October 6, 2025 • 60 mins
Mistress Harper explains that social media influencers may try to convince you that "Locktober" is aobut 'locking in' on your goals, but they're not exactly correct. Long term chastity can be very fun and even useful, but it's not for everyone. Learn how to figure out what's 'long term' for you, based on your libido and current masturbation habits, and find out why Ms Harper still has a grudge against Puritans and John Calvin.
Do you fear you're addicted to sex or masturbation? Want to use chastity to get over your 'addiction'? Good luck with that, because you're probably not actually addicted and chastity isn't the best 'cure' for that sort of issue anyway.
This episode also includes an extended side discussion about Tantra (Vajrayana Buddhism), in the West and the original form, and why anal orgasms via chastity play kinda don't count as actually being in chastity unless you define your terms really widely.
Whore School is your weekly LIVE adult sex education podcast, hosted by Mistress Harper. You will learn something, and that is a threat. Or a promise.
Do you fear you're addicted to sex or masturbation? Want to use chastity to get over your 'addiction'? Good luck with that, because you're probably not actually addicted and chastity isn't the best 'cure' for that sort of issue anyway.
This episode also includes an extended side discussion about Tantra (Vajrayana Buddhism), in the West and the original form, and why anal orgasms via chastity play kinda don't count as actually being in chastity unless you define your terms really widely.
Whore School is your weekly LIVE adult sex education podcast, hosted by Mistress Harper. You will learn something, and that is a threat. Or a promise.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I do so love my little chime. This is Whore School coming to you live. Tonight, we're
(00:12):
going to be talking about locktober because I just found out influencers are talking
about locktober because they think that this is the perfect month to lock in on your
goals.
So, uh, that's a thing. That's a thing that happens.
(00:44):
Uh, Whore School is adult sex education. You will learn something and that is a threat.
It airs every Sunday evening from 11 to midnight on the east coast, eastern time.
That's eight to nine on the west coast, pacific time. And if you're somewhere in between, um,
(01:07):
that's that is you. You get to figure that shit out.
I've given you two data points. Figure it out.
My goodness. Okay.
Adult sex education because you're grown ass adults and if you're not a grown ass adult,
get the fuck out of here, man.
(01:28):
Shoo.
If you were listening to the live show, please go to communitykink.com. That chat room is open.
There are people in there. We got Patty. Yes, the same patty and Tina Erin.
(01:49):
Patty said, "uh, wait, what? Oh, he's some wild shit I hear when I first log on this time.
It's influencers talk about locked over for a locking in your goals." Yeah.
Kylie has joined us in the chat. Hi, Kylie.
So yeah, um, apparently you've got to really lock in on your goals and and grind to get where you
(02:18):
want to go, and as a devotee of whatever is the opposite of grind culture.
Lazy culture, slack culture. I mean, I'm good with slack. Yeah. No, we're not going to,
we're not going to grind lead us in. We are going to talk about locktober though.
(02:46):
What's the phrasing? Uh, it's the most wonderful time of the year. Don't make me sing it because I will.
Locktober followed by no nut November followed by denial December.
I'm kidding. I'm mostly kidding. It's a joke because it's funny.
(03:12):
So locktober, um, people who are fans of Chastity, um, I mean, it's your, we're coming into the winter.
We're in fall now. We're firmly into fall. We've passed the fall Equinox. It's, it's autumn.
Like we're there. We're heading towards a winter. People are, um, I mean, it's October. You,
(03:38):
mm, it's low hanging fruit for the name of it.
Kylie said, "I celebrate pop and locktober."
And Patty tells us that she celebrates "this is kind of just a normal month for me and I'm too busy with university."
(04:05):
That's fair. For people who have, um, too much time on their hands or not enough to keep
themselves amused or who are just into it. A locktober is a month of Chastity and people who are
interested in long term Chastity might be thinking to themselves, you know what's a good idea?
Long term Chastity.
(04:27):
So
Oh no. Say Patty said, I do some fun Halloween stuff, but I don't go crazy. I do.
It's Halloween.
Like come on. This is, this is our, our opportunity
(04:51):
to be weird and freaky and awesome. Life is short.
Break the rules.
So if you contact me, right? And you say, Mr is Harper, please lock me in Chastity.
(05:13):
I am going to have a few questions for you first. Like, do you have a Chastity device that fits well?
Can any part of your anatomy poke through any part of that Chastity device in a way that it's
not meant to poke through? Your balls are supposed to go through it. Your balls should be hanging
(05:34):
through. The rest of you, no, you should be inside the cage. Is it, um, how, how, how big are you when
you're a flacid? And how big is the cage? Because some of these cage designs are not made for or meant
for long term Chastity. They're not even meant for 24 hours worth of Chastity.
(05:57):
So cut, cut it the shit out. I'm going to ask you, um, what's the longest amount of time that you've
ever been locked in Chastity? Because if your goal is 31 days in a row, great, good goal. But you tell
me that you've never been locked in Chastity that long. Oh, that's a problem. I, I, I want to say
(06:26):
that you up to succeed, not to fail. Patty's over here going. "We snuck in another Chastity episode
very closely after the last one." I know. I was looking at that earlier. I was like, okay, so
one, two, three, four, yeah, five weeks ago, I did a Chastity episode. Whoops. That's fine.
(06:57):
So if you, uh, I have never ever played Chastity before, go listen to 462 Chastity games because that
one's about, you know, like Chastity stuff. Hey, Sissy Addy has joined us here. Hello, ma'am.
Miss, um, so that that episode is more like the basics that you need to know about Chastity.
(07:20):
This episode is long term Chastity. They are different animals.
Patty pointed out it's like this. "Imagine trying to climb Mount Everest without doing any mountaineering
training. You are going to get really hurt." Yeah. So, um, uh, FemDom Friday's last Friday, we wound up
(07:46):
talking about Chastity and one of the, one of the points that I wanted to bring up and I think we
brought it up, but I'm not certain that like we didn't hit it super hard because it's not the kind
of podcast where we go. And now a lecture is, you know, where it's a bunch of ladies sitting around
shooting the shit. Um, some Chastity devices are better than others. For specific tasks.
(08:17):
If what you're looking for is a couple hours of humiliating fun, great. Go for an inverted cage.
If what you want is locktober, oh dear God, please get a not, one of those.
Not a fufu clip, not a button Chastity device, not an inverted fucking Chastity device. Do not do that to your dick.
(08:43):
Do not.
Just know.
Yeah, this is, this is the more like if, if what you're interested in is
(09:04):
having an awful lot of fun, great. Chastity's fun. You should explore it. If what you're interested in is
long term Chastity and long term Chastity for this purposes is, that's locked,
over a whole month of don't touch yourself. Hmm. Okay.
The reason why I'm saying that a whole month is long term, it's because be honest with yourselves.
(09:32):
Dear sweet listeners, everyone out there in the internet who's listening to this.
Every single one of you, you're all listening. I know you're out there. I know that you're like
paying attention and you're doing your stuff and you're having an awful lot of fun.
How often do you touch your dick? How often do you masturbate?
(09:58):
Be honest about this. People's libidos are different. Some people masturbate every day.
Some people masturbate multiple times a day. Some people only jerk off once a week.
If you want to go from I touch myself every single day to, and now I'm locked in Chastity for a solid
(10:30):
month, oh honey, you're not going to have a good time.
You're not going to have fun with that. That's going to suck.
Patty is admitting that she is in the multiple times a day camp maybe.
(10:57):
Yeah, that's probably why Chastity does not appeal to you. If you masturbate a lot,
Chastity is probably not going to be in a lot of fun. For some people who feel like maybe they
masturbate quote too much, unquote, they might be thinking that Chastity could help with that.
(11:20):
Yeah, sure. Kind of.
I don't generally recommend trying to go cold turkey on anything that you may be psychologically
or physically addicted to for multiple reasons.
(11:45):
Miss Addy says, "or or hear me out here. It'll be a great opportunity to get
inventive and explore other fun areas on your body." Yes.
Speaking from experience, you have to build up to long term Chastity.
(12:16):
Patty says, "from Chastity to addiction therapy, welcome to Whore School."
Yeah, this is how we roll here.
It's because there is a certain non-zero subset of men who either are deathly afraid that they
(12:44):
are addicted to sex, sexuality and pleasure and masturbation or who wish they were addicted to sex.
This is the whole thing, which is the thing about that.
So every time I mention being addicted to masturbation, there's a part of me like in the back of my
(13:07):
head going, that's not really a fucking thing. And then at the same time knowing that no, no,
while the vast majority of people who are like, I'm addicted to sex are not.
They're not actually addicted to sex. They just are dramatic.
Patty said, "wait, stay here that right. Wish you were addicted, like hoping to develop an addiction
(13:38):
that she says, you know what, never mind." Yeah, look, the puritanical roots in modern American culture
run real fucking deep and they're real fucking dumb. It's a really fucking dumb.
It does not meet the oftentimes when people say, I'm addicted to masturbating. I'm addicted to
(14:08):
cocks, I'm addicted to sex, whatever it is, it does not meet the clinical definition of addiction.
Like it's, you know, but remember that the general rule of thumb is if it is a problem for you,
then it is a problem and it's worthy of addressing. The problem for all of us, is
(14:38):
purity culture and other fucking John Calvin that prude.
So yeah, Addy said, "it's like me with my panties addiction."
Yeah. So that fucking prude, John Calvin has gotten, like,
(15:06):
there's this underlying idea that if you enjoy sex too much, it's bad. And I don't,
there's no such thing as too much, like too much pleasure. Okay, that's too much fresh air.
(15:30):
I just was watching a bunch of TikToks and the guy who always throws his glasses across the room,
I'm like, I'm so tempted to just start flinging my glasses across the room because seriously,
that's fucking annoying. There's no such thing as too much happiness anyways.
(15:56):
Yeah. No, Patty said "for a period of time, I thought I was addicted to masturbation because
of the multiple days thing. And we were the ones who took me in that it wasn't actually that bad."
(16:17):
Yeah.
You don't forgot the space in my username girl.
Okay, so if it's a problem, it's a problem, if it's not a problem, fuck it. You're fine.
(16:41):
As long as you can manage all the things in your life that need to get taken care of,
who gives a fuck? But yes, if you want to go from I masturbate multiple times a day to locked in
Chastity, you are not going to have a very good time. By the time day number say three rolls around,
(17:03):
he, he, he, you'll fail. You will unlock that Chastity device.
I've seen it happen so many times.
For most people who have never been locked in Chastity for longer than 24 hours,
three days is a really long time. Like if that's your goal locked in Chastity for three whole days,
(17:30):
great. That's a meetable goal. Short enough that you can actually get there long enough that,
oh yeah, you know what Chastity is like now. Oh yeah, you, you, you, you, you're gonna start feeling
it in the middle of day two and it's gonna drive you bonkers by the time day three is over like,
hmm, trust me. Voice of experience. I have watched it happen so many times and you may be tempted
(17:58):
to be like, well, I can last one more day. Can you, can you?
I, I support you. Well, let's last one more day. Sure. That's a fun challenge.
(18:22):
I'm just saying, just putting that out there. Just reminding you.
So if you really, really, really, really, really want to try locked hope or may I suggest mental
(18:44):
Chastity, just don't touch yourself. No masturbation. You don't have to have a Chastity device to be
in Chastity. Chastity is refraining from masturbation or sex or both.
(19:06):
And it is refraining from so you can't really be said to be chaste or in Chastity if you can't masturbate
because say you broke both your arms, right? You're not refraining from masturbation. You literally can't.
(19:30):
So if you take a medication that has resulted in, like it, some medications will
tank your libido and you're just not interested so you don't masturbate. That's also not Chastity.
You're not in Chastity and you're not being chaste because you haven't chosen to refrain.
(19:55):
You took a medication that had a side effect. If you weren't on that medication in the same situation
and the urge arose, you would choose to indulge. It's the choice that makes it into Chastity, right?
(20:23):
Patty says, "I think I remember you saying something about not worrying about the length of time
and focusing more on how much you're skipping. Like if you only masturbate once per week, then a full
month is a good challenge. If you masturbate three times a day, two days is skipping six sessions."
And she says, "I don't know if I'm misremembering that at all." That's a pretty good rule of thumb.
(20:47):
It's individualized. It's based on how sexually active are you? How often do you masturbate? How long does
it last when you masturbate? Are you, like, king of the quickies? Is this all two minutes and you're done?
Shooting off all the time or like, how many hours a day are you spending touching your dick?
(21:13):
Yeah, Tina says, "I'm doing a pause right now." The cage was painful this night. Yeah, if it hurts, stop.
Patty says, "I guess technically I've done mental Chastity. For the days I've done phone sessions,
(21:33):
I didn't masturbate for the whole day beforehand because I kind of wanted to guarantee I'd be horny
for the call." Yeah, that's mental Chastity. You have chosen to refrain. That's the phrasing that we need.
You've chosen deliberately to refrain from masturbation or sex for a set period of time. You don't need
(21:55):
a Chastity device to be chaste, to be in Chastity. You just need to not jerk off. Stop touching it.
So some people find Chastity devices painful, restrictive, annoying, expensive.
(22:21):
Like, there's a bunch of reasons why some people are like, "I'm not gonna buy a Chastity cage
because yikes, it sounds like a terrible concept." That's fair. You can do mental Chastity.
And in fact, if you've never ever engaged in Chastity before, try mental Chastity first, dumbass.
(22:42):
I mean, I love you. I like, I respect you. And I want to support you in all of your sexual goals.
But I also want to help encourage you to make smart decisions. And sometimes the smart choice is just
don't jerk off. Just stop for a little bit. Look back over your life. And then determine what's the
(23:05):
longest amount of time that you've gone without masturbation? How long can you last?
Kylie said 47 minutes and, uh, Sadegas, Silla, Degas. I'm gonna learn how to speak fucking Gaelic,
(23:29):
said three days. Okay, double that. Kylie is gonna be aiming for an hour and a half.
Silla, Degas is gonna go for, uh, like, six days. Maybe a week.
That's a good challenge. That is a challenge to get you there.
(23:55):
Yeah, Kylie says, I'll be done by midnight. Right? Just be honest with yourself about how long you can last
before you give in and then push that a little bit. Just try it for like a day.
(24:18):
Silla said, I jacked off eight times in seven hours of first time I saw Jenna Jameson.
Patty said, "I think the longest was four days. Although it was because I was on a trip with family
and there was literally, literally no alone time or space." So I'd call that chastity. Yeah, but it's
(24:40):
still fucking counts. You made it through four days and it did not cause you to spontaneously
combust. Like it didn't completely destroy you right off the bat. You were okay.
You made it through. That's the important part.
(25:03):
There are people and there have been clients that I've spoken to who have been in
Chastity for much, much longer than just 30 days.
Much longer than 30 years. Years. And some of these people were not what I would call a person with a low
(25:42):
libido libido urge.
Silla said anyone who goes more than four days without ejaculating is gonna end up a Catholic priest.
It's not that hard. It's not that difficult. And also priests are allowed to masturbate.
(26:11):
Yeah, Kylie said the only time I was ever in Chastity was in college. If I could do it with my 19-year-old
libido, I would think my libido would make it much easier now. And Patty is afraid of years of
Chastity and kind of person who could do that. It's not that difficult. It's not hard. It's just
(26:38):
some people have different goals, different things that they want to accomplish.
Some people find being in Chastity comforting. That's fair. They're allowed.
Patty said of course it's not hard. You're in a cage, but what about the difficulty?
(27:05):
Well, it's not difficult either.
Sometimes people who are interested in exploring Chastity, they only want to play with this idea
(27:31):
for a couple hours. That's fine. Some people really want to explore the idea of letting someone else
control and own their sex and sexuality, their masturbation, and their literal genitalia.
Some people get off of that. Some people enjoy the idea of being the one who owns and controls
(27:57):
and directs all of that. Addy said, "Sometimes I think I'm the most asexual hypersexual person
out there because I really like sexy stuff and I'm rather slutty, I suppose, but I'm really
(28:17):
cool with being without sexy time. People go, "OMG. I haven't had sex in three months. I'm going
insane and I'm just, "Huh." And Silda wants to know if I like to be in control. Yeah.
Tina said, "This holiday, I've done a tracking trip with a sleeping and a tent and I didn't masturbate
(28:45):
for two weeks." Apparently the idea that I like to be in control made Silda's
dick hard. We don't have that kind of a relationship.
So, different people have different levels of libido. I keep saying it like that, libido.
(29:16):
So, for example, Miss Addy, who it varies, very dirty, very slutty, perfectly okay, with not
fucking for a while. Great. And then there's Patty, who apparently
touches themselves a lot. And I would bet that Silda also jerks off a whole lot.
(29:42):
I'm just guessing here, wherever it is that your level of libido is, that's going to tell you how
difficult chastity would be for you personally. And if you really want to challenge yourself,
if you really, really want to challenge yourself, mental chastity is where it's at.
(30:09):
Patty said, "Serious though, years without sex. Is that ludicrous and unhuman?" Nope. Asexual people exist.
Man respect to Asexual people. I have a friend of mine who is a very Asexual.
They do not want to have sex with people because it's gross.
They masturbate. But they also have a very low libido. So they masturbate
(30:38):
like once a month. And I was talking with them. They said that the last time they had sex was in 2004.
So 21 years. And Patty said, "Of course, for non-Asexual people, it's a scale."
You know, it's a spectrum. It's not a binary on or off. There's a spectrum in between
(31:06):
ranging from people who are perfectly okay with never fucking. And then people who
can't go more than like an hour without touching their junk. And most people are somewhere in between.
And even people who have a high libido can learn to be okay with not acting on it.
(31:27):
They don't have to act on it. And they can be perfectly okay if they don't act on it.
If they have, if they're chased.
And Patty was talking about, there was some sort of a Netflix show. A Netflix reality show
(31:50):
where the only premise was for people to not have sex.
As if that's hard. So hard. Oh my god. We're just horny all the time.
And Patty said that show was kind of insensitive to ace people.
(32:11):
Like imagine how challenging it is to not fuck as if that's the default for everyone.
And when Patty said it was too hot to handle. And it was deeply weird. Well, hey, look at that.
Prisoner to Camerie has joined us in your holiday.
(32:33):
Ms. Addy said I would totally have sex daily multiple times a day really. But I can survive without it.
I mean, sex is on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. But I think it's a misnomer. I think it should be
(32:54):
intimacy. And I think that it's more encompasses things like emotional intimacy and maybe hugs.
Because a lack of sex is not going to make you drop over dead. It's not on the level of like if I
don't have access to water, eventually I die, right? If I don't have access to sex, you just get sad.
(33:21):
Which sucks. But it's not anywhere near on the same level. And Tina said "I think the last time I had
penetrative sex was 12 years ago. But I'm good with masturbation." Yeah, I mean, you can get all the good
positive benefits of sex through solo sex. Get touch yourself. Yeah, got it. You got to get okay with
(33:50):
self-love, babies. But if your goal is chastity and you want to play with locktober,
masturbation is also off the table. Sorry.
Kylie said I did a reality show where nobody had sex. It was called an all boys Catholic school.
(34:16):
And Prisoners that actually kindly I bet some of those boys did have sex. Yeah, they probably did.
I mean, come on. They gay.
Addy is shocked. She said, "wait, what? It is what? Which part?"
(34:43):
She said, "I thought it was just the cage." Yeah, no masturbation. To some people like actual,
actual chastity is no masturbation, no sex, no sexual pleasure. Like to be chaste is to choose to
refrain from sex and masturbation. She says, "but, but, butt stuff" -is cheating.
(35:25):
I didn't see this. "Well, I can masturbate with a vibrator on a cage." So yeah, let's go there.
A chatter said, I think this is just a silly challenge.
Okay, so the strict definition of chastity,
(35:48):
to refrain from sex and masturbation. Some people do still masturbate despite being locked in a chastity device.
Technically, they're just using a chastity device in order to change the way they masturbate.
(36:08):
They're still masturbating. They still get off. They're just locked in chastity while they do it.
Or more accurately, they are locked in a chastity device while they're doing it.
And that opens a different conversation altogether. And this is when I start to tell you all about
(36:29):
butt stuff. Okay, I practice Tantra, like, Vajrayana, Tantra. It's nowhere near as much sex as you think.
Let me get out in front of that. Western 'tantra' is sex. It's fucking.
(36:54):
It's lots and lots of fucking with vague veneers of mindfulness gooped on top.
People who have a penis and testicles, when they practice Tantra, a big part of Tantra is
(37:17):
semen retention. Now, this is because Tantra draws a line between ejaculation and orgasm.
See, Prisoner said "tantra is a fancy word for fore play." Incorrect. You're wrong.
Tantra is Vajrayana. It's one of the three major schools of Buddhism. It is an entire ass religion
(37:42):
and a set of spiritual practices. So in Tantra, ejaculation,
the juice comes out your nuts, squirts through your dick, and orgasm, feelings of ecstasy,
are two different things. And it turns out there really are two different things. And I can prove it to you.
(38:07):
That's a good attempt at spelling that, you know. I'm going to type this in.
Vajrayana, v-a, v-a-j, Vajrayana.
Let me make sure that I actually spelled that correctly.
(38:32):
Yep, I sure did.
V-a-j, r-a-y-a-n-a. Vajrayana is Tantric Buddhism. It's a major branch of Mahyana Buddhism.
The goal of Vajrayana, as is the goal of any of the major schools of Buddhism is to attain enlightenment.
(38:55):
The sexy parts of tantra, that's because western people are fucking perverts who are deeply repressed
because of fucking John Calvin.
And Patty's like, "I'm not interested in this." Okay.
(39:20):
So, ejaculation and orgasm are two completely different things, and I can prove to you that orgasm
and ejaculation are different things by locking you in chastity and playing with your prostate.
You will not get hard. You will not ejaculate in the same way that you normally do.
(39:43):
You can orgasm, though. Especially if I shove an E-stim probe up your ass and goose you
just right. You'll come. Actually, if I shove an E-stim probe up your ass and goose and electrocute
the hell out of your prostate, you will also ejaculate, and it'll probably feel pretty intense.
(40:12):
For truly learning how to orgasm without ejaculation, we're gonna have to get you very, very horny
and keep you that way for a couple hours while slowly building you up and guiding you through some
(40:32):
very specific breathing patterns while you're locked in chastity. And in this particular case,
the chastity cage is there to be a tool to help you, it's like training wheels,
so that you can get past the tendency to get very, very horny and then touch your dick.
(40:53):
If it's locked in a device, what are you masturbating? Nothing. You're gonna sit here and you're going
to breathe deeply while feeling all sorts of fun things until you orgasm or attain enlightenment.
Whichever comes first!
So, yes, technically, chastity is about refraining from sex and masturbation.
(41:32):
And, chatter is like, "Oh, that made me tingle." Yeah, it's supposed to. So, refraining from sex and
masturbation doesn't necessarily mean refraining from orgasm. And one thing that an awful lot of people
like to do, especially in the West, this is not Tantra, by the way. Some people might call it
(41:57):
'tantra', but that's, they're using words wrong. Some people like to be locked in chastity so that
then they can, oh, say, put a vibrator on the cage, that provides stimulation and play with their
butt until they make a sissy gasm. They have a prostate-based orgasm or penetration orgasm.
(42:24):
Often times, all of those do result in some form of ejaculation, which means it's still not Tantra.
Tantra is about semen retention. You do not ejaculate. You can orgasm, but you cannot ejaculate.
(42:50):
They're different fucking things. For the vast majority of people, especially in the West,
in America, in Canada, and, you know, Europe, us white people, orgasm and ejaculation are the same thing.
They don't have to be. This is why women can be multi-orgasmic, because we don't ejaculate.
(43:10):
And if we do, we squirt, which is physiologically the same as ejaculation.
Just we don't have external testes to spew forth lots and lots of gametes.
We have internal gametophores that produce eggs, and usually only one at a time.
(43:42):
By scale, so it's slightly easier for women to practice tantra than it is for men.
Fun side effect, though, is the fact that the reason why in Tantra men are supposed to practice
(44:02):
semen retention is because it is believed within that cultural societal structure. The belief is
that a man's vitality, strength and power are in the literal semen.
And that when he ejaculates, he loses strength, vitality and power.
(44:25):
And if he ejaculates into a woman, he gives that strength, vitality and power to the woman.
Instead of keeping it all for himself.
This is the case. "Shooting eggs will look cool, though."
We do that once a month.
So kind of joke is probably literally only funny to me.
(44:54):
It's a menstruation joke.
Tina's "another you talk about squirting.
I wonder if you have a refractory period like ejaculation after squirting."
Some women do.
Some women can just keep on going.
It does dehydrate you pretty good, though.
(45:15):
It's a lot of fluid.
You're going to be thirsty afterwards.
It's not pee.
Although I will point out to you, if you go look up squirting porn
(45:36):
on whatever your favorite porn site is,
is a non-zero number of those that are not actually squirting.
Put that out there, anyway.
Moving quickly along.
Yes, technically there's a refractory period.
(46:03):
And Patty's a whore all over the place with topics tonight.
Welcome to Whore School where you're going to learn something.
I don't know what exactly you're going to learn.
It may not be the lesson that I thought I was sitting down to teach.
(46:24):
Patty said "we're all over the place with topics tonight.
I counted seven."
Yeah.
Tina said, "well, usually it's Patty who do derails at the show?"
(46:53):
Right?
Okay.
So,
Chastity involves refraining from sex and masturbation.
Some people use a chastity device in order to masturbate in very specific ways.
(47:21):
Because anal orgasms are easier to attain when you use a chastity device.
That's why.
Okay, so does that still count as chastity?
But it depends on how much of a purist you want to be with your definitions.
(47:45):
[laughs]
If you want to be an absolute purist with your definitions, then yeah, if you
lock yourself in chastity and fuck yourself in the ass until you squirt everywhere,
that doesn't count.
You're just very dirty.
(48:07):
You're a pervert.
You're a fetishist.
God love you.
Like, yes, love that.
Please use your chastity device in non-standard ways.
I'm here for it.
If you are a definition purist,
(48:30):
don't play with that ass.
That counts.
Tina said that "I was searching for the Locktober definition and Wikipedia has a page for Locktober."
Yeah, it's a cultural phenomenon.
(48:58):
"How do you say every question could be boiled down to this exact as why?
Where x and y literally anything and the answer to all of those questions is it depends."
Yeah.
It depends on how broadly you define your terms.
There's a reason why, awful lot of the Whore School episodes, I start off by defining the terms.
(49:26):
One, so that we all know what I mean when I say words.
And two, because otherwise we are floating in a sea of one miscommunication.
And just also anything could be anything.
It could be anything.
(49:47):
Tina, "it from Wikipedia, search interest in Locktober has climbed steadily since 2016 with Google
Trend showing that 2024 generated nearly double the engagement of prior years."
(50:07):
Part of that is because remember at the very beginning of the episode I said Locktober is not what
influencers online want you to think it is.
It's because last year and this year, a whole bunch of people on TikTok were like,
it's locktober time to lock in on your goals.
Nope.
(50:30):
Nope.
No.
Patty said "as I'm taking discrete math and part of that is defining sets and lists of things to use for
(50:51):
proofs. Like I'm not kidding, defining terms to use for understanding is actually something that's
part of my class." I love formal logic. Like I'm a fan of formal fucking logic and using the rules of
logic to help with getting very clear about what I want to communicate.
(51:11):
Yes.
He said, "Haha, did the TikTokers stumble on the BDSM Locktober?" I think they probably saw the word
somewhere and were like, "Hah, I could use that." And then went for it. And there was more than one
(51:38):
influencer who was talking about, like it was really, really big, especially in the body builder community.
So it's a bunch of gymbros and like fitness TikTokers, or like it's time to lock in on your goals
for locktober. I remember this last year of laughing, my fucking asshole.
(52:04):
Because yeah, that was fucking funny.
[laughs]
Yeah, sure. Locktober and no-nut November is about avoiding soy milk
(52:30):
and almond milk. Because it's no-nut, right? No nuts. Just avoid them.
Fucking no. If they actually pick that up and run with it, I quit. I am done.
(52:50):
Celedagas, he says, "No coconut, either."
Oh, God.
So let's say that you have now accepted and you understand.
(53:14):
Locktober is about chastity.
Not locking in to your goals. I mean, you can. Sure.
All the rest of us are going to be laughing at you for that because it's fucking funny.
(53:37):
[laughs]
Oh, God.
If you have never explored chastity before, you should.
Especially, and this is just my personal philosophy on life.
(54:00):
If there is something out there that makes you especially like anxious or scared or nervous,
but it won't hurt you in any way whatsoever.
Dude, try it.
"See, it is that I'm locking to my goal to go full-month in chastity."
(54:24):
[laughs]
Heck, yes. Yes.
Okay, so if you are, like the thought of, just don't masturbate.
If that makes you feel anxious, if it's as scary as hell a little bit, then lean into that.
(54:45):
Do that.
You know? Just, [laughs]
go for it.
Identify for yourself what's the longest amount of time that you've been able to personally last
without jerking off? Can you go a little bit longer?
(55:08):
Like as a personal challenge?
It doesn't hurt you.
It might feel like discomfort, but honestly as part of your everyday routine,
learning to tolerate discomfort is kind of a very important life skill for adult human beings to have.
(55:31):
Discomfort tolerance is a thing.
Patty said, "Don't get your sex advice from random people online, except Ms. Harper. She doesn't count."
Damn straight. I'm not a random person online. I'm me.
(55:54):
[laughs]
So, okay. You should learn to tolerate discomfort and you should learn to tolerate boredom.
The way that social media is set up nowadays, you can just doom scroll for hours on end and see
something new every time you move your thumb. New, new, new. Boredom is something that you need to
(56:21):
be able to tolerate without feeling like you're going to rip your own skin off just as a fucking
human being. If you cannot tolerate boredom or discomfort or the vague sensation of, "Hmm, I'm horny."
I just, just picture me holding your hands very gently and looking at you right in the eyes and telling
(56:46):
you that you have a problem. You have got to get okay with boredom, discomfort, and feeling
vaguely horny. So, try to expand the length of time that you can comfortably last between masturbation
(57:15):
sessions. Work on reading long form fiction, possibly in the form of an actual physical book
that you got from the library and you can only have for two weeks. So, you need to hurry up and
finish this so you can give it back without getting a fee. Sit quietly in a quiet room for extended periods
(57:44):
of time and get comfortable with your own fucking thoughts. Entertain yourself. Think deep thoughts
about stuff. Maybe pick up a copy of like Kant or Kierkegaard or Scanlon at your local library.
It's complex. It's dense. It's wordy. Oh, it's difficult to read. You're probably going to be bored.
(58:13):
Read it. Think about it while not masturbating.
Get comfortable with discomfort and that includes chastity.
S has joined us in here tonight. Just pop in right at the end.
(58:40):
Patty said "I was so close to going the whole episode with no confrontations from Ms. Harper explains
how and why I'm doing life wrong, but dammit." She says, "I thought I was safe." You're never safe.
Not from me. Dun, dun, dun. Okay, so this is why you should try long form
(59:06):
chastity, even if the idea of that makes you uncomfortable. Tough shit. Dude, anyway, it's good for you.
Whore School is adult sex education. Please head to our discord server and join us over there at
discord.gg/EnchantrixEmpire. Come play with us. We don't bite unless you ask us to.
(59:36):
Check out my blog, fetishphonesexblog.com. It is also Halloween. That means the Halloween
blogtrain is going and if you haven't been following along, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Go to mistressofmore.com with Ms. Kay Marie. That's where it started. Follow the links. They're all
linked together. It's spooky, fun, erotica. Whore School is adult, sex education focused on no shame,
(01:00:03):
no guilt, no fear. Well, maybe a little bit of fear. You're allowed to be slightly afraid.
Yeah, I'm Harper. Thank you guys for listening tonight.
Yeah, I want to lock you in chastity because it's fun. Thank you all for listening and I will
see you all again next week. Good night.
(01:00:27):
[BLANK_AUDIO]
I do so love my little chime. This is Whore School coming to you live. Tonight, we're
(00:12):
going to be talking about locktober because I just found out influencers are talking
about locktober because they think that this is the perfect month to lock in on your
goals.
So, uh, that's a thing. That's a thing that happens.
(00:44):
Uh, Whore School is adult sex education. You will learn something and that is a threat.
It airs every Sunday evening from 11 to midnight on the east coast, eastern time.
That's eight to nine on the west coast, pacific time. And if you're somewhere in between, um,
(01:07):
that's that is you. You get to figure that shit out.
I've given you two data points. Figure it out.
My goodness. Okay.
Adult sex education because you're grown ass adults and if you're not a grown ass adult,
get the fuck out of here, man.
(01:28):
Shoo.
If you were listening to the live show, please go to communitykink.com. That chat room is open.
There are people in there. We got Patty. Yes, the same patty and Tina Erin.
(01:49):
Patty said, "uh, wait, what? Oh, he's some wild shit I hear when I first log on this time.
It's influencers talk about locked over for a locking in your goals." Yeah.
Kylie has joined us in the chat. Hi, Kylie.
So yeah, um, apparently you've got to really lock in on your goals and and grind to get where you
(02:18):
want to go, and as a devotee of whatever is the opposite of grind culture.
Lazy culture, slack culture. I mean, I'm good with slack. Yeah. No, we're not going to,
we're not going to grind lead us in. We are going to talk about locktober though.
(02:46):
What's the phrasing? Uh, it's the most wonderful time of the year. Don't make me sing it because I will.
Locktober followed by no nut November followed by denial December.
I'm kidding. I'm mostly kidding. It's a joke because it's funny.
(03:12):
So locktober, um, people who are fans of Chastity, um, I mean, it's your, we're coming into the winter.
We're in fall now. We're firmly into fall. We've passed the fall Equinox. It's, it's autumn.
Like we're there. We're heading towards a winter. People are, um, I mean, it's October. You,
(03:38):
mm, it's low hanging fruit for the name of it.
Kylie said, "I celebrate pop and locktober."
And Patty tells us that she celebrates "this is kind of just a normal month for me and I'm too busy with university."
(04:05):
That's fair. For people who have, um, too much time on their hands or not enough to keep
themselves amused or who are just into it. A locktober is a month of Chastity and people who are
interested in long term Chastity might be thinking to themselves, you know what's a good idea?
Long term Chastity.
(04:27):
So
Oh no. Say Patty said, I do some fun Halloween stuff, but I don't go crazy. I do.
It's Halloween.
Like come on. This is, this is our, our opportunity
(04:51):
to be weird and freaky and awesome. Life is short.
Break the rules.
So if you contact me, right? And you say, Mr is Harper, please lock me in Chastity.
(05:13):
I am going to have a few questions for you first. Like, do you have a Chastity device that fits well?
Can any part of your anatomy poke through any part of that Chastity device in a way that it's
not meant to poke through? Your balls are supposed to go through it. Your balls should be hanging
(05:34):
through. The rest of you, no, you should be inside the cage. Is it, um, how, how, how big are you when
you're a flacid? And how big is the cage? Because some of these cage designs are not made for or meant
for long term Chastity. They're not even meant for 24 hours worth of Chastity.
(05:57):
So cut, cut it the shit out. I'm going to ask you, um, what's the longest amount of time that you've
ever been locked in Chastity? Because if your goal is 31 days in a row, great, good goal. But you tell
me that you've never been locked in Chastity that long. Oh, that's a problem. I, I, I want to say
(06:26):
that you up to succeed, not to fail. Patty's over here going. "We snuck in another Chastity episode
very closely after the last one." I know. I was looking at that earlier. I was like, okay, so
one, two, three, four, yeah, five weeks ago, I did a Chastity episode. Whoops. That's fine.
(06:57):
So if you, uh, I have never ever played Chastity before, go listen to 462 Chastity games because that
one's about, you know, like Chastity stuff. Hey, Sissy Addy has joined us here. Hello, ma'am.
Miss, um, so that that episode is more like the basics that you need to know about Chastity.
(07:20):
This episode is long term Chastity. They are different animals.
Patty pointed out it's like this. "Imagine trying to climb Mount Everest without doing any mountaineering
training. You are going to get really hurt." Yeah. So, um, uh, FemDom Friday's last Friday, we wound up
(07:46):
talking about Chastity and one of the, one of the points that I wanted to bring up and I think we
brought it up, but I'm not certain that like we didn't hit it super hard because it's not the kind
of podcast where we go. And now a lecture is, you know, where it's a bunch of ladies sitting around
shooting the shit. Um, some Chastity devices are better than others. For specific tasks.
(08:17):
If what you're looking for is a couple hours of humiliating fun, great. Go for an inverted cage.
If what you want is locktober, oh dear God, please get a not, one of those.
Not a fufu clip, not a button Chastity device, not an inverted fucking Chastity device. Do not do that to your dick.
(08:43):
Do not.
Just know.
Yeah, this is, this is the more like if, if what you're interested in is
(09:04):
having an awful lot of fun, great. Chastity's fun. You should explore it. If what you're interested in is
long term Chastity and long term Chastity for this purposes is, that's locked,
over a whole month of don't touch yourself. Hmm. Okay.
The reason why I'm saying that a whole month is long term, it's because be honest with yourselves.
(09:32):
Dear sweet listeners, everyone out there in the internet who's listening to this.
Every single one of you, you're all listening. I know you're out there. I know that you're like
paying attention and you're doing your stuff and you're having an awful lot of fun.
How often do you touch your dick? How often do you masturbate?
(09:58):
Be honest about this. People's libidos are different. Some people masturbate every day.
Some people masturbate multiple times a day. Some people only jerk off once a week.
If you want to go from I touch myself every single day to, and now I'm locked in Chastity for a solid
(10:30):
month, oh honey, you're not going to have a good time.
You're not going to have fun with that. That's going to suck.
Patty is admitting that she is in the multiple times a day camp maybe.
(10:57):
Yeah, that's probably why Chastity does not appeal to you. If you masturbate a lot,
Chastity is probably not going to be in a lot of fun. For some people who feel like maybe they
masturbate quote too much, unquote, they might be thinking that Chastity could help with that.
(11:20):
Yeah, sure. Kind of.
I don't generally recommend trying to go cold turkey on anything that you may be psychologically
or physically addicted to for multiple reasons.
(11:45):
Miss Addy says, "or or hear me out here. It'll be a great opportunity to get
inventive and explore other fun areas on your body." Yes.
Speaking from experience, you have to build up to long term Chastity.
(12:16):
Patty says, "from Chastity to addiction therapy, welcome to Whore School."
Yeah, this is how we roll here.
It's because there is a certain non-zero subset of men who either are deathly afraid that they
(12:44):
are addicted to sex, sexuality and pleasure and masturbation or who wish they were addicted to sex.
This is the whole thing, which is the thing about that.
So every time I mention being addicted to masturbation, there's a part of me like in the back of my
(13:07):
head going, that's not really a fucking thing. And then at the same time knowing that no, no,
while the vast majority of people who are like, I'm addicted to sex are not.
They're not actually addicted to sex. They just are dramatic.
Patty said, "wait, stay here that right. Wish you were addicted, like hoping to develop an addiction
(13:38):
that she says, you know what, never mind." Yeah, look, the puritanical roots in modern American culture
run real fucking deep and they're real fucking dumb. It's a really fucking dumb.
It does not meet the oftentimes when people say, I'm addicted to masturbating. I'm addicted to
(14:08):
cocks, I'm addicted to sex, whatever it is, it does not meet the clinical definition of addiction.
Like it's, you know, but remember that the general rule of thumb is if it is a problem for you,
then it is a problem and it's worthy of addressing. The problem for all of us, is
(14:38):
purity culture and other fucking John Calvin that prude.
So yeah, Addy said, "it's like me with my panties addiction."
Yeah. So that fucking prude, John Calvin has gotten, like,
(15:06):
there's this underlying idea that if you enjoy sex too much, it's bad. And I don't,
there's no such thing as too much, like too much pleasure. Okay, that's too much fresh air.
(15:30):
I just was watching a bunch of TikToks and the guy who always throws his glasses across the room,
I'm like, I'm so tempted to just start flinging my glasses across the room because seriously,
that's fucking annoying. There's no such thing as too much happiness anyways.
(15:56):
Yeah. No, Patty said "for a period of time, I thought I was addicted to masturbation because
of the multiple days thing. And we were the ones who took me in that it wasn't actually that bad."
(16:17):
Yeah.
You don't forgot the space in my username girl.
Okay, so if it's a problem, it's a problem, if it's not a problem, fuck it. You're fine.
(16:41):
As long as you can manage all the things in your life that need to get taken care of,
who gives a fuck? But yes, if you want to go from I masturbate multiple times a day to locked in
Chastity, you are not going to have a very good time. By the time day number say three rolls around,
(17:03):
he, he, he, you'll fail. You will unlock that Chastity device.
I've seen it happen so many times.
For most people who have never been locked in Chastity for longer than 24 hours,
three days is a really long time. Like if that's your goal locked in Chastity for three whole days,
(17:30):
great. That's a meetable goal. Short enough that you can actually get there long enough that,
oh yeah, you know what Chastity is like now. Oh yeah, you, you, you, you, you're gonna start feeling
it in the middle of day two and it's gonna drive you bonkers by the time day three is over like,
hmm, trust me. Voice of experience. I have watched it happen so many times and you may be tempted
(17:58):
to be like, well, I can last one more day. Can you, can you?
I, I support you. Well, let's last one more day. Sure. That's a fun challenge.
(18:22):
I'm just saying, just putting that out there. Just reminding you.
So if you really, really, really, really, really want to try locked hope or may I suggest mental
(18:44):
Chastity, just don't touch yourself. No masturbation. You don't have to have a Chastity device to be
in Chastity. Chastity is refraining from masturbation or sex or both.
(19:06):
And it is refraining from so you can't really be said to be chaste or in Chastity if you can't masturbate
because say you broke both your arms, right? You're not refraining from masturbation. You literally can't.
(19:30):
So if you take a medication that has resulted in, like it, some medications will
tank your libido and you're just not interested so you don't masturbate. That's also not Chastity.
You're not in Chastity and you're not being chaste because you haven't chosen to refrain.
(19:55):
You took a medication that had a side effect. If you weren't on that medication in the same situation
and the urge arose, you would choose to indulge. It's the choice that makes it into Chastity, right?
(20:23):
Patty says, "I think I remember you saying something about not worrying about the length of time
and focusing more on how much you're skipping. Like if you only masturbate once per week, then a full
month is a good challenge. If you masturbate three times a day, two days is skipping six sessions."
And she says, "I don't know if I'm misremembering that at all." That's a pretty good rule of thumb.
(20:47):
It's individualized. It's based on how sexually active are you? How often do you masturbate? How long does
it last when you masturbate? Are you, like, king of the quickies? Is this all two minutes and you're done?
Shooting off all the time or like, how many hours a day are you spending touching your dick?
(21:13):
Yeah, Tina says, "I'm doing a pause right now." The cage was painful this night. Yeah, if it hurts, stop.
Patty says, "I guess technically I've done mental Chastity. For the days I've done phone sessions,
(21:33):
I didn't masturbate for the whole day beforehand because I kind of wanted to guarantee I'd be horny
for the call." Yeah, that's mental Chastity. You have chosen to refrain. That's the phrasing that we need.
You've chosen deliberately to refrain from masturbation or sex for a set period of time. You don't need
(21:55):
a Chastity device to be chaste, to be in Chastity. You just need to not jerk off. Stop touching it.
So some people find Chastity devices painful, restrictive, annoying, expensive.
(22:21):
Like, there's a bunch of reasons why some people are like, "I'm not gonna buy a Chastity cage
because yikes, it sounds like a terrible concept." That's fair. You can do mental Chastity.
And in fact, if you've never ever engaged in Chastity before, try mental Chastity first, dumbass.
(22:42):
I mean, I love you. I like, I respect you. And I want to support you in all of your sexual goals.
But I also want to help encourage you to make smart decisions. And sometimes the smart choice is just
don't jerk off. Just stop for a little bit. Look back over your life. And then determine what's the
(23:05):
longest amount of time that you've gone without masturbation? How long can you last?
Kylie said 47 minutes and, uh, Sadegas, Silla, Degas. I'm gonna learn how to speak fucking Gaelic,
(23:29):
said three days. Okay, double that. Kylie is gonna be aiming for an hour and a half.
Silla, Degas is gonna go for, uh, like, six days. Maybe a week.
That's a good challenge. That is a challenge to get you there.
(23:55):
Yeah, Kylie says, I'll be done by midnight. Right? Just be honest with yourself about how long you can last
before you give in and then push that a little bit. Just try it for like a day.
(24:18):
Silla said, I jacked off eight times in seven hours of first time I saw Jenna Jameson.
Patty said, "I think the longest was four days. Although it was because I was on a trip with family
and there was literally, literally no alone time or space." So I'd call that chastity. Yeah, but it's
(24:40):
still fucking counts. You made it through four days and it did not cause you to spontaneously
combust. Like it didn't completely destroy you right off the bat. You were okay.
You made it through. That's the important part.
(25:03):
There are people and there have been clients that I've spoken to who have been in
Chastity for much, much longer than just 30 days.
Much longer than 30 years. Years. And some of these people were not what I would call a person with a low
(25:42):
libido libido urge.
Silla said anyone who goes more than four days without ejaculating is gonna end up a Catholic priest.
It's not that hard. It's not that difficult. And also priests are allowed to masturbate.
(26:11):
Yeah, Kylie said the only time I was ever in Chastity was in college. If I could do it with my 19-year-old
libido, I would think my libido would make it much easier now. And Patty is afraid of years of
Chastity and kind of person who could do that. It's not that difficult. It's not hard. It's just
(26:38):
some people have different goals, different things that they want to accomplish.
Some people find being in Chastity comforting. That's fair. They're allowed.
Patty said of course it's not hard. You're in a cage, but what about the difficulty?
(27:05):
Well, it's not difficult either.
Sometimes people who are interested in exploring Chastity, they only want to play with this idea
(27:31):
for a couple hours. That's fine. Some people really want to explore the idea of letting someone else
control and own their sex and sexuality, their masturbation, and their literal genitalia.
Some people get off of that. Some people enjoy the idea of being the one who owns and controls
(27:57):
and directs all of that. Addy said, "Sometimes I think I'm the most asexual hypersexual person
out there because I really like sexy stuff and I'm rather slutty, I suppose, but I'm really
(28:17):
cool with being without sexy time. People go, "OMG. I haven't had sex in three months. I'm going
insane and I'm just, "Huh." And Silda wants to know if I like to be in control. Yeah.
Tina said, "This holiday, I've done a tracking trip with a sleeping and a tent and I didn't masturbate
(28:45):
for two weeks." Apparently the idea that I like to be in control made Silda's
dick hard. We don't have that kind of a relationship.
So, different people have different levels of libido. I keep saying it like that, libido.
(29:16):
So, for example, Miss Addy, who it varies, very dirty, very slutty, perfectly okay, with not
fucking for a while. Great. And then there's Patty, who apparently
touches themselves a lot. And I would bet that Silda also jerks off a whole lot.
(29:42):
I'm just guessing here, wherever it is that your level of libido is, that's going to tell you how
difficult chastity would be for you personally. And if you really want to challenge yourself,
if you really, really want to challenge yourself, mental chastity is where it's at.
(30:09):
Patty said, "Serious though, years without sex. Is that ludicrous and unhuman?" Nope. Asexual people exist.
Man respect to Asexual people. I have a friend of mine who is a very Asexual.
They do not want to have sex with people because it's gross.
They masturbate. But they also have a very low libido. So they masturbate
(30:38):
like once a month. And I was talking with them. They said that the last time they had sex was in 2004.
So 21 years. And Patty said, "Of course, for non-Asexual people, it's a scale."
You know, it's a spectrum. It's not a binary on or off. There's a spectrum in between
(31:06):
ranging from people who are perfectly okay with never fucking. And then people who
can't go more than like an hour without touching their junk. And most people are somewhere in between.
And even people who have a high libido can learn to be okay with not acting on it.
(31:27):
They don't have to act on it. And they can be perfectly okay if they don't act on it.
If they have, if they're chased.
And Patty was talking about, there was some sort of a Netflix show. A Netflix reality show
(31:50):
where the only premise was for people to not have sex.
As if that's hard. So hard. Oh my god. We're just horny all the time.
And Patty said that show was kind of insensitive to ace people.
(32:11):
Like imagine how challenging it is to not fuck as if that's the default for everyone.
And when Patty said it was too hot to handle. And it was deeply weird. Well, hey, look at that.
Prisoner to Camerie has joined us in your holiday.
(32:33):
Ms. Addy said I would totally have sex daily multiple times a day really. But I can survive without it.
I mean, sex is on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. But I think it's a misnomer. I think it should be
(32:54):
intimacy. And I think that it's more encompasses things like emotional intimacy and maybe hugs.
Because a lack of sex is not going to make you drop over dead. It's not on the level of like if I
don't have access to water, eventually I die, right? If I don't have access to sex, you just get sad.
(33:21):
Which sucks. But it's not anywhere near on the same level. And Tina said "I think the last time I had
penetrative sex was 12 years ago. But I'm good with masturbation." Yeah, I mean, you can get all the good
positive benefits of sex through solo sex. Get touch yourself. Yeah, got it. You got to get okay with
(33:50):
self-love, babies. But if your goal is chastity and you want to play with locktober,
masturbation is also off the table. Sorry.
Kylie said I did a reality show where nobody had sex. It was called an all boys Catholic school.
(34:16):
And Prisoners that actually kindly I bet some of those boys did have sex. Yeah, they probably did.
I mean, come on. They gay.
Addy is shocked. She said, "wait, what? It is what? Which part?"
(34:43):
She said, "I thought it was just the cage." Yeah, no masturbation. To some people like actual,
actual chastity is no masturbation, no sex, no sexual pleasure. Like to be chaste is to choose to
refrain from sex and masturbation. She says, "but, but, butt stuff" -is cheating.
(35:25):
I didn't see this. "Well, I can masturbate with a vibrator on a cage." So yeah, let's go there.
A chatter said, I think this is just a silly challenge.
Okay, so the strict definition of chastity,
(35:48):
to refrain from sex and masturbation. Some people do still masturbate despite being locked in a chastity device.
Technically, they're just using a chastity device in order to change the way they masturbate.
(36:08):
They're still masturbating. They still get off. They're just locked in chastity while they do it.
Or more accurately, they are locked in a chastity device while they're doing it.
And that opens a different conversation altogether. And this is when I start to tell you all about
(36:29):
butt stuff. Okay, I practice Tantra, like, Vajrayana, Tantra. It's nowhere near as much sex as you think.
Let me get out in front of that. Western 'tantra' is sex. It's fucking.
(36:54):
It's lots and lots of fucking with vague veneers of mindfulness gooped on top.
People who have a penis and testicles, when they practice Tantra, a big part of Tantra is
(37:17):
semen retention. Now, this is because Tantra draws a line between ejaculation and orgasm.
See, Prisoner said "tantra is a fancy word for fore play." Incorrect. You're wrong.
Tantra is Vajrayana. It's one of the three major schools of Buddhism. It is an entire ass religion
(37:42):
and a set of spiritual practices. So in Tantra, ejaculation,
the juice comes out your nuts, squirts through your dick, and orgasm, feelings of ecstasy,
are two different things. And it turns out there really are two different things. And I can prove it to you.
(38:07):
That's a good attempt at spelling that, you know. I'm going to type this in.
Vajrayana, v-a, v-a-j, Vajrayana.
Let me make sure that I actually spelled that correctly.
(38:32):
Yep, I sure did.
V-a-j, r-a-y-a-n-a. Vajrayana is Tantric Buddhism. It's a major branch of Mahyana Buddhism.
The goal of Vajrayana, as is the goal of any of the major schools of Buddhism is to attain enlightenment.
(38:55):
The sexy parts of tantra, that's because western people are fucking perverts who are deeply repressed
because of fucking John Calvin.
And Patty's like, "I'm not interested in this." Okay.
(39:20):
So, ejaculation and orgasm are two completely different things, and I can prove to you that orgasm
and ejaculation are different things by locking you in chastity and playing with your prostate.
You will not get hard. You will not ejaculate in the same way that you normally do.
(39:43):
You can orgasm, though. Especially if I shove an E-stim probe up your ass and goose you
just right. You'll come. Actually, if I shove an E-stim probe up your ass and goose and electrocute
the hell out of your prostate, you will also ejaculate, and it'll probably feel pretty intense.
(40:12):
For truly learning how to orgasm without ejaculation, we're gonna have to get you very, very horny
and keep you that way for a couple hours while slowly building you up and guiding you through some
(40:32):
very specific breathing patterns while you're locked in chastity. And in this particular case,
the chastity cage is there to be a tool to help you, it's like training wheels,
so that you can get past the tendency to get very, very horny and then touch your dick.
(40:53):
If it's locked in a device, what are you masturbating? Nothing. You're gonna sit here and you're going
to breathe deeply while feeling all sorts of fun things until you orgasm or attain enlightenment.
Whichever comes first!
So, yes, technically, chastity is about refraining from sex and masturbation.
(41:32):
And, chatter is like, "Oh, that made me tingle." Yeah, it's supposed to. So, refraining from sex and
masturbation doesn't necessarily mean refraining from orgasm. And one thing that an awful lot of people
like to do, especially in the West, this is not Tantra, by the way. Some people might call it
(41:57):
'tantra', but that's, they're using words wrong. Some people like to be locked in chastity so that
then they can, oh, say, put a vibrator on the cage, that provides stimulation and play with their
butt until they make a sissy gasm. They have a prostate-based orgasm or penetration orgasm.
(42:24):
Often times, all of those do result in some form of ejaculation, which means it's still not Tantra.
Tantra is about semen retention. You do not ejaculate. You can orgasm, but you cannot ejaculate.
(42:50):
They're different fucking things. For the vast majority of people, especially in the West,
in America, in Canada, and, you know, Europe, us white people, orgasm and ejaculation are the same thing.
They don't have to be. This is why women can be multi-orgasmic, because we don't ejaculate.
(43:10):
And if we do, we squirt, which is physiologically the same as ejaculation.
Just we don't have external testes to spew forth lots and lots of gametes.
We have internal gametophores that produce eggs, and usually only one at a time.
(43:42):
By scale, so it's slightly easier for women to practice tantra than it is for men.
Fun side effect, though, is the fact that the reason why in Tantra men are supposed to practice
(44:02):
semen retention is because it is believed within that cultural societal structure. The belief is
that a man's vitality, strength and power are in the literal semen.
And that when he ejaculates, he loses strength, vitality and power.
(44:25):
And if he ejaculates into a woman, he gives that strength, vitality and power to the woman.
Instead of keeping it all for himself.
This is the case. "Shooting eggs will look cool, though."
We do that once a month.
So kind of joke is probably literally only funny to me.
(44:54):
It's a menstruation joke.
Tina's "another you talk about squirting.
I wonder if you have a refractory period like ejaculation after squirting."
Some women do.
Some women can just keep on going.
It does dehydrate you pretty good, though.
(45:15):
It's a lot of fluid.
You're going to be thirsty afterwards.
It's not pee.
Although I will point out to you, if you go look up squirting porn
(45:36):
on whatever your favorite porn site is,
is a non-zero number of those that are not actually squirting.
Put that out there, anyway.
Moving quickly along.
Yes, technically there's a refractory period.
(46:03):
And Patty's a whore all over the place with topics tonight.
Welcome to Whore School where you're going to learn something.
I don't know what exactly you're going to learn.
It may not be the lesson that I thought I was sitting down to teach.
(46:24):
Patty said "we're all over the place with topics tonight.
I counted seven."
Yeah.
Tina said, "well, usually it's Patty who do derails at the show?"
(46:53):
Right?
Okay.
So,
Chastity involves refraining from sex and masturbation.
Some people use a chastity device in order to masturbate in very specific ways.
(47:21):
Because anal orgasms are easier to attain when you use a chastity device.
That's why.
Okay, so does that still count as chastity?
But it depends on how much of a purist you want to be with your definitions.
(47:45):
[laughs]
If you want to be an absolute purist with your definitions, then yeah, if you
lock yourself in chastity and fuck yourself in the ass until you squirt everywhere,
that doesn't count.
You're just very dirty.
(48:07):
You're a pervert.
You're a fetishist.
God love you.
Like, yes, love that.
Please use your chastity device in non-standard ways.
I'm here for it.
If you are a definition purist,
(48:30):
don't play with that ass.
That counts.
Tina said that "I was searching for the Locktober definition and Wikipedia has a page for Locktober."
Yeah, it's a cultural phenomenon.
(48:58):
"How do you say every question could be boiled down to this exact as why?
Where x and y literally anything and the answer to all of those questions is it depends."
Yeah.
It depends on how broadly you define your terms.
There's a reason why, awful lot of the Whore School episodes, I start off by defining the terms.
(49:26):
One, so that we all know what I mean when I say words.
And two, because otherwise we are floating in a sea of one miscommunication.
And just also anything could be anything.
It could be anything.
(49:47):
Tina, "it from Wikipedia, search interest in Locktober has climbed steadily since 2016 with Google
Trend showing that 2024 generated nearly double the engagement of prior years."
(50:07):
Part of that is because remember at the very beginning of the episode I said Locktober is not what
influencers online want you to think it is.
It's because last year and this year, a whole bunch of people on TikTok were like,
it's locktober time to lock in on your goals.
Nope.
(50:30):
Nope.
No.
Patty said "as I'm taking discrete math and part of that is defining sets and lists of things to use for
(50:51):
proofs. Like I'm not kidding, defining terms to use for understanding is actually something that's
part of my class." I love formal logic. Like I'm a fan of formal fucking logic and using the rules of
logic to help with getting very clear about what I want to communicate.
(51:11):
Yes.
He said, "Haha, did the TikTokers stumble on the BDSM Locktober?" I think they probably saw the word
somewhere and were like, "Hah, I could use that." And then went for it. And there was more than one
(51:38):
influencer who was talking about, like it was really, really big, especially in the body builder community.
So it's a bunch of gymbros and like fitness TikTokers, or like it's time to lock in on your goals
for locktober. I remember this last year of laughing, my fucking asshole.
(52:04):
Because yeah, that was fucking funny.
[laughs]
Yeah, sure. Locktober and no-nut November is about avoiding soy milk
(52:30):
and almond milk. Because it's no-nut, right? No nuts. Just avoid them.
Fucking no. If they actually pick that up and run with it, I quit. I am done.
(52:50):
Celedagas, he says, "No coconut, either."
Oh, God.
So let's say that you have now accepted and you understand.
(53:14):
Locktober is about chastity.
Not locking in to your goals. I mean, you can. Sure.
All the rest of us are going to be laughing at you for that because it's fucking funny.
(53:37):
[laughs]
Oh, God.
If you have never explored chastity before, you should.
Especially, and this is just my personal philosophy on life.
(54:00):
If there is something out there that makes you especially like anxious or scared or nervous,
but it won't hurt you in any way whatsoever.
Dude, try it.
"See, it is that I'm locking to my goal to go full-month in chastity."
(54:24):
[laughs]
Heck, yes. Yes.
Okay, so if you are, like the thought of, just don't masturbate.
If that makes you feel anxious, if it's as scary as hell a little bit, then lean into that.
(54:45):
Do that.
You know? Just, [laughs]
go for it.
Identify for yourself what's the longest amount of time that you've been able to personally last
without jerking off? Can you go a little bit longer?
(55:08):
Like as a personal challenge?
It doesn't hurt you.
It might feel like discomfort, but honestly as part of your everyday routine,
learning to tolerate discomfort is kind of a very important life skill for adult human beings to have.
(55:31):
Discomfort tolerance is a thing.
Patty said, "Don't get your sex advice from random people online, except Ms. Harper. She doesn't count."
Damn straight. I'm not a random person online. I'm me.
(55:54):
[laughs]
So, okay. You should learn to tolerate discomfort and you should learn to tolerate boredom.
The way that social media is set up nowadays, you can just doom scroll for hours on end and see
something new every time you move your thumb. New, new, new. Boredom is something that you need to
(56:21):
be able to tolerate without feeling like you're going to rip your own skin off just as a fucking
human being. If you cannot tolerate boredom or discomfort or the vague sensation of, "Hmm, I'm horny."
I just, just picture me holding your hands very gently and looking at you right in the eyes and telling
(56:46):
you that you have a problem. You have got to get okay with boredom, discomfort, and feeling
vaguely horny. So, try to expand the length of time that you can comfortably last between masturbation
(57:15):
sessions. Work on reading long form fiction, possibly in the form of an actual physical book
that you got from the library and you can only have for two weeks. So, you need to hurry up and
finish this so you can give it back without getting a fee. Sit quietly in a quiet room for extended periods
(57:44):
of time and get comfortable with your own fucking thoughts. Entertain yourself. Think deep thoughts
about stuff. Maybe pick up a copy of like Kant or Kierkegaard or Scanlon at your local library.
It's complex. It's dense. It's wordy. Oh, it's difficult to read. You're probably going to be bored.
(58:13):
Read it. Think about it while not masturbating.
Get comfortable with discomfort and that includes chastity.
S has joined us in here tonight. Just pop in right at the end.
(58:40):
Patty said "I was so close to going the whole episode with no confrontations from Ms. Harper explains
how and why I'm doing life wrong, but dammit." She says, "I thought I was safe." You're never safe.
Not from me. Dun, dun, dun. Okay, so this is why you should try long form
(59:06):
chastity, even if the idea of that makes you uncomfortable. Tough shit. Dude, anyway, it's good for you.
Whore School is adult sex education. Please head to our discord server and join us over there at
discord.gg/EnchantrixEmpire. Come play with us. We don't bite unless you ask us to.
(59:36):
Check out my blog, fetishphonesexblog.com. It is also Halloween. That means the Halloween
blogtrain is going and if you haven't been following along, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Go to mistressofmore.com with Ms. Kay Marie. That's where it started. Follow the links. They're all
linked together. It's spooky, fun, erotica. Whore School is adult, sex education focused on no shame,
(01:00:03):
no guilt, no fear. Well, maybe a little bit of fear. You're allowed to be slightly afraid.
Yeah, I'm Harper. Thank you guys for listening tonight.
Yeah, I want to lock you in chastity because it's fun. Thank you all for listening and I will
see you all again next week. Good night.
(01:00:27):
[BLANK_AUDIO]
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