You Can Overcome Anything: Ep 307 - When Excellence Is the Threat – Felisha Renee - You Can Overcome Anything! Podcast Show

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are you looking for more out of your life? Do
you need ideas on how to start new businesses and
how to move forward in your own personal life? Well,
guess what you have come to a right radio show
at You Can Overcome Anything Podcast Show. You are learning
here from many people from all walks of life who

(00:22):
are sharing their challenges, their stories, their habits and the
mind shifts they had to overcome to become who they
are today. On top you will get a chance to
connect and see how you can overcome anything by networking
and learning about your next move through this radio show.
I present to you our great speakers at You Can

(00:46):
Overcome Anything Podcast Show with your host.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Caesar Is you know?

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Hello and welcome back to another episode of You Can
Overcome Anything Podcast Show. It is your host Caesar Spinham
and today I have a special guess. She is a
powerhouse leadership coach, author of Girl If You Were a Man,
and the unapologic voice behind the movement helping women lead

(01:16):
without shrinking. After climbing the corporate ladder from the bottom
of senior operations manager to one of the most demanding
companies in the world, she faced the reality that confidence
and competence in women are often mistaken for thread her
book and coaching platform barriers to brilliance are disrupting the

(01:40):
outdated rule book of how women should lead. Known for
her unfiltered truth, renless, relentless standards, and Medusa inspired grit,
she teaches women how to command respect, break performance scenes,
and own their own power without apology. She's not here
to seer co leadership. She's here to redefine it. It

(02:02):
is my pleasure to introduce you to Felicia Renee. Hey, Felicia,
how are.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
You, Hypesessar? I am doing well. How are you?

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I'm doing wonderful. Thank you man.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
You know, I know we're talking and you have so
many things going on for yourself right now. And I
know I kind of gave a little bit of a
background of what you have going on right now, but
I want to take it back. I want to take
it back, and I want to the audience to learn
more about who you are.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Tell us a little bit about your.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Upbringing, where you're origin from, and give us a little
bit of that backstory.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
Absolutely, my pleasure. Very proud of my upbringing. I am
a copper miner's daughter. I come from a small town
in eastern Arizona. It's a copper mining town. My great
grandfather actually migrated from Mexico to go and work in
the copper mines back in the early nineteen hundreds, and
that's where kind of my dad's family history began.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
And I grew up.

Speaker 4 (03:03):
My father raised me to be a survivor and to
be a human being. I wasn't exactly raised, you know,
to wear dresses and you know, to you know, not
get hurt or anything like that. I was actually the
most prone to accidents, where everybody in my family. I
followed the car when I was due.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
I've broken my.

Speaker 4 (03:20):
Ankle, you know, I've had I have so many scars,
and I loved every moment of it. And so a
lot of my upbringing was camping and fishing and doing
those types of things. And that's something that I still
own today. I love being in that natural element. And

(03:40):
so I grew up playing sports. I played pretty much
any sport that you can think of. Back then, they
used to call it like being like a tomboy, and
I really didn't see it that way, just because you know,
you're just growing up and you're having fun. And I
had three brothers. I have three brothers, and so I
grew up a lot around them and that mass skill
and energy and so you know, that's just kind of

(04:03):
something that is already and naturally inside of me. And
I also have three boys as well, so that kind
of just you know, goes in and flows very very nicely.
And so my backstory. Seventeen years old, I had my
first son, and that was definitely one of the first

(04:23):
roles in leadership that you take on, as you know,
being a parent is to lead you know, your children
and to be able to raise them. And so that's
really where those natural skill sets just kind of you
know came in, was being able to raise my son
against all odds and statistics you know, of war I

(04:44):
was supposed to be and who I am supposed to
be statistically but not me. Nope, I own my power
and I know that you know, there are people not
only do my sons, but there's people around me that
depend on someone like me to be able to make
good decisions and do the right thing. And so that's

(05:05):
where you know, you hit and miss and those kinds
of you know, aspects of life. But I wouldn't change
anything for you know, from where I am I am at.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Right now, yeah, well that's that's huge. And and even
you know, kind of going back to to to to
the power you stepped into at an early age and
and saying, hey, you know, now there's somebody else that
I gotta look after, right and doing that that by
itself speaks volumes.

Speaker 2 (05:34):
So let me ask you this once.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
You so you had your first son at the age
of seventeen, you know what was that after that? You know,
like you know, I know a lot of a lot
of times people say, hey, you gotta go to school,
get a good education. Kind of go through that journey.
Obviously I took a little bit of a twist in
your life. But tell me how was that for you?
Because I even I believe now a lot of people

(05:58):
might might be facing teenage parenting, right, and so you know,
you being a teenager and also being a parent, and
so what is the advice and from your perspective to
be able to steal stick to Hey, you know you
still have a whole live ahead of you or in reality,
you don't, you know? And I go back to that,
and I'll talking to some people last week, and no,

(06:19):
younger people believe that they have plenty of time to
live right, older people like man, I wish I would
have started a lot sooner, and so, you know, you
know a lot of times we would just say things
for granted, So what would be your advice and what
you do in that in that situation.

Speaker 4 (06:34):
Stay the course, persevere against all odds that are going
to be against you, because it's going to keep coming.
It doesn't end there. Just because you overcome one thing
doesn't mean that you overcome everything. And your series, in
your books, you can overcome anything. It keeps going and
going and going, because there's so many elements in life.
Being seventeen years old, I have nothing. I had absolutely nothing.

(06:55):
I had love that was pretty much all that I had,
and I didn't even have a finished education at that time.
And so I was actually looking at a picture of
myself or I'm in bed and I have my you know,
a little pregnant ballot hanging out, and I remember that
seventeen year old girl who was just afraid and scared

(07:19):
of like how am I going to raise this child?

Speaker 3 (07:22):
And what is going to be his future?

Speaker 4 (07:25):
And I could have, you know, just settled and been like, Okay,
well I'm you know, maybe I drop out of school
and you know, I go look for a job, but
jobs are very scarce in a small town, you know,
and very few opportunities to be employed, you know, being
at that age, and it was I had to be

(07:47):
able to pivot and make being pregnant work and still
finish my education, in which I did. I found alternatives
you know, to the traditional high school of going to
a high school, you know, that kind of just suited
more of you know, where I was at in my life,
because I had to meet myself where I was at
and not where I thought, you know, of who I was.

(08:10):
And so I was able to finish my high school education.

Speaker 3 (08:14):
But it didn't stop there.

Speaker 4 (08:15):
When I took a look around me and I took
a look at the elements of how I, you know,
grew up, which is a great upbringing, no regrets about that.
I wanted a little bit more for my son, and
I wanted him to be exposed more to life than
just you know, small town living. And so I made
the decision at nineteen years old that I was not

(08:38):
going to stay in my small town because I wanted
more opportunity for myself first and foremost, and I wanted
more opportunity for my son. So I left everything that
I knew behind, everything that structured me as being safe
of family, you know, around to you know, kind of
just catch you when you fall, and you know, to

(08:58):
uproot my son from everything that he had known at
being such a small age of you know, his cousins
and people that you know. So it was letting go
of that safety knit. And I moved to Tucson at
that age, and I started creating just a little bit
better of a life.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
And it was a crawl. It didn't happen overnight.

Speaker 4 (09:19):
I took on jobs that I had no idea what
I was doing. I was actually a delivery driver for
Domino's is one of my first jobs. And coming from
a small town we have like two stop lights and
four stop signs north, southeast and west, really wasn't you
know a thing as far as like knowing, you know,
numbers of the streets and the way that they lie

(09:42):
on one side or another because a lot of our
streets are only one sided. And so taking on that job,
my manager and my supervisor had a bet and they
said she's gonna get two weeks.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
We give her two weeks.

Speaker 4 (09:55):
You know, And it was just and I will tell
you there were times where I was in my car
and I was like, what my.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Doing this is?

Speaker 4 (10:01):
This is frustrating. You know, what am I going to do?
And I stuck it out. I worked there for two
years and I learned the lay of the land and
how things worked, and I met a lot of great people,
which you know, put me into another path of starting
my career at twenty five years old in the corporate environment.
So my message to anyone who's in that state right

(10:25):
now of teen pregnancy and not knowing where to go, persevere,
stay the path, educate yourself. Nowadays, there's so many resources
that you have online that you can, you know, just
kind of pull from. But the one thing that it
doesn't teach you is to be able to own your
power that you already have inside of you and move

(10:46):
forward positively and do great things around you because you
have no idea how many people you're going to impact
along the way.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah, So did you move you had you know anybody
who when you mold or you just already picked up
and left you and your son just by myself.

Speaker 4 (11:03):
No, so my son and his dad and I know
we knew people around in that area, but it was
literally just I think I had like maybe five hundred
dollars in my pocket, and that was to get a
moving truck for what little that we did have and

(11:26):
move into apartment. And honestly, I was not I was
not as prepared as I could have been. I just
knew I had a dream and I knew I wanted
more in life, and so it was just like it's
now or never, and taking those leaps in life. There's
a lot of fear that comes with it. And there's
a couple of videos that I show, and there's one

(11:46):
in particular where I was in the Amalfi Coast last
year and I'm jumping into the Mediterranean Sea and I've
never jumped into a sea before, and you know, going
to some kind of water like that is very, very scary,
especially if you're doing it from twelve feet high, and
so there's that moment where you kind of just pause

(12:08):
and you're like, am I going to And if you
don't follow that all the way through, you're going to
take a step back. And the same thing with turning
point right when we're eating that fire. If you don't
have that constant flow of just going for it and
not thinking about it and knowing what you know, the
goal is in mind, you're going to hesitate and it's
going to keep you from you know, achieving those goals

(12:32):
and so like again, just keep that perseverance in that
open mind and that fear it will diminish because you know,
through a mountain, you can move it, you can go
around it, you can go underneath it, you can you know,
climb over it, and sometimes it stops you in your
path where sometimes if you keep that perseverance, you can
turn the mountain into gold. And that's where I am

(12:53):
right now in life. And so I want to be
that inspiration not only for women you know, who are
in the corporate environment, but for anybody who is seeing
the struggles of you know, just early childhood of having
those types of just life you know, scenarios in general.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, you know, you know a few things that you
talked about telling your story and how you move to
from your small town to Tucson. A few things that
that popped in my mind. Number one, you you have
to pivot. You know, you're you're you're looking at how
can I pivot? How can I make this change? You
were in your mind, you knew you wanted something we

(13:31):
talked about manifestation. We talked about vision, we talked about
looking beyond right. You need to know where you are
today to know where you want to be tomorrow right,
and so you do that, you have to pivot, and
yet you didn't know exactly how you were going to
do it. You pivot, You had an idea of what
you wanted to do, and you went after it. The
second thing that came to mind, which I think is

(13:51):
one of the biggest things where people struggle and are
challenge with, is that with all of that, you had
to come to a decision. You have to decide, you
said he at the age of nineteen. I'm like, hey,
you know you probably we're thinking about it for a
couple of weeks or months whatever. Nevertheless, you took the
decision to say, this is what I'm going to do,

(14:13):
whatever it takes place right. And the biggest challenge that
I see when people are not getting ahead or moving
forward is because they struggle and making the decision. And
I always tell people people believe that the after fact
is the hardest thing. I believe that it's not. I
believe the hardest thing is making the decision that today
will be the day that I'm going to make the

(14:34):
change today?

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Is that day? Right?

Speaker 1 (14:36):
Because people are afraid of commitment and or falling through
with that decision, right, And so I always tell people, like,
the hardest thing to do is make the decision. Once
you make the decision, you just you just make that
easier for you because now it's all the aftermath. Okay,
now I made the decision, I'm committing. What do I
need to do to make that happen? And even if

(14:56):
you were to make a decision that probably is not
served you as much as you wanted to serve you. Again,
you have the opportunity to pivot again and make it
out of decision is to keep going and going and going.
And so I love that about you, the fact that
you made that, and and I see it since the
first day that I met you.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
You're doing a lot of different things.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
You're taking a lot of a lot of not necessarily
a risk in essence where you're risking a lot of stuff.
I think they're calculator risks. You're you're you're betting on yourself.
You're looking at, hey, I'm going to make this happen.
And and and I think that's huge from that perspective.

Speaker 3 (15:30):
Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that calculator risks.

Speaker 4 (15:34):
You know, that was actually a terminology that I learned
in my just most recent career, you know, and you
have to be able to just you know, measure of
where you are and where you want to be and
everything that's in between. And when people ask, you know,
what is the biggest you know, decisions that you made

(15:54):
in your life. The biggest decision was having my son.
That's the biggest decision that I have made in my life.
And having my two sons after that. Those are the
biggest decisions that you make in life because you're responsible
for something and you don't know how it's going to
work out.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
You really don't. But that's for me.

Speaker 4 (16:13):
My sons are my peak, like I've already peaked at that,
you know, in life, I created a human for goodness sakes,
and so that's just something special in itself and figuring
it out along the way.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
It's not easy, you know.

Speaker 4 (16:26):
And I know that there's a quote that Bob Marley
has that he says something in the form of if
it were easy, then it wouldn't be amazing. And you know,
I have a tattoo on my left leg that's in
Latin that reads, you know, normal can never be amazing.
So if you're sticking in just that comfort zone and

(16:49):
you don't want to ruffle feathers or you don't want
to put rips, you know, within the water, then you're
going to stay exactly where you are. But what's the
price of that? The price regret not knowing what you
could be and to your fullest potential and being able
to become a better version of yourself all of the
time I have I grow every day. My sons teach

(17:14):
me something every day, My faith teaches me something every day.
And it's really just you know, being uncomfortable with being comfortable,
you know, and having that perseverance in order to move
to the next level and making the decision because you
are right, making the decision is the hardest thing. I

(17:37):
just made a decision a couple of days ago, and
leading up to that decision, I was having, you know,
just some like you know, thoughts of like fear and anxiety,
and you know, things like that they're going to come.
Just because you overcome one thing doesn't mean that those
same feelings aren't going to come again, you know. But
you learn through those experiences of like Hey, I've already
done this here. You know, I'm going to take those

(17:59):
you know, same steps and that same path and apply
them and we're going to make this work. And we're
going to look at this positively and see the end
goal and bring people along, you know, the way to
be able to support you and you, you know, are
one of my you know, great supporters, and so you know,
I am blessed to know you and to be able

(18:21):
to come and be here with you today and have
a book that came out of it, and now we're
on a podcast, and we're going to do many more
great things together.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Yeah, for sure, I'm excited. I'm looking forward to that.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Tell me a little bit about your experience and working
in the corporate world, right, I mean obviously, you know,
I to come from from that environment and and there's
a lot of things going on except and depending on
where you're seeing, right, there's a different point of view, right,
And so let's talk about your experience and your biggest message,
and then after I want to dive into the book.

(18:55):
You're a number one best selling author and talk a
lot about that book and a lot of those lessons.
So tell me about you know, twenty five. You said
you started your career. How did that happen? And just
walk us through them.

Speaker 4 (19:09):
Yeah, So I'd applied for a job and I didn't
know I had applied for I guess. You know, back
then the internet was very you know, still very brand new.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
And iPhones and all that stuff.

Speaker 4 (19:20):
Yeah, yeah, you know, dial up service, you know, just
trying to wait for something. And I go in for
this job and it's for a customer service representative. Because
for me, like even myself back then, I was diminishing
myself because I was like, I don't have this criteria.
I don't have an education, I don't have this, I
don't have that. And that's where a lot of that

(19:41):
imposter syndrome comes into play. And so you kind of
just you know, do what you think that you're going
to be good at, right based upon where you've you know,
had your skill set. And so it was a customer
service representative and it was for a logistics company that
was down in Tucson. And I went and interviewed, are like, oh,
you're great, you know, let's you know, let's hire you.

(20:03):
And it was like okay, cool, you know, and it
was one of the best jobs that I had because
you know, I got to read the newspaper and answer
the phone, you know, and so that was you know
a lot of what I did. And so I made
sure that my work ethic first and foremost right, A
good work ethic you have to establish at the very beginning.

(20:23):
And you know, I was very responsible with that. And
I knew that my actions impacted other people, and I
don't think that a lot of.

Speaker 3 (20:31):
Not in my opinion.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
You know, some people don't understand the gravity of your presence,
you know, just in the world and in the workplace,
and how much you impact people. And so I made
sure that if I wasn't going to be in I
was calling, you know and letting them know an ample
amount of time. If I was running late, I was calling.

(20:53):
And those are responsibilities that they found very you know, charismatic,
you know, and characteristic about me. And so my work
ethic of you know, answering the phone every time, being
able to problem solve just got me to the next level.
And so like every six months, you know, for six
months from there, they offered me, you know, the supervisor

(21:17):
role over you know, the routes of the drivers.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
And I was like, oh yeah, it's a new challenge.
I'll take that on.

Speaker 4 (21:23):
And so I had a mentor at that time. Her
name is Shovanni, and me and her are still in
collaboration to this day. We're actually you know, talking about
a business opportunity that's coming up. And she she helped
me kind of carve out as I started to progress
through the ladder in the corporate environment, because at that

(21:45):
time when I got hired, I was hourly and now
I was going to start pivoting over to a salary,
and you at that's such a young age.

Speaker 3 (21:54):
You don't know really what to do, or to ask
for or what you're worth.

Speaker 4 (21:59):
And so she was able to, you know, walk me
through skill sets and how to measure.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
Them and where you want to.

Speaker 4 (22:09):
Kind of just have a negotiation of where the high
end is, where the low end is. And then coming
into that medium and so being in the corporate environment
at that time, very fresh, very new, but I had
an amazing mentor that walked me, that walked me through it.
And so by the age of twenty seven, I was

(22:31):
the branch manager. So two years from that first date,
I became the branch manager. And I did that very well,
you know, applying my work ethic, applying my skill sets,
applying that perseverance, and just being you know, invested in
the business. And another you know, great point to bring
up is just because you didn't start that business doesn't

(22:53):
mean that you don't have a responsibility, you know, to
run that business as if it was your own and
maybe it wasn't your money that you know, and in
that business, you definitely have that responsibility, you know, to
ensure that you are looking at every single aspect of
it to have it running like a well oiled machine.
And they saw that and they recognized that, and that

(23:16):
just leaped me forward into where I started my where
I live now in Phoenix, Arizona. They offered me the
operations manager over the corporate and so I had you know,
a lot of satellite offices plus the Tucson branch plus
the Phoenix branch. And it was it was quite amazing,
you know, to go through that transis and in such
a short amount of time and to be where I

(23:38):
was at seventeen years old to where I was, you know,
perpetuated into the early corporate environment.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
Yeah, I like your tanacidin. I like the things you mentioned.
And he recomes up to you, you know, it comes
onto this, whether you're working for somebody else who you're
working for yourself.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
The fact that what you just.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
Mentioned I think is huge in terms of you have
to just show up, you know, you have to to
do you know. I always tell people, like, if you're
working for somebody else, go do your job as if
it was your own company. Do it as if it
was you know, your own business, because maybe one day
you will be your business. Right, maybe not in that company,
maybe not gonna buy that company E said, You're gonna
then venturing to becoming an entrepreneur and opening up your

(24:18):
own business. Now you have the skills and the skill
sets to be able to do that as if it.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
Was your own business. And and so uh.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yet again the people do not understand that and do
not see that, and I believe that that's critical for
your growth. The second thing that I think it kind
of goes and speaks volumes with what you're doing to
and you did back then, excuse me, is that not
only were you showing up for yourself, right, you wanted

(24:47):
more out of the job. You wanted more out of that.
You were doing your best. You were like, you know,
there's gotta be more, right, and you know you've you've
heard my story a couple of times, and then you know,
I talk about the idea of you know me also
coming back from coming from a corporate world and doing
a lot of that stuff. You know, you know, I
felt like, yeah, I'm here, I got it. Yet I
felt deep down that through my challenges growing up, there

(25:12):
has to be something more that I can do, not
only for myself, as you mentioned, for yourself too, is
being able to motivate and help other people. Because I
think that that's that was the place, uh and and
the path that I've shown myself to become right. And
so when you start looking at it from that perspective,
then we were now here seeing a number one bestselling
out there. Now you're left your your corporate job, you

(25:34):
jump in with both feet. There was that fear of man,
can I do this? I remember when you were still
thinking about.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
Him that you did it.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
And it goes back to the idea of a lot
of people don't do certain things because of the fear
of the unknown, or the fear of what buy if
I if I fail? What about if I make it?
Except The biggest challenge though, is that people do not
want to do it because they also do not see
the opportunity as a shiny object.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
Right.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
An opportunities sometimes does not show up as a shiny object,
as a diamond on the sky.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Right.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
Sometimes it looks ugly, it's disguise. But you got to
be able to peel it off to be able to
see the beauty of that.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
Right.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
So tell me about that story, because you obviously were
doing really good. You had a really good corporate job.
You kind of some people might say you made it
to the top, yet you decided to jump and take
a link.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
Yes, absolutely, you know, when we think about and a
lot of it has to do with ancestral and how
we grew up, you know, and we come from generations
we're holding on to a job of being safe and
you know, getting your benefits and having your four one

(26:49):
K and doing you know things that your generations before
you were thriving to do. You know, that was the
American dream was to be able, you know, to do
something you know like that, and to jump away and
sway away from you know, that safety net. It was
just you know, for some people like me and yourselves,

(27:11):
you know, it was just like, you know, don't quit
your job. This is safe for you, You've made it.
You want to just stay where you're at, you know,
and ideally, when you think about it, there is nothing
in life that is guaranteed at any point or moment
in time, and so being.

Speaker 3 (27:26):
Able to be fearless and what is next for you.
It was a great.

Speaker 4 (27:31):
Stepping stone for me because I learned a lot of
great just aspects of the business and leading people and
seeing them flourish, and for myself coming from the very
entry level of the business.

Speaker 3 (27:48):
And trust me that that was hot.

Speaker 4 (27:50):
That I was unloading trucks, I was loading trucks, I
was living up to fifty pounds. I was you know,
in the grits, you know, of all kinds of things,
and so to be able to continuously pivot and again,
I could have stayed in that entry level it was safe,
you know, but I knew I wanted more. I knew I,
you know, had come from already, you know, a corporate environment,
and it was like, okay, you know I can do this.

(28:12):
This isn't you know? I had better goals in mine.
I knew that I wanted to you know, up my education.
I knew this company was going to do that. If
I you know, just allocate a little bit more time
to them. And then I knew that I could become
a manager regardless you know of the the traditional you
know paper of going to college. Like I knew I
could do all those things. So it was like, okay,

(28:34):
stick it up, keep going, and I apply that not
just from being an employee, but you know, into my
next phase in life. And it was a tough decision
to do what I did, you know, jumping from being
you know in that safety net of having you know,
a weekly you know, income, having benefits, you know, the
four oh one K that I built up, the stocks

(28:57):
you know that were vesting. It was a lot of
scary what if what if this doesn't work? What if
you know, I fall and I have to fall in
order to be able to rise again.

Speaker 3 (29:11):
And I don't see this.

Speaker 4 (29:13):
I didn't see that opportunity as falling is how can
I fail forward?

Speaker 3 (29:18):
Right?

Speaker 4 (29:19):
And you're going to have those failures, you know, it's
fear is going to be there, Failure is imminent, but
it's not fatal, you know, and success is just right
there at that decision of are you going to stay
and you know, be complacent and conform and transform and
be the person that you know that is not your authentic,

(29:41):
authentic self, or are you going to jump out of
that and being able to make a larger impact on
the world and share your story and to be able
to help people overcome their fears and be the best
versions of yourself. And so it was an easy decision.
It was scary, but it was an easy decision, no
knowing where I wanted to traject my next impact. And

(30:04):
my next impact is here and now it's in this book.
It's with you, and it's with my upcoming you know,
opportunities that I have.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
Yeah, I love that, you know, I just want to
put things into perspective and and again, there's really no
right or wrong. You know, if people choose to work
for another company, that's great. The only advice I will
give people make sure you're doing something on the side.
Make sure you're doing something that that's not the only
be old type of solution for you. Because here's the

(30:33):
reality and and this is some of the things that
I started thinking about. And I'm sure you can relate
to this is well, it sounds secure because I'm getting
that secure paycheck. It really is not secure any day.
They can they can come and say, hey, here's your papers.
You're done for whatever reason, right, and so it's not
necessarily secure. And and and I said, you know what,
let me take that power away and let me control that. Obviously,

(30:56):
if I'm not performing, if I'm not making money, then
it's on me. Except I know myself and I know
that I'm gonna find a way to make something happen.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
Right.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
The only truth is that the average lifespan in the US,
you know, average between men and females, about seventy eight
years old. Okay, right now, if you want, if you're
working your nine to five job and that's all you have,
let's just put into the perspective you're you're able to
retire at the age of sixty seven. That means that
it's gonna leave you about eleven years for you to

(31:28):
enjoy life. Hopefully enjoy life and travel all over the
world and do all these different things that you want
to do and run with the grandkids. And let's be honest,
at the age of sixty seven, when you're working your
you're butt off. It's it's really hard for you to
keep up with that flow, with that lifestyle, you know,
And so you don't really get to enjoy life. And

(31:48):
so for me, I made that decision like instead of
waiting until I retire or I'm telling me my sixties
to go out and and and explore the world and
connect with people and do all these things. What by
if I do that in increments, maybe two days or
today's out of the week, you know, instead of the
seven days, and maybe I'm not doing three three four
day getaways, like start making and doing small vacations now

(32:11):
to be able to enjoy my life, because again, today
is the only day that's promised.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
Tomorrow is not.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
And so working at a nine to five job waiting
for me to retire, I may not get to enjoy
those eleven years if I get a chance to actually
enjoy them, right and so, and somebody was talking about
this recently, like two weeks ago, and it just kind
of hit me again.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
It is true. You know, you don't have so much
to look for after your retirement.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
So my advice for anybody is, I'm not knocking down
any nine to five I have an MBA. I work
in the industry for a long time. I do say, though,
make sure you're doing something else on the side, right,
Oh for sure.

Speaker 3 (32:48):
Yeah, that's great advice.

Speaker 4 (32:49):
And I wish I had known you a little, you know,
my before life, you know, and my employee you know mindset,
because that is exactly true. And what you say say
you know, it can change at any time. Just because
you'd been there for seven, eight years, ten years, doesn't
mean that business needs aren't going to evolve or the

(33:10):
you know, economy, you know, you's, all of these things
are dependent on those types of scenarios.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
And so when you talk about the.

Speaker 4 (33:19):
Nine to five job, you're really just trapped in this
you know, time off and do you know, do I
utilize my time to go take this trip or am
I going to need it, you know for emergencies, you know,
and you're just kind of just shuffling. You're not really
living you know, that life. And when you're in the
corporate environment, there's actually you do. If you want to

(33:40):
take a vacation, a one week or two week vacation,
the time that the money that the company gets most
out of you is the week before your vacation and
the week after your vacation because you're trying so hard
the week before in order to get everything in line
and making sure that you know, you have that coverage
and you know, everything's great, and you're just working harder
and harder and harder. And then after you come back

(34:02):
from vacation, you're working even more harder because you're trying
to catch up on everything that you missed when you
were on vacation. So is that really a vacation? No,
when you think about it and put it into his perspective,
and when I made that leap, I have traveled. Let's
see here, I've been to Hawaii, I went to Italy.
I've been to Ireland. I've been to Germany. And that's

(34:23):
just within oh goodness, yes, not even a year yet,
like ten months it's been and it's been amazing and
I love it. And you know, just again having you know,
another source of income that you know, if something were
to happen, that you have that fallback. And quite honestly,

(34:44):
when we take a look at where our far one
k is and where we're at in life at sixty
five years old, I highly encourage people to look at,
you know, do you have enough money for those eleven
years after because you'd be quite surprised on you know
what that looks like as far as you know your
daily life, that you have now count in inflation and

(35:07):
then what your life is going to look like there.
So sixty seven is a dream, you know, to be
able to retire. There are a lot of us, especially
when we're in that blue collar, you know environment, that
sixty seven is just not a reality and you're still
working beyond that. So that's great advice to have something,
you know along the side.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, No, that's that's awesome, man.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
And I was gonna just one good point to to
talk about it. You know, imagine how much you've done
in the last eight months in terms of traveling. It
was probably I'm not saying impossible, but it was very
difficult for you to do that while you're working your
ninety five a very demanding job, and the logistics industry
is very demanding because I come from that too, and
so I know how that works, right, So I find

(35:48):
myself the same way.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Right.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
So, let's talk about your book. Let's talk about the title.
Let's talk about the message, and tell us a bit
more about it.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (36:02):
So the title of my book is Girl If You
are a Man, a Nobs guide for women in leadership.
And the title it might come off as if this
is a you know, women empowerment and you know, we
are men haters and you know all that good stuff,
and that exactly is not it at all. The best

(36:24):
allies that I have are men, And again I bring
a masculine energy because of the way that I grew
up and the way that I you know, kind of
just have a perspective on life. And so that the
title of the book came from a quote that I
was having a conversation with what the world knows as
human resources and they're they call themselves something different within

(36:47):
the organization, uh that I was working for.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
And so to start that.

Speaker 4 (36:55):
Out, she had called me in and it was a
female then you know that had called me in, and
you know, she wanted to.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
Proceed to coach me, you know, about something.

Speaker 4 (37:06):
And she started out the conversation with very friendly and
very humanized of like, you know, like we're friends, you know,
just like girl, you know, if you were a man,
we wouldn't be having this conversation. So already profacing that
and it was like, okay, and we're acknowledging that what
you just said, We're still now going to continue with

(37:28):
the rest of the conversation. Okay, Wow, that was that
was mind blowing to know that there was already a
double standard right that she had just put forth in
front of me, and she was still continuing on with
the conversation. And it was very disheartening because as a woman,

(37:51):
you know, you're for me to classify myself.

Speaker 3 (37:54):
As a woman.

Speaker 4 (37:55):
I'm a human being, you know, and that's you know,
how I lived my life, and that's how I teach
my sons to live, you know, life. We have you know, differences,
and you know, our physical appearances and all that good stuff,
but we all have a commonality in which is to
be the best versions of ourselves and you know, to
bring and uplift people along the way.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
And sometimes people don't view you in that way.

Speaker 4 (38:19):
And if they don't like what you want to hear
what you're saying, they don't want to hear it. Then
it's the next level of how can I make this
person look bad? And how can I you know, give
a perception that this person is you know, not following
the right thing, but they're actually you know, just instilling

(38:39):
some type of fear or intimidation or disrespect. And so
when I had that conversation with her, you know, she
wanted to coach me on my tone about you know,
some conversations that she was not present for, and it
was just the conversation and you can read it in
my book of how it went. It was, you know,

(38:59):
just why and how and what for? You know, like
I didn't do those things. And so you thank goodness
early in my career of having my female mentor, she
did let me know that, you know, as you climb
up in the clumbret ladder, you are going to see
a lot more you know, a lot less women and

(39:20):
a lot more males, which is fine, not intimidated by
any means. And she let me know that, you know,
the conversations that we craft are taken differently depending on
who you're talking to, and it comes off as being abrasive,
and it comes off as being you know, tactical in
you know, demeaning ways. She goes, So make sure that

(39:42):
you always have somebody in the room when you're having
hard conversations because it will come off, you know, depending
on who you're talking to. They're going to be receptive
and they're multiple talent, or they're going to be deflective
and they want to take you down. And you see
a lot of those people and I'm sure you saw
it in your corporate environment as well. Yeah, so when

(40:05):
we had that conversation, you know, I kind of let
her know that there's another person that was present, and
so I would expect that I get fair treatment as
well as being an employee of the company, that she
do her due diligence, and you know, just kind of
go a little bit further than just the conversation, the
one sided conversation that she had. And so from there,

(40:27):
it was I knew what I was up against coming
into that organization, this specific one, because I had been
through different organizations within that company, but this one right here,
this one was really where you saw a lot of
cultural conflict and how.

Speaker 3 (40:45):
Women were not viewed as being.

Speaker 4 (40:49):
Respectable in a leadership role. And that was a lot
of the challenges that I faced in there. And I'm
a persevere you know. I mean it's like, okay, well,
if that is how you going to perceive me, let's
have a conversation. Then you know, you can get to
know me better, and you know, we can you know,
come to a deeper understanding of what my goals are,
what your goals are, and we're going to you.

Speaker 3 (41:10):
Know, keep the course of the path.

Speaker 4 (41:12):
But there's just some people that you're just never going
to convince, you know, and so you don't want that
to diminish who you are. And I didn't want that
conversation with the you know, with that female to diminish
who I was. I wanted to be able to persevere
through it and to bring other women that were around me,
because you have a lot of eyes on you when
you're a leader, and you know, it's really you're just

(41:37):
being It's like you're in an observation a fish bowl,
you know, and you're looking through and you're observing the
fish on what actions are going to take, where they're
going to swim next, what they're going to do. Are
they going to eat the food or they not going
to eat the food. So you're really in this fish
pool where people are observing you and knowing how to
keep your mannerism and your leadership style it's very very

(41:59):
important and exemplifying and you know, just not having to
manage perceptions in what that looks like. Come up and
show us your authentic self. And that's the messaging of
my book is to be able to show up every
day and own your power and be your authentic self
and don't don't drink.

Speaker 3 (42:19):
Don't drink for anybody.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
Yeah, yeah, And you know it's I actually like that
because I have a message here, your message to the people, right,
and I like what you say. You said you don't
need to water yourself down to lead. The traits people
told you you were too much are likely the exact

(42:41):
traits that will set you apart and set you free
when you start managing perceptions, start.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
Owning your own power. You don't just lead, you transform
the system. Right.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
And so it's kind of going back to that, but
further expand on that message because I think it's very
powerful in terms of what you're trying to tell people, right.

Speaker 3 (43:03):
Yes, yeah, exactly so.

Speaker 4 (43:07):
In the corporate environment and maybe in you know, some environments,
women are perceived as being meek and soft.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
And there are a lot of corporations out there that
have you know, women.

Speaker 4 (43:18):
Leadership, you know type programs, and I attended one of them,
and I ultimately didn't identify with it because I don't apologize,
you know, for being my authentic self, and I show
up every day as a girl, and their messaging is
fight like a girl. While when you apply those things,
they're not always receptive you know, of fighting, you know,

(43:42):
in that manner, and it's not fighting like a girl.
It's if you know something is wrong, do the right
thing and fight, you know, and stand up, you know,
for the for your morals and your ethics, your morals
and your ethics, and still while maintaining a morale. And
the message for anybody who's out there who's currently facing

(44:04):
that type of maybe somebody's tell you that you should
probably smile more, you know, or you should probably soften
your tone, or maybe you shouldn't be so sharp. Those
are not things that are going to encourage you. As
a matter of fact. What they're going to do is
they're going to make you think twice about the person
that you have born yourself to be and grew yourself

(44:27):
through all those challenges in life that got you to
where you're at right now. And you're going to question
on whether you know, you should actually just show up
the next day, or you should just quit, or you
should just give up altogether. And you don't want to
do that. You want to you know, be able to
filter out, you know, Okay, what kind of this messaging
is it valid?

Speaker 3 (44:46):
You know?

Speaker 4 (44:46):
And if it is valid, Okay, let me change, let
me pivot, you know, let me you know, just kind
of just you know, refine that definitely, don't shrink and
don't diminish and show up as somebody else you know
that nobody recognizes, because at the end of the day,
you have a home.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
To go to, and you know, you have to show up.

Speaker 4 (45:05):
For those people and the authentic self that you showed
up for when you woke up that day at the
end of the day, and the person that's in the
mirror that you're seeing yourself as if you don't recognize
that person because you're constantly trying to shrink to the
system of trying to be somebody that you're not, you
should really start thinking about, you know, who you're surrounding
yourself with and change. If you can't change the people

(45:29):
around you, then change the people around you.

Speaker 2 (45:32):
Yeah. Wow, that's that's that's very deep.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
And let me ask you this though, what about people
are like, man, I'm afraid to you know, they want
me to do this right and and and you know,
assuming that you're showing up for yourself ethically, morally, you're
doing the right things, and yet the system or whatever
they're trying you to be somebody different or change, and
they're like, if I don't make this change, they're afraid

(45:56):
to to you that speak up and say well, hey,
this isn't align with my my values for my ethics
because of people like that, right, they're probably afraid of
if I do that, I'm not my authentic self.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
And if I don't do that, I might lose my job.
What am I going to do?

Speaker 1 (46:10):
You know?

Speaker 2 (46:10):
And all these things are struggling. So what's your advice
on that?

Speaker 4 (46:14):
My advice is to seek out support, you know, and
one you got to pay attention to your mental health.
So don't you know, compromise that by any means. You
want to seek out support, You want sponsors, you want mentorship,
you know, And I am a leadership coach and I
would love to help you just kind of just figure
out where your starting point is right now, and you

(46:36):
know where we can you know, craft and pivot and
you know, get you to First we need to figure
out on are these the people that you really want
to surround yourself with?

Speaker 3 (46:47):
And if the answer is yes, then let me mentor.

Speaker 4 (46:50):
You and help you deliver results that go beyond that perception,
you know, because you know at the end of the day,
a company wants to be able to flourish and uphold
policy and to be able to make a profit at
the end of the day. And by you being able
to deliver your results and articulate that, you know, that's

(47:12):
something that I'm really, really, really good at. And so
we're going to do one of two things. If one
you decide that yes, you do want to stay there,
then we're going to look at everything that you do
and we're going to metricize that and quantify it, and
we're going to build up your promotion document. And if
you have decided the second thing that maybe these aren't
the people that you want to surround yourself with, Okay, well,

(47:35):
then let's start crafting your story so that you have
an amazing resume to move on to the next, you
know level in your life.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
Yeah, at the end of the day, I love that
you can help and you know, people in both areas.
I want to go back to what you just mentioned though,
and and I think that's so critical because I see
it working in the corporate, working with multiple different worldwide
companies is do not do not, do not, do not
jeopardize your mental health because at the end of the day.

(48:03):
That's the biggest thing, right, So if you decide to
stay there, just make sure that you're not jeopardizing that
because that is huge. I've seen people, you know, get
into addictions, getting overweight, losing weight. I mean, there's so
many things health issues can come to that and you're
just not satisfied and then you go back to the
house when you take it off on your family and

(48:24):
then you're losing out on that. So I think that's
the biggest thing, you know, whether you decide to stay
or you're like ready to make that jump and go
someplace else or even become an entrepreneur.

Speaker 2 (48:33):
I know Felicia can help you with that.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Right at the end of the day, just make sure
you're taking care of that mental health that.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
You talked about.

Speaker 1 (48:40):
So you have a book, you have a lot of
great things coming in the next couple of months. You're
helping people. How can people connect with you? Find you
get your book all that stuff.

Speaker 4 (48:51):
Yeah, so you can find my book on Amazon, girl,
if you're a man by my name Felicia re name
as an author, or you can find me.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
I have a website.

Speaker 4 (49:03):
It's Barriers the number two brilliance dot Com. You can
also find that information in my book as well. I'm
on social media. I'm on Facebook, I'm on Instagram, and
I'm also on TikTok. That's a new explorosion for me
and so or you can reach out to me on
email at Hello at Barriers to Brilliance dot.

Speaker 3 (49:22):
Com as well.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
Awesome, Well, I love that, Felicia.

Speaker 1 (49:25):
You've given us a lot of great insight, a lout
great golden nuggets, a lot of wisdom. Before I let
you go, is there anything else you want to share
to the audience?

Speaker 3 (49:36):
You are a.

Speaker 4 (49:37):
Power, powerful, a positive force to be reckoned with. Own
that power and keep going forward and make those decisions
and take the next to leap because you just don't
know the other version, the best version of yourself that's
waiting on.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
The other side.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
I love it. I love that.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
Well, thank you again for being here. Really appreciate your
your precess and your message.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
So thank you for being here, Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
Awesome And for the rest of you, guys, do me affair.
Please make sure that you shared this message because definitely
somebody needs to hear it. And I will see you
guys at the next episode of You Can Overcome Anything
podcast show.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
Hi.

Speaker 5 (50:18):
I'm Caesar Espino, real estate investor, business coach and consultant
and author of the book You Can Overcome Anything Even
when the World says No. My number is four two
four five zero one six zero four to six. In
my book, I talk about making the necessary changes to
shift your mind for prosperity and certainty. Pick up your
copy at Amazon. I also love helping families with their
real estate and can purchase your house fast and all cash.

(50:41):
Follow me on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn. My number is
four two four five zero one six zero four six.

Speaker 1 (50:48):
Thank you for having me today. I am so glad
you've tuned into this podcast. You can find me at
your favorite podcast platform where you can like, subscribe, comment
and share, and to learn more about myself my services.
You can find me at www dot Caesararspino dot com,
or you can also find me at your social media.

(51:09):
Thanks for joining me and I am looking forward to
having you at the next episode. And No, you truly
can overcome Anything.

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You Can Overcome Anything: Ep 307 - When Excellence Is the Threat – Felisha Renee

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}You Can Overcome Anything: Ep 307 - When Excellence Is the Threat – Felisha Renee