June 23, 2025 • 33 mins
Today’s guest is the heart behind every "Mom, you got this!" moment ❤️👩👧👦. Renee Thomas Hawkley—author, former teacher, and mother of eight—is here to talk about her latest book Once Upon an Amateur Mom 📘. Through laughter, chaos, and tender truths, she reminds us that every spilled juice box and last-minute science project has meaning. We’re diving deep into the joyful mess of motherhood, community, and the universal truth that parents are learning in real-time. Tune in for warmth, wisdom, and all the love in between. 🌼📚✨
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You are now listening to Vigilantes Radio, presented by the
only one media group. This is the people's choice but
quality interviews celebrities and special guests, hosted by Demitrius Denny Reynolds.
Call in to join the mix at seven oh one
eighth one, nine eight one three. For the complete archive
of episodes, visit only onemediagroup dot com and be sure
(00:24):
to like us on Facebook At Vigilantes Radio. We welcome
all enjoy the show. Ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome your
host Demitrius who Demi Black Reynolds. Enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hey, Hey, Hey, what's going on? Guys? Welcome to another
incredible episode of Vigilantes Radio live right here on iHeart
to Radio and I am your host of Deani. We
have a very special guest for you guys, so you
could definitely want to stick around for that. And as
a matter of fact, text your buddies texture family members
are even shared on social media right now and let
(01:04):
them know that we are about to dive deep into
another interview. Before I bring my guests on, I do
want to say that don't lose sight. This is the
frequency of the fearless in the world that glorifies perfection.
There's a quiet power and the imperfect moments. You know,
the ones that don't go viral, that don't get framed
(01:27):
on the wall, but live forever in our memories. You
know the ones I'm talking about, messy kitchens, midsmatch socks,
late night story times, and good night prayers whispered through tears.
Today we are stepping into the heart of such warrior,
a woman who didn't need a cape to be a hero,
(01:48):
just a laundry basket and a whole lot of faith.
Her words have cradled mothers, Her stories have salting chaos
and to calm, and her truth reminds us that the
most sacred titles often calm will spit up on your
shirt and a schedule that runs on love. So this
one's for the moms, the dads, the caretakers, and anyone
(02:10):
brave enough to show up, especially on the days they
don't feel ready. This episode is a gentle hand on
your shoulder, a quiet me too, and a loud celebration
of the amateur moments that become eternal legacies. You're not
just here for a talk show, and this isn't just radio.
This is revival for your mind, body, and spirit. This
(02:34):
is Vigilantes Radio Life. My name is Coach Deani, and
change is possible.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready to ready?
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Well, let's go, let's go, All right, all right again,
Welcome to the show. You're listening to VRL. That's Vigilantes
Radio Live right here on iHeartRadio, and I'm your host, Deani.
Our interviews are designed to go beyond music, news, books, art, acting, films, technology, education, entrepreneurship, entertainment, spirituality,
(03:26):
and sometimes even past that thing that we call the ego.
Our interviews are designed to go behind the scenes into
the minds of these incredible human beings, you know, the
ones that are out there giving it. They're all for me,
for you, and for the world. Well, ladies and gentlemen,
Tonight's guests. She's raised eight kids across six states and
(03:47):
two continents. She's a former elementary school teacher, a writer
whose heartfelt words have been featured in Reader's Digest, and
the author of Once Upon an Amateur Momms.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Hawkley captures the hilarity, heart ache, and heroism of everyday parent,
and her message is powerful, Her voice is real, and
her mission is love. She reminds us all that the
ordinary moments often become extraordinary.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
So please join me in saying welcome friend to Renee
Thomas Hawkley. Hey, Hey, welcome to the show.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
Hello. Can you hear me?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I can hear you. How are you?
Speaker 6 (04:28):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:29):
That's wonderful. Okay, I've just been hoping that.
Speaker 6 (04:33):
The connection would go through, and I'm not very good
at connecting with all of this, you know, all of
the things that you have to plug in and unplug
and replug in, and so I'm just delighted to hear
your voice.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yeah, well, what seems like you got it figured out,
and we're we are excited that you were here before
we really dive into everything what's been on your heart
and mind lately? As both a writer and a mom
who's seen.
Speaker 6 (05:05):
It all, Well, the thing that's always on my heart
is my children, our family who might be not having
a great day today. Somebody broke their arm or had
(05:26):
a spell of peanut butter on the floor, or.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Just all kinds of.
Speaker 6 (05:33):
Things that come into a family that you can't expect
because what is going to happen is just going to happen.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Indeed, indeed, well, I think your journey began when you
first started writing Mother's Minutes, and then this led you
to publish a book. Did you ever imagine that it
would lead you to publish a book.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
No, not at all that I did. Sometimes I would
just get frustrated with something that happened or didn't happen,
and I would write a memory down so that I
could have it for later. And then as I started
(06:21):
to review some of those memories, not all of them good,
some of them funny, some of them frustrating. If you're
a mom, or if you're a parent, then you know
what I'm talking about. But it's just nice to have
those little sketches that are written down, that you remember
(06:43):
those and they turn in to be treasures later on.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yes, indeed, do you remember the very first mother minute
that you wrote? And what was it about?
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
I do.
Speaker 6 (06:56):
It was the title of it was graduation day. It
was the year that our oldest son graduated from high school.
And it was just a time that I hadn't anticipated
that our son would be leaving our home, going to
college and meeting the big world all by himself, and
(07:22):
we were going to be without his presence because he
would be leaving us and for long periods of time,
and that was a time of great reflection for me.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Did you realize that the day that he graduated or
did it start to sit in before he walked the stage.
Speaker 6 (07:49):
I think it was like a week or so before
when I realized that, oh, I need to write some
of these feelings down because this is this is I'm happy,
I'm sad, afraid, all of the emotions that a parents
have when things are going to change, as they always
(08:12):
do change months by month and year by year and
sometimes day by day.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yes, yes, So how long did you write Mother's Minutes
before you begin to work on your book?
Speaker 6 (08:28):
I would say I wrote the Mother's Minutes. They became
a newspaper column, and so I would write something each week,
which was good for me because there are things that
happen every week in a mother's life or in a
parent's life.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
That are either funny are.
Speaker 6 (08:53):
Not so funny, their growth experiences. They're just things that
happened to you that perhaps other parents would relate to.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Yeah, so you and Dan raised eight kids across two countries.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
Yeah, well, across.
Speaker 6 (09:19):
A lot of places that we went because my husband Dan,
who is deceased now, but he was in the military
US Air Force, and so we had the great opportunity
to live in several places throughout.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
The United States.
Speaker 6 (09:41):
And then we also had the opportunity to live overseas
in the Philippines for three years, which was.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
Very very outstanding.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
Opportunity for us, for me and particularly for our kids
because they they were used to being American kids and
they hadn't seen what it what it means to have
all the opportunities that they have in this country as
(10:15):
compared to children who live in live in a bamboo
house for instance. Wow, it was it was an education
for me and for our children, and a good education
(10:35):
for us to see and to participate in other and
another culture.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Wow. How long were you there in the Philippines?
Speaker 5 (10:48):
Three years?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
There's quite some time to get adjusted or not.
Speaker 5 (10:56):
It's many.
Speaker 6 (10:56):
This is kind of a personal thing. But we had
told my husband, now, when we get to the Philippines,
we are not gonna we are not going to have
a child, because I didn't I wanted all of my
children to be born in the United States. So we
made a pact we are not going to have a
(11:19):
child when we're in the field living in the Philippines.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
But we did.
Speaker 6 (11:28):
And that's actually been a blessing for us. You know,
God works in mysterious ways, and this particular son, who
was the seventh of eight of our children, he was
able to I think seventeen years later, he was able
(11:49):
to go back to the Philippines where he had been
born and serve as a missionary there for a couple
of years. So, you know, life.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
Happens and you say you're not.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
Going to do this, you are going to do this.
You know, you think you're going to have your way
all the time. But many times in my life and
in our lives as a family, things have happened out
of the ordinary, and then they've turned in later they've
turned into blessings of some sort.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, you know, we have our plans and then God
has his plan.
Speaker 6 (12:30):
Oh yeah, still to this day indeed and beyond.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Yes, so you also have a background in teaching and literacy. Yes,
did that shape of weight that you parent?
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (12:49):
I would? I would? I would have to say.
Speaker 6 (12:51):
My mother, Verla Thomas, is the one who taught me
about words and read to me over and over the
different stories of Little Red writing Hood and teeny Tiny Woman,
which was my favorite story, and I loved reading from
(13:18):
the first time that she sat with us and would read.
And so I have.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
To give my mother credit for anything.
Speaker 6 (13:31):
That I have to do with words, because she she
just helped me to see that that was that was
my strength, that was what I wanted to do.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
I wanted to read all the time. I wanted to
write all the time, not so.
Speaker 6 (13:50):
Much quilping and knitting some of the other things that
that other people might want to do.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
I like words.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, And speaking of words, the phrase amateur mom is
so honest and relatable. I mean, you know things, kids do,
crazy things all the time, and there isn't really a
manual for what kids do. Sometimes you can't page sixty
(14:29):
four kid. Yeah, there is a manual like that, right,
It's so true. Do you think that title gives you
permission to let go of perfection and just you're learning
as you go?
Speaker 5 (14:43):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (14:44):
Yes, absolutely. That's why I chose that title is because
you start out as an amateur mom, and here I am.
I don't have children my home being raised anymore.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Uh.
Speaker 6 (15:04):
That said, the amateur part of it is still very
much with me as I uh spend time with our grandchildren.
My own children still sometimes they do things that surprised me.
(15:25):
For instance, Jeanette Child number eight just finished three hikes
in Idaho here this summer that are really challenging hikes,
and I'm just astounded that she has finished those already,
(15:47):
and it's not even July yet. She had three months
to complete those that she's already finished finished with them.
And it's not like these are you know, like up
and down a hill three or four times. They're challenging,
and I'm just amazed at that. But yes, it's just
(16:14):
it's amateur. I feel like it's amateur the whole way.
For me.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
My second book is going to be.
Speaker 6 (16:23):
Amateur Moms Happily ever After, and then I'm going to
do a third book that's amateur mom to the end.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
I like that. And you're letting moms know that they
don't have to be perfect, you know.
Speaker 6 (16:38):
Exactly well even if they even if they have sometimes
you want to be perfect and you know, just something,
but you just don't have to do that to yourself,
and particularly you don't want to do that to your
children because they know that you're not perfect, and they
(17:05):
know there's going to be yelling. Sometimes, there's going to
be times when you're crying you're disappointed or something, there's
going to be a lot of emotion. And that's one
key to being a mom is just facing yourself in
(17:30):
the mirror and saying, I'm not doing this perfectly, but
I'm doing my best.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Yeah, you know, I've had one of my children have
six Oh how wonderful. Yes, girls, boys, three boys, three girls?
Speaker 5 (17:50):
Oh how great? What are their ages?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Eighteen, sixteen, fourteen, teen, seven and four.
Speaker 6 (18:05):
Oh oh, I'm so jealous of views right now, because
it's got to be I just remember that as a
good time when everyone's together and you you know where
(18:25):
where they sleep every night, they're under your roof, and
at the when they go to bed, it's just like
how everything's all tucked in. Although I said that something
to that effect at one.
Speaker 5 (18:44):
Place that I was I.
Speaker 6 (18:45):
Think it was just in one of our home evening
time things, and one of my sons, Anthony, piped up
and said, oh, mom, you just thought we were home
in bed anyway, according he was a little more of
a devious when during those teenage years, so.
Speaker 5 (19:09):
Things happened to when they're teenagers.
Speaker 6 (19:12):
That you find out only later that they didn't always.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
Comes through on all of the rules.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
But yeah, it's sometimes it's a crazy time, especially family
movie night. They're all talking at the same time. Last
night we had a family movie night and we're all
talking at the same time, Like, guys, let's settle down.
I want to start the movie. It took thirty minutes exactly.
Speaker 5 (19:47):
So true?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Is it those moments that I'm living in the moment?
I forget that we live in a digital world and
you know, can record and you know have these keepsakes.
But wow, eight kids, I'm sure that you have a
lot of moments. And you said that moms are keepers
of moments. Do you have any particular moment that you
(20:10):
keep so close that still makes you emotional?
Speaker 5 (20:14):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (20:16):
So many. The one that just comes to mind immediately
is our son Kyle was he didn't always think things
through real well, and he when he was maybe three
years old, he was standing in front of.
Speaker 5 (20:39):
The well, what do you call the full full.
Speaker 6 (20:44):
Mirror where you can see your whole body. I can't
remember the name of the or what you say that
it's a full body mirror where you can see yourself
from the top of your head to the to your feet. Well,
he went, uh, and was looking at himself in the
mirror and then he pulled the He took his fingers
(21:08):
and pulled the mirror from the bottom. It came tumbling down.
The whole mirror came down, tumbling down, but it on
its way down, it.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
Clipped his feet.
Speaker 6 (21:24):
So he broke every every bone in his toes or
not in his toes, but right up.
Speaker 5 (21:32):
Above the toes, you know.
Speaker 6 (21:33):
Yeah, so all ten of those bones were smashed or
by came down with that mirror. And I'll just never
forget that moment.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
Of just what what what to do about that?
Speaker 6 (21:56):
Because I myself went into shock at that time, so
I wasn't able to think think what to do? Yeah,
And I just remember having to having to realize in
that moment that I didn't have a choice to I
(22:18):
couldn't just say, oh, that happened, and I can't do
anything about it, because I had to do something about it.
So sometimes you like to kind of sneak away from
responsibility at the moment that it happens. But that's one
that I remember. When it happened, I had to do
(22:42):
what I needed to do to get into.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
The doctor, and uh, I didn't have the choice. I
didn't have a.
Speaker 6 (22:51):
Choice to to cry or to be weak.
Speaker 5 (22:58):
I had to be strung on.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, those chaotic moments are tough. And maybe this can
be some advice for mothers out there, because as parents,
you are constantly pouring into your child their development, making
sure their journey is going accord to plans sometimes, but
how do you find space and peace for yourself amid
(23:25):
the chaos and how do you refuel?
Speaker 5 (23:33):
I think the Scripture has helped me a lot prayer.
Speaker 6 (23:37):
I really couldn't navigate without prayer. And I don't necessarily
name the prayers that you nail down and take a
special time to say them.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
I mean.
Speaker 6 (23:54):
I think in the back of my head I almost always.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Have some.
Speaker 6 (24:02):
Not a demanding prayer, but just like a feeling of like,
oh please, like if I'm driving, because now I'm not
as good of a driver as I used to be,
which priva, I probably wasn't a very good driver ever,
but but now I just have.
Speaker 5 (24:20):
To think more more.
Speaker 6 (24:25):
Like like somebody who I really need help in driving
because I have to watch more closely, and and I
need to be an adult wherever I go.
Speaker 5 (24:39):
I need to be able.
Speaker 6 (24:41):
To say things and to do things in a mature way, and.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
To be a grown up.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yeah. Indeed. Indeed, so you've talked about starting over again
and again as a parent. Uh, these stories are available,
and what's upon an amateur mom? What pushed you over
the age to publish this book.
Speaker 6 (25:15):
Well, as I had said before, I did a column
for a few years, and then when we moved to Boise,
I had other things that needed to that I needed
to do and drop, so I didn't do that column anymore.
Speaker 7 (25:37):
And so.
Speaker 6 (25:39):
Recently, well in the past few years, I've thought, oh,
you know, once are our kids find that box of
all those columns, They're just gonna you know, they're just
gonna talk. They're not gonna be interested in those. But
then I had I thought, but they might be, and
they might be interested in them if they were in
(26:01):
a book. And I wanted I want my children to
know to remember some of those events, and I want
them to know me. I want my grandchildren to know
me as a person, how I felt about things, but
in a lighthearted way. I don't want them to just
(26:26):
just have a book of like names and dates and
you know what happened and what didn't happen. And I
wanted it to be lighthearted and something that they would
that they could even think of themselves and as experiencing
the ups and downs and the heartwarming things and the
(26:52):
heartbreaking things of being a parent. So I just thought, well.
Speaker 5 (26:57):
I can just put them in a book. So that's
what I'm doing.
Speaker 6 (27:03):
I when as I'm going through and Nanima, I do
edit them quite a bit, edit them down, or edit
them into a different a little different pattern here and there.
But it's just fun to go over the those memories
and and write them for my children and theirs.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Indeed, indeed, what a legacy. All right, before we let
you go, if there is a young or you know,
older parent overwhelmed and is listening right now, what would
you tell them?
Speaker 6 (27:42):
I would tell them, thank you for for taking on
the most.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
Difficult It's the.
Speaker 6 (27:52):
Most difficult job in the world. It's the most challenging
and the most rewarding, the frustrating, the most time consuming.
But the title of parent, the title of mother, the
title of dad, those are titles that stay with you
(28:18):
not only in this life, but that when your mother
dies and when you're when when your parents are gone,
they still.
Speaker 5 (28:28):
Have that title.
Speaker 6 (28:29):
The best title that you could ever have in the
world is that of mom or dad. What could be
what could be more precious than that?
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Indeed, where can our listeners pick up a copy of
your book?
Speaker 6 (28:50):
They can go on Amazon right now, the pricing on
those is just like over I don't I don't know
how to get it down that. It's like, I wouldn't
pay for it if I them, But I mean, if
I had a way of sending them.
Speaker 5 (29:10):
I could do. I have copies that I would could do,
but I don't even know how to do. I don't
know how to market market it.
Speaker 6 (29:19):
But it is on Amazon. But I'm just saying I
wouldn't pay for her that amount for them, but they
used to be less, so maybe I can call Amazon
and get them to change the price.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
All right, Well, guys, we will have the link in
the description of this episode. And what an incredible session
with Renee Thomas Hawkley. She is the author of Once
Upon an Amateur Mom. From Chaotic Kitchens to Quiet Courage.
She reminded us that being an amateur mom is actually
(29:58):
the highest badge of honor because it means you're doing
it with the love, grace, and the guts to keep going.
So if you need something to read about navigating parenting
and the importance of capturing little moments. There are deep
truths that connect all families. So Renee, we appreciate your honesty,
(30:18):
your warmth, and your humor. They are truly a gift.
And if you enjoy this episode, subscribe to Vigilantes Radio
Live and leave a rating. Share this episode with someone
who needs a smile today, And if you support the show,
you could do so by buying me a coffee at
buy me a Coffee dot com for a slash Vigilantes Radio.
We'll catch you next time right here where stories live
(30:40):
and revival begins.
Speaker 6 (30:42):
Thank you so much, all right, thank you so much
for inviting me, and it was a pleasure to be
with you.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
You're welcome. There was a pleasure talking with you.
Speaker 5 (30:50):
All right.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
By now bye, peace to all.
Speaker 7 (30:55):
My name is Deni and I am the host of
Vigilance He's Radio Live. I think that we are beyond
just asking cool questions and getting cool responses. I think
that we are here as creatives to provide an example
(31:16):
that you can do things different outside of expectations. Because
some of us simply were not born into the club.
But there is perhaps a door window or backgate that
we can leave a clue for you. To get into.
Life is short, but there are plenty of moments to
(31:39):
try and get it right. Pursuing your dreams and learning
from mistakes may be tough, but regret it's tougher to
book your interview. Email us at v radio at only
one Media group dot com that's a v as a
victorious or visit only one media group dot com. I'm
(32:03):
counting on you, Heaven. We all are counting on you
to step into your purpose and your passion. You are
listening to Vigilantes Radio live on iHeartRadio, providing you with
an opportunity to dive deeper.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
You and now listening to vigil Lances Radio, the people's
choice for quality interviews, art, music and heart subex hosted
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are available for free download at www. Dots only one
Media greet dot com
You are now listening to Vigilantes Radio, presented by the
only one media group. This is the people's choice but
quality interviews celebrities and special guests, hosted by Demitrius Denny Reynolds.
Call in to join the mix at seven oh one
eighth one, nine eight one three. For the complete archive
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(00:24):
to like us on Facebook At Vigilantes Radio. We welcome
all enjoy the show. Ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome your
host Demitrius who Demi Black Reynolds. Enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hey, Hey, Hey, what's going on? Guys? Welcome to another
incredible episode of Vigilantes Radio live right here on iHeart
to Radio and I am your host of Deani. We
have a very special guest for you guys, so you
could definitely want to stick around for that. And as
a matter of fact, text your buddies texture family members
are even shared on social media right now and let
(01:04):
them know that we are about to dive deep into
another interview. Before I bring my guests on, I do
want to say that don't lose sight. This is the
frequency of the fearless in the world that glorifies perfection.
There's a quiet power and the imperfect moments. You know,
the ones that don't go viral, that don't get framed
(01:27):
on the wall, but live forever in our memories. You
know the ones I'm talking about, messy kitchens, midsmatch socks,
late night story times, and good night prayers whispered through tears.
Today we are stepping into the heart of such warrior,
a woman who didn't need a cape to be a hero,
(01:48):
just a laundry basket and a whole lot of faith.
Her words have cradled mothers, Her stories have salting chaos
and to calm, and her truth reminds us that the
most sacred titles often calm will spit up on your
shirt and a schedule that runs on love. So this
one's for the moms, the dads, the caretakers, and anyone
(02:10):
brave enough to show up, especially on the days they
don't feel ready. This episode is a gentle hand on
your shoulder, a quiet me too, and a loud celebration
of the amateur moments that become eternal legacies. You're not
just here for a talk show, and this isn't just radio.
This is revival for your mind, body, and spirit. This
(02:34):
is Vigilantes Radio Life. My name is Coach Deani, and
change is possible.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready to ready?
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Well, let's go, let's go, All right, all right again,
Welcome to the show. You're listening to VRL. That's Vigilantes
Radio Live right here on iHeartRadio, and I'm your host, Deani.
Our interviews are designed to go beyond music, news, books, art, acting, films, technology, education, entrepreneurship, entertainment, spirituality,
(03:26):
and sometimes even past that thing that we call the ego.
Our interviews are designed to go behind the scenes into
the minds of these incredible human beings, you know, the
ones that are out there giving it. They're all for me,
for you, and for the world. Well, ladies and gentlemen,
Tonight's guests. She's raised eight kids across six states and
(03:47):
two continents. She's a former elementary school teacher, a writer
whose heartfelt words have been featured in Reader's Digest, and
the author of Once Upon an Amateur Momms.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Hawkley captures the hilarity, heart ache, and heroism of everyday parent,
and her message is powerful, Her voice is real, and
her mission is love. She reminds us all that the
ordinary moments often become extraordinary.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
So please join me in saying welcome friend to Renee
Thomas Hawkley. Hey, Hey, welcome to the show.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
Hello. Can you hear me?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I can hear you. How are you?
Speaker 6 (04:28):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:29):
That's wonderful. Okay, I've just been hoping that.
Speaker 6 (04:33):
The connection would go through, and I'm not very good
at connecting with all of this, you know, all of
the things that you have to plug in and unplug
and replug in, and so I'm just delighted to hear
your voice.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yeah, well, what seems like you got it figured out,
and we're we are excited that you were here before
we really dive into everything what's been on your heart
and mind lately? As both a writer and a mom
who's seen.
Speaker 6 (05:05):
It all, Well, the thing that's always on my heart
is my children, our family who might be not having
a great day today. Somebody broke their arm or had
(05:26):
a spell of peanut butter on the floor, or.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Just all kinds of.
Speaker 6 (05:33):
Things that come into a family that you can't expect
because what is going to happen is just going to happen.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Indeed, indeed, well, I think your journey began when you
first started writing Mother's Minutes, and then this led you
to publish a book. Did you ever imagine that it
would lead you to publish a book.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
No, not at all that I did. Sometimes I would
just get frustrated with something that happened or didn't happen,
and I would write a memory down so that I
could have it for later. And then as I started
(06:21):
to review some of those memories, not all of them good,
some of them funny, some of them frustrating. If you're
a mom, or if you're a parent, then you know
what I'm talking about. But it's just nice to have
those little sketches that are written down, that you remember
(06:43):
those and they turn in to be treasures later on.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yes, indeed, do you remember the very first mother minute
that you wrote? And what was it about?
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
I do.
Speaker 6 (06:56):
It was the title of it was graduation day. It
was the year that our oldest son graduated from high school.
And it was just a time that I hadn't anticipated
that our son would be leaving our home, going to
college and meeting the big world all by himself, and
(07:22):
we were going to be without his presence because he
would be leaving us and for long periods of time,
and that was a time of great reflection for me.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Did you realize that the day that he graduated or
did it start to sit in before he walked the stage.
Speaker 6 (07:49):
I think it was like a week or so before
when I realized that, oh, I need to write some
of these feelings down because this is this is I'm happy,
I'm sad, afraid, all of the emotions that a parents
have when things are going to change, as they always
(08:12):
do change months by month and year by year and
sometimes day by day.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yes, yes, So how long did you write Mother's Minutes
before you begin to work on your book?
Speaker 6 (08:28):
I would say I wrote the Mother's Minutes. They became
a newspaper column, and so I would write something each week,
which was good for me because there are things that
happen every week in a mother's life or in a
parent's life.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
That are either funny are.
Speaker 6 (08:53):
Not so funny, their growth experiences. They're just things that
happened to you that perhaps other parents would relate to.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Yeah, so you and Dan raised eight kids across two countries.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
Yeah, well, across.
Speaker 6 (09:19):
A lot of places that we went because my husband Dan,
who is deceased now, but he was in the military
US Air Force, and so we had the great opportunity
to live in several places throughout.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
The United States.
Speaker 6 (09:41):
And then we also had the opportunity to live overseas
in the Philippines for three years, which was.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
Very very outstanding.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
Opportunity for us, for me and particularly for our kids
because they they were used to being American kids and
they hadn't seen what it what it means to have
all the opportunities that they have in this country as
(10:15):
compared to children who live in live in a bamboo
house for instance. Wow, it was it was an education
for me and for our children, and a good education
(10:35):
for us to see and to participate in other and
another culture.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Wow. How long were you there in the Philippines?
Speaker 5 (10:48):
Three years?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
There's quite some time to get adjusted or not.
Speaker 5 (10:56):
It's many.
Speaker 6 (10:56):
This is kind of a personal thing. But we had
told my husband, now, when we get to the Philippines,
we are not gonna we are not going to have
a child, because I didn't I wanted all of my
children to be born in the United States. So we
made a pact we are not going to have a
(11:19):
child when we're in the field living in the Philippines.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
But we did.
Speaker 6 (11:28):
And that's actually been a blessing for us. You know,
God works in mysterious ways, and this particular son, who
was the seventh of eight of our children, he was
able to I think seventeen years later, he was able
(11:49):
to go back to the Philippines where he had been
born and serve as a missionary there for a couple
of years. So, you know, life.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
Happens and you say you're not.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
Going to do this, you are going to do this.
You know, you think you're going to have your way
all the time. But many times in my life and
in our lives as a family, things have happened out
of the ordinary, and then they've turned in later they've
turned into blessings of some sort.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, you know, we have our plans and then God
has his plan.
Speaker 6 (12:30):
Oh yeah, still to this day indeed and beyond.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Yes, so you also have a background in teaching and literacy. Yes,
did that shape of weight that you parent?
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (12:49):
I would? I would? I would have to say.
Speaker 6 (12:51):
My mother, Verla Thomas, is the one who taught me
about words and read to me over and over the
different stories of Little Red writing Hood and teeny Tiny Woman,
which was my favorite story, and I loved reading from
(13:18):
the first time that she sat with us and would read.
And so I have.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
To give my mother credit for anything.
Speaker 6 (13:31):
That I have to do with words, because she she
just helped me to see that that was that was
my strength, that was what I wanted to do.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
I wanted to read all the time. I wanted to
write all the time, not so.
Speaker 6 (13:50):
Much quilping and knitting some of the other things that
that other people might want to do.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
I like words.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, And speaking of words, the phrase amateur mom is
so honest and relatable. I mean, you know things, kids do,
crazy things all the time, and there isn't really a
manual for what kids do. Sometimes you can't page sixty
(14:29):
four kid. Yeah, there is a manual like that, right,
It's so true. Do you think that title gives you
permission to let go of perfection and just you're learning
as you go?
Speaker 5 (14:43):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (14:44):
Yes, absolutely. That's why I chose that title is because
you start out as an amateur mom, and here I am.
I don't have children my home being raised anymore.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Uh.
Speaker 6 (15:04):
That said, the amateur part of it is still very
much with me as I uh spend time with our grandchildren.
My own children still sometimes they do things that surprised me.
(15:25):
For instance, Jeanette Child number eight just finished three hikes
in Idaho here this summer that are really challenging hikes,
and I'm just astounded that she has finished those already,
(15:47):
and it's not even July yet. She had three months
to complete those that she's already finished finished with them.
And it's not like these are you know, like up
and down a hill three or four times. They're challenging,
and I'm just amazed at that. But yes, it's just
(16:14):
it's amateur. I feel like it's amateur the whole way.
For me.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
My second book is going to be.
Speaker 6 (16:23):
Amateur Moms Happily ever After, and then I'm going to
do a third book that's amateur mom to the end.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
I like that. And you're letting moms know that they
don't have to be perfect, you know.
Speaker 6 (16:38):
Exactly well even if they even if they have sometimes
you want to be perfect and you know, just something,
but you just don't have to do that to yourself,
and particularly you don't want to do that to your
children because they know that you're not perfect, and they
(17:05):
know there's going to be yelling. Sometimes, there's going to
be times when you're crying you're disappointed or something, there's
going to be a lot of emotion. And that's one
key to being a mom is just facing yourself in
(17:30):
the mirror and saying, I'm not doing this perfectly, but
I'm doing my best.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Yeah, you know, I've had one of my children have
six Oh how wonderful. Yes, girls, boys, three boys, three girls?
Speaker 5 (17:50):
Oh how great? What are their ages?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Eighteen, sixteen, fourteen, teen, seven and four.
Speaker 6 (18:05):
Oh oh, I'm so jealous of views right now, because
it's got to be I just remember that as a
good time when everyone's together and you you know where
(18:25):
where they sleep every night, they're under your roof, and
at the when they go to bed, it's just like
how everything's all tucked in. Although I said that something
to that effect at one.
Speaker 5 (18:44):
Place that I was I.
Speaker 6 (18:45):
Think it was just in one of our home evening
time things, and one of my sons, Anthony, piped up
and said, oh, mom, you just thought we were home
in bed anyway, according he was a little more of
a devious when during those teenage years, so.
Speaker 5 (19:09):
Things happened to when they're teenagers.
Speaker 6 (19:12):
That you find out only later that they didn't always.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
Comes through on all of the rules.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
But yeah, it's sometimes it's a crazy time, especially family
movie night. They're all talking at the same time. Last
night we had a family movie night and we're all
talking at the same time, Like, guys, let's settle down.
I want to start the movie. It took thirty minutes exactly.
Speaker 5 (19:47):
So true?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Is it those moments that I'm living in the moment?
I forget that we live in a digital world and
you know, can record and you know have these keepsakes.
But wow, eight kids, I'm sure that you have a
lot of moments. And you said that moms are keepers
of moments. Do you have any particular moment that you
(20:10):
keep so close that still makes you emotional?
Speaker 5 (20:14):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (20:16):
So many. The one that just comes to mind immediately
is our son Kyle was he didn't always think things
through real well, and he when he was maybe three
years old, he was standing in front of.
Speaker 5 (20:39):
The well, what do you call the full full.
Speaker 6 (20:44):
Mirror where you can see your whole body. I can't
remember the name of the or what you say that
it's a full body mirror where you can see yourself
from the top of your head to the to your feet. Well,
he went, uh, and was looking at himself in the
mirror and then he pulled the He took his fingers
(21:08):
and pulled the mirror from the bottom. It came tumbling down.
The whole mirror came down, tumbling down, but it on
its way down, it.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
Clipped his feet.
Speaker 6 (21:24):
So he broke every every bone in his toes or
not in his toes, but right up.
Speaker 5 (21:32):
Above the toes, you know.
Speaker 6 (21:33):
Yeah, so all ten of those bones were smashed or
by came down with that mirror. And I'll just never
forget that moment.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
Of just what what what to do about that?
Speaker 6 (21:56):
Because I myself went into shock at that time, so
I wasn't able to think think what to do? Yeah,
And I just remember having to having to realize in
that moment that I didn't have a choice to I
(22:18):
couldn't just say, oh, that happened, and I can't do
anything about it, because I had to do something about it.
So sometimes you like to kind of sneak away from
responsibility at the moment that it happens. But that's one
that I remember. When it happened, I had to do
(22:42):
what I needed to do to get into.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
The doctor, and uh, I didn't have the choice. I
didn't have a.
Speaker 6 (22:51):
Choice to to cry or to be weak.
Speaker 5 (22:58):
I had to be strung on.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, those chaotic moments are tough. And maybe this can
be some advice for mothers out there, because as parents,
you are constantly pouring into your child their development, making
sure their journey is going accord to plans sometimes, but
how do you find space and peace for yourself amid
(23:25):
the chaos and how do you refuel?
Speaker 5 (23:33):
I think the Scripture has helped me a lot prayer.
Speaker 6 (23:37):
I really couldn't navigate without prayer. And I don't necessarily
name the prayers that you nail down and take a
special time to say them.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
I mean.
Speaker 6 (23:54):
I think in the back of my head I almost always.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Have some.
Speaker 6 (24:02):
Not a demanding prayer, but just like a feeling of like,
oh please, like if I'm driving, because now I'm not
as good of a driver as I used to be,
which priva, I probably wasn't a very good driver ever,
but but now I just have.
Speaker 5 (24:20):
To think more more.
Speaker 6 (24:25):
Like like somebody who I really need help in driving
because I have to watch more closely, and and I
need to be an adult wherever I go.
Speaker 5 (24:39):
I need to be able.
Speaker 6 (24:41):
To say things and to do things in a mature way, and.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
To be a grown up.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yeah. Indeed. Indeed, so you've talked about starting over again
and again as a parent. Uh, these stories are available,
and what's upon an amateur mom? What pushed you over
the age to publish this book.
Speaker 6 (25:15):
Well, as I had said before, I did a column
for a few years, and then when we moved to Boise,
I had other things that needed to that I needed
to do and drop, so I didn't do that column anymore.
Speaker 7 (25:37):
And so.
Speaker 6 (25:39):
Recently, well in the past few years, I've thought, oh,
you know, once are our kids find that box of
all those columns, They're just gonna you know, they're just
gonna talk. They're not gonna be interested in those. But
then I had I thought, but they might be, and
they might be interested in them if they were in
(26:01):
a book. And I wanted I want my children to
know to remember some of those events, and I want
them to know me. I want my grandchildren to know
me as a person, how I felt about things, but
in a lighthearted way. I don't want them to just
(26:26):
just have a book of like names and dates and
you know what happened and what didn't happen. And I
wanted it to be lighthearted and something that they would
that they could even think of themselves and as experiencing
the ups and downs and the heartwarming things and the
(26:52):
heartbreaking things of being a parent. So I just thought, well.
Speaker 5 (26:57):
I can just put them in a book. So that's
what I'm doing.
Speaker 6 (27:03):
I when as I'm going through and Nanima, I do
edit them quite a bit, edit them down, or edit
them into a different a little different pattern here and there.
But it's just fun to go over the those memories
and and write them for my children and theirs.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Indeed, indeed, what a legacy. All right, before we let
you go, if there is a young or you know,
older parent overwhelmed and is listening right now, what would
you tell them?
Speaker 6 (27:42):
I would tell them, thank you for for taking on
the most.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
Difficult It's the.
Speaker 6 (27:52):
Most difficult job in the world. It's the most challenging
and the most rewarding, the frustrating, the most time consuming.
But the title of parent, the title of mother, the
title of dad, those are titles that stay with you
(28:18):
not only in this life, but that when your mother
dies and when you're when when your parents are gone,
they still.
Speaker 5 (28:28):
Have that title.
Speaker 6 (28:29):
The best title that you could ever have in the
world is that of mom or dad. What could be
what could be more precious than that?
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Indeed, where can our listeners pick up a copy of
your book?
Speaker 6 (28:50):
They can go on Amazon right now, the pricing on
those is just like over I don't I don't know
how to get it down that. It's like, I wouldn't
pay for it if I them, But I mean, if
I had a way of sending them.
Speaker 5 (29:10):
I could do. I have copies that I would could do,
but I don't even know how to do. I don't
know how to market market it.
Speaker 6 (29:19):
But it is on Amazon. But I'm just saying I
wouldn't pay for her that amount for them, but they
used to be less, so maybe I can call Amazon
and get them to change the price.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
All right, Well, guys, we will have the link in
the description of this episode. And what an incredible session
with Renee Thomas Hawkley. She is the author of Once
Upon an Amateur Mom. From Chaotic Kitchens to Quiet Courage.
She reminded us that being an amateur mom is actually
(29:58):
the highest badge of honor because it means you're doing
it with the love, grace, and the guts to keep going.
So if you need something to read about navigating parenting
and the importance of capturing little moments. There are deep
truths that connect all families. So Renee, we appreciate your honesty,
(30:18):
your warmth, and your humor. They are truly a gift.
And if you enjoy this episode, subscribe to Vigilantes Radio
Live and leave a rating. Share this episode with someone
who needs a smile today, And if you support the show,
you could do so by buying me a coffee at
buy me a Coffee dot com for a slash Vigilantes Radio.
We'll catch you next time right here where stories live
(30:40):
and revival begins.
Speaker 6 (30:42):
Thank you so much, all right, thank you so much
for inviting me, and it was a pleasure to be
with you.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
You're welcome. There was a pleasure talking with you.
Speaker 5 (30:50):
All right.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
By now bye, peace to all.
Speaker 7 (30:55):
My name is Deni and I am the host of
Vigilance He's Radio Live. I think that we are beyond
just asking cool questions and getting cool responses. I think
that we are here as creatives to provide an example
(31:16):
that you can do things different outside of expectations. Because
some of us simply were not born into the club.
But there is perhaps a door window or backgate that
we can leave a clue for you. To get into.
Life is short, but there are plenty of moments to
(31:39):
try and get it right. Pursuing your dreams and learning
from mistakes may be tough, but regret it's tougher to
book your interview. Email us at v radio at only
one Media group dot com that's a v as a
victorious or visit only one media group dot com. I'm
(32:03):
counting on you, Heaven. We all are counting on you
to step into your purpose and your passion. You are
listening to Vigilantes Radio live on iHeartRadio, providing you with
an opportunity to dive deeper.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
You and now listening to vigil Lances Radio, the people's
choice for quality interviews, art, music and heart subex hosted
by Demetrius Hanzini Black Reynolds. All episodes of this podcast
are available for free download at www. Dots only one
Media greet dot com
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