September 9, 2024 • 30 mins
In Part 3 of this deeply moving series, Selwa Mitchell and her four best friends open up about the incredible strength and resilience required as Selwa prepares for her third lung transplant. From their unwavering support at her hospital bedside to the profound love that binds them, these friends are more than family—they are Selwa’s lifeline. They share heartwarming stories about the miracles they have witnessed, the challenges they have faced, and the joy of simply being able to breathe. Selwa's journey is more than just her battle; it is a testament to the power of friendship, faith, and fighting for every breath. Tune in for an inspiring episode that highlights the beauty of unyielding support and the miracles that happen when you refuse to give up.
Hashtags:
#TooPoshPodcast #SelwaMitchell #LungTransplant #CysticFibrosis #MiraclesHappen #FriendshipGoals #Resilience #FaithAndHope #UnbreakableBond #PodcastEpisode #BreatheEasy
Hashtags:
#TooPoshPodcast #SelwaMitchell #LungTransplant #CysticFibrosis #MiraclesHappen #FriendshipGoals #Resilience #FaithAndHope #UnbreakableBond #PodcastEpisode #BreatheEasy
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Tupash Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I am Gabrielle. I'm a former New York Mafia princess
originally from Austria. I am the mother of three and
the owner of Tupash Boutique. And here with my beautiful
co host Masella, my daughter.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Hello, I'm Marcella. I'm a dancer, choreographer, model and designer
for Tupash and I say whatever I want.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
My name is Cruz. I am a stylist. I also
own the Society Salon in the Design District. And I
am a short, little Mexican with the big personality. What
will they say next? Welcome to the Tupash Podcast.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
For Rest assured that the social workers at whatever hospital
she's up up they.
Speaker 5 (00:59):
Last morning, I actually got somebody's personal like cell phone number,
which you're not supposed to do, but I mean like
advocated and like talked him into it, and then like
we didn't have oxygen and we needed oxygen. I don't
know if it was with me, and I like called
him on his cell phone. I'm pretty sure he was
in the bed, you know, it's like sleeping, yeah, And
(01:20):
I was like, Hi, you know, we need our oxygen,
you know, I mean, we definitely will go to all
links to be sure that we're caring for her, Like
Scott Wood, you know, if we're ever with her.
Speaker 6 (01:31):
Harry tanks out of the hospital, I don't care.
Speaker 7 (01:33):
I'm like to know, I think you did stole some.
Speaker 8 (01:37):
T in a wheelchair.
Speaker 6 (01:39):
Yes, that was the wheelchair guy.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
So yeah, we definitely make our presence known when we're there,
hopefully in a good way.
Speaker 6 (01:49):
They're like, are you family And I'm like.
Speaker 7 (01:51):
Yeah, yeah, adopted and like, you know, because Nobila would
come around and you don't.
Speaker 8 (02:00):
Clearly you can be like we have lots of family drama.
Just don't ask me.
Speaker 5 (02:07):
Wow. But I mean her family is also why she
is the way she is. Obviously, that's the core of her.
I mean her parents. I mean, you don't.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Respect Nebla honestly.
Speaker 8 (02:18):
Were rotten to her in high school.
Speaker 6 (02:21):
We give her so much.
Speaker 8 (02:23):
Yeah, I mean per to go swimming.
Speaker 9 (02:25):
Remember you weren't supposed to swim at night because her Yeah,
and like but we're sixteen and I'm like I call her.
I'm like, I'm on my way. I do not want
to talk to your mother. Packt your some suit and
I'll pick you up because mom will come, she.
Speaker 8 (02:41):
Comes running out, where are you going? Would still be moving,
and so I would.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Like jump into but I mean, but then we have
kids and you're like, oh, can you imagine?
Speaker 7 (02:55):
That's when we started really appreciating to Beila because we
were like, wait a minute, she did all.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
The right things.
Speaker 9 (03:00):
All how mean are we that we were like, your
mom doesn't want you go swimming, Well we're swimming.
Speaker 8 (03:05):
You're swimming.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
No.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
I mean I think that her family is the way
that they am tolerated us, tolerated us, but the way
that they treated her like she was normal, you know,
And that's why she has such a amazing.
Speaker 10 (03:20):
Yeah my mom. I mean, y'all are her girls. These
are my girls. I love them.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
She would come up in college on the weekend, Saturday morning.
Literally we'd all be hung like just getting home, hungover whatever,
and here comes to be late. You're knocking, britt Brittt
opened the door. She come with the ice chests and
she would have cooked the day before this huge feet
because she's Lemonese, right, she chosen loved her food and
(03:48):
we loved her food. And she would come in and
I mean it was such a treat for her to
be there. You know at the time, really oh my god.
But in Joe would sit in his chair and you know,
they just come check on her just kind of kind
of get a little bit mis tests and.
Speaker 8 (04:04):
What she's doing.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
You know.
Speaker 10 (04:05):
All the grape leaves and the chicken chickens are amazing. Yeah,
it's good for this for the hangover we have.
Speaker 8 (04:11):
We were so respectful for Nebula over.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
I mean I think we always were. We always loved her.
When you don't realize like what it's like child, you know.
Speaker 10 (04:22):
Yeah, Well that's why I say all this all the time,
is like I had two healthy children. I don't know how.
Speaker 8 (04:28):
I don't know you or your father did it.
Speaker 9 (04:30):
I don't know they did it because you're so unbelievable, right,
but they made you.
Speaker 10 (04:36):
Yeah, they did me.
Speaker 6 (04:37):
And Paul was always such just a sweet you know he.
Speaker 8 (04:41):
Brother. Yeah, yeah, he's so cool.
Speaker 10 (04:43):
He would make me run like around the track and
stuff when I and I was like, I can't run,
really can't I run. He's like, yeah, you can run.
And he like taught me how to like spit like,
you know, because I like because when you run you
have to like clear your lungs. And I was like
I don't know how to spit like you know, okay,
this is like you know, he taught me how to
like run around the track. So and that's how I
really do think running helped me a lot. So how
(05:05):
has he been able to have children? Because I did
run and I.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
Was so active.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I cannot believe that in it's still like all of it,
I mean, life expectancy till seven and then here.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
We are, here, we are well yeah, and I mean
even the pregnancies. I mean they were like, you're not
going to make it right, you know, and I mean
we were like, yes, she will making it. You know.
Speaker 7 (05:29):
I remember you decided to have Mitch and you were like,
you know before that and you were like I was
sitting in it in my driveway and you were like,
I'm going to do it. I know I'm not supposed to,
but I'm going to. I'm gonna have an I'm going
to have another baby.
Speaker 8 (05:40):
And I was like, what did you say?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Okay?
Speaker 6 (05:45):
Because she had made that her mind up in unknown.
Speaker 8 (05:47):
Yeah, you know, well.
Speaker 10 (05:49):
I felt it like and I think you felt that
way with Everett.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
I did.
Speaker 10 (05:52):
So every time I would place like the table, I
was like, there's supposed to be four not three four,
And I think you were the same way like I mean,
ever it was surprised or you know, a gift. And
but Mitch, yeah, he wasn't supposed to happen.
Speaker 8 (06:09):
And you were so healthy, Yeah I was.
Speaker 7 (06:13):
Yeah, you were really healthy with Mitch, which was where
Bella you were not healthy Bella.
Speaker 10 (06:17):
It was scary, Like, get why my doctors were late?
Speaker 8 (06:21):
I think you weigh one hundred and eight pounds you delivered.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
Oh yeah, she's not very fun being pregnant. Next time
we have the same like Sola and our oldest girls,
Bella and Aba are the exact same day, so you're
pregnant exactly exactly.
Speaker 9 (06:37):
And they were in her wedding and I guess bids.
Speaker 6 (06:41):
I had to.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
I had to sew a panel and to mine, and
then you've got.
Speaker 10 (06:47):
Actually trying to stick it out, you know, and you
can see it.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
And I'm like waddling down the aisle like cradling hers
and like can tell like trash boards.
Speaker 6 (06:57):
Crowdy was giving me in the back at the wedding.
Speaker 9 (07:02):
But I for real think you weighed one hundred and
ten pounds delivered.
Speaker 8 (07:07):
You were in the hospital a few like then.
Speaker 10 (07:09):
Yeah, afterwards, yeah, well.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Before before, but then I was crazy we had the
same due date.
Speaker 10 (07:14):
Yeah, that is so crazy, Like you can't even know
that both.
Speaker 5 (07:18):
Of your first so yeahah, both of my first and
then our seconds are exactly three months.
Speaker 8 (07:22):
Amort.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Wow, what the heck?
Speaker 5 (07:24):
And I didn't know I was pregnant because anyways with
AA my first, and she kept talking through her symptoms
and I was like, that is exactly how I feel.
Speaker 10 (07:36):
Well, you know, you thought you had just like.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
I kept taking pregnant and they were negative.
Speaker 6 (07:41):
I said you had vertigo.
Speaker 5 (07:45):
Member we were like, you definitely have vertical and then
like I didn't find out toil like ten weeks I
really was pregnant. And then so it was just kind
of funny journey.
Speaker 10 (07:54):
On the phone with you and you were telling me
your son. Was like, that's exactly that's how I feel.
Speaker 6 (07:58):
I was like, are you sure.
Speaker 10 (08:00):
I mean again, you took tests.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
Yeah, I mean all my babies, I've never a pregnancy
test don't work. I mean I'm the zero point one person.
Only more you would take it and it would say
negative and you were pregnant. I mean all the way through,
even when I was like sixty months pregnant, you would.
Speaker 9 (08:19):
Take it and it wouldn't what I came home from
the doctor the other one.
Speaker 8 (08:26):
Wow, you just.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Said so just a weird fact conversation.
Speaker 10 (08:38):
For people to know.
Speaker 8 (08:41):
It happened.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Price.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
Did you take the thing off the end to be
on it?
Speaker 10 (08:46):
Question?
Speaker 6 (08:47):
But I did?
Speaker 8 (08:50):
That's a valid question, actually, yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
But there was sometimes there was guilt, like like even
in that situation for me, I just felt so guilty
that I was having, you know what I mean, a
healthy situation, you know, And sometimes it is like you're
just like God, like, can you give something to me?
Do you know what I mean? And take it away
from her? And I know she would That's nothing she
does because she's just but I mean it's not it's
just human to feel like how can like all these things?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
You know?
Speaker 5 (09:21):
But because she was very sick with Yeah, I think
God obviously chooses those that can show his light, you know,
in a way that others can't. And sometimes unfortunately that
comes through really hard battles.
Speaker 10 (09:33):
But God also gives you the people to help you
get through them. And you know, y'all are my gifts
from God for sure.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
Sorry, I feel like we under delivery.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Ya.
Speaker 8 (09:48):
He's like wait a second, do I need to apologize
for us.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
All?
Speaker 10 (09:52):
I mean, I'm sitting here today because of you guys,
hands down. I mean to get especially get through that
second one and then now what's great, Like we're for
the third, aren't you.
Speaker 5 (10:01):
We talked about it professional and you're and you're being proactive, right,
you know what I mean? Like, so this is going
to be hard, but it's going to be another beautiful
story and miracle.
Speaker 7 (10:15):
And you know it's kind of you know, I like
to look at it as be an expectant of all
the things that are going to happen, and all the
miracles are going to happen, and just you know, when
the timing is right, and just seeing you again wake
up and be able to have that breath again.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
There's nothing more beautiful to see that number. Like that's
what we keep saying, like you just wait for your
one on one, you know what I mean? You know,
I mean it's coming, and.
Speaker 10 (10:42):
Yeah, I'm like trying to breathe thinking about it.
Speaker 5 (10:45):
It's coming.
Speaker 10 (10:46):
But yeah, and then again too though, is I just
I'm not scared and I'm excited. But the reason is
is because I have you guys to fight this with me,
And I mean, I just I wish ill could understand
how much I could only do this.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Do you have a get tired? Oh?
Speaker 10 (11:03):
I think we all get exhausted though, right, aren't we
all tired?
Speaker 8 (11:06):
No, I don't want to get tired. I'm like, well,
why should I be tired?
Speaker 6 (11:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (11:10):
That was not tired.
Speaker 10 (11:12):
Yah, I'm tired, but but I'm okay. You know, I'm okay.
So and as long as I have you guys, and
y'all know when again, like when I go dark, y'all
can just come over and bring me in door.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
And yeah, and she does the same thing for us,
you know what I mean. We're really focused on like
us doing this, you know, I mean she she knows
when we go dark. She's our biggest cheerleader. I mean,
you know.
Speaker 8 (11:37):
Her story for Selah is.
Speaker 9 (11:40):
My mom was sick and my kids needed a journal,
and she's like sent they wanted to read her scripture.
Speaker 8 (11:49):
I know, I love and.
Speaker 9 (11:51):
Sola was like I was just texting them about it
and she was like, it's in the mail, it'll be
on your porch tomorrow.
Speaker 10 (11:58):
So I just love it.
Speaker 9 (11:59):
It's not like we she she does so much for us,
not even just showing us miracles, but just in our friendship,
she is.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I was gonna say, you guys go through your life.
Speaker 8 (12:11):
Right, and she's right there.
Speaker 9 (12:13):
Yeah, and she's the first one too. If she's not
able to go somewhere or be somewhere, she will be
the first one to send something.
Speaker 10 (12:23):
So I wish I could be there, like y'all could
be there for me, But then I'm so thankful that
I don't have to be there for you in that
way because y'all can take deep breaths and that makes
me happy.
Speaker 6 (12:33):
Well, and your perspective is so.
Speaker 7 (12:36):
Encouraging because you know, when you go through a hard time,
you know exactly what to say, you know, and it
like it's always the right thing. That's exactly what I
needed to hear, you know, And uh, that's what's so,
I mean, that's what's so wonderful and encouraging.
Speaker 5 (12:50):
And you're yeah, she's so kind.
Speaker 9 (12:53):
She truly is the kind sometimes where I'm like, okay,
so well, let me.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
Be mean for that.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
And I mean it's well is.
Speaker 8 (13:00):
In that dress and it's not cute. I do not
need to be kind about that.
Speaker 5 (13:04):
But I mean, she's never she's the most judged, free
you know, no gossip, like just always kind and about everybody.
And you know, I really like everyone tells me I
have RBF all the time. I'm always like today, I
need a smile like Sala. I need to smile like
(13:24):
so because she's always smiling, you know, and she has
such a beautiful smile.
Speaker 6 (13:28):
I think that's what the draw is, you know.
Speaker 7 (13:29):
I mean, you make everybody feel special and no matter what,
like somebody, you just make everybody feel I think that's
when I first met you what I was so shocked by,
because I'd never met anybody like you that had been
so unconditionally like loving and genuinely kind, easy to love.
Speaker 6 (13:49):
Dude, how'd you feel?
Speaker 7 (13:52):
You know, it's just a I don't know, it's just
as it's an awesome trait because that is so rare.
Speaker 10 (13:58):
Right, I think, dealing with what I deal with every day,
like all those little things just don't matter, you know,
and you're just when you're just happy to breathe, like
everything else just kind of, you know, falls into place,
and you're just like, I'll smile all day long if
I can breathe.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Well, it's also in her words, like the I remember
when I first saw her page and her first writing,
I was like, whoa, whoa, what oh is this person?
Like it's so touching and so teaching and so encouraging
two people that don't even know her, Like I think
I followed. I don't know when she came across my page.
(14:36):
I have no idea, just remember following her and reading
and being inspired every time. And well, I think there's
not a lot of education on cystic fibrocess. And for
my mom and I I danced with a girl who
had it, and my mom was very involved in the
cystic fibrosis charity and I had heard of it for
(14:59):
so long, but not a a lot of people know it.
A friend of mine yesterday, she's like, I actually dated
someone in college for like three days or a few dates,
and he said he had that, And she's like, I
have no idea what that is.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Like, there's just not a lot of nobody knows. And
you look so amazing, So then people don't know how
sick you are. Yeah, people don't even understand, Like when
you say it, they're like, what is that?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
What even is that? What does that mean? And then
when you say some of them look at you like hmmm, yeah,
but you know that I don't know, right.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
So it's also one that everybody has it different, yeah,
you know what I mean. So it's like you can't
really I mean like virtual might have more you know,
stomach you know, yeah, I made it, maybe have the
cough worse, you know where their lungs.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
So that's another reason why I think it's a really
hard disease, because I'm sure it is hard to really
feel like you find someone that knows exactly what you're
going through, you know, because it's also different.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
It's like my friend's daughters. She at the time I
met her when she was two and she wasn't supposed
to lift through her teenage years, and she's about to
be thirty five years old, and so I know all
the how much progress cistic fibrosis science medicine has done.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
And I mean, we were doing the cistic fibrosis walks.
We did all so much wasistic fibrosis. That's why it's
so crazy that right here, because and telling so much
about it, because we just have been We've known someone
who has it for very long.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Time post relationships. So that's why I followed her instantly, I.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Mean, and you inspire her by the way, she's like
your biggest fan.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
And she says, yeah, she's your biggest fan. And I
actually had lunch with her mom last week and we
talked about you, and I remember a long time ago
she would have never considered a long transplant. And so
I asked the question, I said, where is she now
with you? The hope is like that she feels different.
(17:01):
So that is incredible. You don't I bet you don't
even know how many people you wait?
Speaker 10 (17:07):
Oh well, I love that because the five years or
six years that I have gotten from the transplant is
it was is a gift. I mean, so I love
that she can maybe consider that because even though the
journey's crazy, every day counts and I've just been so
blessed for every day that I've had with my children
(17:28):
and my friends, and I mean, I almost didn't get
to have that, So I wasn't not supposed to be
here right now to the fact that I am. I
just it's awesome.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
You're going to make history.
Speaker 8 (17:40):
I know it.
Speaker 10 (17:41):
Fifth transplant.
Speaker 6 (17:43):
We're waiting.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
We're waiting, were no, I know we need a break
for a little bit. Yeah, exactly, I do.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
I think that's something that's interesting though. How many people
that are inspired by you and by the things that
you put out and share about yourself online. And I
know that that isn't an easy thing to do. I'm
someone who I don't share anything online. I'm like the
complete opposite, and it gives me anxiety to even think
about that. But what it takes to share something meaningful,
(18:17):
It isn't just wrapping out a few sentences and posting it,
you know, Like she digs deep from within her soul
and the things that she's putting out there are meaningful.
And sometimes I worry about her because I know, like
there's a cost behind digging that deep, right, and like
does it what is it?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
What does it take? You know?
Speaker 4 (18:40):
And I picture her like late at night, like she
can't sleep and she has all these things in her
mind and she's you know, some of it, I know
is a release to to just get your thoughts out.
But then I know what's so amazing about her is
that she does care about so many other people. And
she's not put this out there just for her, just
(19:02):
for her family. She's putting it out there because she knows,
what if it can help one person, what if it
can help somebody's mom who has just received this diagnosis,
you know, and those are it takes a special kind
of person to want to share at that level and
to be able to do it so beautifully because I
(19:23):
you know, Sah, seventeen year old Sea was not writing.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
Challenge program.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
That is. I mean, I'm just saying.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
I'm just saying it isn't easy. It isn't easy, and
especially to make it look so beautiful and so effortless
and and have it actually mean something. And so I
know that, yeah, it's just a beautiful thing, and I
know it's hard. It's it's not as easy as she
makes it.
Speaker 5 (19:56):
And I think it's part of her healing journey, you know.
I mean, I we were talking about this on the
way over in the car. I mean, I remember the
first time she posted something on Facebook, because you know,
for so long it was just a private you know,
struggle and like you know, uh, and we would keep
it private. It was just kind of with your family.
And I will never forget. And I don't know if
you remember the first time you did, but I remember
(20:18):
calling Courtney, I mean.
Speaker 8 (20:19):
Did you see and we're like, are we sharing this?
I don't know we were sharing.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
But it was like such a huge moment because she
I find it to be. She finally like was confident
in herself to be vulnerable, you know, and that is
like something that I'm still learning, you know, And that's
probably what I'm trying to learn from her the most
right now, is just like how to be vulnerable, you know,
in situations, and because that's really how you grow, you know.
Speaker 10 (20:47):
I learned that this isn't my vulnerability, it's my strength.
And I think once I accepted sixty fibrosis as a
strength and understood because you guys do like lift me
up and tell me how strong I am. Y'all made
me believe in myself. And I think so once I
got behind myself and said, okay, if I can do this,
(21:09):
and and it was like you said, it is therapeutic.
And I do remember that post. It was like what
fifteen years ago maybe yeah, And I just I there
was something in my heart that just needed to get out.
And I had a lot of thoughts.
Speaker 9 (21:25):
Because I think a lot of people we went to
school with didn't quite understand and we weren't sharing it
with them. If they talked to us, we were like, well,
that's her, you know, that's her.
Speaker 8 (21:37):
Journey.
Speaker 9 (21:37):
That's her story, that's not my story to tell. And
so it was kind of when it happened. I can
remember Ashley and I were on the phone like oh,
like in a good way, in a good way, like
oh my god, well we just she hadn't said anything
to us, and then I was like, okay.
Speaker 10 (21:53):
But it is like what Amy was said. There would
be times, especially before transplant, that I'd feel so bad
in my own scan like just achy and just I
couldn't breathe, and it would be like three in the morning,
and I I had all these thoughts in my head
of just what I was dealing with and feeling, and
I would write them all out and then I'd go
(22:13):
to sleep, and it was almost like I was just
kind of it's my prayer in a way, it was
my meditation. And then I think it was just it
was something on Facebook. Wasn't like top ten things you do,
da da da, and everyone was like, yeah, I drink
doctor pepper and I drink. But mine was like, you know,
I wish I could breathe. I wish I mean I
had it was all mine were just they weren't very superficial,
they were very deep. Because this that's me because I'm
(22:37):
not dealing with like my favorite thing is doctor Pepper.
I'm dealing with my favorite thing is breathing, you know.
And so yeah, and it helped Anne because y'all were
so supportive. I was able to continue being able to
kind of share my thoughts and if it's it is hard,
and I do feel stupid sometimes.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
I don't know why. It's beautiful a gift.
Speaker 8 (23:00):
It's you have a gift talent.
Speaker 6 (23:02):
That's really what you've draw everybody in.
Speaker 5 (23:05):
Like God, like you can't you can't stop quiet my
mind until it's released, yeah, you know, And I feel
like that's God pushing her to write.
Speaker 10 (23:13):
Well, There'll be times that I will write it and
I don't even know what I wrote, and then I'll
go back and read it. I'm like, I wrote that,
and then I'm like, oh wait, I did it. It's
like so yeah, there, it's it's very supernatural and sometimes
so yeah, and and therapeutic and and I'm just appreciative
that people want to read it and understand it, and
(23:35):
so it makes me thankful.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Well, in the power of prayer, you talk about this
all the time. So the more people prite them, more
miracles we're going to see so.
Speaker 10 (23:45):
Leave that I feel them. I feel them, especially like
even when I'm quiet for a while and I don't
ask for prayers, I kind of feel like, you know,
going into that dark spot again. And then I'm just like, okay,
I need a post to kind of tell everyone how
I'm doing, and and then ask for prayers, and then
I feel so much better because there is the power
(24:06):
of prayer, for sure.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I feel it now. I know I asked this very late,
but I asked your friends to write a letter, So
I don't know who.
Speaker 8 (24:16):
Had time, but.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
I'm like, who has it and who would like to?
Speaker 10 (24:22):
I know Courtney probably did it. And I didn't even
know what we're talking about.
Speaker 8 (24:26):
I don't think. I don't know if anyone.
Speaker 10 (24:27):
I don't know.
Speaker 7 (24:28):
So I started yesterday at the nail salon literally and
I was like so sitting there and I was like,
I've got this. I mean, how many how many wonderful
things could I wrap this up in you know, like
just talking about you? And I got to how do
I even start this? And and then in my not
have it on my phone? How do I even start this?
(24:48):
What do I even say? How could I even sum this?
Up like what what words could adequately express? And literally
I left it at that and I just sat there
and in my head is just spent that whole time
just thinking about all the wonderful things, and I couldn't
get it into words.
Speaker 6 (25:08):
So I don't know.
Speaker 10 (25:09):
I mean, that's how I feel beout our friendship. Yah,
I get it, like you cannot put our experiences like
I mean, eventually one day we will have to write,
but it is it's hard to put it away.
Speaker 9 (25:19):
Well, I think even explaining it to people, I'm like, oh,
those are my friends from you know, because we all
have separate friends outside of this friend group. And I
mean we have friends we talk to even more than
these friends. And but they're cool too, They're really cool.
I love them, I love them, and I need them.
We all need them. But this group is different and
(25:43):
there's no jealousy of like your friend groups outside of
this friend group, and so it's hard for people to
understand it, and so it's hard for us to even
write a letter about it because these are my people.
And when I need someone at two am or I
need someone to come and pray with me, not even
(26:05):
about anything I can tell you about.
Speaker 8 (26:07):
And I may never tell you about it.
Speaker 9 (26:08):
I may go my entire life and never tell you
the biggest thing that happened in my life. You may
never know, but they don't care to know. They just
know that we need to. So a letter is very
hard to explain this.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
Yeah, no, I just was gonna say, I find it
interesting that that's how you started, because that's like almost
verbatim what I was writing out as well.
Speaker 8 (26:33):
And I love that.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
And it's interesting because yeah, you get to a point
where you say, how do you sum up decades of
amazing memories?
Speaker 2 (26:46):
You know?
Speaker 4 (26:47):
And when I say amazing, I mean the good, the bad,
the ugly. They're all the things that feed into you know,
the the backstories, just the just the threads that hold
us and this friendship together. And it's it's it's intimidating.
It's like I can't even begin to pull the string
(27:07):
because there's so much that unravels with it.
Speaker 8 (27:09):
And I think that I don't know.
Speaker 9 (27:14):
It's it's hard when people say unconditional. They say, oh,
my friendship's unconditional. Well, it's really most friendships you'll find
later down the road, like, oh, that was a five
year friendship and now it's.
Speaker 6 (27:27):
Like this is for a season.
Speaker 9 (27:29):
Yeah, and those are important and those are very important friends,
you know, not to discount those friends.
Speaker 10 (27:35):
But this is unconditional, isn't it Like it's like very
the body asked questions. Never, that's like.
Speaker 8 (27:42):
We'll just which we would, which we do.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
That can happen, And we were I was laughing about
this with Ashley when I'm yesterday when I called to
be like, yeah, I get here this time, and et cetera.
Speaker 8 (27:56):
And I hadn't.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Heard her voice in a long time, her actual voice.
We've spoken, but we're we're never out of communication. We text,
if not every day, at least every week. You always
know what's what's going on. There's never a moment where
I feel like because I haven't lived here in almost
(28:22):
nineteen years, wow, that's yeah, it's been a while eighteen years.
Speaker 8 (28:28):
So there.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
I go through moments when I feel far away from
them physically and I wonder, like, bomo, really basically, well,
you know, did you have a lunch and not tell
her that I would have known it, yeah.
Speaker 8 (28:41):
If I had no.
Speaker 4 (28:44):
But there's never a moment that feels like we're disconnected,
Like I always know we're right back where we always
are even if it's been even if it's been a while,
like literally Ashley, I was like, oh my god. And
we get into the business immediately, like.
Speaker 8 (29:00):
There's no what do you wear?
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Like, there's no nice at the beginning of it. It's
like you jump into the business immediately like it was yesterday,
Like I literally talked to her yesterday, and it's the
same exact way when I talk to any of them,
And that's that's the essence.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Hi. I'm Olivia Gooley.
Speaker 10 (29:20):
I'm one of the gossip girls here at tupash Podcasts.
You can find me on Instagram at Liv's World and
if you need me, I'll be crying in my Bentley.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
I'm Marcella, co host of the Tupash podcast. You can
find me on all social media platforms Marcella Roinery. You
can also find me on TikTok Marcella Roinary seven and
I say whatever the fuck I want.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
My name is CRUs Kaffer.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
You can find me on Instagram. And that's pretty much it,
and let's do some tequila together on the next show.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
If you enjoy listening to our show, please follow tupash
podcast on all social media handles and tell all your
family and friends about it. And two Push podcast is
on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Also, don't hesitate
to leave us a review, comments, feedback, or ask us
any questions and follow me on my personal social media
(30:16):
on Instagram at Gabby dot Talks and Facebook at Gabrielle Kindler,
Gilmour and I have No Secret. Thank you for listening here.
Speaker 10 (30:26):
Thank you,
Welcome to the Tupash Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I am Gabrielle. I'm a former New York Mafia princess
originally from Austria. I am the mother of three and
the owner of Tupash Boutique. And here with my beautiful
co host Masella, my daughter.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Hello, I'm Marcella. I'm a dancer, choreographer, model and designer
for Tupash and I say whatever I want.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
My name is Cruz. I am a stylist. I also
own the Society Salon in the Design District. And I
am a short, little Mexican with the big personality. What
will they say next? Welcome to the Tupash Podcast.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
For Rest assured that the social workers at whatever hospital
she's up up they.
Speaker 5 (00:59):
Last morning, I actually got somebody's personal like cell phone number,
which you're not supposed to do, but I mean like
advocated and like talked him into it, and then like
we didn't have oxygen and we needed oxygen. I don't
know if it was with me, and I like called
him on his cell phone. I'm pretty sure he was
in the bed, you know, it's like sleeping, yeah, And
(01:20):
I was like, Hi, you know, we need our oxygen,
you know, I mean, we definitely will go to all
links to be sure that we're caring for her, Like
Scott Wood, you know, if we're ever with her.
Speaker 6 (01:31):
Harry tanks out of the hospital, I don't care.
Speaker 7 (01:33):
I'm like to know, I think you did stole some.
Speaker 8 (01:37):
T in a wheelchair.
Speaker 6 (01:39):
Yes, that was the wheelchair guy.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
So yeah, we definitely make our presence known when we're there,
hopefully in a good way.
Speaker 6 (01:49):
They're like, are you family And I'm like.
Speaker 7 (01:51):
Yeah, yeah, adopted and like, you know, because Nobila would
come around and you don't.
Speaker 8 (02:00):
Clearly you can be like we have lots of family drama.
Just don't ask me.
Speaker 5 (02:07):
Wow. But I mean her family is also why she
is the way she is. Obviously, that's the core of her.
I mean her parents. I mean, you don't.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Respect Nebla honestly.
Speaker 8 (02:18):
Were rotten to her in high school.
Speaker 6 (02:21):
We give her so much.
Speaker 8 (02:23):
Yeah, I mean per to go swimming.
Speaker 9 (02:25):
Remember you weren't supposed to swim at night because her Yeah,
and like but we're sixteen and I'm like I call her.
I'm like, I'm on my way. I do not want
to talk to your mother. Packt your some suit and
I'll pick you up because mom will come, she.
Speaker 8 (02:41):
Comes running out, where are you going? Would still be moving,
and so I would.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Like jump into but I mean, but then we have
kids and you're like, oh, can you imagine?
Speaker 7 (02:55):
That's when we started really appreciating to Beila because we
were like, wait a minute, she did all.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
The right things.
Speaker 9 (03:00):
All how mean are we that we were like, your
mom doesn't want you go swimming, Well we're swimming.
Speaker 8 (03:05):
You're swimming.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
No.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
I mean I think that her family is the way
that they am tolerated us, tolerated us, but the way
that they treated her like she was normal, you know,
And that's why she has such a amazing.
Speaker 10 (03:20):
Yeah my mom. I mean, y'all are her girls. These
are my girls. I love them.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
She would come up in college on the weekend, Saturday morning.
Literally we'd all be hung like just getting home, hungover whatever,
and here comes to be late. You're knocking, britt Brittt
opened the door. She come with the ice chests and
she would have cooked the day before this huge feet
because she's Lemonese, right, she chosen loved her food and
(03:48):
we loved her food. And she would come in and
I mean it was such a treat for her to
be there. You know at the time, really oh my god.
But in Joe would sit in his chair and you know,
they just come check on her just kind of kind
of get a little bit mis tests and.
Speaker 8 (04:04):
What she's doing.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
You know.
Speaker 10 (04:05):
All the grape leaves and the chicken chickens are amazing. Yeah,
it's good for this for the hangover we have.
Speaker 8 (04:11):
We were so respectful for Nebula over.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
I mean I think we always were. We always loved her.
When you don't realize like what it's like child, you know.
Speaker 10 (04:22):
Yeah, Well that's why I say all this all the time,
is like I had two healthy children. I don't know how.
Speaker 8 (04:28):
I don't know you or your father did it.
Speaker 9 (04:30):
I don't know they did it because you're so unbelievable, right,
but they made you.
Speaker 10 (04:36):
Yeah, they did me.
Speaker 6 (04:37):
And Paul was always such just a sweet you know he.
Speaker 8 (04:41):
Brother. Yeah, yeah, he's so cool.
Speaker 10 (04:43):
He would make me run like around the track and
stuff when I and I was like, I can't run,
really can't I run. He's like, yeah, you can run.
And he like taught me how to like spit like,
you know, because I like because when you run you
have to like clear your lungs. And I was like
I don't know how to spit like you know, okay,
this is like you know, he taught me how to
like run around the track. So and that's how I
really do think running helped me a lot. So how
(05:05):
has he been able to have children? Because I did
run and I.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
Was so active.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I cannot believe that in it's still like all of it,
I mean, life expectancy till seven and then here.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
We are, here, we are well yeah, and I mean
even the pregnancies. I mean they were like, you're not
going to make it right, you know, and I mean
we were like, yes, she will making it. You know.
Speaker 7 (05:29):
I remember you decided to have Mitch and you were like,
you know before that and you were like I was
sitting in it in my driveway and you were like,
I'm going to do it. I know I'm not supposed to,
but I'm going to. I'm gonna have an I'm going
to have another baby.
Speaker 8 (05:40):
And I was like, what did you say?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Okay?
Speaker 6 (05:45):
Because she had made that her mind up in unknown.
Speaker 8 (05:47):
Yeah, you know, well.
Speaker 10 (05:49):
I felt it like and I think you felt that
way with Everett.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
I did.
Speaker 10 (05:52):
So every time I would place like the table, I
was like, there's supposed to be four not three four,
And I think you were the same way like I mean,
ever it was surprised or you know, a gift. And
but Mitch, yeah, he wasn't supposed to happen.
Speaker 8 (06:09):
And you were so healthy, Yeah I was.
Speaker 7 (06:13):
Yeah, you were really healthy with Mitch, which was where
Bella you were not healthy Bella.
Speaker 10 (06:17):
It was scary, Like, get why my doctors were late?
Speaker 8 (06:21):
I think you weigh one hundred and eight pounds you delivered.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
Oh yeah, she's not very fun being pregnant. Next time
we have the same like Sola and our oldest girls,
Bella and Aba are the exact same day, so you're
pregnant exactly exactly.
Speaker 9 (06:37):
And they were in her wedding and I guess bids.
Speaker 6 (06:41):
I had to.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
I had to sew a panel and to mine, and
then you've got.
Speaker 10 (06:47):
Actually trying to stick it out, you know, and you
can see it.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
And I'm like waddling down the aisle like cradling hers
and like can tell like trash boards.
Speaker 6 (06:57):
Crowdy was giving me in the back at the wedding.
Speaker 9 (07:02):
But I for real think you weighed one hundred and
ten pounds delivered.
Speaker 8 (07:07):
You were in the hospital a few like then.
Speaker 10 (07:09):
Yeah, afterwards, yeah, well.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Before before, but then I was crazy we had the
same due date.
Speaker 10 (07:14):
Yeah, that is so crazy, Like you can't even know
that both.
Speaker 5 (07:18):
Of your first so yeahah, both of my first and
then our seconds are exactly three months.
Speaker 8 (07:22):
Amort.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Wow, what the heck?
Speaker 5 (07:24):
And I didn't know I was pregnant because anyways with
AA my first, and she kept talking through her symptoms
and I was like, that is exactly how I feel.
Speaker 10 (07:36):
Well, you know, you thought you had just like.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
I kept taking pregnant and they were negative.
Speaker 6 (07:41):
I said you had vertigo.
Speaker 5 (07:45):
Member we were like, you definitely have vertical and then
like I didn't find out toil like ten weeks I
really was pregnant. And then so it was just kind
of funny journey.
Speaker 10 (07:54):
On the phone with you and you were telling me
your son. Was like, that's exactly that's how I feel.
Speaker 6 (07:58):
I was like, are you sure.
Speaker 10 (08:00):
I mean again, you took tests.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
Yeah, I mean all my babies, I've never a pregnancy
test don't work. I mean I'm the zero point one person.
Only more you would take it and it would say
negative and you were pregnant. I mean all the way through,
even when I was like sixty months pregnant, you would.
Speaker 9 (08:19):
Take it and it wouldn't what I came home from
the doctor the other one.
Speaker 8 (08:26):
Wow, you just.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Said so just a weird fact conversation.
Speaker 10 (08:38):
For people to know.
Speaker 8 (08:41):
It happened.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Price.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
Did you take the thing off the end to be
on it?
Speaker 10 (08:46):
Question?
Speaker 6 (08:47):
But I did?
Speaker 8 (08:50):
That's a valid question, actually, yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
But there was sometimes there was guilt, like like even
in that situation for me, I just felt so guilty
that I was having, you know what I mean, a
healthy situation, you know, And sometimes it is like you're
just like God, like, can you give something to me?
Do you know what I mean? And take it away
from her? And I know she would That's nothing she
does because she's just but I mean it's not it's
just human to feel like how can like all these things?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
You know?
Speaker 5 (09:21):
But because she was very sick with Yeah, I think
God obviously chooses those that can show his light, you know,
in a way that others can't. And sometimes unfortunately that
comes through really hard battles.
Speaker 10 (09:33):
But God also gives you the people to help you
get through them. And you know, y'all are my gifts
from God for sure.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
Sorry, I feel like we under delivery.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Ya.
Speaker 8 (09:48):
He's like wait a second, do I need to apologize
for us.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
All?
Speaker 10 (09:52):
I mean, I'm sitting here today because of you guys,
hands down. I mean to get especially get through that
second one and then now what's great, Like we're for
the third, aren't you.
Speaker 5 (10:01):
We talked about it professional and you're and you're being proactive, right,
you know what I mean? Like, so this is going
to be hard, but it's going to be another beautiful
story and miracle.
Speaker 7 (10:15):
And you know it's kind of you know, I like
to look at it as be an expectant of all
the things that are going to happen, and all the
miracles are going to happen, and just you know, when
the timing is right, and just seeing you again wake
up and be able to have that breath again.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
There's nothing more beautiful to see that number. Like that's
what we keep saying, like you just wait for your
one on one, you know what I mean? You know,
I mean it's coming, and.
Speaker 10 (10:42):
Yeah, I'm like trying to breathe thinking about it.
Speaker 5 (10:45):
It's coming.
Speaker 10 (10:46):
But yeah, and then again too though, is I just
I'm not scared and I'm excited. But the reason is
is because I have you guys to fight this with me,
And I mean, I just I wish ill could understand
how much I could only do this.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Do you have a get tired? Oh?
Speaker 10 (11:03):
I think we all get exhausted though, right, aren't we
all tired?
Speaker 8 (11:06):
No, I don't want to get tired. I'm like, well,
why should I be tired?
Speaker 6 (11:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (11:10):
That was not tired.
Speaker 10 (11:12):
Yah, I'm tired, but but I'm okay. You know, I'm okay.
So and as long as I have you guys, and
y'all know when again, like when I go dark, y'all
can just come over and bring me in door.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
And yeah, and she does the same thing for us,
you know what I mean. We're really focused on like
us doing this, you know, I mean she she knows
when we go dark. She's our biggest cheerleader. I mean,
you know.
Speaker 8 (11:37):
Her story for Selah is.
Speaker 9 (11:40):
My mom was sick and my kids needed a journal,
and she's like sent they wanted to read her scripture.
Speaker 8 (11:49):
I know, I love and.
Speaker 9 (11:51):
Sola was like I was just texting them about it
and she was like, it's in the mail, it'll be
on your porch tomorrow.
Speaker 10 (11:58):
So I just love it.
Speaker 9 (11:59):
It's not like we she she does so much for us,
not even just showing us miracles, but just in our friendship,
she is.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I was gonna say, you guys go through your life.
Speaker 8 (12:11):
Right, and she's right there.
Speaker 9 (12:13):
Yeah, and she's the first one too. If she's not
able to go somewhere or be somewhere, she will be
the first one to send something.
Speaker 10 (12:23):
So I wish I could be there, like y'all could
be there for me, But then I'm so thankful that
I don't have to be there for you in that
way because y'all can take deep breaths and that makes
me happy.
Speaker 6 (12:33):
Well, and your perspective is so.
Speaker 7 (12:36):
Encouraging because you know, when you go through a hard time,
you know exactly what to say, you know, and it
like it's always the right thing. That's exactly what I
needed to hear, you know, And uh, that's what's so,
I mean, that's what's so wonderful and encouraging.
Speaker 5 (12:50):
And you're yeah, she's so kind.
Speaker 9 (12:53):
She truly is the kind sometimes where I'm like, okay,
so well, let me.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
Be mean for that.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
And I mean it's well is.
Speaker 8 (13:00):
In that dress and it's not cute. I do not
need to be kind about that.
Speaker 5 (13:04):
But I mean, she's never she's the most judged, free
you know, no gossip, like just always kind and about everybody.
And you know, I really like everyone tells me I
have RBF all the time. I'm always like today, I
need a smile like Sala. I need to smile like
(13:24):
so because she's always smiling, you know, and she has
such a beautiful smile.
Speaker 6 (13:28):
I think that's what the draw is, you know.
Speaker 7 (13:29):
I mean, you make everybody feel special and no matter what,
like somebody, you just make everybody feel I think that's
when I first met you what I was so shocked by,
because I'd never met anybody like you that had been
so unconditionally like loving and genuinely kind, easy to love.
Speaker 6 (13:49):
Dude, how'd you feel?
Speaker 7 (13:52):
You know, it's just a I don't know, it's just
as it's an awesome trait because that is so rare.
Speaker 10 (13:58):
Right, I think, dealing with what I deal with every day,
like all those little things just don't matter, you know,
and you're just when you're just happy to breathe, like
everything else just kind of, you know, falls into place,
and you're just like, I'll smile all day long if
I can breathe.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Well, it's also in her words, like the I remember
when I first saw her page and her first writing,
I was like, whoa, whoa, what oh is this person?
Like it's so touching and so teaching and so encouraging
two people that don't even know her, Like I think
I followed. I don't know when she came across my page.
(14:36):
I have no idea, just remember following her and reading
and being inspired every time. And well, I think there's
not a lot of education on cystic fibrocess. And for
my mom and I I danced with a girl who
had it, and my mom was very involved in the
cystic fibrosis charity and I had heard of it for
(14:59):
so long, but not a a lot of people know it.
A friend of mine yesterday, she's like, I actually dated
someone in college for like three days or a few dates,
and he said he had that, And she's like, I
have no idea what that is.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Like, there's just not a lot of nobody knows. And
you look so amazing, So then people don't know how
sick you are. Yeah, people don't even understand, Like when
you say it, they're like, what is that?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
What even is that? What does that mean? And then
when you say some of them look at you like hmmm, yeah,
but you know that I don't know, right.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
So it's also one that everybody has it different, yeah,
you know what I mean. So it's like you can't
really I mean like virtual might have more you know,
stomach you know, yeah, I made it, maybe have the
cough worse, you know where their lungs.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
So that's another reason why I think it's a really
hard disease, because I'm sure it is hard to really
feel like you find someone that knows exactly what you're
going through, you know, because it's also different.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
It's like my friend's daughters. She at the time I
met her when she was two and she wasn't supposed
to lift through her teenage years, and she's about to
be thirty five years old, and so I know all
the how much progress cistic fibrosis science medicine has done.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
And I mean, we were doing the cistic fibrosis walks.
We did all so much wasistic fibrosis. That's why it's
so crazy that right here, because and telling so much
about it, because we just have been We've known someone
who has it for very long.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Time post relationships. So that's why I followed her instantly, I.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Mean, and you inspire her by the way, she's like
your biggest fan.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
And she says, yeah, she's your biggest fan. And I
actually had lunch with her mom last week and we
talked about you, and I remember a long time ago
she would have never considered a long transplant. And so
I asked the question, I said, where is she now
with you? The hope is like that she feels different.
(17:01):
So that is incredible. You don't I bet you don't
even know how many people you wait?
Speaker 10 (17:07):
Oh well, I love that because the five years or
six years that I have gotten from the transplant is
it was is a gift. I mean, so I love
that she can maybe consider that because even though the
journey's crazy, every day counts and I've just been so
blessed for every day that I've had with my children
(17:28):
and my friends, and I mean, I almost didn't get
to have that, So I wasn't not supposed to be
here right now to the fact that I am. I
just it's awesome.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
You're going to make history.
Speaker 8 (17:40):
I know it.
Speaker 10 (17:41):
Fifth transplant.
Speaker 6 (17:43):
We're waiting.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
We're waiting, were no, I know we need a break
for a little bit. Yeah, exactly, I do.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
I think that's something that's interesting though. How many people
that are inspired by you and by the things that
you put out and share about yourself online. And I
know that that isn't an easy thing to do. I'm
someone who I don't share anything online. I'm like the
complete opposite, and it gives me anxiety to even think
about that. But what it takes to share something meaningful,
(18:17):
It isn't just wrapping out a few sentences and posting it,
you know, Like she digs deep from within her soul
and the things that she's putting out there are meaningful.
And sometimes I worry about her because I know, like
there's a cost behind digging that deep, right, and like
does it what is it?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
What does it take? You know?
Speaker 4 (18:40):
And I picture her like late at night, like she
can't sleep and she has all these things in her
mind and she's you know, some of it, I know
is a release to to just get your thoughts out.
But then I know what's so amazing about her is
that she does care about so many other people. And
she's not put this out there just for her, just
(19:02):
for her family. She's putting it out there because she knows,
what if it can help one person, what if it
can help somebody's mom who has just received this diagnosis,
you know, and those are it takes a special kind
of person to want to share at that level and
to be able to do it so beautifully because I
(19:23):
you know, Sah, seventeen year old Sea was not writing.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
Challenge program.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
That is. I mean, I'm just saying.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
I'm just saying it isn't easy. It isn't easy, and
especially to make it look so beautiful and so effortless
and and have it actually mean something. And so I
know that, yeah, it's just a beautiful thing, and I
know it's hard. It's it's not as easy as she
makes it.
Speaker 5 (19:56):
And I think it's part of her healing journey, you know.
I mean, I we were talking about this on the
way over in the car. I mean, I remember the
first time she posted something on Facebook, because you know,
for so long it was just a private you know,
struggle and like you know, uh, and we would keep
it private. It was just kind of with your family.
And I will never forget. And I don't know if
you remember the first time you did, but I remember
(20:18):
calling Courtney, I mean.
Speaker 8 (20:19):
Did you see and we're like, are we sharing this?
I don't know we were sharing.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
But it was like such a huge moment because she
I find it to be. She finally like was confident
in herself to be vulnerable, you know, and that is
like something that I'm still learning, you know, And that's
probably what I'm trying to learn from her the most
right now, is just like how to be vulnerable, you know,
in situations, and because that's really how you grow, you know.
Speaker 10 (20:47):
I learned that this isn't my vulnerability, it's my strength.
And I think once I accepted sixty fibrosis as a
strength and understood because you guys do like lift me
up and tell me how strong I am. Y'all made
me believe in myself. And I think so once I
got behind myself and said, okay, if I can do this,
(21:09):
and and it was like you said, it is therapeutic.
And I do remember that post. It was like what
fifteen years ago maybe yeah, And I just I there
was something in my heart that just needed to get out.
And I had a lot of thoughts.
Speaker 9 (21:25):
Because I think a lot of people we went to
school with didn't quite understand and we weren't sharing it
with them. If they talked to us, we were like, well,
that's her, you know, that's her.
Speaker 8 (21:37):
Journey.
Speaker 9 (21:37):
That's her story, that's not my story to tell. And
so it was kind of when it happened. I can
remember Ashley and I were on the phone like oh,
like in a good way, in a good way, like
oh my god, well we just she hadn't said anything
to us, and then I was like, okay.
Speaker 10 (21:53):
But it is like what Amy was said. There would
be times, especially before transplant, that I'd feel so bad
in my own scan like just achy and just I
couldn't breathe, and it would be like three in the morning,
and I I had all these thoughts in my head
of just what I was dealing with and feeling, and
I would write them all out and then I'd go
(22:13):
to sleep, and it was almost like I was just
kind of it's my prayer in a way, it was
my meditation. And then I think it was just it
was something on Facebook. Wasn't like top ten things you do,
da da da, and everyone was like, yeah, I drink
doctor pepper and I drink. But mine was like, you know,
I wish I could breathe. I wish I mean I
had it was all mine were just they weren't very superficial,
they were very deep. Because this that's me because I'm
(22:37):
not dealing with like my favorite thing is doctor Pepper.
I'm dealing with my favorite thing is breathing, you know.
And so yeah, and it helped Anne because y'all were
so supportive. I was able to continue being able to
kind of share my thoughts and if it's it is hard,
and I do feel stupid sometimes.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
I don't know why. It's beautiful a gift.
Speaker 8 (23:00):
It's you have a gift talent.
Speaker 6 (23:02):
That's really what you've draw everybody in.
Speaker 5 (23:05):
Like God, like you can't you can't stop quiet my
mind until it's released, yeah, you know, And I feel
like that's God pushing her to write.
Speaker 10 (23:13):
Well, There'll be times that I will write it and
I don't even know what I wrote, and then I'll
go back and read it. I'm like, I wrote that,
and then I'm like, oh wait, I did it. It's
like so yeah, there, it's it's very supernatural and sometimes
so yeah, and and therapeutic and and I'm just appreciative
that people want to read it and understand it, and
(23:35):
so it makes me thankful.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Well, in the power of prayer, you talk about this
all the time. So the more people prite them, more
miracles we're going to see so.
Speaker 10 (23:45):
Leave that I feel them. I feel them, especially like
even when I'm quiet for a while and I don't
ask for prayers, I kind of feel like, you know,
going into that dark spot again. And then I'm just like, okay,
I need a post to kind of tell everyone how
I'm doing, and and then ask for prayers, and then
I feel so much better because there is the power
(24:06):
of prayer, for sure.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I feel it now. I know I asked this very late,
but I asked your friends to write a letter, So
I don't know who.
Speaker 8 (24:16):
Had time, but.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
I'm like, who has it and who would like to?
Speaker 10 (24:22):
I know Courtney probably did it. And I didn't even
know what we're talking about.
Speaker 8 (24:26):
I don't think. I don't know if anyone.
Speaker 10 (24:27):
I don't know.
Speaker 7 (24:28):
So I started yesterday at the nail salon literally and
I was like so sitting there and I was like,
I've got this. I mean, how many how many wonderful
things could I wrap this up in you know, like
just talking about you? And I got to how do
I even start this? And and then in my not
have it on my phone? How do I even start this?
(24:48):
What do I even say? How could I even sum this?
Up like what what words could adequately express? And literally
I left it at that and I just sat there
and in my head is just spent that whole time
just thinking about all the wonderful things, and I couldn't
get it into words.
Speaker 6 (25:08):
So I don't know.
Speaker 10 (25:09):
I mean, that's how I feel beout our friendship. Yah,
I get it, like you cannot put our experiences like
I mean, eventually one day we will have to write,
but it is it's hard to put it away.
Speaker 9 (25:19):
Well, I think even explaining it to people, I'm like, oh,
those are my friends from you know, because we all
have separate friends outside of this friend group. And I
mean we have friends we talk to even more than
these friends. And but they're cool too, They're really cool.
I love them, I love them, and I need them.
We all need them. But this group is different and
(25:43):
there's no jealousy of like your friend groups outside of
this friend group, and so it's hard for people to
understand it, and so it's hard for us to even
write a letter about it because these are my people.
And when I need someone at two am or I
need someone to come and pray with me, not even
(26:05):
about anything I can tell you about.
Speaker 8 (26:07):
And I may never tell you about it.
Speaker 9 (26:08):
I may go my entire life and never tell you
the biggest thing that happened in my life. You may
never know, but they don't care to know. They just
know that we need to. So a letter is very
hard to explain this.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
Yeah, no, I just was gonna say, I find it
interesting that that's how you started, because that's like almost
verbatim what I was writing out as well.
Speaker 8 (26:33):
And I love that.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
And it's interesting because yeah, you get to a point
where you say, how do you sum up decades of
amazing memories?
Speaker 2 (26:46):
You know?
Speaker 4 (26:47):
And when I say amazing, I mean the good, the bad,
the ugly. They're all the things that feed into you know,
the the backstories, just the just the threads that hold
us and this friendship together. And it's it's it's intimidating.
It's like I can't even begin to pull the string
(27:07):
because there's so much that unravels with it.
Speaker 8 (27:09):
And I think that I don't know.
Speaker 9 (27:14):
It's it's hard when people say unconditional. They say, oh,
my friendship's unconditional. Well, it's really most friendships you'll find
later down the road, like, oh, that was a five
year friendship and now it's.
Speaker 6 (27:27):
Like this is for a season.
Speaker 9 (27:29):
Yeah, and those are important and those are very important friends,
you know, not to discount those friends.
Speaker 10 (27:35):
But this is unconditional, isn't it Like it's like very
the body asked questions. Never, that's like.
Speaker 8 (27:42):
We'll just which we would, which we do.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
That can happen, And we were I was laughing about
this with Ashley when I'm yesterday when I called to
be like, yeah, I get here this time, and et cetera.
Speaker 8 (27:56):
And I hadn't.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Heard her voice in a long time, her actual voice.
We've spoken, but we're we're never out of communication. We text,
if not every day, at least every week. You always
know what's what's going on. There's never a moment where
I feel like because I haven't lived here in almost
(28:22):
nineteen years, wow, that's yeah, it's been a while eighteen years.
Speaker 8 (28:28):
So there.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
I go through moments when I feel far away from
them physically and I wonder, like, bomo, really basically, well,
you know, did you have a lunch and not tell
her that I would have known it, yeah.
Speaker 8 (28:41):
If I had no.
Speaker 4 (28:44):
But there's never a moment that feels like we're disconnected,
Like I always know we're right back where we always
are even if it's been even if it's been a while,
like literally Ashley, I was like, oh my god. And
we get into the business immediately, like.
Speaker 8 (29:00):
There's no what do you wear?
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Like, there's no nice at the beginning of it. It's
like you jump into the business immediately like it was yesterday,
Like I literally talked to her yesterday, and it's the
same exact way when I talk to any of them,
And that's that's the essence.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Hi. I'm Olivia Gooley.
Speaker 10 (29:20):
I'm one of the gossip girls here at tupash Podcasts.
You can find me on Instagram at Liv's World and
if you need me, I'll be crying in my Bentley.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
I'm Marcella, co host of the Tupash podcast. You can
find me on all social media platforms Marcella Roinery. You
can also find me on TikTok Marcella Roinary seven and
I say whatever the fuck I want.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
My name is CRUs Kaffer.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
You can find me on Instagram. And that's pretty much it,
and let's do some tequila together on the next show.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
If you enjoy listening to our show, please follow tupash
podcast on all social media handles and tell all your
family and friends about it. And two Push podcast is
on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Also, don't hesitate
to leave us a review, comments, feedback, or ask us
any questions and follow me on my personal social media
(30:16):
on Instagram at Gabby dot Talks and Facebook at Gabrielle Kindler,
Gilmour and I have No Secret. Thank you for listening here.
Speaker 10 (30:26):
Thank you,
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