February 6, 2025 • 8 mins
Seven Ways to Divide up Your “Stuff”
Clients ask me all the time how much detail should go into their Wills.
They are usually referring to their “stuff” – their personal possession such
as furniture, art, household goods, car, etc. Well, the answer is that we
don’t usually itemize those things in your Will – except for those rare
pieces. This is for a whole lot of practical reasons and tax reasons. That
often is not enough for folks, so typically estate lawyers offer these
alternatives. The attorney puts a paragraph in the Will that says the
Executor will decide who gets what. Then, the Executor can use one of
these methods:
1. LIST LARGE GIFTS IN YOUR WILL. Be selective and keep
this to a minimum. There are practical problems with this one.
2. SELL EVERYTHING AND SPLIT THE MONEY. This is the
great equalizer but is a little harsh.
3. WRITE A MEMO TO YOUR EXECUTOR. This is by far the
most popular. It’s simple, effective and easy to change.
4. GIVE THINGS AWAY WHILE YOU ARE ALIVE. I love this
one because it can simplify your life and bring you joy. And it
comes naturally as you downsize.
5. HAVE A LOTTERY OR TAKE TURNS PICKING. This is also
effective, but it requires everyone to be together or it will take
forever.
6. BIDDING. You can bid with real money, but usually you bid
with chips or play money or points. But this requires everyone
to be together to work correctly.
7. COLOR-CODED STICKERS. You put stickers on the big
pieces so that your family and your executor know who gets
what. This is a little compulsive, and you have to live with
stickers on your stuff – but it works.
Clients ask me all the time how much detail should go into their Wills.
They are usually referring to their “stuff” – their personal possession such
as furniture, art, household goods, car, etc. Well, the answer is that we
don’t usually itemize those things in your Will – except for those rare
pieces. This is for a whole lot of practical reasons and tax reasons. That
often is not enough for folks, so typically estate lawyers offer these
alternatives. The attorney puts a paragraph in the Will that says the
Executor will decide who gets what. Then, the Executor can use one of
these methods:
1. LIST LARGE GIFTS IN YOUR WILL. Be selective and keep
this to a minimum. There are practical problems with this one.
2. SELL EVERYTHING AND SPLIT THE MONEY. This is the
great equalizer but is a little harsh.
3. WRITE A MEMO TO YOUR EXECUTOR. This is by far the
most popular. It’s simple, effective and easy to change.
4. GIVE THINGS AWAY WHILE YOU ARE ALIVE. I love this
one because it can simplify your life and bring you joy. And it
comes naturally as you downsize.
5. HAVE A LOTTERY OR TAKE TURNS PICKING. This is also
effective, but it requires everyone to be together or it will take
forever.
6. BIDDING. You can bid with real money, but usually you bid
with chips or play money or points. But this requires everyone
to be together to work correctly.
7. COLOR-CODED STICKERS. You put stickers on the big
pieces so that your family and your executor know who gets
what. This is a little compulsive, and you have to live with
stickers on your stuff – but it works.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
You're listening to simply when needs persented by all Worth Financial,
I'm Amy Wagner. For those who have never thought about
estate planning, I understand it can be low on your
list of things to do. It's not necessarily fun to
think about what can happen after you're gone. But I
call this an act of love for the ones that
you're leaving behind. And there's lots of ways you can
(00:25):
approach it. Some of them you may have never thought
about before, but someone else has. And that's our estate
planning expert from the law firm of Wood and Lamping,
Mark Regman Mark. You've been doing this for a long time.
I'm sure you've seen it just about everything. So let's
talk what are options. And we're looking at dividing up
our stuff, so.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
There are several, Amien. And when we're talking about stuff,
we're talking about your personal possessions. We're talking about furniture, art,
household goods, your car, your clothes. I'm not talking about
money like securities or cash or real estate. I'm talking
about the things you have in your house. And that
is always tricky because there's so much of it, and
(01:08):
because it's a moving target. Your personal possessions change over time,
and so the answer is that lawyers don't normally itemize
those things in your will. They're just there's too much
of it and there's too much opportunity for change. There
are exceptions if you have a rare piece, you know,
for example, I did a will not so long ago
(01:30):
for a family that had a grand piano. I mean,
this thing was worth I don't know, seventy five thousand dollars.
And when you're talking about something of that kind that
you will, you would go ahead and put that in
a will. But I'm really talking about most smaller items
are not itemized like that. So typically what the state
(01:51):
lawyers will do is we will offer some alternatives. What
we often do is put a paragraph in the will
that says the executor gets to decide who it's what,
and then the executor can use one of several methods.
Probably the most common one is that the executor has
discretion to decide who to give it to, and this
(02:15):
is by far the most popular. It's simple, it's effective,
and in essence, it puts the executor in charge, and
that works well if the executor is a Fannie member,
a child, maybe the oldest or maybe the wisest or
the fairest or whatever. And by the way, one of
the great things you can do is you can give
that person a handwritten list that's not in the will.
(02:37):
In other words, that you make a list of the
important things that you want to go and you give
it to the executor separately and say, when I die,
you have discretion, and here's who I here's I want
you to use this list as a guideline. And that's
by far the most popular way. Some people in their will,
(02:57):
they'll insist that everything be sold and that the money
gets divided up equally or according to whatever percentage you want.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Which is nice. But I'm a sentimental person as well,
and there's certain things that I don't necessarily want sold.
So how do you deal with that stuff?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, you know. I have a metal
pot that sits next to my heart. That was my
great grandmother's back in the days when people wash their
clothes on the stove top on a wood stove, these
big big metal urns and they would put them on
top of the stove and boil the water and how
you got your whites clean. And that piece sits next
(03:37):
to my fireplace. And I keep my firewood in it,
and you know I would break my heart to lose it.
So you're right. So one other choice, a third alternative,
is to give these things away while you're alive. You know,
I love this one because it simplifies your life as
you get to be older and you're downsizing. It gives
you a way to reduce the amount of stuff you've got.
(04:02):
It sort of comes naturally. It also means you have
the joy of watching other people enjoy these items so
that you can see them in use in the next generation.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
You know, Mark, there's one thing that I've seen people
do and I kind of want to get your take
on this too, and it's, hey, uh, we're going to
take turns going into our parents' house. Maybe the oldest
goes first, I don't know, Maybe you draw straws, but
and then we each get a turn at taking what
we want. It can work. I've also seen you got
(04:35):
the one thing that was the only thing I cared about.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah, and that can create some hard feelings. And that's
that's why you've got to have somebody in charge, like
your executor. After if there's something that is that important
for the kids, then you might address it in the will,
but still amy, you know that does happen. And let
me tell you, if you've got kids who don't get along. Yeah,
(04:59):
this where the friction usually hits. And it's it's consistently
odd to me why people would care so much about
a particular item. But it isn't about that item. It's
about some other conflict in the family. And there's nothing
a lawyer can do about that.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yeah, yeah, what are other options?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
By the way, another variation on the plan you just
mentioned is you have a lottery or or you take turns,
or you hand you pick straws, and that each person
picks an item, so that I pick, and then my
brother picks, and then my sister picks, and then you
rotate over and over again, so that you go through
that way. And finally, I have seen family who will
(05:41):
do bids. They'll have sort of an auction kind of thing.
They can do it with real money, although that's not
usually the case. You usually do it with you know,
chips or monopoly money or points that says, you know,
to hear you have one hundred thousand dollars of monopoly
money to spend, and everybody spend it, and then you
bid how much of your monopoly money you want for
(06:02):
each item. Now, of course, this requires everyone to be together.
It requires them to work together cooperatively. And last, but
not least, I have seen people who have put color
coded stickers on big pieces that says yellow alive while
they're still alive, and there stickers stay on them around
(06:25):
their house. It is. It struck me as odd, but
it was very effective.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Great, Like your color is yellow and anything that has
the yellow sticker on it, that's what you get. Your
sister's blue, that's hers.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
It works. It's it's weird, but it works.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
How often, mark do you have to then handle disputes
in these situations? I mean, I think even families who
get along really, really well, when there's grief involved, timbers.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Can flare, they can, and it's it's misplayed grief, of course.
And the answer is not the vast, vast majority. I mean,
I've been doing this for forty years now. The vast
majority of people get along fine and they work it out,
and yeah, there might be a little hurt feelings here
or there, and they talk it out. The vast majority,
(07:17):
but I'd say less than five percent of the cases
do I have open conflict. I've bet a lot less
than five percent have I seen open conflict over the
division of personal property.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Good to know, so much to think through. And that's
why say again and again it is really an act
of love when you provide some guidelines before you're gone,
so that when you're no longer here, it's not left
for your loved ones to figure it out amongst themselves.
So I do think there's great insights into at least
thinking through which option that Mark's just talked about feels
(07:54):
the best for you and your loved ones. Great insights
as always from our estate planning expert from the law
firm of War and Lamping, Mark Rekman. You're listening to
Simply Money, presented by all Worth Financial here on fifty
five KRC, the talk station
You're listening to simply when needs persented by all Worth Financial,
I'm Amy Wagner. For those who have never thought about
estate planning, I understand it can be low on your
list of things to do. It's not necessarily fun to
think about what can happen after you're gone. But I
call this an act of love for the ones that
you're leaving behind. And there's lots of ways you can
(00:25):
approach it. Some of them you may have never thought
about before, but someone else has. And that's our estate
planning expert from the law firm of Wood and Lamping,
Mark Regman Mark. You've been doing this for a long time.
I'm sure you've seen it just about everything. So let's
talk what are options. And we're looking at dividing up
our stuff, so.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
There are several, Amien. And when we're talking about stuff,
we're talking about your personal possessions. We're talking about furniture, art,
household goods, your car, your clothes. I'm not talking about
money like securities or cash or real estate. I'm talking
about the things you have in your house. And that
is always tricky because there's so much of it, and
(01:08):
because it's a moving target. Your personal possessions change over time,
and so the answer is that lawyers don't normally itemize
those things in your will. They're just there's too much
of it and there's too much opportunity for change. There
are exceptions if you have a rare piece, you know,
for example, I did a will not so long ago
(01:30):
for a family that had a grand piano. I mean,
this thing was worth I don't know, seventy five thousand dollars.
And when you're talking about something of that kind that
you will, you would go ahead and put that in
a will. But I'm really talking about most smaller items
are not itemized like that. So typically what the state
(01:51):
lawyers will do is we will offer some alternatives. What
we often do is put a paragraph in the will
that says the executor gets to decide who it's what,
and then the executor can use one of several methods.
Probably the most common one is that the executor has
discretion to decide who to give it to, and this
(02:15):
is by far the most popular. It's simple, it's effective,
and in essence, it puts the executor in charge, and
that works well if the executor is a Fannie member,
a child, maybe the oldest or maybe the wisest or
the fairest or whatever. And by the way, one of
the great things you can do is you can give
that person a handwritten list that's not in the will.
(02:37):
In other words, that you make a list of the
important things that you want to go and you give
it to the executor separately and say, when I die,
you have discretion, and here's who I here's I want
you to use this list as a guideline. And that's
by far the most popular way. Some people in their will,
(02:57):
they'll insist that everything be sold and that the money
gets divided up equally or according to whatever percentage you want.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Which is nice. But I'm a sentimental person as well,
and there's certain things that I don't necessarily want sold.
So how do you deal with that stuff?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, you know. I have a metal
pot that sits next to my heart. That was my
great grandmother's back in the days when people wash their
clothes on the stove top on a wood stove, these
big big metal urns and they would put them on
top of the stove and boil the water and how
you got your whites clean. And that piece sits next
(03:37):
to my fireplace. And I keep my firewood in it,
and you know I would break my heart to lose it.
So you're right. So one other choice, a third alternative,
is to give these things away while you're alive. You know,
I love this one because it simplifies your life as
you get to be older and you're downsizing. It gives
you a way to reduce the amount of stuff you've got.
(04:02):
It sort of comes naturally. It also means you have
the joy of watching other people enjoy these items so
that you can see them in use in the next generation.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
You know, Mark, there's one thing that I've seen people
do and I kind of want to get your take
on this too, and it's, hey, uh, we're going to
take turns going into our parents' house. Maybe the oldest
goes first, I don't know, Maybe you draw straws, but
and then we each get a turn at taking what
we want. It can work. I've also seen you got
(04:35):
the one thing that was the only thing I cared about.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah, and that can create some hard feelings. And that's
that's why you've got to have somebody in charge, like
your executor. After if there's something that is that important
for the kids, then you might address it in the will,
but still amy, you know that does happen. And let
me tell you, if you've got kids who don't get along. Yeah,
(04:59):
this where the friction usually hits. And it's it's consistently
odd to me why people would care so much about
a particular item. But it isn't about that item. It's
about some other conflict in the family. And there's nothing
a lawyer can do about that.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yeah, yeah, what are other options?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
By the way, another variation on the plan you just
mentioned is you have a lottery or or you take turns,
or you hand you pick straws, and that each person
picks an item, so that I pick, and then my
brother picks, and then my sister picks, and then you
rotate over and over again, so that you go through
that way. And finally, I have seen family who will
(05:41):
do bids. They'll have sort of an auction kind of thing.
They can do it with real money, although that's not
usually the case. You usually do it with you know,
chips or monopoly money or points that says, you know,
to hear you have one hundred thousand dollars of monopoly
money to spend, and everybody spend it, and then you
bid how much of your monopoly money you want for
(06:02):
each item. Now, of course, this requires everyone to be together.
It requires them to work together cooperatively. And last, but
not least, I have seen people who have put color
coded stickers on big pieces that says yellow alive while
they're still alive, and there stickers stay on them around
(06:25):
their house. It is. It struck me as odd, but
it was very effective.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Great, Like your color is yellow and anything that has
the yellow sticker on it, that's what you get. Your
sister's blue, that's hers.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
It works. It's it's weird, but it works.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
How often, mark do you have to then handle disputes
in these situations? I mean, I think even families who
get along really, really well, when there's grief involved, timbers.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Can flare, they can, and it's it's misplayed grief, of course.
And the answer is not the vast, vast majority. I mean,
I've been doing this for forty years now. The vast
majority of people get along fine and they work it out,
and yeah, there might be a little hurt feelings here
or there, and they talk it out. The vast majority,
(07:17):
but I'd say less than five percent of the cases
do I have open conflict. I've bet a lot less
than five percent have I seen open conflict over the
division of personal property.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Good to know, so much to think through. And that's
why say again and again it is really an act
of love when you provide some guidelines before you're gone,
so that when you're no longer here, it's not left
for your loved ones to figure it out amongst themselves.
So I do think there's great insights into at least
thinking through which option that Mark's just talked about feels
(07:54):
the best for you and your loved ones. Great insights
as always from our estate planning expert from the law
firm of War and Lamping, Mark Rekman. You're listening to
Simply Money, presented by all Worth Financial here on fifty
five KRC, the talk station
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