Ep. 46 - Man breaks into closed Wendy's, cooks food, then steals money

He was hungry!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
This is FCB Radio. We're realclug Clifts. Visit us online at FCB
radio dot com. I'll spell itdu m m stupid. The reason that
bad things happen to you, itis because you're a dumba, all right.

(00:24):
As I always say, I amnot picking on Florida, oh boy,
but the stories come to us andI just go, oh my god,
another story and then it happens tobe from Florida. Florida is amazing
for for for for morons. Yeah, stunning. I think I think they're

(00:44):
right up there with California. Yeah, trust and trust me. I do
not what California is stupid politically,but Florida is different kinds of students.
Yeah, it's just a lot oflosers like you do dumb stuff that end
up on the show. The othersegment show that we have on our on
our network, The Outlaws, theyuse the Floridians out there. Yes,
yes, there's enough material to talkabout Florida every dog one week. Yeah.

(01:11):
So anyway, Florida. Okay,so this is a typical store.
Okay, guy robs, he robsthe Wendy's. Okay, these store is
not open, so it's not agun point he breaks in the store,
and then most people you know you'regonna rob someplace, you're gonna get in,
you're gonna get out right Because he'sthinking, okay, the cops might
be coming. This idiot makes himselfa burger. He breaks stood there,

(01:38):
made himself a burger while robbing Wendy's. Hold on them, let me get
a little something real quick. Youthink he'd take the money and go buy
something better than Wendy's. This isthis is a closed Windy. So he
get the fire up the grill.Think I'll make me something like why wouldn't
you high tail it out of therelike you just standing here? But he

(01:59):
was home. Give guys, hewas hungry. Okay, let me get
through. Florida officials say they werelooking for a hamburglar. I know the
writer. The journalists couldn't wait toput the who broke into restaurants, fixed
themselves some food, and then stolemoney. So he first, Oh my
god, the Martin County Sheriff's officesays the suspect. The suspect forced his

(02:23):
way into Windy's in Jensen Beach,Florida by smashing a window with a brick.
He then fired up the grill madehimself at Hamburger and walked away with
the store safe. He also wentto another Gensen Beach restaurant, where he
helped himself to more food and money. He was hungry. He's hungry.
He had to be high like somebody. He had a munchies authority, said

(02:45):
a man who also tried to roba gas station but could not break in.
On Facebook, the officials posted photosand asked the public to help and
identify the suspect, who was atattoo on his left arm and is described
as a white male in his midthirty This guy broke into Wendy's, fired
up through real and made it burger, and the police didn't show up.
I guess not. Well, itdepends on I don't know if they had

(03:06):
an alarm. I don't know thatyou do think, But then again,
yeah, yeah, this wouldn't PalmBeach. Yeah, but you would think
they were have an alarm and andand maybe somebody's in trouble for not setting
it. I don't know, butI haven't. I have a suggesting,
goober, instead of robbing a place, why don't you fill out of applications

(03:30):
that you like to make burger?Right? That mean for somebody else,
you can't show up and work.Yeah, yeah, yes, to show
up and actually you know, Imean yeah, but it actually took a
lot of work to break in there. Now there there's more development, it's
more breaking news in this story.Oh my goodness. So oh god,

(03:53):
there you go. Okay, wewe we we we have to we have
to correct this problem. Anyway,there has been an an Oh. So
this goober. His name, he'sthirty four year old Patrick Benson. They
they rested him on in relation toburglaries. He has charged with burglary,

(04:13):
grand theft, and a template burglary. He faces additional charges. He's currently
in Martin County jail. And helooks like and he looks like a dummy.
Let me see. Yeah he does. Yeah, yeah, he looks
like a guy. He looks likea total it is. Yeah, he
looks like a guy. He's gota big tattoo on his shoulder of a
hamburger. Yeah, they called him. They called him the Hamburger hamburglar.

(04:38):
I mean, it's just unbelievable.He didn't even see concerned he would get
caught. He just goes in onme, make me s oh. And
by the way, I'm gonna stealsomething while I'm here, right right.
It was like stealing the money wasthe afterthought. Yeah, the first thing
was trying to get the food.He was like, well let me make
this sandwich. Well, well,since yea, I might as well take

(04:58):
money. So there's those actually ofhim they got. They got some great
pictures of him inside the restaurant.Fantastic pictures are very distinctive. Tattoo on
his left shoulder a rage, verycurrent, typical security. I wonder what
his defense lawyer is gonna say,he's stupid, but he was hungry,
and if we fed our citizens defense, well, you know he was.

(05:21):
He was raising a single parent home. His mother didn't feed him, mother
didn't feed him. He didn't learnright from wrong. Oh my goodness.
He got kicked out of kindergarten becausehe didn't share. I mean, this
guy is like, but do theyserve you burgers in jail? I don't

(05:41):
know. I had no idea.I would have no idea. Everybody knows
somebody who's in jail, come on, but I don't ask them what they're
what they're dinner men? Yeah,what were you? What were your dietary
requirmers when you're in the pend.Did you get enough fiber? What you
have for proach? Well, me, this may suck you as strange even

(06:02):
though you're from Akron. Wow,when you talk to enough people, they
tell you a lot about stuff likethat. So I did learn that they
do have sardines, right, theytell you how bad? Yeah, so
I've learned a lot about that.The view part now because I knew of

(06:25):
them. I knew they did it. You're like, I didn't have that.
They tell you a lot about whatthey eating, you know, they
complain about the stuff and they tellyou what they have. Yeah. So
unfortunately, so yeah, I don'tknow if they make burgers. So,
Patrick Benson, you are the bigdummy of the week. Matter of fact,
he's going into the year end dummycompetition of all time. Yeah,

(06:45):
No, we're gonna have a yearend big dummy the year of competition.
Is it gonna be right there nextto Self Made Cash? Yes, Self
Made Cash is leading in the pollsright now for the Dummy of the year.
Man. I was listening to thatthe end of the day. By
the way, make sure you goto I Heart Radio or you're any other
podcast provider and listen to you bigdummy, and subscribe as well. And
I was listening to that one theother day and I heard Ashley. She

(07:08):
was like, that was so detroit. You know, he decided to commit
identity theft of day and then writea rap about it. And not only
did he write a rep, hebuilt his entire career stuff he was currently
doing, not stuff he used todo. Exactly, So this guy has

(07:29):
to be next to him like neckand neck. You know what, I
would actually ask for the probation ifI was his lawyer, I would ask
probation. I would say, yourhonor, you clearly see this man's not
bright, all right? You doyou want somebody like this in jail?
I think he should get probation,and I think he should pay restitution.
And I think he should be sentencedto work at a fast food restaurant for
like ninety days. Oh, thatwould be punishment for real. He may

(07:54):
rather go to jail. There's notelling what he'd do to the food.
He might lick the burgers. Yes, that's hot right now, that's the
hot new thing. Yeah. Iwouldn't want to do that at all.
I just I don't understand what goalson in people's mind how I used to
The guy's thirty four years thirty fouryears A h, what do you mean
in terms of, you know,the generation's he's a he's a millennials.

(08:18):
He's younger than Ashley, he's olderthan Darvy on Ashley, but only a
couple of years old. Yeah,he's a millennial. He's one of us,
unfortunately. I mean yeah, butyou know what, he's one of
us. He is I and Iam him right. But I've never heard
of a guy. I mean,I've heard of people breaking into people's houses

(08:41):
and cooking food. I've heard ofthat. But see, this is this
is insane too. But but butbut you and I collade. This is
these are things that we never wouldhave thought of when we were coming up.
No, never would have thought ofas as young adults. I mean
just I mean the idea of openingice cream at the score, licking it
and closing it back, or breakinginto a fast food restaurant. I have

(09:01):
to burg I've never thought we neverwould have thought that. How deprave does
your mind have to be to belike, hey, this is a good
idea I should do that. Youknow, It's really frightening though, the
things that people do and you can'tfix that, you know, you can't.
Some people are just saying people somepeople are just not well. Yeah,

(09:22):
you know, and and it's reallyI mean dealing with the public.
People are just not they're not well, and you have to realize, Okay,
there's a certain segment of the societythat can't function out here on their
own. So somebody has to takecare of them because they're not they're not
mentally incapacitated. They're just not atheir brain doesn't function, they're not able

(09:46):
to function. They really are notemployable. Is that an emotional IQ?
It's something. But this guy hopinghe doesn't have kids, oh, you
don't want him to pass the stupidon have been to Herd with the FCB
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