May 3, 2023 • 42 mins
Welcome back to WTF Wednesday!
This week we bring you all of the Florida Fuckery!
There is only one more episode before we sign off on this season.
Make sure you don't miss out on any of our episodes.
Let us know if you have any suggestions for next season.
Thanks, everyone!
Nothin better to do on a Saturday evening
https://bit.ly/3p1ag0j
Didn't know you could do this in the library
https://bit.ly/3LMpyxJ
You can't prove I stole that shirt!
https://bit.ly/3LuIxMQ
How did you not know?
https://bit.ly/41ZBJxZ
Cass's fun fact
https://bit.ly/3oZE6Ce
911 isn't in the business of providing rides to Hooters?
https://bit.ly/41ZtW2X
Just open the door!
https://bit.ly/3Vo6cTP
https://bit.ly/3Lp7UQh
Steve Wozniak (Apple) LITERALLY Prints His Own Money | Wild Ride! Clips YouTube
https://bit.ly/3oWT9fP
This week we bring you all of the Florida Fuckery!
There is only one more episode before we sign off on this season.
Make sure you don't miss out on any of our episodes.
Let us know if you have any suggestions for next season.
Thanks, everyone!
Nothin better to do on a Saturday evening
https://bit.ly/3p1ag0j
Didn't know you could do this in the library
https://bit.ly/3LMpyxJ
You can't prove I stole that shirt!
https://bit.ly/3LuIxMQ
How did you not know?
https://bit.ly/41ZBJxZ
Cass's fun fact
https://bit.ly/3oZE6Ce
911 isn't in the business of providing rides to Hooters?
https://bit.ly/41ZtW2X
Just open the door!
https://bit.ly/3Vo6cTP
https://bit.ly/3Lp7UQh
Steve Wozniak (Apple) LITERALLY Prints His Own Money | Wild Ride! Clips YouTube
https://bit.ly/3oWT9fP
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What Happens in the Woods is atrue crime podcast. We discuss events that
are often violent in nature. Listeners, discretion is advised. Welcome to WTF
Wednesday, half an hour of truecrime stories is the finest fucker now Here
(00:20):
is your host Jess with true crimestories that'll make you say what the fuck.
Hello, dear friends, and welcome. You have found true crime podcast
What Happens in the Woods, andfortunately for you, you have found us
during the most beloved of times ourWTF series. We are going to share
(00:41):
stories from around the globe that leaveyou saying what the fuck? And let
me introduce you to the gang assembled. Today we have Olivia Hello, We
(01:04):
have Cass with the fun Facts.Oh hi hello, oh oh hi.
Hey there, and we have aspecial guest with us today, Olivia's boyfriend
(01:26):
Alec. Yeah. Hello, helloeveryone, and of course we have Price.
Hello. Hello. So this isthe highly anticipated episode of everything that
(01:47):
is Florida Fuckery. Yeah, justfor you, Olivia, let's go,
let's get started. Just something else. As an additional note, yes,
(02:15):
do tell us your fuckery. Iwill okay, thank you for asking.
Always a pleasure. Our first FloridaFuckery begins in Naples, Florida, just
a little over two weeks ago,where a man was able to roam freely
for nearly an hour in police headquarters. Just roaming around in the headquarters in
(02:37):
the late hours on a Saturday,Joseph Moulton, age thirty six, got
a little day drunk, had nothingbetter to do, decided to find out
what to what to do, andhe happened upon the police headquarters in Naples,
Florida. So Moulton was able tojump a fence and gain entry to
(02:57):
the building by way of a securitydoor, but not before hiding in a
patrol car and watching people like exitthe building. He then jumped behind some
bushes and there he found a wateringhose that he used to shove under a
different door than what he entered in, and he flooded a hallway with one
to two inches of water as onedoes, as one does. Right then
(03:20):
he went around found the security door. During his perusal of the headquarters,
he was able to really just youknow, let loose have some fun with
it. Some of what he didin the forty minutes in the building were
walked through. Some of the officesfound the men's locker room, decided to
take a shower. He then proceededto walk around the halls with only a
towel on. Oh, as onedoes when committing fuckery. Right, when
(03:45):
you're walking around after a shower,you walk around with a towel, right,
let let things dry. He thenfound the woman's bathroom and he took
a ship on the floor. Oh, absolute fucking unit. Right after that,
he decided he was searched around forsome clothing and a hat and then
wrap up the fun. At almostone am, an officer realized something was
(04:06):
off when he walked into the men'slocker room and found his duffel bag open,
kind of rifled through, and someof his things were missing, like
one of his uniforms. After searching, police were able to locate the man's
wallet, who had been in theheadquarters. He dropped his wallet in the
patrol car. Yeah, so theyknew exactly who they were looking for.
(04:30):
There was also some very interesting videofootage to come through. Around this time,
there was also a call reporting astrange man acting quote suspiciously while wearing
law enforcement clothing in quote at anext door seven to eleven convenience store.
Moulton was apprehended at six or fiveam after they tracked him down by way
of his ID and he has beencharged with felony accounts of burglary, grand
(04:54):
theft and he was released on thirtythousand dollars bail. There is a pending
court date coming up this month forthis gentleman just find outstanding Florida citizen.
Yeah, I'm just kind of curioushow you get drunk and end up not
really. I mean, he didn'tbreak in necessarily, he was able to
just get in the building. Butthere's nobody around, Like, there's nobody
(05:15):
around that sees this guy for almostan hour. I don't know if it's
like a substation or if it waslike the real like where they report for
work. I don't know. Imean it had locker rooms, I don't
know, because and it had gearbecause at one point he threw a radio
in the woman's toilet after he tooka shit on the floor. Over heah,
takes a shit on the floor andthen throws the radio in the toilet
(05:38):
in the toilet, right, littlereversed, little little backwards. Yeah,
yeah, it was. Yeah,that's a normal Tuesday. I mean,
is it in Florida? Sure?I mean, honestly, it's about sending
a message. It could have beenabout sending a message like I'm on your
property and I'm fucking with your shitand what are you going to do about
(05:59):
it? What are you going todo about it? Where this is a
cautionary tale about day drinker day drinking, but day drinking is a different kind
of drink. Yeah, well itis. Yes. Also I'm curious.
Was it like moonshine? Like whatwas it you were drinking? Sir?
Yeah, that at home beer.Yeah, he made it from scratch in
(06:25):
his basement. That good stuff.That good good. Yeah, you know,
to each his own. I preferon a Saturday night to go to
the casino. He he preferred togo to the jail, to the to
police headquarters, hang out, takea shot. Um. It was.
It was in the like after midnight, day drinking all day and then taking
(06:47):
a shower and then getting arrested upwhat one am? No, he was
arrested at six. They they wentto the seven eleven, couldn't find him,
and then tracked him down because hehad left his IDs. So they
started looking for you know, we'regoing to go to your home. They
were going to go to known places. Yeah, but yeah, he had
been day drinking and he I meanforty minutes in the building, but he
(07:10):
had been on the premises for awhile. It wasn't wasn't just you know,
because he was hiding in the patrolcar and then he was hiding in
bushes and he was seeing people goand he was watching, you know,
the logistics of oh, I'm goingto get in this building. And then
he proceeded to flood the building.And yeah, he was there, and
have you flood the building? Andthen nobody's like, oh, what's all
this water? Right? I mean, they didn't find that until after he
(07:34):
had already exited. It's just oddto me that. I mean, I
guess maybe on a Saturday it's SkeletonCrew. I don't know. Yeah,
yeah, it's just the powers ofday drinking. Sure, I don't know
he was able to get around thatbuilding with a towlon with nobody catching him.
(07:55):
Or maybe in a past life hewas a police officer and day drink
just knew. Day drinking was justthe way he remembered, I mean,
chalked his memory that moodshine hit.I mean, there was the one time
I went day drinking and I sawa fire extinguisher and extinguished my friends.
(08:16):
Okay, that's the power of daydrinking. Day drinking is odd. Yeah,
it's what happens. So when youhave fifteen mimosas, unlimited mimosas,
it's fantastic. Highly I mean,I guess we're lucky that that's all you
did, was still a fire extinguisher. It's a five hundred dollar fine,
(08:37):
it is, yeah that you remember. Yeah, I didn't get fined.
We kept it like as a memorial. Oh you know, safety safety first.
Oh no, it was used likeit was gone. Oh okay,
it was discharged. Day drinking isa different kind of drunk. It is.
(08:58):
Well, if anyone has any tales, do tell us. Yeah,
we'd love to know. Absolutely.You know, use in an alias,
it's fine, but please do tellus, all right. Our next story
is from twenty twenty where a Floridaman was caught doing something highly inappropriate public
library. No, my god,I mean you could use that as a
(09:22):
euphanism. So twenty six year oldTroy Joseph McCorvey was found by a security
guard watching some porn at the libraryon a public computer. I don't know
how you do that, though,because don't they have blocks on that stuff.
Usually they have firewall set Florida whereanything's possible. I'm just I'm highly
(09:43):
confused. He's twenty six. He'stwenty six years old. He had to
go to the public library to findporn. I met point. Just use
your imagination, my dude. Maybethat was the thrill of it, though,
is what I'm thinking. Maybe,you know, to be in the
public place and trying to get caught. Well, no, I almost feel
(10:03):
like you wanted to get caught becauseyou're you're you're in the library, like
people are going to find you.Oh yeah. But it's more the sense
of like you got to try tonot get caught, and if you get
caught, like, oh no,I have mixed feelings about it. Go
around. Yeah, I don't know. Of course, you know, when
(10:24):
you're watching porn by yourself, you'reyou're doing the do with yourself, so
to speak. So that is exactlywhat was going on. McCorvey was found
in front of a computer with hispants down and his penis and testicles exposed,
just in the library. Security officerimmediately told him, you know,
you've got to get out, You'vegot to leave their premises, directed him
(10:46):
to exit the building by way ofthe stairs. McCorvey refused and made a
run for the elevator. And thenthis turned into like a classic cartoon chase
scene between the two men, withthem going around evading each other, things
being like tossed in the direction sothat the officer would have to go around
(11:07):
or jump, And then they endedup at the elevator and mccorby went down.
The security guard ran down the stairsand met him in front of the
elevator as the doors opened. It. It was very stupid, so he
was caught let out of the building. However, he then took off into
some woods to hide out. Hewas then caught after the police were called
(11:28):
to the scene and a search wasdone of the woods. So don't hide
in the woods. If you're inthe library watching porn and jacking off,
stay out of the damn woods.So mccorby was charged with indecent exposure as
you would think, battery, andtwo counts of resisting without arrest without violence.
(11:50):
Anybody guess what his bond was?How much his bond was ten dollson
you're very close, Olivia, eightyfive thousand dollars. That to me either,
He has priors that they didn't list, or because it's the library.
(12:11):
I don't know, it could bepublic end or kids around. But yeah,
maybe he's done this before and theyare just like, don't do it
again. But they kept it likein the system. Maybe I thought that
was a huge like it again,don't do it again. Yeah, we
shame on you keep your willying yourpants. I mean he probably was like,
(12:33):
no, I'm not going to doit again. Like sorry, man
lesson learned. Yeah, I sawyou jacking off right there next to the
kids. This is your warden though, right, Oh my god. So
next step out of Okaloosa County.In twenty nineteen, sheriffs arrested a woman
who was bicycling down Highway ninety eighton Okaloosa I think I'm saying that right
(12:58):
Okaloosa Island. The woman was topless. I think I saw I think I
saw this, Okay, So Countysheriffs pulled up along her while riding her
bicycle in the center of the highway. They told her pull over, and
she replied, quote unquote, makeme accepted, right, So the sheriff
(13:22):
fulled out in front of her andstopped the car and her attempt to bypass
on the bike as the car cameto a stop, failed and she was
taken into custody. It was realizedthat thirty two year old Elizabeth Backs allegedly
shoplifted a pair of flip flops anda T shirt earlier in the evening.
But why was she topless? Right? So she thought if she ditched the
(13:46):
shirt that she wouldn't be connected tothe theft at Surfside Outfitters, So she
tossed it off the road and proceededon that trial down the highway. This
won't draw any attention, No,not at all. Right, they won't
suspect me. If steel won't suspectme of stealing the flip flops, everyone
distract aversion. I'll put the flipflops on my hand. It could also
(14:13):
be a hat. So she wasarrested and charged with petty theft in the
second degree and two counts of resistingan officer without violence. Our next story
is also from twenty nineteen. InBraden Tin, Florida, twenty six year
old Alexander Zane Heisl was spotted bydeputies walking in the roadway. There's a
(14:33):
lot of fucking chaos happening in theseroadways. People just be walking down the
middle of the fucking roads. Soof course, as you do, you
pull over and you come around andyou stop him and ask him what the
fuck he's doing. And when askedhis name, he gave his brother's name,
Nathan Heisl who's twenty three, inorder to avoid being arrested on a
(14:54):
warrant. Turns out his brother alsohad a warrant out for his arrest.
You're done fucked up. So thejig was up and Alexander was found out
after he was fingerprinted while being booked. I'm not sure what the brothers weren't
was for, but Alexander had twowarrants for dealing stolen property and uttering forged
(15:16):
instruments. I don't know what thatmeans, uttering forged instruments. Yeah,
isn't that weird. They then addedcharges for providing a false identification to law
enforcement. His brother Nathan then wentinto hiding and was not found for several
months. After this happened, monthsmonths, Yeah, went on the LAMB
(15:39):
classic. Yeah, it's crazy.I just I mean, you're also very
recognizable, Like there were certain tattoosand certain locations, Like there was facial
tattoos there was tattoos around the necklike the these are. I'm sure your
brother doesn't have identical tattoos in thesame places, so probably would have been
(16:00):
found. So uttering a forged instrumentis when you intentionally create a forged document
or financial instrument and circulate it intothe public. It can be a promissory
note, a check, a bill, or draft, or any other formal
document that would lead to the paymentof money to basically forger. So he
(16:21):
forged some checks. Yeah that's great, that's so that was so much.
Yeah, that make it sound somore informatic. Thank you. Yeah,
well, I think it instead ofjust maybe checks, but it encompasses like
counterfeit bills and oh it's a largeokay, yeah, what was the thing
again? Okay, uttering forged instrument, I'm not gonna lie. I thought
(16:42):
it was like he was making illegalweaponry. No, like he was just
making like knives, and like,I mean he had a he had a
like a sword, like a forageout in his backyard. I mean,
with that freaking title on a itcould have been anything. Yeah, any
legal lightsaber, he's legal it Okay, Okay, I mean that that.
(17:11):
I guess that adds like it workswith dealing with stolen property, like he's
forging things too. Just uttering ispassing that document to someone with the intent
to defraud. So if you madea counterfeit on hundred dollar bill, that
would be forgery. If you gavethat counterfeit bill to a convenience store in
exchange for groceries, that would beuttering. Wow. Oh what if you
(17:34):
didn't no classification? Like what ifyou were given one hundred dollar bill from
the bank and then well that you'renot the one creating that, you know
what I mean? Yeah about that? Yeah, okay, but if I
did know about it. Yeah,if any the one that knew that you
had a fog one hundred dollar billand then pass it to the grocery store
(17:55):
you know what I mean, tobuy groceries, then that would be uttering.
Okay, yeah, I mean alot. So please don't take this
as legal advice. Yeah right,I feel like you wouldn't like one has
to go with the other though.Yeah in that case, well, I
mean, you don't necessarily have tocounterfeit the bill. But if you knew,
like someone was, like a lotof people sell forgeries on the street
(18:17):
and they'll um, like they'll sellone hundred dollar bill for seventy five bucks,
it's not, or maybe twenty fiveor something like that, but they
use them that way. Son,I feel like that's so hard to do
now because a lot of a lotof like grocery stores and just stores in
general, they all have ways,even a machine to tell you whether it's
weird or not. And you alsodo have like the marker or like the
(18:41):
pen or whatever the fuck, whateverthe fuck it is. Yeah, it's
it's a pen. But I meanyou can still I'm they worked in retail
for a long time. You canstill come across some forged bills that will
pass the marker. Oh really,they will pass the marker. And it's
really upon you looking at like inthe light, at the bill, like
(19:03):
I've seen somewhere Ben Franklin was turnedthe other way. Like but but you
know what I mean, you wouldn'tnecessarily know that, like just looking at
it, he's facing the other way. It's not like reversed or anything.
He's just facing the other way.You wouldn't necessarily know that unless you went
through like specific training and knew whatyou were looking for. Like, yeah,
(19:25):
a lot of people do know whatto look for, but you'd still
be surprised. How many people don't. Is the story on YouTube that Steve
Wozniak has these two dollars bills printedand he like he has them printed by
a laser printer or someone that doesit. It's it's on YouTube. I
don't want to look it up rightnow. But he prints these money,
the two dollar bills and uses themas legal tender and it's legal. I
(19:52):
have no idea now, I mean, have to find it. What how
do you print legal tender and it'slegal? Like, how do you print
tender and it's legal? The factthat you've printed it and it's not coming
from the treasury is not legal.He also has stock and Apple, and
he probably has a ton of money, and they're just like, yeah,
do whatever you want. Fucking they'rerich people who are at it. Again,
(20:14):
that's okay. I don't understand becauseif anybody else did that, they'd
be in jail. They'd be inlike federal prison. Yeah, there's absolutely
nuts. Pads of two dollars bills. They smell the ink. Yeah,
you still smell the ink. They'refreshly printed. They're not are they well?
Hold on, He gets the suppliesfrom a higher quality printer, and
(20:34):
they meet the specs of the USgovernment these bills. And because they meet
the specs of the US government,I've looked it up. They are legal,
tender. I've been spending them forlike thirty years, and I don't
know if it's the right. Presidentwant to get ink on me, but
um no, it's great. AndI sell a sheet of four two dollars
bills for five dollars. Everywhere Igo, I sell lots of them.
(20:56):
And because it don't cost me eightdollars for a sheet and they're legal,
the Secret Service has approved them.I've had police called on me a number
of times. The Secret Service approvedthese bills three times. Two of the
times they actually saw the bills.I don't know why it's only two of
the times. And one time theyread me my Miranda rights. And when
they read me my Miranda rights,I should have brought it with me.
(21:18):
I used a fake idea that Imade from back when a personal computer could
not print a photo, could notprint photo quality unless you owned a real
expensive die sublimation printer to make backstagepasses at all. So I have this.
I have this, the ID thatI gave the Secret Service says Department
of Defense. But I respelled itdefiant so I could say it's a joke,
(21:40):
not a froug card. And itsays I'm a laser safety officer and
I have an eye patch in thepicture laser safety officer. That's what I
gave the Secret Service when they theyknew these bills were good, they tested
them with the pen. They'll passthe test, So you'll probably want these,
I know Steve has, but I'llleave a few sheets here. Oh
(22:00):
my god, look at you.And if you look at the serial number
of this top one here, itends, you know, two six five
two six five two six five.Um. But they're the legal tender,
the Secret Services in charge of counterfeitmoney. Real, Yeah, he wasn't
the act Prince's own money that isapproved by the Secret Service. Can we
(22:23):
start doing that so we can fundthings? That's the thing is, we
would never get away with that.You would have to have a printer that
was like that meets the standard andwhere do you I'd probably never get that,
probably like a million dollar machine.I don't know what's backing the money,
Like the money just doesn't come outof fucking thin air. There's you
(22:48):
would have to pay for it.That angers me. I'm not gonna that
angers me. It just reminds meof those videos on TikTok's like nothing,
Sorry, oh, I was justsaying it reminds me of the videos on
TikTok where it's like, you tellme you know something illegal that feels like
it it should be illegal, orI don't know, like stuff like that.
Yeah, I know what you're saying. Yeah, tell me something that's
(23:11):
perfectly legal that you should feel likeit should be basically within the law.
I mean, I get that printthe money and it's up to the standards
of the United States. I getwhat you're saying where it's not the yeah
back by the Feds. But ifit's printed and it meets the Secret Services
standard for printed money, then Ijust I guess my question then is what
(23:36):
are the standards Because just this printerin California can print this money. What's
to stop those are two dollar bills? What's to stop them from printing anything
else? And and how is thatdo they just like each bill? Does
each bill have like a different standard? I'm sure it does, because after
(23:57):
you know what I mean, likethe hunt the hundred dollar bills, when
they went from the green to thecolor on them and then the stripes.
And yeah, I'm sure they updatethe standards. The two dollar bill hasn't
been updated. That's probably why hecan get away with it, because they
don't change it and he has themoney that gives to get the stuff to
(24:18):
meet the standards. Trying to uncirculatethe two dollar bills. Yeah, they
haven't printed new ones. I don'tknow, Oh a long time. It's
been a long time. Just I'mthat really upsets me. Well, with
that, we'll go to cash forher. Fun fact. Hi everyone,
(24:48):
Hi oh hi, okay, SoI was asked to keep this about Florida.
So I have a couple of littlefacts about Florida. You know,
fun stuff. Right, So,the oldest inhabited city in the country resides
in Florida, really, m notVirginia. So forty one miles south of
(25:11):
Jacksonville, Saint Augustine stands as theoldest city in the US settled settled by
Spaniards in fifteen sixty five. That'sinteresting. Yeah, Christopher Columbius, who
who who is she? Who isshe? Don't know her, don't want
(25:32):
to know her. And then let'ssee. I also found out that Florida
has the longest coastline in the continentalUnited States, has a full eight hundred
and twenty five miles of accessible beaches. Yeah, okay, that makes sense
because I mean the whole basically,it just jetties out into the beach.
(25:56):
Florida is just a beach, Imean, and then you come in land
and it's swamps. Yeah yeah,right, yeah, quicksand swamps in Disney
World. In Disney it's just DisneyWorld in the middle. You maybe maybe
not for long. We'll see howthat saga plays out. I also have
one more Okay, okay, thesounds weird, okay, okay. Florida
(26:23):
has the lowest highest natural point,the lowest and the highest, you know,
the lowest highest, Okay, thelowest. So what are they oh
okay, so it's like at thelow end of the bar, So okay,
explain. In other words, ifyou stand on Britain Hill at three
(26:44):
hundred and forty five feet above sealevel, you're still at the lowest high
point of any other state. Oh. Interesting, So like something like I
think what they're saying is the highestpoint in Florida is only three hundred feet
above sea level. So it's thelowest highest, gotcha, Yeah, lowest
(27:06):
highest. I understand that logic.Actually, yeah, not the highest,
lowest below high, belowest highest.Yeah right, I get Yeah. Good,
I'm glad you comprehend. I do. Yeah, okay, all right,
well thanks for those fun facts.You're welcome. Thank that cast for
(27:37):
those fun facts. Yes, ofcourse, I am a wealth of very
very very dumb things. Oh,last time a two dollar bill was printed
was nineteen seventy six. Okay,wow, yes, it's been a long
time. I didn't know it wasthat long ago. By antennial? Od
(28:03):
it is, No, you're right, that's the bicentennial. Yeah, yeah,
I mean it is super old.Sorry, and I can say that
because I'm almost as old. It'sold two years older than you. Yeah,
that's kind of old. No,there's money circulating in this earth that
is older than I am by justa couple of years. That's weird.
(28:26):
That's weird. It's weird. Butyou're not old. Okay, Well,
I beg to differ. They findpennies from like the nineteen tons like all
of the time. Oh I know, no, I've seen them buffalo pennies
or what yeah, wheatpennies. Theweight I used to have a ship ton
of those the wheat pennies. Yeah, back when I thought that, you
know, I could collect old andrare coins and get rich. But you
(28:48):
know, it's really funny. Grammytrying to get me to collect coins.
So she gave me a bag oflike those wheatpennies and whatever nickels. It
was like, here, start yourcollection. The Indian head nickels, I
think. So, yeah, isn'tthat what they were called? No,
what did they called? Buffalo head? No, Indian head and buffalo nickels?
(29:11):
Buffalo nickels? What words the IndianIt wasn't there something called Indian head?
Did? I just completely make thatup? And that's wrong on very
various levels. Indian headpenny, yes, Indian headpenny and a buffalo nickel yeah,
something like that. Yeah. Shewanted me to collect coins for some
(29:33):
reason. Yeah, well because herand grandpa, like Grandpa collected coins.
Yeah. I'm not one with fallowingthrough with family tradition, so obviously,
I mean, yeah, but that'sokay. I just don't think that.
I don't know, I just don'tthink that, like you you have to
really put some like effort in goingin like trade coins, and it's not
(29:53):
just like as simple as like lookingin your wallet and be like, oh
my god, I have this cointhat's worth five that wasn't dollars. It's
it's just not that easy. ButI also think it's a generational thing.
Yeah, Like growing up, stampsand coins were yes, that generation for
grandparents, and like for me,it was comic books and baseball cards.
That's what's collectible to me. Imean there are still some, you know,
(30:17):
coins, but like I guess there'slike a generational thing. Like my
dad had you know, my dadhad stamp collection, and I'm just like
cool, yeah, thing. Iactually had some really cool stamps that we
got because Grandpa was into stamps andI got them. They were from World
War Two in Germany. They're reallycool to look at. They're not they're
(30:40):
not Nazi. I would not keepthat whatsoever. They were actually like from
people who were trying to send outletters like saying like shit's getting bad.
Yes, yeah, it's it's reallylike a cool little collection of them that
we got. Interesting. Yeah,I have the somewhere, But yeah,
(31:00):
I do think you're right, it'sprobably generational. I just like I could
never imagine collecting anything that seems weirdto me. I don't know. I
wanted to because Grandpa he would collectquarters for the fifty states, and I
wanted to, and so he gaveme some. But don't you have a
(31:21):
book or something that's not me?Somebody did? I think that was more?
Okay? Yeah, but I neverfinished it. Yeah, we could
finish it now, we could finishit in his honor. I mean with
Alex work. Yeah, they havefucking I don't even know. They have
brand new quarters with different states andold quarters. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
(31:47):
every time he brings home quarters.It's like they all have a different
state on them. Yeah. Andso right then and there, I you
probably could within like one one oneevening, just one trip. Yeah,
well yeah, mister worldwide. Yeah, let's going to Canadia. Canada.
(32:08):
Yeah, that place. I'm surprised. I can't use any of their Canadian
coins here, the loon or thetune. Yeah, I can't like transfer
them over to American money. Nobodywill take them. Why not even a
bank, it's just not I don'tI don't know how the bank told me
(32:30):
was that most places don't do itbecause it's like the Canadian coin, just
like it basically is zeroed out intoUSD that's just how the coin. Like
if somebody gave me a dollar billin Canadian, yeah, sure they can
do it. But for coin,they told me that, like it basically
costs zero dollars zero cents in American. I don't know. I don't know
(32:52):
if the teller was just bullshitting meor what, but that sounds like some
bullshit. No, because if adollar, if a Canadian dollar is like
eighty seven cents American, Yeah,like a coin would be nothing true the
exchange rate, Yeah, there's noequivalency. Sure they don't have pennies.
(33:15):
Yeah, they took those out.I didn't know that. Yeah, they
took it out. Because it's reallyweird too, because I'll like show up
with Canadian money and it'd be liketwelve dollars and ninety six cents and I'll
give them thirteen bucks and they'll justgive me like a nickelback or however much
five cents would be in Canada.Yeah, so one Canadian dollar is seventy
(33:36):
four cents American. So yeah,if you had like a dollar coin,
yeah yeah, I had no,I had no idea. I'm I mean,
I sound ignorant. But I've neverbeen to Canada, so I don't
know what their money is like.And let's go. I need to get
my passport, get your enhanced idea. Well, I need to get that
(33:59):
too too. Yeah, lots lotsof things to do. Okay, I
need in an identification card. Let'stake a train trip. I yeah,
someday I would love to do that. Wait you really? Yes? Oh,
I don't get to go anywhere.I don't do anything. I would
say, like maybe fly. Ifeel like flying would be better. I
(34:22):
don't do good with flying most ofthe time. The entire time, She'll
end up throwing up. Yeah.Fun, fun fact about me. I
get very air sick. Nobody cares. Um I care because I'm usually right
next to her while she's throwing up. That's not true, Yes it is,
No, it's not. Yes,one time when we went to Alaska,
(34:44):
you had a bag literally right nextto you, and you kept gagging
into your bag. Okay, Well, excuse me. I probably couldn't make
it to the bathroom. Okay,but your child can't handle throw up,
Well, then you should have satsomeplace. Yeah, let me just move
my seat on the plane. Excuseme. Ma'am, I need to move.
(35:05):
My mom is throwing out. Ican't I can't handle her. I
can't work under these conditions. Findme a new mom, Please, find
me a new mom. This one'sbroken. This one is like she's broken,
malfunctioning or something. There's an errorcode coming out, all right.
Next up, we have a storyfrom twenty seventeen about a man in Merritt
(35:28):
Island, Florida, who needed toget to Hooters. He needed those goddamn
chicken wings. Yes, the chickenwings is what he needed. Yes,
and nothing else right. So JonathanHinkle, aged twenty eight, instead got
a ride to the county jail.What's his last day? Hinkle? Hinkle,
(35:49):
make a Tinkle Hinkle? So ankleKerry Hinkle called nine one OH,
stating that his grandma was at therestaurant and had just had a stroke.
Oh, emergency services showed up andspent three hours looking for this elderly woman.
Come to find out she was notthere, but she was in a
(36:12):
different location, completely safe, andshe said she did not call for help
and she had not had a stroke. Oh. It came out that apparently
Hinkle told a dispatch worker that hewould pay the ambulance driver to take him
to the Hooters restaurant. Oh my, oh yes, why not just get
a fucking uber, right, youhave a fun I mean, in twenty
(36:32):
seventeen, Uber was the thing Iwas trying to think about this, right
it was. But you could geta taxi, you could ride the bus,
you could phone a friend, likethe fuck are you calling nine one
four? We needed to get therefast. Maybe there was like a deal
back then where it was like betweenthese specific hours. I don't know,
(36:52):
you get like half price wings.I don't know, I don't I just
wondered if you if you offered topay, then you should have known like
what was available that you could havecalled and said, hey, I would
like a ride, please come getme. I'll pay you. But no,
you you called nine one one freethat way, it's not free because
(37:14):
they're going to take you to jail. That's free too. Not so much.
There's some fines and some charges andthings that will happen. Now,
be choosers about your free rides.Come on, I sure, jail home,
Hooters all the same. Yeah,yeah, amen. Amen. So
Hinkle was arrested. Obviously. Hewas charged with misusing nine one one and
(37:37):
he was released on bond and somecommunity service. Was it at Hooters?
Yeah? Now he's picking up theletter outside of Hooters, right, He's
so close, He's so close.Our last story out of Florida is from
back in twenty fourteen, when aman and a woman called nine one one
(37:59):
to report that they are locked ina storage closet at Daytona State College.
The two reported that they had beenlocked in the closet for two days before
they called nine one one. Whatdid they try to handle? Well,
more to come on that. So, thirty one year old John Arwood and
twenty five year old Amber Campbell claimedthey were chased into the janitor's closet on
(38:21):
a Sunday and although they had acell phone handy, they did not reach
out for help until Tuesday. Whydo you think they probably be fucking drugs?
Are drugs? So when police showedup, Yeah, no, it
wasn't flocka this time. So policeshowed up to rescue the two, it
was realized that the door was unlockedthe entire time. Nice. Yeah,
(38:44):
they could have left at any pointand police found coppers scouring pads and paraphernalia
used to do meth and crack cocaine, along with smeared shit all over the
walls of the closet, which isironic because they could have cleaned that up
at any time, since it wasa janitor's closet. That was probably toilet
(39:04):
paper in the closet, cleaner,paper, towels, you know, a
bucket, sure, all sorts ofgood things that could have been more useful
than the wall in your hands.So the drugs were not found, likely
because they had all been done theentire time they were locked in this closet
for two days. I'm sure theywere using the drugs. The two face
(39:29):
charges of trespassing, but both observedlike they've had other run ins with the
law, and so it was inone of the articles. Amber had escaped
from a mental health facility two yearsprior in her brother's car, wrecked it
on the side of the road.Her and her friend then got out and
proceeded to walk, and when theywere found, she ran into a bush.
(39:54):
She was put on probation for thatincident and was still on probation when
this incident happened. Her boyfriend Johnhad been in jail five times since the
year two thousand, on charges rangingfrom armed burglary to possession of marijuana.
So damn, that's fucking crazy,but it makes so much sense. They're
(40:14):
a power couple. We probably are. Yeah, they're going to take the
fucking world of Florida by storm.Let's starting the storage closet. Yeah.
Yes, they probably started with alittle bit and they were like, oh
shit, since we're locked in here, we're now have to call for help.
Gotta eat it now, yeah,eat it, snored it whatever,
shut it out, you gotta getrid of it. They're smoking it with
(40:36):
the brillo pad or was it thecopper this copper like? Yeah, it
was copper like scouring pad. Yeah. Yeah, So that's a rap on
the Florida Fuckery episode Smeared ship onthe walls. Yay, you love that
for the person who hadn't cleaned it. Oh, I would have just taken
a hose and if that didn't work, we're burning it down. Yeah,
(40:58):
haven't burned the whole college down.Yeah? Have you have you guys seen
the movie Daddy Daycare a long timeago where Eddie Murphy, like where the
kid walks up to Eddie Murphy andhe just says, I missed and Eddie
Murphy's like, what what does thatmean? I missed? Like that must
be what the janitor felt like whenhe went into his storage closet and he
(41:20):
just sees it all over the ceilingand the walls, right, just smeared,
just smeared everywhere. I just drugsare really bad. You guys just
flee. Shrugs are really bad.They're really bad to make you, like
to for you to think that you'rein a locked closet for two days and
you're smearing shit on the wall,Like there's so many other things you could
(41:42):
be doing with your time. Ijust want to know, like what was
going on through their head to likehave them smear their ship on the wall.
BOSS don't know, Like did theythink there was something in them boot?
I don't know. Maybe they probablythought they were going to die and
they were leaving messages pictographs in thecloset. Oh my god, Oh my
(42:08):
god. All right, Well,we only have one more episode left in
the season, coming to you nextweek, so we'll see you back for
that. Thank you for listening.We'll be back next week. Bye bye
bye toodles.
What Happens in the Woods is atrue crime podcast. We discuss events that
are often violent in nature. Listeners, discretion is advised. Welcome to WTF
Wednesday, half an hour of truecrime stories is the finest fucker now Here
(00:20):
is your host Jess with true crimestories that'll make you say what the fuck.
Hello, dear friends, and welcome. You have found true crime podcast
What Happens in the Woods, andfortunately for you, you have found us
during the most beloved of times ourWTF series. We are going to share
(00:41):
stories from around the globe that leaveyou saying what the fuck? And let
me introduce you to the gang assembled. Today we have Olivia Hello, We
(01:04):
have Cass with the fun Facts.Oh hi hello, oh oh hi.
Hey there, and we have aspecial guest with us today, Olivia's boyfriend
(01:26):
Alec. Yeah. Hello, helloeveryone, and of course we have Price.
Hello. Hello. So this isthe highly anticipated episode of everything that
(01:47):
is Florida Fuckery. Yeah, justfor you, Olivia, let's go,
let's get started. Just something else. As an additional note, yes,
(02:15):
do tell us your fuckery. Iwill okay, thank you for asking.
Always a pleasure. Our first FloridaFuckery begins in Naples, Florida, just
a little over two weeks ago,where a man was able to roam freely
for nearly an hour in police headquarters. Just roaming around in the headquarters in
(02:37):
the late hours on a Saturday,Joseph Moulton, age thirty six, got
a little day drunk, had nothingbetter to do, decided to find out
what to what to do, andhe happened upon the police headquarters in Naples,
Florida. So Moulton was able tojump a fence and gain entry to
(02:57):
the building by way of a securitydoor, but not before hiding in a
patrol car and watching people like exitthe building. He then jumped behind some
bushes and there he found a wateringhose that he used to shove under a
different door than what he entered in, and he flooded a hallway with one
to two inches of water as onedoes, as one does. Right then
(03:20):
he went around found the security door. During his perusal of the headquarters,
he was able to really just youknow, let loose have some fun with
it. Some of what he didin the forty minutes in the building were
walked through. Some of the officesfound the men's locker room, decided to
take a shower. He then proceededto walk around the halls with only a
towel on. Oh, as onedoes when committing fuckery. Right, when
(03:45):
you're walking around after a shower,you walk around with a towel, right,
let let things dry. He thenfound the woman's bathroom and he took
a ship on the floor. Oh, absolute fucking unit. Right after that,
he decided he was searched around forsome clothing and a hat and then
wrap up the fun. At almostone am, an officer realized something was
(04:06):
off when he walked into the men'slocker room and found his duffel bag open,
kind of rifled through, and someof his things were missing, like
one of his uniforms. After searching, police were able to locate the man's
wallet, who had been in theheadquarters. He dropped his wallet in the
patrol car. Yeah, so theyknew exactly who they were looking for.
(04:30):
There was also some very interesting videofootage to come through. Around this time,
there was also a call reporting astrange man acting quote suspiciously while wearing
law enforcement clothing in quote at anext door seven to eleven convenience store.
Moulton was apprehended at six or fiveam after they tracked him down by way
of his ID and he has beencharged with felony accounts of burglary, grand
(04:54):
theft and he was released on thirtythousand dollars bail. There is a pending
court date coming up this month forthis gentleman just find outstanding Florida citizen.
Yeah, I'm just kind of curioushow you get drunk and end up not
really. I mean, he didn'tbreak in necessarily, he was able to
just get in the building. Butthere's nobody around, Like, there's nobody
(05:15):
around that sees this guy for almostan hour. I don't know if it's
like a substation or if it waslike the real like where they report for
work. I don't know. Imean it had locker rooms, I don't
know, because and it had gearbecause at one point he threw a radio
in the woman's toilet after he tooka shit on the floor. Over heah,
takes a shit on the floor andthen throws the radio in the toilet
(05:38):
in the toilet, right, littlereversed, little little backwards. Yeah,
yeah, it was. Yeah,that's a normal Tuesday. I mean,
is it in Florida? Sure?I mean, honestly, it's about sending
a message. It could have beenabout sending a message like I'm on your
property and I'm fucking with your shitand what are you going to do about
(05:59):
it? What are you going todo about it? Where this is a
cautionary tale about day drinker day drinking, but day drinking is a different kind
of drink. Yeah, well itis. Yes. Also I'm curious.
Was it like moonshine? Like whatwas it you were drinking? Sir?
Yeah, that at home beer.Yeah, he made it from scratch in
(06:25):
his basement. That good stuff.That good good. Yeah, you know,
to each his own. I preferon a Saturday night to go to
the casino. He he preferred togo to the jail, to the to
police headquarters, hang out, takea shot. Um. It was.
It was in the like after midnight, day drinking all day and then taking
(06:47):
a shower and then getting arrested upwhat one am? No, he was
arrested at six. They they wentto the seven eleven, couldn't find him,
and then tracked him down because hehad left his IDs. So they
started looking for you know, we'regoing to go to your home. They
were going to go to known places. Yeah, but yeah, he had
been day drinking and he I meanforty minutes in the building, but he
(07:10):
had been on the premises for awhile. It wasn't wasn't just you know,
because he was hiding in the patrolcar and then he was hiding in
bushes and he was seeing people goand he was watching, you know,
the logistics of oh, I'm goingto get in this building. And then
he proceeded to flood the building.And yeah, he was there, and
have you flood the building? Andthen nobody's like, oh, what's all
this water? Right? I mean, they didn't find that until after he
(07:34):
had already exited. It's just oddto me that. I mean, I
guess maybe on a Saturday it's SkeletonCrew. I don't know. Yeah,
yeah, it's just the powers ofday drinking. Sure, I don't know
he was able to get around thatbuilding with a towlon with nobody catching him.
(07:55):
Or maybe in a past life hewas a police officer and day drink
just knew. Day drinking was justthe way he remembered, I mean,
chalked his memory that moodshine hit.I mean, there was the one time
I went day drinking and I sawa fire extinguisher and extinguished my friends.
(08:16):
Okay, that's the power of daydrinking. Day drinking is odd. Yeah,
it's what happens. So when youhave fifteen mimosas, unlimited mimosas,
it's fantastic. Highly I mean,I guess we're lucky that that's all you
did, was still a fire extinguisher. It's a five hundred dollar fine,
(08:37):
it is, yeah that you remember. Yeah, I didn't get fined.
We kept it like as a memorial. Oh you know, safety safety first.
Oh no, it was used likeit was gone. Oh okay,
it was discharged. Day drinking isa different kind of drunk. It is.
(08:58):
Well, if anyone has any tales, do tell us. Yeah,
we'd love to know. Absolutely.You know, use in an alias,
it's fine, but please do tellus, all right. Our next story
is from twenty twenty where a Floridaman was caught doing something highly inappropriate public
library. No, my god,I mean you could use that as a
(09:22):
euphanism. So twenty six year oldTroy Joseph McCorvey was found by a security
guard watching some porn at the libraryon a public computer. I don't know
how you do that, though,because don't they have blocks on that stuff.
Usually they have firewall set Florida whereanything's possible. I'm just I'm highly
(09:43):
confused. He's twenty six. He'stwenty six years old. He had to
go to the public library to findporn. I met point. Just use
your imagination, my dude. Maybethat was the thrill of it, though,
is what I'm thinking. Maybe,you know, to be in the
public place and trying to get caught. Well, no, I almost feel
(10:03):
like you wanted to get caught becauseyou're you're you're in the library, like
people are going to find you.Oh yeah. But it's more the sense
of like you got to try tonot get caught, and if you get
caught, like, oh no,I have mixed feelings about it. Go
around. Yeah, I don't know. Of course, you know, when
(10:24):
you're watching porn by yourself, you'reyou're doing the do with yourself, so
to speak. So that is exactlywhat was going on. McCorvey was found
in front of a computer with hispants down and his penis and testicles exposed,
just in the library. Security officerimmediately told him, you know,
you've got to get out, You'vegot to leave their premises, directed him
(10:46):
to exit the building by way ofthe stairs. McCorvey refused and made a
run for the elevator. And thenthis turned into like a classic cartoon chase
scene between the two men, withthem going around evading each other, things
being like tossed in the direction sothat the officer would have to go around
(11:07):
or jump, And then they endedup at the elevator and mccorby went down.
The security guard ran down the stairsand met him in front of the
elevator as the doors opened. It. It was very stupid, so he
was caught let out of the building. However, he then took off into
some woods to hide out. Hewas then caught after the police were called
(11:28):
to the scene and a search wasdone of the woods. So don't hide
in the woods. If you're inthe library watching porn and jacking off,
stay out of the damn woods.So mccorby was charged with indecent exposure as
you would think, battery, andtwo counts of resisting without arrest without violence.
(11:50):
Anybody guess what his bond was?How much his bond was ten dollson
you're very close, Olivia, eightyfive thousand dollars. That to me either,
He has priors that they didn't list, or because it's the library.
(12:11):
I don't know, it could bepublic end or kids around. But yeah,
maybe he's done this before and theyare just like, don't do it
again. But they kept it likein the system. Maybe I thought that
was a huge like it again,don't do it again. Yeah, we
shame on you keep your willying yourpants. I mean he probably was like,
(12:33):
no, I'm not going to doit again. Like sorry, man
lesson learned. Yeah, I sawyou jacking off right there next to the
kids. This is your warden though, right, Oh my god. So
next step out of Okaloosa County.In twenty nineteen, sheriffs arrested a woman
who was bicycling down Highway ninety eighton Okaloosa I think I'm saying that right
(12:58):
Okaloosa Island. The woman was topless. I think I saw I think I
saw this, Okay, So Countysheriffs pulled up along her while riding her
bicycle in the center of the highway. They told her pull over, and
she replied, quote unquote, makeme accepted, right, So the sheriff
(13:22):
fulled out in front of her andstopped the car and her attempt to bypass
on the bike as the car cameto a stop, failed and she was
taken into custody. It was realizedthat thirty two year old Elizabeth Backs allegedly
shoplifted a pair of flip flops anda T shirt earlier in the evening.
But why was she topless? Right? So she thought if she ditched the
(13:46):
shirt that she wouldn't be connected tothe theft at Surfside Outfitters, So she
tossed it off the road and proceededon that trial down the highway. This
won't draw any attention, No,not at all. Right, they won't
suspect me. If steel won't suspectme of stealing the flip flops, everyone
distract aversion. I'll put the flipflops on my hand. It could also
(14:13):
be a hat. So she wasarrested and charged with petty theft in the
second degree and two counts of resistingan officer without violence. Our next story
is also from twenty nineteen. InBraden Tin, Florida, twenty six year
old Alexander Zane Heisl was spotted bydeputies walking in the roadway. There's a
(14:33):
lot of fucking chaos happening in theseroadways. People just be walking down the
middle of the fucking roads. Soof course, as you do, you
pull over and you come around andyou stop him and ask him what the
fuck he's doing. And when askedhis name, he gave his brother's name,
Nathan Heisl who's twenty three, inorder to avoid being arrested on a
(14:54):
warrant. Turns out his brother alsohad a warrant out for his arrest.
You're done fucked up. So thejig was up and Alexander was found out
after he was fingerprinted while being booked. I'm not sure what the brothers weren't
was for, but Alexander had twowarrants for dealing stolen property and uttering forged
(15:16):
instruments. I don't know what thatmeans, uttering forged instruments. Yeah,
isn't that weird. They then addedcharges for providing a false identification to law
enforcement. His brother Nathan then wentinto hiding and was not found for several
months. After this happened, monthsmonths, Yeah, went on the LAMB
(15:39):
classic. Yeah, it's crazy.I just I mean, you're also very
recognizable, Like there were certain tattoosand certain locations, Like there was facial
tattoos there was tattoos around the necklike the these are. I'm sure your
brother doesn't have identical tattoos in thesame places, so probably would have been
(16:00):
found. So uttering a forged instrumentis when you intentionally create a forged document
or financial instrument and circulate it intothe public. It can be a promissory
note, a check, a bill, or draft, or any other formal
document that would lead to the paymentof money to basically forger. So he
(16:21):
forged some checks. Yeah that's great, that's so that was so much.
Yeah, that make it sound somore informatic. Thank you. Yeah,
well, I think it instead ofjust maybe checks, but it encompasses like
counterfeit bills and oh it's a largeokay, yeah, what was the thing
again? Okay, uttering forged instrument, I'm not gonna lie. I thought
(16:42):
it was like he was making illegalweaponry. No, like he was just
making like knives, and like,I mean he had a he had a
like a sword, like a forageout in his backyard. I mean,
with that freaking title on a itcould have been anything. Yeah, any
legal lightsaber, he's legal it Okay, Okay, I mean that that.
(17:11):
I guess that adds like it workswith dealing with stolen property, like he's
forging things too. Just uttering ispassing that document to someone with the intent
to defraud. So if you madea counterfeit on hundred dollar bill, that
would be forgery. If you gavethat counterfeit bill to a convenience store in
exchange for groceries, that would beuttering. Wow. Oh what if you
(17:34):
didn't no classification? Like what ifyou were given one hundred dollar bill from
the bank and then well that you'renot the one creating that, you know
what I mean? Yeah about that? Yeah, okay, but if I
did know about it. Yeah,if any the one that knew that you
had a fog one hundred dollar billand then pass it to the grocery store
(17:55):
you know what I mean, tobuy groceries, then that would be uttering.
Okay, yeah, I mean alot. So please don't take this
as legal advice. Yeah right,I feel like you wouldn't like one has
to go with the other though.Yeah in that case, well, I
mean, you don't necessarily have tocounterfeit the bill. But if you knew,
like someone was, like a lotof people sell forgeries on the street
(18:17):
and they'll um, like they'll sellone hundred dollar bill for seventy five bucks,
it's not, or maybe twenty fiveor something like that, but they
use them that way. Son,I feel like that's so hard to do
now because a lot of a lotof like grocery stores and just stores in
general, they all have ways,even a machine to tell you whether it's
weird or not. And you alsodo have like the marker or like the
(18:41):
pen or whatever the fuck, whateverthe fuck it is. Yeah, it's
it's a pen. But I meanyou can still I'm they worked in retail
for a long time. You canstill come across some forged bills that will
pass the marker. Oh really,they will pass the marker. And it's
really upon you looking at like inthe light, at the bill, like
(19:03):
I've seen somewhere Ben Franklin was turnedthe other way. Like but but you
know what I mean, you wouldn'tnecessarily know that, like just looking at
it, he's facing the other way. It's not like reversed or anything.
He's just facing the other way.You wouldn't necessarily know that unless you went
through like specific training and knew whatyou were looking for. Like, yeah,
(19:25):
a lot of people do know whatto look for, but you'd still
be surprised. How many people don't. Is the story on YouTube that Steve
Wozniak has these two dollars bills printedand he like he has them printed by
a laser printer or someone that doesit. It's it's on YouTube. I
don't want to look it up rightnow. But he prints these money,
the two dollar bills and uses themas legal tender and it's legal. I
(19:52):
have no idea now, I mean, have to find it. What how
do you print legal tender and it'slegal? Like, how do you print
tender and it's legal? The factthat you've printed it and it's not coming
from the treasury is not legal.He also has stock and Apple, and
he probably has a ton of money, and they're just like, yeah,
do whatever you want. Fucking they'rerich people who are at it. Again,
(20:14):
that's okay. I don't understand becauseif anybody else did that, they'd
be in jail. They'd be inlike federal prison. Yeah, there's absolutely
nuts. Pads of two dollars bills. They smell the ink. Yeah,
you still smell the ink. They'refreshly printed. They're not are they well?
Hold on, He gets the suppliesfrom a higher quality printer, and
(20:34):
they meet the specs of the USgovernment these bills. And because they meet
the specs of the US government,I've looked it up. They are legal,
tender. I've been spending them forlike thirty years, and I don't
know if it's the right. Presidentwant to get ink on me, but
um no, it's great. AndI sell a sheet of four two dollars
bills for five dollars. Everywhere Igo, I sell lots of them.
(20:56):
And because it don't cost me eightdollars for a sheet and they're legal,
the Secret Service has approved them.I've had police called on me a number
of times. The Secret Service approvedthese bills three times. Two of the
times they actually saw the bills.I don't know why it's only two of
the times. And one time theyread me my Miranda rights. And when
they read me my Miranda rights,I should have brought it with me.
(21:18):
I used a fake idea that Imade from back when a personal computer could
not print a photo, could notprint photo quality unless you owned a real
expensive die sublimation printer to make backstagepasses at all. So I have this.
I have this, the ID thatI gave the Secret Service says Department
of Defense. But I respelled itdefiant so I could say it's a joke,
(21:40):
not a froug card. And itsays I'm a laser safety officer and
I have an eye patch in thepicture laser safety officer. That's what I
gave the Secret Service when they theyknew these bills were good, they tested
them with the pen. They'll passthe test, So you'll probably want these,
I know Steve has, but I'llleave a few sheets here. Oh
(22:00):
my god, look at you.And if you look at the serial number
of this top one here, itends, you know, two six five
two six five two six five.Um. But they're the legal tender,
the Secret Services in charge of counterfeitmoney. Real, Yeah, he wasn't
the act Prince's own money that isapproved by the Secret Service. Can we
(22:23):
start doing that so we can fundthings? That's the thing is, we
would never get away with that.You would have to have a printer that
was like that meets the standard andwhere do you I'd probably never get that,
probably like a million dollar machine.I don't know what's backing the money,
Like the money just doesn't come outof fucking thin air. There's you
(22:48):
would have to pay for it.That angers me. I'm not gonna that
angers me. It just reminds meof those videos on TikTok's like nothing,
Sorry, oh, I was justsaying it reminds me of the videos on
TikTok where it's like, you tellme you know something illegal that feels like
it it should be illegal, orI don't know, like stuff like that.
Yeah, I know what you're saying. Yeah, tell me something that's
(23:11):
perfectly legal that you should feel likeit should be basically within the law.
I mean, I get that printthe money and it's up to the standards
of the United States. I getwhat you're saying where it's not the yeah
back by the Feds. But ifit's printed and it meets the Secret Services
standard for printed money, then Ijust I guess my question then is what
(23:36):
are the standards Because just this printerin California can print this money. What's
to stop those are two dollar bills? What's to stop them from printing anything
else? And and how is thatdo they just like each bill? Does
each bill have like a different standard? I'm sure it does, because after
(23:57):
you know what I mean, likethe hunt the hundred dollar bills, when
they went from the green to thecolor on them and then the stripes.
And yeah, I'm sure they updatethe standards. The two dollar bill hasn't
been updated. That's probably why hecan get away with it, because they
don't change it and he has themoney that gives to get the stuff to
(24:18):
meet the standards. Trying to uncirculatethe two dollar bills. Yeah, they
haven't printed new ones. I don'tknow, Oh a long time. It's
been a long time. Just I'mthat really upsets me. Well, with
that, we'll go to cash forher. Fun fact. Hi everyone,
(24:48):
Hi oh hi, okay, SoI was asked to keep this about Florida.
So I have a couple of littlefacts about Florida. You know,
fun stuff. Right, So,the oldest inhabited city in the country resides
in Florida, really, m notVirginia. So forty one miles south of
(25:11):
Jacksonville, Saint Augustine stands as theoldest city in the US settled settled by
Spaniards in fifteen sixty five. That'sinteresting. Yeah, Christopher Columbius, who
who who is she? Who isshe? Don't know her, don't want
(25:32):
to know her. And then let'ssee. I also found out that Florida
has the longest coastline in the continentalUnited States, has a full eight hundred
and twenty five miles of accessible beaches. Yeah, okay, that makes sense
because I mean the whole basically,it just jetties out into the beach.
(25:56):
Florida is just a beach, Imean, and then you come in land
and it's swamps. Yeah yeah,right, yeah, quicksand swamps in Disney
World. In Disney it's just DisneyWorld in the middle. You maybe maybe
not for long. We'll see howthat saga plays out. I also have
one more Okay, okay, thesounds weird, okay, okay. Florida
(26:23):
has the lowest highest natural point,the lowest and the highest, you know,
the lowest highest, Okay, thelowest. So what are they oh
okay, so it's like at thelow end of the bar, So okay,
explain. In other words, ifyou stand on Britain Hill at three
(26:44):
hundred and forty five feet above sealevel, you're still at the lowest high
point of any other state. Oh. Interesting, So like something like I
think what they're saying is the highestpoint in Florida is only three hundred feet
above sea level. So it's thelowest highest, gotcha, Yeah, lowest
(27:06):
highest. I understand that logic.Actually, yeah, not the highest,
lowest below high, belowest highest.Yeah right, I get Yeah. Good,
I'm glad you comprehend. I do. Yeah, okay, all right,
well thanks for those fun facts.You're welcome. Thank that cast for
(27:37):
those fun facts. Yes, ofcourse, I am a wealth of very
very very dumb things. Oh,last time a two dollar bill was printed
was nineteen seventy six. Okay,wow, yes, it's been a long
time. I didn't know it wasthat long ago. By antennial? Od
(28:03):
it is, No, you're right, that's the bicentennial. Yeah, yeah,
I mean it is super old.Sorry, and I can say that
because I'm almost as old. It'sold two years older than you. Yeah,
that's kind of old. No,there's money circulating in this earth that
is older than I am by justa couple of years. That's weird.
(28:26):
That's weird. It's weird. Butyou're not old. Okay, Well,
I beg to differ. They findpennies from like the nineteen tons like all
of the time. Oh I know, no, I've seen them buffalo pennies
or what yeah, wheatpennies. Theweight I used to have a ship ton
of those the wheat pennies. Yeah, back when I thought that, you
know, I could collect old andrare coins and get rich. But you
(28:48):
know, it's really funny. Grammytrying to get me to collect coins.
So she gave me a bag oflike those wheatpennies and whatever nickels. It
was like, here, start yourcollection. The Indian head nickels, I
think. So, yeah, isn'tthat what they were called? No,
what did they called? Buffalo head? No, Indian head and buffalo nickels?
(29:11):
Buffalo nickels? What words the IndianIt wasn't there something called Indian head?
Did? I just completely make thatup? And that's wrong on very
various levels. Indian headpenny, yes, Indian headpenny and a buffalo nickel yeah,
something like that. Yeah. Shewanted me to collect coins for some
(29:33):
reason. Yeah, well because herand grandpa, like Grandpa collected coins.
Yeah. I'm not one with fallowingthrough with family tradition, so obviously,
I mean, yeah, but that'sokay. I just don't think that.
I don't know, I just don'tthink that, like you you have to
really put some like effort in goingin like trade coins, and it's not
(29:53):
just like as simple as like lookingin your wallet and be like, oh
my god, I have this cointhat's worth five that wasn't dollars. It's
it's just not that easy. ButI also think it's a generational thing.
Yeah, Like growing up, stampsand coins were yes, that generation for
grandparents, and like for me,it was comic books and baseball cards.
That's what's collectible to me. Imean there are still some, you know,
(30:17):
coins, but like I guess there'slike a generational thing. Like my
dad had you know, my dadhad stamp collection, and I'm just like
cool, yeah, thing. Iactually had some really cool stamps that we
got because Grandpa was into stamps andI got them. They were from World
War Two in Germany. They're reallycool to look at. They're not they're
(30:40):
not Nazi. I would not keepthat whatsoever. They were actually like from
people who were trying to send outletters like saying like shit's getting bad.
Yes, yeah, it's it's reallylike a cool little collection of them that
we got. Interesting. Yeah,I have the somewhere, But yeah,
(31:00):
I do think you're right, it'sprobably generational. I just like I could
never imagine collecting anything that seems weirdto me. I don't know. I
wanted to because Grandpa he would collectquarters for the fifty states, and I
wanted to, and so he gaveme some. But don't you have a
(31:21):
book or something that's not me?Somebody did? I think that was more?
Okay? Yeah, but I neverfinished it. Yeah, we could
finish it now, we could finishit in his honor. I mean with
Alex work. Yeah, they havefucking I don't even know. They have
brand new quarters with different states andold quarters. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
(31:47):
every time he brings home quarters.It's like they all have a different
state on them. Yeah. Andso right then and there, I you
probably could within like one one oneevening, just one trip. Yeah,
well yeah, mister worldwide. Yeah, let's going to Canadia. Canada.
(32:08):
Yeah, that place. I'm surprised. I can't use any of their Canadian
coins here, the loon or thetune. Yeah, I can't like transfer
them over to American money. Nobodywill take them. Why not even a
bank, it's just not I don'tI don't know how the bank told me
(32:30):
was that most places don't do itbecause it's like the Canadian coin, just
like it basically is zeroed out intoUSD that's just how the coin. Like
if somebody gave me a dollar billin Canadian, yeah, sure they can
do it. But for coin,they told me that, like it basically
costs zero dollars zero cents in American. I don't know. I don't know
(32:52):
if the teller was just bullshitting meor what, but that sounds like some
bullshit. No, because if adollar, if a Canadian dollar is like
eighty seven cents American, Yeah,like a coin would be nothing true the
exchange rate, Yeah, there's noequivalency. Sure they don't have pennies.
(33:15):
Yeah, they took those out.I didn't know that. Yeah, they
took it out. Because it's reallyweird too, because I'll like show up
with Canadian money and it'd be liketwelve dollars and ninety six cents and I'll
give them thirteen bucks and they'll justgive me like a nickelback or however much
five cents would be in Canada.Yeah, so one Canadian dollar is seventy
(33:36):
four cents American. So yeah,if you had like a dollar coin,
yeah yeah, I had no,I had no idea. I'm I mean,
I sound ignorant. But I've neverbeen to Canada, so I don't
know what their money is like.And let's go. I need to get
my passport, get your enhanced idea. Well, I need to get that
(33:59):
too too. Yeah, lots lotsof things to do. Okay, I
need in an identification card. Let'stake a train trip. I yeah,
someday I would love to do that. Wait you really? Yes? Oh,
I don't get to go anywhere.I don't do anything. I would
say, like maybe fly. Ifeel like flying would be better. I
(34:22):
don't do good with flying most ofthe time. The entire time, She'll
end up throwing up. Yeah.Fun, fun fact about me. I
get very air sick. Nobody cares. Um I care because I'm usually right
next to her while she's throwing up. That's not true, Yes it is,
No, it's not. Yes,one time when we went to Alaska,
(34:44):
you had a bag literally right nextto you, and you kept gagging
into your bag. Okay, Well, excuse me. I probably couldn't make
it to the bathroom. Okay,but your child can't handle throw up,
Well, then you should have satsomeplace. Yeah, let me just move
my seat on the plane. Excuseme. Ma'am, I need to move.
(35:05):
My mom is throwing out. Ican't I can't handle her. I
can't work under these conditions. Findme a new mom, Please, find
me a new mom. This one'sbroken. This one is like she's broken,
malfunctioning or something. There's an errorcode coming out, all right.
Next up, we have a storyfrom twenty seventeen about a man in Merritt
(35:28):
Island, Florida, who needed toget to Hooters. He needed those goddamn
chicken wings. Yes, the chickenwings is what he needed. Yes,
and nothing else right. So JonathanHinkle, aged twenty eight, instead got
a ride to the county jail.What's his last day? Hinkle? Hinkle,
(35:49):
make a Tinkle Hinkle? So ankleKerry Hinkle called nine one OH,
stating that his grandma was at therestaurant and had just had a stroke.
Oh, emergency services showed up andspent three hours looking for this elderly woman.
Come to find out she was notthere, but she was in a
(36:12):
different location, completely safe, andshe said she did not call for help
and she had not had a stroke. Oh. It came out that apparently
Hinkle told a dispatch worker that hewould pay the ambulance driver to take him
to the Hooters restaurant. Oh my, oh yes, why not just get
a fucking uber, right, youhave a fun I mean, in twenty
(36:32):
seventeen, Uber was the thing Iwas trying to think about this, right
it was. But you could geta taxi, you could ride the bus,
you could phone a friend, likethe fuck are you calling nine one
four? We needed to get therefast. Maybe there was like a deal
back then where it was like betweenthese specific hours. I don't know,
(36:52):
you get like half price wings.I don't know, I don't I just
wondered if you if you offered topay, then you should have known like
what was available that you could havecalled and said, hey, I would
like a ride, please come getme. I'll pay you. But no,
you you called nine one one freethat way, it's not free because
(37:14):
they're going to take you to jail. That's free too. Not so much.
There's some fines and some charges andthings that will happen. Now,
be choosers about your free rides.Come on, I sure, jail home,
Hooters all the same. Yeah,yeah, amen. Amen. So
Hinkle was arrested. Obviously. Hewas charged with misusing nine one one and
(37:37):
he was released on bond and somecommunity service. Was it at Hooters?
Yeah? Now he's picking up theletter outside of Hooters, right, He's
so close, He's so close.Our last story out of Florida is from
back in twenty fourteen, when aman and a woman called nine one one
(37:59):
to report that they are locked ina storage closet at Daytona State College.
The two reported that they had beenlocked in the closet for two days before
they called nine one one. Whatdid they try to handle? Well,
more to come on that. So, thirty one year old John Arwood and
twenty five year old Amber Campbell claimedthey were chased into the janitor's closet on
(38:21):
a Sunday and although they had acell phone handy, they did not reach
out for help until Tuesday. Whydo you think they probably be fucking drugs?
Are drugs? So when police showedup, Yeah, no, it
wasn't flocka this time. So policeshowed up to rescue the two, it
was realized that the door was unlockedthe entire time. Nice. Yeah,
(38:44):
they could have left at any pointand police found coppers scouring pads and paraphernalia
used to do meth and crack cocaine, along with smeared shit all over the
walls of the closet, which isironic because they could have cleaned that up
at any time, since it wasa janitor's closet. That was probably toilet
(39:04):
paper in the closet, cleaner,paper, towels, you know, a
bucket, sure, all sorts ofgood things that could have been more useful
than the wall in your hands.So the drugs were not found, likely
because they had all been done theentire time they were locked in this closet
for two days. I'm sure theywere using the drugs. The two face
(39:29):
charges of trespassing, but both observedlike they've had other run ins with the
law, and so it was inone of the articles. Amber had escaped
from a mental health facility two yearsprior in her brother's car, wrecked it
on the side of the road.Her and her friend then got out and
proceeded to walk, and when theywere found, she ran into a bush.
(39:54):
She was put on probation for thatincident and was still on probation when
this incident happened. Her boyfriend Johnhad been in jail five times since the
year two thousand, on charges rangingfrom armed burglary to possession of marijuana.
So damn, that's fucking crazy,but it makes so much sense. They're
(40:14):
a power couple. We probably are. Yeah, they're going to take the
fucking world of Florida by storm.Let's starting the storage closet. Yeah.
Yes, they probably started with alittle bit and they were like, oh
shit, since we're locked in here, we're now have to call for help.
Gotta eat it now, yeah,eat it, snored it whatever,
shut it out, you gotta getrid of it. They're smoking it with
(40:36):
the brillo pad or was it thecopper this copper like? Yeah, it
was copper like scouring pad. Yeah. Yeah, So that's a rap on
the Florida Fuckery episode Smeared ship onthe walls. Yay, you love that
for the person who hadn't cleaned it. Oh, I would have just taken
a hose and if that didn't work, we're burning it down. Yeah,
(40:58):
haven't burned the whole college down.Yeah? Have you have you guys seen
the movie Daddy Daycare a long timeago where Eddie Murphy, like where the
kid walks up to Eddie Murphy andhe just says, I missed and Eddie
Murphy's like, what what does thatmean? I missed? Like that must
be what the janitor felt like whenhe went into his storage closet and he
(41:20):
just sees it all over the ceilingand the walls, right, just smeared,
just smeared everywhere. I just drugsare really bad. You guys just
flee. Shrugs are really bad.They're really bad to make you, like
to for you to think that you'rein a locked closet for two days and
you're smearing shit on the wall,Like there's so many other things you could
(41:42):
be doing with your time. Ijust want to know, like what was
going on through their head to likehave them smear their ship on the wall.
BOSS don't know, Like did theythink there was something in them boot?
I don't know. Maybe they probablythought they were going to die and
they were leaving messages pictographs in thecloset. Oh my god, Oh my
(42:08):
god. All right, Well,we only have one more episode left in
the season, coming to you nextweek, so we'll see you back for
that. Thank you for listening.We'll be back next week. Bye bye
bye toodles.
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