You Can Overcome Anything: Ep 304 - Overcoming Fear – Joseph Descans - You Can Overcome Anything! Podcast Show

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are you looking for more out of your life? Do
you need ideas on how to start new businesses and
how to move forward in your own personal life? Well,
guess what you have come to the right radio show
at You Can Overcome Anything Podcast Show. You are learning
here from many people from all walks of life who

(00:22):
are sharing their challenges, their stories, their habits and the
mind shifts they had to overcome to become who they
are today. On top, you will get a chance to
connect and see how you can overcome anything by networking
and learning about your next move through this radio show.
I present to you our great speakers at You Can

(00:46):
Overcome Anything Podcast Show with your host Caesar.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Is you know.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
And welcome back to another episode of You Can Overcome
Anything Podcasts. It is your host of Caesar Espino and
today my guest. His name is Joseph Descance. He's accomplished
author known for his book Hossey The Prophet Who Married
a Prostitute. Born in June twenty fourth, nineteen sixty four,

(01:21):
in Indianapolis, Indiana, Joseph moved to San Diego, California with
his mother and younger sister after his parents' divorce. He
graduated from a Torrey Pines High School in nineteen eighty two,
and later earned a BA in literature from Point Loma
Nasaret University in two thousand. Joseph is a single father

(01:42):
of four children, Lily, Giuseppe, Abraham and Hessekia, and enjoys
a variety of hobbies, including surfing, snowboarding, and fishing. He
is a freelance writer, inspiring speaker, editor, business coach, contractor,
certified arborist, and foreign professional surfer. He's a firse career

(02:04):
and personal experience in which his storytelling making his work
both engaging and insightful. My pleasure in truest to you,
my guess, Joseph. Hey, Joseph, how are you good?

Speaker 2 (02:16):
How you doing today?

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Caesar, I'm doing wonderful. I'm doing wonderful. Man. You have
a lot of talents. I love that.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, yeah, And so the challenge is when you can
do all those things and you got so much vision,
it's like what to work on right now? That's the
most important thing to be working on at the moment.
So that's that's my biggest challenge these days.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
Yeah. Well, I gotta tell you, I mean, I've been
both in San Diego and both in Indianapolis, right, Indiana,
And I think definitely, you know, your your your mom
chose the right place to be. I think you would
agree with me on that. But but tell me, I mean,
how old were you when you guys make that move?

Speaker 2 (02:59):
I believe I was seven years old? Okay, yeah, seven
years old. I remember I'd been in school for a
year or two maybe when we moved out, So I
was I was pretty young, seven ish, got you?

Speaker 1 (03:12):
And you know, I think that regardless of of of
your age, I think a lot of times when people
move from from place like that, you know, you know,
really literally across the country, right, that could be a
bit of a challenge writer, or you know sometimes just
because you know different cultures and get unaccustomed to different
ways of getting new friends. Like, was it any any

(03:35):
of that for you a challenge or you were you
know good with it?

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Yeah? You know, I was just a little kid, so
I was along with the ride. I know it was
a challenge from my mom. We we lived here in
San Diego with my with her mother, my grandmother a
little bit, and then we moved in with my cousins,
and so there was definitely challenges, you know, and then
she you know, went to school to get a good job,

(04:02):
et cetera. She became a court reporter. So there's there's always, yeah,
you know, challenges. We moved a lot in those first
few years before we came to a place of settling down. Yeah,
and so yeah, so I've been in in Indiana and
of course I've been in San Diego for a while.
But it's funny because sometimes my accent, I have a
little bit of Midwestern accent that comes out most I'm

(04:26):
Southern California. But I was just thinking about that, listening
to your accent as you're introducing me, at your pronunciation
of those names and stuff. So that was that was
pretty cool. I was I was going, Okay, this is fun.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah for sure, Yeah, definitely. So so tell me. You know,
growing up, we have the idea of when I grow up,
I want to be this and or I want to
be that, Right, I mean obviously you've done multiple different things.
What was that for you growing up?

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Well, you know, as a kid, I started surfing. I
actually started surfing when I was twelve in New Jersey.
My mom got remarried and my stepfather his family had
a house on the Jersey shore. The first block on
the Jersey Shore every summer, right, and so I went
there for a couple of summers, and that's when I
learned how to serve. So of course, when I was

(05:18):
a kid, you know, you want to be a professional surfer,
and so I was pretty good. So I did get
to do that, mostly big wave surfing. But I remember
my dream kind of got shot down like one day,
and I wish I hadn't had this happen. I wish
I'd had some coaching. But you know, I was looking

(05:39):
at the early magazines and the contest and how much
they were making at a contest. It was like five
hundred and one thousand bucks right to win a surf contest.
And so I'm looking at the magazine and I see
there's just a couple surf contests and so this one
of the very top pros in the world is making
one thousand dollars on this contest. And I knew they

(06:00):
didn't have sponsorship at that point, and so I was
I like, looked at that. I go, there's no money
in this. You can't make an earning a living at this, right,
And so I kind of, you know, it kind of
got shot down at that point. As a legitimate job.
And that's unfortunate because of course now people are making
millions as professional surfers. I think it's a million dollars

(06:23):
if you win the World Tour of that alone and
then top it out all the sponsorship, et cetera, et cetera.
So you know, I could have been right there on
the front part of the emerging price tag there, you know,
for money or ringings. So I didn't apply myself as
as I think I should have. So that's one of

(06:44):
the things where you kind of look back and go, oh,
I should have tried harder. You know, I wish I'd
known better. I'd had a coach, really, really, a coach
would have made the difference for me. So anyway, so
as growing up as a kid, yes, you know, as
I got my league teens, it was to be a
professional surfer. So I did do that, just on a

(07:04):
on a lesser level than I think I could have done.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah, well, I think that's huge. A lot of people
do not get the opportunity to accomplish the things that
they want to accomplish, and part of that is the
idea of fear. And that's something you've you've faced face
through through many years, right, and and and and the
fear of the unknown, or the fear of what if
I fail or what if I make it right? That's

(07:28):
one big thing that holds people back from accomplishing anything
in life. So let's talk about that. Let's talk about
your interpretation or your idea of fear. How did that
show up for you in your life?

Speaker 2 (07:43):
Yeah, so you know, I actually put together a speech
on that K two lessons to overcome fear, and so
we do. Like, obviously, I was a professional surfer for
big waves surfing, so I serve waves over forty fee.
I probably did that like a dozen or fifteen days
of over forty feet. And so you're definitely dealing with fear,

(08:06):
and I can I can get into that in just
a moment here, but just generally, fear is across the
board and all things because I've frozen up on tests
and other aspects of life. You know, if you're gonna
ask a girl out, oh my goodness, you know, you're
like sick, You're like, oh, it's terrible. But if you're

(08:28):
ever gonna connect and get married and do all those things,
you're gonna have to face that fear and overcome that
fear and move on, you know. And like I said,
I've frozen up in tests too. You know, it's just
like you get to a question and it's like the
end of the world, and you know, you can't see

(08:49):
the trees for the forests. And so when I'm helping people,
I tutored when I got out of college, I tutored
for a while, and so the biggest problem was for
people they look at the forest, and I know that's
was my problem. But you can't do that. You have
to look at the tree. You're taking the forest down
one tree at a time, and so you have to

(09:09):
deal with the one tree. And if you can't deal
with the one tree, move on to the next tree,
right because if you're just looking at the forest, you're
never You're going to be paralyzed, and so you can't
move on. But you know, big wave surfing a lot
of time, you know, when you're pealing out on the

(09:31):
forty foot days, so like an average day, you don't
sleep the night before, you know, on the smaller days,
I got to the point where I could sleep, but
you know, you're so you know, lit up with adrenaline
and just you know, anticipation. You can't sleep, and so
then you've got that going on, and then you go

(09:53):
you get there. So the place where I went where
I got all my photo credits was at an island
off of insnaut of Mexico. It's called Toto Santos Island.
So basically, the waves are three times give or take
whatever it is here in San Diego. So if it's
ten seen here, it's going to be thirty feet out there. Wow,

(10:16):
just because there's no continental shelf. It comes straight in
out of the deep water and hits the reef. But
on an average day, so it takes an hour and
a half to drive there. On a good boat, it's
forty five minutes out there, and so you've got that
adrenaline going and then it gets a point, like on
the bigger days, when you get out there, you're looking

(10:38):
at it and then it comes to point where you're
actually going to paddle out and that's when it really
hits you. And just remembering one specific day I was
out there with it was just me and Mike Parsons
and he's pretty famous and photographer who had a boat,
Rob Brown, and so he got out there and it

(11:00):
was during the K two Challenge which was a competition,
a photo competition who could get it on film of
catching and making you know, the biggest wave of the
whole winter, right. And the contest was in the Pacific Ocean,
so it's the entire ocean for the whole winter, right.
And so we were out there and hoping to catch

(11:23):
one of the biggest way or the biggest wave of
the winter right and get it on film. And so,
you know, we reached a point where you know you're
about to paddle out. And this day I remember the
most because just the way the events happened, he paddled
out like ten minutes before I did. And so when

(11:44):
you get to the point where you're gonna put on
your websuit and actually go out, your body just goes
into overdrive. And so it's like you're you're buzzing, but
you can't feel your fingertips, you can't feel your toes.
You know, your heart is just pumped, the adrenalines just pumping.
And then you put on your wet suit, you jump

(12:05):
in the water and paddle over to where the waves
are breaking and on this and after a little while,
you know your fingers and toasts come back to life.
You can feel them, they stop buzzing, et cetera, et cetera.
But it takes a little bit, like twenty minutes, half
hour before it kicks down a little bit. And uh so,

(12:25):
on that particular day, Mike got out there and then
at right as I was getting to where the waves
are breaking, he paddles for this wave and he couldn't
quite catch it. And I was right there. So I
turned around and I went and just like no thinking,
I just boom. I went. But at that moment, my
hands were numb, my feet were numb, like I couldn't
feel my feet when I stood up on the surfboard,

(12:48):
I was buzzing and numb and scared out of my mind,
you know, adrenaline in full swing. And but I turned around,
I went, I caught the wave and I made it.
So that's how life is. I mean, there's just a
lot of stuff in life where you're scared out of
your mind to do it, but you got to just

(13:10):
do it or you're never going to achieve your goal.
And that's just all it is. And you think, okay,
well that's a life threatening situation, but you're still scared.
It's still the same when you're asking a girl out,
when you're taking a test, when you're auditioning, you got
an interview. You know, you can still do all the
same stuff. People freeze up, they do speeches, they freeze

(13:32):
up on the stage, you know, their buying goes blank.
You know, there you are, and then you got to
recover from that, right, And so that's just how life
works on just about every level. And if you're not
willing to do that, you're not going to succeed. That's
all I do it.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
I love that. Yeah, like you said, just do it
scared right.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Right right, that's a popular theme these days, someone's personal growth.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, well that's huge. And and then and you're right, I mean,
at the end of the day, if you don't phase
those years, you're disabling yourself and or not allowing yourself
to to see the opportunity. Right. And a lot of times,
you know, because of a fear of the unknown, we
let those opportunities go to waste, right, and sometimes they
don't come a second time. So that's huge. Talk about

(14:16):
your the book, What inspired to for you to write
the first that that book?

Speaker 2 (14:20):
So Josea, okay, so jose here's my Josea book right here,
we see you can get that on Amazon or Barnes
and Noble, et cetera. So what inspired me is at
that point in life where I got the inspiration for that.
I was getting up early, making kids breakfast, lunch, and

(14:42):
sending take him to school, and then when I got
home from school, I would pray for an hour. And
so usually that looked like me just kind of pacing
around the kitchen in the house and praying, and so
on this particular day, I was praying for a half
hour and things just praying, praying in the spirit, and
and things were feeling a little different. I couldn't didn't

(15:04):
quite have a lock on it, but I knew something
was a little bit different. And then the second half hour,
this this movie came to me. So I wrote the
novel first, but it was it's really it came to
me as a movie. I didn't have a vision, I
didn't see a movie. I just understood a movie. And
uh so, you know, God lit me up with that,

(15:26):
and then I took notes, took a few notes, and
you know, and then of course I had to write it,
and so it actually took me ten years to write it.
During the process, let's see, all right. I think I
was recently divorced at that point. Right, so I had
one hundred percent taking care of four kids. Right, So

(15:49):
I was taking care of four kids, running a business,
you know, earning a living, all of that stuff, and
so I had a pretty heavy load. So life is
like that, you know, so you have a goal and
things to do. But it took me ten years, but
I did it, right, I took ten years. And then

(16:10):
once I did it, I learned I didn't know how
to mark it once again. And so I've been learning
marketing ever since I published my book. So that's that's
a big part of what I'm doing right now, learning
about marketing.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Got it. No, that's huge. You know, you mentioned something
and I don't often hear or see this happening, and
and well, I do believe that is is happening in
a lot maybe societals and talk about it. But I
want to just touch on that a little bit. And
you're a single father or kids, you often don't see that, right.
This is normally when when somebody divorces, then the kids

(16:48):
go with the mother, you know, talk a little bit
about that experience. I think that's also a huge lesson
in itself for you know, people that maybe are going
through something like that, that have gone through something like
that and they don't know how to deald into that, right.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
Yeah. So unfortunately, the whole I don't know, what do
you call it, the bureaucracy, I don't know, is geared
toward helping the woman. Like you said, the kids usually
go to the women, but in my case they went
to me and I had full custody of them. But unfortunately,
as I got into the court system, the whole court

(17:26):
system is geared to give the kids to the mom.
And so, you know, as I got into that, and
that whole dynamic went to work, like like, uh, the
lady we had a CPS case and when that finished,
I the lady told me, you know, okay, you you

(17:49):
you're on your own. You've got the kids, good for you,
blah blah blah. The case is over. You're on your
own and good luck. And I really didn't understand how
low did that statement was, because it wasn't. I thought
the system was neutral. I believed justice system. You know
that we're justice, and so all these things are going

(18:12):
through my head and I thought, okay, well that's fine.
I got a job I can provide for my kids.
I can take care of them. You know, I don't
I don't have a problem, I don't need help, right,
But it wasn't just that, it was the whole system
is geared to take your kids away from you. And
so as I got into that system, you know, it
went to work and eventually I lost custody my kids.

(18:38):
And basically what I saw going on there as you know,
and inequality of justice. You know, anything that my ex
wife did was treated as minor and everything that I
did was blown out of proportion if I made any
little mistake, and of course, you know they're going to
capitalize on that. And so eventually I ended up losing

(19:00):
the full custody and you know, I got it back.
Today all my kids are are with me. Well, you know,
two of them are out of the house they were
over eighteen, but two were still in the house, so
I've got them. So but it was a huge job
going through that whole process, you know, and getting them back,

(19:22):
and it was it was a very terrible, terrible situation,
you know, very heart rending. And then at the same
while you're going through all that, you're trying to do
things like write books and run your business, et cetera,
et cetera, and so very challenging.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
How do you what's your biggest advice with that being
able to balance all of that, right, you know, going
through those legal battles and then looking to run a
smooth business, right or getting involved that what was your
biggest lesson learning? Then you can advise people.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
On, well, you know, everybody's situation is going to be
different in how to balance their time and schedule and
stuff like that, and it's going to be challenging for everyone.
But you know, the biggest thing that I had to
deal with is just forgiving people. I came to a
point where it was just eating me up. Because the
Bible says, like, like David said, you're worried if I

(20:18):
hid in my heart that I might not send against you, right,
And so as a Christian, that should be way up
there in the forefront of our mind, right, we want
to live in purity and whatever. So unfortunately many other
Christians do not have that as a hallmark verse, you know.
And so as we were getting into custody issues and whatnot,

(20:39):
you know, some people made some bad decisions and so
you expect that from the world. You know, the world
to be against you. But then when you have people
that are in the church and making a profession of faith,
you know, making really bad decisions that are working against
you and your kids, you know that that It was huge.
And so I came to a point where it was

(21:00):
just eating me up because you know, I just constantly
had this conversation of all of the rules people were breaking,
all the biblical stuff that they were doing against me
and against my kids. You know, don't they know this stuff, right?
And so I just came to a point where I
just realized, you know, that was eating me up, and

(21:21):
so I had to forgive. And so at that point,
I knew a little bit about John Bevie and the
stuff that he had put out. So I found a
John Vie YouTube and I watched it five or six
times in a row and took notes and you know,
put something together, made a plan, and actively went about

(21:44):
forgiving people. And so that was the biggest thing, because
you can't go on with God, you can't go on
within life and et cetera, et cetera unless you can
forgive people. And you know, you have to have that,
you know, purity of heart and cleanness of mind and

(22:05):
clear conscious and all that stuff to be able to
do all the other stuff, to care for your kids,
to run a business, et cetera, et cetera. If you
don't have that, then you're you're a train wreck. And
you know, until you get that back together, you can't
do the other stuff. So that's the most important thing
that I had to to learn.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, and and and that's huge. That's that's definitely huge.
And and I think overall we have to do more
of that because a lot of times we're holding down
to people and and we're hold on to that that
idea of not I'm not gonna forgive this person they
did me wrong, and without even realizing that, that's definitely
eating you from the inside out, right. And I do

(22:46):
believe that I myself have gone through that in many
different cases, and I've learned to do the same thing
in many occasions. So I think that's huge. And tell
me a little bit about all of the other adventures
you have going on. So you do public speaking, you
do it, editing your coach, Uh, how does all that
come together?

Speaker 2 (23:04):
Right? So I'm moving into that. So I just did
I think I just did my first I used to
speak you know at my church, church events, youth events
and stuff like that years ago before I got divorced.
So I'm kind of starting over at this point as
far as speaking goes. So I did my first speaking
thing last month, and I'm working on other stuff too.

(23:27):
I'm developing that, putting that back together and uh, and
coaching too. I helped five people here in San Diego
build businesses and so now I'm living into the online
space and so that's something new, and like we talked about,
it's scary. It's new. It's scary. I haven't done this before.
So it's like you you look back and you go, okay,

(23:49):
well I've got some success here, but this is new,
and so it's definitely I have to deal with that
on an ongoing basis, putting yourself out there and saying hey,
I can do this, and you know, nobody knows you.
You're trying to get out there and for people who
don't know you and you know and say okay, I'm

(24:10):
your man, and you know. So uh. The I think
the best way I'm doing that is putting out content,
you know, just sharing in different places what I what
I know, and you know, what the things that God
has given me put in my heart, et cetera, et cetera,
And so I didn't know. I may have lost track

(24:32):
of your question.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
There no no asking about the things you have going
on right now and you're doing so that that that
that that's that's perfectly fine, got it. So you know,
obviously you're getting yourself, you know, out there and people
to get to know about you. If people want to
connect with you, find out more about the things you
have going on, how do they get a hold of you?

Speaker 2 (24:52):
Yeah, So probably the best way is just to go
to my website www dot Joseph deskcans dot So that's
j O S E P H D E S c
A n s dot com. So you'll probably have it
in the text and all that stuff. But nevertheless there
it is.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, for sure. So I think with everything you have
going on, there's gonna be something that you do daily, right,
A lot of people a ton of Robbins your first
time as rituals. Do you have any daily habits or
anything that you do on a day to day basis
to get you up and running.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
Yeah, Usually my day starts at four thirty. I get
up at four thirty because I have kids, you know,
and once the kids get up, you know it's over.
And so you have to have your quiet time with
the Lord. You have to make that first. That's my priority.
And so I get up, I make myself some mate.
People drink coffee, tree tea. I drink mate. So I

(25:50):
make myself some mate, maybe clean up the kitchen a
little bit, you know, for a half hour, and then
I spend an hour. My goal is to read ten
pages a day. That gets me through the Bible every
six months in my Bible. And so I do that,
and I pray and uh, then I go on to
whatever I'm doing. Some days are going I still have

(26:11):
a tree service. Some days I'm going out working on trees.
Other days I'm doing zoom calls like this and podcasts
and you know, adding content writing. Like last night, I
was thinking about my next book and what I need
the writing I need to do on that. So in
the next hopefully today, today or tomorrow, I'll be going

(26:33):
into that book and adding some stuff.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
So nice.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yeah, so my days change. They kind of go back
and forth from tree trimming and developing the speeching, coaching
writing stuff.

Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yeah. Well, what I like is that there's there's a
little bit of discipline there, right, And and again you know,
waking up early, spending time, some quiet time with the Lord,
things like that. And I think that that's a missing element.
And part of what things they like to foster in
this show is to showcase and show people that they
have to whatever that is for them. They got to
create some sort of habits, daily habits that are going

(27:10):
to help them move forward in life. Right, or is
it just getting up, getting on your phone or doing
all things that really doesn't serve you immediately? Right? My
last question for you is for the people that are
watching this or listening to this, if they're going through
any challenge, whatever challenge that might be, what is one
thing you can say to them so they can start

(27:31):
overcoming that challenge.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yeah, you need to give it to God, and you
need to find what God's word says about it. Because
God answers his word. You pray his word. It's in there,
and that's that's how you answer it. Just right off
the top of my head. You know. Daniel's an excellent
example of that, because they were in exile. He read
his Bible. He said, hey, this is seventy years seventy

(27:55):
years is up. It's time, and so he started praying
that and then he got the breakthrough. I'm sure there
was other people praying too, but he's the example that
we have set forth in the Bible, and so that's
our model and that's what we do. So you need
to seek God and believe he's going to do it.
The reason why people don't prayer read their Bible is
because they don't believe God's going to be active in

(28:17):
their life. And so once you get that reality, then
you set that time apart and then He can do
things for you like he did with my book. You know,
it was my habit to get up and I pray
at that time in life. I was doing it after
I dropped off the kids at school. At this point,
I do it early. But because I had that time

(28:38):
set apart and I did it and I was there, boom,
something happened. You know. God gave me a breakthrough. And
so if you want those breakthroughs in God, you have
to seek him.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Awesome. I love that. I love it well, Joseph again,
thank you for being here. Really enjoy our morning talk
and really appreciate you being on the show. Any last
minute words before I let.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
You go happy New Year and make your plan. I'm
working on my plan today for the next year and
also making long term plans. So put that together. That's
what we were talking about today, and set those goals
and go for it.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
Yeah. I love that again. Thank you again for being
here and I really appreciate you. And for the rest
of you guys, thank you for listening to the show.
Give me a favor. Please make sure you guys shared
this because definitely somebody needs to hear it.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Now.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
We'll see you guys at the next podcast show. Thank you,
Thank you for having me today. I am so glad
you've tuned into this podcast. You can find me at
your favorite podcast platform where you can like, subscribe, comment
and share, and to learn more about myself my services.
You can find me at www dot Caesararspino dot com

(29:51):
or you can also find me at your social media.
Thanks for joining me and I am looking forward to
having you at the next episode and know you truly
can overcome anything. Hi.

Speaker 3 (30:01):
I'm Caesar Espino, real estate investor, business coach and consultant
and author of the book You Can Overcome Anything even
when the World says No. My number is four two
four five zero one six zero four to six. In
my book, I talk about making the necessary changes to
shift your mind for prosperity and certainty. Pick up your
copy at Amazon. I also love helping families with their
real estate and can purchase your house fast and all cash.

(30:24):
Follow me on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn. My number is
four two four five zero one six zero four six

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You Can Overcome Anything: Ep 304 - Overcoming Fear – Joseph Descans

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}You Can Overcome Anything: Ep 304 - Overcoming Fear – Joseph Descans