You Can Overcome Anything: Ep 305 - Being Afraid of Being Seen – Shate Hayes - You Can Overcome Anything! Podcast Show

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are you looking for more out of your life? Do
you need ideas on how to start new businesses and
how to move forward in your own personal life? Well,
guess what you have come to a right radio show
at You Can Overcome Anything Podcast Show. You are learning
here from many people from all walks of life who

(00:22):
are sharing their challenges, their stories, their habits and the
mind shifts they had to overcome to become who they
are today. On top you will get a chance to
connect and see how you can overcome anything by networking
and learning about your next move through this radio show,
I present to you our great speakers at You Can

(00:46):
Overcome Anything Podcast Show with your host Caesar is you
know hellother and come back to another episode of You
Can Overcome Anything Podcast Show. It is their host Caesar
Espino and today I have a special guest. She is

(01:09):
in the secret weapon behind a countless career success stories.
A former dancer, dancer turn cancer and business strategies. She
transformed creative unique skills into fulfilling business paths and through
her company Careers Tour, she helps small businesses with contracts

(01:30):
and build genuine influence with her experience leading career programs
for career programs for thousands. She has cracked the code
for transforming hidden entrepreneurs into opportunity magnets. It is my
pleasure to contlduce to you, Sai te Hayes. How are you?

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Thanks for having me?

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yes, thank you, Thank you for being here. So what
can you tell me a little bit about you? Your upbringing?
Where are you originally from?

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yeah, I'm originally from Houston, Texas. I live in the
Atlanta area now, but born and raised in Texas. A
proud Southern bell and I yeah, grew up with sort
of I would say, a pretty joy filled, you know
experience always and creative kind of pursuits dance my entire life,

(02:23):
like you said in the intro, and really loved shows
and puppet shows. I was really into mister Rogers. So
I was kind of always sort of dancing performing around,
you know, growing up.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
God got it. Was that something that you kind of
had interest since the early ages or how did you
kind of dive into that?

Speaker 2 (02:44):
You know? It's it? I think it shows me. So
the story goes that I was really clumsy as a kid,
and my parents put me into dance classes to try
to get some grace. Like I was like running into
things and falling downstairs and things like that. So I
joined they put me in dance classes. Loved it and

(03:05):
I'm still really clumsy, but I dance. I dance really well.
So it's just yeah, it wasn't anything that I was like,
I would like to take dance. It was kind of
like out of necessity and it just stuck. So I
was fortunate enough to keep with that until you know,
the more advanced you get, the more expensive it becomes.
And so I did that through probably you know, like
middle school age before I had to kind of pivot

(03:26):
into other things.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
Got you you know, that's that's interesting, you know, and
I think that's probably something that many of us, like
we have a career path, or we have an idea
of what we want to do, even growing up right
through middle school, high school, and a lot of times
they believe that it could be the in many aspects,
the unfortunate leaving conditions that we might have, or maybe

(03:51):
our parents don't have the means or you know, and
then that dream kind of shatters, right, and then all
of a sudden you have to pivot, as you mentioned,
into something different, right, especially when you have a passion,
you know, man I really want this. You had parents
or yourself cannot afforded tell me about that, because I
think that you know, from your perspective, when people are

(04:14):
putting that situation, what is the best technique to not
get discourage of doing maybe the next big thing, maybe
when they're pivoting to something different.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, I'll say, you know, for me and my experience,
I even though maybe I didn't continue with dance in
a traditional way that I was when I was young,
I was there's always something else available. So I guess
what I'm trying to get is there's always an option.
You always have a choice, even if it might might
not be the first one that you intended. So even

(04:46):
though I did all of that growing up, I still
don't really understand that I could have a career as
a professional dancer. Quite honestly, we didn't have cable growing up,
so I didn't see you know, Michael Jackson videos and
Jane and Jackson videos like a lot of dancers did,
so I didn't know that what I I ended up
doing was even a possibility for me. But what I
did keep doing was just trying to follow the things
that were and like that I found joy in and

(05:09):
so even through college, I found ways to perform. Even
in high school, like when I wasn't in those dance
classes anymore, I found ways like be and the cheerleading
squad or like just always kind of found a different
way to express myself in ways that were joyous to me.
And then by the time I decided to pursue it
as a career, to just kind of say, hey, let
me see what's possible. Even in that, like I didn't

(05:33):
understand fully what I was going after, but I tried
to find ways to always keep this self expression, this
joy of self expression, until I eventually like got there
wherever there is, you know.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah, to tell me about how goodia came about? You know,
the business you're in, the company you have right now, right,
how did that come about? So you know you're helping
companies or individuals for that matter, right in terms of
career paths and influences and things. Tell me more about
what is it that you do and how you help
them and how did that come about?

Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah. So I had my dance career for about twelve
plus years, So I did everything, performed choreographs on the theater.
As you said, I got a master's in dance and
then I became a dance educator. And it was during
that time that I was in grad school where the
undergrads would learn about my career before then and be like, oh,
my goodness, you did all these things. You start your
career in LA, you kind of traveled, You've done so

(06:26):
many things that I want to do. Can you help me?
And it also sort of on the fly. When I
was in grad school, there was this career class for
undergrads where you know, they didn't have a teaching assistant,
and the department chair came in literally minutes before the
class started, so like five minutes before the class started
and said, hey, we have this class, it's starting now,
can you go help with it? And I went and

(06:46):
fell in love with the career part because it was like,
finally I can help someone, like the way the way
I wish I had been helped. I moved to LA
with my mom helping me, with like three hundred bucks
in my pocket, and like that's it. Tiny little apartment,
had no clue how to start a career and just
had to like figure it out. I was like going
to the library trying to find out how to find auditions,

(07:07):
like you know, how do I pay my bills, how
do I do my taxes? Like all of these things
I wish I had known, and I finally sort of
had a place to put all of that information that
I learned. And so that was the beginning of me
really helping people with their careers. And I loved it
so much that it carried on. So when I transitioned
from my dance career, I moved into a corporate role

(07:28):
in workforce development. So I was working in career programs
and helping adults regardless of their background, figure out how
to either transition or advance their careers. And again, it's
a passion that I have that is almost more than dance,
which was surprising to me because it was unexpected. Yeah,
after about six years in a corporate career, I was,

(07:50):
you know, at the opportunity to come back out on
my own and I was like, Okay, this is still
really important to me. I didn't always agree with the
approaches of workforce development programs in terms of let's focus
on the job. I'm not necessarily the person, and so
now in the work that I do, I have an
opportunity to really have a purpose in person focused business
where I help you professionals find ways to be self employed,

(08:13):
and it's to work independently, because, yeah, the job market
is a hotness and you see what's going on with
the government and all those people losing jobs and all
those things. So you know, I think it's important that
we all have some sort of skill set that we
can monetize, even if you decide to use it only
as a side hustle or something like that.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Right, So your company, what they're doing is essentially is
like career helping people build the career path in the
kind of like the entrepreneurial aspect per.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
Se, right, absolutely, and the terms. The part about the
influence is it comes from learning how to talk about
what you do. So one of the things that I
really understood, even in working in a career space helping
people get traditional jobs, is you only advance so far
as you're able to tell the story. So whether that
be in the interview process or they're trying to get

(09:00):
a promotion, no matter what you're doing, if you don't
tell the right story, you're not getting that opportunity. So
it's really really important even as entrepreneurs and how we're
telling our story, what we say in order to get clients,
in order to get influenced and opportunities. All of that
is storytelling. So in addition to sort of helping folks
uncover the path that's best for them according to their

(09:22):
skill sets and then make sure that they have all
the right sort of business acumen, we really work on
you know, how you're telling your story as well that
feels authentic and know why that feels authentic to you?

Speaker 1 (09:32):
Yeah, And I think that leads to my next question,
which you talked about and is very interesting, And I
want to know how many how much of these do
you see when you're talking to your clients, But you
talk about you know, even for yourself, you know, being
afraid of being seen right or too scared to be
seen for fear of judgment, right, And I think that's

(09:53):
huge right right now with social media, with you know,
like you're in everybody's eyes and you're just afraid of
you know, what are they gonna think? You know, did
I say the right things?

Speaker 2 (10:01):
You know?

Speaker 1 (10:02):
How am I dressed? Like? There's always this judgment? Right?
Tell me more about how one can overcome that, especially
if you're trying to be seen. And I don't think
is a negative thing. I think, if you're especially an entrepreneur,
you gotta get out there. You gotta get your name,
you gotta talk about your story, You got to talk
about what it is that you do. Except again, we

(10:22):
are so afraid of judgment. Right. I remember when I
first did some of the things that I started doing,
like my podcast and you know, I'm twenty four times
book author. When I first did any of those things,
when I started, like, you know, for my books, like
are people gonna read my book? What are they gonna think?
I'm not a writer? And when I started doing my product,
like what are people gonna think? You know, all these
different things coming to pain, and sometimes we allowed the

(10:44):
fear of the unknown, and we also allowed those little
voices to get into into the best of you. Right,
So tell me about your experience and then tell me
how you're helping clients really overcome that, because that's a
huge thing. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
Well, first of all, congratulations on twenty four books. That's incredible,
that's awesome, awesome, And what you just described is exactly it.
It's what it's all the things that are in our
heads that are keeping us from taking the next step.
So what I see in terms of clients, and I
experienced myself, Like I said, you know, I was a performer.
It's so so, so so comfortable with like getting on

(11:20):
a stage in front of so many strangers. But then
there was something about being seen by the people around
me that knew me that felt like, oh, it's so
sticky either going to judge me or I'm not quite
the expert, or insert whatever limiting belief I might have.
And it really kept me in a place of sort
of building an isolation. And as you know, as an entrepreneur,

(11:41):
that is not the way to growth. That's not how
you get business. You can't build an isolation or in
a vacuum and think that you're going to be successful.
It's a really really easy way to burn out as well.
And so I really had to learn like, once I
actually became more comfortable with myself, accepted myself personally, then
the outward judge I think became a little bit less.

(12:03):
It mattered less. And one of the things I see
a lot with clients is like, especially I deal with
a lot of folks who are coming out of a
corporate space or some other full time sort of work thing.
One person was a professor, you know, but It's like,
what are all of those people going to say, you know,
all of a sudden, I've been this professional in a
corporate space, this executive with this certain title, and now
here I am saying I'm something else. How do I

(12:25):
tell that story? Or what if there's a gap of
between what I used to do and what I'm doing now,
how do I how do I say that? Are people
going to think? You know, I'm afraid? Do I need
to get more skills or credentials or licenses behind me?
Like it's all of this kind of what boils down
to to be honest es or is like am I enough?
You know, like am I enough? Well? People think I'm enough?

(12:46):
Are they going to believe me? Am I going to
be able to do it? And that's kind of under
the essence of all of those feelings and in terms
of how I help my clients, we kind of work
through some of that. It's a mindset, right, you know,
this work we just work through that. We sort of
try to focus on the facts over our feelings. So, yes,
if we're all afraid, that's normal where humans we're supposed

(13:08):
to feel the feelings of fear, but we aren't supposed
to let fear paralyze us. And so instead of focusing
on the feelings, we focus on what are the facts
of the situation? What have you accomplished? How what are
the things that you've already done that have helped people?
Like how have you even gotten to this place where
you're an executive? Like there must be some reason, right,
So can we focus on those things? And then the
other thing that really helps us to just focus on

(13:30):
the one step, because I'm also a person that sort
of I get overwhelmed by the big picture and it's like,
oh my gosh, there's so much to do. How am
I going to accomplish at all? And it's like, Okay,
instead of looking at the biggest picture, can we look
at the step that's immediately in front of us and
just do that? You know?

Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, you know you said something that I think is
huge and and and I like, you know, the fact
that you're really honing in on the idea of let's
focus on the facts and not on the not so
much on the feelings. And while the feelings are, you know,
they're there. We're gonna have emotions, right, and that's gonna
happen in regardless, right, Nevertheless, We've got to be able

(14:07):
to look beyond that. It's like, you know, if you're
fear what is that saying? If you're fear, be fearful
and do it anyways, right, I have to be able
to do that. And then the other thing that you
mentioned that I think is a huge thing that we're
struggling with or challenge with people in general, is am
I enough? Am I good enough to be able to
do or put out whatever information I want to put out? Right?

(14:29):
And I think that when once we can recognize that, yes,
you are number one, number two, you can recognize that
whatever place you're at, even if you're in the process.
A lot of people like people that are in the process,
not the people that are already ahead like I would
like somebody more. They're in the process because they're they're
actually doing the work right, And so then you can

(14:51):
fall back. It's like that reality is creative by validation, Right,
you fall back into that and you're like, Okay, well,
if I'm in the process, then you know I know
that I at one point I have something probably even
better or bigger whatever than somebody else. I can always
teach something something to somebody, right, And so you've got
to be recognize that, and so I think that's huge

(15:13):
in that sense. And I like the fact that you're
working through people with people and getting them identify that,
which is good.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah, yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. I mean, I'd
love to hear from you though, Like even in your
book you can overcome anything, even when the world says no.
And then even reading your story and saying how much
you has overcome, what is it that kind of keeps
you going in the face of all of the fear.
I heard you say, do it scared? But is there
anything else that that works for you?

Speaker 1 (15:37):
Yeah? You know, I think for me and you said it,
it is all mindset. The biggest thing is I do
believe that you have to you have to tell yourself
and position yourself that you have to work on your mind.
And for me, I worked a lot on my mind.
I worked a lot on my fears. I'm not saying

(15:57):
that I'm not fearful now. I definitely I am. And
there's a lot of things that are happening that I'm like, man,
why is this happening? Nevertheless, I try to not look
at it from the perspective the victim. Things do happen.
Uh And and I believe that they happen for a reason,
and they don't they're not happening to you either, happening
for you. Right, And so for me, one of the

(16:18):
biggest things that I had to do to be able
to do really anything is really work on my mind
and and and there's a whole list of things that
I that I that I've done and I do even
now to be able to give me a positive state
of mind. Like you know, we talked about you know,
you know, you see the news. There's a lot of
bad news, and I try not to listen and look
at the news because I believe that there's a negative program.

(16:39):
I tend to not listen to things that are not
serving me. I tend to read a lot. So there's
a lot of different components that help me get to
where I need to be right, even a difficult, challenging time.

Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
So so the other thing too that I like here
and I'm looking at my notes and says something about
uh uh. And it seems like people come across and
you come across with a lot of people said, you know, well,
I don't know if I can do this career path.
I don't know if I can take this this this
this route right. And I like when you said you
can whatever career or life you imagine yourself you can

(17:15):
have it. Just own your story, trust yourself, and be
patient through the process. I think that's very powerful and
I think that's huge, And so walk me through that
because I do believe that again we go back to
the one thing we were limiting ourselves from, from our
true purpose. I like the idea, though, of whatever career

(17:38):
or life you can imagine for yourself you can have,
except where at least I wasn't. And I think, you know,
you see a lot of though you you're born into
the society where you know, hey you gotta work hard.
Hey no, not that you're not. You may not be
able to get everything. You know, Oh that's not for you.

(17:58):
Like you know a lot of times, you know, hear
this and things that are just kind of putting you down.
You can imagine. I think it was Les Brown, I
know it was Steve Harvey right that he talked about
a school project and then he put up, I'm going
to be one one day, I'm going to be in TV, right,
and the teacher's like nobody in our town has been
in TV? What makes you think you're going to be
in town? So right away that image, that idea that

(18:20):
he had, he was knocked out. Luckily he continued, right,
so it's those things, right, tell me about that?

Speaker 2 (18:27):
Oh man, how much time you got it? Really? It
really does break my heart to really hear like stories
like that, or even to the thing is, okay, how
do I say this? You know that book the Four Agreements? Right,
we're all sort of just operating based on the agreements
that we have with ourselves. And so even for that

(18:50):
teacher to say that to a child, to a student,
it's based on her own or their own right beliefs
or agreements that they have with themselves. And I've learned
when you're like people like us, are you have these
huge dreams? One you really do? That's why they say
they tell people to really be mindful of who you
share your dreams with. You can't share them with everyone,

(19:11):
because what happens more often than not is that people
are going to project their own fears and limiting beliefs
onto you. And so what Steve Harvey got was an
example of that, Like that person felt like, well, I've
never seen It was also why representation is important. I've
never seen it, so it must not be true. I'm
going to have to stay here, So that must mean

(19:31):
this be the same for you. And so you really
can only trust your dream with so you know so
many folks. When it comes to entrepreneurship, it really does matter,
or even anything you do in your life, it matters
who you surround yourself with. You got to be like
in those circles with folks who are even if they're
not ahead of you, maybe you're all aspiring to the
same things. You're keeping each other accountable, you know, like

(19:53):
you're encouraging one of the one another. The mindset is
so so so important because you know, as I mean thinks,
you'll act right, even how you speak, you'll act. So
all of that is so important. And then the part
about patience, Oh my goodness, like I've learned the hard way,
Like in my twenties trying to build a career in

(20:14):
la and I was just so in a rush to
get somewhere. I was just so in a hurry and
so frustrated that I wasn't getting there wherever there is
quick enough, and so I just burnt myself out. I
remember probably the last year I was in LA, I
was working overnight at a hotel because you know, that's

(20:35):
how I was paying my bills. But then I would leave.
So I was working a graveyard shift from like ten
to seven in the morning or eleven to seven, and
then like leave, sometimes going straight to auditions, and then
I might sink for a couple hours and then I
go to class because that's where networking happens. And I'm
just like on this hamster wheel and seeing my friend's
book Beyonce and Terreese and like all of these things,

(20:57):
and I'm just like just you know, and frustrated, until
finally I was like, you know what, I quit. I'm
not doing this anymore. I'm going to leave. And so
I actually ended up leaving La not too long after
that because I felt like I didn't book Beyonce, It's over.
You know, I didn't get to I didn't get to
what I wanted to do. But quite honestly, it was

(21:19):
just a mindset thing. It It wasn't healthy in my
mind and my body or my spirit, and so that
that is not actually conducive to success itself. So actually
moved back to Texas and rested for about a month,
and then all of a sudden, I had this regional
dance career that I had not anticipated. Right, So my
career took off when I was able to just settle down,

(21:42):
leave it off a little bit, and then apply everything
that I learned in that season of my career to
this new season, and then it kind of took off
on the way I hadn't expected. So patience is a
huge part. It is probably one of the hardest parts
mindset and patients. Right, the doing of the stuff is
just task mixed things. I think those of the simple parts.
It's really overcoming what's in here and and then again

(22:04):
what what you said before in terms of what you see,
like that part is the hardest part.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah, you know, I can only relate and and definitely,
I mean I think I have mastered the mindset for sure.
I can tell you all the patience part of it,
and and and and do not even now. I mean,
you know, I believe I am patient, ex I know
that I can do a lot more right and and
part of it, like you said, you know, I want
to get there. I want to be there. I want
to already, you know, Like, why is this taking too long? Right,

(22:30):
and and uh, it's funny, like, you know, I've been
an entrepreneur almost at seven eighty years since I left
my auntil five, and uh, I think part of that
has kept me going is that it's being patient has
been uh, having that pathitive mindset. Get Sometimes I'm like,
you know, feel like, man, I'm not where I need
to be, Like I'd been on this journey for way
too long? How much more time? Right? And you start

(22:52):
thinking about those things, and so then people get discouraged
and say, hey, you know what why you know? And
this could be Really I believe that that's something that
can apply to not just in your business, it could
be in anything, right, it could be relationships, it could
be you know, anything in your life, your personal life.
And being able to have the patience to just let

(23:13):
things flow is not as easy yet I do know
it's powerful. And that's why one of the things that
I started doing, I think, actually, maybe you can give
me some tips in terms of what can somebody do
to be more patient and have yeah, and be more
in that space, because that is huge.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Oh my goodness, this is a very good question and
it's definitely something I personally am still working through. Myself.
I'm just gonna be honest. I don't know how else
to be. I think one of the things that is
key here or what I'll say this, one of the
things that's helped me is my spiritual practice is faith.

(23:56):
And so you know, I've really had to learn that
there is only so much my control and then I
personally believe that there is part of life that is
bigger than me, and so I have to trust that
divine timing and you know, I have to trust that
part of you know, the creative of a universe. However
you identify sort of that energetic force that that is

(24:19):
that plays a part in it. And so I can
focus on what I can control is the things that
I can control, doing my part right, making sure that
I am working in a spirit of excellence, that I'm
accountable to say what I'm doing, what I'm saying I'm
going to do. And then the rest of it is
trust in that you know, force that's bigger than me.
I would say life has really humbled me and slowed

(24:40):
me down to where I'm like, okay, you know, part
of it is sort of meditation and the mindset practice
of just like understanding that where I am now is
exactly where I'm supposed to be, and whatever's for me
is for me. It can't be missed. So there is
no rush to get into it, because another part of
my spiritual practice is if I get to it too
soon and I am personally not developed enough to sustain it,

(25:03):
then it can be disastrous. So whenever it comes to me,
then I will be the right version of me to
handle it. Maybe my mindset, my strength, and my will,
my how I'm working, my network, everything that I have
will be in place to write to really steward that
opportunity or that experience or that season well. And so
it's it's it might sound a little blue to some folks,

(25:26):
but it's really it's just learning to sort of settle.
It's a mindfulness, it's meditation, it's spiritual practice, it's and life.
Life will literally just be the best teacher for you.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
I definitely agree with you. I think all of the
above and and and and and you're right. I think
that's that's uh. You know, I always say, you know,
whether it's God or whatever higher being you believing, you
got to just have that trust, right and and you know,
the idea of sitting in silence or meditating, and actually
that's a whole different conversation, and there's the wrong way

(26:01):
of doing that except just having that learning how to
be at piece in silence for a little bit, because
even people are like, oh man, three seconds, come on,
let's go hurry up kind of thing, right, And so
you've gotta be able to to to to learn how
to do that. One thing that I have learned, uh,
through talking to other people, especially the people that are uh,

(26:23):
you know, up on an age, right, is that that
that's one thing that they said, I don't have patience,
you know, I don't have the time. You know, my
time is limited, you know. And and I get that
a lot, and and that I think that that maybe
people that are in different stages and their lives will
see it differently, and and and and and I also
seen it on the flips. I was like, Hey, I

(26:44):
already lived all my life, and I have more time
to live than than I can imagine. Right. So it's
those different elements too, right, And I think comes back
to perception is it comes down to how do you
see things? It comes down to, uh, what thoughts are
going through your mind? Right? In terms of that, So, yeah,
So how do you help people or working people find

(27:06):
you and learn more about the things you have going on.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
Yeah. One of my favorite ways to share people in
terms of getting in touch with me or learning what
we have going on is through my company blog. It's
called the purpose Post, and I literally every week post
new articles about building a purpose driven business or body
of work, mindset things, tips that I've learned. I invite
entrepreneurs in my network to share their story, and so

(27:32):
there's still so much goodness there, and you can subscribe
for weekly stories. I shared all of my sort of
career and business popos and fumbles and all of that.
But you can find that at the purposepost dot com
and you'll be connected to everything I have going on
from there.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
Awesome. And people that work with you are there over
the just the US space or there are different places
or anybody can come and work with you.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
That's a good question. My community of sort of like
the readers or folks that I have because I've had
sort of this. I've been writing about career and business
building for quite some time, so I have about a
thousand plus folks in that community. There are folks in
that community from all over, like I've gotten emails from
folks who were in Cameroon, and just like so many
different places, the folks that I actually end up working with, though,

(28:22):
have all been US based, if I'm not mistaken. So
it's maybe a hybrid of the two. You know, anyone
is welcome to be inspired by you know, the content
and experiences. Also do sort of free workshops every months.
You can get all that information at the Purpose Post.
So and yeah, but the folks who actually sort of

(28:43):
reach out to work with me are usually US based.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
Got you, okay, got it, got it? Got it okay.
So a couple of questions for you for the people
that are watching is you kind of give us quite
a few tips thory. But for the people that are
watching this right now, if they're going to do any challenge,
whatever challenge that might be, what are a few things
or one thing they can do to start overcoming that challenge.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
Any challenge personal or business or yeah, yeah, huh okay,
so let me zoom out any challenge. I consider myself
a strategist, like a systems thinker, So I think the
first thing that I would say is how can we

(29:30):
shift your perspective so that you can get from underneath
the challenge. I think a lot of times we sort
of position ourselves under the weight of the thing that
we're feeling, and so it's helpful to try to get
to zoom out to see above it a little bit
if possible, meaning like, what's the end goal that you
want to accomplish. Yeah, she might be frustrated, tired, fatigued,

(29:51):
answert whatever the feeling is now stuck, but is what
would you like to see happen instead? What would you
like to be true for you instead? And then think
about how we can possibly get there. I think that
skip a step. I would say, acknowledge how you're feeling.
That's probably one of the first things. Like we don't

(30:11):
have to ignore them, we don't have to brush them
under the rug. We don't have to say that they're bad.
I think our feelings are important. There's signals to us,
and they signal that we're human and that you know,
like sometimes or I think a lot of times, I've
read a number of books that say, like you're going
to feel in your body first before you can even
mentally process what's going on, So like, understand how you're

(30:32):
feeling in your body and your spirit on your mind,
and then if you can sift out the facts from
the feelings in that situation and then start to think about, Okay,
how can we sort of engineer the steps to move
towards where you want to be instead of where you
are now? So poles reflect on your feelings, acknowledge them,
and then let's start to figure out how we're gonna

(30:53):
move towards where you want to be instead. The thing
that I'd like to say though the folks, is, you know,
some people say stuff because I feel like they have
no choice, they have no say in the matter. And
as human beings, we really have more power than I
think that we allow ourselves to acknowledge. And for very
real circumstances. Right, life has been hard, probably an oppressive

(31:17):
system like all of that is true that I'm not
negating or disputing any of that, and we still have
a level of choice in our lives. It might require
some difficult decisions to be made. Right, You might have
to leave some people that you've been around for a
really long time. You might have to leave some places,
You might have to change some things about you that

(31:39):
will be difficult, and you still have a choice to
move into a better situation and so you know, have
some grace for yourself as you're trying to figure that
out for yourself, have some grace for yourself, for yourself
as you're moving through the process. There is no such
thing as perfection. I'm learning not every day, and you
can move forward and then also kind of be set
back and then just you know, just keep just just

(32:01):
don't quit on yourself. I think it's important.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
Yeah, I like that, and I like the the idea
of self reflecting and and and allowing yourself to feel
the things yet and do that self reflecting. And I
think that's part of the reason why we many of
us don't don't tend to get ahead, is because of
the idea of react too fast, and we don't you know,
we don't think before we act. And sometimes you know,

(32:27):
is that you know, it can be like a you know,
this is a common practice that I think we should
be done. When you're fine with your significant others, like
you gotta have you need to have a cooler period
to kind of reflect before you do or say something
that you might regread. And it's like anything in life, right,
we need to do more of that. And I really
think that's that's a huge golden nugget, So thank you

(32:47):
for sharing that. Anything else you want to say before
I let you go.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
No, I think we've said it all is touched on
a lot of different things. I've enjoyed this conversation, suesus,
So thank you so much for having me. It's it's
such a pleasure.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
Yeah, well, definitely, thank you for being here. I appreciate
our conversation and thank you again for everything that you do.
And for the rest of you guys, do me a favor.
Please make sure that you check her out. I'll go
ahead and subscribe, and also do me a fair shared
this message and this interview with somebody because definitely somebody
in secured this message. And I'll see you guys to
the next episode of You Can Overcome Anything podcast show.

(33:22):
Thank you, shakee tay, Thank you father.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
Hi.

Speaker 3 (33:28):
I'm Caesar Espino, real estate investor, business coach and consultant
and author of the book You Can Overcome Anything Even
When the World says No. My number is four two
four five zero one six zero four to six. In
my book, I talk about making the necessary changes to
shift your mind for prosperity and certainty. Pick up your
copy at Amazon. I also love helping families with their
real estate and can purchase your house fast and all cash.

(33:50):
Follow me on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn. My number is
four two four five zero one six zero four six.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Thank you for having me today. I am oh glad
you've tuned into this podcast. You can find me at
your favorite podcast platform where you can like, subscribe, comment
and share, and to learn more about myself my services.
You can find me at www dot Caesararspino dot com
or you can also find me at your social media.

(34:19):
Thanks for joining me and I am looking forward to
having you at the next episode. And no, you truly
can overcome anything.

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You Can Overcome Anything: Ep 305 - Being Afraid of Being Seen – Shate Hayes

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}You Can Overcome Anything: Ep 305 - Being Afraid of Being Seen – Shate Hayes