was about healing. And I read
something I've seen something recently. Ican't I can't quote it verbatim, but
it's said, to make sure thatyou don't make your whole identity about healing,
(28:48):
because when you do that, youforget to show up for yourself,
You forget to do the things thatyou still love to do. And while
healing is healing and heal, yourhealing journey is the time for you to
to reflect and to get past hurts, or to let go of anything that
you may feel likes a regret,to forgive if you need to forgive,
to ask for forgiveness if you needto ask for forgiveness, whatever, whatever.
(29:14):
You know, the the elements ofyour healing journey are like that's that,
but also like it. Where doesit say that in your healing journey
you can't have fun or where inyour where does it say in your healing
journey that you can't do the thingsthat you love to do or that you
would that you would normally do ifyou were not in a healing journey.
(29:37):
If if I wasn't on this journey, if things were different, if I
was in a different place, andif I were planning, if say,
if I were in a relationship andI were planning whatever for me and a
significant other, that would be whatI was doing. Why can't I do
those things while I'm in my healingjourney? If I love to go to
(30:02):
concerts, if I love to goto live shows, why am I not
planning those things while I'm on myhealing journey? Because this is how you
find your way back to yourself.This is how you show up for yourself.
This is how you this is howyou you love on yourself. This
is how you induce your self love, restore your self love. This is
(30:22):
how you do those things. Thisis how you stay and you don't lose
yourself to the healing. Don't forgetabout you in whatever journey it is that
you're on. And the end ofthis passage. Passage says that you may
(30:44):
return home with not just a deeperunderstanding of a place and its people,
but of who you are. Sowhen I think about that, I think
about Okay, I went to NewOrleans and I saw, like how the
culture of New Orleans is New NewOrleans has a great community of people.
They are like they connect with oneanother, like they like everybody's family there.
(31:07):
And I saw that in different placesthat I went to. Is just
like people just that are friendly,they connect like I'm from the South and
there's southern hospitality here. But likeit's not always like that. That's not
the experience that that I remember likebeing in certain places here, but when
I was there, it was justdifferent. It felt different. The energy
(31:27):
and the vibe was just very differentin some of the places that I was
in. So she says, youreturn home with not just a deeper understanding
of a place and it's people,but of who you are. So a
deeper understanding of who you are,and that is extremely valuable, and that's
(31:52):
valuable when you are on your healingjourney. That is something that is great
to say, Okay, oh oh, like this is this is this is
who I am, this is whoI am, this is what makes me
happy, this is what I need. So what I got out of it
(32:14):
is that I understood that at theend of that trip, I realized that
that was something that I needed,that was a part of this healing journey
that I needed. It was apiece of the puzzle. The puzzle isn't
completely put together, but it wasone of those pieces that needed to be
(32:38):
included. You understand what I'm saying. A puzzle is not complete without all
of its pieces. So I feellike if I would have never taken for
if I haven't, something would stillbe missing. So now I feel I
feel like I've experienced it, andnow I don't want more. Now I'm
(33:00):
hungry for it. Now I'm readyto Now now I'm ready to go again.
You understand how that just shifted?Do you see how that just changed?
Like whereas two weeks ago, Iwas twiddling my fingers and feeling a
certain type of way about doing something, and then fast forward two weeks after
that, and I'm I'm like,oh, where I'm going? Now,
(33:22):
where I'm going next? I'm ready, I'm ready to go. I'm ready
to do something else I'm trying tofigure out. Okay, I'm trying to
make some moves now. So nowI really got to get on the grind
because now I really need to levelup, and not now I really need
to because this is something that Iwant to include in my life, whether
(33:43):
I have somebody to experience it withor not. This is something that I
want to include in my life.This is something that is going to make
me happy. This is something thatis going to bring me peace. This
is something that is going to pushme outside of my comfort zone. And
(34:08):
then the last thing that I wannathat I wanna read from from this this
Black Girl's Take World, the TravelBible. I'm gonna put this these uh
this book in the show notes too, so if you're interested in this book.
But if she says, what wouldhappen if instead of waiting for permission
or allowing fear to dictate your decisions, you simply told yourself, Yep,
(34:31):
it's time for me to go.What would happen if you took a leap
of faith and booked that damn trip. I'm willing to bet you'd have the
time of your life. I findit so funny how that is w always
what everyone says that they had thetime of their life, And that is
exactly what I said. Oh,I had the time of my life.
(34:54):
It was amazing, y'all. AndI just wanna encourage the person that is
listening to this if you have notexperienced even if you do it just one
time. If you haven't experienced it, I strongly recommend you experience it,
even if you're not single, ifyou're in a relationship, If this is
(35:15):
something that you can talk with youknow, I don't know how that works
with you specifically and in your relationship, but if it is something that you
can experience, even if it isjust a short little weekend, be intentional
about it, discuss it with yourpartner, and just really try to enjoy
(35:44):
that experience and take it all inbecause it was amazing. We have to
go out and we have to conquerthe things that we want to do,
whether it is solo travel, thegoals that we have. We have to
go out there and we have topush ourselves to do it. And if
(36:07):
you have somebody that is pushing youto do the things, that's amazing.
That's great, right, That's abeautiful thing. If you have someone that
is out there pushing you, ifyou have a support system that is pushing
you to do the things that youwant to do. But if you don't,
sis if by chance you don't haveanybody to push you to do the
(36:28):
things that you want to do.Here I am I'm pushing you in this
moment, and I'm telling you todo it. Do those things, make
a list of all the things thatyou want to do, and push yourself
to do it. Time waits forno one. We are not getting younger.
We're getting more beautiful, and we'regetting more graceful, and we're getting
(36:50):
more wisdom, but we're not gettingyounger. There is nothing like the present.
Time. Use the PTO, usethe damn PTO take the time.
(37:15):
You have this gift. You havethis gift, and you have these goals,
and you have this passion, andyou have this desire and you have
(37:37):
this idea. Right so you haveall of these things, which is a
recipe for a beautiful, beautiful,beautiful success story. All of those things.
If you put all of those thingstogether, that is the recipe for
something great for you to experience.And you deserve to it. We deserve
(37:58):
to be able to experience those typeof things in life. Solo travel,
Like I said, I'm just usingit as an example, but I realized
how it that was just something thatthat I that I needed to experience.
(38:30):
But it's just like I mean,like you could fit anything in place of
that, anything that you want todo, anything that is a goal.
Anything that is a personal goal,you can fit that in place of solo
travel. If it's if you're notinterested in solo travel, there's still something
(38:52):
that you want to do. Andall that I'm saying is that it is
time for us to stop waiting,stop being fearful. And you know what,
it's okay, fear is. Youknow, it's a it's a it's
a human emotion. It's normal.You feel those things. You have an
anxiety about it, But you haveto be greater than the fear. You
(39:15):
have to be greater than the anxiety. And remember, we're not calling it
anxiety, We're calling it excitement.We're gonna relabel some of the things that
we have always like labeled kind oflike negatively. We're gonna relabel those things.
So we remember, we talked aboutfailure, and we're not gonna look
(39:36):
at failure as something negative. We'regonna look at failure as the data that
we collect. And so now we'regonna talk we're gonna relabel anxiety and we're
gonna label that as excitement. Right, So we're gonna so like remember,
we're gonna we're gonna relabel some things. Twenty twenty four is gonna be the
(39:57):
year of relabeling the negative. We'rerelabeling the negative. When you set out
to do something that you've that you'vewanted to do for a long time and
you finally actually do it, andyou've pushed yourself to do it, and
you you did it on your own, and you just y, like,
(40:20):
do you know how much of aconfidence booster that is? Do y'all know?
Like how confident I felt when Iwhat like, as I was moving
through like I had like I hadmy much together I did. I had
it to get like I was,you know, I was acting like I
was a a pro at this.I was like, yeah, like I'm
out here solo traveling. No oneis l like that was my first time.
(40:45):
But I was moving in my confidence. I was in my confidence bag,
deep in my confidence bag, andyou couldn't really tell me anything.
So as I'm prepping, and youknow, like it was just so different
to be getting ready, like gettingdressed and to be going to do things.
You know, whereas you're normally gettingdressed and you're either going you know,
getting ready to go and and linkup with your girls or you're linking
(41:07):
up on a day or you're linkingup with your significant other or whatever,
and it was like just linking upfor yourself, getting yourself together and getting
ready to go to wherever the dnext destination is. Just it's just about
you. It was like I walkeddifferent, Honey, I walked different.
I don't know what it was.I don't know what it was, but
(41:30):
I but I felt different. Iwalked different. Th it it it's a
confidence booster, cause I was like, I'd like I finally did something that
I really wanted to do and andand it's going better than I imagined it
to go. There were a coupleof yeah, like there were little like
little minor little things that came,like, you know, regular things like
(41:52):
I don't know, surprise fees withhotels, you know, just like regular
stuff that you can't even avoid ifyou were with a you know what I
mean, don't matter who you werewith, by yourself or just different things
like that. But that was likenothing in comparison to the fact that like,
(42:13):
here I am doing something that Ireally wanted to do in the way
that I wanted to do it designedfor and by me. It's a confidence
booster and you just can't wait onother people. That's another thing, like,
(42:37):
especially even with travel, you can'tcontinue to wait on other people to
do the things. So when itcomes down to traveling, like yeah,
like when you have always done thingswith your friend group or your family or
your you know what I mean,Like, you can't always just wait on
other people and work around other people'sschedules. How fair is that to you?
(43:00):
When we're talking about like just travel, How fair is that to you
to wait for someone else's schedule tobe in sync if you're able to experience
something right now, That's not fairto you, And no one should ever
feel a certain type of way aboutyou not waiting. So the same thing
applies to some of the things thatyou want to do. How fair are
(43:22):
you being to yourself that idea thatyou have, that gift that you have,
You're being selfish. You're being selfishby not sharing it with us because
of whatever it is that you that'smaking you hold that like, don't hold
back from us, we like,let us let us have it, let
us see what this idea is,because you never know, I might be
(43:42):
waiting on this this coaching business thatyou you know, like you've been twittered
like you've been sitting on for thepast few years and you haven't really like
took the leap out of like whatof like fear or like wonder what people
are gonna think, wondering who's gonnatake you serious? You don't You never
know who's waiting on that I mightbe waiting on exactly what you have to
(44:07):
offer. So like, you can'tbe selfish in holding that back from the
people that you are destined to reachbecause they're waiting. We're waiting. Look,
I'm looking at my watch like we'rewaiting on you were you at And
it's not fair. You're not beingfair to yourself. You're not being fair
(44:34):
to yourself. You are You're you'rein need of getting yourself out there.
It's time to it's time to goairplane mode on and I mean that very
(44:57):
figuratively. Airplane mode on when whenit's time to get ready to go.
When we're on that flight and it'stime for us to get ready to go,
what do the flight can tell usit's time for you to switch that
phone into airplane mode cause we're gettingready to take off. Airplane mode on
you get ready to take off,So you need to like get it together.
(45:21):
I'm here to push you, totell you to get it together again
in whatever it is. And Ihope that some of you listening to this.
I hope that solo travel is somethingthat you really want to do and
that you've just been like kind of, you know, holding yourself back from
it, and I hope that youlisten to this and you're inspired to do
(45:42):
it. I posted something on mysocial media about it, and on one
of my one of my posts andsomeone commented and she's like, she's like,
I love this for you. Shewas like, this is something that
she I think she was talking abouta concert or something and she was like,
listen. She was like, Iwant to go see Nicki Minaj and
you know what, I'm just going. I'm just going. She's like,
(46:04):
I'm not waiting on nobody. Shewas like like, like by me,
by me posting what I posted aboutthe concert. She saw that and she
was like, I'm just going,and that is what we're supposed to do.
You never know. And that wasjust a slight inspiration. So just
imagine like the gift that you're holdingonto. Imagine like the business idea,
(46:28):
you know what I mean. Likeshe was just inspired to go to a
concert, so just and and thatwas by me posting something on my social
media and it inspired someone else todo something that they really want to do
for themselves. And I'm like,you know what, all right? When
listen when she was like, Ihope I remember to text, She's like,
cause I'm going. She's like,I'm going, I'm tag me.
(46:52):
I'ma be looking. I'm gonna tryto remember when when is this concert?
Tag me? Because I want tosee that you went. Regardless. That
is the purpose. That is whatI'm trying to do. I am trying
to inspire you ladies to do somethingthat you really really want to do.
(47:17):
In our community of women supporting women, we need to push each other.
We need to push ourselves. Andwhen we push ourselves and we put ourselves
out put it out there that we'repushing ourselves, we inspire other other women
to push themselves. I have,I mean, listen, I had.
(47:47):
I had an amazing, an amazingtime you guys. So let's just talk
about cause I think I I wantedto include just a few little tips and
things, things that I'm that willcome in handy, which I don't really
(48:10):
know if I'm gonna have time tolike really get into the tips, like
I really wanted to get into thetips, but uh, some essentials for
traveling solo, and then I'm gonnaget to the bigger picture of of of
of essentials. A portable charger.You want to have a portable charger that
(48:30):
is charged up with you at alltimes. Listen, do you know how
much that portable charger came in handyfor me? And I actually had to
buy I didn't have one before,so I bought one f specifically for the
trip, and it came Oh mygod, it came in such handy.
(48:54):
Google Maps, Google Maps. Thiswas the first time that I ever used
Google Maps to walk a distance.Cause I don't know if you've ever gone
to New Orleans or if you know, but like there's a lot of walking
like around that, like Canal Street, like Bourbon Street, like down like
(49:15):
all of that. Like there's alot of walking. Google Maps walked me,
like literally walked me straight up toexactly where I was going. That
was the first time I had everused Google Maps for walking. So use
that another thing. A tripod thatwas something cause listen, when you're by
(49:52):
yourself, who's gonna take the pictures. You might happen to run into people
who will take the picture for you, but you not, you know what
I mean. Have a tripod thatyou could set your phone up on,
specifically the one you know that hasthe remote, and you could set up
and take your own pictures. Youdon't need you don't have to have somebody
else to take your pictures. Haveyour tripod. Do you know how normal
(50:15):
that is? Like we're in theage of and don't feel a certain type
of way of that. We're inthe age of the content creator. Listen.
I seen someone and on the backof her shirt, her shirt said
the content Lady or something like that, like she was letting people and guess
what she was walking around with herselfie stick recording and stuff. She was
(50:37):
letting people know listen, content isbeing recorded, Like I am the content
lady or what. I can't rememberexactly. I think it's a content lady
or something like that. But Ithought that was so cute, and I
think, like I think, likeI don't know, for me, that
would have made me feel a lotbetter about it, because at first I
was like, that's kind of weird, like kind of awkward, like being
(50:59):
out in like having your tripod andlike just doing all those other things.
But like, listen, we're inthe age of content creation almost, you
know what I mean. There's alot of content and it's normal. They
still like you see all these videoslike on Instagram and TikTok and things like
that, and you see like peopleare just like So you'll see people like
doing like the dance trends in themiddle of the store now and then some
(51:20):
people you're looking the background, peoplearen't even paying them attention. You see
people who are looking, but somepeople are just like walking, walking by
minding their business and sipping their waterbecause it is just so normal right now.
So take a tripod so that youcan get if you do want memories,
and you might not be you're listeningto this, you might not be
a content creator, but you stillmight want your memories. You don't have
(51:40):
to be a content creator to takea tripod with you to get the photos
that you want. So when youhave your tripods, you can get a
little bit more you know, creativewith how you're taking your pictures. Another
tip that I have is join travelgroups. I don't know how many of
(52:05):
you still have Facebook, but Facebookha is a is A is still an
amazing platform for groups. There aregreat, great, great travel groups.
But listen, even if it's notabout travel, like I said, there's
a group for everything, damn near. Use Facebook to join groups. If
you don't use Facebook really to likebe social anymore, use Facebook to find
(52:30):
groups that you want to join.So if like, for instance, for
solo travel, like that is howI connected with my new friend through a
so uh uh a a solo travelgroup. There are so many. You're
not the only person. I wasnot the only person who want you know
(52:52):
what I mean, who have themindset about solo travel and just feeling like
it's just you know, they justwanna do. Like, there are people
out there. There's a group forliterally everything that you might want to do,
even like down to the like locations. Just really get on there,
(53:15):
like utilize it. Find different differentblogs if you're you know, like for
me, like I was looking updifferent like black female solo travel blogs and
(53:38):
things like that because I wanted to, you know, I wanted to get
the insight from I wanted to getthe insight of what to expect people who've
experienced it. And one blog thatI found one website that I found that
(54:00):
I that I that I really enjoyed. It's called Hey Sierra, Heyesierra dot
com and she is a black femalesolo travel traveler and on her landing page,
it says, I help wanderers pursueextraordinary lives of freedom, exploration,
and empowerment through travel. So thatis what she does. So it's just
(54:23):
like y you know, like you'llfind the different things that that you're looking
for. And I'm gonna tell y'all, you know what else helped me to
keep me keep me calm, cooland collected. Yeah, yeah, Ashbaganda
(54:49):
really like helped me to get myselftogether. It helped me. It helped
me stay calm. I wasn't likeI was thinking thinking about what I needed
to be thinking about in that moment. So somebody who if you if you're
dealing with anxiety about things and listen, I'm not here to try to tell
(55:12):
anybody to take any type of stupplementor anything like that. Like I'm just
letting you know what helped me alwayshere's the disclaimer, Like you know,
make sure you research different things andtalk with your daughters or whatever whatever.
But like Oshogunna actually does work itworks for me and it helps me it
and and I was able to getgood sleep and actually enjoy my vacation.
(55:32):
I I took Aschoganna before I tookI s got on my flight, before
I like started the whole journey Oschogunna. Had me not given a damn.
It had me not given a damn, y'all. I was. And I
mean that in the best way,most positive, positive way, Like not
that I was like careless there.It's not a high feeling or anything like
(55:57):
that. If you've never taken ostro, it just it keeps you calm and
lets you just focus on what youneed to focus on, whatever it is
that you need to focus on inthat moment. So right now, like
I need to focus on this flightand I just need to enjoy this flight.
I need to sit back and Ijust need to like have my ear
Like I just need to enjoy thisflight. I don't need to be thinking
about the one hundred and one thingsthat I need to that I'm leaving behind.
(56:19):
Like no, just d it justkeeps you, It just keeps you
calm. It's natural supplement. AshraGanza really helped me to just and and
then at night when I was finallygetting some sleep, I slept amazing.
Oh my god. So I don'tknow, like I s I, I'm
a Marriott kind of girl. Yeah, elite status with Marriott pretty much.
(56:45):
And I love Marriott's beds. MMario's bed are have me wrapped up?
Marriott's beds keep trying to hold mecaptive. I slept so good on my
vacation. So yeah, Ostraganda wasanother little Uh that's another little tip that
(57:06):
I had. But y, youknow, find find the things that that
that are gonna work for you.And then I'm tryna think what other little
tips? What are the little tipsdid I You definitely want to make sure
(57:40):
that you you know, we needfor us, for black girls, we
need to have our protective styles,protective hair styles. Worrying about your hair
is not something that you wanna do. So whatever protective style is for you,
like, that's not that doesn't needto be something that you need to
be worried about, because you know, we like to have ourselves together.
Get a protective style. Get somethingthat is very very low maintenance that you
(58:02):
don't really have to do much withif you can avoid doing your edges.
Because I had a whole like bangout here. I didn't even have to
have I didn't even have to pullout no edge control. You know,
I was determined, I just needa little bit of water and a little
bit of foam to get my curlspopping, and I was good braids whatever
(58:27):
whatever. It is very cause likeit's like the you know, cause sometimes
just wish we'll stress out about ourhair if our hair is not the way
that we want it to be.And so the idea, like what I'm
trying to get you to see islike just like try to think about all
of the things that you could possiblyworry about when you're there, the things
that will frustrate you a little bit, because I know, like for me,
(58:49):
my hair will frustrate me because Iam one of those people who do
not like to do a whole lotof things to my hair when I'm going
somewhere. I want to have aslittle to do to my hair as possible.
So get a protective style. Figureout something that you won't have to
do much at all so you don'thave to worry about that and it cuts
back time. Don't be out theretrying to like you know what I'm saying,
(59:14):
Like don't everything that you can do. Don't go out there and like
like everything that you can do beforeyou go, do those things. If
you don't have time to get tothe nail salon, do your nails yourself
before you go. Don't be tryingto get out there and then tryn to
track down a nail salon. Like, don't try to like worry about all
(59:34):
of that stuff once you get there. That adds to the pressure, that
adds to the stress that takes awayfrom the vacation. So if you don't
have time to like get your nailsdone, listen, do your nails yourself.
I did my nails myself, butthe I woulda did my nails myself
anyway, because that's just something thatI do now. I do my nails
(59:57):
myself. I did go get apedicare because like that was a part of
my whole relaxation experience. But like, yeah, I did my nails myself.
Packing, start packing, I hadto listen packing for me one of
(01:00:17):
the like that was the part thatI did not like. Packing. Packing
for me is a stressful task becauseI I'm somebody who I overpack, and
so in my overpacking, like Ijust take so much unnecessary stuff, and
I'm trying to figure out a wayto get out of that. But I
take something because I feel like andthat's that overthinking. That's that overthinking.
(01:00:43):
I feel like I need to haveoptions. So I don't know, listen,
look at the time, you guys, we've already gone over well over
sixty minutes. I'm so sorry,y'all. Y'all might have to break this
down into two hunh. But soyeah, so that was my experience.
(01:01:10):
So I like, like I said, if it's not about solo travel,
I just want you guys to focuson the things that you really really want
to do and that you have justbeen putting off. Now is the time
we're in our get it done era. We need to get things done.
So two more things. I'm goingto give you, guys your journal prompt,
and I want to talk about mybook that i'm reading of the month
(01:01:34):
that I'm reading, and I wantto because I want to read something really
quick for you. The book thatI am focused on this month is called
What a Time to Be Alone,The Slum Flowers God to Why You Are
Already Enough. This is by ChadeiraIgiru, and I might have messed her
name up. I hope I didn't, but it is called What a Time
(01:01:54):
to be Alone? This is thisis a fabulous book. The format,
the colors, the way that thisbook is, y'all, it is an
amazing book. I will put thisin the show notes as well if I
don't forget to. But I feltlike this was a good book to read
as we're in within the solo series, and I'll get a little more into
(01:02:15):
this in the next entry, butI want to start with this first thing's
first passage, she says, firstthings first, allowing other people to be
time killers while running away from theresponsibility of loving ourselves happens to everyone,
but it should be avoided. Italways ends in emotional disaster. Nobody is
(01:02:37):
ever going to be able to feelyour U shaped hole for you. No,
not that whole, the gaping holewe all have inside that deeply craves
validation, love and comfort. Itjust won't work. You've got to be
(01:02:58):
fond of yourself enough to support yourselfemotionally, regardless of the intimate company of
someone else. Loving yourself does notmake you vain or conceded, as long
as you have respect for other people. The world loves to paint confidence in
a terrible light, because to beconfident means to be self sufficient, and
(01:03:23):
that is a threat to a worldbuilt on a multi billion dollar industry that
tells you that you aren't doing youright. Find your own sense of this
and the rest will follow. Andit closes by saying, save some love
for yourself. You deserve it.So I just wanted to preface that.
(01:03:52):
We'll circle back to that because we'realready over an hour, you guys,
So we'll come back to that inthe next entry. We'll talk about that
a little bit more. But Iwanted to kind of like lead into the
next entry with that. I wantedto leave you guys with that, but
(01:04:15):
that part just really stuck with me. It says the world loves to paint
confidence in a terrible light because tobe confident means to be self sufficient,
and that is a threat to aworld built on a multi billion dollar industry
that tells you that you aren't doingyou right and that you should be doing
this. You should invest in this, you should have this, you should
do that, you should be doingit this way, you should be doing
it this way. All at theprice of this, for five installments of
(01:04:43):
this, you can feel you knowwhat I'm saying, Like, but this
is about you, this is yourseason. We're in this solo seat.
This is about you. This isabout how you do you. That's the
point. Embrace what you are,Embrace what you have, Embrace what you
(01:05:08):
want to do. Save some lovefor yourself because you deserve it. Alright,
So let me close this out andgive you guys your journal prompt.
(01:05:34):
Your journal prompt for this week iswhat is it that really makes me shine?
And I want three things? Listthree things? What is it that
really makes me shine? List threethings? That is your journal prompt for
(01:05:54):
this week. I hope you guysenjoyed this entry. I wanna give a
very quick shout out to our UGCcontent creator sponsor UGC with Shatavia. Check
(01:06:18):
the show notes, you guys.If you're looking for UGC in any way,
please connect with her. All ofher information will be in the show
notes. She is a sponsor andofficial sponsor of the Thoughts of a Black
Queen podcast via UGC. And yeah, I guess that's my intro. Just
(01:06:43):
was like, girls, shut up, y'all see the technical d You see
how you have to just like handlethe show, the the production my intro
was like, alright, my introjust came on. Usually I have to
cue my own outro. Outra waslike, that's enough. Alright, y'all.
Until next time you guys, Ilove you, Peace and blessings,
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