September 29, 2025 • 60 mins
When you're interested in exploring your gender expression, it can be tricky to figure out how to find a feminization Mistress. You're luck, Mistress Harper has tips!
Whore School is your adult sex education, with no shame, fear, or guilt! It's time for you to bet the education you deserve.
Whore School is your adult sex education, with no shame, fear, or guilt! It's time for you to bet the education you deserve.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
When you hear the chime, that's when you know the show is on and that was the chime.
(00:12):
Whore School is live adult sex education aimed at creating better adult human beings in
the world.
I have made it my life's goal to combat ignorance.
(00:36):
You know, for reasons.
So Whore School is adult sex education aimed at grown folks who would like to become better
educated about the world and stuff that's going on in it.
If you are listening to the live show, please head to communitykink.com.
That's the chat room.
(00:57):
It's open.
Right as I pressed start on the show, I dropped something on the floor too.
That's the sound of me doing an awkward reach down to pick up something that I dropped
(01:18):
on the floor.
Oh goodness.
Kelly says having trouble with the podcast, I'm not having trouble with the podcast.
I hope you can hear me.
Please don't make me have to put on sound monitoring.
I hate having to do that.
There's a slight delay and it drives me crazy.
(01:39):
You can always tell when I'm typing, one, you can hear it.
And two, I stop talking.
I can't type and talk at the same time.
I know terrible, right?
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It's the worst.
At least that's how you know that when you call, right, and talk to me, I'm definitely
not doing two sessions at the same time, like one by voice and one by text because I can't
the number of times I've been trying to like type something while saying something else
(02:22):
out loud and I just wind up typing a transcript of whatever it is that I'm saying.
My life is fun.
If you are listening to the live show, head to communitykink.com.
The chat room is open.
I've been joined tonight by Ms. Kylie Gable and Patty, who I notice is no longer Patty
(02:43):
the sissy.
I see how it is.
That's fine.
That's fine.
We are going to talk about a sissification and feminization topic tonight.
What are we discussing?
Ooh, I'm so glad you asked.
How to find a feminization mistress?
Oh, yeah.
I recently wrote and as recently I wrote it yesterday and it was published today.
(03:09):
A new blog post for the sissyville blog.
Oh, one word, sissyville, s-i-s-s-y, v-i-l-l-e, sissyville.
Go to sissyville.
There's tons of stuff on there.
So I've already written about how to find a feminization mistress.
You're welcome.
And if you read that faster than I can talk, then you'll know what I'm going to tell you.
(03:38):
Ms. Addy has joined us in the chat room and Patty says that she is maybe trying to distance
from that label a little bit to not box herself into a corner.
That's fair.
It's your name.
Call yourself what you want to.
You don't have to apply a label.
And yeah, it can feel a little bit limiting sometimes, can't it?
(04:02):
To put a label onto yourself and then everybody thinks, well, that's just what you are.
We are way more dimensional than that.
Okay.
So four people in this world who have just decided that, hey, maybe I would like to explore
(04:22):
my gender presentation a little bit.
And they're wondering how in the heckin poopy do I find someone to help me do that.
Womp, womp.
It's real fucking difficult.
Last week's show was about basically how to behave matters when you're in the kinky community,
(04:49):
when you're out in the world.
Basically, you know, don't be too much of a spaz.
It's applicable for people who decide that they want to find a feminization mistress.
When you go to a BDSM or kink event, not everyone who is there is there to be an NPC in your
(05:14):
sexual fantasy.
They are human beings with their own needs, wants and desires and they may or may not
be open to helping you get your needs met.
So be nice.
Be nice to people.
Those are human beings.
I know everybody's social skills are a little bit atrophied nowadays, but you know, stretch.
(05:41):
So my first bit of advice for you are interested in finding someone to play with, to explore
your desires.
Fabulous.
What are your desires?
Like you should ask yourself that, what do you really want?
(06:03):
What do you want?
What do you need?
What do you yearn for?
Like, what?
What do you want?
The more specific you can be when you answer that question, the better off you will be
in the long run.
Without specific answers, it's really hard to find a specific person when you can't tell
(06:26):
me what you're looking for.
You need to be able, ideally, to boil down what you're looking for into like an elevator
pitch, three to five simple statements about what you want.
(06:51):
Get it clear.
Get clear with yourself first and then work on the verbiage to be able to communicate
to somebody else.
What do you fucking want?
An awful lot of people in the kink community.
Trust me, I've been in the kink community for a while now.
(07:12):
When you go to a party as a femdom, if there is a male submissive who's never done this
shit before, I guarantee we can clock you.
We know that you're there because you're staring at us.
Like, we can tell.
And the sheer volume of times I've had somebody who stares eventually manages to
(07:38):
work up the nerve to come over and ask if I might be interested in playing with them.
Very sweet, very good.
Okay, sure.
Yes.
What are you looking for?
And then they go, uh, because they can't answer that question.
What do you want?
(08:00):
Is it choice paralysis that causes them to go blue screen of death?
Or is it that they just, they want everything.
They want all of the things I want this, this, this, this, this.
I want all of it.
Yes, all it wants.
Patty said, I've never even been to a party.
(08:26):
Somehow feel called out.
It's like looking into your potential future.
Well now you know, and I'm going to tell you how to avoid this.
So step number one, do not tell a femdom or a mistress that you are into and I quote "anything"
(08:49):
because you are not, you're not into "anything".
You're not that open, especially if you've never done this before, you're, you're not ready
for exactly how far down I can take you.
You're not ready for "anything".
You have some very specific fantasies and fetish checkpoints that you expect to hit.
(09:14):
"Anything"?
No, no, you're not into "anything".
And if you are, you've probably been involved in the community for a while and can start
listing all of all of the things that you're into, which is the opposite of the problem.
You want too much.
(09:38):
So don't just say, well, I just, I just want to serve.
A submissive who tells a femdom that the only thing they're interested in is just, I just
really want to serve.
I just want to serve you, mistress.
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I just wanted, I just want to be yours.
I just want to, yeah, I just want to serve.
That's right up there with the guy who tells his wife that, well, you know, I'll do anything.
You just got to give me a list.
Like in regards to chores around the house, you just, you just have to tell me what to do
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and I'll do it.
That's, that's not helpful.
You have outsourced the mental load for your sexual fantasy on to somebody else.
How fucking lazy are you that you can't come up with three things that you're into.
I would like to experience instead.
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It's, oh, I just want to serve anything, mistress.
Uh huh.
Great.
So I have to think it up.
I have to think up your sexual fantasy for you too.
I have to think it up and then I have to deliver it.
And then if you doesn't meet your desires, you're just going to what?
Cry about it, but somehow blame me for it.
(11:02):
You.
Oh, anyway.
He said technically the answer is that is that I am indeed pretty lazy.
It's very self-aware.
I just like to call it out because as a professional, I run into that quite a bit.
(11:27):
I just want to serve is make a list of chores for me to do.
You live here.
Make your own fucking list.
It's your sexual fantasy.
Come on, fucking communicate.
Jesus fucking Christ.
It's not difficult.
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Like seriously, three to five things.
At most, like more than five is a little bit excessive, but at least like two, come on.
Like a concept of something you would like to experience.
Whatever it is, like some random thought that makes you go, woo, horny, like that.
(12:08):
That's what you have to be able to communicate.
So if as a sissy interested in exploring whatever the fuck being a sissy means to you, if
you're into you want somebody to tell you what to wear, to feminize you, and to tell you
(12:31):
to go suck a dick.
That's three things.
So dressed, feminized, cock sucking.
Great.
I can build an amazing fantasy around those three concepts.
Abs-o-fucking-lutely.
(12:52):
Yes, let's go.
I can work with that.
If you have something even more specific in mind or something that you need or want out
of your experience, fucking speak up, dude.
So if what you really want is a specific type of panties, mention them, say them, say
(13:18):
that full coverage, high leg, pink lace panties.
Okay, great.
Plenty of detail.
Love that.
Love that, darling.
Yes.
Like if that is the specific thing that you need in your fantasy, you have to be able to
(13:41):
say it out loud to another living human being.
Otherwise you will not get the specific thing.
You cannot expect anybody, whether this is in face to face interactions or over the internet
or phone, nobody else, we're not mind readers.
Like we're good.
(14:01):
I can make a very reasonable guess about what kinds of scenarios you might like.
You tell me cock sucking and feminization and I'm immediately like, oh, yeah.
Somebody is going to use your big tails like handlebars.
Like, you know, I can come to some reasonable conclusions about how what the general shape
(14:25):
of this fantasy is going to be.
But if you have something extremely specific in mind, you got to say it.
You have to say it out loud.
Say, and then here's Patty in the chat says, being able to say what I'm looking for is a
recent skill I'm developing.
And the next step is being able to say it to another person in real life.
(14:49):
Yeah, that's the tricky bit because it is embarrassing.
It's so super embarrassing.
Which is why so knowing first knowing just for yourself an awareness in and of yourself
of what you want.
That's step number one.
Step number two is communicating that.
(15:15):
So you've done some introspection.
You have looked at your masterbation fantasies.
You've looked at your porn history and you've gone, ah, there's some themes.
And here, apparently, this is what works for me.
And you've distilled that down to roughly three things.
(15:36):
Three major motifs in your masterbatory fantasies that you always works.
It's a tried and true.
You always go back to those those three things that always works for you.
So great.
You know your things.
When you reach out to somebody to ask them to pretty, pretty, please help you out with whatever
(16:05):
it is that your scenario may happen to be.
Do not open with the triple X rated extreme descriptions.
Don't open with that.
Do not walk up to a woman at a kink event and tell her, hi, I would love to have you strip
(16:32):
me naked, grease me up with mineral oil, dress me like a sissy Lolita and then bend me
over and fuck me with a giant strap on to make my asshole gabe and call me a pussy bitch
while you spank me.
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Don't open with that.
Don't start with the triple X.
Don't like dear God, at least say hello first.
"But if it's coconut oil instead of mineral oil, that's an okay opener, right?"
(17:17):
Yeah, that's what makes it acceptable.
Less likely to stain.
It's still going to stain though.
Um, girl.
You want to start with a kind of a PG 13 testing.
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So if you really, really, really want to email me with your extremely explicit fantasy,
you can, I wish you wouldn't, I wish that you would treat me like I'm a person first and
a sex vending machine later.
Like at least open with, hi, I found you on wherever, I know I listened to Whore School, I found
(18:10):
your blog, I saw that post on sissyville and thought, hey, I should reach out.
I'm interested in exploring, and this is where you insert your three things.
I'm interested in exploring, cock sucking, cross-dressing and feminization.
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Would you be interested in doing this with me?
And then I will respond back with yes, absolutely.
That sounds wonderful.
I'm so glad you found me.
It's always fun to meet a fan.
Can you tell me more about whatever your fantasy is because now I'm interested.
That's your cue.
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That's your cue.
Then tell me the triple X extreme details of your fantasy, especially if those details
are important.
Don't open with that.
Unless it really, really, really, really is a deal breaker and then just be fucking succinct.
(19:24):
And I'll tell you why I want you to be succinct.
Kylie said, I just found out I need to find my own panties because the one she picked wouldn't
work for me.
This is too much pressure.
It is.
It's too much pressure to have to locate your own underwear.
It's terrible.
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That's so mean.
Awful.
So why should you be succinct before whatever it is?
So you walk up to somebody at a party, right?
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Do not open with your entire masturbatory fantasy.
Don't start with that.
Start short and it's because and this is the same thing.
If you email one of the mistresses, you email me with the entire scenario.
(20:28):
I got that's your cold open is the triple X and you just went, you went for it.
I'm going to assume you were jerking off when you wrote that.
And if you walk up to me at a party and immediately open with, here's my entire fantasy.
Oh yeah.
(20:49):
You're getting off on it like the act of exposing yourself like this and straight up saying
that is part of what is turning you on.
I have not yet consented to being part of your masturbatory fantasy.
It's icky.
And this is coming from me, a professional.
(21:12):
I am used to people making me part of their masturbatory fantasies.
I get paid for that.
Now doing that without paying me?
Without making sure ahead of time that that's okay.
(21:35):
How horny are you?
Like damn.
But when you go to like a party or an event, even if it's aimed at whatever it is that your
fantasy is, if you go to a cross-dressing event and there's a bunch of women there who
are like yes, I love to put men into panties because I think it's hot and it's a lot of fun.
(21:58):
Right?
Even then, until you have established some sort of a relationship with those women, you
cannot just automatically assume that they're an NPC there to fulfill whatever your fucking
sexual desires are.
You have to talk to people.
First, before you dive directly into whatever your fantasy may happen to be.
(22:32):
You gotta talk to people, dude.
Honest, women are not scary.
Like we're relatively easy to speak with most of the time.
Patty says, "I'm in too joking of a mood tonight."
Now we like jokes.
Have you met me?
I have also fucking time.
(22:54):
Jokes are good.
Okay, so, know what you want.
Use your fucking common sense when interacting with adult human women that you would like
(23:19):
to convince to play along with you in your fantasies.
So what kinds of things can you get from a feminization mistress?
Skies the limit bud.
(23:41):
Whatever it is that just crossed your mind that you're like, "Ooh, I'd like whatever that
was."
Yeah, you can find somebody who's into that.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that just because a person happens to be a woman, that
we're not also fucking kinky perverts.
(24:05):
Women are not that different from men.
Men get horny.
Hey, so do women.
Men have elaborate sexual fantasies?
So do women.
There's nothing about your sexual fantasy that is completely off the table.
(24:28):
Okay, I can think of a few things that are completely off the table, but we don't talk about
those things, so we're just talking about some feminization and specification over here.
It might.
Penny said, "Did you say to assume women are or aren't kinky perverts?"
(24:54):
I mean, you could pretty well assume that all human beings definitely are kinky.
Perverts.
Like, the vast majority of human beings are pretty horny on main.
(25:18):
Sometimes we run into this.
Men who are into feminization make the mistake of assuming that all the women around them
would not be into that.
When the reality is, a fair chunk of women would actually be into that.
(25:40):
Would enjoy helping you with your feminization.
But you'll never know because they don't ask.
Yeah, and she said, "That would mean a lot of people are quite frustrated, repressing their
kinkiness."
(26:01):
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
She said, "Huh, wonder why society is like that."
Do not get me off on that topic again.
Because I will, "Oh, oh, that's like catnip in front of a cat."
(26:22):
I'm like, "Ooh, Puritans?"
It's Puritans.
It's fucking Puritans again.
Oh, good.
See, Patty, and I don't walk around thinking about every person I see.
Like, I wonder if they would like the sexual thing I'm into.
Most people don't.
(26:42):
Most of the time, the vast majority of people around you, I hope that you're not thinking
about the sexual way.
Kylie said, "You know who makes a lot of sense to me lately?
John Calvin."
Boo.
Fuck John Calvin.
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And that's all.
Patties said, "I literally just said I don't."
I know.
Most people don't.
Most people do not think about other people sexually.
Kylie said, "He's the one with the imaginary tiger, right?
It's Calvin and Hobbs, the tiger."
(27:26):
And I love the fact that it's, yeah.
Anyways, I'm not going to discuss the philosophy of Calvin and Hobbs, the comic strip.
Girl?
Ooh, that's a good one.
That's a good distraction.
I almost took it.
I almost took the bait.
(27:47):
But see, like, Patty, you don't think about the sexual lives of most of the people around
you.
But an awful lot of people make the mistake of when they do think about the sexual lives
of especially the people that are in their life, right?
(28:09):
So men who think about what their wife or girlfriend might be interested in sexually, they
make the mistake of thinking that their wife, their girlfriend, would never be into.
Whatever it is that they're into, feminization, cross-dressing, cuckolding, and guided
(28:35):
masterbation, like none of that, they assume that their wife or girlfriend must be completely
vanilla in every possible way and/or that their wife or girlfriend is submissive.
Which is a mistake.
(29:01):
That's the mistake.
Thinking like the automatic assumption that, "Oh, my wife would never be interested in
making me wear her panties."
She might be, because it's kind of fun.
It's fun to make, to, like, put on my panties, because it's neat.
(29:24):
But more women than you assume, for the vast majority of straight dudes out there, more
women than you think are pretty okay with the idea of feminizing you, even if it's just
for a night or a weekend, because it's kind of fun.
Patty says, "I can kind of see why it's safer to assume your partner isn't kinky in a vacuum."
(29:52):
And there's no chance of having someone leave you for being gross, or a pervert, or freak.
And Patty said, "In all fairness, I've seen some pretty judgmental and close-minded comments
from straight women."
Sure, it could be the whole repressed thing again, but still, "Oh, it's definitely the
(30:13):
repressed thing."
The kinds of erotica that women consume is very different from the erotica that men consume.
Men are extremely visual, and this is, of course, like, I'm painting with very, very broad
strokes.
Like, there's always exceptions.
The vast majority of men enjoy visual porn.
(30:35):
So, like, mainstream porn, mostly for dudes.
Men do watch porn, not as much as most men do, and not in the same way that men do.
The kind of porn that is made and marketed towards women and does well with women has
(30:59):
more plot to it.
It has more world-building and relationship stuff going on in there.
And honestly, the vast majority of porn that most women are consuming is written erotica.
Keyboard smash said, "Women view sex in the context of a relationship."
(31:30):
Kind of...
I mean, yeah.
Like, fucking a stranger is not that super attractive to the vast majority of people who've
been socialized as a woman.
They want to have some context for their relationship.
So the idea of, you know, the plumber comes by and you're like, "I've got a pipe for you
(31:52):
to clean."
Like, you, the stranger sex, most women would prefer more of a relationship.
So instead of the plumber, dropping by, it's a old boyfriend from college happens to be
in town.
And so, you know?
Oh, he finally told me how it's pronounced.
(32:15):
He says it's "sealed day gas."
Sealed day gas?
Oh, I can see that.
I was trying to pronounce every single part of that.
Patty said, "I found myself watching less visual porn.
Like, I still do, but I really enjoy audio-based videos."
(32:38):
Still a video.
Kylie says, "I write in the one genre that is almost exclusively men and isn't visual."
Not a lot of women read it.
But I found some really profound differences in what women like in it."
Yes.
(32:59):
It's the differences are in what people are looking for within it.
But it's just, oh, so just audio storytelling.
Yeah.
Patty said, "It's a video, but it's not a video being played.
It's just someone talking.
(33:20):
It's just an audio file."
Hell yeah, that's the kind of porn I make.
Because first I write it.
It's written erotica, but it's read aloud.
So it's like an audio book.
Audio short story.
(33:42):
Oh, so your username is the husband of, I'm not even going to try to say that because
I bet I'm going to fuck it up from Celtic Folklore.
(34:03):
Oh, my goodness, Patty.
Kelly said, "I used to always imagine my dommes avenging some slight done by a guy by feminizing
(34:23):
them."
And I learned that women prefer the dom to be a force of nature and the guy just crossed
her path.
It makes sense because that way the woman has agency rather than just reacting to the guy.
Yeah, it depends on where like the center of the story is.
If that makes sense, Patty says, "It's not that weird, isn't it?
(34:46):
No, it's not weird at all."
Like, there's, there, whatever it is that turns you on, dear listener who may or may not
be also Patty, whatever that is.
Like, obviously you have found people who are producing that kind of porn or erotica
(35:09):
that suits your needs.
And that's kind of cool.
Yeah, I like porn where the woman has, woman is erotica that features, sometimes with
a relationship, I don't particularly personally enjoy a strange person and we're going to
(35:33):
fuck now.
I do like there to be some kind of an existing relationship.
Um, well, stranger porn can be kind of fun.
Hmm.
Very off topic.
(35:56):
Look what you did to me.
We're supposed to be talking about how to find a feminization mistress and not what kind
of porn I like.
Yo.
I took the bait.
Y'all are, y'all are naughty.
Terrible.
But yes, the woman, a woman with agency is way better.
(36:20):
Like if it's going to be a cuckold type story, I've read a lot of erotica.
Okay, I've read a lot of porn.
And you can always tell what's written by a person who has had sex and what's been written
(36:48):
by somebody who is clearly not had sex.
He said, I think you would like deeper.com.
(37:10):
It's high quality porn.
I mean, maybe graphic soap opera stuff.
It depends.
I'm, like, I'm, I'm, I have a wide range of stuff that I'm interested in, but also I don't,
I don't go back to stories unless they're really fucking good because I'm picky as shit.
(37:36):
So like, I'll give anything at least two minutes worth of my attention.
It's cute, you think I know the names of various porn actors.
Because I do not pay attention to that.
Which is terrible, I know.
(37:57):
Oh, yeah, she was mainstream.
Yeah, I definitely don't pay attention to that.
Like I, I don't pay attention to the names of porn actors.
Maybe look.
(38:18):
Oh, no.
No, I could never.
I've watched what she was in before she started doing porn.
Uh-uh.
Nope.
Penny said was that good or bad?
(38:39):
Oh, no.
I can't tell you what she used to be in.
You can Google that.
Madeland Horne.
Good luck.
Um, it's gonna put bad thoughts into your head, though.
Not bad thoughts.
Yeah.
(39:04):
Nope.
I can't tell you.
She is an actor.
She got her start in mainstream acting as a very young person.
(39:27):
And then when she was an adult, she moved into porn.
You've been saying, oh, oh, no.
Yeah, yeah.
That's why that's why I'm like nope.
Sorry.
More power to her.
I hope she makes a whole sh*t ton of money.
Good for her.
But, uh, I can't tell you the list of what she used to be on.
(39:59):
Because what she was on was bad, because of how old she was.
So moving quickly on from there, it's the same level of squick that I get from all the
people who have like, um, like the, the, the countdown timer until like, uh, uh, various
(40:24):
actresses turn 18, like that, you icky.
Patty said, yes, let's get away from that train wreck.
Yeah.
It's uncomfortable.
(40:45):
Patty said, Patty's like finding a feminization mistress.
That's brutally, that's really trying to get back on track.
Okay.
So you have, you know what you want.
(41:06):
You have reached out to whomever it is you think you might enjoy having some fun with.
They have hopefully responded to you positively to your overture.
And now you can start negotiating for what you would like to experience.
(41:26):
Now, if this is a, a professional that you're hiring to do, uh, an in person makeover with
yourself, they're going to want to know, okay, colors.
What kind of style are you looking for?
Do you want to try to pass?
Or are we going for something highly stylized?
(41:49):
But what's your fashion, um, icons?
What do you want to look like by the time that we're finished?
If it is like if you're calling because you want to talk to me as a random example, I'm
going to want to know what's, what's your fantasy?
(42:12):
What, what is the thing?
Because I'm going to assume that if you're talking to me, sex and sexuality are probably
going to come up because that's my job.
That's what I do.
So I have this automatic baseline assumption that the odds are very good.
We're going to talk about something sexy.
(42:37):
If all that you want is advice putting together an outfit.
Okay.
Great.
We can definitely do that.
Say that so that I'm not overly sexual in your general direction when that's not what
(43:00):
you were looking for.
If what you want is fashion advice, that's very different from, okay, we're going to get
you all dressed up and then, you know, not too many details about that.
And then we're going to move on to cocksucking and ho-ing you out.
(43:20):
You're going to be a slut.
Blah, blah, blah.
Right?
When all you really wanted was, no, no, I want you to look at this website and tell me which
of these dresses is cute.
Very different sorts of scenarios.
So to tell me, Patty said there may be other cheaper options if all you want is fashion advice.
(43:47):
Well, it depends.
Do you trust the person who's giving you fashion advice?
Do you know where to go to find whatever it is that you're looking for?
I know several different places to go to find both custom and off the rack stylized
(44:12):
sissy outfits.
So I close your eyes and think about a sissy.
I know where to get those clothes.
Like, I know where to get, I know where to get that.
So that's off of Etsy where you're getting something that's made custom just for you one
(44:35):
piece at a time or there's some larger websites where you can go to the sissy store, for example,
where it is often custom.
It'll take a little bit longer to get shipped to you, but their stuff's pretty good considering
it's not completely custom.
(44:57):
I also know which mainstream clothing companies produce clothing in sizes that would fit
a typically masculine body.
Most men are taller and broader than women are and are shaped a little bit differently.
(45:20):
I know where to go to get you cute clothing in sizes that are likely to fit you.
Kylie says I don't need fashion advice.
I'm a natural and then share a picture from the 1970s.
I mean, it's a cute like vest and very pointy collar with some embroidery details, a little
(45:46):
little pant suit outfit, but yeah, you're going to have to hire somebody to make that for
you and you probably look on Etsy for that.
It's a very straight leg.
God.
Addy said as a trans woman, having a personal stylist to help with my wardrobe would count
(46:11):
as feminization.
Technically, yeah.
So day gas said a salvation army might be a good place for that kind of stuff.
I mean, it can be for the old stuff.
That's practically fucking vintage at this point.
(46:33):
So you're probably looking at them slightly more upscale boutique to find that, the picture
that Kylie sent.
So if you're interested in cross dressing and you want to be able to pass, you want to wear
like the same sort of clothing that other women wear.
(46:55):
Torrid has larger sizes, hot topic has larger sizes as well in more trendy type clothing
and Lane Bryant.
Lane Briant's a little bit more conservative leaning, a little bit more stuffy, less edgy,
(47:18):
than Hot Topic.
I think I'm a graphic tees, but also hot topic does have some pretty cute, some of their
pants are adorable.
They've got some skirts.
They've got some dresses.
Torrid, Torrid has some really cute shit.
You may have to sort through in order to find exactly what's going to fit your personal
(47:41):
vibe, but those three are mainstream.
You can shop online and they have free returns or at least they did last time I looked at
them.
So yeah, you can you can find them and oftentimes shop off the clearance section because come
(48:03):
on.
Hello.
Yeah, you can get the staples of your wardrobe that way and sizes that are going to fit you.
So for advice about all that kind of stuff, yes, absolutely.
But if you're going to, if that's the kind of stuff that you want, say so because otherwise
I'm going to be like, oh, what about this?
(48:25):
It's cute for date night.
Guys will be all over you.
And if that's not what you want, you have to again communicate that.
You have to say it.
Also if you can fit in fairly small sizes, so like medium for most dudes is usually a large
(48:49):
extra large in women sizes.
Ish.
It depends on the brand.
It depends on what it's made out of.
But jeans are often sold, you know, like a 32.
That means it's literally a 32 inch waist.
So if you know what size you wear in say, Levi's, you know what size you wear in women's
(49:14):
Levi's too.
Extra large minz.
I'm fucked.
The three companies that I already told you about.
Torrid has stuff that will fit you.
You're going to be looking for extra extra large.
(49:37):
So either two X or three X in women sizes, probably just two X.
So Torrid, T-O-O, T-O-R-R-I-D, hot topic.
And both of those have Canadian storefronts.
(49:57):
Yeah.
At least that US sizes are chaotic.
They really are.
There's such a pain in the ass.
Which is why I like to emphasize companies that will let you do free returns.
Because you're going to have to get stuff and try it on.
(50:17):
And you have to try it on.
And then if it doesn't fit, just send it the fuck back.
Yeah, you can also shop off Amazon because oftentimes free returns.
Absolutely vital to be able to say, nope, that didn't fit and send it back.
And either get one in the size that fits better or get something different.
(50:42):
Okay.
So Salinas said, Fredrick's of Hollywood, little, little slutty.
A little bit.
(51:07):
Patty said, I might take down those names when I think about getting more of a wardrobe.
Absolutely.
Because shopping is fun and being able to find stuff in the size that's going to work for
you.
(51:27):
It's, you know, it's important.
Fredrick girls need fancy clothing too.
To check a few tabs real quick.
Okay.
(51:48):
Oh, so the last step, of course, is actually doing your session.
Whether this is pick up play at a party where you just want somebody to, I mean, if you
(52:13):
go to a party and you want somebody to feminize you, I hope you brought stuff with you.
So this is the part where I tell you to be prepared.
Have your things with you.
You can't just go to a pick up party and expect somebody there to be like, oh, yeah, I carry
(52:40):
a full wardrobe with me at all times.
Because no, be reasonable.
If you want somebody to put you in a dress and then spank you while calling you a dirty
slut, great, fabulous, wonderful, bring the dress and have the dress ready.
(53:05):
If you want to call me and have me put you in a dress, you have to actually have the dress.
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I cannot manifest a dress through the phone.
It's not, it's a phone.
This isn't Star Trek.
I cannot beam it up.
(53:25):
You have to actually have it on hand.
So just like with any of your sessions, if you have specific things you would like to use,
know where they are before you call.
Have it on hand.
You may need a lube.
(53:46):
You may need a dildo.
If you're like, I want to suck a cock for you.
Okay, great.
Do you have one?
Do you have a cock to suck attached to a person or otherwise?
Do you have something or are we just using the power of our imaginations today?
(54:06):
Both are fun.
Panies and I mean, technically there's a non-zero percent overlap in the people who go
to kinky parties and the people who would carry a full wardrobe everywhere they go, but
that's not a safe assumption to make.
No.
No, you cannot assume that, especially you cannot assume that I'm going to carry a wardrobe
(54:31):
in your size.
I might have a wardrobe in my size.
I do not carry a wardrobe everywhere I go.
(54:53):
Patty said "I do have a cock attached to a person, but it's probably the only one I can't
suck on."
I mean, just get flexible.
Come on, man.
Do some Pilates.
Get flexible.
(55:16):
Get in there.
So have what you need ahead of time.
I cannot tell you how many chaotic bitches have tried to set up a session with me and then
look, if you want to do this on Discord so that you can have it on camera, great, fun,
(55:40):
I like, I want to see your outfit.
I want to see you all dressed up.
I love that shit.
That's so much fun.
There's one time somebody calls and you know, there's on Discord and they're talking to
me and they're like, oh, let me get my outfit.
They walk away from their computer.
(56:04):
So all I can see is like a wall and I can hear them kind of moving around because they're
literally off camera somewhere in that room trying to find their stockings.
(56:25):
So maybe, maybe, don't do that.
Have your stuff on hand so that you don't have to stop and pause and be like, hang on, I
have to go find my fishnets.
Okay.
I mean, I can sit here and stare at a wall for a while, but also you do know you pay by the
(56:50):
minute, right?
It's just, it seems wasteful.
You know, it's your money, but also, buddy.
Subbitches are chaotic.
I respect it.
I respect that.
(57:12):
Patty says, "I've done that.
It was only a three-second grab of a dildo and I didn't leave the call."
Oh no, they don't leave the call.
Like I can still hear them.
They can hear me and I try to talk to them.
I'm like, so, you lost your stockings, huh?
(57:33):
This is latest in what's the crazy thing your caller wanted you to do to them on a while
later on camera.
I can't tell you.
(57:54):
I can't tell you that one either.
Okay.
I can probably tell you.
It was very unsafe and I don't recommend that you do it, but it involved a toilet plunger
handle.
(58:15):
But he said, can't for privacy reasons or safety reasons.
Safety.
Also terms of service.
I've seen some things.
Look, I can't tell people to do certain things, but I also don't have the ability to reach
through the internet and make them stop.
So I can tell you, I don't think that's a good idea.
(58:43):
And if they want to keep going, okay.
I can't make you not do that.
I have the best job.
This is latest.
(59:09):
When you said plunger, I got scared.
Yeah, I don't recommend it.
I don't do that.
Please don't do that.
It was very crazy and it definitely left and impression in my mind.
Okay.
(59:31):
Whore School is adult sex education with occasional forays into religious philosophy.
Whore School airs every Sunday evening from 11 to midnight on the East Coast, 8 to 9 on
the West Coast.
If you hit the live show, you can join in.
Go to the chat room, communitykink.com.
(59:56):
I do try to give content warnings before I start talking about things like plungers.
Sometimes that slips through though.
Sorry about that.
Whoops.
Check out my blog, fetishphonesexblog.com.
And my latest post on sissyville.com.
(01:00:17):
I am a professional femdom phone sex mistress.
You can talk to me on the phone.
I'm fun to talk to.
Thank you guys for listening.
I hope you now know a little bit more about how to go about finding yourself a feminization
mistress.
I will talk to you all again next week in October.
(01:00:42):
Good night.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
When you hear the chime, that's when you know the show is on and that was the chime.
(00:12):
Whore School is live adult sex education aimed at creating better adult human beings in
the world.
I have made it my life's goal to combat ignorance.
(00:36):
You know, for reasons.
So Whore School is adult sex education aimed at grown folks who would like to become better
educated about the world and stuff that's going on in it.
If you are listening to the live show, please head to communitykink.com.
That's the chat room.
(00:57):
It's open.
Right as I pressed start on the show, I dropped something on the floor too.
That's the sound of me doing an awkward reach down to pick up something that I dropped
(01:18):
on the floor.
Oh goodness.
Kelly says having trouble with the podcast, I'm not having trouble with the podcast.
I hope you can hear me.
Please don't make me have to put on sound monitoring.
I hate having to do that.
There's a slight delay and it drives me crazy.
(01:39):
You can always tell when I'm typing, one, you can hear it.
And two, I stop talking.
I can't type and talk at the same time.
I know terrible, right?
(02:00):
It's the worst.
At least that's how you know that when you call, right, and talk to me, I'm definitely
not doing two sessions at the same time, like one by voice and one by text because I can't
the number of times I've been trying to like type something while saying something else
(02:22):
out loud and I just wind up typing a transcript of whatever it is that I'm saying.
My life is fun.
If you are listening to the live show, head to communitykink.com.
The chat room is open.
I've been joined tonight by Ms. Kylie Gable and Patty, who I notice is no longer Patty
(02:43):
the sissy.
I see how it is.
That's fine.
That's fine.
We are going to talk about a sissification and feminization topic tonight.
What are we discussing?
Ooh, I'm so glad you asked.
How to find a feminization mistress?
Oh, yeah.
I recently wrote and as recently I wrote it yesterday and it was published today.
(03:09):
A new blog post for the sissyville blog.
Oh, one word, sissyville, s-i-s-s-y, v-i-l-l-e, sissyville.
Go to sissyville.
There's tons of stuff on there.
So I've already written about how to find a feminization mistress.
You're welcome.
And if you read that faster than I can talk, then you'll know what I'm going to tell you.
(03:38):
Ms. Addy has joined us in the chat room and Patty says that she is maybe trying to distance
from that label a little bit to not box herself into a corner.
That's fair.
It's your name.
Call yourself what you want to.
You don't have to apply a label.
And yeah, it can feel a little bit limiting sometimes, can't it?
(04:02):
To put a label onto yourself and then everybody thinks, well, that's just what you are.
We are way more dimensional than that.
Okay.
So four people in this world who have just decided that, hey, maybe I would like to explore
(04:22):
my gender presentation a little bit.
And they're wondering how in the heckin poopy do I find someone to help me do that.
Womp, womp.
It's real fucking difficult.
Last week's show was about basically how to behave matters when you're in the kinky community,
(04:49):
when you're out in the world.
Basically, you know, don't be too much of a spaz.
It's applicable for people who decide that they want to find a feminization mistress.
When you go to a BDSM or kink event, not everyone who is there is there to be an NPC in your
(05:14):
sexual fantasy.
They are human beings with their own needs, wants and desires and they may or may not
be open to helping you get your needs met.
So be nice.
Be nice to people.
Those are human beings.
I know everybody's social skills are a little bit atrophied nowadays, but you know, stretch.
(05:41):
So my first bit of advice for you are interested in finding someone to play with, to explore
your desires.
Fabulous.
What are your desires?
Like you should ask yourself that, what do you really want?
(06:03):
What do you want?
What do you need?
What do you yearn for?
Like, what?
What do you want?
The more specific you can be when you answer that question, the better off you will be
in the long run.
Without specific answers, it's really hard to find a specific person when you can't tell
(06:26):
me what you're looking for.
You need to be able, ideally, to boil down what you're looking for into like an elevator
pitch, three to five simple statements about what you want.
(06:51):
Get it clear.
Get clear with yourself first and then work on the verbiage to be able to communicate
to somebody else.
What do you fucking want?
An awful lot of people in the kink community.
Trust me, I've been in the kink community for a while now.
(07:12):
When you go to a party as a femdom, if there is a male submissive who's never done this
shit before, I guarantee we can clock you.
We know that you're there because you're staring at us.
Like, we can tell.
And the sheer volume of times I've had somebody who stares eventually manages to
(07:38):
work up the nerve to come over and ask if I might be interested in playing with them.
Very sweet, very good.
Okay, sure.
Yes.
What are you looking for?
And then they go, uh, because they can't answer that question.
What do you want?
(08:00):
Is it choice paralysis that causes them to go blue screen of death?
Or is it that they just, they want everything.
They want all of the things I want this, this, this, this, this.
I want all of it.
Yes, all it wants.
Patty said, I've never even been to a party.
(08:26):
Somehow feel called out.
It's like looking into your potential future.
Well now you know, and I'm going to tell you how to avoid this.
So step number one, do not tell a femdom or a mistress that you are into and I quote "anything"
(08:49):
because you are not, you're not into "anything".
You're not that open, especially if you've never done this before, you're, you're not ready
for exactly how far down I can take you.
You're not ready for "anything".
You have some very specific fantasies and fetish checkpoints that you expect to hit.
(09:14):
"Anything"?
No, no, you're not into "anything".
And if you are, you've probably been involved in the community for a while and can start
listing all of all of the things that you're into, which is the opposite of the problem.
You want too much.
(09:38):
So don't just say, well, I just, I just want to serve.
A submissive who tells a femdom that the only thing they're interested in is just, I just
really want to serve.
I just want to serve you, mistress.
(09:58):
I just wanted, I just want to be yours.
I just want to, yeah, I just want to serve.
That's right up there with the guy who tells his wife that, well, you know, I'll do anything.
You just got to give me a list.
Like in regards to chores around the house, you just, you just have to tell me what to do
(10:19):
and I'll do it.
That's, that's not helpful.
You have outsourced the mental load for your sexual fantasy on to somebody else.
How fucking lazy are you that you can't come up with three things that you're into.
I would like to experience instead.
(10:39):
It's, oh, I just want to serve anything, mistress.
Uh huh.
Great.
So I have to think it up.
I have to think up your sexual fantasy for you too.
I have to think it up and then I have to deliver it.
And then if you doesn't meet your desires, you're just going to what?
Cry about it, but somehow blame me for it.
(11:02):
You.
Oh, anyway.
He said technically the answer is that is that I am indeed pretty lazy.
It's very self-aware.
I just like to call it out because as a professional, I run into that quite a bit.
(11:27):
I just want to serve is make a list of chores for me to do.
You live here.
Make your own fucking list.
It's your sexual fantasy.
Come on, fucking communicate.
Jesus fucking Christ.
It's not difficult.
(11:47):
Like seriously, three to five things.
At most, like more than five is a little bit excessive, but at least like two, come on.
Like a concept of something you would like to experience.
Whatever it is, like some random thought that makes you go, woo, horny, like that.
(12:08):
That's what you have to be able to communicate.
So if as a sissy interested in exploring whatever the fuck being a sissy means to you, if
you're into you want somebody to tell you what to wear, to feminize you, and to tell you
(12:31):
to go suck a dick.
That's three things.
So dressed, feminized, cock sucking.
Great.
I can build an amazing fantasy around those three concepts.
Abs-o-fucking-lutely.
(12:52):
Yes, let's go.
I can work with that.
If you have something even more specific in mind or something that you need or want out
of your experience, fucking speak up, dude.
So if what you really want is a specific type of panties, mention them, say them, say
(13:18):
that full coverage, high leg, pink lace panties.
Okay, great.
Plenty of detail.
Love that.
Love that, darling.
Yes.
Like if that is the specific thing that you need in your fantasy, you have to be able to
(13:41):
say it out loud to another living human being.
Otherwise you will not get the specific thing.
You cannot expect anybody, whether this is in face to face interactions or over the internet
or phone, nobody else, we're not mind readers.
Like we're good.
(14:01):
I can make a very reasonable guess about what kinds of scenarios you might like.
You tell me cock sucking and feminization and I'm immediately like, oh, yeah.
Somebody is going to use your big tails like handlebars.
Like, you know, I can come to some reasonable conclusions about how what the general shape
(14:25):
of this fantasy is going to be.
But if you have something extremely specific in mind, you got to say it.
You have to say it out loud.
Say, and then here's Patty in the chat says, being able to say what I'm looking for is a
recent skill I'm developing.
And the next step is being able to say it to another person in real life.
(14:49):
Yeah, that's the tricky bit because it is embarrassing.
It's so super embarrassing.
Which is why so knowing first knowing just for yourself an awareness in and of yourself
of what you want.
That's step number one.
Step number two is communicating that.
(15:15):
So you've done some introspection.
You have looked at your masterbation fantasies.
You've looked at your porn history and you've gone, ah, there's some themes.
And here, apparently, this is what works for me.
And you've distilled that down to roughly three things.
(15:36):
Three major motifs in your masterbatory fantasies that you always works.
It's a tried and true.
You always go back to those those three things that always works for you.
So great.
You know your things.
When you reach out to somebody to ask them to pretty, pretty, please help you out with whatever
(16:05):
it is that your scenario may happen to be.
Do not open with the triple X rated extreme descriptions.
Don't open with that.
Do not walk up to a woman at a kink event and tell her, hi, I would love to have you strip
(16:32):
me naked, grease me up with mineral oil, dress me like a sissy Lolita and then bend me
over and fuck me with a giant strap on to make my asshole gabe and call me a pussy bitch
while you spank me.
(16:55):
Don't open with that.
Don't start with the triple X.
Don't like dear God, at least say hello first.
"But if it's coconut oil instead of mineral oil, that's an okay opener, right?"
(17:17):
Yeah, that's what makes it acceptable.
Less likely to stain.
It's still going to stain though.
Um, girl.
You want to start with a kind of a PG 13 testing.
(17:40):
So if you really, really, really want to email me with your extremely explicit fantasy,
you can, I wish you wouldn't, I wish that you would treat me like I'm a person first and
a sex vending machine later.
Like at least open with, hi, I found you on wherever, I know I listened to Whore School, I found
(18:10):
your blog, I saw that post on sissyville and thought, hey, I should reach out.
I'm interested in exploring, and this is where you insert your three things.
I'm interested in exploring, cock sucking, cross-dressing and feminization.
(18:31):
Would you be interested in doing this with me?
And then I will respond back with yes, absolutely.
That sounds wonderful.
I'm so glad you found me.
It's always fun to meet a fan.
Can you tell me more about whatever your fantasy is because now I'm interested.
That's your cue.
(18:56):
That's your cue.
Then tell me the triple X extreme details of your fantasy, especially if those details
are important.
Don't open with that.
Unless it really, really, really, really is a deal breaker and then just be fucking succinct.
(19:24):
And I'll tell you why I want you to be succinct.
Kylie said, I just found out I need to find my own panties because the one she picked wouldn't
work for me.
This is too much pressure.
It is.
It's too much pressure to have to locate your own underwear.
It's terrible.
(19:45):
That's so mean.
Awful.
So why should you be succinct before whatever it is?
So you walk up to somebody at a party, right?
(20:07):
Do not open with your entire masturbatory fantasy.
Don't start with that.
Start short and it's because and this is the same thing.
If you email one of the mistresses, you email me with the entire scenario.
(20:28):
I got that's your cold open is the triple X and you just went, you went for it.
I'm going to assume you were jerking off when you wrote that.
And if you walk up to me at a party and immediately open with, here's my entire fantasy.
Oh yeah.
(20:49):
You're getting off on it like the act of exposing yourself like this and straight up saying
that is part of what is turning you on.
I have not yet consented to being part of your masturbatory fantasy.
It's icky.
And this is coming from me, a professional.
(21:12):
I am used to people making me part of their masturbatory fantasies.
I get paid for that.
Now doing that without paying me?
Without making sure ahead of time that that's okay.
(21:35):
How horny are you?
Like damn.
But when you go to like a party or an event, even if it's aimed at whatever it is that your
fantasy is, if you go to a cross-dressing event and there's a bunch of women there who
are like yes, I love to put men into panties because I think it's hot and it's a lot of fun.
(21:58):
Right?
Even then, until you have established some sort of a relationship with those women, you
cannot just automatically assume that they're an NPC there to fulfill whatever your fucking
sexual desires are.
You have to talk to people.
First, before you dive directly into whatever your fantasy may happen to be.
(22:32):
You gotta talk to people, dude.
Honest, women are not scary.
Like we're relatively easy to speak with most of the time.
Patty says, "I'm in too joking of a mood tonight."
Now we like jokes.
Have you met me?
I have also fucking time.
(22:54):
Jokes are good.
Okay, so, know what you want.
Use your fucking common sense when interacting with adult human women that you would like
(23:19):
to convince to play along with you in your fantasies.
So what kinds of things can you get from a feminization mistress?
Skies the limit bud.
(23:41):
Whatever it is that just crossed your mind that you're like, "Ooh, I'd like whatever that
was."
Yeah, you can find somebody who's into that.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that just because a person happens to be a woman, that
we're not also fucking kinky perverts.
(24:05):
Women are not that different from men.
Men get horny.
Hey, so do women.
Men have elaborate sexual fantasies?
So do women.
There's nothing about your sexual fantasy that is completely off the table.
(24:28):
Okay, I can think of a few things that are completely off the table, but we don't talk about
those things, so we're just talking about some feminization and specification over here.
It might.
Penny said, "Did you say to assume women are or aren't kinky perverts?"
(24:54):
I mean, you could pretty well assume that all human beings definitely are kinky.
Perverts.
Like, the vast majority of human beings are pretty horny on main.
(25:18):
Sometimes we run into this.
Men who are into feminization make the mistake of assuming that all the women around them
would not be into that.
When the reality is, a fair chunk of women would actually be into that.
(25:40):
Would enjoy helping you with your feminization.
But you'll never know because they don't ask.
Yeah, and she said, "That would mean a lot of people are quite frustrated, repressing their
kinkiness."
(26:01):
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
She said, "Huh, wonder why society is like that."
Do not get me off on that topic again.
Because I will, "Oh, oh, that's like catnip in front of a cat."
(26:22):
I'm like, "Ooh, Puritans?"
It's Puritans.
It's fucking Puritans again.
Oh, good.
See, Patty, and I don't walk around thinking about every person I see.
Like, I wonder if they would like the sexual thing I'm into.
Most people don't.
(26:42):
Most of the time, the vast majority of people around you, I hope that you're not thinking
about the sexual way.
Kylie said, "You know who makes a lot of sense to me lately?
John Calvin."
Boo.
Fuck John Calvin.
(27:02):
And that's all.
Patties said, "I literally just said I don't."
I know.
Most people don't.
Most people do not think about other people sexually.
Kylie said, "He's the one with the imaginary tiger, right?
It's Calvin and Hobbs, the tiger."
(27:26):
And I love the fact that it's, yeah.
Anyways, I'm not going to discuss the philosophy of Calvin and Hobbs, the comic strip.
Girl?
Ooh, that's a good one.
That's a good distraction.
I almost took it.
I almost took the bait.
(27:47):
But see, like, Patty, you don't think about the sexual lives of most of the people around
you.
But an awful lot of people make the mistake of when they do think about the sexual lives
of especially the people that are in their life, right?
(28:09):
So men who think about what their wife or girlfriend might be interested in sexually, they
make the mistake of thinking that their wife, their girlfriend, would never be into.
Whatever it is that they're into, feminization, cross-dressing, cuckolding, and guided
(28:35):
masterbation, like none of that, they assume that their wife or girlfriend must be completely
vanilla in every possible way and/or that their wife or girlfriend is submissive.
Which is a mistake.
(29:01):
That's the mistake.
Thinking like the automatic assumption that, "Oh, my wife would never be interested in
making me wear her panties."
She might be, because it's kind of fun.
It's fun to make, to, like, put on my panties, because it's neat.
(29:24):
But more women than you assume, for the vast majority of straight dudes out there, more
women than you think are pretty okay with the idea of feminizing you, even if it's just
for a night or a weekend, because it's kind of fun.
Patty says, "I can kind of see why it's safer to assume your partner isn't kinky in a vacuum."
(29:52):
And there's no chance of having someone leave you for being gross, or a pervert, or freak.
And Patty said, "In all fairness, I've seen some pretty judgmental and close-minded comments
from straight women."
Sure, it could be the whole repressed thing again, but still, "Oh, it's definitely the
(30:13):
repressed thing."
The kinds of erotica that women consume is very different from the erotica that men consume.
Men are extremely visual, and this is, of course, like, I'm painting with very, very broad
strokes.
Like, there's always exceptions.
The vast majority of men enjoy visual porn.
(30:35):
So, like, mainstream porn, mostly for dudes.
Men do watch porn, not as much as most men do, and not in the same way that men do.
The kind of porn that is made and marketed towards women and does well with women has
(30:59):
more plot to it.
It has more world-building and relationship stuff going on in there.
And honestly, the vast majority of porn that most women are consuming is written erotica.
Keyboard smash said, "Women view sex in the context of a relationship."
(31:30):
Kind of...
I mean, yeah.
Like, fucking a stranger is not that super attractive to the vast majority of people who've
been socialized as a woman.
They want to have some context for their relationship.
So the idea of, you know, the plumber comes by and you're like, "I've got a pipe for you
(31:52):
to clean."
Like, you, the stranger sex, most women would prefer more of a relationship.
So instead of the plumber, dropping by, it's a old boyfriend from college happens to be
in town.
And so, you know?
Oh, he finally told me how it's pronounced.
(32:15):
He says it's "sealed day gas."
Sealed day gas?
Oh, I can see that.
I was trying to pronounce every single part of that.
Patty said, "I found myself watching less visual porn.
Like, I still do, but I really enjoy audio-based videos."
(32:38):
Still a video.
Kylie says, "I write in the one genre that is almost exclusively men and isn't visual."
Not a lot of women read it.
But I found some really profound differences in what women like in it."
Yes.
(32:59):
It's the differences are in what people are looking for within it.
But it's just, oh, so just audio storytelling.
Yeah.
Patty said, "It's a video, but it's not a video being played.
It's just someone talking.
(33:20):
It's just an audio file."
Hell yeah, that's the kind of porn I make.
Because first I write it.
It's written erotica, but it's read aloud.
So it's like an audio book.
Audio short story.
(33:42):
Oh, so your username is the husband of, I'm not even going to try to say that because
I bet I'm going to fuck it up from Celtic Folklore.
(34:03):
Oh, my goodness, Patty.
Kelly said, "I used to always imagine my dommes avenging some slight done by a guy by feminizing
(34:23):
them."
And I learned that women prefer the dom to be a force of nature and the guy just crossed
her path.
It makes sense because that way the woman has agency rather than just reacting to the guy.
Yeah, it depends on where like the center of the story is.
If that makes sense, Patty says, "It's not that weird, isn't it?
(34:46):
No, it's not weird at all."
Like, there's, there, whatever it is that turns you on, dear listener who may or may not
be also Patty, whatever that is.
Like, obviously you have found people who are producing that kind of porn or erotica
(35:09):
that suits your needs.
And that's kind of cool.
Yeah, I like porn where the woman has, woman is erotica that features, sometimes with
a relationship, I don't particularly personally enjoy a strange person and we're going to
(35:33):
fuck now.
I do like there to be some kind of an existing relationship.
Um, well, stranger porn can be kind of fun.
Hmm.
Very off topic.
(35:56):
Look what you did to me.
We're supposed to be talking about how to find a feminization mistress and not what kind
of porn I like.
Yo.
I took the bait.
Y'all are, y'all are naughty.
Terrible.
But yes, the woman, a woman with agency is way better.
(36:20):
Like if it's going to be a cuckold type story, I've read a lot of erotica.
Okay, I've read a lot of porn.
And you can always tell what's written by a person who has had sex and what's been written
(36:48):
by somebody who is clearly not had sex.
He said, I think you would like deeper.com.
(37:10):
It's high quality porn.
I mean, maybe graphic soap opera stuff.
It depends.
I'm, like, I'm, I'm, I have a wide range of stuff that I'm interested in, but also I don't,
I don't go back to stories unless they're really fucking good because I'm picky as shit.
(37:36):
So like, I'll give anything at least two minutes worth of my attention.
It's cute, you think I know the names of various porn actors.
Because I do not pay attention to that.
Which is terrible, I know.
(37:57):
Oh, yeah, she was mainstream.
Yeah, I definitely don't pay attention to that.
Like I, I don't pay attention to the names of porn actors.
Maybe look.
(38:18):
Oh, no.
No, I could never.
I've watched what she was in before she started doing porn.
Uh-uh.
Nope.
Penny said was that good or bad?
(38:39):
Oh, no.
I can't tell you what she used to be in.
You can Google that.
Madeland Horne.
Good luck.
Um, it's gonna put bad thoughts into your head, though.
Not bad thoughts.
Yeah.
(39:04):
Nope.
I can't tell you.
She is an actor.
She got her start in mainstream acting as a very young person.
(39:27):
And then when she was an adult, she moved into porn.
You've been saying, oh, oh, no.
Yeah, yeah.
That's why that's why I'm like nope.
Sorry.
More power to her.
I hope she makes a whole sh*t ton of money.
Good for her.
But, uh, I can't tell you the list of what she used to be on.
(39:59):
Because what she was on was bad, because of how old she was.
So moving quickly on from there, it's the same level of squick that I get from all the
people who have like, um, like the, the, the countdown timer until like, uh, uh, various
(40:24):
actresses turn 18, like that, you icky.
Patty said, yes, let's get away from that train wreck.
Yeah.
It's uncomfortable.
(40:45):
Patty said, Patty's like finding a feminization mistress.
That's brutally, that's really trying to get back on track.
Okay.
So you have, you know what you want.
(41:06):
You have reached out to whomever it is you think you might enjoy having some fun with.
They have hopefully responded to you positively to your overture.
And now you can start negotiating for what you would like to experience.
(41:26):
Now, if this is a, a professional that you're hiring to do, uh, an in person makeover with
yourself, they're going to want to know, okay, colors.
What kind of style are you looking for?
Do you want to try to pass?
Or are we going for something highly stylized?
(41:49):
But what's your fashion, um, icons?
What do you want to look like by the time that we're finished?
If it is like if you're calling because you want to talk to me as a random example, I'm
going to want to know what's, what's your fantasy?
(42:12):
What, what is the thing?
Because I'm going to assume that if you're talking to me, sex and sexuality are probably
going to come up because that's my job.
That's what I do.
So I have this automatic baseline assumption that the odds are very good.
We're going to talk about something sexy.
(42:37):
If all that you want is advice putting together an outfit.
Okay.
Great.
We can definitely do that.
Say that so that I'm not overly sexual in your general direction when that's not what
(43:00):
you were looking for.
If what you want is fashion advice, that's very different from, okay, we're going to get
you all dressed up and then, you know, not too many details about that.
And then we're going to move on to cocksucking and ho-ing you out.
(43:20):
You're going to be a slut.
Blah, blah, blah.
Right?
When all you really wanted was, no, no, I want you to look at this website and tell me which
of these dresses is cute.
Very different sorts of scenarios.
So to tell me, Patty said there may be other cheaper options if all you want is fashion advice.
(43:47):
Well, it depends.
Do you trust the person who's giving you fashion advice?
Do you know where to go to find whatever it is that you're looking for?
I know several different places to go to find both custom and off the rack stylized
(44:12):
sissy outfits.
So I close your eyes and think about a sissy.
I know where to get those clothes.
Like, I know where to get, I know where to get that.
So that's off of Etsy where you're getting something that's made custom just for you one
(44:35):
piece at a time or there's some larger websites where you can go to the sissy store, for example,
where it is often custom.
It'll take a little bit longer to get shipped to you, but their stuff's pretty good considering
it's not completely custom.
(44:57):
I also know which mainstream clothing companies produce clothing in sizes that would fit
a typically masculine body.
Most men are taller and broader than women are and are shaped a little bit differently.
(45:20):
I know where to go to get you cute clothing in sizes that are likely to fit you.
Kylie says I don't need fashion advice.
I'm a natural and then share a picture from the 1970s.
I mean, it's a cute like vest and very pointy collar with some embroidery details, a little
(45:46):
little pant suit outfit, but yeah, you're going to have to hire somebody to make that for
you and you probably look on Etsy for that.
It's a very straight leg.
God.
Addy said as a trans woman, having a personal stylist to help with my wardrobe would count
(46:11):
as feminization.
Technically, yeah.
So day gas said a salvation army might be a good place for that kind of stuff.
I mean, it can be for the old stuff.
That's practically fucking vintage at this point.
(46:33):
So you're probably looking at them slightly more upscale boutique to find that, the picture
that Kylie sent.
So if you're interested in cross dressing and you want to be able to pass, you want to wear
like the same sort of clothing that other women wear.
(46:55):
Torrid has larger sizes, hot topic has larger sizes as well in more trendy type clothing
and Lane Bryant.
Lane Briant's a little bit more conservative leaning, a little bit more stuffy, less edgy,
(47:18):
than Hot Topic.
I think I'm a graphic tees, but also hot topic does have some pretty cute, some of their
pants are adorable.
They've got some skirts.
They've got some dresses.
Torrid, Torrid has some really cute shit.
You may have to sort through in order to find exactly what's going to fit your personal
(47:41):
vibe, but those three are mainstream.
You can shop online and they have free returns or at least they did last time I looked at
them.
So yeah, you can you can find them and oftentimes shop off the clearance section because come
(48:03):
on.
Hello.
Yeah, you can get the staples of your wardrobe that way and sizes that are going to fit you.
So for advice about all that kind of stuff, yes, absolutely.
But if you're going to, if that's the kind of stuff that you want, say so because otherwise
I'm going to be like, oh, what about this?
(48:25):
It's cute for date night.
Guys will be all over you.
And if that's not what you want, you have to again communicate that.
You have to say it.
Also if you can fit in fairly small sizes, so like medium for most dudes is usually a large
(48:49):
extra large in women sizes.
Ish.
It depends on the brand.
It depends on what it's made out of.
But jeans are often sold, you know, like a 32.
That means it's literally a 32 inch waist.
So if you know what size you wear in say, Levi's, you know what size you wear in women's
(49:14):
Levi's too.
Extra large minz.
I'm fucked.
The three companies that I already told you about.
Torrid has stuff that will fit you.
You're going to be looking for extra extra large.
(49:37):
So either two X or three X in women sizes, probably just two X.
So Torrid, T-O-O, T-O-R-R-I-D, hot topic.
And both of those have Canadian storefronts.
(49:57):
Yeah.
At least that US sizes are chaotic.
They really are.
There's such a pain in the ass.
Which is why I like to emphasize companies that will let you do free returns.
Because you're going to have to get stuff and try it on.
(50:17):
And you have to try it on.
And then if it doesn't fit, just send it the fuck back.
Yeah, you can also shop off Amazon because oftentimes free returns.
Absolutely vital to be able to say, nope, that didn't fit and send it back.
And either get one in the size that fits better or get something different.
(50:42):
Okay.
So Salinas said, Fredrick's of Hollywood, little, little slutty.
A little bit.
(51:07):
Patty said, I might take down those names when I think about getting more of a wardrobe.
Absolutely.
Because shopping is fun and being able to find stuff in the size that's going to work for
you.
(51:27):
It's, you know, it's important.
Fredrick girls need fancy clothing too.
To check a few tabs real quick.
Okay.
(51:48):
Oh, so the last step, of course, is actually doing your session.
Whether this is pick up play at a party where you just want somebody to, I mean, if you
(52:13):
go to a party and you want somebody to feminize you, I hope you brought stuff with you.
So this is the part where I tell you to be prepared.
Have your things with you.
You can't just go to a pick up party and expect somebody there to be like, oh, yeah, I carry
(52:40):
a full wardrobe with me at all times.
Because no, be reasonable.
If you want somebody to put you in a dress and then spank you while calling you a dirty
slut, great, fabulous, wonderful, bring the dress and have the dress ready.
(53:05):
If you want to call me and have me put you in a dress, you have to actually have the dress.
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I cannot manifest a dress through the phone.
It's not, it's a phone.
This isn't Star Trek.
I cannot beam it up.
(53:25):
You have to actually have it on hand.
So just like with any of your sessions, if you have specific things you would like to use,
know where they are before you call.
Have it on hand.
You may need a lube.
(53:46):
You may need a dildo.
If you're like, I want to suck a cock for you.
Okay, great.
Do you have one?
Do you have a cock to suck attached to a person or otherwise?
Do you have something or are we just using the power of our imaginations today?
(54:06):
Both are fun.
Panies and I mean, technically there's a non-zero percent overlap in the people who go
to kinky parties and the people who would carry a full wardrobe everywhere they go, but
that's not a safe assumption to make.
No.
No, you cannot assume that, especially you cannot assume that I'm going to carry a wardrobe
(54:31):
in your size.
I might have a wardrobe in my size.
I do not carry a wardrobe everywhere I go.
(54:53):
Patty said "I do have a cock attached to a person, but it's probably the only one I can't
suck on."
I mean, just get flexible.
Come on, man.
Do some Pilates.
Get flexible.
(55:16):
Get in there.
So have what you need ahead of time.
I cannot tell you how many chaotic bitches have tried to set up a session with me and then
look, if you want to do this on Discord so that you can have it on camera, great, fun,
(55:40):
I like, I want to see your outfit.
I want to see you all dressed up.
I love that shit.
That's so much fun.
There's one time somebody calls and you know, there's on Discord and they're talking to
me and they're like, oh, let me get my outfit.
They walk away from their computer.
(56:04):
So all I can see is like a wall and I can hear them kind of moving around because they're
literally off camera somewhere in that room trying to find their stockings.
(56:25):
So maybe, maybe, don't do that.
Have your stuff on hand so that you don't have to stop and pause and be like, hang on, I
have to go find my fishnets.
Okay.
I mean, I can sit here and stare at a wall for a while, but also you do know you pay by the
(56:50):
minute, right?
It's just, it seems wasteful.
You know, it's your money, but also, buddy.
Subbitches are chaotic.
I respect it.
I respect that.
(57:12):
Patty says, "I've done that.
It was only a three-second grab of a dildo and I didn't leave the call."
Oh no, they don't leave the call.
Like I can still hear them.
They can hear me and I try to talk to them.
I'm like, so, you lost your stockings, huh?
(57:33):
This is latest in what's the crazy thing your caller wanted you to do to them on a while
later on camera.
I can't tell you.
(57:54):
I can't tell you that one either.
Okay.
I can probably tell you.
It was very unsafe and I don't recommend that you do it, but it involved a toilet plunger
handle.
(58:15):
But he said, can't for privacy reasons or safety reasons.
Safety.
Also terms of service.
I've seen some things.
Look, I can't tell people to do certain things, but I also don't have the ability to reach
through the internet and make them stop.
So I can tell you, I don't think that's a good idea.
(58:43):
And if they want to keep going, okay.
I can't make you not do that.
I have the best job.
This is latest.
(59:09):
When you said plunger, I got scared.
Yeah, I don't recommend it.
I don't do that.
Please don't do that.
It was very crazy and it definitely left and impression in my mind.
Okay.
(59:31):
Whore School is adult sex education with occasional forays into religious philosophy.
Whore School airs every Sunday evening from 11 to midnight on the East Coast, 8 to 9 on
the West Coast.
If you hit the live show, you can join in.
Go to the chat room, communitykink.com.
(59:56):
I do try to give content warnings before I start talking about things like plungers.
Sometimes that slips through though.
Sorry about that.
Whoops.
Check out my blog, fetishphonesexblog.com.
And my latest post on sissyville.com.
(01:00:17):
I am a professional femdom phone sex mistress.
You can talk to me on the phone.
I'm fun to talk to.
Thank you guys for listening.
I hope you now know a little bit more about how to go about finding yourself a feminization
mistress.
I will talk to you all again next week in October.
(01:00:42):
Good night.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
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