June 26, 2021 • 23 mins
In celebration of Pride Month we present an all new production of one of our favorite stories from Season One.
When a man struggles to come to terms with his true self, Victoria does her best to help him find his way.
But, will his fear of how others perceive him prevent him from facing the truth and being who he is?
Written by Mark Nixon
Cast (in order of appearance):
The Narrator: David Ault
Victoria Bigglesworth-Hayes: Amber Collins
Vicky: Amber Collins
Get your copy of The Lift, 9 Stories of Transformation Volume One – now available on Amazon.
Art: Jeanette Andromeda of JeanetteCreations.com
Score: Nico Vettese of We Talk of Dreams
A 9th Story Studios Production | Foytik, Collins, Vettese
Support us on Patreon for ad free episodes and extra content.
Listen and Subscribe: iTunes | iHeart Radio | Spotify | Google Podcasts | TuneIn | Stitcher
THEMES:
"The Song of Many Worlds" (Lift Opening Theme), "A Girl Alone", (Victoria's Theme), and The Lift Closing Theme Music were Composed and Recorded by Nico Vettese of We Talk of Dreams
www.wetalkofdreams.com
FX:
Sound FX: freesound.org, audioblocks.com
AUDIO RECORDING
Sound Design and Vocal Mix by Davis Walden, of The Viridian Wild audio drama podcast.
Score: Nico Vettese, We Talk of Dreams
Final Mix, 9th Story Studios: www.9thstory.com
PRODUCTION:
Producer/ Creator: Daniel Foytik
Executive Producers: Amber Collins, Nico Vettese, Jeanette Andromeda
Visit Victoria's Lift: on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
Victoria's Lift is a 9th Story Studios Production, All Rights Reserved
Victoria's Lift and all core characters, places, and situations are property of Daniel Foytik, 9th Story Studios, and 9th Story Publishing and may not be used in any form without explicit written permission.
When a man struggles to come to terms with his true self, Victoria does her best to help him find his way.
But, will his fear of how others perceive him prevent him from facing the truth and being who he is?
Written by Mark Nixon
Cast (in order of appearance):
The Narrator: David Ault
Victoria Bigglesworth-Hayes: Amber Collins
Vicky: Amber Collins
Get your copy of The Lift, 9 Stories of Transformation Volume One – now available on Amazon.
Art: Jeanette Andromeda of JeanetteCreations.com
Score: Nico Vettese of We Talk of Dreams
A 9th Story Studios Production | Foytik, Collins, Vettese
Support us on Patreon for ad free episodes and extra content.
Listen and Subscribe: iTunes | iHeart Radio | Spotify | Google Podcasts | TuneIn | Stitcher
THEMES:
"The Song of Many Worlds" (Lift Opening Theme), "A Girl Alone", (Victoria's Theme), and The Lift Closing Theme Music were Composed and Recorded by Nico Vettese of We Talk of Dreams
www.wetalkofdreams.com
FX:
Sound FX: freesound.org, audioblocks.com
AUDIO RECORDING
Sound Design and Vocal Mix by Davis Walden, of The Viridian Wild audio drama podcast.
Score: Nico Vettese, We Talk of Dreams
Final Mix, 9th Story Studios: www.9thstory.com
PRODUCTION:
Producer/ Creator: Daniel Foytik
Executive Producers: Amber Collins, Nico Vettese, Jeanette Andromeda
Visit Victoria's Lift: on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
Victoria's Lift is a 9th Story Studios Production, All Rights Reserved
Victoria's Lift and all core characters, places, and situations are property of Daniel Foytik, 9th Story Studios, and 9th Story Publishing and may not be used in any form without explicit written permission.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Blind Story Studios giving Story a voice. Welcome to the Lift, Get ready
to take a ride? Tweet tweetAre you a birdie? Do you like
(00:33):
to Twitter and tweet? Come findus on Twitter at Victoria's List. Tweet
tweet Hello. I'm Daniel Foytech andI thank you for joining us for a
special episode of Victoria's Lift. Today, in celebration of Pride Month, we
(00:58):
present a fresh take on one ofour favorite stories from season one. Not
only was Why I Take the Lifta PARSEC Award finalist, but it's one
of my personal all time favorite storiesof the show. Now, it always
felt like this one deserved a betterproduction than I had the ability, experience,
or resources to give it so earlyin the show. If you create
(01:21):
things, anything, you'll know whatI mean. When you start on the
path of making arts, you knowwhat you want it to be, and
you do your best to realize that. But because you know you're inexperienced and
eventually you do improve, part ofyou always wants to go back and make
(01:41):
it better. So today, incelebration of Pride Month, this story gets
it to do. The episode hasbeen completely redone with new narration by the
incomparable David Alt, fresh sound designedby an amazingly talented new sound designer,
Davis Walden, and an all newcustom score buying me of Iteze, and
the fact that the new narration andsound design were both done by gay men
(02:05):
makes this episode even more special.I sincerely hope you'll find this episode as
beautiful as I do. A bigthank you to our author Mark Nixon for
agreeing to allow this story to appearagain. Mark would no doubt tell you
that he's become a more experienced andmore talented writer since this was written,
but I feel it's one of theearliest indications of what a great writer Mark
(02:27):
would become, and I feel it'sjust as beautiful all these years later.
Speaking of Mark, I'd recommend youlisten and subscribe to Shadows at the Door,
a fantastic audio drama podcast by MarkShadows at the Door. The podcast
artfully showcases the unsettling, the unearthly, and the uncanny with new telling of
beloved ghost stories and spectral yarns createdexclusively for the podcast by some of the
(02:52):
most exciting writers in modern horror.You can find the show at Shadows at
the Door dot com, or youcan subscribe to it wherever you get your
podcasts. Now, one last thankyou before we get started today to those
who are supporting Victoria and her Lift. Those supporting the show at the five
dollars a month level and above willget to hear our special ten part mini
(03:13):
series by Christopher Long To those whothrive in the Dark. This series will
dive deep into the mythos of Victoria'sworld and will feature Victoria facing ancient gods,
fay folk, ghosts, monsters,old enemies, and a certain little
brother with ulterior motives. This serieswill also be released as a novella at
the end of the run, withan expanded story that takes you deeper into
(03:38):
our world. Now, hold ontight, and let's go for a ride
on Victoria's Lift. Why I takethe Lift? By Mark Nixon. My
(04:33):
office cubicle is only on the secondfloor, but every day I take the
lift, and more often than not, I hear a noise of disapproval from
those destined for the higher floors whenI get off. It's not that I'm
lazy. Sure, I don't jogthe length of Central Park every other day
like everybody else in Manhattan seems towhich, if you ask me, as
(04:53):
a little too much like posing anyway, especially John in marketing, who insists
on completing his jog's top Plus,It's just that I like taking lifts whenever
I can. On the few occasionswhen someone has asked why I insist on
taking the lift, I usually tellthem it's so I can steal a few
precious moments on Twitter. But today, just for you, the truth.
(05:19):
I once had my life saved ina lift. Well, okay, that's
maybe a tad dramatic. I wasn'tin any physical danger, but my mental
health that was very suddenly on theverge of collapse. It had just finished
raining when I stormed out of theoffice all those months ago. It was
(05:41):
around ten pm. The streets ofNew York were typically brimming with activity.
The office is on the corner atEast forty second Street on Madison Avenue,
so only a short walk from thepublic Library. And I love reading.
I can't tell you how that particularlove started, because it's always been there.
(06:02):
So when I left the office ingreat distress, it would come as
no surprise to those who know methat I unconsciously gravitated to the library.
And that's when you consider the wealthof bars that surround the office alone.
Of course, that late at night, the library was closed and I hadn't
really expected to go inside, soI simply sat by one of the marble
(06:26):
lions and stared at the cabs passedby. Without much warning, I broke
down in tears and buried my faceinto the palms of my hands. See,
I worked, and still do workin an office full of thirty somethings,
most with kids, and they spendtheir lives waiting for the next episode
(06:46):
of The Bachelor or The Voice tostart. So a little gossip is the
closest they get to excitement between nineto five, and the events that transpired
were sure to be the talk ofthe town and impossible to ignore. That
night had been the going away partyfor our deputy department manager, Scott,
(07:08):
and rather than go down to thebars or meet up for a meal,
we simply stayed back after the shiftended, armed with a couple of kegs,
some bottles, a large order ofpizza, and a bluetooth speaker which
we all fought over. I'd alwaysadmired Scott, and honestly I was sad
to see him go, even ifit was for a well deserved promotion.
(07:30):
I'd been waiting for a quiet momentto wish him a sincere goodbye, and
as he went to leave for thetoilet, I saw my opportunity. Through
slurred speech, I was able totell him that I'd miss him, that
I always thought he was fantastic,and while before I knew it, I
was kissing him. Yeah. First, a little background info. At age
(07:55):
thirteen, I first kissed a girlnamed Darcy. Her lip gloss tasted like
cherries, and I even dared toput my hand on her hip. At
fifteen, I received my first blowjobfrom Kirsty Potter, after dating her for
more than a year, but followinga spot of locker room bragging that got
loose. Thank you very much,Stephen Adams. I was soon at the
(08:18):
dumping end of a very public breakup, and I deserved it. And so
it wouldn't be until I was nineteenwhen I lost my virginity to Emily Curtis
upstairs at a house party. Theysay romance is dead. More girls followed,
not as many as I'd have likedat the time, but there were
a few more. Nonetheless, Soto find myself kissing a man passionately kissing
(08:46):
a man at an office party wasas much a surprise to me at that
moment as it would have been tomy childhood friends. And there was nothing
especially special about Scott, who wasabout as plain looking as me, just
another face in the crowd passing by, albeit in a moderately fashionable suit.
(09:07):
But under the glow of the dimmedoffice lights, he looked incredible. The
shadows casting down his face seemed tostrengthen his features, his jaw line,
his perfectly straight nose, and hislarge, glistening brown eyes. Suddenly nothing
made sense the excessive admiration I hadharbored for Scott's unflappable professionalism, the way
(09:33):
he calmly dealt with stressful situations,his fantastic sense of humor. Had it
been something more? The kiss wasover before I had time to realize what
was happening. I don't know ifthe delay was due to alcohol or sheer
shark or hey, maybe it wasjust both. It was me who stopped
(09:54):
the kiss. Strangely enough, Scottelevated his eyebrows in a combination of shark
and an expression I was about torealize was pleasure when we were interrupted by
the dead pan voice of Vicky fromreception, attempting to surpass her utter glee.
Oh, she said, barely containingher smile. Vicky, I gasped,
(10:18):
looking at the small tubby receptionist.Panic gripped me. Now, that
may be a phrase people overused,but I seemed to feel a giant hand
grab my heart and squeeze it out. Seemed to flow only adrenaline, and
my instincts told me No. Screamedat me to run. I should go,
(10:39):
I finally said, to nobody inparticular. I practically ran from the
two of them and the gossip thatwas surely about to break out. I
could swear that I heard Scott callafter me as I stormed down the hallway,
but who could be sure with thethumping base in the background. Before
long, I was out of thedoors of the building by fear, and
(11:01):
I'm sorry to admit by shame.It seems strange to admit that now,
but sadly it's the truth. Icrossed the road, avoiding the brutal drivers
you come to expect, and headedtoward the library. As you already know,
there after a good cry, Ivomited. I'd like to tell you
it was down to nerves, butsomehow, I don't think you'll believe me.
(11:24):
A cold breeze shook some amber leavesalong the steps, wrapping themselves around
my feet. I reached for oneand examined it for no reason at all,
before I was startled by the openingof the library doors. Behind me.
There in the dead of night,I saw a little girl walking out.
She was clinging onto a stack ofbooks that almost reached her nose.
(11:48):
She couldn't have been older than ten, and was dressed in an old frock
the kind you force on kids forthose vintage photo shoots. Bemused. I
waited for a parent or anyone tofollow her, but she seemed to be
alone. I sniffed to clear mythroat, not realizing I somehow had some
vomit in my nose, and afterthat moment of unpleasantness, I shifted to
(12:11):
speak to the girl. Be carefulon those stairs, I offered. She
stretched her head to look down andseemed to agree with my sentiment. Thanks,
she said, you should be carefultoo. You wouldn't understanding that sick,
I looked down, embarrassed. Ialso didn't register how unusual her voice
(12:31):
seemed. There was an accent thatreminded me of home, But that wasn't
it. The voice seemed to echo, and as such, her words seemed
to linger in my head. Aftershe'd spoken, she could have told me
that I was the President of theUnited States, and it had taken me
a few minutes to realize that Iwasn't. Yeah, gross, right,
(12:52):
I answered, yep. I stoodup and navigated around the mess on the
steps, wiping my eyes. Doyou want a hand with those books?
Oh? Yes, please? Ileaned over and took the pile from some
of the forward facing spines. Icould see quite an eclectic mix. One
flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, asomewhat inappropriate choice, I thought, A
(13:16):
Brief History of Time, Little Women, the God Delusion, amongst others.
Quite the mix you have here,I noted. I'd like to think so,
she replied, I've read some ofthem before. Actually, whatever really
could? Yeah? We reached thebottom of the stairs, and at this
point no one else had left thelong since darkened doors of the library.
(13:39):
So who are you with exactly?Not only was I concerned as to why
there was a young child in themiddle of Manhattan unattended, but I was
also aware of how my interest inher might seem to the average passer by.
Luckily, New Yorkers tend to keeptheir head down at night for better
or worse. Just me and don'tworry, she replied. Most people don't
(14:01):
see me unless they need to,or I want them to beg pardon.
People see me when they need to, she repeated, almost annoyed. I
got the impression she'd had this conversationmore times than she could remember. Like
you you need some help right now, you think, well, evidently,
(14:22):
but this is good. It meansyou get to come and take a ride
on my lift, your lift,yes, but don't worry about it,
and we'll be there soon anyway.And she was right. Only a few
blocks walked down Fifth Avenue when wereached a building that seemed to be our
destination. I hadn't seen it beforemyself, and I'd worked in the area
(14:43):
for close to four years by thispoint. We walked into the reception,
which was strangely empty, and waitedfor the lift to arrive at the ground
floor. I'd placed the books onthe reception desk as instructed, and as
I did, the last of thealcohols seemed to leave my system. We
waited for a few moments in silence, and I felt strangely at ease with
(15:03):
the situation, which, looking backand telling you right now, seems completely
bizarre, but at the time itfelt entirely normal. I felt totally compliant
with the girl's plan. She feltlike a force of nature, like a
sudden rainstorm. You can't stop therain. All you can do is choose
(15:24):
how you react to it. Thelift finally arrived and we stepped in.
It was gorgeous inside and reminded mevery much like the ones in the plaza.
It took us up standing off abell as we passed each floor until
(15:46):
we reached the eighth floor. Thena strange thing happened. Wealth was strange
within the context of this whole thing. The doors opened, but almost immediately
they closed together and the lift descendedquite suddenly with a stomach lurching jerk.
Weird, I said, for somereason, not phased by an elevator that
(16:08):
seemed to work on its own,I was worried about this, She replied,
The lift doesn't know what floor totake you to your issue. Let's
call it has more consequences than yourealize. We felt the lift slow as
it approached the sixth floor again,the doors opened, but again closed,
and lurched us upward once more.Thankfully, by this point I was completely
(16:32):
sober. Okay, so let meexplain, she started again. Each floor
has a speciality. She stopped talkingand leaned against the side of the lift,
putting her ear to the wall thatwas the sixth floor, for example,
where we deal with denial, uncertainty, and fear. She smiled as
if someone were whispering in her ear, and joined me at my side once
(16:53):
more. Okay, so the lifthas things sussed out. Now wait back
to floor eight. And what doyou deal with on floor eight? I
asked, a little scared, dishonesty, sacrisy. She rolled off, and
then she locked her eyes with mineand lies lies afraid. So the lift
(17:15):
then arrived at the eighth floor.Though I hardly noticed. You may not
realize it, but when you weresitting by the library, you already knew
how you felt. Maybe you alwayshave. In fact, I did to
say, deep down, you alreadyknow who you are. You just need
to stop lying to yourself. Thosewords hit me like a ton of bricks.
(17:38):
She was right, I knew howI felt before I even walked after
Scott. After all, it's possibleto lie to yourself so adamantly and so
completely that you start to believe it. Yes there'd been girls, and yes
they've been good times. But lookingback now, right now, I see
that I'd gone through the motions,done what was expected of a lad growing
(18:03):
up. You know, we gofrom telling kids to ask for permission to
use the toilet one moment to tellingthem to decide what their entire future will
be the next. No wonder,some young people can't figure themselves out,
No wonder, so many repress dowhat they can to feel like they belong
somewhere anywhere. I stood and experiencedan eternity within seconds, and then,
(18:29):
looking outside of the lift doors,I could see the corridors of my own
office building. Don't ask me how, That's just how it was. The
lights were low, but the musicwas still playing. Clearly the party was
still going in full swing. Iturned to the girl, whose name I
never caught, and thanked her.I knelt and gave her a hug,
(18:51):
which she returned warmly. Again,looking back, this all seems so bizarre,
and I almost wish I'd spoken toher some more, because when I
stepped out and turned back to saygoodbye. She was gone. All I
saw was the door to the supplycupboard. I took a deep breath and
walked back into the party, ignoringthe hushed giggles of some of my colleagues.
(19:12):
I picked up two bottles of beer, found Scott and sat next to
him. He took the drink andrepaid me with a handsome smile. Hey
you, he said, Hey,I replied, and no, we didn't
dance the slow song at the endof the party, but we did share
(19:34):
a few more drinks, a lotof laughs, and we're actually still in
touch. Just friends, but afriendship I'm glad to have. It hadn't
been a quick journey to fully understandwho I am. Hell, it still
isn't sometimes, but thanks to thegirl and her lift, it's been a
much easier one. And now wecome to the point of this little tale.
(19:56):
Some wise, if unusual words ofadvice, If you ever come across
a young English girl, dressed outof time and probably acting it too,
then give her a little smile andlet her know that you can see her.
She might just save your life.Today's episode featured David Alt as the
(20:27):
narrator and Amber Collins as Victoria.Our author was Mark Nixon. You can
find more of his work at Shadowsat thedoor dot com. Today's custom score
and our intro and ultro theme songswere created by our resident composer, Niko
Vites of We Talk of Dreams.Find Nico at We Talk of Dreams dot
com and streaming on Twitch. Artworkis by Janette Andromeda, illustrator, artist,
(20:52):
YouTuber and all around amazing human.Find her being creative at Janette Creations
dot com. Sound design was createdby Davis Walden, our new sound designer
and the creator of the Veridian Wildpodcast. You can find the show at
the Veridian Wild dot com. That'sVeridian spelled v I r I d I
(21:14):
A N, or you can subscribeto it wherever you get your podcasts.
Victoria's Lift creator and producer is DanielFoitzec of Ninth Story Studios. That's Me,
Don't Forget. Chapter two of ourminiseries To Those Who Thrive in the
Dark will be posted on Patreon inJuly and return to the free show this
December. Season five is coming soon. M Do you like me and my
(22:30):
Lift? Please tell me by writinga short review of the show in the
iTunes and leaving me some gold stars. It helps others to find their way
here too. I like gold stars. Can I have lots? Pretty?
Please leave me stars and reviews atiTunes dot Victoria's lift dot com.
Blind Story Studios giving Story a voice. Welcome to the Lift, Get ready
to take a ride? Tweet tweetAre you a birdie? Do you like
(00:33):
to Twitter and tweet? Come findus on Twitter at Victoria's List. Tweet
tweet Hello. I'm Daniel Foytech andI thank you for joining us for a
special episode of Victoria's Lift. Today, in celebration of Pride Month, we
(00:58):
present a fresh take on one ofour favorite stories from season one. Not
only was Why I Take the Lifta PARSEC Award finalist, but it's one
of my personal all time favorite storiesof the show. Now, it always
felt like this one deserved a betterproduction than I had the ability, experience,
or resources to give it so earlyin the show. If you create
(01:21):
things, anything, you'll know whatI mean. When you start on the
path of making arts, you knowwhat you want it to be, and
you do your best to realize that. But because you know you're inexperienced and
eventually you do improve, part ofyou always wants to go back and make
(01:41):
it better. So today, incelebration of Pride Month, this story gets
it to do. The episode hasbeen completely redone with new narration by the
incomparable David Alt, fresh sound designedby an amazingly talented new sound designer,
Davis Walden, and an all newcustom score buying me of Iteze, and
the fact that the new narration andsound design were both done by gay men
(02:05):
makes this episode even more special.I sincerely hope you'll find this episode as
beautiful as I do. A bigthank you to our author Mark Nixon for
agreeing to allow this story to appearagain. Mark would no doubt tell you
that he's become a more experienced andmore talented writer since this was written,
but I feel it's one of theearliest indications of what a great writer Mark
(02:27):
would become, and I feel it'sjust as beautiful all these years later.
Speaking of Mark, I'd recommend youlisten and subscribe to Shadows at the Door,
a fantastic audio drama podcast by MarkShadows at the Door. The podcast
artfully showcases the unsettling, the unearthly, and the uncanny with new telling of
beloved ghost stories and spectral yarns createdexclusively for the podcast by some of the
(02:52):
most exciting writers in modern horror.You can find the show at Shadows at
the Door dot com, or youcan subscribe to it wherever you get your
podcasts. Now, one last thankyou before we get started today to those
who are supporting Victoria and her Lift. Those supporting the show at the five
dollars a month level and above willget to hear our special ten part mini
(03:13):
series by Christopher Long To those whothrive in the Dark. This series will
dive deep into the mythos of Victoria'sworld and will feature Victoria facing ancient gods,
fay folk, ghosts, monsters,old enemies, and a certain little
brother with ulterior motives. This serieswill also be released as a novella at
the end of the run, withan expanded story that takes you deeper into
(03:38):
our world. Now, hold ontight, and let's go for a ride
on Victoria's Lift. Why I takethe Lift? By Mark Nixon. My
(04:33):
office cubicle is only on the secondfloor, but every day I take the
lift, and more often than not, I hear a noise of disapproval from
those destined for the higher floors whenI get off. It's not that I'm
lazy. Sure, I don't jogthe length of Central Park every other day
like everybody else in Manhattan seems towhich, if you ask me, as
(04:53):
a little too much like posing anyway, especially John in marketing, who insists
on completing his jog's top Plus,It's just that I like taking lifts whenever
I can. On the few occasionswhen someone has asked why I insist on
taking the lift, I usually tellthem it's so I can steal a few
precious moments on Twitter. But today, just for you, the truth.
(05:19):
I once had my life saved ina lift. Well, okay, that's
maybe a tad dramatic. I wasn'tin any physical danger, but my mental
health that was very suddenly on theverge of collapse. It had just finished
raining when I stormed out of theoffice all those months ago. It was
(05:41):
around ten pm. The streets ofNew York were typically brimming with activity.
The office is on the corner atEast forty second Street on Madison Avenue,
so only a short walk from thepublic Library. And I love reading.
I can't tell you how that particularlove started, because it's always been there.
(06:02):
So when I left the office ingreat distress, it would come as
no surprise to those who know methat I unconsciously gravitated to the library.
And that's when you consider the wealthof bars that surround the office alone.
Of course, that late at night, the library was closed and I hadn't
really expected to go inside, soI simply sat by one of the marble
(06:26):
lions and stared at the cabs passedby. Without much warning, I broke
down in tears and buried my faceinto the palms of my hands. See,
I worked, and still do workin an office full of thirty somethings,
most with kids, and they spendtheir lives waiting for the next episode
(06:46):
of The Bachelor or The Voice tostart. So a little gossip is the
closest they get to excitement between nineto five, and the events that transpired
were sure to be the talk ofthe town and impossible to ignore. That
night had been the going away partyfor our deputy department manager, Scott,
(07:08):
and rather than go down to thebars or meet up for a meal,
we simply stayed back after the shiftended, armed with a couple of kegs,
some bottles, a large order ofpizza, and a bluetooth speaker which
we all fought over. I'd alwaysadmired Scott, and honestly I was sad
to see him go, even ifit was for a well deserved promotion.
(07:30):
I'd been waiting for a quiet momentto wish him a sincere goodbye, and
as he went to leave for thetoilet, I saw my opportunity. Through
slurred speech, I was able totell him that I'd miss him, that
I always thought he was fantastic,and while before I knew it, I
was kissing him. Yeah. First, a little background info. At age
(07:55):
thirteen, I first kissed a girlnamed Darcy. Her lip gloss tasted like
cherries, and I even dared toput my hand on her hip. At
fifteen, I received my first blowjobfrom Kirsty Potter, after dating her for
more than a year, but followinga spot of locker room bragging that got
loose. Thank you very much,Stephen Adams. I was soon at the
(08:18):
dumping end of a very public breakup, and I deserved it. And so
it wouldn't be until I was nineteenwhen I lost my virginity to Emily Curtis
upstairs at a house party. Theysay romance is dead. More girls followed,
not as many as I'd have likedat the time, but there were
a few more. Nonetheless, Soto find myself kissing a man passionately kissing
(08:46):
a man at an office party wasas much a surprise to me at that
moment as it would have been tomy childhood friends. And there was nothing
especially special about Scott, who wasabout as plain looking as me, just
another face in the crowd passing by, albeit in a moderately fashionable suit.
(09:07):
But under the glow of the dimmedoffice lights, he looked incredible. The
shadows casting down his face seemed tostrengthen his features, his jaw line,
his perfectly straight nose, and hislarge, glistening brown eyes. Suddenly nothing
made sense the excessive admiration I hadharbored for Scott's unflappable professionalism, the way
(09:33):
he calmly dealt with stressful situations,his fantastic sense of humor. Had it
been something more? The kiss wasover before I had time to realize what
was happening. I don't know ifthe delay was due to alcohol or sheer
shark or hey, maybe it wasjust both. It was me who stopped
(09:54):
the kiss. Strangely enough, Scottelevated his eyebrows in a combination of shark
and an expression I was about torealize was pleasure when we were interrupted by
the dead pan voice of Vicky fromreception, attempting to surpass her utter glee.
Oh, she said, barely containingher smile. Vicky, I gasped,
(10:18):
looking at the small tubby receptionist.Panic gripped me. Now, that
may be a phrase people overused,but I seemed to feel a giant hand
grab my heart and squeeze it out. Seemed to flow only adrenaline, and
my instincts told me No. Screamedat me to run. I should go,
(10:39):
I finally said, to nobody inparticular. I practically ran from the
two of them and the gossip thatwas surely about to break out. I
could swear that I heard Scott callafter me as I stormed down the hallway,
but who could be sure with thethumping base in the background. Before
long, I was out of thedoors of the building by fear, and
(11:01):
I'm sorry to admit by shame.It seems strange to admit that now,
but sadly it's the truth. Icrossed the road, avoiding the brutal drivers
you come to expect, and headedtoward the library. As you already know,
there after a good cry, Ivomited. I'd like to tell you
it was down to nerves, butsomehow, I don't think you'll believe me.
(11:24):
A cold breeze shook some amber leavesalong the steps, wrapping themselves around
my feet. I reached for oneand examined it for no reason at all,
before I was startled by the openingof the library doors. Behind me.
There in the dead of night,I saw a little girl walking out.
She was clinging onto a stack ofbooks that almost reached her nose.
(11:48):
She couldn't have been older than ten, and was dressed in an old frock
the kind you force on kids forthose vintage photo shoots. Bemused. I
waited for a parent or anyone tofollow her, but she seemed to be
alone. I sniffed to clear mythroat, not realizing I somehow had some
vomit in my nose, and afterthat moment of unpleasantness, I shifted to
(12:11):
speak to the girl. Be carefulon those stairs, I offered. She
stretched her head to look down andseemed to agree with my sentiment. Thanks,
she said, you should be carefultoo. You wouldn't understanding that sick,
I looked down, embarrassed. Ialso didn't register how unusual her voice
(12:31):
seemed. There was an accent thatreminded me of home, But that wasn't
it. The voice seemed to echo, and as such, her words seemed
to linger in my head. Aftershe'd spoken, she could have told me
that I was the President of theUnited States, and it had taken me
a few minutes to realize that Iwasn't. Yeah, gross, right,
(12:52):
I answered, yep. I stoodup and navigated around the mess on the
steps, wiping my eyes. Doyou want a hand with those books?
Oh? Yes, please? Ileaned over and took the pile from some
of the forward facing spines. Icould see quite an eclectic mix. One
flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, asomewhat inappropriate choice, I thought, A
(13:16):
Brief History of Time, Little Women, the God Delusion, amongst others.
Quite the mix you have here,I noted. I'd like to think so,
she replied, I've read some ofthem before. Actually, whatever really
could? Yeah? We reached thebottom of the stairs, and at this
point no one else had left thelong since darkened doors of the library.
(13:39):
So who are you with exactly?Not only was I concerned as to why
there was a young child in themiddle of Manhattan unattended, but I was
also aware of how my interest inher might seem to the average passer by.
Luckily, New Yorkers tend to keeptheir head down at night for better
or worse. Just me and don'tworry, she replied. Most people don't
(14:01):
see me unless they need to,or I want them to beg pardon.
People see me when they need to, she repeated, almost annoyed. I
got the impression she'd had this conversationmore times than she could remember. Like
you you need some help right now, you think, well, evidently,
(14:22):
but this is good. It meansyou get to come and take a ride
on my lift, your lift,yes, but don't worry about it,
and we'll be there soon anyway.And she was right. Only a few
blocks walked down Fifth Avenue when wereached a building that seemed to be our
destination. I hadn't seen it beforemyself, and I'd worked in the area
(14:43):
for close to four years by thispoint. We walked into the reception,
which was strangely empty, and waitedfor the lift to arrive at the ground
floor. I'd placed the books onthe reception desk as instructed, and as
I did, the last of thealcohols seemed to leave my system. We
waited for a few moments in silence, and I felt strangely at ease with
(15:03):
the situation, which, looking backand telling you right now, seems completely
bizarre, but at the time itfelt entirely normal. I felt totally compliant
with the girl's plan. She feltlike a force of nature, like a
sudden rainstorm. You can't stop therain. All you can do is choose
(15:24):
how you react to it. Thelift finally arrived and we stepped in.
It was gorgeous inside and reminded mevery much like the ones in the plaza.
It took us up standing off abell as we passed each floor until
(15:46):
we reached the eighth floor. Thena strange thing happened. Wealth was strange
within the context of this whole thing. The doors opened, but almost immediately
they closed together and the lift descendedquite suddenly with a stomach lurching jerk.
Weird, I said, for somereason, not phased by an elevator that
(16:08):
seemed to work on its own,I was worried about this, She replied,
The lift doesn't know what floor totake you to your issue. Let's
call it has more consequences than yourealize. We felt the lift slow as
it approached the sixth floor again,the doors opened, but again closed,
and lurched us upward once more.Thankfully, by this point I was completely
(16:32):
sober. Okay, so let meexplain, she started again. Each floor
has a speciality. She stopped talkingand leaned against the side of the lift,
putting her ear to the wall thatwas the sixth floor, for example,
where we deal with denial, uncertainty, and fear. She smiled as
if someone were whispering in her ear, and joined me at my side once
(16:53):
more. Okay, so the lifthas things sussed out. Now wait back
to floor eight. And what doyou deal with on floor eight? I
asked, a little scared, dishonesty, sacrisy. She rolled off, and
then she locked her eyes with mineand lies lies afraid. So the lift
(17:15):
then arrived at the eighth floor.Though I hardly noticed. You may not
realize it, but when you weresitting by the library, you already knew
how you felt. Maybe you alwayshave. In fact, I did to
say, deep down, you alreadyknow who you are. You just need
to stop lying to yourself. Thosewords hit me like a ton of bricks.
(17:38):
She was right, I knew howI felt before I even walked after
Scott. After all, it's possibleto lie to yourself so adamantly and so
completely that you start to believe it. Yes there'd been girls, and yes
they've been good times. But lookingback now, right now, I see
that I'd gone through the motions,done what was expected of a lad growing
(18:03):
up. You know, we gofrom telling kids to ask for permission to
use the toilet one moment to tellingthem to decide what their entire future will
be the next. No wonder,some young people can't figure themselves out,
No wonder, so many repress dowhat they can to feel like they belong
somewhere anywhere. I stood and experiencedan eternity within seconds, and then,
(18:29):
looking outside of the lift doors,I could see the corridors of my own
office building. Don't ask me how, That's just how it was. The
lights were low, but the musicwas still playing. Clearly the party was
still going in full swing. Iturned to the girl, whose name I
never caught, and thanked her.I knelt and gave her a hug,
(18:51):
which she returned warmly. Again,looking back, this all seems so bizarre,
and I almost wish I'd spoken toher some more, because when I
stepped out and turned back to saygoodbye. She was gone. All I
saw was the door to the supplycupboard. I took a deep breath and
walked back into the party, ignoringthe hushed giggles of some of my colleagues.
(19:12):
I picked up two bottles of beer, found Scott and sat next to
him. He took the drink andrepaid me with a handsome smile. Hey
you, he said, Hey,I replied, and no, we didn't
dance the slow song at the endof the party, but we did share
(19:34):
a few more drinks, a lotof laughs, and we're actually still in
touch. Just friends, but afriendship I'm glad to have. It hadn't
been a quick journey to fully understandwho I am. Hell, it still
isn't sometimes, but thanks to thegirl and her lift, it's been a
much easier one. And now wecome to the point of this little tale.
(19:56):
Some wise, if unusual words ofadvice, If you ever come across
a young English girl, dressed outof time and probably acting it too,
then give her a little smile andlet her know that you can see her.
She might just save your life.Today's episode featured David Alt as the
(20:27):
narrator and Amber Collins as Victoria.Our author was Mark Nixon. You can
find more of his work at Shadowsat thedoor dot com. Today's custom score
and our intro and ultro theme songswere created by our resident composer, Niko
Vites of We Talk of Dreams.Find Nico at We Talk of Dreams dot
com and streaming on Twitch. Artworkis by Janette Andromeda, illustrator, artist,
(20:52):
YouTuber and all around amazing human.Find her being creative at Janette Creations
dot com. Sound design was createdby Davis Walden, our new sound designer
and the creator of the Veridian Wildpodcast. You can find the show at
the Veridian Wild dot com. That'sVeridian spelled v I r I d I
(21:14):
A N, or you can subscribeto it wherever you get your podcasts.
Victoria's Lift creator and producer is DanielFoitzec of Ninth Story Studios. That's Me,
Don't Forget. Chapter two of ourminiseries To Those Who Thrive in the
Dark will be posted on Patreon inJuly and return to the free show this
December. Season five is coming soon. M Do you like me and my
(22:30):
Lift? Please tell me by writinga short review of the show in the
iTunes and leaving me some gold stars. It helps others to find their way
here too. I like gold stars. Can I have lots? Pretty?
Please leave me stars and reviews atiTunes dot Victoria's lift dot com.
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