Ron Pevny – Conscious Living, Conscious Aging

Air Date - 05 September 2024

What will we aim for after retirement or do we even retire at all? Do we choose to grow and change as the world grows and changes, or do we sit in our recliners and complain? If you’re part of the Baby Boomer generation, then you belong to the largest generation thus far of the US population that is retiring healthier than any generation before. And that means retirement is starting to look a whole lot different. My guest this week on Vox Novus, Ron Pevny, M.A., has for forty-five years been dedicated to assisting people in negotiating life transitions as they create lives of purpose and passion. He is a published author and the founding director of the Center for Conscious Eldering, based in Colorado, which for twenty years has presented workshops and retreats across North America to support people in bringing purpose, growth, and commitment to service to their elder years. Ron is also a Certified Sage-ing® Leader, has served as the host and interviewer for three Transforming Aging Summits presented by The Shift Network, and is the co-host and interviewer for the Turning Points interview series sponsored by Sage-ing International. His website is https://centerforconsciouseldering.com, and he joins me this week to share the 10th-anniversary edition of his best-selling book, Conscious Living, Conscious Aging.

#RonPevny #VoxNovus #VictorFuhrman #NewThought #Lifestyle #Metaphysics #Paranormal #Spirituality

Visit the Vox Novus Show Page https://omtimes.com/iom/shows/vox-novus/

Connect with Victor Fuhrman at http://victorthevoice.com/

Subscribe to our Newsletter https://omtimes.com/subscribe-omtimes-magazine/

Connect with OMTimes on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Omtimes.Magazine/ and OMTimes Radio https://www.facebook.com/ConsciousRadiowebtv.OMTimes/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/OmTimes/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omtimes/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/2798417/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/omtimes/

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Vox Novus, The New Voice, Vox Novus, the New Dimension,
Vox Novus thought and movement leaders who will share from
their experience and offer tools to help us navigate our
rapidly changing world. My name is Victor Furman. Welcome to

(00:28):
Vox Novus, the New Voice. What will we aim for
after retirement or do we even retire at all? Do
we choose to grow and change as the world grows
and changes, or do we sit in our recliners and complain.

(00:52):
If you're part of the baby Boomer generation, then you
belong to the largest generation thus far of the US
population that is retiring healthier than any generation before, and
that means retirement is starting to look a whole lot different.
My guest this week on Vox Novis Ron Pevney has

(01:13):
for forty five years been dedicated to assisting people in
negotiating life transitions as they create lives of purpose and passion.
He's a published author and the founding director of the
Center for Conscious Eldering based in Colorado, which for twenty
years has presented workshops and retreats across North America to

(01:35):
support people in bringing purpose, growth, and commitment to service
to their elder years. His website is Center for Conscious
Eldering dot com, and he joins me this week to
share the tenth anniversary edition of his best selling book,
Conscious Living, Conscious Aging. Please join me in welcoming to

(01:56):
Vox Novis Ron Pevney. Welcome, Ron, Thank you Victor.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
It's an honor to be with you today.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
Ron.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
What is conscious eldering and how is this different from
positive aging, successful aging, healthy aging, and other approaches to
aging that are getting a lot of attention in media
these days.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, I think modern society's, modern culture's view of aging
is indeed changing, and I am so grateful for that.
It's long overdue, because we have had at least two
or three or four generations when there was definitely not
any kind of an empowering vision for aging for people

(02:42):
to aspire to. And that's beginning to change, and I
think that's really great. I'll say a bit first about
some of these visions, if you will, for aging, and
then I'll contrast it with conscious eldering. I think that's
the most effective way to do it. You know, a
lot of people, people who pay any attention to the

(03:03):
media and who are interested in how we age, will
be familiar with terms like positive aging or healthy aging,
or active aging or successful aging. There's so many different names,
but I think they're all referring to an understanding that

(03:24):
as we age, there's tremendous potential for continuing to be active,
to have lives of meaning, to be engaged with the world,
rather than just drifting off into isolation and irrelevance. And
I think that is incredibly positive, and I applaud all

(03:44):
of that. Conscious eldering, which is what I teach and
have been committed to for a long time, goes a
step further than that, and it doesn't look just at
what we have the potential to do in those post
retirement years, but it takes a look at who is

(04:08):
the person who is going to be doing whatever we
choose to do. It really focuses on our own growth
and development in the latter chapters of our lives, so
that whatever we may choose to do, we can bring strong,
clear energy to it, not dragging a lot of old

(04:29):
baggage from the past. We can bring a kind of
resilience to our aging that enables us to continue to
find purpose and meaning even when or if, and for
most of us, I think it's going to be if
we end up losing a lot of our physical abilities,

(04:53):
because the fact of the matter is that, in spite
of what some of the anti aging advocates tell us,
most of us are going to suffer physical diminishments, physical
losses and breakdowns, perhaps mental losses and breakdowns. And conscious
eldering posits that if we can grow into the elder

(05:20):
that is possible for each of us, and we'll be
talking about that. If we can bring that elder forth
in the latter chapters of our lives, then even when
we suffer losses and diminishments, there is going to be
a strong sense of purpose and a strong sense of
meaning because we know that we are not just our
ability to be active, but there is something deeper inside

(05:42):
of us that is our real essence. And conscious eldering
helps us to get in touch with that truest essence
of who we are.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
How did you recognize your call to be a guide
to conscious eldering.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
Well, I've had a call, Victor. I was about thirty
years old. I first recognized a call to support people
in moving through life transitions and in using life transitions
as an opportunity for you for real growth. As we
move from one life stage to another, and I guess

(06:18):
I first recognized this particular call in a dark night
of the soul, and I think for most of us,
probably in some of those dark nights of the soul
we have when all of a sudden we first become
aware of what is most important, what is truly calling us.
And I became aware that I came most alive and

(06:41):
that I helped other people come most alive when we're
in the natural world, and so back in I guess
nineteen seventy nine, when I was finishing my graduate work
at the California Institute of Integral Studies, I ended up
going on a kind of a self design vision quest

(07:01):
with a few friends. I had heard a few things
about vision questing. I didn't know much about it, but
we went up to the mountains Mount Shasta and northern California,
and we spent several days, much of that time alone, fasting,
really seeking clarity and vision for what's next in our lives,
because all of us felt we were in a major transition.

(07:24):
And I had one of those experiences there that it's
impossible to put into words, but I absolutely knew that
the gift I had to give to the world is
helping other people in times of transition to get in
touch with with their most authentic, deepest vision for who
they can be, for who they can grow into in

(07:46):
the next chapters of their lives. And you know, once
you become aware of your calling, then life seems to
tends to support it. So not long thereafter, I met
Stephen Foster and Meredith Little, who are generally recognized as
I guess you say, the grandmother and grandfather of the
modern right of passage movement for non native peoples, and

(08:07):
I had an opportunity to apprentice with them, and I
began to offer my own right of past wilderness right
of passage experiences for people, and then I knew that
that was it. That's where I made a real difference
in where I was most alive. And so fast forward

(08:27):
about thirty some years and I got in my early fifties,
and I began to realize that there were various rights
of passage experiences around for people, young people moving into adulthood.
There were some for people you know, in midlife crisis
and things like that, but there was nothing to really

(08:47):
mark that passage which is so big from work life
midlife adulthood into the next stage, which I recognize and
know is called elder who And so right about that time,
I got invited by two wise elders about fifteen years
older than me to join them because they also had

(09:09):
a vision for creating some kind of a rite of
passage into elderhood. We joined together and we began to
create retreats that were some of the first of their
kind in helping people use the power of nature with
some good, strong guidance and strong the support of community
to actually envision what it can be like to move

(09:32):
from retirement into an elderhood of purpose and growth and
passion and service.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
The path that you're describing includes what we call synchronicity,
something that I found that when I've made a conscious
choice to pursue something, a number of opportunities would come
my way. Is that what we're talking about.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Oh, definitely, definitely, synchronicity played a big role. And when
I take a look at it, the people around me
who are making a real difference in the world. And
I've had the opportunity to interview a bunch of these
people for a program called Purning Points that a colleague
and I did in the past year. And in every case,

(10:14):
it seems that when people have a strong sense of
where they are headed, what's important to them, all of
a sudden, the most unexpected occurrences happen to support them.
It seems to be purpose and intentionality and synchronicity are
really linked together in a beautiful, mysterious way. And yeah,

(10:37):
so there have been some wonderful synchronicities that have supported
me in moments when, especially in some of those darker
times Victor, when I just couldn't see a way forward,
or I was just really you know, feeling stuck or
feeling like I was getting nowhere, And at those particular moments,
something unexpected happens that it's almost like Grace touches you

(11:00):
and saying, hey, I'm here to support you. Just hang
in there, keep doing what you know you're called to do,
and you'll be supported.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
Absolutely. As we discussed before we started the interview, in
twenty eighteen, my mother in law passed and my wife
at the time looked at me and said, now we're
the elders. And in twenty twenty, my mother passed, and
again my wife looked at me and said, now we're
the elders. What's the difference between being old and being

(11:29):
an elder?

Speaker 2 (11:30):
But the work that we do, I think one of
the ways that we bill it and we speak about
it is that this is work that is for people
who are committed to growing into elderhood and not just
growing old. I think the difference is that, as has
been the case throughout most of known history, in societies

(11:54):
around the world up until you know, maybe the Industrial Revolution,
the more modern age, it was understood that there is
a distinct stage in human growth called elderhood. And it

(12:15):
wasn't just that, you know, as people got older somehow
got more gray hair and wrinkles, that all of a
sudden they somehow become elders. But rather it was that
it was a life stage that required some intentionality and
some effort and some work to fully move into. It

(12:39):
was a life stage in the growth of the human psyche,
in the growth of the human person. And I believe,
I strongly believe in the core of our work is
that there is an elder in each of us, an
archetypal elder, if you will, that seeks to immerse urge

(13:00):
when we get somewhere into the you know, around roughly
around retirement age, and its emergence doesn't happen all at once.
I mean, it's a gradual emergence. And as this elder
emerges with our intentionality and our own work, gradually more

(13:21):
and more were more and more fully move into this
new life stage. And it's a life stage that I
believe is it can be the pinnacle of our personal
and our emotional and our spiritual growth. It's a life stage,
as has been the case you know throughout history, where

(13:44):
we feel called and the community around us expects us
to live not just for ourselves, but rather to be
thinking of the well being of the generations to come
to be thinking of the well being of the community.
Now some people call it generativity, but it's a whole

(14:07):
new commitment to how we live our days that moves
beyond just our own well being, our security or comfort,
but that really does look at at themes like legacy,
themes like how we can be making a difference for
our world now and for our descendants generations down down

(14:29):
the road. It's a beautiful life stage that requires some
work to fully embody in ourselves. And that's the difference
between to me, between elderhood and just old age.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
The elder has always been respected in indigenous and tribal cultures.
Why has there been such a tendency to downplay the
elder in Western society.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Well, that answer, that answer, Victor, I think is so,
I think, is so multifaceted. I can speak to a
couple a couple of the reasons. I think one reason
is that in traditional or indigenous societies throughout the world,

(15:14):
throughout history, there has been a deep, deep connection with
the earth and with the rhythms and cycles of the
natural world. That's where people lived, and so they learned
about beginnings, and they learned about endings and how endings
were necessary in order to lay the groundwork for new beginnings.

(15:37):
They saw that in all of life around us in nature,
and when you see that, then you and when you're
embedded in that, then you see that it's the same
in human beings. That we have life stages in our growth,
and that this growth always requires the end of one stage,

(15:57):
some kind of a significant letting go of aspects of
who we have been to create the space for the
new chapter for who we can become to begin to emerge.
They saw that, but in the world we live in,
that is so removed from the natural world, we have
lost touch with many of these natural rhythms and cycles

(16:20):
in ourselves that are integral to who we are. And
so when you lose touch with that, then you just
kind of see life as one big continuum and changes
happen and you just kind of do your best to
make your way from one experience to another. But it's
almost like the same person is just kind of moving

(16:42):
on year after year after year after year. And that
is such a different vision of human nature than a
vision that really sees and understands that life has cycles
and has rhythms. And so when we've lost touch with
and understanding of these rhythms in the human life cycle,

(17:05):
it's real easy to see that, for instance, as we
go through midlife and then maybe we get into retirement,
that then the next thing is just to continue to
do the best we can to live, you know, actively
and with as much joy as we can, basically, to

(17:25):
keep living as if we were in midlife as long
as we can until we can just no longer pull
it off. And then someday will come when we either
just you know, are too old or frail, or you know,
or or we die and and and then it's over.
And so there's no room in there for an understanding
that there is a whole whole stage in human development

(17:48):
after midlife adulthood that can be incredibly rich and growthful.
But we've lost we've lost touch with that, and so
therefore the role of elder is not something that is recognized.
It's not honored as it's always been in so many societies.
It's hardly spoken of, except maybe as being the first

(18:11):
part of the word elderly. And we all know all
the connotations of the word elderly, which are certainly certainly
not something that people can aspire to or look forward to.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
Why do you consider it so crucial that the role
of elder be supported and also honored in modern society.

Speaker 2 (18:32):
I believe it's so crucial because we have tens of
millions of people just in the United States, you know,
who are past retirement age, and the statistics show I've
seen between ten and twelve thousand people a day reach
the age of sixty six. They are a huge number

(18:56):
of people who are reaching this particular in life. And
these people have a lifetime of skills, a lifetime of experience.
In many cases, I don't think all but in many
cases a lot of wisdom. And to me it I mean,

(19:17):
I think it's a travesty to think of tens of
millions of people with gifts to give, who can make
a real difference in our world when we need. We
need everyone's gifts, and perhaps especially the gifts of people
who've been around long enough to have seen some things
and have some perspective. We need those gifts as a society.

(19:40):
We can't just relegate these people to the bingo rum
or to whatever and think it's only the young people
who are going to be able to help us move
forward into a viable future. When we see all the many,
many challenges around us, we need the gifts of older people. Y.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
My guest is Ron Pevney. We're going to be talking
about his book, the tenth anniversary edition of Conscious Living,
Conscious Aging. Ron, please share with our listeners where they
can get your book and find out more about you
and your work.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
Well, Victor, my book is available most anywhere that books
can be can be purchased. Again, it's conscious Living, Conscious Aging,
claiming the gifts of elderhood. I encourage people because this
is the way that can best help to support my work.
I encourage people to purchase my book if they're interested,

(20:35):
through my publisher, Beyond Words Publishing, and you can just
google that and then you could you could find information
on how to purchase the book. But it's available most everywhere.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
And your website, sir.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
My website is Center for Conscious Eldering dot com. Well,
that's a lot Center for Conscious Eldering dot Com. A
lot of articles on there, a lot of interviews, a
lot of what people consider really meaningful information about aging

(21:14):
with purpose and passion.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
And we'll be back with more of wrong after these words.
On the own Times Radio network.

Speaker 4 (21:21):
The best of the holistic, spiritual and conscious world ome
Times Radio IOMFM. Ome Times Magazine is one of the
leading online content providers of positivity, wellness and personal empowerment.
A philanthropic organization, their net proceeds are finaled to support
worldwide charity initiatives via Humanity Healing International. Through their commitment

(21:44):
to creating community and providing conscious content, they aspire to
uplift humanity on a global scale. Home Times co creating
a more conscious lifestyle.

Speaker 5 (21:55):
More than twenty four million Americans have an autoimmune disorder,
and that number continues to grow well I'm Sharon Sailor,
and I'm one of those twenty four million. To put
that number in perspective, cancer effects about nine million, and
heart disease up to twenty two million. That's why I've
brought together top experts and those thriving regardless of their diagnosis,
to bring you the latest, most up to date information.

(22:16):
Join me Sharon Sailor Friday night, seven pm Eastern for
the Autoimmune Hour on Life Interrupted Radio to find out
how to live your life uninterrupted.

Speaker 3 (22:26):
Hello, I'm Sandy Sedgeby, a host of Home Times Magazine's
flagship radio show, What is going on? My passion is
sifting through information, research and innovations from new thought teachers,
speakers and researchers, pushing back the boundaries of what we
know about life, energy, metaphysics, and the universe. I love
shifting perceptions about who we are, why we're here, and

(22:49):
how quickly impossible becomes normal when we open our minds,
expand our awareness, and accept that the only limits that
exist are those we place upon ourselves. So kind of
forward thinking, eager investigator of what lies beyond the current
reality that most perceive. Why not make a date to
come play with me? In the field of Possibilities at

(23:10):
four pm Pacific time seven pm Eastern time every Thursday,
and together we can discover what's really going on.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
If I could be you and you could be me
for just one hour.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
If you could find a way to get.

Speaker 6 (23:25):
Inside each other's mind.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
Walk a mile in my shoes.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
Walk a mile in my shoes.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
Walk a mile in my shoes.

Speaker 7 (23:33):
We've all felt left out, and for some that feeling
lasts more than a moment.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
We can change that.

Speaker 8 (23:40):
Learn how it belonging begins with us dot org.

Speaker 3 (23:42):
Brought to you by.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
The AD Council. Walk a mile in the shoes.

Speaker 9 (23:50):
Hi, this is Bill Mark. I can find humor in
almost anything, but one thing I never laugh about. It
is cruelty to animals. If you don't get the joke either, Right,
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals Five on one
Front Street in Norfolk, Virginia, two three five one oh.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Imagine yourself being transported to India, to the banks of
the Ganga and an ashram in Rishikesh. Visualize that you
are welcome to Satsan with an American Sanyasi who shares
the wisdom of her Guru. Your visualization has manifested join
Satfi Bagawati Saraswati for inspiration and transformation. Every Thursday at

(24:29):
eleven a m Eastern on Old Times Radio.

Speaker 8 (24:35):
Grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine
and tune in for inspired conversations with publisher Linda Joy
on Tuesdays at two pm Eastern. Linda creates sacred Space
for leading female luminaries, empowering authors, art centered female entrepreneurs,
coaches and healers. A soulful venue where guests openly share

(24:58):
the fears and obstacles they've overcome, wisdom and lessons learned,
and the personal journey that led them to the transformational
work they do in the world. Inspired conversations to empower
you on your path to authentic, soulful living.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
Back on Vox Novus, my guest this week is Ron Pevny.
We're talking about the tenth anniversary edition of his book
Conscious Living, Conscious Aging. Ron, what does it mean to
age consciously? Does it mean to bring clearer intentions to
our lives as we age? Or is there more to this?

Speaker 2 (25:37):
Well? It does, indeed, Victor, mean to bring clearer intentions,
But I think there is a whole lot more to it.
So to me, growing in consciousness means growing in awareness,
and let me talk about some of the awareness is

(26:00):
that I think are so important in our human growth
and especially when we enter the later chapters of our life.
Being conscious means having increased awareness of what is our
own true inner voice, what is our own truth, as

(26:23):
opposed to all the many other voices and messages that
we have internalized that have come from our parents and
have come from the society around us, that have told
us about who we should be, what we should aspire to,
what should be important. So it's becoming aware of what
is most authentically us. To me, becoming increasingly conscious means

(26:47):
to become increasingly aware of those shadow elements in us
that we all have that disempower us, that sap our
energy and our strength off because they are in the shadow,
we're not aware of them. Those are those elements in

(27:09):
us that can really derail us as we make choices
and we set intentions for how we're going to be
living our life. To me, becoming increasingly conscious means becoming
increasingly aware of our interdependence with all other human beings

(27:31):
and with the whole community of living creatures on this earth,
and the more we're aware that our well being and
the well being of all those around us are deeply intertwined.
The more we are going to at the deepest gut level,
have a deep, deep commitment to giving our gifts as

(27:54):
best we can to help support the well being of
everything around us. And so I think the purpose the
intentions that we live for are very much guided by
what we become aware of as we become conscious of
all of the needs around us and our role in

(28:16):
all of this. And one more, I think becoming increasingly
conscious is becoming increasingly aware that we are more than
just our personality and our ego selves doing what we do,
but that there is a deep spiritual essence in each
of us. It doesn't matter to me what we call it,

(28:40):
but a deep spiritual essence that is living in this body,
in this personality, in this ego that we have. And
I think that awareness is especially important as we age,
because as we lose our physical abilities, we lose the
abilities to do those things that you know that our

(29:03):
personality selves and our ego selves have found really important
and have gotten joy from. As we lose them, then
we have the opportunity for this inner essence is spiritual
self to come to the forefront, to grow to be
more prominent in our lives, to guide us. And I

(29:26):
think that's the source of the kind of resilience and
the kind of healing, and the source of the vision
for how we can best give our gifts that really
characterize people who have grown into true elderhood. So all
of those to me are aspects of what it means
to become more conscious. And as we increase in consciousness,

(29:52):
then the choices we make in this precious time we
have left are going to be more in alignment with
what is most true to us, and not in alignment
with what we are told by the world around us
should be important or should be valuable to us.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
I find personally many of these answers when I do
a life review. Why is life review important in aging consciously?
And what are the productive ways to do such a review?

Speaker 2 (30:22):
Well, life review, I think is incredibly important because if
we aspire to whatever we aspire to, you know, in
the years ahead of us, you know the old saying victor, well,
wherever you go, there you are. Yes, if we, like
most of us you know, who have been wounded by

(30:43):
the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Most of us
have internalized a lot of disempowering stories you know about
ourselves from our experiences in the world around us. Most
of us have a lot of baggage, and this baggage,
it takes energy. It takes energy. A lot of us

(31:05):
have a lot of resentments, a lot of things that
need forgiven in ourselves or in others, and it takes
energy to kind of hold on to resentments, for instance.
A lot of this baggage takes energy. And if that
energy is being used to deal with stuff from the

(31:25):
past that we have not recognized and somehow healed or
let go of, then that energy is not going to
be available to us as we age, And inevitably aging
is the time in life when our energy does wane,
and so we want to make sure that our energy
is as clear as possible to put into wherever we

(31:46):
really feel most called to place our energy, but not
have it be stuck in the past. And so I
think life review is very much, certainly about seeing what
we're carrying with us it needs to be let go.
But it's also very much about getting in touch with
what we have learned through a long life so far,

(32:10):
about what is truly our most important gifts. I call
them signature gifts. You know, what makes us come most alive,
Where can we make the biggest difference, Where do we
get the most satisfaction, what are our strengths? And having
that awareness really really then helps us to have clarity

(32:32):
about what's calling, how can we shine, how can we
make a difference, how can we really thrive in the
years ahead of us. First we need to see this
journey we've come on, what have we gained from it?
And then what is it that we indeed want to
take forward with us, while at the same time we
let go of some things that really do need to

(32:53):
be let go. And so you ask Victor about ways
to do life review. There are a lot of ways
to do life review. I think it's just build into
human nature that when we end up getting into you know,
around retirement age sixties seventies or some people, even before

(33:13):
we begin to find ourselves more and more thinking about
the past. I think it kind of naturally happens that
we want to be looking at our life and seeing
what this journey's been and seeing what we've learned from it.
That naturally happens. But for a lot of people they
don't pay much attention to it, and for a lot

(33:36):
of people, engaging in some kind of a structured way
of doing life review can be really meaningful. One way
that I really like was a one that was taught
by Rabbi Zalman Schacter Shilomi, who wrote the seminole book
From Aging to Saging, and he encouraged people to make

(33:57):
a commitment over a period of you know, several weeks
or months, to have writing time with themselves. And during
this writing time, he suggested break your life into seven
year segments. And he liked to think of it like
the first seven years, or the January of your life,
the next seven years, or the February of the next
seven of the march. But break your life into seven

(34:20):
year segments, and as you think about each segment, reflect
on and write about what most stood out for you
about that segment of your life. You know, who were
the people that were most important. What do you think
were the most important things you learned about yourself and
about life? What were the biggest challenges you faced during

(34:42):
that particular time. You know, what were the moments when
you were most joyful? Looking at each chapter in that way,
as you make your way all the way up to
the present. We beg we begin to see a whole
unfolding process of a life, if you will, and we
begin to see certain threads that have been woven through

(35:05):
this certain kind of experiences that have come up now
and then and again and again. That kind of help
us to see what is integral, what are the threads
that have held our particular life and our own particular
journey of growth together. And so doing that kind of
a review can be really, really helpful for a lot

(35:26):
of people. I'm just going to mention one other Victor,
and that is that people can spend time writing a
perhaps three or four page, carefully written what I call
a legacy letter. Some people have other names for it,
but basically, imagine that you are writing a letter to

(35:47):
a descendant, to a grandchild or somebody who may never
actually know you in person, but you want them to
be able to know who is the essence of Victor Furman.
What would you like this grandchild, for instance, to know
about your life? What do you feel was most important

(36:08):
in shaping you? What was your most important contribution, what
were your most important values? What were the challenges you faced?
And doing this really carefully, so you're not just talking
about what a nice guy you were, but you're really
giving this grandchild a picture of who you were and
what your life was about. It can be an incredible

(36:30):
gift to our descendants, but I think even more it's
a gift to us because it requires us to look
at our lives in a way most of us don't
look at our lives at any point, and certainly not
when we end up getting, you know, toward our sixties
and seventies.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
Absolutely, you mentioned the word forgiveness. One of the things
that I found officiating funerals and memorial services is that
many will come up to me after the service and say,
I wish I had forgiven that person, or I wish
I had asked them for forgiveness, or I wish I
simply wish I told them I loved them before they

(37:09):
passed away. What do you say about forgiveness? Who's forgiveness?
For ah?

Speaker 2 (37:14):
Forgiveness is more for the one who needs to do
the forgiving than it is for the one forgiven. Forgiveness
is so important because if we don't forgive and we
are holding resentments, that is toxic, is sapping our energy.

(37:39):
You know, the one who might need to be forgiven
perhaps isn't even aware. I mean, you know, that's way
in the past. You know, maybe they're not even aware
that they did something that needs to be forgiven. But
here we are holding on to it and holding on
to it. And I know I've had some important personal
learnings about this myself, seeing how toxic it is to

(38:02):
hold on to resentments and grudges when it's not serving
anybody at all. And so you know, I've one of
my original partners in this work, and many of the
people who come on our retreats, it turns out, are
people who have worked somehow in hospice, and they all

(38:24):
say that it seems like the thing the biggest factor
in many people not being able to die a peaceful
death is lack of forgiveness that they take all the
way to their deathbed. And so very often this lack
of forgiveness is not about someone else, but it's about themselves,

(38:46):
you know, certain resentments and grudges that they have carried
about themselves and about things they have done or not
done that have diminished their sense of joy and their
sense of worth and their sense of of of being
able to see the beauty in their lives and so
forgiveness is more for the forgiver than it is for

(39:08):
the other one.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Absolutely. What is the death lodge practice and how can
it support conscious eldering.

Speaker 2 (39:16):
Well, the death lodge practice is, I think a practice
that we do on our week long Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreats,
and we certainly encourage people to engage in in their
in their in their daily lives periodically that many people
find incredibly incredibly powerful. It stems from a practice that

(39:41):
my mentors told me that they they learned from the
Cheyenne people of the Plains States here in the America's
and it's how among the Cheyenne people prepared to die
for that final passage. And the essence of it is

(40:04):
that if someone really had a sense that the end
was near, they would lead. They would, you know, they
would take care of whatever they needed to on the
physical plane, you know, in the village, but then they
would go to a place called the death lodge on
the edge of the village, and there they would do
that work that was most critical, that they felt was

(40:26):
most critical to prepare to meet their creator, and you know,
they would do their own inner work, their own prayer
work their own reviewing their life and honoring the life
they have lived and what they have learned. But a
critical part of it was that those who played important
roles in their lives in the village, in the community

(40:49):
were invited to come one at a time to their
death lodge, and there the person who is nearing their
death and the other one would have a final conversation,
you know, with an understanding that death was near for
one of them, and they would talk about whatever was
important to bring closure to their relationship. You know, they

(41:13):
would offer forgiveness to each other or ask for forgiveness
if that was needed. They would acknowledge how important the
other one was in their lives and express affection and gratitude.
They would do whatever needed to be done so that
there was true closure, so that then the one who

(41:36):
was about to die could move forward, you know, toward
their final days, not carrying any un finished business. And
so in our work we incorporate a I guess you'd say,
a modern day version of the death lodge practice, where
people go and spend two or three hours in nature

(41:58):
imagining that they are in that kind of a death lodge,
as I talked about, and imagining that the end of
their life is near, and it may be for you,
for me, for all of us. We don't know, it
may be, so imagining that it is near, and we
invite in spirit into our death lodge a person than

(42:21):
a second person, if that feels right, to have a
conversation in spirit, saying those things that absolutely need to
be said between two souls, so that any old resentments
can be cleared, so that appreciation and love can be expressed,
so that there can be real closure. And I'll tell you, Victor,

(42:42):
we have had some of the most incredible stories of
healing when people have done this kind of death lodge
work on one of our retreats, or we've heard stories
how people when they're at home, and sometimes the most
incredible synchronicities happen, because it's not just people's experience of
It isn't just well, I'm just pretending I'm having a

(43:05):
conversation with somebody in spirit. People experience it is a
reality that they are having a conversation soul to soul
with another person, and great healing can happen in that.
And I just love some of the stories I've heard
about that, and so that in essence is what the

(43:26):
death lawge practice is his.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
Book, the tenth anniversary edition of Conscious Living, Conscious Aging.
We'll be back with more with Ron Pevty after these
words on the Own Times Radio network.

Speaker 10 (43:40):
Humanity Healing International is a small nonprofit with a big dream.
Since two thousand and seven, HHI has been working tirelessly
to bring help to communities with little or no Oh.
Our projects are not broad mandates, nor are they overnight solutions,
but they bring the reassurance then no one is alone

(44:00):
and that someone cares to learn more. Please visit Humanity
Healing dot org. Humanity Healing is where your heart is.

Speaker 6 (44:09):
So I'm a cat and I just moved in with
this new human and she's got this little toy she's
always playing with all day long. Tap tap tap tap
blue bloop. She can't put it down there it is oh,
and get this, She even talks to it. Last week
she asked it for Chinese and guess what, Eggirl showed
up Like magic. Humans have cool toys.

Speaker 9 (44:31):
A person is the best thing to happen to a
shelter pet be that person adopt.

Speaker 4 (44:35):
Brought to you by the ad Council and the Shelter
Pet Project dot org.

Speaker 11 (44:39):
This is the story of a very special woman. Just
a few knew about her superpowers. In a matter of seconds,
she turned herself into a great mathematician. She masqueraded as
a regular person at work, but as a superhero at home.
Everyone knows her as Gabriella. I still call her mom.

Speaker 7 (44:57):
Your hero needs you now. An aa RP is here
to help find the care guides you need to help,
complete with tips and resources at AARP dot org. Slash
Caregiving brought to you by AARP and the ad Console.

Speaker 12 (45:10):
You can escape a traffic.

Speaker 7 (45:11):
Jam no one else.

Speaker 12 (45:13):
You can't escape seasonal allergies, and you might think you
can avoid that coffee stain until well, really, you can't
escape a lot of things in life, but you can
escape pre diabetes. Pre Diabetes captures one in three adults.

(45:35):
There are usually no signs of pre diabetes. In fact,
most people don't even know they have it. But with
early diagnosis you can change the outcome and prevent or
delay type two diabetes. Take action by taking the one
minute risk test at do I have Prediabetes dot org.
You might not be able to escape having this song

(45:56):
stuck in your head, but you can escape pre diabetes
go to do I have prediabetes dot Org today brought
to you by the AD Council and the Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
Back on Vox Novus, my guest this week, Ron Pevney.
We're talking about the tenth anniversary edition of his book
Conscious Living, Conscious Aging. Ron. Some feel a strong need
to contribute to the world as they age, but also
want to slow down and save her life, spend lots
of time with family, and be reflective. It often feels

(46:33):
these goals are at odds with each other. How can
we best deal with that tension?

Speaker 2 (46:40):
Well, Victor, it's all a matter of finding balance, you know.
I guess that's true with all of life. But I
think that as we approach our elder years, we need
to come to know ourselves. And again, I think this
is part of becoming conscious, of really owing ourselves well.

(47:01):
We need to know what that particular balance is that's
right for us. And it's not going to be the
same for me as it.

Speaker 13 (47:09):
Is for you, or for for any one of one
of your listeners, but they're both critically important because elderhood,
the life stage of elderhood, is very very much about
deepening our inner lives, deepening our spiritual.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Lives, and you know, seeing the sacredness and the beauty
around us in ways, in small things, in ways that
perhaps we couldn't do when our lives are all all
caught up in the bigger things. You know, that are
part of being younger. That's important. Savoring life, savoring each

(47:47):
moment is critically important, but at the same time, at
the same time, and I think more so maybe in
today's world than in a long long time, have an
obligation to somehow be contributing to the larger world around us.

(48:09):
Elders have always had an obligation. The communities have always
let it be known that the gifts of elders are needed.
They're not just an option, they are needed. And so
there's an obligation to find ways to give our gifts
in ways that feel right to us, that you know,
don't somehow violate us or we're not constantly putting pressure

(48:30):
on ourselves, but ways that just kind of seem to
want to flow from us, a natural outgrowth of who
we are at this point in our life and what
we've learned and who we've become. And so finding that
balance is so important and you know, I know it
can be really challenging for a lot of people, but

(48:52):
I think, you know, a definition of elder that is
really meaningful to me is one that I have heard
from various wise men terms of mine, and that is
is an el You know, you're an elder and you've
entered true elderhood if and when you get to a
point where when you get up each day, your strongest

(49:16):
motivation is it today, somehow I am going to grow
and somehow I'm going to be of service And doesn't
mean that's all you aspire to that day, but that's
your strongest motivation. And if you're going to somehow grow
and be of service, then you know, I am quite

(49:38):
confident that you're going to find a way to do
it in a way that is truly balanced. But for
so many people, I think, in today's world, who have
not been blessed with you know, even exposure to some
of these ideas about elderhood that I and others share,

(49:59):
who don't have any kind of a vision for what
elderhood can be, their strongest motivation when they get up
is how am I going to fill the hours? How
am I going to maximize my security? And how am
I going to get as much pleasure as I can
possibly get? And that's a very very different motivation. And

(50:23):
so I think the best balance comes from having this motivation.
How am I going to somehow grow? And how am
I going to somehow serve? And from that we're going
to find ways to grow, to serve, to find some security,
to find some joy, to find quiet, reflective time. We're
going to find our own particular balance that can enable

(50:47):
us to thrive as elders.

Speaker 1 (50:49):
We had talked before about purpose. What about passion? Is
passion the same as purpose?

Speaker 2 (50:57):
You know, I think in common pat arlance, in common
use of language, many people equate the two victor, but
I see them as I see them as being a
little bit different. Yeah, you know, I think oftentimes when
somebody talks about passion, you know, like I have a
passion I love to fly fish, Okay, And I might

(51:19):
say I have a passion for fly fishing or something
like that. But to me, to me, what passion is
is a life energy that is strong and flowing free
in us that we apply to specific areas of our

(51:42):
life that are important to us. If we don't have
this energy that I'm calling passion, a strong life energy flowing.
Then whatever we might enjoy or might want to put
our energy into isn't going to be very empowered, is
not going to be that much energy. And so that's

(52:02):
why for me, living a life of passion really means
doing those kinds of things that support us having strong
life energy. And I know one important question to I think,
and that we always share with the people in our retreats,
is to ask, what are the things you do that

(52:23):
sap your life energy? You know, what are you feeding
yourself that is sapping your energy as opposed to really
supporting you having strong life energy and therefore strong passion.
You know, you're feeding yourself a junk food diet, you know,
a physical food. Are you feeding yourself a junk food
diet of image images and constantly surrounding yourself, you know,

(52:47):
with the images of fear and crastness that surround us
in the media, or are you're feeding yourself plenty of
inspiring images and poetry. There's a whole list of things
that we can do that can feed our passion, and
a whole lot of other things we can do that
can just sap our energy. So we don't have much

(53:08):
of the energy of passion to apply to anything. Does
that make Does that respond to your question.

Speaker 1 (53:14):
Victor absolutely Ron, what would you like readers to take
away from Conscious Living, Conscious Aging?

Speaker 2 (53:22):
I would like readers of that book, and I would
like people who are listening to this interview to recognize
that there are possibilities for their aging that are far
beyond what the world around us tells us is possible.

(53:43):
There is a vision for a whole life chapter that
can be a time of fulfillment and purpose and growth
and service that we can aspire to, even though that
vision isn't the dominant vision in the world around us now.
I'd like readers and listeners to know that to grow

(54:05):
into the possibilities of this vision, into the elderhood that
is possible, takes some effort. We have to be willing
to stretch outside of our comfort zones. We have to
be willing to live out, to stop living just out
of habit and to try to live more with more

(54:25):
awareness and consciousness. It takes some work. But from all
those I know who I feel have have embodied the
possibilities of elderhood, They'll all say it is so worth it.
It is so very, very worth it, and so in
my book, I paint a vision for what this elderhood

(54:47):
can be. Have plenty of practices and exercises and reflections
and stories that can help people to see how they
can make this vision a part of how they age,
if they choose to do so.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
My guest is Ron Pevne, his book the tenth anniversary
edition of Conscious Living, Conscious Aging. Ron one more time,
please share with our listeners with it and get your
book and find out more about you.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
Yeah, Victor, my book's available anywhere that books are available.
I would just give one little note here for various
technical reasons that even I cannot understand. On places like Amazon,
even though they have a picture of the cover of
the new edition of my book, it says publication date

(55:36):
twenty fourteen, ignore that they're going to receive the new edition,
and they can get my book from my publisher, Beyond
Words dot com, and in doing so they really help
to support the work that I and my colleagues do.
People can learn about our work at Center for Conscious

(55:58):
Eldering dot com.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
Ron, thank you so much for joining us and for
sharing this important wisdom for those of us who are
of the golden years and really are seeking our purpose
and great things to do as elders in this world.

Speaker 2 (56:13):
Thank you Ron well, thank you Victor for the opportunity,
and I wish you and your good work well.

Speaker 1 (56:19):
Thank you and thank you for joining us on Vox Novus.
I'm Victor, the Voice Firman. Have a wonderful week.