September 17, 2024 • 47 mins
In the final part of this extraordinary four-part series, Selwa Mitchell and her four best friends dive deep into their incredible bond, sharing stories that highlight the power of their supernatural friendship. As Selwa prepares for her third lung transplant, her friends reflect on the profound impact she’s had on their lives and how their unwavering support lifts her in the darkest moments. From ICU battles and unbreakable hope to the beauty of small victories, this episode showcases the essence of true, unconditional friendship.
The friends talk about Selwa’s amazing children, who have developed a unique perspective and unshakeable faith from their life experiences. They open up about their own journeys through life’s challenges, the significance of having the right friends, and how Selwa’s mental strength and determination have continually inspired them. Selwa’s journey is a testament to resilience, faith, and the unyielding power of love.
Join us as we explore their shared memories, from their teenage years to the intense moments in the ICU, and their collective belief that this third transplant will be another miracle. Through laughter, tears, and unwavering faith, they prepare to face the battle ahead, determined that Selwa will once again defy the odds. This heartfelt episode is a tribute to the kind of friendship that goes beyond words, where unconditional love and the power of prayer create a light that guides them through the darkest of times.
Hashtags:
#TooPoshPodcast #SelwaMitchell #LungTransplant #CysticFibrosis #MiraclesHappen #SupernaturalFriendship #FaithOverFear #UnbreakableBonds #PodcastSeries #PowerOfPrayer #Resilience #HopeAndHealing
The friends talk about Selwa’s amazing children, who have developed a unique perspective and unshakeable faith from their life experiences. They open up about their own journeys through life’s challenges, the significance of having the right friends, and how Selwa’s mental strength and determination have continually inspired them. Selwa’s journey is a testament to resilience, faith, and the unyielding power of love.
Join us as we explore their shared memories, from their teenage years to the intense moments in the ICU, and their collective belief that this third transplant will be another miracle. Through laughter, tears, and unwavering faith, they prepare to face the battle ahead, determined that Selwa will once again defy the odds. This heartfelt episode is a tribute to the kind of friendship that goes beyond words, where unconditional love and the power of prayer create a light that guides them through the darkest of times.
Hashtags:
#TooPoshPodcast #SelwaMitchell #LungTransplant #CysticFibrosis #MiraclesHappen #SupernaturalFriendship #FaithOverFear #UnbreakableBonds #PodcastSeries #PowerOfPrayer #Resilience #HopeAndHealing
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Tupash Podcast. I am Gabrielle. I'm a
former New York Mafia princess originally from Austria. I am
the mother of three and the owner of Tupash boutique.
And here with my beautiful co host Masella, my daughter.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hello, I'm Marcella. I'm a dancer, choreographer, model and designer
for Tupash and I say whatever I want.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
My name is Cruz. I am a stylist. I also
own the Society Salon in the Design District and I
am a short, little Mexican with the big personality. What
will they say next? Welcome to the Tupash Podcast.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
I mean, I think for me having been a part
of this friendship, and I do think Selah is a
big part of the friendship in the sense of the
closeness and titaness we have.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
But I think I create situations where we have to.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
But I can't teach people how to be friends, right,
you know what I mean. It's just like we've had
such experiences together that it's just, you know, made us
better friends, you know, through those experiences. And I say
the same thing about her amazing children. I mean, like
her children are amazing in every sense of the word.
(01:27):
And it's because they have lived a life that has
taught them things that other kids don't get. And they're
all really good things, you know, and they are and
I mean there's I mean, they come they're going to
go into the world with such a perspective and such
faith that my kids won't see, you know, And I mean,
(01:47):
I don't know. I think that's why it's hard too
for me. I mean, I tell my kids friends all
the time. I do not pray for your husband's I
pray for your friends. If you have good friends, you
will find the right person to marry, You will find
the right job, you will find the right faith. I
just want everyone to have and you know that, I know,
(02:09):
to have really solid friends. And I don't think we
realized it was not normal, you know what I mean.
I mean, I'm not trying to say, oh, you know,
everyone has friends, but like I didn't realize growing up that,
you know, until I started making other friends and being like, oh, wow,
sometimes you're unconditional.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
But they're not.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
They're not, you know, And then you become completely drained,
right because you're giving everything and you you know, you're
not getting that back and so but like I said earlier,
she's changed every part of my life, you know, and
for the better. And I'm just thankful that God chows
us m hm.
Speaker 6 (02:45):
Well, that he created this friendship or many reasons, not
just for Selah, I mean for all of us.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
So it's very rare. Yeah, I'm never very very very
very rare. And they're thankful.
Speaker 6 (03:02):
You're so thankful.
Speaker 7 (03:04):
I think it's something you're at an age now where
you can value it even more, like we've always had
it as the safety net is how so it explains it.
But you know, I always knew everybody goes through those
rough and frustrating times in junior high, in high school,
(03:25):
you know, the mean girls did this, that, that, any
any of it right, And I always just felt safer,
felt better, felt I knew that I had my girls
right and it wasn't going to be like some stupid
fight over any little small thing that was ever going
(03:46):
to break the fabric. And I what security that is, right,
because I know I see my niece, I see all
these young girls. I see that you worry about, like, you.
Speaker 6 (04:00):
Know, competing with other people, yes, and jealousy. It's hard.
Speaker 7 (04:05):
Everybody knows it's not easy to navigate.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Nobody has said any the girls, it never ends and.
Speaker 8 (04:14):
Get better at it.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I think women will be in an old age home
fighting each other.
Speaker 8 (04:20):
It doesn't there's only one of him, any of them.
Speaker 7 (04:27):
But you see those phrases now where it's like, you know,
you should only be adding things to your life, you know,
like should let the drain the suck, let that go, right,
And how blessed are we that we've just always had this.
Now we've feed it, you know, like you don't just
leave a friendship and then you definitely grow and nurture it.
(04:51):
But we're just so incredibly blessed to have had this amazing.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Feel all your energy, all you like everybody, that's why
you have this, because it's you were really I feel
like meant to be together.
Speaker 5 (05:07):
And I draw on that energy. Yes, like when I
am in a coma, lying in the hospital bed dying,
I know their presence is what is lifting me up,
and that energy is.
Speaker 8 (05:17):
Exactly what keeps me alive and all of the different aspects,
like Courtney and I have a whole different relationship than
I have with Amy, you know, like it's just it's
really just well and.
Speaker 6 (05:30):
Even Brittany and I have a different relationship because I
didn't go to Baylor with them, so Brittany and I
weren't as close. I mean, they all lived together, and
so Brittany and I didn't get closer till maybe in
our twenty you know, even after that. So it's changed.
Our friendship changes as we get older and involved and evolved.
(05:53):
And there was never any jealousy, you know, like with
when you for Brittany.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Was so well.
Speaker 6 (06:02):
Brittany and I make a good power couple.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
I try to teach my daughters that too, because it's
like we're so different, you know, and like so I
am much more reserved, you know, and I think we
all play a different role in the friendship. So it
would have been easy for me to get jealous of
Sola because she's so bubbly and you know, people annoyed
in a good way, you know, and she can just
walk into her room and everything. And I talk to
(06:29):
my kids now and I'm like, no, that's an amazing thing, right,
You're supposed to have someone different, because she made my
life so much easier to tag along with her. You know,
everybody the extrovert, like you can't be jealous of those things.
You have to embrace them because they make you.
Speaker 6 (06:45):
Better appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
You appreciate it, like, yeah, oh my gosh, I don't know.
Speaker 6 (06:54):
I haven't seen that a long time, but I haven't either.
That is such.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Because that's it. They remind me of mine. Yeah, you're
awes It's it's rare, but it does happen, and when
you find them, it's incredible. And then when they can
become friends together, like because you started with somebody and
then everybody becomes friends so special.
Speaker 8 (07:18):
And that's what you want. You want, you want people
to have great friendships. Yeah, I desire that for my kids.
I that for everybody, especially women, because it's very important
and I really I feel like it's sad sometimes that's
not the norm, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
I agree, and friendships break apart such over.
Speaker 8 (07:40):
And it's hurtful, you know, and it can really change
the whole outlook on things.
Speaker 6 (07:44):
So I don't know.
Speaker 8 (07:45):
I just I'm thankful and I want that for everybody, everybody.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Yeah. Yeah, And we're all ready for this third transplants
and it's gonna go smooth, right it is.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
We know how to do it.
Speaker 8 (08:00):
We're in the perfect place and we know the drool.
Speaker 9 (08:03):
Yeah, I just look out duke.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Did they know about all the Yeah?
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Well, it's actually funny because they did ask. I know,
they did ask. You know, They're like, okay, so who
is your support group? And obviously Scott will be the
first one. And then and I was like, well then
I have you know, Ashley Corney, Amy Britt And they're
just like wait what And I was like, well, do
you want all their numbers? And so like I had
to give them all one of y'all's numbers and to
(08:31):
the it was to the social worker, who was normal by.
Speaker 8 (08:35):
The way, very few of us around.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Well we have a funny story about social worker. But anyways,
I mean, we love all the social workers.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
They do pretty much everything for us, but there are
some funny stories.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Well she was awesome. That was what made up so awesome.
Speaker 8 (08:51):
She did everything for us, but no rules.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
Yeah, no rules. But yeah. So I was basically giving
them all of y'all's names and just explaining, well, what
will probably happen is they're going to take shifts and
they'll come, you know, because again I can't be by myself.
They won't let me even though I'm like, I can
do this. I'm like, actually, no, I can't, but I
have to always have a caretaker. And obviously Scott can't
just be in North Carolina forever. I mean, he's so good.
(09:17):
What he's what y'all give him is he can have
his own business and thrive and do so well because
he has you guys, so he doesn't have to worry
about me, you know. But so yeah, we just I
gave him all y'all's contact information, and so just be
ready for a call because I think she has to
approve y'all or.
Speaker 6 (09:34):
I just wonder if it'll be different. I was going
to say, this is a post COVID, you know world
and out of the ICU, like no identification. Yeah, we
lived there there.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
Back back and attorney like wipe down in the bathroom
and I was like, do not bring a suitcase, Do
just bring a backpack and.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
Y'all lives off the vending machines and our refer day
old pizza.
Speaker 6 (10:01):
Yeah that we.
Speaker 8 (10:04):
I didn't even know it was three days later.
Speaker 6 (10:06):
I go, oh, we didn't know dark in there, so
you I mean you it's kind of like being in
vagas no clue of like time, because you're in a
room like this that is just constant. You know, you're
just constantly monitoring, so you lose track of like, oh
it's been three days, okay, wow, because you're up through
(10:26):
the night too. I mean you're not just through the
day and get to sleep from you know, nine pm
to seven am and get a great you know, ten hours.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
It's whatever I say, right, I mean at.
Speaker 6 (10:38):
The beginning, we would set alarms, yeah, for like every
ten minutes. I would set mine for ten minutes and
then she I would get up and then she would
set her alarm for ten minutes.
Speaker 8 (10:46):
Like I need any one hour to sleep. All I
needs an hour? Yeah, I can take them sleeping pill,
knock out an hour and then I can get up
and them.
Speaker 6 (10:53):
Because she would see if she was like breathing and
check her numbers. It was ten to fifteen minutes, is all.
You would lay down to fifteen and you were in
a seat.
Speaker 8 (11:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (11:02):
I mean it's like a bench, a bench and you
put chair your feet. She had so many machines and
you know, I mean, I mean it's not like you're
in a luxury hospital room. It's a nice U room.
And we had with Scott and you're on the phone.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
You know, what I mean, Scott is like, you know,
it's not like it was us just you know, I mean.
Speaker 6 (11:22):
Scott's checking all the numbers and yeah, He's like, get
me in Rundown, what's happening right now? And you just
sat on the bench and slept with your feet up
and would take turns getting up every ten to fifteen minutes.
Speaker 8 (11:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (11:35):
Is that mean the machines had blood all over it?
That was after surgery.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
So this, I mean, I don't know how many. I
don't know what I mean. If we don't want to
share this, you can tell. But like so the night
that she got lungs on for the second transplant, it
was crazy how long they operated on her just to
get the old lungs out, you know, I mean, because
think about it, those are in there. I mean you
(12:00):
can only imagine, you know, And and and so when
we walked back into the I mean, you know, they
don't care about these things. Into that and to the ICU.
They'd obviously taken her bed to the operating room and back.
There's blood everywhere, you know, I mean like all over
the I mean, you know, because they're they're they're saving
(12:21):
her life, you know, I mean, they they aren't you know, concerned.
They're not concerned about all those things. It took a
while to clean up all the blood. I finally was like,
you think we could like clean up there's blood, but
it was still there. I mean some of it in days.
But they're focused on saving her life. They don't they
don't care about those things, which is what they should
be doing well.
Speaker 6 (12:38):
And I would say even showing up because I'm not
good with blood and at all. And Brittany met me
in the lobby just to like you give him a rundown,
and she's like, for the first probably a couple hours,
like I couldn't get up. I'd have to get up
and then sit down because I would feel faint. And
then I told Amy the same thing, like you're going
(12:59):
to go in there, and it's I mean, emotions are
high also, so throw that into and it's kind of
the same thing. You had to like slowly ease into this, like, Okay,
we're in we're in a war zone, like we're here
to like battle.
Speaker 8 (13:13):
And the first time I saw you, that's all I felt.
Speaker 6 (13:15):
Yeah, you feel kind of like light was heaven, right,
never blood.
Speaker 8 (13:19):
Then that bothers me and I'll walk in the room
and I see you there, and Scott's just you know,
all in talking to the doctors and everything else. Trash
More's doing, Ashley's doing fine.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Right and.
Speaker 6 (13:31):
Each other.
Speaker 8 (13:33):
Anyway, and I see Sella and it's they hadn't form. Yeah,
they hadn't been able to because of the bleeding everything.
They hadn't been able to completely close her up yet,
and so we were waiting twenty four hours just kind
of to see if there was any issues that were.
Speaker 6 (13:46):
Going to happen.
Speaker 8 (13:48):
And I was just like it was the emotion of.
Speaker 6 (13:51):
It's the emotion come and for me combined with the
blood just overwhelming.
Speaker 5 (13:56):
Well, and it was so different than the first one,
like y'all were with. The first one was so easy.
Speaker 8 (14:01):
Yeah, yeah, Yeah, we came into a room and you
were on the event and it was just like walked
out like a week later, ran out.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
And I think the third one is going to be
more like the first one, right, because I think we're
I think there's a proactive plan, you're you're totally ahead
of things, and.
Speaker 5 (14:16):
I think it'll be hopefully like the first one. Yeah,
I mean again, I am worried about the whole like
taking the lungs out to put in the new ones.
So that's why I'm ready, Like I'm mentally preparing myself
to be strong during that time because I really believe
that our minds and like our will is so powerful.
So I'm kind of just you know, having my little
meditations and prayers every once in a while, just like
(14:36):
you will stay alive during the table.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
So, yeah, your mental strength is everything. I mean, her
mental strength is like nothing I can even imagine, you know,
And she definitely is proof that you can will anything anything,
you know, and even I mean the right before she
went into lung failure failure that second time, you know,
(15:00):
she had literally finished her last test.
Speaker 6 (15:02):
She I mean, do you have to go through this
boot camp?
Speaker 4 (15:04):
She's going through the boot camp right now, and like
but at the by the point she got there, it was.
Speaker 8 (15:11):
Like she was passing out.
Speaker 6 (15:13):
Yeah, you know, and she had to do all the tests. Crazy.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
I mean, it's crazy the test, which I understand why.
But we were talking on Marco and I'll never forget
and I still feel really bad about this for all
Marco and like she made it on the list. That
was the day she made on the list, and I
was like, yeah, she had her and I was like,
I'm the last thing I said, So I said, you
(15:37):
know what, You've done everything you can do, you know
what I mean, Like you should be so proud of yourself,
like you've gotten to this point, You've done everything you
can do. Now God takes over, you know, and you
can just relax and and then literally did.
Speaker 5 (15:51):
You know what I'm done? I agree, I'm just gonna
take it like all of peace out, y'all take it
over from.
Speaker 6 (15:56):
Your But that I think was that was her with
the mask.
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Yeah, and it's the sea the sea path thing. Yeah,
well that was stressing me out.
Speaker 6 (16:05):
It was stressing you out, and you said that.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
Ten minutes later they had to call nine one one,
you know I mean. And I think it was just
her being able to like again like her mind.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
Like I was talking with them like trying to be like, well,
not trying, but I was strong for them, and I
was like I can do this. And then I, you know,
I cut the ties. Y'all were gone, and I was
just laying in this like very claustrophobic state, couldn't breathe them.
I was like, you know what, I don't have any
tests tomorrow and call and then I just remember just
being like Scott called on one and he's like what
(16:32):
I was.
Speaker 6 (16:32):
Like, well, I mean because even before the lung transplant,
we were there like in shifts to go through these.
Scott was there, but then he came home and some
of us would be out there. So that was a
test you just did.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Correct. You don't have to do those.
Speaker 5 (16:48):
Right, Like I've done everything, and then I'll go back
and do some repeat stuff.
Speaker 8 (16:52):
But it'll just think, goodness that she's so healthy going
into those tests.
Speaker 6 (16:56):
Right.
Speaker 5 (16:56):
Yeah, it was a whole different.
Speaker 8 (16:57):
It was last time. It was it was the timing
were running out of time and she was just begging
to get in and you know, like I'll do anything,
and we just had to just mow it through real fast,
you know, and get her through all that.
Speaker 6 (17:11):
And this is a different it's different.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Yeah, but it weren't even taking lung functions at that point.
Speaker 5 (17:16):
They were because they were.
Speaker 6 (17:19):
Them at oxygen.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
But I remember that phone call and like talking to
you guys, and then right then you know cutting like
you know, hanging up. And what's interesting is like I
remember like pushing through that conversation because I wanted to
have that conversation. I was like, I got this and
then for then when I realized I didn't have it,
and I told Scott to call nine one one to
show how bad my I.
Speaker 8 (17:41):
Was pretty much dead talking to you guys.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
Because once I know I really was, because once I
got into the ambulance and they were dragging me into
the ambulance, I mean, they were just like, how was
she even I don't know if we can take her
to the hospital, like I don't think we can. They
didn't even know what to do with me because they
didn't think I was going to make it to the hospital.
And that was literally like an hour after talking John,
y'all know her was talking. I was like, guys, we
can do this, and that just shows you how strong
(18:05):
our minds are.
Speaker 9 (18:05):
To kind.
Speaker 6 (18:08):
Like I know, I don't want my fingerpricked.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
And again I always say this, we all have it
in this and you have to believe in yourself. And
that's why I'm going into the third one really believing
into my strength and believing in our support system and
my faith.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
And Okay, but let me ask you something. So, how
are we making sure that you don't do that again?
Speaker 5 (18:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:29):
So, how like are you going to be able to
admitted sooner because this is all you because you are
You're right, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, but I
feel like there is a point where you maybe should
not wait. Well, right, I know.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
It's it's a hard again. It's that hard balance. And
there's times in the days there's like how am I
doing this? You know? And I'm like should I be
going to do right now? But then I'll go to
bed and I'll wake up and I'm like, okay, I'm
a little more refreshed and restored. I'm blowing like twenty
eight percent. Like so that's another thing is I monitor
my peak flow every day and it's pretty low. So
(19:09):
I I mean, I think when it gets to twenty five,
I'm going to be like, okay, instead of waiting till December,
I'm gonna just go because they told me to call
them when they think I'm ready, and you're right, like,
I really have to assess me, and because I don't
want to go too early because then once I'm there,
I'm there and then for a while. And so I'm like,
(19:31):
if I can hold off and still be with my kids,
and I mean, I'm still doing school things and helping
Mitch with his Science Fair project and you know, helping
Bella write essays for college. Like I'm still a mom
and the minute I go to Duke, I will have
to go into robot mode and I have to leave
my life behind. But short like so that can go
(19:52):
back to my life. You know, It'll be a short
stint hopefully, and so yeah, it's a daily assessment.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Well, and I think the second one was also different
because you were like here, we kind of thought you
were going to get it done at Baylor, and you
were very so the second was just kind of not
spur of the moment, but just like, oh, okay, we
found you found Phoenix. I'm not going to say we,
but you found you know, so it went.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
Quick, but I were playing catchup.
Speaker 6 (20:21):
You were playing right, right, But I think for what
you know, I think even in September October, we were
still thinking Baylor may do your second so come November
when Phoenix was like, oh you can come here, so
I think here, you have more of a plant along.
You've been planning longer than then.
Speaker 8 (20:40):
This is definitely like the best situation, right, right, that
we could have asked for, right and that it's almost
like you have the autonomy or the decision to make
and say, you know, this is the time I want
to do this, you know, and you'll know that time.
Speaker 6 (20:54):
But yeah, yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 5 (20:56):
Think it's I mean, because I'm still y'all. Remember last time,
I mean y'all a wheelchair me test a test. I
remember when I would I would start having panic attacks
because I could breathe, and Ashley read that you could
put ice in that, so she would hand me my
ice to help me not panic. I'm literally suffocating. I mean,
I'm like, I feel like I have a plastic bag
over my head and I'm not at that point right.
(21:18):
But then but then it's like, but I am in
some ways.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
So that's when it goes back to like she can
only do like a self assessment and just know that
God is going to show her when it's time, because
there's just it's just such a you know, astronomical thing
to even you know, I mean, like how does this
all line up?
Speaker 6 (21:38):
And how?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
And so I think she is really good as much
as she like is strong, and like, you know, she's
so good at knowing her body, you know, like I
mean she knows. I mean, I'm so not in tune
with my body, you know what I mean, Like I
could have like my leg could be bleeding and pregnant.
Speaker 8 (21:58):
I don't know, but multiple crazies.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Obviously so tuned with her body and always has been,
has always been been, so you know, yeah, but sometimes
too she has to like write right, like write it
down because she'll forget day to day, you know what
I mean, like what how am I feeling today?
Speaker 1 (22:19):
And how am I feeling?
Speaker 9 (22:20):
Said?
Speaker 5 (22:20):
We did that one year in college, like when I
had the tumor less journal all the sunder I remember.
Speaker 6 (22:24):
I remember we were.
Speaker 5 (22:25):
Laying we were in the apartment, and you were like okay.
She was like a doctor, chat her notebook out and
she's like, how do you feel? I was like, well,
it was really hard to tie my shoes today, I
mean really, and I remember thinking I could not even
tie my shoes. You're like okay. So we were like okay,
you know, and just trying to.
Speaker 6 (22:45):
Figure out we're both like nineteen years old.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
But then it goes to show you how we're all
in this like robot mode. Remember Nutcracker esophag So this
is a funny story. Who I don't even remember what.
Speaker 8 (22:57):
I was going to bring that up earlier, but I
was like.
Speaker 5 (22:59):
No, he was you and I right, yeah.
Speaker 8 (23:04):
It was Ashley.
Speaker 5 (23:06):
What do you call her?
Speaker 6 (23:10):
What doctor was that?
Speaker 8 (23:12):
It was at Okay, we had a.
Speaker 5 (23:16):
So we we were funny and we.
Speaker 8 (23:18):
Think things were like it was hoping. They gave us
the results and so.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
We're kind of, you know, we can be immature, you
have to be and at that time, so we all
explained the story, but she was diagnosing something like so
I'm getting cut open so much that basically my esopha is.
Speaker 6 (23:32):
I didn't have to put something down your throat for a.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
While or yeah, I mean there was these tests. I
had to do this awful test and they diagnosed that
my esophagus when I try to drink sometimes will close up.
But there's a name for it. And Brittany's taking are
you taking notes or his ash taking notes?
Speaker 8 (23:47):
I remember I think Brittany's.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
Taking notes and she's like, okay, nutcracker esophagus. And then
I think we get out of the meeting and we're
talking and Bertie's like, yeah she has like nutcracker. Scott
got It's like wait what and then we're like yeah nutcrackers,
Like ye do something like we all realized like, oh,
that's funny.
Speaker 8 (24:10):
I was like, how did I not crack up when
they said that? Because when we're so in robot mode
of like trying to take notes and figure it out,
I'm on normal, you would like, yeah, you know, it
would have gone downhill fast.
Speaker 6 (24:25):
But anyway, when it went downhill fast later, yeah, because because.
Speaker 5 (24:29):
Scott was like, did you just say nutcrackers?
Speaker 4 (24:32):
You're saying my wife has a nutcracker? Like what, I'm like,
that's what they said. I don't know.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
We're just a very serious condition and not like knocking
it down like it does suck, like I'll take drinks
and but it's funny.
Speaker 9 (24:44):
But because I never heard that, because I have it,
so I was like, of course, so and those are
again moments you just have to make it funny, you
know what I mean, Like, you just have to make
it funny because I brought it up because it was
you would just be you know's.
Speaker 6 (24:58):
Loving that you brought it up.
Speaker 8 (25:02):
It was literally was reading the note for God.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
I want to know what you call Oh, we have
names for all.
Speaker 6 (25:11):
I have a lot of names, but all these don't
get on the.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Well, yeah, she's always called me trash Moore.
Speaker 8 (25:19):
I think when she was little she got called Ashley
trash with a big red rash and so then it
was like trashly because her name was Ashley, and then
it just ended up being trash Moore.
Speaker 6 (25:30):
So I don't know, and her that religious, she's like
so like grais didn't put together and like not nothing
like that.
Speaker 8 (25:41):
That's not so funny. She's so not.
Speaker 6 (25:43):
Trash more, but I am. I do have trash more moments.
Speaker 5 (25:50):
And then they call me Beast, which seems so normal
to us. People were like, why did they call you beast?
And I'm like, yeah, beast, my name's Beast, so beast
is mine beast you? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (26:02):
And Amy was Webster because she's so smart and she
is a dictionary.
Speaker 6 (26:09):
Yeah yeah, I was calling mom gave me that name.
I think my mom did Amy Webb.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
And I always called Courney Casey because Corney cargile. But yeah,
we just have They probably are a little inappropriate sometimes.
Speaker 6 (26:28):
I mean Ashley's is probably great always what just my name?
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Yeah, I definitely keep them laughing, just with like my
daily grind, daily like just random things.
Speaker 5 (26:44):
That happened to me, because she is so put together.
Speaker 6 (26:49):
Is a Marco when she came out from nails. Yeah,
she got really dark.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
So Marco, do you guys know what Marco is? Sparko,
I don't even know. It's still it's a big thing.
Speaker 8 (27:03):
So we had to pay for now, so we had
to like but we're too cheap for that.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Yeah, Like it's like a video, it's a video text.
Speaker 6 (27:13):
You can so you don't have to be live. You
don't know, I could be, but hake it and simply
it's like your face, you know, or what you're looking at.
You can show anybody and you.
Speaker 8 (27:22):
Can change voices on it.
Speaker 6 (27:23):
You can change your voice.
Speaker 8 (27:24):
Trash Moore would go macho voice and that's what would
make it just even.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
But like we introduced that very dark time she was
in the hospital, the hospital we couldn't go, we couldn't
go see her, and we found this is a way
that like lay eyes on each other, it keeps money.
Speaker 6 (27:41):
Blessing, worrying.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
That journey it was and I will never forget, Like
when uh soul went dark, wasn't on it, you know
what I mean? It couldn't because she couldn't because she
was obviously in lung filure, you know, for her life.
But like she wasn't on it for good. I don't
know how many days, and then I'll never forget. I
was there the day that in the hospital that I
put her back on Marco and they were just like.
Speaker 8 (28:06):
That beach ball comes up on the phone and it
says on Marco or whatever.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
And I was like, oh, like we didn't think, we
didn't know if we'd ever see it any Yeah, yeah,
and hear your voice and just to see you.
Speaker 6 (28:17):
I was just like, But it was also a great
way when we were in Phoenix to also show the
others like what is what you're doing or where you go,
and so it was very helpful because you can text it,
but seeing something or seeing their face is always helpful.
So it was probably a game changer during the second transplant,
(28:40):
I would agree.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
And now you guys touched a little bit on it earlier,
but I see you psychosis? Is that was that ever
a thing that I heard about that before? Like, were
you really the stuff happens that is like almost out
of body.
Speaker 8 (28:59):
Like you were there for three days.
Speaker 7 (29:00):
But it felt like we experienced her that she experienced.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Yeah, y'all, I feel like y'all can experience you know,
the hair, can we talk about the hair.
Speaker 5 (29:09):
There's lots of things that y'all did to me.
Speaker 6 (29:12):
But this is an example of the psychosis.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (29:14):
Well then because you were there, Brittany and I were there.
Speaker 8 (29:16):
Yeah, and so Selah and look at her beautiful hair,
like okay.
Speaker 6 (29:21):
And she loves her hair and she has hair since
her whole life. She brushed her hair in seventh grade
launching and hair and the table.
Speaker 5 (29:32):
Wait and wait two minutes, the two minutes and you'd
go and I'd say two minutes before the bellow rings
have like okay, got to start my leg.
Speaker 6 (29:38):
And she'd brush her hair at the end of one.
Speaker 5 (29:40):
Again. That was what I could control. It was I mean,
I know now I look at it, it's a coping mechanism.
Speaker 6 (29:47):
I could only control, right, But if you know how
much she loves her hair, then this story.
Speaker 8 (29:51):
So post surgery, she had apparently, you know, doing surgery,
she had a bunch of trobes there when they put
them on, you know, okay, Yeah, so they were all
all there and there's you've got the gunk and all
this stuff, and you know, it's been a while, and
so the nurse was trying to wash her hair and
she's like, oh, I've just got this big thing here.
I just don't know if I can get it out.
(30:11):
I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, just give
me it up. So one rend of Walgreens and I
get like, because the hospital stuff is like crap. So
go to Walgreens and we get you all.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
You and actually got this stuff.
Speaker 8 (30:21):
First.
Speaker 6 (30:22):
Y'all got the conditioner and comb.
Speaker 5 (30:23):
We got the tools, and again I don't know what's.
Speaker 8 (30:26):
No, she is no, So we're working. I mean, we
worked on that forever days.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
It was a huge knot.
Speaker 8 (30:32):
It was a nod that was not coming out, and
it was big, big, and Courtney and I she looked
at us. I said, we're gonna have to cut it out.
Speaker 6 (30:42):
The nurse told us.
Speaker 9 (30:43):
Oh.
Speaker 6 (30:43):
The nurse was like, someone's got to cut it.
Speaker 8 (30:45):
Oh that's right.
Speaker 6 (30:46):
Britty and I look at each other and I'm like,
I'm not cutting her hair. Take cutting her hair.
Speaker 8 (30:51):
And I looked at you and I was like, don't
you ever till her I cut her hair. And so anyway,
this feeds into what you were hearing.
Speaker 6 (31:00):
Like the next day, she got mad at me, like
I was up taking care of her, and I touched
her hand and she like pulled her hand away, and
she wouldn't.
Speaker 5 (31:07):
Let me because I thought you were cutting my head off.
Speaker 6 (31:09):
And she thought I had in her hand.
Speaker 5 (31:10):
Remember this, No, But the only thing I remember is
the delusional experience that I'm having, like the I'm I guess,
I don't know what's going on, but I coming in
my mind. In my mind, I'm hearing voices and.
Speaker 8 (31:22):
Talking about cutting, and I hear scissors.
Speaker 5 (31:25):
And I would hear heads drop and I would hear corny,
and so I was, of course that would you know,
cut my head off?
Speaker 6 (31:33):
For sure?
Speaker 5 (31:34):
She had planned she was playing and cutting my head off.
Speaker 6 (31:37):
And other people's heads and people that I've done it
to other people in the hospital and you're pissed, and
I was.
Speaker 8 (31:44):
We didn't put any of that together till like almost
six months later.
Speaker 5 (31:47):
Talk about it well, and I will say, y'all never
told me that you'll cut my.
Speaker 6 (31:51):
Hair, really did.
Speaker 8 (31:55):
We had to cut it, and I was it was
going to get worse.
Speaker 6 (31:58):
It was awful.
Speaker 5 (31:59):
Well, and they never told me, and I was too
hair and I was like, babe, why do why do
I have like a hole right here? And it was
like just like scalp, like He's like, oh, baby, you
had a lot of I mean because I had scars,
but I don't. I still have scars and I don't
even know from what. Yeah, And he was like, oh, well,
the girls, I'm going to tell you each little hair.
(32:22):
I was very particular about like.
Speaker 6 (32:24):
Getting as far away from like keeping it as long
as all and as.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Soon as she could be get in a chair. We
were straightening her hair and oh, yes, for her, you know.
And I remember the nurse being like, we love those nurses.
They were so kind that being like they've never seen
anything a straightener.
Speaker 8 (32:41):
In the icy.
Speaker 6 (32:42):
Oh yeah, I'm like, here we are.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Well.
Speaker 5 (32:46):
I love how that y'all disappeased me. Like you know,
I'm sure like.
Speaker 8 (32:50):
It was important to you, and that's what was important
to us, you know what I mean. And whatever made
you feel good is what we wanted, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
And we were trying to calm her, and we try
to play song.
Speaker 8 (33:00):
She liked, Oh not the Kesha.
Speaker 6 (33:02):
I played the Kesha song. It was like the middle.
It had to be the ale of the night because
we were setting alarms. Oceans work, but she worked. She
listened to Oceans, but there was a Kesha song she
was listening to before she went to Phoenix and she
loved it. So I was like, okay, well we've played
Oceans for days, so like, just get the Kesha. And
her eyes just popped up and she looked at me
and I was like, oh, it was like and I
(33:23):
sat down. I was like, don't play Kesha. It's not
a good idea.
Speaker 5 (33:26):
I didn't. I don't remember this, but I thought, did
y'all tell me that? I like literally thought it was
like the Devil music.
Speaker 6 (33:31):
They were like, that's the Devil, you know, like Devil.
I think I was so dissh just sing Kesha, but
well you did not like that song. And I was like,
note to self, everyone, don't play Kesha, just stay with Oceans.
Speaker 5 (33:46):
I mean, I think that's a testament to how Christian
music really can help you in situations, because I think
I think I was just hanging out honestly, probably in heaven.
But no, no, no, she's not going to ruin my
time here, and so I mean, yeah, for me, just like, well,
let's give.
Speaker 6 (34:04):
Her some variety.
Speaker 8 (34:06):
Why not go back to the Oceans.
Speaker 6 (34:09):
Or Pride and Prejudice. It is over it by the
time I got there.
Speaker 8 (34:14):
Yeah, It's like I don't she'd come out a little
bit more.
Speaker 6 (34:17):
This was she was still definitely not oh, not together.
Speaker 7 (34:22):
One night she thought that her dogs were in a
very hot car.
Speaker 6 (34:25):
The dogs are in the car. The dogs are in
the car.
Speaker 7 (34:27):
She would like have these moments of of just like fears, right,
random fears that would pop up, which I guess is understandable.
You're in a super scary place and you don't know
what's going on.
Speaker 6 (34:39):
And you've lost time.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Yeah, it's coming off the drug, right, which was a
lot of the psychosis, yes, steroids.
Speaker 6 (34:46):
Well, and they told you that before you went in
that a lot of this would happen. Because then we
fired that doctor.
Speaker 8 (34:53):
Oh I wasn't going to bring that up.
Speaker 5 (34:54):
And then I was like, I wasn't there a doctor
that could claimed that I was a vegetable or yah,
I have very He was very dark.
Speaker 6 (35:02):
Remember I sat next year. I was like, who's that man? Shady? Really?
Yeah he did.
Speaker 8 (35:08):
He just didn't need to be in there.
Speaker 6 (35:09):
I feel like it was very negative energy that she
felt that.
Speaker 5 (35:14):
Yeah, yeah, because I remember that too, but in a
different way.
Speaker 6 (35:18):
It was awful. It was like a moment in my
life that I will not that I have never said
I've felt.
Speaker 8 (35:26):
Evil evil, think you what and real.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
So you felt?
Speaker 5 (35:31):
I remember y'all telling me this, but y'all felt like
he came in to like still.
Speaker 6 (35:36):
Still the hope.
Speaker 8 (35:39):
Well you said through the window.
Speaker 6 (35:42):
I saw him through the window, because in the ICU,
it's a big room, but there's a window, you know,
over to the right where her nurse would always sit.
And that man he walked by, Well there's windows right here.
He walked by the windows. I was like, who's that man?
He was in a suit.
Speaker 8 (35:54):
He wasn't your regular doctor.
Speaker 6 (35:55):
He was not a regular doctor. And every other person
that came in was in scrubs. And I was like, Brittany,
who's man? He just said at SOA's desk and we're
just watching him and watching him. And remember he came
in and he was like yelling miss very talking loud,
I guess, but we were it was very calm, quiet room.
We weren't talking even at this level. And he remember,
(36:16):
he was like miss Mitchell, Miss Mitchell, do you hear me?
And she could not respond to member. He asked her
to do you feel my feet? He rubbed her feet
and then he told her to lift her arms from
She didn't he goes see see and then he said
do you have her husband? And Brittany said, I'll get
him on the phone, and Brittany called Scott. I don't
(36:41):
I guess Scott talked to him. Yeah, and then Scott
called you back and.
Speaker 5 (36:45):
But he's diagnosed me as a vegetable, right yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 8 (36:48):
He was like, there's nothing here there she she can't
respond to anything, and she will be like forever. He
sat over and you said, no, no, he came back,
came back and you said you talked to me.
Speaker 5 (36:59):
I think you were like, I trained, trained, I remember
you tell me. You were like, soa, yeah, you will
do Brittany.
Speaker 6 (37:08):
Scott told Brittany that it was that Saul was going
to be like that forever. And I mean we're in
this room, we haven't slept in days, and we were
both like that's not true. And we called we went
out seeing her. We got called Ashley and we're I
think we were like on our knees praying and Ashley's like,
don't let him steal our hope, and we were like yes,
(37:28):
I was like he's the devil. Yeah, he's come to steal.
Speaker 5 (37:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (37:31):
He was dark, he was very dark.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
I was like, and we can't.
Speaker 6 (37:34):
We can't let them do that. And so we went
back and for a day. He was coming back the
next day, and for a day Brittany and I trained Sea.
We would like lay there and like rub her head
and like tell her, soa a man is going to
come back and he's going to ask you to do
these things and you're going to have to do them.
You have to do them, and did it. When he
(37:56):
came back in, Brittany went up and talked to him
and I lean down. I was like, he is here,
and we're going to do this, and she did it
all No, it was crazy, it was.
Speaker 8 (38:03):
And then at the end of it, you go, I
love you.
Speaker 6 (38:05):
I love him, And that's what she kept saying to
him and you.
Speaker 5 (38:08):
And so my memory is that there was a very
bad spirit in my presence. I don't remember this at all,
but I remember I can tie things together in my perspective,
and there was a very bad evil presence. And in
my mind I felt like if I could just tell
him that I love him, but he should be okay
and he would release whatever this hold he has, Like
(38:32):
he needed to be told that he that I loved
him and that and I'm sure he probably thought I
was crazy because I was like, I love you, that's all.
Speaker 6 (38:39):
She would say, that's no way.
Speaker 5 (38:40):
Yeah, and I and the only memory I have it
that because when you'll tell me stories and I tie
him to out what I thought at the time, I
remember having this someone was tapping on me and and
I would just be like, I love you, it's okay.
Speaker 6 (38:54):
But he kept yelling her name, miss Mitchell, and like
we did not call her miss Mitchell, like we called
her sella or beast or anything, and like he was
just miss. He was yelling. I mean, I don't think
he was yelling, but it was very loud. It was condescending.
It was condescending, thank you.
Speaker 8 (39:10):
Yeah, it was pretty much like.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
I wish we could go find him today.
Speaker 6 (39:15):
Well, I do believe after that, Scott, I never saw
him again. No, Scott called and said, I never want
that man in my wife's rightfully so rightfully so advocating again. Yeah,
and he wasn't even in Phoenix, I think, or he
may have been in Phoenix, but I don't know.
Speaker 8 (39:33):
That was a very the only kind of darkness I
ever saw with anything.
Speaker 6 (39:39):
With anything, and I can still feel it to this day. Yeah,
it's it's crazy.
Speaker 5 (39:43):
Right, because I really do believe when I think back
at all this time, I always feel like I was
surrounded by light.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (39:48):
I always felt even though I don't remember things, I
always felt at peace and calm. Maybe not even maybe
I didn't show it from my actions, but I like,
when I think back, everything was very peaceful because y'all
created that environment through prayer, through ocean. Yeah, so that again,
there's all, there's a there was all those little stories
(40:08):
that are.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
Just like the night of when I was there after
Scott had gone home, you know, and I told him
his wife was gonna go home, and then that they called. Well,
Scott stayed home and slept that night. So I just
prayed over her the entire night night Like I did
not sleep. We just I just prayed over her. And
she was not at all communicating. And then it was
about an hour before she went out. And I don't
(40:31):
know who gave you the cross, the hand cross.
Speaker 5 (40:35):
I wouldn't cross that.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
She she would hold it. And I leaned down and
I and I she had not made any movement. I
tried to talk to her and I just said, listen
when you get in there, and you're scared. Remember, you
just have to say Jesus's name in your head and
he's there.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
You know.
Speaker 4 (40:52):
I mean, you don't have to pray, like, just say
his name. And she just looked at me and she
was like, you know, and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:00):
And I think one other thing I did say that
Scott told me, because y'all were, I had completely separated
myself from my children in my head because the only
way to survive this would be too not have any
type of guilt. And he said that, I said to him,
I hadn't said anything, but I just said, tell the
children I love them. So it's interesting that your present
(41:21):
and your mind is all there. But I kind of
do think I was just hanging out in heaven.
Speaker 4 (41:27):
I'm protecting yourself, right, And I think I remember Scott
saying to me, I'm so glad she said that about
the kids. And I said, oh, she knows, but she
can't talk about it because it hurts too bad, right,
you know. I mean like when you're in fight mode,
like right, you can't let your head go anywhere but
(41:47):
just the fight, yeah, you know.
Speaker 5 (41:48):
And I think to be like when I went into
the table on the table, I really think that y'all
had prepared my spirit to be ready for the table,
because I don't think I was supposed to survive the table.
I really don't. I mean I think, like you'll sell
the blood everywhere, and like y'all, I mean I think
I might, like, physically, on my own, I would not
have been able to survive the table. But when you
(42:08):
add the prayer and the fight.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
And her mental strength, yeah right, and her faith and
her faith yeah, and the doctors and we love the doctors.
Speaker 5 (42:18):
Of course, could not do it another but I think
I was. I was trying to help them out a little,
just a little bit.
Speaker 6 (42:24):
I think sometimes she even amazes doctors every day.
Speaker 5 (42:28):
Well, there was definitely stories just from a physical perspective.
Speaker 6 (42:32):
And remember we went to the eye doctor and we
were there four hours.
Speaker 5 (42:37):
It was exhausting.
Speaker 6 (42:38):
It's so tiring. She just had to get her eyes checked.
And this lady wanted to hear her whole story for
four hours.
Speaker 5 (42:44):
And so when I were like we just wanted we
have it from from a perspective, they're just like, wait what,
And she.
Speaker 6 (42:50):
She wanted to know everything. So she was very nice,
but we were there for a long time.
Speaker 5 (42:58):
Yeah, my story is not a short tell.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Your story is amazing, and I hope that we get
to hear all the details of all the you come
back after.
Speaker 6 (43:13):
We'll be here to tell another story.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Yeah, so I didn't get to tell you, guys, but
the studio has to end at seven instead of eight.
We had, like a, we had a great, great, great time.
And is there anything else that anyone wants to say?
Speaker 4 (43:34):
Just thank you for sharing her story, now, you know,
I mean, like that's I think we're really protective of Sela,
you know, as you can tell, and like, you know, I.
Speaker 6 (43:43):
Just love that you guys.
Speaker 4 (43:44):
I can tell you're really concerned, you know, not curious,
you know what I mean, and that you want this
to to go out in the right way, and we
appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
And so I don't know if Sella told you, but
the whole idea came because she had somebody said she
should write a book, and then she had posted that
she felt like she's running out of time. So that's
how I came up with the idea to record it
in chapters and to have someone write a book in
(44:15):
the end, which we don't know when that is. There
can be so many chapters added, so there's no end
time this. We do this podcast because we love to
do it. We care about people's stories, and that's really
all that this is about. This was an idea I
had that I've never done it before, but I know
we can figure it out together. So I think that
(44:38):
that's important. And I feel this is an amazing group
of people and I feel blessed you have come on
the show and we are going to do it lots more.
I still want to do. I want to do chapters
with your children and your parents and the doctors and
the nurses. That we have a lot to do a lot.
(44:58):
So you got to get out. I'll be back, yes, So,
but anybody else say anything. You guys take the thank you,
thank you that you believe you guys for sharing, thank
you for coming. Yeah, thank you for flying. I would
not have missed.
Speaker 6 (45:15):
This gives her a good reason to go to eat.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Yes, you guys, go eat after.
Speaker 7 (45:22):
I look for any small reason to come down to
come and see all their faces.
Speaker 4 (45:28):
I bet.
Speaker 7 (45:28):
I mean, was a great it's amazing, a great reason.
I just thank you both for.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
No, thank you guys for coming, for coming. It's amazing.
It's very very blessing inspiration on so many levels is
for me unbelievable. And I have a group of friends
just like you guys in Austria, and I don't get
to see them because I live here, but always in
(45:53):
my heart the same also from since we were very young.
So I can relate to all of you so much
and it makes me tiary because it's very very rare.
So yeah, I thank all of you so much. Absolutely,
thank you and Heil, thank you for listening.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Listeners, and if you haven't listened to Selah's first episodes,
I don't know the numbers I think, but she did
tell her story with her husband.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
Yes, you need to go back. And if we're not
even done releasing all those chapters, we have still I
think two more chapters of that and then we'll cut
this up in many chapters. So thank you.
Speaker 6 (46:34):
We can't wait.
Speaker 9 (46:36):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I'm Olivia Gooley.
Speaker 5 (46:38):
I'm one of the gossip girls here at tupash Podcasts.
You can find me on Instagram at Liv's World and
if you need me, I'll be crying in my Bentley.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
I'm Marcella, co host of the Tupash podcast. You can
find me on all social media platforms Marcellainary. You can
also find me on TikTok Marcella Roinary seven and say
whatever the fuck I want.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Yeah, my name is Cruz Koffer.
Speaker 3 (47:04):
You can find me on Instagram and that's pretty much it,
and let's do some tequila together on the next show.
Speaker 1 (47:13):
If you enjoy listening to our show, please follow tupash
podcast on all social media handles and tell all your
family and friends about it. And tupash podcast is on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook,
and Twitter. Also, don't hesitate to leave us a review, comments, feedback,
or ask us any questions and follow me on my
personal social media on Instagram at Gabby dot Talks and
(47:37):
Facebook at Gabrielle Kindler, Gilmour and I Have No Secret.
Thank you for listening.
Speaker 4 (47:44):
Thank you,
Welcome to the Tupash Podcast. I am Gabrielle. I'm a
former New York Mafia princess originally from Austria. I am
the mother of three and the owner of Tupash boutique.
And here with my beautiful co host Masella, my daughter.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hello, I'm Marcella. I'm a dancer, choreographer, model and designer
for Tupash and I say whatever I want.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
My name is Cruz. I am a stylist. I also
own the Society Salon in the Design District and I
am a short, little Mexican with the big personality. What
will they say next? Welcome to the Tupash Podcast.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
I mean, I think for me having been a part
of this friendship, and I do think Selah is a
big part of the friendship in the sense of the
closeness and titaness we have.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
But I think I create situations where we have to.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
But I can't teach people how to be friends, right,
you know what I mean. It's just like we've had
such experiences together that it's just, you know, made us
better friends, you know, through those experiences. And I say
the same thing about her amazing children. I mean, like
her children are amazing in every sense of the word.
(01:27):
And it's because they have lived a life that has
taught them things that other kids don't get. And they're
all really good things, you know, and they are and
I mean there's I mean, they come they're going to
go into the world with such a perspective and such
faith that my kids won't see, you know, And I mean,
(01:47):
I don't know. I think that's why it's hard too
for me. I mean, I tell my kids friends all
the time. I do not pray for your husband's I
pray for your friends. If you have good friends, you
will find the right person to marry, You will find
the right job, you will find the right faith. I
just want everyone to have and you know that, I know,
(02:09):
to have really solid friends. And I don't think we
realized it was not normal, you know what I mean.
I mean, I'm not trying to say, oh, you know,
everyone has friends, but like I didn't realize growing up that,
you know, until I started making other friends and being like, oh, wow,
sometimes you're unconditional.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
But they're not.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
They're not, you know, And then you become completely drained,
right because you're giving everything and you you know, you're
not getting that back and so but like I said earlier,
she's changed every part of my life, you know, and
for the better. And I'm just thankful that God chows
us m hm.
Speaker 6 (02:45):
Well, that he created this friendship or many reasons, not
just for Selah, I mean for all of us.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
So it's very rare. Yeah, I'm never very very very
very rare. And they're thankful.
Speaker 6 (03:02):
You're so thankful.
Speaker 7 (03:04):
I think it's something you're at an age now where
you can value it even more, like we've always had
it as the safety net is how so it explains it.
But you know, I always knew everybody goes through those
rough and frustrating times in junior high, in high school,
(03:25):
you know, the mean girls did this, that, that, any
any of it right, And I always just felt safer,
felt better, felt I knew that I had my girls
right and it wasn't going to be like some stupid
fight over any little small thing that was ever going
(03:46):
to break the fabric. And I what security that is, right,
because I know I see my niece, I see all
these young girls. I see that you worry about, like, you.
Speaker 6 (04:00):
Know, competing with other people, yes, and jealousy. It's hard.
Speaker 7 (04:05):
Everybody knows it's not easy to navigate.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Nobody has said any the girls, it never ends and.
Speaker 8 (04:14):
Get better at it.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I think women will be in an old age home
fighting each other.
Speaker 8 (04:20):
It doesn't there's only one of him, any of them.
Speaker 7 (04:27):
But you see those phrases now where it's like, you know,
you should only be adding things to your life, you know,
like should let the drain the suck, let that go, right,
And how blessed are we that we've just always had this.
Now we've feed it, you know, like you don't just
leave a friendship and then you definitely grow and nurture it.
(04:51):
But we're just so incredibly blessed to have had this amazing.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Feel all your energy, all you like everybody, that's why
you have this, because it's you were really I feel
like meant to be together.
Speaker 5 (05:07):
And I draw on that energy. Yes, like when I
am in a coma, lying in the hospital bed dying,
I know their presence is what is lifting me up,
and that energy is.
Speaker 8 (05:17):
Exactly what keeps me alive and all of the different aspects,
like Courtney and I have a whole different relationship than
I have with Amy, you know, like it's just it's
really just well and.
Speaker 6 (05:30):
Even Brittany and I have a different relationship because I
didn't go to Baylor with them, so Brittany and I
weren't as close. I mean, they all lived together, and
so Brittany and I didn't get closer till maybe in
our twenty you know, even after that. So it's changed.
Our friendship changes as we get older and involved and evolved.
(05:53):
And there was never any jealousy, you know, like with
when you for Brittany.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Was so well.
Speaker 6 (06:02):
Brittany and I make a good power couple.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
I try to teach my daughters that too, because it's
like we're so different, you know, and like so I
am much more reserved, you know, and I think we
all play a different role in the friendship. So it
would have been easy for me to get jealous of
Sola because she's so bubbly and you know, people annoyed
in a good way, you know, and she can just
walk into her room and everything. And I talk to
(06:29):
my kids now and I'm like, no, that's an amazing thing, right,
You're supposed to have someone different, because she made my
life so much easier to tag along with her. You know,
everybody the extrovert, like you can't be jealous of those things.
You have to embrace them because they make you.
Speaker 6 (06:45):
Better appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
You appreciate it, like, yeah, oh my gosh, I don't know.
Speaker 6 (06:54):
I haven't seen that a long time, but I haven't either.
That is such.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Because that's it. They remind me of mine. Yeah, you're
awes It's it's rare, but it does happen, and when
you find them, it's incredible. And then when they can
become friends together, like because you started with somebody and
then everybody becomes friends so special.
Speaker 8 (07:18):
And that's what you want. You want, you want people
to have great friendships. Yeah, I desire that for my kids.
I that for everybody, especially women, because it's very important
and I really I feel like it's sad sometimes that's
not the norm, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
I agree, and friendships break apart such over.
Speaker 8 (07:40):
And it's hurtful, you know, and it can really change
the whole outlook on things.
Speaker 6 (07:44):
So I don't know.
Speaker 8 (07:45):
I just I'm thankful and I want that for everybody, everybody.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Yeah. Yeah, And we're all ready for this third transplants
and it's gonna go smooth, right it is.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
We know how to do it.
Speaker 8 (08:00):
We're in the perfect place and we know the drool.
Speaker 9 (08:03):
Yeah, I just look out duke.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Did they know about all the Yeah?
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Well, it's actually funny because they did ask. I know,
they did ask. You know, They're like, okay, so who
is your support group? And obviously Scott will be the
first one. And then and I was like, well then
I have you know, Ashley Corney, Amy Britt And they're
just like wait what And I was like, well, do
you want all their numbers? And so like I had
to give them all one of y'all's numbers and to
(08:31):
the it was to the social worker, who was normal by.
Speaker 8 (08:35):
The way, very few of us around.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Well we have a funny story about social worker. But anyways,
I mean, we love all the social workers.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
They do pretty much everything for us, but there are
some funny stories.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Well she was awesome. That was what made up so awesome.
Speaker 8 (08:51):
She did everything for us, but no rules.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
Yeah, no rules. But yeah. So I was basically giving
them all of y'all's names and just explaining, well, what
will probably happen is they're going to take shifts and
they'll come, you know, because again I can't be by myself.
They won't let me even though I'm like, I can
do this. I'm like, actually, no, I can't, but I
have to always have a caretaker. And obviously Scott can't
just be in North Carolina forever. I mean, he's so good.
(09:17):
What he's what y'all give him is he can have
his own business and thrive and do so well because
he has you guys, so he doesn't have to worry
about me, you know. But so yeah, we just I
gave him all y'all's contact information, and so just be
ready for a call because I think she has to
approve y'all or.
Speaker 6 (09:34):
I just wonder if it'll be different. I was going
to say, this is a post COVID, you know world
and out of the ICU, like no identification. Yeah, we
lived there there.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
Back back and attorney like wipe down in the bathroom
and I was like, do not bring a suitcase, Do
just bring a backpack and.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
Y'all lives off the vending machines and our refer day
old pizza.
Speaker 6 (10:01):
Yeah that we.
Speaker 8 (10:04):
I didn't even know it was three days later.
Speaker 6 (10:06):
I go, oh, we didn't know dark in there, so
you I mean you it's kind of like being in
vagas no clue of like time, because you're in a
room like this that is just constant. You know, you're
just constantly monitoring, so you lose track of like, oh
it's been three days, okay, wow, because you're up through
(10:26):
the night too. I mean you're not just through the
day and get to sleep from you know, nine pm
to seven am and get a great you know, ten hours.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
It's whatever I say, right, I mean at.
Speaker 6 (10:38):
The beginning, we would set alarms, yeah, for like every
ten minutes. I would set mine for ten minutes and
then she I would get up and then she would
set her alarm for ten minutes.
Speaker 8 (10:46):
Like I need any one hour to sleep. All I
needs an hour? Yeah, I can take them sleeping pill,
knock out an hour and then I can get up
and them.
Speaker 6 (10:53):
Because she would see if she was like breathing and
check her numbers. It was ten to fifteen minutes, is all.
You would lay down to fifteen and you were in
a seat.
Speaker 8 (11:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (11:02):
I mean it's like a bench, a bench and you
put chair your feet. She had so many machines and
you know, I mean, I mean it's not like you're
in a luxury hospital room. It's a nice U room.
And we had with Scott and you're on the phone.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
You know, what I mean, Scott is like, you know,
it's not like it was us just you know, I mean.
Speaker 6 (11:22):
Scott's checking all the numbers and yeah, He's like, get
me in Rundown, what's happening right now? And you just
sat on the bench and slept with your feet up
and would take turns getting up every ten to fifteen minutes.
Speaker 8 (11:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (11:35):
Is that mean the machines had blood all over it?
That was after surgery.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
So this, I mean, I don't know how many. I
don't know what I mean. If we don't want to
share this, you can tell. But like so the night
that she got lungs on for the second transplant, it
was crazy how long they operated on her just to
get the old lungs out, you know, I mean, because
think about it, those are in there. I mean you
(12:00):
can only imagine, you know, And and and so when
we walked back into the I mean, you know, they
don't care about these things. Into that and to the ICU.
They'd obviously taken her bed to the operating room and back.
There's blood everywhere, you know, I mean like all over
the I mean, you know, because they're they're they're saving
(12:21):
her life, you know, I mean, they they aren't you know, concerned.
They're not concerned about all those things. It took a
while to clean up all the blood. I finally was like,
you think we could like clean up there's blood, but
it was still there. I mean some of it in days.
But they're focused on saving her life. They don't they
don't care about those things, which is what they should
be doing well.
Speaker 6 (12:38):
And I would say even showing up because I'm not
good with blood and at all. And Brittany met me
in the lobby just to like you give him a rundown,
and she's like, for the first probably a couple hours,
like I couldn't get up. I'd have to get up
and then sit down because I would feel faint. And
then I told Amy the same thing, like you're going
(12:59):
to go in there, and it's I mean, emotions are
high also, so throw that into and it's kind of
the same thing. You had to like slowly ease into this, like, Okay,
we're in we're in a war zone, like we're here
to like battle.
Speaker 8 (13:13):
And the first time I saw you, that's all I felt.
Speaker 6 (13:15):
Yeah, you feel kind of like light was heaven, right,
never blood.
Speaker 8 (13:19):
Then that bothers me and I'll walk in the room
and I see you there, and Scott's just you know,
all in talking to the doctors and everything else. Trash
More's doing, Ashley's doing fine.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Right and.
Speaker 6 (13:31):
Each other.
Speaker 8 (13:33):
Anyway, and I see Sella and it's they hadn't form. Yeah,
they hadn't been able to because of the bleeding everything.
They hadn't been able to completely close her up yet,
and so we were waiting twenty four hours just kind
of to see if there was any issues that were.
Speaker 6 (13:46):
Going to happen.
Speaker 8 (13:48):
And I was just like it was the emotion of.
Speaker 6 (13:51):
It's the emotion come and for me combined with the
blood just overwhelming.
Speaker 5 (13:56):
Well, and it was so different than the first one,
like y'all were with. The first one was so easy.
Speaker 8 (14:01):
Yeah, yeah, Yeah, we came into a room and you
were on the event and it was just like walked
out like a week later, ran out.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
And I think the third one is going to be
more like the first one, right, because I think we're
I think there's a proactive plan, you're you're totally ahead
of things, and.
Speaker 5 (14:16):
I think it'll be hopefully like the first one. Yeah,
I mean again, I am worried about the whole like
taking the lungs out to put in the new ones.
So that's why I'm ready, Like I'm mentally preparing myself
to be strong during that time because I really believe
that our minds and like our will is so powerful.
So I'm kind of just you know, having my little
meditations and prayers every once in a while, just like
(14:36):
you will stay alive during the table.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
So, yeah, your mental strength is everything. I mean, her
mental strength is like nothing I can even imagine, you know,
And she definitely is proof that you can will anything anything,
you know, and even I mean the right before she
went into lung failure failure that second time, you know,
(15:00):
she had literally finished her last test.
Speaker 6 (15:02):
She I mean, do you have to go through this
boot camp?
Speaker 4 (15:04):
She's going through the boot camp right now, and like
but at the by the point she got there, it was.
Speaker 8 (15:11):
Like she was passing out.
Speaker 6 (15:13):
Yeah, you know, and she had to do all the tests. Crazy.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
I mean, it's crazy the test, which I understand why.
But we were talking on Marco and I'll never forget
and I still feel really bad about this for all
Marco and like she made it on the list. That
was the day she made on the list, and I
was like, yeah, she had her and I was like,
I'm the last thing I said, So I said, you
(15:37):
know what, You've done everything you can do, you know
what I mean, Like you should be so proud of yourself,
like you've gotten to this point, You've done everything you
can do. Now God takes over, you know, and you
can just relax and and then literally did.
Speaker 5 (15:51):
You know what I'm done? I agree, I'm just gonna
take it like all of peace out, y'all take it
over from.
Speaker 6 (15:56):
Your But that I think was that was her with
the mask.
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Yeah, and it's the sea the sea path thing. Yeah,
well that was stressing me out.
Speaker 6 (16:05):
It was stressing you out, and you said that.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
Ten minutes later they had to call nine one one,
you know I mean. And I think it was just
her being able to like again like her mind.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
Like I was talking with them like trying to be like, well,
not trying, but I was strong for them, and I
was like I can do this. And then I, you know,
I cut the ties. Y'all were gone, and I was
just laying in this like very claustrophobic state, couldn't breathe them.
I was like, you know what, I don't have any
tests tomorrow and call and then I just remember just
being like Scott called on one and he's like what
(16:32):
I was.
Speaker 6 (16:32):
Like, well, I mean because even before the lung transplant,
we were there like in shifts to go through these.
Scott was there, but then he came home and some
of us would be out there. So that was a
test you just did.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Correct. You don't have to do those.
Speaker 5 (16:48):
Right, Like I've done everything, and then I'll go back
and do some repeat stuff.
Speaker 8 (16:52):
But it'll just think, goodness that she's so healthy going
into those tests.
Speaker 6 (16:56):
Right.
Speaker 5 (16:56):
Yeah, it was a whole different.
Speaker 8 (16:57):
It was last time. It was it was the timing
were running out of time and she was just begging
to get in and you know, like I'll do anything,
and we just had to just mow it through real fast,
you know, and get her through all that.
Speaker 6 (17:11):
And this is a different it's different.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Yeah, but it weren't even taking lung functions at that point.
Speaker 5 (17:16):
They were because they were.
Speaker 6 (17:19):
Them at oxygen.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
But I remember that phone call and like talking to
you guys, and then right then you know cutting like
you know, hanging up. And what's interesting is like I
remember like pushing through that conversation because I wanted to
have that conversation. I was like, I got this and
then for then when I realized I didn't have it,
and I told Scott to call nine one one to
show how bad my I.
Speaker 8 (17:41):
Was pretty much dead talking to you guys.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
Because once I know I really was, because once I
got into the ambulance and they were dragging me into
the ambulance, I mean, they were just like, how was
she even I don't know if we can take her
to the hospital, like I don't think we can. They
didn't even know what to do with me because they
didn't think I was going to make it to the hospital.
And that was literally like an hour after talking John,
y'all know her was talking. I was like, guys, we
can do this, and that just shows you how strong
(18:05):
our minds are.
Speaker 9 (18:05):
To kind.
Speaker 6 (18:08):
Like I know, I don't want my fingerpricked.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
And again I always say this, we all have it
in this and you have to believe in yourself. And
that's why I'm going into the third one really believing
into my strength and believing in our support system and
my faith.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
And Okay, but let me ask you something. So, how
are we making sure that you don't do that again?
Speaker 5 (18:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:29):
So, how like are you going to be able to
admitted sooner because this is all you because you are
You're right, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, but I
feel like there is a point where you maybe should
not wait. Well, right, I know.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
It's it's a hard again. It's that hard balance. And
there's times in the days there's like how am I
doing this? You know? And I'm like should I be
going to do right now? But then I'll go to
bed and I'll wake up and I'm like, okay, I'm
a little more refreshed and restored. I'm blowing like twenty
eight percent. Like so that's another thing is I monitor
my peak flow every day and it's pretty low. So
(19:09):
I I mean, I think when it gets to twenty five,
I'm going to be like, okay, instead of waiting till December,
I'm gonna just go because they told me to call
them when they think I'm ready, and you're right, like,
I really have to assess me, and because I don't
want to go too early because then once I'm there,
I'm there and then for a while. And so I'm like,
(19:31):
if I can hold off and still be with my kids,
and I mean, I'm still doing school things and helping
Mitch with his Science Fair project and you know, helping
Bella write essays for college. Like I'm still a mom
and the minute I go to Duke, I will have
to go into robot mode and I have to leave
my life behind. But short like so that can go
(19:52):
back to my life. You know, It'll be a short
stint hopefully, and so yeah, it's a daily assessment.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Well, and I think the second one was also different
because you were like here, we kind of thought you
were going to get it done at Baylor, and you
were very so the second was just kind of not
spur of the moment, but just like, oh, okay, we
found you found Phoenix. I'm not going to say we,
but you found you know, so it went.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
Quick, but I were playing catchup.
Speaker 6 (20:21):
You were playing right, right, But I think for what
you know, I think even in September October, we were
still thinking Baylor may do your second so come November
when Phoenix was like, oh you can come here, so
I think here, you have more of a plant along.
You've been planning longer than then.
Speaker 8 (20:40):
This is definitely like the best situation, right, right, that
we could have asked for, right and that it's almost
like you have the autonomy or the decision to make
and say, you know, this is the time I want
to do this, you know, and you'll know that time.
Speaker 6 (20:54):
But yeah, yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 5 (20:56):
Think it's I mean, because I'm still y'all. Remember last time,
I mean y'all a wheelchair me test a test. I
remember when I would I would start having panic attacks
because I could breathe, and Ashley read that you could
put ice in that, so she would hand me my
ice to help me not panic. I'm literally suffocating. I mean,
I'm like, I feel like I have a plastic bag
over my head and I'm not at that point right.
(21:18):
But then but then it's like, but I am in
some ways.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
So that's when it goes back to like she can
only do like a self assessment and just know that
God is going to show her when it's time, because
there's just it's just such a you know, astronomical thing
to even you know, I mean, like how does this
all line up?
Speaker 6 (21:38):
And how?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
And so I think she is really good as much
as she like is strong, and like, you know, she's
so good at knowing her body, you know, like I
mean she knows. I mean, I'm so not in tune
with my body, you know what I mean, Like I
could have like my leg could be bleeding and pregnant.
Speaker 8 (21:58):
I don't know, but multiple crazies.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Obviously so tuned with her body and always has been,
has always been been, so you know, yeah, but sometimes
too she has to like write right, like write it
down because she'll forget day to day, you know what
I mean, like what how am I feeling today?
Speaker 1 (22:19):
And how am I feeling?
Speaker 9 (22:20):
Said?
Speaker 5 (22:20):
We did that one year in college, like when I
had the tumor less journal all the sunder I remember.
Speaker 6 (22:24):
I remember we were.
Speaker 5 (22:25):
Laying we were in the apartment, and you were like okay.
She was like a doctor, chat her notebook out and
she's like, how do you feel? I was like, well,
it was really hard to tie my shoes today, I
mean really, and I remember thinking I could not even
tie my shoes. You're like okay. So we were like okay,
you know, and just trying to.
Speaker 6 (22:45):
Figure out we're both like nineteen years old.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
But then it goes to show you how we're all
in this like robot mode. Remember Nutcracker esophag So this
is a funny story. Who I don't even remember what.
Speaker 8 (22:57):
I was going to bring that up earlier, but I
was like.
Speaker 5 (22:59):
No, he was you and I right, yeah.
Speaker 8 (23:04):
It was Ashley.
Speaker 5 (23:06):
What do you call her?
Speaker 6 (23:10):
What doctor was that?
Speaker 8 (23:12):
It was at Okay, we had a.
Speaker 5 (23:16):
So we we were funny and we.
Speaker 8 (23:18):
Think things were like it was hoping. They gave us
the results and so.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
We're kind of, you know, we can be immature, you
have to be and at that time, so we all
explained the story, but she was diagnosing something like so
I'm getting cut open so much that basically my esopha is.
Speaker 6 (23:32):
I didn't have to put something down your throat for a.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
While or yeah, I mean there was these tests. I
had to do this awful test and they diagnosed that
my esophagus when I try to drink sometimes will close up.
But there's a name for it. And Brittany's taking are
you taking notes or his ash taking notes?
Speaker 8 (23:47):
I remember I think Brittany's.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
Taking notes and she's like, okay, nutcracker esophagus. And then
I think we get out of the meeting and we're
talking and Bertie's like, yeah she has like nutcracker. Scott
got It's like wait what and then we're like yeah nutcrackers,
Like ye do something like we all realized like, oh,
that's funny.
Speaker 8 (24:10):
I was like, how did I not crack up when
they said that? Because when we're so in robot mode
of like trying to take notes and figure it out,
I'm on normal, you would like, yeah, you know, it
would have gone downhill fast.
Speaker 6 (24:25):
But anyway, when it went downhill fast later, yeah, because because.
Speaker 5 (24:29):
Scott was like, did you just say nutcrackers?
Speaker 4 (24:32):
You're saying my wife has a nutcracker? Like what, I'm like,
that's what they said. I don't know.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
We're just a very serious condition and not like knocking
it down like it does suck, like I'll take drinks
and but it's funny.
Speaker 9 (24:44):
But because I never heard that, because I have it,
so I was like, of course, so and those are
again moments you just have to make it funny, you
know what I mean, Like, you just have to make
it funny because I brought it up because it was
you would just be you know's.
Speaker 6 (24:58):
Loving that you brought it up.
Speaker 8 (25:02):
It was literally was reading the note for God.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
I want to know what you call Oh, we have
names for all.
Speaker 6 (25:11):
I have a lot of names, but all these don't
get on the.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Well, yeah, she's always called me trash Moore.
Speaker 8 (25:19):
I think when she was little she got called Ashley
trash with a big red rash and so then it
was like trashly because her name was Ashley, and then
it just ended up being trash Moore.
Speaker 6 (25:30):
So I don't know, and her that religious, she's like
so like grais didn't put together and like not nothing
like that.
Speaker 8 (25:41):
That's not so funny. She's so not.
Speaker 6 (25:43):
Trash more, but I am. I do have trash more moments.
Speaker 5 (25:50):
And then they call me Beast, which seems so normal
to us. People were like, why did they call you beast?
And I'm like, yeah, beast, my name's Beast, so beast
is mine beast you? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (26:02):
And Amy was Webster because she's so smart and she
is a dictionary.
Speaker 6 (26:09):
Yeah yeah, I was calling mom gave me that name.
I think my mom did Amy Webb.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
And I always called Courney Casey because Corney cargile. But yeah,
we just have They probably are a little inappropriate sometimes.
Speaker 6 (26:28):
I mean Ashley's is probably great always what just my name?
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Yeah, I definitely keep them laughing, just with like my
daily grind, daily like just random things.
Speaker 5 (26:44):
That happened to me, because she is so put together.
Speaker 6 (26:49):
Is a Marco when she came out from nails. Yeah,
she got really dark.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
So Marco, do you guys know what Marco is? Sparko,
I don't even know. It's still it's a big thing.
Speaker 8 (27:03):
So we had to pay for now, so we had
to like but we're too cheap for that.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Yeah, Like it's like a video, it's a video text.
Speaker 6 (27:13):
You can so you don't have to be live. You
don't know, I could be, but hake it and simply
it's like your face, you know, or what you're looking at.
You can show anybody and you.
Speaker 8 (27:22):
Can change voices on it.
Speaker 6 (27:23):
You can change your voice.
Speaker 8 (27:24):
Trash Moore would go macho voice and that's what would
make it just even.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
But like we introduced that very dark time she was
in the hospital, the hospital we couldn't go, we couldn't
go see her, and we found this is a way
that like lay eyes on each other, it keeps money.
Speaker 6 (27:41):
Blessing, worrying.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
That journey it was and I will never forget, Like
when uh soul went dark, wasn't on it, you know
what I mean? It couldn't because she couldn't because she
was obviously in lung filure, you know, for her life.
But like she wasn't on it for good. I don't
know how many days, and then I'll never forget. I
was there the day that in the hospital that I
put her back on Marco and they were just like.
Speaker 8 (28:06):
That beach ball comes up on the phone and it
says on Marco or whatever.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
And I was like, oh, like we didn't think, we
didn't know if we'd ever see it any Yeah, yeah,
and hear your voice and just to see you.
Speaker 6 (28:17):
I was just like, But it was also a great
way when we were in Phoenix to also show the
others like what is what you're doing or where you go,
and so it was very helpful because you can text it,
but seeing something or seeing their face is always helpful.
So it was probably a game changer during the second transplant,
(28:40):
I would agree.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
And now you guys touched a little bit on it earlier,
but I see you psychosis? Is that was that ever
a thing that I heard about that before? Like, were
you really the stuff happens that is like almost out
of body.
Speaker 8 (28:59):
Like you were there for three days.
Speaker 7 (29:00):
But it felt like we experienced her that she experienced.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Yeah, y'all, I feel like y'all can experience you know,
the hair, can we talk about the hair.
Speaker 5 (29:09):
There's lots of things that y'all did to me.
Speaker 6 (29:12):
But this is an example of the psychosis.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (29:14):
Well then because you were there, Brittany and I were there.
Speaker 8 (29:16):
Yeah, and so Selah and look at her beautiful hair,
like okay.
Speaker 6 (29:21):
And she loves her hair and she has hair since
her whole life. She brushed her hair in seventh grade
launching and hair and the table.
Speaker 5 (29:32):
Wait and wait two minutes, the two minutes and you'd
go and I'd say two minutes before the bellow rings
have like okay, got to start my leg.
Speaker 6 (29:38):
And she'd brush her hair at the end of one.
Speaker 5 (29:40):
Again. That was what I could control. It was I mean,
I know now I look at it, it's a coping mechanism.
Speaker 6 (29:47):
I could only control, right, But if you know how
much she loves her hair, then this story.
Speaker 8 (29:51):
So post surgery, she had apparently, you know, doing surgery,
she had a bunch of trobes there when they put
them on, you know, okay, Yeah, so they were all
all there and there's you've got the gunk and all
this stuff, and you know, it's been a while, and
so the nurse was trying to wash her hair and
she's like, oh, I've just got this big thing here.
I just don't know if I can get it out.
(30:11):
I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, just give
me it up. So one rend of Walgreens and I
get like, because the hospital stuff is like crap. So
go to Walgreens and we get you all.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
You and actually got this stuff.
Speaker 8 (30:21):
First.
Speaker 6 (30:22):
Y'all got the conditioner and comb.
Speaker 5 (30:23):
We got the tools, and again I don't know what's.
Speaker 8 (30:26):
No, she is no, So we're working. I mean, we
worked on that forever days.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
It was a huge knot.
Speaker 8 (30:32):
It was a nod that was not coming out, and
it was big, big, and Courtney and I she looked
at us. I said, we're gonna have to cut it out.
Speaker 6 (30:42):
The nurse told us.
Speaker 9 (30:43):
Oh.
Speaker 6 (30:43):
The nurse was like, someone's got to cut it.
Speaker 8 (30:45):
Oh that's right.
Speaker 6 (30:46):
Britty and I look at each other and I'm like,
I'm not cutting her hair. Take cutting her hair.
Speaker 8 (30:51):
And I looked at you and I was like, don't
you ever till her I cut her hair. And so anyway,
this feeds into what you were hearing.
Speaker 6 (31:00):
Like the next day, she got mad at me, like
I was up taking care of her, and I touched
her hand and she like pulled her hand away, and
she wouldn't.
Speaker 5 (31:07):
Let me because I thought you were cutting my head off.
Speaker 6 (31:09):
And she thought I had in her hand.
Speaker 5 (31:10):
Remember this, No, But the only thing I remember is
the delusional experience that I'm having, like the I'm I guess,
I don't know what's going on, but I coming in
my mind. In my mind, I'm hearing voices and.
Speaker 8 (31:22):
Talking about cutting, and I hear scissors.
Speaker 5 (31:25):
And I would hear heads drop and I would hear corny,
and so I was, of course that would you know,
cut my head off?
Speaker 6 (31:33):
For sure?
Speaker 5 (31:34):
She had planned she was playing and cutting my head off.
Speaker 6 (31:37):
And other people's heads and people that I've done it
to other people in the hospital and you're pissed, and
I was.
Speaker 8 (31:44):
We didn't put any of that together till like almost
six months later.
Speaker 5 (31:47):
Talk about it well, and I will say, y'all never
told me that you'll cut my.
Speaker 6 (31:51):
Hair, really did.
Speaker 8 (31:55):
We had to cut it, and I was it was
going to get worse.
Speaker 6 (31:58):
It was awful.
Speaker 5 (31:59):
Well, and they never told me, and I was too
hair and I was like, babe, why do why do
I have like a hole right here? And it was
like just like scalp, like He's like, oh, baby, you
had a lot of I mean because I had scars,
but I don't. I still have scars and I don't
even know from what. Yeah, And he was like, oh, well,
the girls, I'm going to tell you each little hair.
(32:22):
I was very particular about like.
Speaker 6 (32:24):
Getting as far away from like keeping it as long
as all and as.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Soon as she could be get in a chair. We
were straightening her hair and oh, yes, for her, you know.
And I remember the nurse being like, we love those nurses.
They were so kind that being like they've never seen
anything a straightener.
Speaker 8 (32:41):
In the icy.
Speaker 6 (32:42):
Oh yeah, I'm like, here we are.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Well.
Speaker 5 (32:46):
I love how that y'all disappeased me. Like you know,
I'm sure like.
Speaker 8 (32:50):
It was important to you, and that's what was important
to us, you know what I mean. And whatever made
you feel good is what we wanted, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
And we were trying to calm her, and we try
to play song.
Speaker 8 (33:00):
She liked, Oh not the Kesha.
Speaker 6 (33:02):
I played the Kesha song. It was like the middle.
It had to be the ale of the night because
we were setting alarms. Oceans work, but she worked. She
listened to Oceans, but there was a Kesha song she
was listening to before she went to Phoenix and she
loved it. So I was like, okay, well we've played
Oceans for days, so like, just get the Kesha. And
her eyes just popped up and she looked at me
and I was like, oh, it was like and I
(33:23):
sat down. I was like, don't play Kesha. It's not
a good idea.
Speaker 5 (33:26):
I didn't. I don't remember this, but I thought, did
y'all tell me that? I like literally thought it was
like the Devil music.
Speaker 6 (33:31):
They were like, that's the Devil, you know, like Devil.
I think I was so dissh just sing Kesha, but
well you did not like that song. And I was like,
note to self, everyone, don't play Kesha, just stay with Oceans.
Speaker 5 (33:46):
I mean, I think that's a testament to how Christian
music really can help you in situations, because I think
I think I was just hanging out honestly, probably in heaven.
But no, no, no, she's not going to ruin my
time here, and so I mean, yeah, for me, just like, well,
let's give.
Speaker 6 (34:04):
Her some variety.
Speaker 8 (34:06):
Why not go back to the Oceans.
Speaker 6 (34:09):
Or Pride and Prejudice. It is over it by the
time I got there.
Speaker 8 (34:14):
Yeah, It's like I don't she'd come out a little
bit more.
Speaker 6 (34:17):
This was she was still definitely not oh, not together.
Speaker 7 (34:22):
One night she thought that her dogs were in a
very hot car.
Speaker 6 (34:25):
The dogs are in the car. The dogs are in
the car.
Speaker 7 (34:27):
She would like have these moments of of just like fears, right,
random fears that would pop up, which I guess is understandable.
You're in a super scary place and you don't know
what's going on.
Speaker 6 (34:39):
And you've lost time.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Yeah, it's coming off the drug, right, which was a
lot of the psychosis, yes, steroids.
Speaker 6 (34:46):
Well, and they told you that before you went in
that a lot of this would happen. Because then we
fired that doctor.
Speaker 8 (34:53):
Oh I wasn't going to bring that up.
Speaker 5 (34:54):
And then I was like, I wasn't there a doctor
that could claimed that I was a vegetable or yah,
I have very He was very dark.
Speaker 6 (35:02):
Remember I sat next year. I was like, who's that man? Shady? Really?
Yeah he did.
Speaker 8 (35:08):
He just didn't need to be in there.
Speaker 6 (35:09):
I feel like it was very negative energy that she
felt that.
Speaker 5 (35:14):
Yeah, yeah, because I remember that too, but in a
different way.
Speaker 6 (35:18):
It was awful. It was like a moment in my
life that I will not that I have never said
I've felt.
Speaker 8 (35:26):
Evil evil, think you what and real.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
So you felt?
Speaker 5 (35:31):
I remember y'all telling me this, but y'all felt like
he came in to like still.
Speaker 6 (35:36):
Still the hope.
Speaker 8 (35:39):
Well you said through the window.
Speaker 6 (35:42):
I saw him through the window, because in the ICU,
it's a big room, but there's a window, you know,
over to the right where her nurse would always sit.
And that man he walked by, Well there's windows right here.
He walked by the windows. I was like, who's that man?
He was in a suit.
Speaker 8 (35:54):
He wasn't your regular doctor.
Speaker 6 (35:55):
He was not a regular doctor. And every other person
that came in was in scrubs. And I was like, Brittany,
who's man? He just said at SOA's desk and we're
just watching him and watching him. And remember he came
in and he was like yelling miss very talking loud,
I guess, but we were it was very calm, quiet room.
We weren't talking even at this level. And he remember,
(36:16):
he was like miss Mitchell, Miss Mitchell, do you hear me?
And she could not respond to member. He asked her
to do you feel my feet? He rubbed her feet
and then he told her to lift her arms from
She didn't he goes see see and then he said
do you have her husband? And Brittany said, I'll get
him on the phone, and Brittany called Scott. I don't
(36:41):
I guess Scott talked to him. Yeah, and then Scott
called you back and.
Speaker 5 (36:45):
But he's diagnosed me as a vegetable, right yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 8 (36:48):
He was like, there's nothing here there she she can't
respond to anything, and she will be like forever. He
sat over and you said, no, no, he came back,
came back and you said you talked to me.
Speaker 5 (36:59):
I think you were like, I trained, trained, I remember
you tell me. You were like, soa, yeah, you will
do Brittany.
Speaker 6 (37:08):
Scott told Brittany that it was that Saul was going
to be like that forever. And I mean we're in
this room, we haven't slept in days, and we were
both like that's not true. And we called we went
out seeing her. We got called Ashley and we're I
think we were like on our knees praying and Ashley's like,
don't let him steal our hope, and we were like yes,
(37:28):
I was like he's the devil. Yeah, he's come to steal.
Speaker 5 (37:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (37:31):
He was dark, he was very dark.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
I was like, and we can't.
Speaker 6 (37:34):
We can't let them do that. And so we went
back and for a day. He was coming back the
next day, and for a day Brittany and I trained Sea.
We would like lay there and like rub her head
and like tell her, soa a man is going to
come back and he's going to ask you to do
these things and you're going to have to do them.
You have to do them, and did it. When he
(37:56):
came back in, Brittany went up and talked to him
and I lean down. I was like, he is here,
and we're going to do this, and she did it
all No, it was crazy, it was.
Speaker 8 (38:03):
And then at the end of it, you go, I
love you.
Speaker 6 (38:05):
I love him, And that's what she kept saying to
him and you.
Speaker 5 (38:08):
And so my memory is that there was a very
bad spirit in my presence. I don't remember this at all,
but I remember I can tie things together in my perspective,
and there was a very bad evil presence. And in
my mind I felt like if I could just tell
him that I love him, but he should be okay
and he would release whatever this hold he has, Like
(38:32):
he needed to be told that he that I loved
him and that and I'm sure he probably thought I
was crazy because I was like, I love you, that's all.
Speaker 6 (38:39):
She would say, that's no way.
Speaker 5 (38:40):
Yeah, and I and the only memory I have it
that because when you'll tell me stories and I tie
him to out what I thought at the time, I
remember having this someone was tapping on me and and
I would just be like, I love you, it's okay.
Speaker 6 (38:54):
But he kept yelling her name, miss Mitchell, and like
we did not call her miss Mitchell, like we called
her sella or beast or anything, and like he was
just miss. He was yelling. I mean, I don't think
he was yelling, but it was very loud. It was condescending.
It was condescending, thank you.
Speaker 8 (39:10):
Yeah, it was pretty much like.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
I wish we could go find him today.
Speaker 6 (39:15):
Well, I do believe after that, Scott, I never saw
him again. No, Scott called and said, I never want
that man in my wife's rightfully so rightfully so advocating again. Yeah,
and he wasn't even in Phoenix, I think, or he
may have been in Phoenix, but I don't know.
Speaker 8 (39:33):
That was a very the only kind of darkness I
ever saw with anything.
Speaker 6 (39:39):
With anything, and I can still feel it to this day. Yeah,
it's it's crazy.
Speaker 5 (39:43):
Right, because I really do believe when I think back
at all this time, I always feel like I was
surrounded by light.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (39:48):
I always felt even though I don't remember things, I
always felt at peace and calm. Maybe not even maybe
I didn't show it from my actions, but I like,
when I think back, everything was very peaceful because y'all
created that environment through prayer, through ocean. Yeah, so that again,
there's all, there's a there was all those little stories
(40:08):
that are.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
Just like the night of when I was there after
Scott had gone home, you know, and I told him
his wife was gonna go home, and then that they called. Well,
Scott stayed home and slept that night. So I just
prayed over her the entire night night Like I did
not sleep. We just I just prayed over her. And
she was not at all communicating. And then it was
about an hour before she went out. And I don't
(40:31):
know who gave you the cross, the hand cross.
Speaker 5 (40:35):
I wouldn't cross that.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
She she would hold it. And I leaned down and
I and I she had not made any movement. I
tried to talk to her and I just said, listen
when you get in there, and you're scared. Remember, you
just have to say Jesus's name in your head and
he's there.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
You know.
Speaker 4 (40:52):
I mean, you don't have to pray, like, just say
his name. And she just looked at me and she
was like, you know, and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:00):
And I think one other thing I did say that
Scott told me, because y'all were, I had completely separated
myself from my children in my head because the only
way to survive this would be too not have any
type of guilt. And he said that, I said to him,
I hadn't said anything, but I just said, tell the
children I love them. So it's interesting that your present
(41:21):
and your mind is all there. But I kind of
do think I was just hanging out in heaven.
Speaker 4 (41:27):
I'm protecting yourself, right, And I think I remember Scott
saying to me, I'm so glad she said that about
the kids. And I said, oh, she knows, but she
can't talk about it because it hurts too bad, right,
you know. I mean like when you're in fight mode,
like right, you can't let your head go anywhere but
(41:47):
just the fight, yeah, you know.
Speaker 5 (41:48):
And I think to be like when I went into
the table on the table, I really think that y'all
had prepared my spirit to be ready for the table,
because I don't think I was supposed to survive the table.
I really don't. I mean I think, like you'll sell
the blood everywhere, and like y'all, I mean I think
I might, like, physically, on my own, I would not
have been able to survive the table. But when you
(42:08):
add the prayer and the fight.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
And her mental strength, yeah right, and her faith and
her faith yeah, and the doctors and we love the doctors.
Speaker 5 (42:18):
Of course, could not do it another but I think
I was. I was trying to help them out a little,
just a little bit.
Speaker 6 (42:24):
I think sometimes she even amazes doctors every day.
Speaker 5 (42:28):
Well, there was definitely stories just from a physical perspective.
Speaker 6 (42:32):
And remember we went to the eye doctor and we
were there four hours.
Speaker 5 (42:37):
It was exhausting.
Speaker 6 (42:38):
It's so tiring. She just had to get her eyes checked.
And this lady wanted to hear her whole story for
four hours.
Speaker 5 (42:44):
And so when I were like we just wanted we
have it from from a perspective, they're just like, wait what,
And she.
Speaker 6 (42:50):
She wanted to know everything. So she was very nice,
but we were there for a long time.
Speaker 5 (42:58):
Yeah, my story is not a short tell.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Your story is amazing, and I hope that we get
to hear all the details of all the you come
back after.
Speaker 6 (43:13):
We'll be here to tell another story.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Yeah, so I didn't get to tell you, guys, but
the studio has to end at seven instead of eight.
We had, like a, we had a great, great, great time.
And is there anything else that anyone wants to say?
Speaker 4 (43:34):
Just thank you for sharing her story, now, you know,
I mean, like that's I think we're really protective of Sela,
you know, as you can tell, and like, you know, I.
Speaker 6 (43:43):
Just love that you guys.
Speaker 4 (43:44):
I can tell you're really concerned, you know, not curious,
you know what I mean, and that you want this
to to go out in the right way, and we
appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
And so I don't know if Sella told you, but
the whole idea came because she had somebody said she
should write a book, and then she had posted that
she felt like she's running out of time. So that's
how I came up with the idea to record it
in chapters and to have someone write a book in
(44:15):
the end, which we don't know when that is. There
can be so many chapters added, so there's no end
time this. We do this podcast because we love to
do it. We care about people's stories, and that's really
all that this is about. This was an idea I
had that I've never done it before, but I know
we can figure it out together. So I think that
(44:38):
that's important. And I feel this is an amazing group
of people and I feel blessed you have come on
the show and we are going to do it lots more.
I still want to do. I want to do chapters
with your children and your parents and the doctors and
the nurses. That we have a lot to do a lot.
(44:58):
So you got to get out. I'll be back, yes, So,
but anybody else say anything. You guys take the thank you,
thank you that you believe you guys for sharing, thank
you for coming. Yeah, thank you for flying. I would
not have missed.
Speaker 6 (45:15):
This gives her a good reason to go to eat.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Yes, you guys, go eat after.
Speaker 7 (45:22):
I look for any small reason to come down to
come and see all their faces.
Speaker 4 (45:28):
I bet.
Speaker 7 (45:28):
I mean, was a great it's amazing, a great reason.
I just thank you both for.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
No, thank you guys for coming, for coming. It's amazing.
It's very very blessing inspiration on so many levels is
for me unbelievable. And I have a group of friends
just like you guys in Austria, and I don't get
to see them because I live here, but always in
(45:53):
my heart the same also from since we were very young.
So I can relate to all of you so much
and it makes me tiary because it's very very rare.
So yeah, I thank all of you so much. Absolutely,
thank you and Heil, thank you for listening.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Listeners, and if you haven't listened to Selah's first episodes,
I don't know the numbers I think, but she did
tell her story with her husband.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
Yes, you need to go back. And if we're not
even done releasing all those chapters, we have still I
think two more chapters of that and then we'll cut
this up in many chapters. So thank you.
Speaker 6 (46:34):
We can't wait.
Speaker 9 (46:36):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I'm Olivia Gooley.
Speaker 5 (46:38):
I'm one of the gossip girls here at tupash Podcasts.
You can find me on Instagram at Liv's World and
if you need me, I'll be crying in my Bentley.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
I'm Marcella, co host of the Tupash podcast. You can
find me on all social media platforms Marcellainary. You can
also find me on TikTok Marcella Roinary seven and say
whatever the fuck I want.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Yeah, my name is Cruz Koffer.
Speaker 3 (47:04):
You can find me on Instagram and that's pretty much it,
and let's do some tequila together on the next show.
Speaker 1 (47:13):
If you enjoy listening to our show, please follow tupash
podcast on all social media handles and tell all your
family and friends about it. And tupash podcast is on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook,
and Twitter. Also, don't hesitate to leave us a review, comments, feedback,
or ask us any questions and follow me on my
personal social media on Instagram at Gabby dot Talks and
(47:37):
Facebook at Gabrielle Kindler, Gilmour and I Have No Secret.
Thank you for listening.
Speaker 4 (47:44):
Thank you,
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