May 9, 2025 • 56 mins
Air Date - 08 May 2025
What would it be like if it were a commonly held tradition for the wise women in our Western culture to support women through the mothering process? What if children were raised by the community and not the isolated responsibility of one or two caregivers? What if all women were united as mothers and gave their full support to each other’s mothering choices? My guest this week on Vox Novus, Dr. Gertrude Lyons, not only envisions this world of conscious conception, pregnancy, and motherhood, but also a movement that fulfills the ideals of a matriarchal-led mothering experience. Dr. Lyons stands at the forefront of coaching and education in holistic women’s development, parenting, self-love, and relationship fulfillment. Her diverse certifications and training enable Dr. Gertrude to offer a tailored, integrative approach that caters to the specific needs of individuals, couples, or families. She holds a steadfast belief that we all embody the essence of mother.
Her website is http://drgertrudelyons.com, and she joins me this week to discuss her path and new book, Rewrite the Mother Code: From Sacrifice to Stardust – A Cosmic Approach to Motherhood.
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What would it be like if it were a commonly held tradition for the wise women in our Western culture to support women through the mothering process? What if children were raised by the community and not the isolated responsibility of one or two caregivers? What if all women were united as mothers and gave their full support to each other’s mothering choices? My guest this week on Vox Novus, Dr. Gertrude Lyons, not only envisions this world of conscious conception, pregnancy, and motherhood, but also a movement that fulfills the ideals of a matriarchal-led mothering experience. Dr. Lyons stands at the forefront of coaching and education in holistic women’s development, parenting, self-love, and relationship fulfillment. Her diverse certifications and training enable Dr. Gertrude to offer a tailored, integrative approach that caters to the specific needs of individuals, couples, or families. She holds a steadfast belief that we all embody the essence of mother.
Her website is http://drgertrudelyons.com, and she joins me this week to discuss her path and new book, Rewrite the Mother Code: From Sacrifice to Stardust – A Cosmic Approach to Motherhood.
#GertrudeLyons #VoxNovus #VictorFuhrman #Spirituality #Interviews
Visit the Vox Novus Show Page https://omtimes.com/iom/shows/vox-novus/
Connect with Victor Fuhrman at http://victorthevoice.com/
Subscribe to our Newsletter https://omtimes.com/subscribe-omtimes-magazine/
Connect with OMTimes on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Omtimes.Magazine/ and OMTimes Radio https://www.facebook.com/ConsciousRadiowebtv.OMTimes/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/OmTimes/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omtimes/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/2798417/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/omtimes/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Vox Novus, the New Voice, Vox Novus, the New Dimension,
Vox Novus thought and movement leaders who will share from
their experience and offer tools to help us navigate our
rapidly changing world. My name is Victor Furman. Welcome to
(00:28):
Vox Novus, the New Voice. What would it be like
if it was a commonly held tradition for the wise
women in our Western culture to support women through the
mothering process. What if children were raised by the community
(00:50):
and not the isolated responsibility of one or two caregivers.
What if all women were united as mothers and gave
their full support to each other's mothering choices. My guest
this week on Box Novus, Doctor Gertrude Lyons, not only
envisions this world of conscious conception, pregnancy, and motherhood, but
(01:12):
also a movement that fulfills the ideals of matriarchal led
mothering experience. Doctor Lyons stands at the forefront of coaching
and education in holistic women's development, parenting, self love, and
relationship fulfillment. Her diverse certifications and training enabled doctor Gertrude
(01:32):
to offer a tailored, integrative approach that caters to the
specific needs of individuals couples or families. She holds a
steadfast belief that we all embody the essence of Mother.
Her website is doctor Gertrude Lions dot com, and she
joins me this week to discuss her path and new book,
(01:53):
Rewrite the Mother Code from Sacrifice to Stardust, a cosmic
approach to Please join me and welcoming to Vox Novis,
doctor Gertrude Lions. Welcome Gertrude.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Oh, it's such a pleasure to be here, Victor. Thank
you for having me, and.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Thank you so much for joining us. So please share
with us your path before you were called to coaching.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Mmm.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Oh, well that's an interesting one because I was born
and raised in a small town in Michigan, Saint Clair, Michigan,
a place where people were perfectly content to stay in
Saint Clair, Michigan.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
But somehow I wasn't.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
So I did the audacious thing of going to college outside,
all the way to Indiana from Michigan.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
And in college, you know, I really wasn't giving a
whole lot of thought.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
The only thought I really had was, of course, I'm
going to get a degree, and how can I make money?
Speaker 4 (02:47):
Right?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
So I got a BBA in finance and accounting and
had this inkling toward the end like oh my gosh,
I'm really enjoying these English classes or these psychology classes.
But anyway, carried on and got a job out of
college in litigation consulting doing economic analysis. So that all
(03:08):
sounds very fancy, and I guess it is in some way.
But what I happened was I ended up leaving the
big consulting firm and working for an individual who was
doing some work in this arena of litigation consulting and
personal injury and wrongful death and valuing in litigation like
(03:28):
the loss of value of life.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
So it was a big deal. He became a big deal.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
But I got to work with people, and so I
had started my own on my own path of personal development,
which started with therapy and personal developments, and my husband
and I got engaged and then we did couples coaching.
This was very This was not it's more of a
norm to say those things now than it was in
(03:54):
nineteen eighty nine and ninety, so we were pretty out
there to do that. And I realized pretty soon into
that for a while that like, it's really this work
is having such an impact on me, and when I'm
talking to clients and they're dealing with personal injury, wrongful
death of someone in their family, and they had to
(04:16):
go through some psychology tests as part of us calculating damages.
That was the part that was making my heart saying
I was talking to them, getting into it with them,
sharing what I'm learning about dealing with loss and dealing
with big challenges in our life. And so when I
had my second daughter, I decided, I'm going to leave
(04:37):
this organization. And I don't know for sure what I'm doing,
but it's not going to be sitting at a computer
doing economic calculations. So I decided to go back to
school and get a master's degree in psychology. And then
I started working for an organization part time coaching, and
you know, I don't know how much you want me
(04:57):
to go from there, but in that coach I had
a young family, and in that first master's degree, I
studied how to maximize the potential in family and the
potential in couples.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
And that was really starting to become.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
My focus because I said, well, if I'm going to
be going to school and working while raising a family,
let's have them work together. Let's have one support the other. Right,
I'm living it and then I'm studying it, and how
how can I do the best job I can? And
I also really enjoyed supporting adults as well, so that
(05:34):
really that took me into a number of years. So
I think your original question was what got you into coaching?
So that takes me there, so I'll stop there.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
It's interesting that you had mentioned the joy that you
were experiencing while working with those clients. In essence, you
were mothering them, weren't you.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yes, yeah, I would look at it like you caught
on Victor, you know, the whole game here.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yeah, yes, I was right.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
So and I got a lot of joy and fulfillment
and meaning from that. And what I wasn't aware of,
I wouldn't have named it this either at the time.
Now that you're you know, naming what I was doing
for them, I think I don't know if I would
have been able to recognize that or do that if
I hadn't started mothering myself in my own therapy growth
(06:26):
coaching that I was embarking on, because those things, you know,
were pretty shut down for me.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
I was pretty shut down.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I was shut down emotionally, was living a pretty superficial
life before I started doing some of that work, so
to then extend that mothering to others because I wanted
them to have it, because it was such a big
new awakening for me.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Absolutely, What were the seeds that were planted in your
life that led to examining the mother code?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
That is such a great question.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
So I think what I would say first off was
in those early years of you know, growth and development,
I realized and I realized this when in some of
the very early on sessions with our therapist and couple's coach, was, oh,
there are some things to look at in the relationship
(07:19):
with my own mother, right. So I think the seeds
really got planted when I started on an exploration really
looking at Wow, there's there's some things here that I
knew were off, not okay, needed, And I'll just name
a couple of them. I was, you know that they
(07:39):
got labels once, you know, once you go on that path.
I was enmeshed with my mother. My mother was domineering
and overly critical, and so this this first act of
separating from her something that in the normal course of mothering,
if we have our head on straight and and you know,
(08:00):
we can at least know that some of that job
when we're raising children is a constant letting go. They're
not there for my benefit. I'm there because I decided,
and I chose to bring children into the world and
make them independent human beings. And I didn't even realize
that was how it was supposed to go.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I just thought I was so.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Embroiled in my mother's life and her and mine that
you don't know until you hear other things like, oh,
gosh it, it feels a lot better to separate and
start claiming my own life and my own So I
would say the seeds really got planted when I saw that,
you know, name the dysfunction in our family.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I believe me.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I believe all families have some level of no and
even in my own with all the wisdom and knowledge
I gained over the years, you know, we certainly had
our share of dysfunction. And nobody does this job perfectly.
But I realized, oh, this is There.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Are wounds from that, and the healing of them is
so freeing.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
It's painful, and it's all the things, and it's a
courageous journey, I think, to explore. But then there's so
much freedom, and then wow, I get to start like
claiming my own life. And then you realize like, oh,
when you go to start to have your own family,
there's even more of this unfinished business. There's even more
potential for things to get stirred up and triggered. And
(09:26):
that's okay. And that was the big news, right it's
it's okay, like that can be. And some of what
I propose in my books, it's some of the treasure
that we can find in if we decide to raise
children and mother children is you're gonna have You're gonna
have old wounds, you're gonna have things pricked all over
the place, and not to think anything's wrong with that,
(09:48):
but that you can then mother yourself around what those
are so that you can then be fully present, fully
there with your children, because they're not the ca they're
just doing their thing. It just happens to, you know,
be hitting you in a certain place. So I think
the seeds got planted there. Then as I was, as
(10:10):
we were navigating starting our own family and then having
a young family, I realized, wow, these really this would
be such a different experience if I hadn't done some
of that early work and it's still challenging, you know,
even knowing some of that, it's still part of the deal.
So I think that's a big part of where the
(10:32):
seeds were planted.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
And to that end, what are some of the top
myths surrounding motherhood that you dispelled in your book?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
They're myriad of them, but ones I really wanted to
make sure and make prominent. The first one that I
think comes to mind, and I know a lot of
women struggle with, is that to be a good mother
you put the needs of your children and then after
that a partner or spouse, and then if you have
(11:01):
a career, if you're working outside the home, then that
but you're either never on the list or your way
at the bottom of the list. So and that's how
it's supposed to go, and you shouldn't expect it any different,
and if that's what makes you a good mother. So
I really wanted to dispel that myth and have women
(11:22):
understand that you taking care of yourself, you mothering yourself
is the best thing that can happen to your family.
Even what I said before, It allows you to be
more there, more present, but also provides opportunities like growing
up with your family. I think sometimes as parents, we
(11:45):
think we're expected. And this is another one of the
codes that I want to dispel, is that you decide
to have a child, you have this child, and you're
just immediately supposed to know exactly what to do and
how to do it and how.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
To do it right. Our culture feeds that.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Unfortunately, you know, social media and other ways that that
is inundated in us, Like it.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Looks like everybody knows what they're supposed to do.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
But we've started living in such a more isolated and
we don't really have the community that we that we
had for so long, forever until the industrial age, really
where you had people around you, and you had a
community and you had a tribe, you know, if we
go back wayfar. So there's that one. There's that it's
(12:32):
you should never show your emotions around your children. And
that's not one I think a lot of people think
about so much. So I wanted to name it, and
especially what we would label negative emotions like fear or
sadness and maybe even anger. And I want to dispel
that myth because them seeing healthy emotions displayed and responsible
(12:55):
emotions as opposed to I'm not talking anything remotely, like
or towards your child, or raging at your child. This
is like you might be angry about something and it's
okay to show that and have them see you work
through emotions. It gives them them permission like their emotions
are okay. They're not something that you can hide. And
(13:17):
that does take some work to learn how to have
them responsibly, but that's very, very worthwhile work. So that's
a few of them. I could go on if you'd
like me to, Victor.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Actually, this leads to another question. I was born in
the boomer generation. I was born in nineteen fifty three,
and a lot of what the image of the mother
was back then was shaped by television shows like Father
Knows Best or Leave It to Beaver or things of
that nature. How has the definition been shaped of motherhood
by popular media and what are some of the erarors
(13:46):
that popular media has done.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, well, I'm so glad you brought it back to that,
to that time and that generation, Victor, because it was
really in the nineteen fifties that there was a big
shift and the term parenting actually didn't exist before then.
(14:09):
Parenting took a big turn where it became you know
of course solely the woman's job. And there was something
that a woman named as she kind of look back
and study it called intensive mothering. And intensive mothering entailed
that everything nothing mattered more than you raising your child.
(14:30):
And media would only show women cooking and cleaning and
being so excited to get the latest new appliance that
was supposed to make her.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Her life easier, and the leave it to Beaver.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Where everything everyone's always happy, so to speak, and there
was nothing being shown for quite some time where a
woman might work outside the home.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Or higher help or because she was supposed to do
it all. She was supposed to do it all.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
She was supposed to get all of her joy and
satisfaction from it, and that's what was reflected on media
in those shows and the commercials. Gosh, I just watched
The Marvelous Missus Maisel, and that had some of in it,
like what do you mean you want to do anything
outside of be a mother? Even women who went to college, like, well,
(15:20):
you went to college, that's was nice, but don't expect
to do as soon as you graduate, like get married
and have kids, and that was there was something wrong
with you. If you didn't do that, then we it
morphed a little bit, like then things started happening, you
know in cultures where oh, now women have more choice,
they have choice to have children or not with birth
(15:41):
control and things that came you know, into being in
the seventies. But it was an interesting thing in the
seventies because it both like opened the doors for more
possibilities and choices for women. But at the same time
this dictate that this is a Now what started happening
in that generation and beyond is your job now is
(16:02):
to make the best children you can and form them
and get them. It's similar to the fifties but a
little different now where now we want to get them
kind of mold them like a carpenter. There's an author, researcher,
Alison doctor, Alison Gopnik. She wrote a book called The
Carpenter and the Gardener, and she talks about some of
(16:23):
these phases and how in that phase, you know, we
really started the parenting model of the carpenter came into being,
where it's like you mold that child, you chisel them
into the image that you think they're supposed to be.
And what then is also reflective reflected positively in the
world kind of under the guise of oh, we're doing
(16:45):
we're giving our children the best, so you're making them
into getting into the best schools, having a career where
you're going to make a lot of money. You know,
this was what was getting wired into me, like those
were the most important things and that's what your job
was to do that, but it was leaving you and
the relationship.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Out of the picture.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
She proposed a gardener concept, And this is what I
think we're wrestling with right now if I skip ahead
to now, is there's still a lot of that where
women are making more choices to have children, to not
have children, to work outside the home, be a stay
at home mom, but there's still a lot of judgment
(17:25):
around them. But women are more and more and it's
what I hope I'm hoping my book helps support, is
that if that's the choice that gives you the most
pleasure and satisfaction, that's going to be the best thing
for your family. The sacrifice and making sacrifices and sacrificing
the things that you used to have meaning for until
(17:47):
you had kids. But you can do that while you're
raising them. And I think the hardest part of the
current culture is there's still this air of like, but
it should be easy and gosh, you know, you look
on social media in it everybody's house is in good shape,
and how are they doing it all? I should be
able to do it all, so to speak, and you
know some of the super mom like running around doing everything,
(18:11):
like well, but do I want to do it all?
And are those things that I want to do? And
I'm hoping that women can really start asking those questions.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
And in rewrite the mother code. What are some of
the ways that mothering can be brought into the world
beyond raising children?
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Yeah? Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
When I set out to write this book, I kept
being torn. It's like, well, I really want this book
to because people are always asking you what market do
you want to reach? You know, who is your audience.
I'm like, well, it's all people, but it's all women
for sure, and they're like, noah, it's too broad. So
while I wrote a lot from my experience, and there
(18:51):
is a significant part that is about making choices around conception, birth, pregnancy,
and those specific I make bigger point and make it
at the beginning and I really work to carry it through,
which is the fact that all women mother, we all conceive, create,
and give birth to. Yes, children, but also ideas and
(19:14):
dreams and careers, relationships are pets. Anywhere we're putting our
mother energy. We're mothering, but that the most important person
we need to mother is ourselves. So I tile that
together because for a couple of reasons, Victor, if you
don't mind, I go on, is I want women to
(19:34):
understand because one of the codes is your purpose on
earth is to have children, and anything else you do
is it's okay, But you know, the only real meaning
is having a child. And I want, really, really want
to underline and have women take in the fact that
(19:55):
you're mothering all the time. You're already doing it, and
if you want to add the mothering the experience of
mothering children, after you've explored what that means to you
and kind of the why, the bigger why of that,
not just because well it's what.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I thought, I always want to do.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
That you're mothering all over the place. So I give
some specific examples in the book The Mothering Careers, for example,
that oh, I had women in some of my workshops
who had built beautiful businesses and or reached very high
up in corporate ladders and still felt like weah, well,
(20:32):
but none of that matters until I get.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Married and have a baby. It's still there.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
And I helped them explore, like, look what you've mothered.
You know, you've mothered a business into being you mother
people to their homes beautiful. As one of them was
an interior designer. You have a staff that you're mothering
in the corporate world like you're mothering the anybody that
(20:57):
is in your purview or that you or your client.
It's that way we mother are aging parents, my mom,
we were saying before we got on Victors ninety five,
and I've really started to see where and as we've
worked through our relationship. I know I talked at the beginning,
but we've pretty much have a one to eighty degree
(21:20):
relationship now where we really can be adult mother daughter
together and I get to see I get to mother her,
and I don't think I could have done that had
I not done some of that earlier work. In a
way that I'm really grateful. I get to care for her,
I get to give her love that I think she
(21:41):
needs and deserves. And so there's so many beautiful ways
I've just named a few.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
To that end. We had talked about the fact that
the last few years of my mother's life, I became mothering,
gave mothering to her, and a poem came through me
called when the child becomes the parent. Can I share
that with you?
Speaker 5 (21:59):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (21:59):
I would hear it, Victor.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
She gave me life and delivered me into this wondrous world.
She took my hand and guided me as the mysteries unfurled.
She taught me to be loving and all the time
she smiled. Now the child becomes the parent, and the
parent the child. She encouraged me to study and learn
(22:21):
all that I could. She taught me to be confident
while doing what was good. She urged me to have
faith when life's challenges beguiled. Now the child becomes the parent,
and the parent the child. She taught me to be compassionate,
a most important teaching. She taught me loving kindness. Her
(22:42):
gift was future reaching, as now she needs these back
from me as lost memories are filed for the child
has become the parent, and the parent the child.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Victor. That is so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Thank you, Oh my gosh, thank you for sharing that.
And it does it really tells the story of what
the cycle right This cycle of our mother and giving receiving,
and it really is circular, not linear. And I didn't
mention that because, yeah, mothering is not gendered, you know
when we're talking about it in this way.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Thank you so much, it was really beautiful.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Thank you. My guest doctor Gertrude lyons her book Rewrite
the Mother Code From Sacrifice to Stardust, a cosmic approach
to motherhood. Gertrude, please share with our listeners where they
can get your book and find out more about you
and your work.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Absolutely, So you can find everything book related and everything
about me on my website which is www dot doctor
Gertrudelions dot com and that's d R and then my
first name.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Gertrude g. E. R.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
T r Ud Lions l yos dot com. So all
the info about the book and what I do is there.
But to say a couple of things. You can also
go straight to where you buy books, Amazon, Barnes and
Noble Bookshop, where you can, you know, pick amongst a
bunch of bookstores. It's it's out there and everywhere, which
is wonderful. And then you can work with me in coaching.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
I do.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
I lead retreats in Mexico and Ireland. I do a
lot of online I do speaking engagements, so I'm really
finding every which way I can is to support people.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
I also have a podcast, sorry.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Just remember two more ways you can you can see
me which is on Instagram at doctor gertrue Lyons. And
also I have a podcast called Rewrite the Mother Code.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Wonderful and We'll be back with more after these words
on the Own Times Radio network.
Speaker 6 (24:53):
The Cutting Edge of Conscious Radio ome Times Radio i
own FM. Ome Times Magazine is one one of the
leading online content providers of positivity, wellness and personal empowerment.
A philanthropic organization, their net proceeds are finaled to support
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(25:14):
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Speaker 4 (25:25):
Hello, I'm Sandy sedgeby a host of Home Times Magazine's
flagship radio show What is going On? My passion is
sifting through information, research and innovations from new thought teachers,
speakers and researchers, pushing back the boundaries of what we
know about life, energy, metaphysics and the universe. I love
shifting perceptions about who we are, why we're here, and
(25:48):
how quickly impossible becomes normal when we open our minds,
expand our awareness, and accept that the only limits that
exist are those we place upon ourselves. So if you're
the kind of forward thinking, eager investigator of what lies
beyond the current reality that most perceive, why not make
a date to come play with me in the field
of possibilities at four pm Pacific time seven pm Eastern
(26:12):
Time every Thursday, and together we can discover what's very
going on.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Back on Vox Novus, my guest this week, doctor Gertrude
lyons her brand new book Rewrite the Mother Code From
Sacrifice to Stardust, a cosmic approach to motherhood. Gertrude, there's
an ancient word in parts of Africa, Ubuntu, which is
defined as I am what I am because of who
(26:42):
we all are. When a child is born and presented
to the village, the question is raised, whose child is this,
and the entire village responds, my child. As a part
of your doctoral research, you explored mother and traditions and
rituals around the world. What are some of your favorites.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Yeah, well that's a new favorite Victor. A lot of
what I like that is so beautiful, and it just
it also made me sad because that's so much of
what we don't have in our culture now, is that
that weakness aspect. But I was also looking a lot
at you know, because I feel like in our current
(27:24):
in our US culture specifically, mothers aren't supported and there's
a belief in our in our culture, you know, kind
of in our zeitgeist to bounce right back, get back
to work right away. There's things that women will hear
all the time, like get your body back, and you
(27:45):
know how these short little windows that you have for
maternity leave. And so I was looking at cultures that
that don't do it that way, and we looked at
and saw how this isn't working our culture, this is
not working well.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
And in so many of them.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I saw it in Japan, I saw it in Mexico
and South American cultures where it was pretty consistent in
places where it was anywhere from thirty to forty was
often the number. And I think there's a reason for
that that it's forty days where the mother is just
(28:27):
completely tended to, she's given the space to and the
support from the community to have that time with her baby. Right,
She's not expected to do anything. It's the focus is
on being. I mean some will go so far as
like and I didn't really discover if this was metaphoric
(28:51):
or literal, like her feet doesn't don't touch the ground
for forty days.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
And it's such an honoring of that time.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
And I think for a number of reasons, one just
physically and everything that a woman and the baby have
just went through physically to have that space and time
where you can really just tune in, heal and focus.
But I also this is in my experience personally victor
(29:24):
and belief, and I've seen it a little bit in
some of the cultures where the veil is very thin,
so to speak. At that time, you've just this baby
has come from the everywhere into the now. I'm quoting
George MacDonald, And I think when we rush out of
that space and think we're just supposed to get back
(29:45):
to how it was or pull ourselves back together, we're
missing an opportunity to be in you know, in whatever
this means to a specific person, whether it's spiritual, universal,
the cosmos, there's an opening rawness even if we take
(30:06):
it then to just the vulnerability of that time that
we're too quick to get away from. And I think
there's an experience to be had there and a messages
like you were saying that happen at death, like you
were sharing with me, you know, when your mom passed,
and some things that seem to come to you at
(30:29):
that time, like, I think those are there and available,
and other cultures were aware of that, so they gave
women time and space for that.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
And then some of them are very practical, like in
the Netherlands.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
In some of those countries, they it's mandated, you know,
by the government that you get anywhere from six months
to a year off from work.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
They're given welcome boxes that have all the essentials that's
provided by the government.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
To me, it goes back to the quote you just said, this,
this baby that was just born is our responsibility, not
just yours. So that gives an example of a few
of them.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
And what about the role of the midwife for the duel?
Is that coming back?
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I sure hope so, Victor, Yes, and no, it's a
it's a it continues to be a fight and a struggle.
But this is where I like social media and where
it's positive, is it because of that young women are
seeing other possibilities. They're seeing that, oh, you can you
(31:36):
have choice in the kind of birth that you want. Yes,
there's some wonderful and good things about a hospital birth,
but to know and to discover what suits you maybe more.
And you know, I discovered in writing in somewhat in
my dissertation, but this came out more like writing the
(31:59):
book and kind of living with this material is I
didn't realize. I knew midwives started becoming less and less
and it was the government was making it kind of
more and more difficult for them to operate, But I
didn't realize how active of a campaign it was at
one point. It started in the eighteen hundreds and carried
(32:22):
into the nineteen hundreds. Where literal active can see the evidence,
you can see it all marketing campaigns to dispel the midwives,
to push them out. They It was a pr campaign
identifying them as dirty foreign witches. Literally like these These
were in publication campaigns for marketing like don't have your
(32:47):
baby with these dirty foreign witches and cast them in
the not that this is new to women in cultures
and arenas this has been going on for a while,
but I didn't realize how that this was happening at
that level so recently, you know, because a lot of
the baby birthings were happening from immigrants, well even before that,
(33:10):
from slaves doing the birthing, and actually quite beautifully. They
would send you know, everybody would send their birthing women
to these women because they did it so beautifully. But
once modern medicine kind of started getting a foothold, they
decided to take it over and everywhere from marketing to
(33:33):
saying that safer, you're better, it's it was more upscale
to go to a hospital, so they they tried to
the midwives tried to get themselves like licensed, get ways
that they could be accredited, and that was a huge fight. So,
just to be perfectly honest, Victor, the medical paradigm kind
(33:55):
of has squashed it, and it has still it has
a voice, but it's still a pretty quiet voice. But
I do feel like it's starting to get heard more
and more. I do think it's starting to shift.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
One of my personal lessons born of health challenges in
my fifties was learning to afford myself the same care
that I would offer others. How do we learn self mothering?
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Oh? I love how you phraise that for yourself.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
That is that is so beautiful because it is It
is a and I'm going to call it a relearning, Victor,
kind of a reawakening, because I don't think it's always
been this way where it's so hard for a woman
to or people to give themselves permission to mother themselves.
And I haven't actually said this until I just now
(34:48):
thought of it mothering with a big M and a
little M, because the little M to me is it's
even hard for women to maintenance. You know, the maintenance
things are the little M like when they have newborns,
getting a shower, getting fed, getting just some of your
basic maintenance done to the big M of advocating yourself
in healthcare situations, using your voice and understanding that you
(35:15):
have a voice even though it might not seem like it.
Those all fall under the realm of self mothering. And
I don't know details about everything you went through, Victor
in your health challenge, but really big part of self
mothering is acclimating to first your inner voice. You know,
what is it, what feels right? Doesn't feel right? About
(35:39):
the care I'm or the advice I'm getting from the
outside right, learning to measure and discern and research for
yourself and not assume that just because I'll say this Promisela,
someone has dr next to their name. You know, a
doctor and this is their profession that they know everything.
I'm hoping I'm encouraging women to discern for themselves and
(36:04):
I want to open possibilities. But it's this discernment and
awareness that how you feel and what's going on inside you,
and that might be a skill you need to develop
and foster for yourself to really have access to it.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
In your book Rewrite the Mother Code, you share the
Voice Voice Framework as a pathway to rewriting our mother codes.
What does that acronym voice stand for?
Speaker 2 (36:32):
At some point, Victor, when we have time, I'll share
like the process of coming to that, because I knew
I wanted to say these things. There were certain things
that I wanted to make sure that we got a
hold of as we embark on rewriting the mother Code
and it kind of formed itself into voice and voice
because I loved it, because yes, we need a voice,
(36:54):
but what does that mean? And so in the book,
I ascribe the V to mean vision first and foremost,
like have a vision for yourself as a mother that
when we have a vision like that can become our
rudder when we're faced with a lot of decisions and choices.
So when I help women articulate what that is or
(37:15):
people to articulate a vision for themselves. And then the
I of the O is ownership, own your experience and
that it's take responsibility for your satisfaction, for your clarity,
for you know, the kind of experience that you want,
(37:36):
and that can be everything. From we're recording this and
Mother's Day is around the corner, I'm always encouraging women
own Mother's Day for yourself, like what do you how
do you want to be mothered on that day? And
if you want to be surprised and have them create
some for you, own that as your choice. Eyes for intuition, Really,
(37:56):
how do we, as we've been talking about earlier, tune
in and honor that we have an intuitive sense. Our
body is giving us messages and telling us, giving us
so much data that we've our culture has made it
very easy to tune out. So get back in touch
with this intuitive sense that you have. C is for culture.
(38:21):
What is the culture you have around you and that
you want to create. I kind of ascribe to that
a culture of community because right now motherhood and mothering
and our current culture is one of isolation. And how
can we expand that to bring in community? And then
E is engagement all of these things that I said
before this, it's we have to They can't just be
(38:44):
good ideas.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
We have to engage with them.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
We actually have to take steps toward making these things
real and possible in our lives.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
In your book, you offer a class it's called mother
Code one oh one. Four steps to Crafting the Mother Code.
Please share that with us.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Yeah, absolutely, So the steps go well, First, I ask
women to make an agreement and make agreements as you
embark on writing your own mother code, to be honest,
to be open, to be willing to explore the full
territory of your upbringing and sometimes there's a lot of
(39:25):
taboos around that to say things or to even start
thinking things that maybe you didn't like about it, and
to do that without blame and to take responsibility.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
So make that agreement and.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Then start exploring what you what you did and didn't
like about because we're wired the whole mother code too.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Is.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
You know, we're wired by our families, we're wired by
our cultures for our beliefs and how we operate. So
just as an initial step to start exploring what that
is is.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
To uncover what make two lists?
Speaker 2 (40:01):
You know, what did I like about how I was mothered,
the mothering I saw around me and in my culture?
What didn't I like? There may be ways I felt unseen.
There was some misalignments, some dysfunction, and just name what
some of those are. Emotions might come up. This might
stir things up, but you can also keep it very
cerebral if you like.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
So you have that list.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Now translate all those likes and dislikes into values, principles, desires. Right,
So I may not have liked I didn't like it
that my mom didn't take me to and from school
or to my activities. But the value in that, or
what I actually desired was connection. I wanted more connection
(40:45):
with her or to have so it wasn't so much
about the like. So when I have a kid, then
I'm going to make sure I take them to school
like that. It really because you may take them to
school and be on your phone the whole time, right,
it doesn't.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
But you're really on values. So you do that with
the list.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
You look at each one, assign values and as I said,
and then out of that you sort through them, pick
like three to six that most resonate with you, like, yes,
like those those are the things. Those are what I
want to put my stake in the ground about, and
what I want to be about and what I think.
(41:23):
Maybe I've been living these, maybe I'd like to more.
But I can then craft a statement that make sure
and include those values or principles or desires sample and
start it with I am a woman or I am
a person who and then dot dot dot, So it
could be I am a woman who values connection like
(41:47):
I just said in that example, that honors and fosters creativity,
that allows for and invites emotional expression, that learns and
grows and has a has a and lives to my potential.
So once when we have things like that, then you know,
(42:10):
weave those into a statement. It can be short, it
can be wordy, just so it has those values and
qualities in it. And now you have this, This is
what you can look to to see and I don't
even want to use the word necessarily measure, but you
have that there as a guiding light, a north star,
so to speak, a way to look at like, oh
(42:32):
how am I doing with those? And when I need
to make a decision, am I following my intuition? Because
that's in my Mother Code statement, right, I'm I'm continuing
to explore and learn and grow. So those those are
the four steps that then lead to you know, and
I have dos and don'ts in there too, like make
them positive, you don't we can't do don'ts.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
So I advise.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
People to not say I'm going to not be right, Well,
what am I going to be? I'm going to be
open minded. I'm going to be curious, all right, so
you know, being more positive and leaving words out of
a statement that say going to try. You want to
like really own it and have it be something that
(43:19):
isn't vague, It isn't well I might do this, or
I want to and leave out some of that language
to really have it feel solid positive affirmations.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
My guest doctor Gertrude lyons her new book, Rewrite the
Mother Code. We'll be back with more after these words
on the Old Times Radio Network.
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Speaker 1 (46:25):
Back on Box Novus, my guest this week, doctor Gertrude
lyons her book Rewrite the Mother Code from Sacrifice to Stardust,
a cosmic approach to motherhood. Gertrude, you share that motherhood
is a portal. Please explain.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
Yeah, so you know everything that we've been talking about
and leading up to. Once a woman has her mother
code statement, how do I live it?
Speaker 9 (46:55):
Right?
Speaker 2 (46:55):
How do I live into it? And I think if
we've been on the jarney this far, we can start
looking at things and exploring things like, ooh, motherhood is
a portal?
Speaker 3 (47:07):
What does that mean? Right?
Speaker 2 (47:09):
And this is where some of the cosmic motherhood that
I put right in the title comes because I think
there's things that we think about or we've been trained
to think about or hold in mothering, in motherhood as
things that maybe we want to avoid or we don't
we've gotten misaligned. So, for example, in motherhood, there's a
(47:31):
lot of pain, right there's birth is painful. Our body
goes through something that elicits physical pain, and we've been
trained and taught to believe that like, well, the best
thing to do with that pain is to shut it down.
And so it's something that ultimately then ends up disempowering us,
(47:52):
which so many of these codes and beliefs do. And
we've learned over time to feel like no matter what,
pain is bad, you know, just put it plain and simple,
like pain is bad. But if we're starting to look
at motherhood as a portal and mothering is a portal,
and this is something I name in the book as
a cosmic code, is that pain is a portal because
(48:16):
our pain when it's something that is in connected with creation.
And I'm going to make the distinction as opposed to
you know, an absessed tooth, there are different kinds of pain,
and I'm just going to name that and say that distinction.
We won't go you know into detail when something is
(48:36):
wrong with us, and pain is signaling us to take
care of it. The pregnancy, the birth, well even getting pregnant. Sex,
it's it's pleasure and pain coinciding.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
With each other. It's messy.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
It's the same with motherhood and then the same with
you know, pregnancy is uncomfortable. We're stretching, our organs are
moving to make room for this creation. And if we
can start shifting our thinking even just a little bit
toward that, we can then imagine and we don't even
(49:12):
have to imagine it because it's real, because plenty of
women have had this experience where once we let go
of some of those beliefs that you know, narrow our
experience when it comes to the birth, that that pain,
if we open ourselves up to it, it is giving
us all the data we need for the phases of
(49:35):
the delivery, of the labor, of the experience, because the pain,
we can tune into our body, and that pain gives
us information. That experience isn't just painful, it's pleasurable too.
It's pain and pleasure combined.
Speaker 9 (49:51):
You know.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
I've found lots of studies and experiences that women have
had that would say they were orgasmic that there was
as intense as the pain was, was as intense as
the pleasure was. But if we're shutting down the pain,
we're going to shut down that portal to potential pleasure.
(50:14):
But also then you know, a portal into divine transcended
spaces that can be possible. I know, for me, I
kind of wanted to keep having babies just to you know,
experience these different experiences, and I specifically chose a home birth.
(50:35):
I chose midwives because I wanted the full conscious experience
and that's what was right for me.
Speaker 3 (50:43):
And believe me, there were times I'm like, I understand why.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
You know, there's just times you don't feel like you
can do it. And I want women to understand that
we're way more powerful than we think. So it's you know,
this motherhood is a portal into seeing ourselves as these amazing,
powerful beings and that sometimes during there and I know
(51:08):
in my first birth of my daughter, I went through
a lot, right, and it was all the things, and
then when she was born, my first thought was I
am a goddess. And you know, it wasn't like, oh
my gosh, that was terrible or awful. It was that's
the first thing that came through, And I think that's
(51:30):
pretty significant. And I don't think if I hadn't been
open to knowing that pain was part of the experience,
but the experience was a portal to who knows, into
the unknown.
Speaker 3 (51:41):
But I was. I was open to.
Speaker 2 (51:43):
That experience and that ride, so I can play out
a lot of different ways through motherhood. It's I think
it's a portal into knowing ourselves more, into our own transformation,
into our own discovery, into a portal into awe and
awesome and being able to see that and then know
(52:04):
that we're that's the experience and that if I can
do that and get that kind of experience from the birth, oh,
it's maybe more likely than throughout my motherhood to know
that that's available and possible, instead of like, oh, I
can't do it, it's too hard, but that we can
do it.
Speaker 1 (52:23):
Each chapter of Rewrite the Mother Code offers thoroughly tailored reflections, meditations,
and rituals to help women get in touch with their
innate mother wisdom and strength. Is there one you can
share with us?
Speaker 3 (52:37):
Oh, well, thank you for that invitation.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
I would love to share one of them and there's one. Well,
I like them all. They're all you know, they're all
my children, and they're all favorites. But there's one called
star ritual.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
Is it okay? If I read that one?
Speaker 1 (52:51):
Please do okay?
Speaker 3 (52:53):
Great?
Speaker 4 (52:54):
Well?
Speaker 2 (52:54):
And as I read this, I mean if you're in
a place that you actually can kind of tune into
it and drop it everything and be with it.
Speaker 3 (53:01):
I invite you.
Speaker 2 (53:01):
Otherwise you just listen as you are so star ritual.
Just as there are an infinite number of stars in
the sky, every person's experience of mothering is unique and
perfect for them. Does one star look across the vastness
and seek to be like another? I cannot imagine this
(53:24):
to be true. Under the night sky or in your imagination,
seek a star that draws your attention. Marvel at its
distant light, imagining all the nights it has watched over.
Hold a wish or intention in your heart, something for yourself,
(53:50):
your child, or your future. With a gentle whisper, Send
your wish to that star, leaving it will carry your
hopes into the vastness of the universe. As you gaze
at the stars, feel a deep connection to the infinite,
(54:12):
knowing you are part of something greater. Conclude with a
quiet affirmation. As the stars shine brightly, so does my
love and hope for the future. And let this connection
bring you awe and comfort.
Speaker 1 (54:37):
Beautiful, thank you so much for sharing that.
Speaker 3 (54:40):
Oh, thank you for the invitation.
Speaker 1 (54:42):
My guest doctor Gertrude lyons her new book, Rewrite the
Mother Code from Sacrifice to Stardust, a cosmic approach to motherhood. Gertrude,
one more time, please share with our listeners where they
can get your book and find out more about you
and your amazing work.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
For sure, well, you can hop up on Amazon and
or your whoever your favorite bookseller is online and grab
it now. You can go to my website www dot
doctor Gertrude Lions dot com and the doctor is d
R Gertrude g E R t r U d E
(55:19):
Lions l y O n s dot com. And I
will say, if you pre order the book and you're
getting it before it comes out on the thirteenth, and
then I'm going to I'm you know, I'll be sharing
this as well if even after the book is out.
Speaker 3 (55:39):
But I did put up there as preorder bonuses the
reflection that I just shared I have some of them
up online and if you just share, there's a way
that you'll see in my website that if you share
you bought the book, we will send you those meditations
that have been beautifully put to music and some visuals.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
Wonderful RICTR, thank you so much for joining us and
sharing this a very very important message, especially in the
world as it is today.
Speaker 3 (56:08):
You're so welcome, Victor, and thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 1 (56:11):
On and thank you for joining us on Vox Novus.
I'm Victor the Voice Ferman. Have a wonderful week.
Vox Novus, the New Voice, Vox Novus, the New Dimension,
Vox Novus thought and movement leaders who will share from
their experience and offer tools to help us navigate our
rapidly changing world. My name is Victor Furman. Welcome to
(00:28):
Vox Novus, the New Voice. What would it be like
if it was a commonly held tradition for the wise
women in our Western culture to support women through the
mothering process. What if children were raised by the community
(00:50):
and not the isolated responsibility of one or two caregivers.
What if all women were united as mothers and gave
their full support to each other's mothering choices. My guest
this week on Box Novus, Doctor Gertrude Lyons, not only
envisions this world of conscious conception, pregnancy, and motherhood, but
(01:12):
also a movement that fulfills the ideals of matriarchal led
mothering experience. Doctor Lyons stands at the forefront of coaching
and education in holistic women's development, parenting, self love, and
relationship fulfillment. Her diverse certifications and training enabled doctor Gertrude
(01:32):
to offer a tailored, integrative approach that caters to the
specific needs of individuals couples or families. She holds a
steadfast belief that we all embody the essence of Mother.
Her website is doctor Gertrude Lions dot com, and she
joins me this week to discuss her path and new book,
(01:53):
Rewrite the Mother Code from Sacrifice to Stardust, a cosmic
approach to Please join me and welcoming to Vox Novis,
doctor Gertrude Lions. Welcome Gertrude.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Oh, it's such a pleasure to be here, Victor. Thank
you for having me, and.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Thank you so much for joining us. So please share
with us your path before you were called to coaching.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Mmm.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Oh, well that's an interesting one because I was born
and raised in a small town in Michigan, Saint Clair, Michigan,
a place where people were perfectly content to stay in
Saint Clair, Michigan.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
But somehow I wasn't.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
So I did the audacious thing of going to college outside,
all the way to Indiana from Michigan.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
And in college, you know, I really wasn't giving a
whole lot of thought.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
The only thought I really had was, of course, I'm
going to get a degree, and how can I make money?
Speaker 4 (02:47):
Right?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
So I got a BBA in finance and accounting and
had this inkling toward the end like oh my gosh,
I'm really enjoying these English classes or these psychology classes.
But anyway, carried on and got a job out of
college in litigation consulting doing economic analysis. So that all
(03:08):
sounds very fancy, and I guess it is in some way.
But what I happened was I ended up leaving the
big consulting firm and working for an individual who was
doing some work in this arena of litigation consulting and
personal injury and wrongful death and valuing in litigation like
(03:28):
the loss of value of life.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
So it was a big deal. He became a big deal.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
But I got to work with people, and so I
had started my own on my own path of personal development,
which started with therapy and personal developments, and my husband
and I got engaged and then we did couples coaching.
This was very This was not it's more of a
norm to say those things now than it was in
(03:54):
nineteen eighty nine and ninety, so we were pretty out
there to do that. And I realized pretty soon into
that for a while that like, it's really this work
is having such an impact on me, and when I'm
talking to clients and they're dealing with personal injury, wrongful
death of someone in their family, and they had to
(04:16):
go through some psychology tests as part of us calculating damages.
That was the part that was making my heart saying
I was talking to them, getting into it with them,
sharing what I'm learning about dealing with loss and dealing
with big challenges in our life. And so when I
had my second daughter, I decided, I'm going to leave
(04:37):
this organization. And I don't know for sure what I'm doing,
but it's not going to be sitting at a computer
doing economic calculations. So I decided to go back to
school and get a master's degree in psychology. And then
I started working for an organization part time coaching, and
you know, I don't know how much you want me
(04:57):
to go from there, but in that coach I had
a young family, and in that first master's degree, I
studied how to maximize the potential in family and the
potential in couples.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
And that was really starting to become.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
My focus because I said, well, if I'm going to
be going to school and working while raising a family,
let's have them work together. Let's have one support the other. Right,
I'm living it and then I'm studying it, and how
how can I do the best job I can? And
I also really enjoyed supporting adults as well, so that
(05:34):
really that took me into a number of years. So
I think your original question was what got you into coaching?
So that takes me there, so I'll stop there.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
It's interesting that you had mentioned the joy that you
were experiencing while working with those clients. In essence, you
were mothering them, weren't you.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yes, yeah, I would look at it like you caught
on Victor, you know, the whole game here.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yeah, yes, I was right.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
So and I got a lot of joy and fulfillment
and meaning from that. And what I wasn't aware of,
I wouldn't have named it this either at the time.
Now that you're you know, naming what I was doing
for them, I think I don't know if I would
have been able to recognize that or do that if
I hadn't started mothering myself in my own therapy growth
(06:26):
coaching that I was embarking on, because those things, you know,
were pretty shut down for me.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
I was pretty shut down.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I was shut down emotionally, was living a pretty superficial
life before I started doing some of that work, so
to then extend that mothering to others because I wanted
them to have it, because it was such a big
new awakening for me.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Absolutely, What were the seeds that were planted in your
life that led to examining the mother code?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
That is such a great question.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
So I think what I would say first off was
in those early years of you know, growth and development,
I realized and I realized this when in some of
the very early on sessions with our therapist and couple's coach, was, oh,
there are some things to look at in the relationship
(07:19):
with my own mother, right. So I think the seeds
really got planted when I started on an exploration really
looking at Wow, there's there's some things here that I
knew were off, not okay, needed, And I'll just name
a couple of them. I was, you know that they
(07:39):
got labels once, you know, once you go on that path.
I was enmeshed with my mother. My mother was domineering
and overly critical, and so this this first act of
separating from her something that in the normal course of mothering,
if we have our head on straight and and you know,
(08:00):
we can at least know that some of that job
when we're raising children is a constant letting go. They're
not there for my benefit. I'm there because I decided,
and I chose to bring children into the world and
make them independent human beings. And I didn't even realize
that was how it was supposed to go.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I just thought I was so.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Embroiled in my mother's life and her and mine that
you don't know until you hear other things like, oh,
gosh it, it feels a lot better to separate and
start claiming my own life and my own So I
would say the seeds really got planted when I saw that,
you know, name the dysfunction in our family.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I believe me.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I believe all families have some level of no and
even in my own with all the wisdom and knowledge
I gained over the years, you know, we certainly had
our share of dysfunction. And nobody does this job perfectly.
But I realized, oh, this is There.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Are wounds from that, and the healing of them is
so freeing.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
It's painful, and it's all the things, and it's a
courageous journey, I think, to explore. But then there's so
much freedom, and then wow, I get to start like
claiming my own life. And then you realize like, oh,
when you go to start to have your own family,
there's even more of this unfinished business. There's even more
potential for things to get stirred up and triggered. And
(09:26):
that's okay. And that was the big news, right it's
it's okay, like that can be. And some of what
I propose in my books, it's some of the treasure
that we can find in if we decide to raise
children and mother children is you're gonna have You're gonna
have old wounds, you're gonna have things pricked all over
the place, and not to think anything's wrong with that,
(09:48):
but that you can then mother yourself around what those
are so that you can then be fully present, fully
there with your children, because they're not the ca they're
just doing their thing. It just happens to, you know,
be hitting you in a certain place. So I think
the seeds got planted there. Then as I was, as
(10:10):
we were navigating starting our own family and then having
a young family, I realized, wow, these really this would
be such a different experience if I hadn't done some
of that early work and it's still challenging, you know,
even knowing some of that, it's still part of the deal.
So I think that's a big part of where the
(10:32):
seeds were planted.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
And to that end, what are some of the top
myths surrounding motherhood that you dispelled in your book?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
They're myriad of them, but ones I really wanted to
make sure and make prominent. The first one that I
think comes to mind, and I know a lot of
women struggle with, is that to be a good mother
you put the needs of your children and then after
that a partner or spouse, and then if you have
(11:01):
a career, if you're working outside the home, then that
but you're either never on the list or your way
at the bottom of the list. So and that's how
it's supposed to go, and you shouldn't expect it any different,
and if that's what makes you a good mother. So
I really wanted to dispel that myth and have women
(11:22):
understand that you taking care of yourself, you mothering yourself
is the best thing that can happen to your family.
Even what I said before, It allows you to be
more there, more present, but also provides opportunities like growing
up with your family. I think sometimes as parents, we
(11:45):
think we're expected. And this is another one of the
codes that I want to dispel, is that you decide
to have a child, you have this child, and you're
just immediately supposed to know exactly what to do and
how to do it and how.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
To do it right. Our culture feeds that.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Unfortunately, you know, social media and other ways that that
is inundated in us, Like it.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Looks like everybody knows what they're supposed to do.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
But we've started living in such a more isolated and
we don't really have the community that we that we
had for so long, forever until the industrial age, really
where you had people around you, and you had a
community and you had a tribe, you know, if we
go back wayfar. So there's that one. There's that it's
(12:32):
you should never show your emotions around your children. And
that's not one I think a lot of people think
about so much. So I wanted to name it, and
especially what we would label negative emotions like fear or
sadness and maybe even anger. And I want to dispel
that myth because them seeing healthy emotions displayed and responsible
(12:55):
emotions as opposed to I'm not talking anything remotely, like
or towards your child, or raging at your child. This
is like you might be angry about something and it's
okay to show that and have them see you work
through emotions. It gives them them permission like their emotions
are okay. They're not something that you can hide. And
(13:17):
that does take some work to learn how to have
them responsibly, but that's very, very worthwhile work. So that's
a few of them. I could go on if you'd
like me to, Victor.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Actually, this leads to another question. I was born in
the boomer generation. I was born in nineteen fifty three,
and a lot of what the image of the mother
was back then was shaped by television shows like Father
Knows Best or Leave It to Beaver or things of
that nature. How has the definition been shaped of motherhood
by popular media and what are some of the erarors
(13:46):
that popular media has done.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, well, I'm so glad you brought it back to that,
to that time and that generation, Victor, because it was
really in the nineteen fifties that there was a big
shift and the term parenting actually didn't exist before then.
(14:09):
Parenting took a big turn where it became you know
of course solely the woman's job. And there was something
that a woman named as she kind of look back
and study it called intensive mothering. And intensive mothering entailed
that everything nothing mattered more than you raising your child.
(14:30):
And media would only show women cooking and cleaning and
being so excited to get the latest new appliance that
was supposed to make her.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Her life easier, and the leave it to Beaver.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Where everything everyone's always happy, so to speak, and there
was nothing being shown for quite some time where a
woman might work outside the home.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Or higher help or because she was supposed to do
it all. She was supposed to do it all.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
She was supposed to get all of her joy and
satisfaction from it, and that's what was reflected on media
in those shows and the commercials. Gosh, I just watched
The Marvelous Missus Maisel, and that had some of in it,
like what do you mean you want to do anything
outside of be a mother? Even women who went to college, like, well,
(15:20):
you went to college, that's was nice, but don't expect
to do as soon as you graduate, like get married
and have kids, and that was there was something wrong
with you. If you didn't do that, then we it
morphed a little bit, like then things started happening, you
know in cultures where oh, now women have more choice,
they have choice to have children or not with birth
(15:41):
control and things that came you know, into being in
the seventies. But it was an interesting thing in the
seventies because it both like opened the doors for more
possibilities and choices for women. But at the same time
this dictate that this is a Now what started happening
in that generation and beyond is your job now is
(16:02):
to make the best children you can and form them
and get them. It's similar to the fifties but a
little different now where now we want to get them
kind of mold them like a carpenter. There's an author, researcher,
Alison doctor, Alison Gopnik. She wrote a book called The
Carpenter and the Gardener, and she talks about some of
(16:23):
these phases and how in that phase, you know, we
really started the parenting model of the carpenter came into being,
where it's like you mold that child, you chisel them
into the image that you think they're supposed to be.
And what then is also reflective reflected positively in the
world kind of under the guise of oh, we're doing
(16:45):
we're giving our children the best, so you're making them
into getting into the best schools, having a career where
you're going to make a lot of money. You know,
this was what was getting wired into me, like those
were the most important things and that's what your job
was to do that, but it was leaving you and
the relationship.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Out of the picture.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
She proposed a gardener concept, And this is what I
think we're wrestling with right now if I skip ahead
to now, is there's still a lot of that where
women are making more choices to have children, to not
have children, to work outside the home, be a stay
at home mom, but there's still a lot of judgment
(17:25):
around them. But women are more and more and it's
what I hope I'm hoping my book helps support, is
that if that's the choice that gives you the most
pleasure and satisfaction, that's going to be the best thing
for your family. The sacrifice and making sacrifices and sacrificing
the things that you used to have meaning for until
(17:47):
you had kids. But you can do that while you're
raising them. And I think the hardest part of the
current culture is there's still this air of like, but
it should be easy and gosh, you know, you look
on social media in it everybody's house is in good shape,
and how are they doing it all? I should be
able to do it all, so to speak, and you
know some of the super mom like running around doing everything,
(18:11):
like well, but do I want to do it all?
And are those things that I want to do? And
I'm hoping that women can really start asking those questions.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
And in rewrite the mother code. What are some of
the ways that mothering can be brought into the world
beyond raising children?
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Yeah? Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
When I set out to write this book, I kept
being torn. It's like, well, I really want this book
to because people are always asking you what market do
you want to reach? You know, who is your audience.
I'm like, well, it's all people, but it's all women
for sure, and they're like, noah, it's too broad. So
while I wrote a lot from my experience, and there
(18:51):
is a significant part that is about making choices around conception, birth, pregnancy,
and those specific I make bigger point and make it
at the beginning and I really work to carry it through,
which is the fact that all women mother, we all conceive, create,
and give birth to. Yes, children, but also ideas and
(19:14):
dreams and careers, relationships are pets. Anywhere we're putting our
mother energy. We're mothering, but that the most important person
we need to mother is ourselves. So I tile that
together because for a couple of reasons, Victor, if you
don't mind, I go on, is I want women to
(19:34):
understand because one of the codes is your purpose on
earth is to have children, and anything else you do
is it's okay, But you know, the only real meaning
is having a child. And I want, really, really want
to underline and have women take in the fact that
(19:55):
you're mothering all the time. You're already doing it, and
if you want to add the mothering the experience of
mothering children, after you've explored what that means to you
and kind of the why, the bigger why of that,
not just because well it's what.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I thought, I always want to do.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
That you're mothering all over the place. So I give
some specific examples in the book The Mothering Careers, for example,
that oh, I had women in some of my workshops
who had built beautiful businesses and or reached very high
up in corporate ladders and still felt like weah, well,
(20:32):
but none of that matters until I get.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Married and have a baby. It's still there.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
And I helped them explore, like, look what you've mothered.
You know, you've mothered a business into being you mother
people to their homes beautiful. As one of them was
an interior designer. You have a staff that you're mothering
in the corporate world like you're mothering the anybody that
(20:57):
is in your purview or that you or your client.
It's that way we mother are aging parents, my mom,
we were saying before we got on Victors ninety five,
and I've really started to see where and as we've
worked through our relationship. I know I talked at the beginning,
but we've pretty much have a one to eighty degree
(21:20):
relationship now where we really can be adult mother daughter
together and I get to see I get to mother her,
and I don't think I could have done that had
I not done some of that earlier work. In a
way that I'm really grateful. I get to care for her,
I get to give her love that I think she
(21:41):
needs and deserves. And so there's so many beautiful ways
I've just named a few.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
To that end. We had talked about the fact that
the last few years of my mother's life, I became mothering,
gave mothering to her, and a poem came through me
called when the child becomes the parent. Can I share
that with you?
Speaker 5 (21:59):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (21:59):
I would hear it, Victor.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
She gave me life and delivered me into this wondrous world.
She took my hand and guided me as the mysteries unfurled.
She taught me to be loving and all the time
she smiled. Now the child becomes the parent, and the
parent the child. She encouraged me to study and learn
(22:21):
all that I could. She taught me to be confident
while doing what was good. She urged me to have
faith when life's challenges beguiled. Now the child becomes the parent,
and the parent the child. She taught me to be compassionate,
a most important teaching. She taught me loving kindness. Her
(22:42):
gift was future reaching, as now she needs these back
from me as lost memories are filed for the child
has become the parent, and the parent the child.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Victor. That is so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Thank you, Oh my gosh, thank you for sharing that.
And it does it really tells the story of what
the cycle right This cycle of our mother and giving receiving,
and it really is circular, not linear. And I didn't
mention that because, yeah, mothering is not gendered, you know
when we're talking about it in this way.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Thank you so much, it was really beautiful.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Thank you. My guest doctor Gertrude lyons her book Rewrite
the Mother Code From Sacrifice to Stardust, a cosmic approach
to motherhood. Gertrude, please share with our listeners where they
can get your book and find out more about you
and your work.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Absolutely, So you can find everything book related and everything
about me on my website which is www dot doctor
Gertrudelions dot com and that's d R and then my
first name.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Gertrude g. E. R.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
T r Ud Lions l yos dot com. So all
the info about the book and what I do is there.
But to say a couple of things. You can also
go straight to where you buy books, Amazon, Barnes and
Noble Bookshop, where you can, you know, pick amongst a
bunch of bookstores. It's it's out there and everywhere, which
is wonderful. And then you can work with me in coaching.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
I do.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
I lead retreats in Mexico and Ireland. I do a
lot of online I do speaking engagements, so I'm really
finding every which way I can is to support people.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
I also have a podcast, sorry.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Just remember two more ways you can you can see
me which is on Instagram at doctor gertrue Lyons. And
also I have a podcast called Rewrite the Mother Code.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Wonderful and We'll be back with more after these words
on the Own Times Radio network.
Speaker 6 (24:53):
The Cutting Edge of Conscious Radio ome Times Radio i
own FM. Ome Times Magazine is one one of the
leading online content providers of positivity, wellness and personal empowerment.
A philanthropic organization, their net proceeds are finaled to support
worldwide charity initiatives via Humanity Healing International. Through their commitment
(25:14):
to creating community and providing conscious content, they aspire to
uplift humanity on a global scale. Home Times co creating
a more conscious lifestyle.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
Hello, I'm Sandy sedgeby a host of Home Times Magazine's
flagship radio show What is going On? My passion is
sifting through information, research and innovations from new thought teachers,
speakers and researchers, pushing back the boundaries of what we
know about life, energy, metaphysics and the universe. I love
shifting perceptions about who we are, why we're here, and
(25:48):
how quickly impossible becomes normal when we open our minds,
expand our awareness, and accept that the only limits that
exist are those we place upon ourselves. So if you're
the kind of forward thinking, eager investigator of what lies
beyond the current reality that most perceive, why not make
a date to come play with me in the field
of possibilities at four pm Pacific time seven pm Eastern
(26:12):
Time every Thursday, and together we can discover what's very
going on.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Back on Vox Novus, my guest this week, doctor Gertrude
lyons her brand new book Rewrite the Mother Code From
Sacrifice to Stardust, a cosmic approach to motherhood. Gertrude, there's
an ancient word in parts of Africa, Ubuntu, which is
defined as I am what I am because of who
(26:42):
we all are. When a child is born and presented
to the village, the question is raised, whose child is this,
and the entire village responds, my child. As a part
of your doctoral research, you explored mother and traditions and
rituals around the world. What are some of your favorites.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Yeah, well that's a new favorite Victor. A lot of
what I like that is so beautiful, and it just
it also made me sad because that's so much of
what we don't have in our culture now, is that
that weakness aspect. But I was also looking a lot
at you know, because I feel like in our current
(27:24):
in our US culture specifically, mothers aren't supported and there's
a belief in our in our culture, you know, kind
of in our zeitgeist to bounce right back, get back
to work right away. There's things that women will hear
all the time, like get your body back, and you
(27:45):
know how these short little windows that you have for
maternity leave. And so I was looking at cultures that
that don't do it that way, and we looked at
and saw how this isn't working our culture, this is
not working well.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
And in so many of them.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I saw it in Japan, I saw it in Mexico
and South American cultures where it was pretty consistent in
places where it was anywhere from thirty to forty was
often the number. And I think there's a reason for
that that it's forty days where the mother is just
(28:27):
completely tended to, she's given the space to and the
support from the community to have that time with her baby. Right,
She's not expected to do anything. It's the focus is
on being. I mean some will go so far as
like and I didn't really discover if this was metaphoric
(28:51):
or literal, like her feet doesn't don't touch the ground
for forty days.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
And it's such an honoring of that time.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
And I think for a number of reasons, one just
physically and everything that a woman and the baby have
just went through physically to have that space and time
where you can really just tune in, heal and focus.
But I also this is in my experience personally victor
(29:24):
and belief, and I've seen it a little bit in
some of the cultures where the veil is very thin,
so to speak. At that time, you've just this baby
has come from the everywhere into the now. I'm quoting
George MacDonald, And I think when we rush out of
that space and think we're just supposed to get back
(29:45):
to how it was or pull ourselves back together, we're
missing an opportunity to be in you know, in whatever
this means to a specific person, whether it's spiritual, universal,
the cosmos, there's an opening rawness even if we take
(30:06):
it then to just the vulnerability of that time that
we're too quick to get away from. And I think
there's an experience to be had there and a messages
like you were saying that happen at death, like you
were sharing with me, you know, when your mom passed,
and some things that seem to come to you at
(30:29):
that time, like, I think those are there and available,
and other cultures were aware of that, so they gave
women time and space for that.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
And then some of them are very practical, like in
the Netherlands.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
In some of those countries, they it's mandated, you know,
by the government that you get anywhere from six months
to a year off from work.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
They're given welcome boxes that have all the essentials that's
provided by the government.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
To me, it goes back to the quote you just said, this,
this baby that was just born is our responsibility, not
just yours. So that gives an example of a few
of them.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
And what about the role of the midwife for the duel?
Is that coming back?
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I sure hope so, Victor, Yes, and no, it's a
it's a it continues to be a fight and a struggle.
But this is where I like social media and where
it's positive, is it because of that young women are
seeing other possibilities. They're seeing that, oh, you can you
(31:36):
have choice in the kind of birth that you want. Yes,
there's some wonderful and good things about a hospital birth,
but to know and to discover what suits you maybe more.
And you know, I discovered in writing in somewhat in
my dissertation, but this came out more like writing the
(31:59):
book and kind of living with this material is I
didn't realize. I knew midwives started becoming less and less
and it was the government was making it kind of
more and more difficult for them to operate, But I
didn't realize how active of a campaign it was at
one point. It started in the eighteen hundreds and carried
(32:22):
into the nineteen hundreds. Where literal active can see the evidence,
you can see it all marketing campaigns to dispel the midwives,
to push them out. They It was a pr campaign
identifying them as dirty foreign witches. Literally like these These
were in publication campaigns for marketing like don't have your
(32:47):
baby with these dirty foreign witches and cast them in
the not that this is new to women in cultures
and arenas this has been going on for a while,
but I didn't realize how that this was happening at
that level so recently, you know, because a lot of
the baby birthings were happening from immigrants, well even before that,
(33:10):
from slaves doing the birthing, and actually quite beautifully. They
would send you know, everybody would send their birthing women
to these women because they did it so beautifully. But
once modern medicine kind of started getting a foothold, they
decided to take it over and everywhere from marketing to
(33:33):
saying that safer, you're better, it's it was more upscale
to go to a hospital, so they they tried to
the midwives tried to get themselves like licensed, get ways
that they could be accredited, and that was a huge fight. So,
just to be perfectly honest, Victor, the medical paradigm kind
(33:55):
of has squashed it, and it has still it has
a voice, but it's still a pretty quiet voice. But
I do feel like it's starting to get heard more
and more. I do think it's starting to shift.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
One of my personal lessons born of health challenges in
my fifties was learning to afford myself the same care
that I would offer others. How do we learn self mothering?
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Oh? I love how you phraise that for yourself.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
That is that is so beautiful because it is It
is a and I'm going to call it a relearning, Victor,
kind of a reawakening, because I don't think it's always
been this way where it's so hard for a woman
to or people to give themselves permission to mother themselves.
And I haven't actually said this until I just now
(34:48):
thought of it mothering with a big M and a
little M, because the little M to me is it's
even hard for women to maintenance. You know, the maintenance
things are the little M like when they have newborns,
getting a shower, getting fed, getting just some of your
basic maintenance done to the big M of advocating yourself
in healthcare situations, using your voice and understanding that you
(35:15):
have a voice even though it might not seem like it.
Those all fall under the realm of self mothering. And
I don't know details about everything you went through, Victor
in your health challenge, but really big part of self
mothering is acclimating to first your inner voice. You know,
what is it, what feels right? Doesn't feel right? About
(35:39):
the care I'm or the advice I'm getting from the
outside right, learning to measure and discern and research for
yourself and not assume that just because I'll say this Promisela,
someone has dr next to their name. You know, a
doctor and this is their profession that they know everything.
I'm hoping I'm encouraging women to discern for themselves and
(36:04):
I want to open possibilities. But it's this discernment and
awareness that how you feel and what's going on inside you,
and that might be a skill you need to develop
and foster for yourself to really have access to it.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
In your book Rewrite the Mother Code, you share the
Voice Voice Framework as a pathway to rewriting our mother codes.
What does that acronym voice stand for?
Speaker 2 (36:32):
At some point, Victor, when we have time, I'll share
like the process of coming to that, because I knew
I wanted to say these things. There were certain things
that I wanted to make sure that we got a
hold of as we embark on rewriting the mother Code
and it kind of formed itself into voice and voice
because I loved it, because yes, we need a voice,
(36:54):
but what does that mean? And so in the book,
I ascribe the V to mean vision first and foremost,
like have a vision for yourself as a mother that
when we have a vision like that can become our
rudder when we're faced with a lot of decisions and choices.
So when I help women articulate what that is or
(37:15):
people to articulate a vision for themselves. And then the
I of the O is ownership, own your experience and
that it's take responsibility for your satisfaction, for your clarity,
for you know, the kind of experience that you want,
(37:36):
and that can be everything. From we're recording this and
Mother's Day is around the corner, I'm always encouraging women
own Mother's Day for yourself, like what do you how
do you want to be mothered on that day? And
if you want to be surprised and have them create
some for you, own that as your choice. Eyes for intuition, Really,
(37:56):
how do we, as we've been talking about earlier, tune
in and honor that we have an intuitive sense. Our
body is giving us messages and telling us, giving us
so much data that we've our culture has made it
very easy to tune out. So get back in touch
with this intuitive sense that you have. C is for culture.
(38:21):
What is the culture you have around you and that
you want to create. I kind of ascribe to that
a culture of community because right now motherhood and mothering
and our current culture is one of isolation. And how
can we expand that to bring in community? And then
E is engagement all of these things that I said
before this, it's we have to They can't just be
(38:44):
good ideas.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
We have to engage with them.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
We actually have to take steps toward making these things
real and possible in our lives.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
In your book, you offer a class it's called mother
Code one oh one. Four steps to Crafting the Mother Code.
Please share that with us.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Yeah, absolutely, So the steps go well, First, I ask
women to make an agreement and make agreements as you
embark on writing your own mother code, to be honest,
to be open, to be willing to explore the full
territory of your upbringing and sometimes there's a lot of
(39:25):
taboos around that to say things or to even start
thinking things that maybe you didn't like about it, and
to do that without blame and to take responsibility.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
So make that agreement and.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Then start exploring what you what you did and didn't
like about because we're wired the whole mother code too.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Is.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
You know, we're wired by our families, we're wired by
our cultures for our beliefs and how we operate. So
just as an initial step to start exploring what that
is is.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
To uncover what make two lists?
Speaker 2 (40:01):
You know, what did I like about how I was mothered,
the mothering I saw around me and in my culture?
What didn't I like? There may be ways I felt unseen.
There was some misalignments, some dysfunction, and just name what
some of those are. Emotions might come up. This might
stir things up, but you can also keep it very
cerebral if you like.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
So you have that list.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Now translate all those likes and dislikes into values, principles, desires. Right,
So I may not have liked I didn't like it
that my mom didn't take me to and from school
or to my activities. But the value in that, or
what I actually desired was connection. I wanted more connection
(40:45):
with her or to have so it wasn't so much
about the like. So when I have a kid, then
I'm going to make sure I take them to school
like that. It really because you may take them to
school and be on your phone the whole time, right,
it doesn't.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
But you're really on values. So you do that with
the list.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
You look at each one, assign values and as I said,
and then out of that you sort through them, pick
like three to six that most resonate with you, like, yes,
like those those are the things. Those are what I
want to put my stake in the ground about, and
what I want to be about and what I think.
(41:23):
Maybe I've been living these, maybe I'd like to more.
But I can then craft a statement that make sure
and include those values or principles or desires sample and
start it with I am a woman or I am
a person who and then dot dot dot, So it
could be I am a woman who values connection like
(41:47):
I just said in that example, that honors and fosters creativity,
that allows for and invites emotional expression, that learns and
grows and has a has a and lives to my potential.
So once when we have things like that, then you know,
(42:10):
weave those into a statement. It can be short, it
can be wordy, just so it has those values and
qualities in it. And now you have this, This is
what you can look to to see and I don't
even want to use the word necessarily measure, but you
have that there as a guiding light, a north star,
so to speak, a way to look at like, oh
(42:32):
how am I doing with those? And when I need
to make a decision, am I following my intuition? Because
that's in my Mother Code statement, right, I'm I'm continuing
to explore and learn and grow. So those those are
the four steps that then lead to you know, and
I have dos and don'ts in there too, like make
them positive, you don't we can't do don'ts.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
So I advise.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
People to not say I'm going to not be right, Well,
what am I going to be? I'm going to be
open minded. I'm going to be curious, all right, so
you know, being more positive and leaving words out of
a statement that say going to try. You want to
like really own it and have it be something that
(43:19):
isn't vague, It isn't well I might do this, or
I want to and leave out some of that language
to really have it feel solid positive affirmations.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
My guest doctor Gertrude lyons her new book, Rewrite the
Mother Code. We'll be back with more after these words
on the Old Times Radio Network.
Speaker 7 (43:39):
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(44:00):
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Speaker 11 (45:27):
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Speaker 1 (46:25):
Back on Box Novus, my guest this week, doctor Gertrude
lyons her book Rewrite the Mother Code from Sacrifice to Stardust,
a cosmic approach to motherhood. Gertrude, you share that motherhood
is a portal. Please explain.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
Yeah, so you know everything that we've been talking about
and leading up to. Once a woman has her mother
code statement, how do I live it?
Speaker 9 (46:55):
Right?
Speaker 2 (46:55):
How do I live into it? And I think if
we've been on the jarney this far, we can start
looking at things and exploring things like, ooh, motherhood is
a portal?
Speaker 3 (47:07):
What does that mean? Right?
Speaker 2 (47:09):
And this is where some of the cosmic motherhood that
I put right in the title comes because I think
there's things that we think about or we've been trained
to think about or hold in mothering, in motherhood as
things that maybe we want to avoid or we don't
we've gotten misaligned. So, for example, in motherhood, there's a
(47:31):
lot of pain, right there's birth is painful. Our body
goes through something that elicits physical pain, and we've been
trained and taught to believe that like, well, the best
thing to do with that pain is to shut it down.
And so it's something that ultimately then ends up disempowering us,
(47:52):
which so many of these codes and beliefs do. And
we've learned over time to feel like no matter what,
pain is bad, you know, just put it plain and simple,
like pain is bad. But if we're starting to look
at motherhood as a portal and mothering is a portal,
and this is something I name in the book as
a cosmic code, is that pain is a portal because
(48:16):
our pain when it's something that is in connected with creation.
And I'm going to make the distinction as opposed to
you know, an absessed tooth, there are different kinds of pain,
and I'm just going to name that and say that distinction.
We won't go you know into detail when something is
(48:36):
wrong with us, and pain is signaling us to take
care of it. The pregnancy, the birth, well even getting pregnant. Sex,
it's it's pleasure and pain coinciding.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
With each other. It's messy.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
It's the same with motherhood and then the same with
you know, pregnancy is uncomfortable. We're stretching, our organs are
moving to make room for this creation. And if we
can start shifting our thinking even just a little bit
toward that, we can then imagine and we don't even
(49:12):
have to imagine it because it's real, because plenty of
women have had this experience where once we let go
of some of those beliefs that you know, narrow our
experience when it comes to the birth, that that pain,
if we open ourselves up to it, it is giving
us all the data we need for the phases of
(49:35):
the delivery, of the labor, of the experience, because the pain,
we can tune into our body, and that pain gives
us information. That experience isn't just painful, it's pleasurable too.
It's pain and pleasure combined.
Speaker 9 (49:51):
You know.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
I've found lots of studies and experiences that women have
had that would say they were orgasmic that there was
as intense as the pain was, was as intense as
the pleasure was. But if we're shutting down the pain,
we're going to shut down that portal to potential pleasure.
(50:14):
But also then you know, a portal into divine transcended
spaces that can be possible. I know, for me, I
kind of wanted to keep having babies just to you know,
experience these different experiences, and I specifically chose a home birth.
(50:35):
I chose midwives because I wanted the full conscious experience
and that's what was right for me.
Speaker 3 (50:43):
And believe me, there were times I'm like, I understand why.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
You know, there's just times you don't feel like you
can do it. And I want women to understand that
we're way more powerful than we think. So it's you know,
this motherhood is a portal into seeing ourselves as these amazing,
powerful beings and that sometimes during there and I know
(51:08):
in my first birth of my daughter, I went through
a lot, right, and it was all the things, and
then when she was born, my first thought was I
am a goddess. And you know, it wasn't like, oh
my gosh, that was terrible or awful. It was that's
the first thing that came through, And I think that's
(51:30):
pretty significant. And I don't think if I hadn't been
open to knowing that pain was part of the experience,
but the experience was a portal to who knows, into
the unknown.
Speaker 3 (51:41):
But I was. I was open to.
Speaker 2 (51:43):
That experience and that ride, so I can play out
a lot of different ways through motherhood. It's I think
it's a portal into knowing ourselves more, into our own transformation,
into our own discovery, into a portal into awe and
awesome and being able to see that and then know
(52:04):
that we're that's the experience and that if I can
do that and get that kind of experience from the birth, oh,
it's maybe more likely than throughout my motherhood to know
that that's available and possible, instead of like, oh, I
can't do it, it's too hard, but that we can
do it.
Speaker 1 (52:23):
Each chapter of Rewrite the Mother Code offers thoroughly tailored reflections, meditations,
and rituals to help women get in touch with their
innate mother wisdom and strength. Is there one you can
share with us?
Speaker 3 (52:37):
Oh, well, thank you for that invitation.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
I would love to share one of them and there's one. Well,
I like them all. They're all you know, they're all
my children, and they're all favorites. But there's one called
star ritual.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
Is it okay? If I read that one?
Speaker 1 (52:51):
Please do okay?
Speaker 3 (52:53):
Great?
Speaker 4 (52:54):
Well?
Speaker 2 (52:54):
And as I read this, I mean if you're in
a place that you actually can kind of tune into
it and drop it everything and be with it.
Speaker 3 (53:01):
I invite you.
Speaker 2 (53:01):
Otherwise you just listen as you are so star ritual.
Just as there are an infinite number of stars in
the sky, every person's experience of mothering is unique and
perfect for them. Does one star look across the vastness
and seek to be like another? I cannot imagine this
(53:24):
to be true. Under the night sky or in your imagination,
seek a star that draws your attention. Marvel at its
distant light, imagining all the nights it has watched over.
Hold a wish or intention in your heart, something for yourself,
(53:50):
your child, or your future. With a gentle whisper, Send
your wish to that star, leaving it will carry your
hopes into the vastness of the universe. As you gaze
at the stars, feel a deep connection to the infinite,
(54:12):
knowing you are part of something greater. Conclude with a
quiet affirmation. As the stars shine brightly, so does my
love and hope for the future. And let this connection
bring you awe and comfort.
Speaker 1 (54:37):
Beautiful, thank you so much for sharing that.
Speaker 3 (54:40):
Oh, thank you for the invitation.
Speaker 1 (54:42):
My guest doctor Gertrude lyons her new book, Rewrite the
Mother Code from Sacrifice to Stardust, a cosmic approach to motherhood. Gertrude,
one more time, please share with our listeners where they
can get your book and find out more about you
and your amazing work.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
For sure, well, you can hop up on Amazon and
or your whoever your favorite bookseller is online and grab
it now. You can go to my website www dot
doctor Gertrude Lions dot com and the doctor is d
R Gertrude g E R t r U d E
(55:19):
Lions l y O n s dot com. And I
will say, if you pre order the book and you're
getting it before it comes out on the thirteenth, and
then I'm going to I'm you know, I'll be sharing
this as well if even after the book is out.
Speaker 3 (55:39):
But I did put up there as preorder bonuses the
reflection that I just shared I have some of them
up online and if you just share, there's a way
that you'll see in my website that if you share
you bought the book, we will send you those meditations
that have been beautifully put to music and some visuals.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
Wonderful RICTR, thank you so much for joining us and
sharing this a very very important message, especially in the
world as it is today.
Speaker 3 (56:08):
You're so welcome, Victor, and thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 1 (56:11):
On and thank you for joining us on Vox Novus.
I'm Victor the Voice Ferman. Have a wonderful week.
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