March 20, 2025 • 56 mins
Welcome to “Unveiled” Where all conversations are safe, revealing and uncuffed.
Tonight’s show is partnered with – Chris’s Dishes, Jenn Chavez Photography & sponsored by WSBI, LLC – Your Resource For Success Podcast.
Here are your Hosts: Carmine and Kimberly Pesce and Chris and Jenn Chavez
What are we revealing tonight! Dealing with "seasonal depression." How did this affect you and what helped you come out of it?
To be a guest on the show reach out to kimberlywsbillc@gmail.com
Want more of Unveiled Podcast Shows Monetary donations to support the podcast are now accepted on 👉cash app $kmclemore, PayPal, GoodPods “tip jar”or go to the website - www.wsbillc.com
Again, we would like to thank you all for listening to us tonight. Will be back next month on a Thursday evening @ 7 pm; Be sure to follow us on iHeartRadio, Spreaker, YouTube or wherever you listen to your podcast ~ until then enjoy the rest of your evening.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/your-resource-for-success-podcast--2094412/support.
Tonight’s show is partnered with – Chris’s Dishes, Jenn Chavez Photography & sponsored by WSBI, LLC – Your Resource For Success Podcast.
Here are your Hosts: Carmine and Kimberly Pesce and Chris and Jenn Chavez
What are we revealing tonight! Dealing with "seasonal depression." How did this affect you and what helped you come out of it?
To be a guest on the show reach out to kimberlywsbillc@gmail.com
Want more of Unveiled Podcast Shows Monetary donations to support the podcast are now accepted on 👉cash app $kmclemore, PayPal, GoodPods “tip jar”or go to the website - www.wsbillc.com
Again, we would like to thank you all for listening to us tonight. Will be back next month on a Thursday evening @ 7 pm; Be sure to follow us on iHeartRadio, Spreaker, YouTube or wherever you listen to your podcast ~ until then enjoy the rest of your evening.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/your-resource-for-success-podcast--2094412/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good evening, Welcome to Unveiled.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
We're all conversations are safe, revealing and uncuffed. Tonight's show
is partnered with Chris's Dishes, Jen Chavaz Photography and sponsored
by w s b I LLC, your resource for success podcast.
Here are your hosts, Chris and Gen Chavez. Hey, Chris,
Ka and Carmin and Kimberly Peshi.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
What's up guy?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Hello? Hello?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
What are we revealing tonight? So March is upon us.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I hope everybody enjoyed their holiday and everybody I know
becomes irish. So tonight we're going to talk about something
in the season of seasonal depression. How did this affect
you and what helped you come out of it? You know,
we're in the end.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Of the month.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
They say seasons on all depression lasts through the end
of February, so people are really now welcoming spring, more sunlight.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
I got a lot of light.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
What did you do? I got a lot of.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Sunlight during during this time when when I was out
in the deer stand, when I was not walking around.
So I'm only depressed because it's all over.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
You always gotta have one, I always have.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
One's your first time here?
Speaker 5 (01:25):
I am the hunter guy and fisherman.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
So just so y'all know, also known as the comical relief.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
So I don't know about any of you how you
felt about the winter seasons or if you ever suffer
from seasonal depression. I know I'm not a fan of
the blazing dark myself, but that's just me.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (01:45):
As I say, seasonal depression is between the months of
December through February. And I guess I never really thought
about this seasonal depression, but yeah, I can agree that
I don't.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I never liked the darkness starting at four thirty.
Speaker 6 (01:59):
It's like, what you know, we get up in the
morning and it's dark when we got to work, we
leave work and it's dark, right, And my thing is
I just want to hear him get home before it
gets dark.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Right, exactly.
Speaker 7 (02:10):
And that is a contributor to to to the depression.
Whether you call it, you call it, it is a
sort of depression because it's it's gloomy. It's doomy, the
weather and all that other stuff. Plus if you over
eight during the holidays, you I.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Mean, yeah, you've already got the symptoms. Right. You need
to more on fat.
Speaker 7 (02:32):
So yeah, but you know sometimes that carries that seasonal
depression carries way past the months of in my mind,
you know, just the typical order, which is, you know,
December through February.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Or to March.
Speaker 7 (02:46):
But it's it's it seems like in today's society, it's
it's a continual depression that affects us, not only as
the climate changes, as the.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
The government changes.
Speaker 7 (02:59):
Is it's it's constant now, so it's it's worse at
those times, but it's it can happen in the spring, summer,
or or fall.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Absolutely, it's not just the winter season.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Some people do receive or have seasonal depression in the
warmer months.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I know, you hate the summer.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
No, it's not that I love being outside.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
That's that's why I like when the first seasonal depression
during December, January, February, It's like it doesn't really affect
me because I'm outside during those.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
Times doing hunting things.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
But when it comes to like, hey it's ninety five
thousand degrees outside, Oh.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
My god, we don't live in the desert with.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
The humid Well, sometimes Ford can't feel like that. Especially
this past summer it was hot, and that's just like
I got it. It just steps outside just to get
fresh air and it's hot.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
It's like the helle.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
When we say about the seasonal depression.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I personally I hate cold weather because I'm always cold
to begin with autoimmune disease, So I don't like being outside,
which means I'm inside more often than not, and I'm
not getting that natural sunlight and I'm not getting fresh
air as much as if it's spring or summertime. So
for me, you know, coming out of the bitter cold
(04:20):
and into now the warmer months, you know, a couple
of days nicer, even just hitting fifty sixty degrees, it
just feels so good on the body, tilting your head up,
letting the sun just bathe you.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I really do think it's a mood booster for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (04:34):
I think like when Carman was talking about how seasonal depression,
to me, it's almost like all year. And I think
of it that way because we always look at how well,
you know, like you said, the wintertime is kind of blah,
and then you all send you're into the spring and
summer and people are wine and crying because either it's
(04:56):
too hot or well, oh my gosh, I can't get
into this baiting suit, or I'm not dark and now
I need to get tanned, or there's always something to
whine about.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Right, There's always something that people are depressed.
Speaker 6 (05:07):
About throughout the year, and it's because we've been sett
into this this conform this conform conforming attitude about what
we're told from the time that we're brought into this
world about you know, you have to do this, you
gotta do that. You know, this is the time of
season you're preparing for. Is it really does it really matter?
(05:28):
I think this is a question we need do we
have to ask ourselves what? But it's a personal thing
I think is what helps ourselves get through whatever it
is that we're going through. But we're just so used
to having to deal with the same things all year round, right,
So we know from December in January February, there's a
(05:49):
lot of holidays, right, so people are happy about the
holidays and then to get depressed because the holidays are over,
you know.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
I look at it also the other way, where there
are a lot of people who get depressed around the holiday,
right because they have they feel that they're supposed to
be a family, but maybe they don't have family nearby,
or they don't have family, or there is this financial
expectation of Okay, so whether it's one night of Christmas
(06:19):
or eight nights of Hanaka, or in our family we
celebrate both.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Yes, I'm broken because also it's our birthday. So my
seasonal depression is.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Don't worry. I got you. There's stands exactly that is
perfectly happening.
Speaker 7 (06:42):
So we all have different ways to cope with it, right,
whether we know we are depressed or not right, right, but.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
It still it still goes back to conforming. Right.
Speaker 6 (06:53):
It's it's the societal thing. It's what we've been raised,
It's what we've been told. This is the time of
year where you go and you go broke. Well yeah,
but I love.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
The question you posed about what is it that we
have to do? What are the things that have to
be done?
Speaker 1 (07:09):
So, you know, for Chris and myself, for us comes springtime. Well, okay,
let me take a pause.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I'm a firm believer, and I've said it before and
I will always say it. I'm a firm believer in
therapy talk therapy specifically, and I believe it does help
with with one forget combating what's going on. But identifying
that there's actually something to talk about very important. So
whatever season you want to tick, and let's just generalize it,
(07:39):
there's always something that's going to be weighing on you.
So for us, you know, getting our seeds in the ground,
you know, February and March is important because we have
an expectation that we've placed on ourselves that we are
going to have fruits and vegetables and crops ready to
go that we can start pulling them out and being
prepared for whatever. And I say being prepared as in
(08:02):
like he goes hunting in the winter. I hate cooking.
I want to go downstairs, grab a jar of food,
shove it in a pot, not shove port in a pot,
and I'm good. I've got dinner ready and waiting. I
need to make some rice in my insta pot.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Cool. So there are certain stressors that we put on ourselves.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
But at the same time, and I know you're gonna
cringe when I say this, there is nothing more therapeutic
to me than being out in the garden with my
hands in the dirt and I'm like getting in it,
or I'll have my earbuds in and I'm trimming away
to a tomato plant.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
And I know that sounds really kind of dorky, but uh.
Speaker 6 (08:42):
No, See I did that as a kid, so never
I said, I bowed. I would never do that as
an adult, Okay, because we had garden mam and.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Us and I.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Never again, Mama, I'm with you. Just call me.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
I'll come out because it is so pauseful to me.
You know, I don't have to talk to him. Which
that's another thing with need to talk to people. How
often are you talking to people during the holidays all
the time.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
So don't do that during December to February.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Don't talk to you my Christmas and Hanuka presents? When
are you talking about it?
Speaker 7 (09:24):
I think what we're going to find is that uh,
as we for talk, will find what what distresses us,
uh and what we find and we'll look at each
other and say, I'm never going to do that, just
like you just said, no way am I going to
attend to a garden, right.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
But there are things that traditionally are out there and
say like life therapy, right.
Speaker 7 (09:48):
Because so I'm curious as anybody at this forum here
have has used you know, a light, I.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Will tell you I have not, but I'm so interested
in red light therapy.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
I I've been doing a ridiculous amount of research on it,
just because it is supposed to be so good for
you at a cellular level, to help you.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
And they have little ones, so you just hold it
up to your face for like ten fifteen minutes. They've
got the.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Big sauna looking tight. So you walk in, you hang
out for a while. That would be kind of cool,
like a therapy.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Yeah, it's yeah.
Speaker 7 (10:22):
So you either buy a light box or you go
to a place that has you know, light violet light
that you sit in the chamber and you do that
for a very short period of time.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Work for me.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
No, no, no, I'm all about being in the darkness.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Like a mushroom. Just like a mushroom.
Speaker 7 (10:40):
But seriously, I mean I I first of all, I
read about that and they say what the right And
then I say, maybe maybe let me enlighten myself and.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Go to get it. I'm not gonna buy a one
while we'll go.
Speaker 7 (10:55):
We'll go to a place and we'll go try it
once and it will say, oh I felt better, and
maybe go a second time. Says you know, it's really true.
It's not like going to a massage. I feel great,
but my body aches because I got beat up. It's
it's light. What couldn't do other than help you? What
did Chris do? Just as we got ready for one
(11:17):
of the podcasts, right, it's like.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Can we open the blinds? Light? Light has I believe
has therapeutic valves?
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Oh there, it's it's proven. Like we were just listening
to podcasts all the way over here and they're talking
about like the biggest things you need to do is
like get up, get out and get your vitamin D
every day.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
That's my thing.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
I gotta get out, I gotta get me. I can
stay at home. I don't care if I have light.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
I don't. I just want to really just wants to relax.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
It's just me and and I don't know.
Speaker 6 (11:51):
It's just one of those things that I think because
I've always been on that rat race, always in rush,
always got to be out, always got to do something.
Felt like I always one hundred miles per hour.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
I'm not like go do something like just go outside
for fifteen minutes to take a walk. I don't even
want to trying to get someone else to do here.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
I don't want to even go.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
I don't even want to go out and walk.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
I don't have a problem with like sitting outside and
just enjoying sitting still. But I don't want to feel
like I have to go out and walk to get
that that moment of you know, therapy. But if you
want me to sit out there on the porch and enjoy,
you know, a glass of water or just relax, I
have no problem with doing that. But for me, just
(12:32):
having that moment of silence is good. Or just laying
across the bed in the darkness, I'm good.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
I just need to have that that.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Decompression or putting on music relaxes me more than anything. Really, Absolutely,
he knows I can have music on twenty four hours
a day even when I'm working.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I have to have that noise in the in the
background that helps me. Even if I'm not actually listening to.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
It's interesting, I'd get lost.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I actually worked better. I can't even think straight. Wow,
I think my brain is just too noisy. And I'm
serious when I say that.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I have so many thoughts that occur at any given
point in time, and the music I get distracted. When
I was in school and studying as an adult, I
thought it was just because I was getting older, I
could not stand it. If you had the TV on
and I.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Could hear it, I would lose my mind. I'd have
to close the door with noise canceling headphones on just
so I didn't hear anything.
Speaker 7 (13:36):
So that's that's true the same way I can't have
certain distractions.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Music, however, is a little different.
Speaker 7 (13:42):
But I find it hard to concentrate, you know, having
music on while I'm trying to write something. Right, I agree,
if I'm I'm there just vacuuming or washing something or
doing something inane where it's not distracting, the music is
good therapy. If I'm trying to telework and there's something
(14:04):
in the background.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
There's that. And that's probably.
Speaker 7 (14:08):
Why I like to get out, because you know, even
working in the office or working you need I find
it like walking away and take a walk somewhere outside
to just decompress and then come back.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
To it right here. If you're in the house all day,
you don't want to be in you know you need it.
You need.
Speaker 7 (14:32):
There's no drive home, right, there's there's just you go
from the desk to the kitchen, right and it's like, okay.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
When you get that dog, you all are gonna be
out quite a bit. No, he'll be out because his dog.
I'm good. You know he'll be retired. I won't be
This is gonna be a different I like the idea.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I like the idea of things that we all individually
do to cope with things or for decompressing, for stress.
Because I'll pick on my husband because it's easy. So
what is the number one thing you enjoy doing that
brings your levels down when you get stressed?
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Hunting, fishing, being outside?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Right, so that's your thing, Like even if he's having
a bad day, like he'll just.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Go outside, go walk the dog dogs. What about you?
What is something that you enjoy doing when you know,
like you need to bring your heart level down?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Oh, my heart level down. I want to say, take
a nap.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Really, that's amazing. I love that. I love it because
sleep is underrated.
Speaker 7 (15:47):
Yeah, so I have the uncanny ability to fall asleep.
I could just leave that chair and go there and
not out for.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Fifteen minutes, no matter what time of day, no matter.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
What time of day.
Speaker 7 (16:04):
And will you sleep at night usually absolutely absolutely? Just
like you get relaxed, you get into a relaxed position
or place and I can just shut down that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
I find very very odd when I tell people that you.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Are a rarity for sure. I don't think I know
anyone else that can. You can fall asleep, but you
have to be exhausted to fall asleep.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Well, I mean, there have been times when I've gone
out on my own, like during deer season and lunchtime,
I've gotten out of the truck and just laid down
next tree and power napped. But I can't do that
at home.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
Nope, what about you?
Speaker 7 (16:48):
I'm just looking like shit. I could do that while driving,
That's how good I am.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (16:54):
Well, for me, I can do a power nap every
now and then. It can't be regular. It's not stuff
I do regularly. But doing my workouts. I love my
zoomba and if I get chance, I'll get out there
and look my weights.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
That's that for me.
Speaker 6 (17:09):
I enjoy but definitely getting into the zoom but that
I gotta get that anxiety out.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
And then and have my music rolling in my.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
In my head.
Speaker 6 (17:17):
That that's something that really helps me out. And he
knows that, like, look, I gotta get in two three times.
Let me let me go get my work out in,
because he's not he doesn't like exercise.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
He doesn't like to get out there and do some
of those things.
Speaker 6 (17:28):
So that's where we have that's where we separate our differences.
He'll go sit down and take his little nap and
he'll go I work out.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
See, I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I I find working out definitely helps with my stress.
And I realized it even more after my injury when
I was healing in my neck and everything else. And
the first day of the doctor is like, okay, you
can go back to the gym, and I was like,
I'm gone, I'm going.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Let's see how this is going to shake out.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
And it wasn't until after the workout where I'm like, okay,
like I really needed that. And you know, we do
CrossFit and we do Olympic lifting, and just grabbing that
piece of iron, this barbell in my hand and I'm like,
all right, I can now take everything that's been pissing
me off for the last however long and transfer into
(18:18):
this is definitely for sure one way and the other
thing that I find that I need to have my
hands busy when I get fidgeting, when I get really
anxious knitting.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Oh wow.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I don't know why we could be watching TV and
I'll sit here knitting and.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
Get done like an hour.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah, it's it's the craziest thing that because I will
lose track of what we're doing. And I knew I
was stressed when I started this, or something was on
my mind bothering me.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
And it's just a way to kind of take whatever
it is that's going on and move it elsewhere. And
we all have things right right, they're going through our head,
you know.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Uh, that long ago, Christ and I put away the
phones at night and we were telling you about this.
And here I am laying in bed. He's reading his
book and I didn't have a book with me, And
all of a sudden, I was like, all right, I'm
gonna try deep breathing.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Okay one, two, three, four? Oh, Ship, there are four
different things that I need to clean tomorrow tomorrow. What
else do I need to do?
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I'm gonna see Kim tomorrow. Oh, Kim and Carmine. What
should I mean?
Speaker 4 (19:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I got to finish the blak and I promise you.
I went into the spiral in my brain and I
looked at him like he's still not done reading crap?
Okay one two?
Speaker 4 (19:36):
I will say though, like when I when I crawled
into bed, I was like, where's your book? She was like,
all my books are have like recipes for tinker cheers,
and I was like, no, they don't. Get go get
a book, Like I know there's a book you read
yet there is a.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Book, right, yeah?
Speaker 6 (19:52):
And for me, like if I had not working out,
I'll start writing things in my phone or there, I
start writing, period, but then that gets bad because if
I start writing, then it becomes a book.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I mean.
Speaker 8 (20:07):
So, so you're talking about like journaling, right, no, actually
actually writing, okay, because there are there are things that
people do for depression, you know, in the journal, right,
and I find it.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
I find that there is some value in that.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Have you have you journal?
Speaker 3 (20:27):
I haven't journaled in a long time.
Speaker 7 (20:29):
It becomes a book, it becomes but it becomes in
my mind, it becomes what I'm really depressed about, or
objectionable about, or having a difficult time dealing with. So
it does have therapeutic value. Journal it's just but but
but I didn't like it, right because here I am
(20:50):
writing three or four pages and it's not meant It
was never meant to do that.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
It's meant to.
Speaker 7 (20:55):
You know, get you understanding what what it is that's
bothering you. It's more of it's more of like a
therapy session, and when there's no one there other than.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Yourself, so you're the therapist on yourself.
Speaker 7 (21:10):
A lot of people love journaling and they say that
it's great them through it, and and and it's great
it It helps me somewhat, but it doesn't help me
to the fact where I'd rather power nap, you know,
disengage my mind from what's what's what's depressing me, and
and I could deal with it better that way than journaling,
(21:30):
because then I look back at some of my journals,
I just threw them away.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
It says, Wow, what a bitch I was? Did I.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Tried journaling? I did.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
A dear friend of mine years ago gave me a
journal and it's beautiful, and I started journaling in it,
and all my emotions and my feelings like liability. I
don't need this ship like I don't want somebody to
picking this up. What if I die and somebody comes
through my house and they start reading, Oh look she
had on two day September sixteenth, she had.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
A bad day, sucker. I just don't want it right,
So I other books that I have.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I start writing recipes to things like Okay, I want
lotion or I want.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
To make I don't know, dish soap, which you know.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
These are just things that I find other use of it.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
But I can appreciate somebody who can journal meditation. Do
you meditate? I don't know. I don't really. I don't
think I really meditate.
Speaker 6 (22:29):
I think and if I am meditating, I don't even
know I'm really meditating.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (22:33):
I think that uh a lot of times that I'll
sit there and think, and I think my meditation is
more prayer. I'm not even realizing that I'm actually doing it.
I'm telling them one day then that I take my
meditating and prayers when I'm sitting on the toilet.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
That's all that's like. And this is my quiet time.
Speaker 6 (22:53):
I'm sitting there and I can, I mean, go to
the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
That is not what I'm praying about.
Speaker 6 (23:06):
It's it's just the opportunity to have that moment of darkness, quietness,
there's nothing else going on in my head.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
It's my opportunity to be thankful. But it's awesome. Why
are you in the dark in the dark.
Speaker 6 (23:19):
Yeah, do you really, I don't like knights on it.
He'll tell you, I'm not a light person. He turned
off the turns that damn light.
Speaker 7 (23:26):
On the early the early, the early months or freaking hell.
She's got the freaking hell because places. It's great for
when you're walking a path, but when you wake up
to go to the bathroom night and you get yelled
at for turning the freaking light on because I run
(23:47):
into the freaking bureau.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
That's like, how am I going to see? Oh wait
a minute, hold on, there's this little damp little light,
just like like a torch light.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
If you're hearing a comeback, he's a little depression.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Don't deal with lights on. Don't go to your.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Cairv his house.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
I keep like I have beautiful lights, you know, those
little plugging the stay on all the times.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
You know, it's not like it's dark dark in the house.
Speaker 6 (24:14):
But he's the type of person that will turn light
on the.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
I know wherever, Like even in the middle of the night,
you just turn on the lights.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
You you got to go to Ladrina or not.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
He was that every light all down light.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
Okay, we have like a little blue like night light
that comes off I got.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
There's night lights in every room in this house, every
room all over there.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
So what you're saying is is like, if there was
ever you.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Know, and in the bathroom there's a night like that.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Took out the lighting in the world, you'd be happy, right,
excuse me, if there was an E M P that
took out the lighting in the world, you would be happy.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Nobody has to.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Turn on the lights out I figure it out.
Speaker 7 (24:59):
I would tell you this, if I had to do
my business in the dark, I will fall asleep on
that not bottom line, if I don't have a.
Speaker 6 (25:08):
Light, right, there's a switch, so you you know there's
a light.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
I know, and I just don't need it. I need
to be making fun of.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Me to turn it on. The light going to the bathroom.
Speaker 7 (25:18):
Somebody thinks that's a bad thing.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
It's not a bad thing. And if anybody wants to
comment on.
Speaker 7 (25:26):
This podcast, yes I ship light on or ship without
the light on, please let me know.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
I go with the lights on. I need to know
what's going on. I need visual conte because.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
The only time that night in the boy Scouts.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Okay, let me rainy in. Okay, it's not about going
to the bathroom.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Seasonal depression. I mean, like the body is cold. It's
really the toilets, like the toilet bowls cold when you
sit down on it.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
And that's depressing.
Speaker 7 (26:00):
All right, we'll get back, We'll get that.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Let's figure out asked the questions I needed to know.
She said in the dark.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I was like, she went there. I just looked at.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Chris, you look at me. I'm like in the dark anyway.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
So about the depressional depression regardless of season, do you
find yourself stressing over certain things during certain times a
year more than others, Carmen.
Speaker 7 (26:28):
I think I stress equally over the twelve months.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
I don't find myself more. Yeah, I don't find myself more.
Speaker 7 (26:38):
Depressed, if you want to call it depressed or anxious
or whatever you want to call it between the months
of seasonal depression. I think it's it's you know, throughout
the year, I distributed what depression is.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Around to go around. And I think that therapists will
will will attest to that.
Speaker 9 (26:56):
Because the therapist wants to come here right now, CARMI
could keep me afloat because he's a twelve month depressor
as opposed to Kimberly.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Here's a three month depressor. I'm gonna go with the
one that brings me revenue every month.
Speaker 7 (27:14):
So no, I I I can't say that one season.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Uh gets me? Gets me? Man? I mean the triggers.
You know, Oh, it's dark out all time. That's that
that that.
Speaker 7 (27:28):
Surfaces during this time frame in the summer, it's like
light all the time. It's like, oh, shoot, it's five
o'clock and it's light out, and it's now nine o'clock
and the lights are just starting to get I go
back to the days when I was, you know, young,
It's like, you know, soon as the street lights came on,
that's when you came home, so you were out.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah, things, it has to be on the go all
the time when it's when it's so.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
Yeah that I can't do that.
Speaker 7 (27:56):
You know, as I'm getting older, I don't like to
drive at night and stuff like that. And this besides,
there's a lot of assholes out there, and and uh,
it's I don't find it.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
To answer your question, I don't find it more so
this time than it.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Yeah, what about you, Christopher?
Speaker 4 (28:14):
I think that because I think that for me, since
we've changed in the way we live our lifestyle by
doing kind of things at home.
Speaker 5 (28:24):
More like.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
No, no, no, no puzzles, like like like now a
line things. I'm thinking, like, you know, it's February, March, March, March,
yet February, and by quick it's March, so now we
should have like my one chore as I started splitting
wood for our fireplace for the next season, so it
(28:47):
dries out like that's that's that's how I think about it.
You know, we live our lives now pretty much by season.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
Yeah, that's that's what we do. So what about you?
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Yeah you didn't.
Speaker 5 (28:57):
You didn't expect that one, did you.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Now it's interesting.
Speaker 6 (29:00):
Yeah, But she just said, I don't know. I don't
really think I have any monthly issues when it comes
to all year round depressions. Menopause has been around for
me since I hit my late forties, so we bypassed
that a long time. It was still there. It ain't
(29:21):
going away, but you get to experience on the regular
with me.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
I'm there for you.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
But I don't know.
Speaker 6 (29:30):
I think maybe around I think, I said, I don't know,
maybe around the holidays. It's not so much the holidays
as much as just the darkness. That's the part. I
just don't like I don't I've never liked driving in
the dark as I've gotten older, so I don't do
that much anymore.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
It bothers my eyes as a big part of it.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
But I don't know.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
I just if something happens or something makes me depressed.
I think I'm more communicative about it than what I
used to be, and I think that's something that I
try to work with my husband. Moron is that talk
to me, Communicate with me. You're not by yourself anymore.
You don't have to hold it in for a year,
per se or that whole day or that whole month.
We can talk about it versus feel like you got
(30:12):
to sit there and you know, and be depressed or
feel lonely, or you have to run to the therapist.
We're here together. We need to work be able to
work these things out. Or I need to understand what's
making you sad, because we all have something that may
bother us at that moment or at that day.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
But I can't help you if I don't know what
that is right and.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
The knowledge and understanding that you might not be able
to help exactly.
Speaker 6 (30:38):
So we need to know what's the next step that
we have to do in order to move forward. And
you know, I listen to you guys talk a lot
about therapy, and for me, I never liked therapy.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
When I was.
Speaker 6 (30:48):
Going through some of the things that I've been through
my life, I never thought the therapist was there for me.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
So I walked.
Speaker 6 (30:54):
Away from it, and my only therapy was writing. That's
what helped me get through everything I had been through,
was being able to write out everything I had.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Had gone through.
Speaker 6 (31:03):
The next thing, I know, I said, that's how I
actually ended up got it getting pushed to become an author,
was being able to tell my story, take it out,
and to take it out because I felt that the
therapy that I was getting was more against me than
it was for me. And it was the attitude of, oh, well,
you should just be able to do this, make an
excuse me, But you have no freaking idea what you're
(31:26):
talking about, because you've never been through what I've been through, right,
So you know, And there, like I said, there's nothing
against therapy, but from my and my dealings, it just
wasn't a good experience, and so I never went back
to it.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
So I am and I know I say it constantly
to people I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety started
going into talk therapy and medication back in my twenties, and.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Do I believe it helped. Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Did I have a lot of shitty therapists before I
found a good one? Oh God, yes, Like I would
dip out in the middle of therapy session, be like,
this just isn't working for me, You're not hearing me.
I had a great therapist before moving from New York.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
She was wonderful.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
And when I came here and how to find somebody,
I mean three different therapists, And because of the sensitive
nature of what I was dealing with and trying to
just get through that had come up. I tried going
to a male therapist. I tried going to a female therapist.
I tried going to another female therapist, and to your point,
(32:42):
wasn't helping. And then I finally found one that I
was able to speak.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
To, and she was a lifesaver. She helped work me
through situations.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
You know, back in February when we were talking about
love and self love and loving yourself and we were
ended that conversation and on the do you love yourself?
She helped me realize that it's okay to love myself
and when going through the seasons, like you know, Valentine's
Day just came by, how many people out there were
dealing with that, Oh I'm not in a relationship right.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
How many people will have experienced certain things on Valentine's
Day that makes you not.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Like that day right exactly?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
So you know, and I want you to pull the
thread on that, because that's a really important thing. Like
there are just certain holidays that fall into certain events
that occur in our lives that coincide with these seasons.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
That it's not about the season, it's.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Not about anything other than and Crystal share a story
like it's.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Just a really shitty time and I want to be
in those feelings and we're entitled all be in our feelings.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Yeah, this goes into what I was saying about it.
It's not just this season.
Speaker 7 (33:55):
It's it's and it's ending, and it never ends for
some people because you know, those who were alone and
things like that, you know they're gonna feel alone for
the July Memorial Day, any any any of those things
that that are big events that they either have no
place to go to or they're not invited to, or
that they they say, well, it's me. I don't have this,
(34:19):
So they get depressed all all the mounts of the year.
So it's it's a tough thing and how do you
combat that? And sometimes you got to try the things
that aren't the normal things that to get over or
to deal with it, because I'm not so sure that
(34:42):
the depression is something that you can self mh diagnose, diagnose,
and and medicate to it, because there are people that
medicate to it, you know.
Speaker 5 (34:53):
There are people that are self medicate.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Yes, the right way is right exactly.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Hey, it's legal. I'm gonna smoke into it. It's like that.
Speaker 7 (35:01):
Helps you for that. That's my power app. Right, my
power app is there. Let me let me do adobe
And I'm okay until.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Until lars off right to the rail.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
So it's I don't even know if the cold Doobie anymore.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
No, honey, date yourself.
Speaker 6 (35:18):
This is a little bit okay, blunt, what.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
Do we want to call it?
Speaker 10 (35:23):
Whatever it is, blunt, I need to do like now,
I'm depressed because I'm an old.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
That oh my gosh, Okay, moving on.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
I don't know if I can.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
I'm kind of stuck with the blue from Dooby to
blund how'd you go from like the sixties to like
the nineties?
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Man, Like we just skipped generations. I think there's a
joint in between the.
Speaker 7 (36:00):
Yeah, joint are I'm looking at I'm way heeady. I'm
talking about how do you pull yourself out of a
depressive episode?
Speaker 3 (36:11):
And this is very depressing that I feel so old now.
Speaker 7 (36:14):
So I either got to go out and exercise, be healthy,
avoid substances. See avoid substances. They stay social. I'm staying social.
So this will get me out of it. Stop making
fun of me.
Speaker 11 (36:29):
We still love your bab Are you gonna start exercising
right now? I mean, but you know what, I gotta
give it to him. My babe comes to a line
dancing class once a week, so he's starting his exercises,
getting it in once a week.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
That's a start.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
I think I really need to go.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Probably he starting to get it in once a week,
so it's okay. Do you need to wear your cowboy boots.
Speaker 7 (36:52):
At no, because it's not that type of that's R
and B line dancing, and yeah it's not.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
It's not like it's not like it's not boots scoop boogie.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
It's a different type of boot scoop boomy. It's very
R and B.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
It's very very uh.
Speaker 6 (37:12):
It's the same step, different songs, different movements.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
And there's all women there and.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
It used to be your depression starting out with all
cos and then down.
Speaker 12 (37:26):
The men stayed outside and they look in and they're like,
it's like that what happened the last time we were right,
So its out the herd.
Speaker 7 (37:37):
That was her husband. Yeah, yeah, he stays out there.
He ain't coming in.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
He goes. She exercised down the hall in the gym.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
In the gym, so maybe what I need to do
is like.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
You're not going to the gym. You stayed in that class.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
This is depressed.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
It was your ideas to go.
Speaker 6 (37:51):
Because we decided that we would do at least one
class together.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
She won't let me exercise.
Speaker 6 (37:56):
You know, you wanted to do the ballroom class. Let
me had the bobbing class we were going to first,
and that just.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Didn't work out.
Speaker 7 (38:03):
So we're teaching the every day and she had to
have another look, let's not get that.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yeah, well it's not get into. It just didn't work right.
So we found another class and so we got together.
Speaker 6 (38:16):
It's one thing we go together, you know, together get
our exercise and he needs to get out and get
more exercise.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Because we tried to walk. That didn't last but a day? Literally?
Is it because.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
She was complaining about going up the hell?
Speaker 6 (38:33):
I do have leg issues though right I can walk
before a long period of time, it bothers my legs
because you know, I had the leg injury, so my
act from the accident, so it just it just gets
on my nerves after a while. So I rather did
we find something we both could do, and we we
try to enjoy it and we have a good time.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
We still get our exercise.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
SHOPPINGI I am money guaranteed for the mountain.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
You all shop, you put in your ten thousand steps
a day.
Speaker 11 (39:02):
Yeah, ship, But now that the shopping is getting curves,
now I've gotta.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Putting constrains the ability I need to go.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
To Ikea and walk the five miles through that place.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
What do they call that?
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Like walking through exactly?
Speaker 4 (39:20):
It's like as you're walking through that, you're like, I
had to put this motherfucker together. Instructions don't say that.
Matter of fact, they don't say.
Speaker 7 (39:28):
A thing, but I will I will tell you this
that during COVID, right when when some stores were opened
and malls started opening up, people were going out dealing
with that depression that stem from that.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Walk the malls.
Speaker 7 (39:45):
Yeah, they even opened up the malls early before the
stores opened. And you saw power walking through the mall,
and I went. I went there because it was like, Wow, you.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Actually walked in the mall. You power still do in
the morning.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
You want to call power walked through the mall? You know,
in a fast step.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I write this down. This is history.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
You're as I did a blunt and I walked.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
Walking while blunting. Let's just turn it into an all.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
Right, this is this is this is Carl the entertainer.
Speaker 7 (40:22):
No, like this is actually no, but this is this
is sometimes people, you know, like COVID is a perfect example.
People sheltered in place and they needed to get out,
and when they got out they did ungodly things like walking.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
It was a safe place to walk. It was if
it was raining out, you didn't.
Speaker 7 (40:42):
Give a ship because you could walk into and you
could be out and there with people and things to
look at while getting your exercises.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
I was never depressed during COVID. Me neither outloved every
minute of being home.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
We did.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
We did a lot of driving during COVID because it
was like the first week it's like we're gonna get
no seriously, like we're gonna get bored really quick, and
we randomly drove, which may it probably was like the
first week is probably the second or third week, it's
like we almost drove like the whole state of Virginia.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
We drove around everywhere that we could go.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
Just to just to drive, like I.
Speaker 7 (41:19):
And that's good, that's that's that's probably a great thing.
And you had it together right alone. Right if if
if I decided, hey, let me go drive, I'd probably
never come back because it's like another gas station, let
me fill up, and.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
Then just keep going.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Because yeah, during that time, we weren't together then. But
during COVID, I loved being home.
Speaker 6 (41:39):
And a part of it I think was because I
traveled so much during work and matter of fact, I
had just got home right before they shut everything down.
So when you're constantly on the road, you know, for
months at a time and weeks at a time, to
have that four months to be able to just decompress
and you know, I could still work but didn't have
to worry about Okay, there's another bag.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
I got to live out for this many weeks.
Speaker 6 (42:02):
So I got to be at this site, you know,
got to do this and this and that. It was
a beautiful time for me. I was so thankful to
have that break, even though it was it was a
depressing time. I lost family during that time who died
during COVID. You know, I was very worried about my friends.
I was very worried about my family, but I had
an opportunity to be at home.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
I was absolutely concerned for my child.
Speaker 6 (42:25):
My child was considered an essential employee who was working
as being the optical manager and.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Lead you know in Walmart, So there was I was
going through a lot during that time.
Speaker 6 (42:34):
So I was thankful to be able to be home,
to be there for my son, you know, and not
have to worry about where do I have to be
at next. So I had to handle my depression differently
to in order to make sure that my child was safe.
And gratitude is a great one, and that was very
thankful that I could still have a job because I
(42:54):
was a contractor then I wasn't a government employee, so
you know, so all the little things that we that
we're laughing about now we thought were you know that
people weren't thankful about because so many people.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Complained during that time. You know, we can't nam, we
can't go nowhere.
Speaker 6 (43:08):
And I'm thinking, do you know how many people right
now are suffering the loss of someone if someone or
didn't have a job or something. They're losing something. You know,
there's everything. There's so much that was going on during
that time frame.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Food servers lost their entire livelihood, every yeah, lost everything exactly.
Speaker 6 (43:30):
So you know, so to be able to sit back
and like I said, let's say, give gratitude and be
able to just get up every day and know.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
That I'm safe in my environment. I was thankful for that.
I absolutely understand that, and I agree with you on it.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
I think that it doesn't matter where we are in
the world as far as the time of year. Again,
it's another label, it's another Are we going to turn
it into a greeting card? Sorry you're having seasonal depression?
Or it's gonna end up being a commercial for some
And I say this half flippantly, and as somebody who
did take medication for many years to combat my depression
(44:06):
and anxiety. You know there was one med for my depression,
and there's another medication for when I was having an
anxiety attack, full blown flipping out and it got bad,
and that's how I worked through it. Now I've got
other means that I'll execute in order to work through it,
and the big one is find somebody to talk to
(44:27):
and your point. It doesn't have to be a therapist,
doesn't even have to be your spouse. There are times
where you and I have spoken. I'm like I'm about
to wring someone's neck, or I just feel sad, or
you'll be like, hey, I just need what are your thoughts?
Speaker 1 (44:41):
And it helps bring us to another level, I think,
And maybe it's harder for men.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
I don't know. I think it is harder for men
just because.
Speaker 7 (44:57):
Opening up is a hard thing. More more so listening
and being and being able to offer any sort of
condolence or or help, whether it's sorry for your loss
or if you're going through something like that. I don't
think that that men have. This is a bad thing
(45:17):
to say. I want to say that probably a majority
of men don't have the ability to be empathy, show empathy,
or be empathetic.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
To someone else's.
Speaker 7 (45:29):
Depression, loss, anxiety unless they're experiencing it right, so so
finding the right person to talk to. At one point
it was like people would find solace and talking to
you know, a priest, a rabbi or whatever. I don't
(45:51):
know if they even do that anymore. Sometimes there was
there was just dealing with something and you go to
confessional and say, this is what I've done, this is
what I'm depressed about, and there was no retribution, right.
I don't know if if that exists anymore. If it does,
those people are few and far between.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
What do you think you think it's harder for a man?
Speaker 4 (46:15):
Oh yeah, I know it's especially like where the line
of work guy came from. It was like there's you know,
there's nothing wrong with me, there's nothing you know that
anything is going to change.
Speaker 5 (46:27):
There's none of that. It's like you just suck it up,
drive on, rub some dirt on, and move out now.
Speaker 4 (46:32):
But that was the mindset that I grew up with
from a very small eighteen year old and all i've
until what forty six.
Speaker 5 (46:43):
Now forty five ish something, but I don't remember.
Speaker 4 (46:48):
It's, uh, the mentality of you know, be hard or
go home, and you know, like car mind said.
Speaker 5 (46:58):
No empathy, no nothing, but that's stupid.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (47:01):
Like then, looking back on it, there has been probably
was a lot of ways where I could have dealt
with my depression and my anxiety in other ways rather
than trying to get down to the bottom of a
bottle and.
Speaker 5 (47:15):
Not putting a gun to my head.
Speaker 4 (47:16):
You know. Those were those were the types of things,
but mine was I It took me eleven therapists to
find one that I actually wanted to sit down with
me and work with me and talk to me and
say we're gonna we're gonna work through this, We're gonna
get this done.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
And then she left.
Speaker 4 (47:34):
Then there's gonna have a break. And then I found
another one who was very odd, but he had some
great advice. And I still have some of that stuff
written down on my phone now and I look at
it almost every day of reminding me, don't you know all,
don't bring up bad rules from the past, don't do
stupid shit, you know, just things like that.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
So it's amazing that in today's day and age, here
we are twenty twenty five and everybody is for the
most part compassionate.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
Right.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
I'd like to hope that there's still compassion left in humanity.
Let me say that, and I'll leave it at that.
Speaker 2 (48:10):
But at the same time, it's for men to feel
that they have this, have to have the shell around them,
and that them exposing themselves is literally what they're doing.
Them sharing their feelings is like being exposed. You might
as well walk outside in your underwear, you know what.
Speaker 4 (48:25):
And I will tell any I will tell any service
member that this right here, right now, if you're listening,
there's nothing wrong with going to talk to the wizard
like it is more beneficial for you to go talk
to a therapist to get your stuff out. And if
anybody within your chain of commandment wants to judge.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
You, they are spineless. That is the biggest thing.
Speaker 4 (48:49):
To be able to get your feelings out is probably
one of the best fucking feeling ever.
Speaker 5 (48:57):
That's all I gotta say about that.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
And that's great, absolutely, and I think that's that's important
to think about, because again, who the stereotypes that go
with depression.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Oh you can't be depressed, you or you smile all
the time. Oh you can't be anxious. You're so calm,
cool and collected. Really, I'm like a duck. You have
no idea, what's going on underneath that way?
Speaker 7 (49:17):
Now?
Speaker 6 (49:18):
Yeah, and then you know, when we're talking about the
fact that you know, even growing up and I can't
even remember that, we never have conversations about depression and
our society and black communities. We were told that we
never have these problems. Those those are things that you
just it was like, you cannot have these problems. You know,
you didn't have mental illness, you didn't have depression. It
(49:41):
was never a conversation, even though we know it goes
on in every community, right, but we're just always told
there's nothing ever wrong with us. But you cannot tell
me all the things that you deal with in your
society and your country, from slavery, from Jim Crow all
the way till today. You can't tell me you don't
have depression because every day you're still dealing with the
(50:02):
same thing from the from the time I get up,
I have to worry about what somebody thinks about me
because of the way I look.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
It still goes on.
Speaker 6 (50:11):
So whether I'm depressed or not, you may not know that,
but it's still this that society. There are still people
in the society who still has those same that same
mentality and nobody understands what I'm going through because you're
not me.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
Right, You and I can have two completely different situations
exactly in our lives, and yet both of us experience depressions.
Speaker 1 (50:31):
Yep, it's so great the topic.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
Of empathy, just to be able to empathize with somebody
else's situation and understand that, Hey.
Speaker 1 (50:40):
You can't fix me, and I don't want you to
fix me, right, but I.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Want you to understand that I'm having a moment like
I'm sad, I'm hurt, I'm angry, I'm whatever the adjective
is and the emotion is. And so when I was
my last therapist, she had this wheel in her office
and it was every single color and the rainbow, and
each piece of this pie on the wheel was a
(51:04):
different emotion and she would first day, she's like, so,
what emotions do you relate to?
Speaker 1 (51:09):
I'm like, oh, there's only two, happy and angry.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
Everything else is just noise. She's like, well, what about
all these other emotions. I'm like, again, those are noise.
I can give you happy, I can give you angry,
which what variation of that do you want? And in
understanding that, oh, I'm actually sad, about something or I'm
hurt or I am anxious nervous.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
What is the difference? What is the nuance?
Speaker 2 (51:38):
And being able to come home to my husband and say, hey,
you know what I learned today from therapy.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
Not only did I learn that or talk about X, Y,
and Z, but I also learned that it's okay for
me to tell him.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
I'm sad because and as an example, I watched a
commercial that made me sad or I'm anxious and I'm
thinking about mortality and death because.
Speaker 4 (52:02):
Ye stopping with your dog commercials, Seriously, how dare you
use adaptive dog goes.
Speaker 5 (52:09):
And you're super commercials tear somebody up quick.
Speaker 1 (52:15):
And knowing that it's that that it's okay. It's okay
for seasonally to depressed, it's okay for depressed year round.
Speaker 2 (52:22):
What's not okay is to ignore it exactly. It's not
okay to put somebody down because of it, and it's
really not okay.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
To hurt yourself over it.
Speaker 2 (52:40):
Everybody is important, everybody has purpose and meaning and there's
something out there that will work.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
If it's pooping in the dark, in the dark, if
it's pooping in prayer, it's pooping in prayer and I
love that.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
I'm gonna get you a shortcandas is P and P
just so you know, I'm all about this in my
brain right now. And for you know, if it's playing
with and throwing worms that are in my dirt, okay,
I won't touch the worms.
Speaker 4 (53:07):
I think like you and I were about to go
through the at least for me, I know we're about
to go through a very hard, depressing thing.
Speaker 1 (53:15):
Here very shortly retiring. Ave.
Speaker 4 (53:17):
Yeah, so a lot of people, if you all don't know,
like I do, have a service dog. He is going
on eleven years old. He's got some hip issues, but
he's been he's been a service dog since he was
two and he's been going the whole time. And now
he's starting to slow down. So now I have to
continue to work through my stuff to function without him,
(53:40):
because it's not fair. Now I say all this, if
you had known me fifteen years ago, we wouldn't even
having this conversation. We wouldn't even be.
Speaker 3 (53:50):
Here right now, you know. And if it wasn't for.
Speaker 4 (53:54):
Him, then you know it was. That's a big thing.
But also I'm gonna tell you right now a.
Speaker 5 (54:00):
Big girl when that day comes, because that's very hard
for that.
Speaker 2 (54:06):
And we will all be here and we will all
exactly do what we need to do as a community
and support.
Speaker 1 (54:13):
Any of partying words anybody real quick, no part of wisdom,
the words from father past coming now.
Speaker 3 (54:25):
So we talked about a lot of things uh this
past hour.
Speaker 7 (54:29):
UH, and and we all agree that the depression isn't
just isolated to the months that are they talk about
on Google, is that these are the months of depression
is constant sometimes in people's lives. The things that work
for some people don't work for others. Writing journaling work
for work for some people, it.
Speaker 3 (54:49):
Doesn't work for others. Uh.
Speaker 7 (54:51):
Talking with others that that is important to do, you know,
accentuate the pos in your life because there has to
be some sort of positive. If there isn't, you need
to seek some therapeutic work finding the right person. It
(55:14):
may be difficult at times to find that one person
who could empathize with what you're going through and give
you the positive and mental attitude to deal with the situations.
Speaker 3 (55:22):
That you're going through.
Speaker 7 (55:24):
It may take some time, but don't give up on that.
I think that you know, the one person that helped
me actually understand what I was going through. You know,
I found that person and has helped me through those
tough times.
Speaker 3 (55:37):
So with that said, I just just never never give
up seeking some sort of help.
Speaker 7 (55:46):
If you're if it's getting to be debilitating in your life,
or it's constant in your life that's making you either angry, anxious, depressed,
or what have you, that's my.
Speaker 3 (55:57):
Words of wisdom.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
Find it. Just don't give up, don't give up, never
give up. Okay, Well, to be a.
Speaker 2 (56:05):
Guest on our show, contact Kimberly k I M B
E R L Y W s A b I l
l C at gmail dot com and if you would
like more of Unveiled podcast shows, we are accepting monetary
donations to support the podcast via cash app, PayPal, good
(56:26):
pod tip jar, or go to the website www dot
W S B I l c dot com. Again, we
would like to thank you all for listening to us tonight.
We'll be back next month on a Thursday evening at
seven pm, and be sure to follow us on iHeartRadio, spreaker, YouTube,
or wherever you listen to your podcast. Until then, enjoy
(56:49):
the rest of your evening, take care of go on,
bye bye bye,
Good evening, Welcome to Unveiled.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
We're all conversations are safe, revealing and uncuffed. Tonight's show
is partnered with Chris's Dishes, Jen Chavaz Photography and sponsored
by w s b I LLC, your resource for success podcast.
Here are your hosts, Chris and Gen Chavez. Hey, Chris,
Ka and Carmin and Kimberly Peshi.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
What's up guy?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Hello? Hello?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
What are we revealing tonight? So March is upon us.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I hope everybody enjoyed their holiday and everybody I know
becomes irish. So tonight we're going to talk about something
in the season of seasonal depression. How did this affect
you and what helped you come out of it? You know,
we're in the end.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Of the month.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
They say seasons on all depression lasts through the end
of February, so people are really now welcoming spring, more sunlight.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
I got a lot of light.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
What did you do? I got a lot of.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Sunlight during during this time when when I was out
in the deer stand, when I was not walking around.
So I'm only depressed because it's all over.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
You always gotta have one, I always have.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
One's your first time here?
Speaker 5 (01:25):
I am the hunter guy and fisherman.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
So just so y'all know, also known as the comical relief.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
So I don't know about any of you how you
felt about the winter seasons or if you ever suffer
from seasonal depression. I know I'm not a fan of
the blazing dark myself, but that's just me.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (01:45):
As I say, seasonal depression is between the months of
December through February. And I guess I never really thought
about this seasonal depression, but yeah, I can agree that
I don't.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I never liked the darkness starting at four thirty.
Speaker 6 (01:59):
It's like, what you know, we get up in the
morning and it's dark when we got to work, we
leave work and it's dark, right, And my thing is
I just want to hear him get home before it
gets dark.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Right, exactly.
Speaker 7 (02:10):
And that is a contributor to to to the depression.
Whether you call it, you call it, it is a
sort of depression because it's it's gloomy. It's doomy, the
weather and all that other stuff. Plus if you over
eight during the holidays, you I.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Mean, yeah, you've already got the symptoms. Right. You need
to more on fat.
Speaker 7 (02:32):
So yeah, but you know sometimes that carries that seasonal
depression carries way past the months of in my mind,
you know, just the typical order, which is, you know,
December through February.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Or to March.
Speaker 7 (02:46):
But it's it's it seems like in today's society, it's
it's a continual depression that affects us, not only as
the climate changes, as the.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
The government changes.
Speaker 7 (02:59):
Is it's it's constant now, so it's it's worse at
those times, but it's it can happen in the spring, summer,
or or fall.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Absolutely, it's not just the winter season.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Some people do receive or have seasonal depression in the
warmer months.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I know, you hate the summer.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
No, it's not that I love being outside.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
That's that's why I like when the first seasonal depression
during December, January, February, It's like it doesn't really affect
me because I'm outside during those.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
Times doing hunting things.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
But when it comes to like, hey it's ninety five
thousand degrees outside, Oh.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
My god, we don't live in the desert with.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
The humid Well, sometimes Ford can't feel like that. Especially
this past summer it was hot, and that's just like
I got it. It just steps outside just to get
fresh air and it's hot.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
It's like the helle.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
When we say about the seasonal depression.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I personally I hate cold weather because I'm always cold
to begin with autoimmune disease, So I don't like being outside,
which means I'm inside more often than not, and I'm
not getting that natural sunlight and I'm not getting fresh
air as much as if it's spring or summertime. So
for me, you know, coming out of the bitter cold
(04:20):
and into now the warmer months, you know, a couple
of days nicer, even just hitting fifty sixty degrees, it
just feels so good on the body, tilting your head up,
letting the sun just bathe you.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I really do think it's a mood booster for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (04:34):
I think like when Carman was talking about how seasonal depression,
to me, it's almost like all year. And I think
of it that way because we always look at how well,
you know, like you said, the wintertime is kind of blah,
and then you all send you're into the spring and
summer and people are wine and crying because either it's
(04:56):
too hot or well, oh my gosh, I can't get
into this baiting suit, or I'm not dark and now
I need to get tanned, or there's always something to
whine about.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Right, There's always something that people are depressed.
Speaker 6 (05:07):
About throughout the year, and it's because we've been sett
into this this conform this conform conforming attitude about what
we're told from the time that we're brought into this
world about you know, you have to do this, you
gotta do that. You know, this is the time of
season you're preparing for. Is it really does it really matter?
(05:28):
I think this is a question we need do we
have to ask ourselves what? But it's a personal thing
I think is what helps ourselves get through whatever it
is that we're going through. But we're just so used
to having to deal with the same things all year round, right,
So we know from December in January February, there's a
(05:49):
lot of holidays, right, so people are happy about the
holidays and then to get depressed because the holidays are over,
you know.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
I look at it also the other way, where there
are a lot of people who get depressed around the holiday,
right because they have they feel that they're supposed to
be a family, but maybe they don't have family nearby,
or they don't have family, or there is this financial
expectation of Okay, so whether it's one night of Christmas
(06:19):
or eight nights of Hanaka, or in our family we
celebrate both.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Yes, I'm broken because also it's our birthday. So my
seasonal depression is.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Don't worry. I got you. There's stands exactly that is
perfectly happening.
Speaker 7 (06:42):
So we all have different ways to cope with it, right,
whether we know we are depressed or not right, right, but.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
It still it still goes back to conforming. Right.
Speaker 6 (06:53):
It's it's the societal thing. It's what we've been raised,
It's what we've been told. This is the time of
year where you go and you go broke. Well yeah,
but I love.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
The question you posed about what is it that we
have to do? What are the things that have to
be done?
Speaker 1 (07:09):
So, you know, for Chris and myself, for us comes springtime. Well, okay,
let me take a pause.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I'm a firm believer, and I've said it before and
I will always say it. I'm a firm believer in
therapy talk therapy specifically, and I believe it does help
with with one forget combating what's going on. But identifying
that there's actually something to talk about very important. So
whatever season you want to tick, and let's just generalize it,
(07:39):
there's always something that's going to be weighing on you.
So for us, you know, getting our seeds in the ground,
you know, February and March is important because we have
an expectation that we've placed on ourselves that we are
going to have fruits and vegetables and crops ready to
go that we can start pulling them out and being
prepared for whatever. And I say being prepared as in
(08:02):
like he goes hunting in the winter. I hate cooking.
I want to go downstairs, grab a jar of food,
shove it in a pot, not shove port in a pot,
and I'm good. I've got dinner ready and waiting. I
need to make some rice in my insta pot.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Cool. So there are certain stressors that we put on ourselves.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
But at the same time, and I know you're gonna
cringe when I say this, there is nothing more therapeutic
to me than being out in the garden with my
hands in the dirt and I'm like getting in it,
or I'll have my earbuds in and I'm trimming away
to a tomato plant.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
And I know that sounds really kind of dorky, but uh.
Speaker 6 (08:42):
No, See I did that as a kid, so never
I said, I bowed. I would never do that as
an adult, Okay, because we had garden mam and.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Us and I.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Never again, Mama, I'm with you. Just call me.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
I'll come out because it is so pauseful to me.
You know, I don't have to talk to him. Which
that's another thing with need to talk to people. How
often are you talking to people during the holidays all
the time.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
So don't do that during December to February.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Don't talk to you my Christmas and Hanuka presents? When
are you talking about it?
Speaker 7 (09:24):
I think what we're going to find is that uh,
as we for talk, will find what what distresses us,
uh and what we find and we'll look at each
other and say, I'm never going to do that, just
like you just said, no way am I going to
attend to a garden, right.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
But there are things that traditionally are out there and
say like life therapy, right.
Speaker 7 (09:48):
Because so I'm curious as anybody at this forum here
have has used you know, a light, I.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Will tell you I have not, but I'm so interested
in red light therapy.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
I I've been doing a ridiculous amount of research on it,
just because it is supposed to be so good for
you at a cellular level, to help you.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
And they have little ones, so you just hold it
up to your face for like ten fifteen minutes. They've
got the.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Big sauna looking tight. So you walk in, you hang
out for a while. That would be kind of cool,
like a therapy.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Yeah, it's yeah.
Speaker 7 (10:22):
So you either buy a light box or you go
to a place that has you know, light violet light
that you sit in the chamber and you do that
for a very short period of time.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Work for me.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
No, no, no, I'm all about being in the darkness.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Like a mushroom. Just like a mushroom.
Speaker 7 (10:40):
But seriously, I mean I I first of all, I
read about that and they say what the right And
then I say, maybe maybe let me enlighten myself and.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Go to get it. I'm not gonna buy a one
while we'll go.
Speaker 7 (10:55):
We'll go to a place and we'll go try it
once and it will say, oh I felt better, and
maybe go a second time. Says you know, it's really true.
It's not like going to a massage. I feel great,
but my body aches because I got beat up. It's
it's light. What couldn't do other than help you? What
did Chris do? Just as we got ready for one
(11:17):
of the podcasts, right, it's like.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Can we open the blinds? Light? Light has I believe
has therapeutic valves?
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Oh there, it's it's proven. Like we were just listening
to podcasts all the way over here and they're talking
about like the biggest things you need to do is
like get up, get out and get your vitamin D
every day.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
That's my thing.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
I gotta get out, I gotta get me. I can
stay at home. I don't care if I have light.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
I don't. I just want to really just wants to relax.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
It's just me and and I don't know.
Speaker 6 (11:51):
It's just one of those things that I think because
I've always been on that rat race, always in rush,
always got to be out, always got to do something.
Felt like I always one hundred miles per hour.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
I'm not like go do something like just go outside
for fifteen minutes to take a walk. I don't even
want to trying to get someone else to do here.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
I don't want to even go.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
I don't even want to go out and walk.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
I don't have a problem with like sitting outside and
just enjoying sitting still. But I don't want to feel
like I have to go out and walk to get
that that moment of you know, therapy. But if you
want me to sit out there on the porch and enjoy,
you know, a glass of water or just relax, I
have no problem with doing that. But for me, just
(12:32):
having that moment of silence is good. Or just laying
across the bed in the darkness, I'm good.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
I just need to have that that.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Decompression or putting on music relaxes me more than anything. Really, Absolutely,
he knows I can have music on twenty four hours
a day even when I'm working.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I have to have that noise in the in the
background that helps me. Even if I'm not actually listening to.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
It's interesting, I'd get lost.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I actually worked better. I can't even think straight. Wow,
I think my brain is just too noisy. And I'm
serious when I say that.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I have so many thoughts that occur at any given
point in time, and the music I get distracted. When
I was in school and studying as an adult, I
thought it was just because I was getting older, I
could not stand it. If you had the TV on
and I.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Could hear it, I would lose my mind. I'd have
to close the door with noise canceling headphones on just
so I didn't hear anything.
Speaker 7 (13:36):
So that's that's true the same way I can't have
certain distractions.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Music, however, is a little different.
Speaker 7 (13:42):
But I find it hard to concentrate, you know, having
music on while I'm trying to write something. Right, I agree,
if I'm I'm there just vacuuming or washing something or
doing something inane where it's not distracting, the music is
good therapy. If I'm trying to telework and there's something
(14:04):
in the background.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
There's that. And that's probably.
Speaker 7 (14:08):
Why I like to get out, because you know, even
working in the office or working you need I find
it like walking away and take a walk somewhere outside
to just decompress and then come back.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
To it right here. If you're in the house all day,
you don't want to be in you know you need it.
You need.
Speaker 7 (14:32):
There's no drive home, right, there's there's just you go
from the desk to the kitchen, right and it's like, okay.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
When you get that dog, you all are gonna be
out quite a bit. No, he'll be out because his dog.
I'm good. You know he'll be retired. I won't be
This is gonna be a different I like the idea.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I like the idea of things that we all individually
do to cope with things or for decompressing, for stress.
Because I'll pick on my husband because it's easy. So
what is the number one thing you enjoy doing that
brings your levels down when you get stressed?
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Hunting, fishing, being outside?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Right, so that's your thing, Like even if he's having
a bad day, like he'll just.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Go outside, go walk the dog dogs. What about you?
What is something that you enjoy doing when you know,
like you need to bring your heart level down?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Oh, my heart level down. I want to say, take
a nap.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Really, that's amazing. I love that. I love it because
sleep is underrated.
Speaker 7 (15:47):
Yeah, so I have the uncanny ability to fall asleep.
I could just leave that chair and go there and
not out for.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Fifteen minutes, no matter what time of day, no matter.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
What time of day.
Speaker 7 (16:04):
And will you sleep at night usually absolutely absolutely? Just
like you get relaxed, you get into a relaxed position
or place and I can just shut down that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
I find very very odd when I tell people that you.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Are a rarity for sure. I don't think I know
anyone else that can. You can fall asleep, but you
have to be exhausted to fall asleep.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Well, I mean, there have been times when I've gone
out on my own, like during deer season and lunchtime,
I've gotten out of the truck and just laid down
next tree and power napped. But I can't do that
at home.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
Nope, what about you?
Speaker 7 (16:48):
I'm just looking like shit. I could do that while driving,
That's how good I am.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (16:54):
Well, for me, I can do a power nap every
now and then. It can't be regular. It's not stuff
I do regularly. But doing my workouts. I love my
zoomba and if I get chance, I'll get out there
and look my weights.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
That's that for me.
Speaker 6 (17:09):
I enjoy but definitely getting into the zoom but that
I gotta get that anxiety out.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
And then and have my music rolling in my.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
In my head.
Speaker 6 (17:17):
That that's something that really helps me out. And he
knows that, like, look, I gotta get in two three times.
Let me let me go get my work out in,
because he's not he doesn't like exercise.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
He doesn't like to get out there and do some
of those things.
Speaker 6 (17:28):
So that's where we have that's where we separate our differences.
He'll go sit down and take his little nap and
he'll go I work out.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
See, I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I I find working out definitely helps with my stress.
And I realized it even more after my injury when
I was healing in my neck and everything else. And
the first day of the doctor is like, okay, you
can go back to the gym, and I was like,
I'm gone, I'm going.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Let's see how this is going to shake out.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
And it wasn't until after the workout where I'm like, okay,
like I really needed that. And you know, we do
CrossFit and we do Olympic lifting, and just grabbing that
piece of iron, this barbell in my hand and I'm like,
all right, I can now take everything that's been pissing
me off for the last however long and transfer into
(18:18):
this is definitely for sure one way and the other
thing that I find that I need to have my
hands busy when I get fidgeting, when I get really
anxious knitting.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Oh wow.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I don't know why we could be watching TV and
I'll sit here knitting and.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
Get done like an hour.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah, it's it's the craziest thing that because I will
lose track of what we're doing. And I knew I
was stressed when I started this, or something was on
my mind bothering me.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
And it's just a way to kind of take whatever
it is that's going on and move it elsewhere. And
we all have things right right, they're going through our head,
you know.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Uh, that long ago, Christ and I put away the
phones at night and we were telling you about this.
And here I am laying in bed. He's reading his
book and I didn't have a book with me, And
all of a sudden, I was like, all right, I'm
gonna try deep breathing.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Okay one, two, three, four? Oh, Ship, there are four
different things that I need to clean tomorrow tomorrow. What
else do I need to do?
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I'm gonna see Kim tomorrow. Oh, Kim and Carmine. What
should I mean?
Speaker 4 (19:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I got to finish the blak and I promise you.
I went into the spiral in my brain and I
looked at him like he's still not done reading crap?
Okay one two?
Speaker 4 (19:36):
I will say though, like when I when I crawled
into bed, I was like, where's your book? She was like,
all my books are have like recipes for tinker cheers,
and I was like, no, they don't. Get go get
a book, Like I know there's a book you read
yet there is a.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Book, right, yeah?
Speaker 6 (19:52):
And for me, like if I had not working out,
I'll start writing things in my phone or there, I
start writing, period, but then that gets bad because if
I start writing, then it becomes a book.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I mean.
Speaker 8 (20:07):
So, so you're talking about like journaling, right, no, actually
actually writing, okay, because there are there are things that
people do for depression, you know, in the journal, right,
and I find it.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
I find that there is some value in that.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Have you have you journal?
Speaker 3 (20:27):
I haven't journaled in a long time.
Speaker 7 (20:29):
It becomes a book, it becomes but it becomes in
my mind, it becomes what I'm really depressed about, or
objectionable about, or having a difficult time dealing with. So
it does have therapeutic value. Journal it's just but but
but I didn't like it, right because here I am
(20:50):
writing three or four pages and it's not meant It
was never meant to do that.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
It's meant to.
Speaker 7 (20:55):
You know, get you understanding what what it is that's
bothering you. It's more of it's more of like a
therapy session, and when there's no one there other than.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Yourself, so you're the therapist on yourself.
Speaker 7 (21:10):
A lot of people love journaling and they say that
it's great them through it, and and and it's great
it It helps me somewhat, but it doesn't help me
to the fact where I'd rather power nap, you know,
disengage my mind from what's what's what's depressing me, and
and I could deal with it better that way than journaling,
(21:30):
because then I look back at some of my journals,
I just threw them away.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
It says, Wow, what a bitch I was? Did I.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Tried journaling? I did.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
A dear friend of mine years ago gave me a
journal and it's beautiful, and I started journaling in it,
and all my emotions and my feelings like liability. I
don't need this ship like I don't want somebody to
picking this up. What if I die and somebody comes
through my house and they start reading, Oh look she
had on two day September sixteenth, she had.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
A bad day, sucker. I just don't want it right,
So I other books that I have.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I start writing recipes to things like Okay, I want
lotion or I want.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
To make I don't know, dish soap, which you know.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
These are just things that I find other use of it.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
But I can appreciate somebody who can journal meditation. Do
you meditate? I don't know. I don't really. I don't
think I really meditate.
Speaker 6 (22:29):
I think and if I am meditating, I don't even
know I'm really meditating.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (22:33):
I think that uh a lot of times that I'll
sit there and think, and I think my meditation is
more prayer. I'm not even realizing that I'm actually doing it.
I'm telling them one day then that I take my
meditating and prayers when I'm sitting on the toilet.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
That's all that's like. And this is my quiet time.
Speaker 6 (22:53):
I'm sitting there and I can, I mean, go to
the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
That is not what I'm praying about.
Speaker 6 (23:06):
It's it's just the opportunity to have that moment of darkness, quietness,
there's nothing else going on in my head.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
It's my opportunity to be thankful. But it's awesome. Why
are you in the dark in the dark.
Speaker 6 (23:19):
Yeah, do you really, I don't like knights on it.
He'll tell you, I'm not a light person. He turned
off the turns that damn light.
Speaker 7 (23:26):
On the early the early, the early months or freaking hell.
She's got the freaking hell because places. It's great for
when you're walking a path, but when you wake up
to go to the bathroom night and you get yelled
at for turning the freaking light on because I run
(23:47):
into the freaking bureau.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
That's like, how am I going to see? Oh wait
a minute, hold on, there's this little damp little light,
just like like a torch light.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
If you're hearing a comeback, he's a little depression.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Don't deal with lights on. Don't go to your.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Cairv his house.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
I keep like I have beautiful lights, you know, those
little plugging the stay on all the times.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
You know, it's not like it's dark dark in the house.
Speaker 6 (24:14):
But he's the type of person that will turn light
on the.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
I know wherever, Like even in the middle of the night,
you just turn on the lights.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
You you got to go to Ladrina or not.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
He was that every light all down light.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
Okay, we have like a little blue like night light
that comes off I got.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
There's night lights in every room in this house, every
room all over there.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
So what you're saying is is like, if there was
ever you.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Know, and in the bathroom there's a night like that.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Took out the lighting in the world, you'd be happy, right,
excuse me, if there was an E M P that
took out the lighting in the world, you would be happy.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Nobody has to.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Turn on the lights out I figure it out.
Speaker 7 (24:59):
I would tell you this, if I had to do
my business in the dark, I will fall asleep on
that not bottom line, if I don't have a.
Speaker 6 (25:08):
Light, right, there's a switch, so you you know there's
a light.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
I know, and I just don't need it. I need
to be making fun of.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Me to turn it on. The light going to the bathroom.
Speaker 7 (25:18):
Somebody thinks that's a bad thing.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
It's not a bad thing. And if anybody wants to
comment on.
Speaker 7 (25:26):
This podcast, yes I ship light on or ship without
the light on, please let me know.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
I go with the lights on. I need to know
what's going on. I need visual conte because.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
The only time that night in the boy Scouts.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Okay, let me rainy in. Okay, it's not about going
to the bathroom.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Seasonal depression. I mean, like the body is cold. It's
really the toilets, like the toilet bowls cold when you
sit down on it.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
And that's depressing.
Speaker 7 (26:00):
All right, we'll get back, We'll get that.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Let's figure out asked the questions I needed to know.
She said in the dark.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I was like, she went there. I just looked at.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Chris, you look at me. I'm like in the dark anyway.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
So about the depressional depression regardless of season, do you
find yourself stressing over certain things during certain times a
year more than others, Carmen.
Speaker 7 (26:28):
I think I stress equally over the twelve months.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
I don't find myself more. Yeah, I don't find myself more.
Speaker 7 (26:38):
Depressed, if you want to call it depressed or anxious
or whatever you want to call it between the months
of seasonal depression. I think it's it's you know, throughout
the year, I distributed what depression is.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Around to go around. And I think that therapists will
will will attest to that.
Speaker 9 (26:56):
Because the therapist wants to come here right now, CARMI
could keep me afloat because he's a twelve month depressor
as opposed to Kimberly.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Here's a three month depressor. I'm gonna go with the
one that brings me revenue every month.
Speaker 7 (27:14):
So no, I I I can't say that one season.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Uh gets me? Gets me? Man? I mean the triggers.
You know, Oh, it's dark out all time. That's that
that that.
Speaker 7 (27:28):
Surfaces during this time frame in the summer, it's like
light all the time. It's like, oh, shoot, it's five
o'clock and it's light out, and it's now nine o'clock
and the lights are just starting to get I go
back to the days when I was, you know, young,
It's like, you know, soon as the street lights came on,
that's when you came home, so you were out.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah, things, it has to be on the go all
the time when it's when it's so.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
Yeah that I can't do that.
Speaker 7 (27:56):
You know, as I'm getting older, I don't like to
drive at night and stuff like that. And this besides,
there's a lot of assholes out there, and and uh,
it's I don't find it.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
To answer your question, I don't find it more so
this time than it.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Yeah, what about you, Christopher?
Speaker 4 (28:14):
I think that because I think that for me, since
we've changed in the way we live our lifestyle by
doing kind of things at home.
Speaker 5 (28:24):
More like.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
No, no, no, no puzzles, like like like now a
line things. I'm thinking, like, you know, it's February, March, March, March,
yet February, and by quick it's March, so now we
should have like my one chore as I started splitting
wood for our fireplace for the next season, so it
(28:47):
dries out like that's that's that's how I think about it.
You know, we live our lives now pretty much by season.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
Yeah, that's that's what we do. So what about you?
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Yeah you didn't.
Speaker 5 (28:57):
You didn't expect that one, did you.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Now it's interesting.
Speaker 6 (29:00):
Yeah, But she just said, I don't know. I don't
really think I have any monthly issues when it comes
to all year round depressions. Menopause has been around for
me since I hit my late forties, so we bypassed
that a long time. It was still there. It ain't
(29:21):
going away, but you get to experience on the regular
with me.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
I'm there for you.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
But I don't know.
Speaker 6 (29:30):
I think maybe around I think, I said, I don't know,
maybe around the holidays. It's not so much the holidays
as much as just the darkness. That's the part. I
just don't like I don't I've never liked driving in
the dark as I've gotten older, so I don't do
that much anymore.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
It bothers my eyes as a big part of it.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
But I don't know.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
I just if something happens or something makes me depressed.
I think I'm more communicative about it than what I
used to be, and I think that's something that I
try to work with my husband. Moron is that talk
to me, Communicate with me. You're not by yourself anymore.
You don't have to hold it in for a year,
per se or that whole day or that whole month.
We can talk about it versus feel like you got
(30:12):
to sit there and you know, and be depressed or
feel lonely, or you have to run to the therapist.
We're here together. We need to work be able to
work these things out. Or I need to understand what's
making you sad, because we all have something that may
bother us at that moment or at that day.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
But I can't help you if I don't know what
that is right and.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
The knowledge and understanding that you might not be able
to help exactly.
Speaker 6 (30:38):
So we need to know what's the next step that
we have to do in order to move forward. And
you know, I listen to you guys talk a lot
about therapy, and for me, I never liked therapy.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
When I was.
Speaker 6 (30:48):
Going through some of the things that I've been through
my life, I never thought the therapist was there for me.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
So I walked.
Speaker 6 (30:54):
Away from it, and my only therapy was writing. That's
what helped me get through everything I had been through,
was being able to write out everything I had.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Had gone through.
Speaker 6 (31:03):
The next thing, I know, I said, that's how I
actually ended up got it getting pushed to become an author,
was being able to tell my story, take it out,
and to take it out because I felt that the
therapy that I was getting was more against me than
it was for me. And it was the attitude of, oh, well,
you should just be able to do this, make an
excuse me, But you have no freaking idea what you're
(31:26):
talking about, because you've never been through what I've been through, right,
So you know, And there, like I said, there's nothing
against therapy, but from my and my dealings, it just
wasn't a good experience, and so I never went back
to it.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
So I am and I know I say it constantly
to people I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety started
going into talk therapy and medication back in my twenties, and.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Do I believe it helped. Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Did I have a lot of shitty therapists before I
found a good one? Oh God, yes, Like I would
dip out in the middle of therapy session, be like,
this just isn't working for me, You're not hearing me.
I had a great therapist before moving from New York.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
She was wonderful.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
And when I came here and how to find somebody,
I mean three different therapists, And because of the sensitive
nature of what I was dealing with and trying to
just get through that had come up. I tried going
to a male therapist. I tried going to a female therapist.
I tried going to another female therapist, and to your point,
(32:42):
wasn't helping. And then I finally found one that I
was able to speak.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
To, and she was a lifesaver. She helped work me
through situations.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
You know, back in February when we were talking about
love and self love and loving yourself and we were
ended that conversation and on the do you love yourself?
She helped me realize that it's okay to love myself
and when going through the seasons, like you know, Valentine's
Day just came by, how many people out there were
dealing with that, Oh I'm not in a relationship right.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
How many people will have experienced certain things on Valentine's
Day that makes you not.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Like that day right exactly?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
So you know, and I want you to pull the
thread on that, because that's a really important thing. Like
there are just certain holidays that fall into certain events
that occur in our lives that coincide with these seasons.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
That it's not about the season, it's.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Not about anything other than and Crystal share a story
like it's.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Just a really shitty time and I want to be
in those feelings and we're entitled all be in our feelings.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Yeah, this goes into what I was saying about it.
It's not just this season.
Speaker 7 (33:55):
It's it's and it's ending, and it never ends for
some people because you know, those who were alone and
things like that, you know they're gonna feel alone for
the July Memorial Day, any any any of those things
that that are big events that they either have no
place to go to or they're not invited to, or
that they they say, well, it's me. I don't have this,
(34:19):
So they get depressed all all the mounts of the year.
So it's it's a tough thing and how do you
combat that? And sometimes you got to try the things
that aren't the normal things that to get over or
to deal with it, because I'm not so sure that
(34:42):
the depression is something that you can self mh diagnose, diagnose,
and and medicate to it, because there are people that
medicate to it, you know.
Speaker 5 (34:53):
There are people that are self medicate.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Yes, the right way is right exactly.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Hey, it's legal. I'm gonna smoke into it. It's like that.
Speaker 7 (35:01):
Helps you for that. That's my power app. Right, my
power app is there. Let me let me do adobe
And I'm okay until.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Until lars off right to the rail.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
So it's I don't even know if the cold Doobie anymore.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
No, honey, date yourself.
Speaker 6 (35:18):
This is a little bit okay, blunt, what.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
Do we want to call it?
Speaker 10 (35:23):
Whatever it is, blunt, I need to do like now,
I'm depressed because I'm an old.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
That oh my gosh, Okay, moving on.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
I don't know if I can.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
I'm kind of stuck with the blue from Dooby to
blund how'd you go from like the sixties to like
the nineties?
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Man, Like we just skipped generations. I think there's a
joint in between the.
Speaker 7 (36:00):
Yeah, joint are I'm looking at I'm way heeady. I'm
talking about how do you pull yourself out of a
depressive episode?
Speaker 3 (36:11):
And this is very depressing that I feel so old now.
Speaker 7 (36:14):
So I either got to go out and exercise, be healthy,
avoid substances. See avoid substances. They stay social. I'm staying social.
So this will get me out of it. Stop making
fun of me.
Speaker 11 (36:29):
We still love your bab Are you gonna start exercising
right now? I mean, but you know what, I gotta
give it to him. My babe comes to a line
dancing class once a week, so he's starting his exercises,
getting it in once a week.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
That's a start.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
I think I really need to go.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Probably he starting to get it in once a week,
so it's okay. Do you need to wear your cowboy boots.
Speaker 7 (36:52):
At no, because it's not that type of that's R
and B line dancing, and yeah it's not.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
It's not like it's not like it's not boots scoop boogie.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
It's a different type of boot scoop boomy. It's very
R and B.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
It's very very uh.
Speaker 6 (37:12):
It's the same step, different songs, different movements.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
And there's all women there and.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
It used to be your depression starting out with all
cos and then down.
Speaker 12 (37:26):
The men stayed outside and they look in and they're like,
it's like that what happened the last time we were right,
So its out the herd.
Speaker 7 (37:37):
That was her husband. Yeah, yeah, he stays out there.
He ain't coming in.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
He goes. She exercised down the hall in the gym.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
In the gym, so maybe what I need to do
is like.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
You're not going to the gym. You stayed in that class.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
This is depressed.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
It was your ideas to go.
Speaker 6 (37:51):
Because we decided that we would do at least one
class together.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
She won't let me exercise.
Speaker 6 (37:56):
You know, you wanted to do the ballroom class. Let
me had the bobbing class we were going to first,
and that just.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Didn't work out.
Speaker 7 (38:03):
So we're teaching the every day and she had to
have another look, let's not get that.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yeah, well it's not get into. It just didn't work right.
So we found another class and so we got together.
Speaker 6 (38:16):
It's one thing we go together, you know, together get
our exercise and he needs to get out and get
more exercise.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Because we tried to walk. That didn't last but a day? Literally?
Is it because.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
She was complaining about going up the hell?
Speaker 6 (38:33):
I do have leg issues though right I can walk
before a long period of time, it bothers my legs
because you know, I had the leg injury, so my
act from the accident, so it just it just gets
on my nerves after a while. So I rather did
we find something we both could do, and we we
try to enjoy it and we have a good time.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
We still get our exercise.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
SHOPPINGI I am money guaranteed for the mountain.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
You all shop, you put in your ten thousand steps
a day.
Speaker 11 (39:02):
Yeah, ship, But now that the shopping is getting curves,
now I've gotta.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Putting constrains the ability I need to go.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
To Ikea and walk the five miles through that place.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
What do they call that?
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Like walking through exactly?
Speaker 4 (39:20):
It's like as you're walking through that, you're like, I
had to put this motherfucker together. Instructions don't say that.
Matter of fact, they don't say.
Speaker 7 (39:28):
A thing, but I will I will tell you this
that during COVID, right when when some stores were opened
and malls started opening up, people were going out dealing
with that depression that stem from that.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Walk the malls.
Speaker 7 (39:45):
Yeah, they even opened up the malls early before the
stores opened. And you saw power walking through the mall,
and I went. I went there because it was like, Wow, you.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Actually walked in the mall. You power still do in
the morning.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
You want to call power walked through the mall? You know,
in a fast step.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I write this down. This is history.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
You're as I did a blunt and I walked.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
Walking while blunting. Let's just turn it into an all.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
Right, this is this is this is Carl the entertainer.
Speaker 7 (40:22):
No, like this is actually no, but this is this
is sometimes people, you know, like COVID is a perfect example.
People sheltered in place and they needed to get out,
and when they got out they did ungodly things like walking.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
It was a safe place to walk. It was if
it was raining out, you didn't.
Speaker 7 (40:42):
Give a ship because you could walk into and you
could be out and there with people and things to
look at while getting your exercises.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
I was never depressed during COVID. Me neither outloved every
minute of being home.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
We did.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
We did a lot of driving during COVID because it
was like the first week it's like we're gonna get
no seriously, like we're gonna get bored really quick, and
we randomly drove, which may it probably was like the
first week is probably the second or third week, it's
like we almost drove like the whole state of Virginia.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
We drove around everywhere that we could go.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
Just to just to drive, like I.
Speaker 7 (41:19):
And that's good, that's that's that's probably a great thing.
And you had it together right alone. Right if if
if I decided, hey, let me go drive, I'd probably
never come back because it's like another gas station, let
me fill up, and.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
Then just keep going.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Because yeah, during that time, we weren't together then. But
during COVID, I loved being home.
Speaker 6 (41:39):
And a part of it I think was because I
traveled so much during work and matter of fact, I
had just got home right before they shut everything down.
So when you're constantly on the road, you know, for
months at a time and weeks at a time, to
have that four months to be able to just decompress
and you know, I could still work but didn't have
to worry about Okay, there's another bag.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
I got to live out for this many weeks.
Speaker 6 (42:02):
So I got to be at this site, you know,
got to do this and this and that. It was
a beautiful time for me. I was so thankful to
have that break, even though it was it was a
depressing time. I lost family during that time who died
during COVID. You know, I was very worried about my friends.
I was very worried about my family, but I had
an opportunity to be at home.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
I was absolutely concerned for my child.
Speaker 6 (42:25):
My child was considered an essential employee who was working
as being the optical manager and.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Lead you know in Walmart, So there was I was
going through a lot during that time.
Speaker 6 (42:34):
So I was thankful to be able to be home,
to be there for my son, you know, and not
have to worry about where do I have to be
at next. So I had to handle my depression differently
to in order to make sure that my child was safe.
And gratitude is a great one, and that was very
thankful that I could still have a job because I
(42:54):
was a contractor then I wasn't a government employee, so
you know, so all the little things that we that
we're laughing about now we thought were you know that
people weren't thankful about because so many people.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Complained during that time. You know, we can't nam, we
can't go nowhere.
Speaker 6 (43:08):
And I'm thinking, do you know how many people right
now are suffering the loss of someone if someone or
didn't have a job or something. They're losing something. You know,
there's everything. There's so much that was going on during
that time frame.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Food servers lost their entire livelihood, every yeah, lost everything exactly.
Speaker 6 (43:30):
So you know, so to be able to sit back
and like I said, let's say, give gratitude and be
able to just get up every day and know.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
That I'm safe in my environment. I was thankful for that.
I absolutely understand that, and I agree with you on it.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
I think that it doesn't matter where we are in
the world as far as the time of year. Again,
it's another label, it's another Are we going to turn
it into a greeting card? Sorry you're having seasonal depression?
Or it's gonna end up being a commercial for some
And I say this half flippantly, and as somebody who
did take medication for many years to combat my depression
(44:06):
and anxiety. You know there was one med for my depression,
and there's another medication for when I was having an
anxiety attack, full blown flipping out and it got bad,
and that's how I worked through it. Now I've got
other means that I'll execute in order to work through it,
and the big one is find somebody to talk to
(44:27):
and your point. It doesn't have to be a therapist,
doesn't even have to be your spouse. There are times
where you and I have spoken. I'm like I'm about
to wring someone's neck, or I just feel sad, or
you'll be like, hey, I just need what are your thoughts?
Speaker 1 (44:41):
And it helps bring us to another level, I think,
And maybe it's harder for men.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
I don't know. I think it is harder for men
just because.
Speaker 7 (44:57):
Opening up is a hard thing. More more so listening
and being and being able to offer any sort of
condolence or or help, whether it's sorry for your loss
or if you're going through something like that. I don't
think that that men have. This is a bad thing
(45:17):
to say. I want to say that probably a majority
of men don't have the ability to be empathy, show empathy,
or be empathetic.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
To someone else's.
Speaker 7 (45:29):
Depression, loss, anxiety unless they're experiencing it right, so so
finding the right person to talk to. At one point
it was like people would find solace and talking to
you know, a priest, a rabbi or whatever. I don't
(45:51):
know if they even do that anymore. Sometimes there was
there was just dealing with something and you go to
confessional and say, this is what I've done, this is
what I'm depressed about, and there was no retribution, right.
I don't know if if that exists anymore. If it does,
those people are few and far between.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
What do you think you think it's harder for a man?
Speaker 4 (46:15):
Oh yeah, I know it's especially like where the line
of work guy came from. It was like there's you know,
there's nothing wrong with me, there's nothing you know that
anything is going to change.
Speaker 5 (46:27):
There's none of that. It's like you just suck it up,
drive on, rub some dirt on, and move out now.
Speaker 4 (46:32):
But that was the mindset that I grew up with
from a very small eighteen year old and all i've
until what forty six.
Speaker 5 (46:43):
Now forty five ish something, but I don't remember.
Speaker 4 (46:48):
It's, uh, the mentality of you know, be hard or
go home, and you know, like car mind said.
Speaker 5 (46:58):
No empathy, no nothing, but that's stupid.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (47:01):
Like then, looking back on it, there has been probably
was a lot of ways where I could have dealt
with my depression and my anxiety in other ways rather
than trying to get down to the bottom of a
bottle and.
Speaker 5 (47:15):
Not putting a gun to my head.
Speaker 4 (47:16):
You know. Those were those were the types of things,
but mine was I It took me eleven therapists to
find one that I actually wanted to sit down with
me and work with me and talk to me and
say we're gonna we're gonna work through this, We're gonna
get this done.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
And then she left.
Speaker 4 (47:34):
Then there's gonna have a break. And then I found
another one who was very odd, but he had some
great advice. And I still have some of that stuff
written down on my phone now and I look at
it almost every day of reminding me, don't you know all,
don't bring up bad rules from the past, don't do
stupid shit, you know, just things like that.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
So it's amazing that in today's day and age, here
we are twenty twenty five and everybody is for the
most part compassionate.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
Right.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
I'd like to hope that there's still compassion left in humanity.
Let me say that, and I'll leave it at that.
Speaker 2 (48:10):
But at the same time, it's for men to feel
that they have this, have to have the shell around them,
and that them exposing themselves is literally what they're doing.
Them sharing their feelings is like being exposed. You might
as well walk outside in your underwear, you know what.
Speaker 4 (48:25):
And I will tell any I will tell any service
member that this right here, right now, if you're listening,
there's nothing wrong with going to talk to the wizard
like it is more beneficial for you to go talk
to a therapist to get your stuff out. And if
anybody within your chain of commandment wants to judge.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
You, they are spineless. That is the biggest thing.
Speaker 4 (48:49):
To be able to get your feelings out is probably
one of the best fucking feeling ever.
Speaker 5 (48:57):
That's all I gotta say about that.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
And that's great, absolutely, and I think that's that's important
to think about, because again, who the stereotypes that go
with depression.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Oh you can't be depressed, you or you smile all
the time. Oh you can't be anxious. You're so calm,
cool and collected. Really, I'm like a duck. You have
no idea, what's going on underneath that way?
Speaker 7 (49:17):
Now?
Speaker 6 (49:18):
Yeah, and then you know, when we're talking about the
fact that you know, even growing up and I can't
even remember that, we never have conversations about depression and
our society and black communities. We were told that we
never have these problems. Those those are things that you
just it was like, you cannot have these problems. You know,
you didn't have mental illness, you didn't have depression. It
(49:41):
was never a conversation, even though we know it goes
on in every community, right, but we're just always told
there's nothing ever wrong with us. But you cannot tell
me all the things that you deal with in your
society and your country, from slavery, from Jim Crow all
the way till today. You can't tell me you don't
have depression because every day you're still dealing with the
(50:02):
same thing from the from the time I get up,
I have to worry about what somebody thinks about me
because of the way I look.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
It still goes on.
Speaker 6 (50:11):
So whether I'm depressed or not, you may not know that,
but it's still this that society. There are still people
in the society who still has those same that same
mentality and nobody understands what I'm going through because you're
not me.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
Right, You and I can have two completely different situations
exactly in our lives, and yet both of us experience depressions.
Speaker 1 (50:31):
Yep, it's so great the topic.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
Of empathy, just to be able to empathize with somebody
else's situation and understand that, Hey.
Speaker 1 (50:40):
You can't fix me, and I don't want you to
fix me, right, but I.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Want you to understand that I'm having a moment like
I'm sad, I'm hurt, I'm angry, I'm whatever the adjective
is and the emotion is. And so when I was
my last therapist, she had this wheel in her office
and it was every single color and the rainbow, and
each piece of this pie on the wheel was a
(51:04):
different emotion and she would first day, she's like, so,
what emotions do you relate to?
Speaker 1 (51:09):
I'm like, oh, there's only two, happy and angry.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
Everything else is just noise. She's like, well, what about
all these other emotions. I'm like, again, those are noise.
I can give you happy, I can give you angry,
which what variation of that do you want? And in
understanding that, oh, I'm actually sad, about something or I'm
hurt or I am anxious nervous.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
What is the difference? What is the nuance?
Speaker 2 (51:38):
And being able to come home to my husband and say, hey,
you know what I learned today from therapy.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
Not only did I learn that or talk about X, Y,
and Z, but I also learned that it's okay for
me to tell him.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
I'm sad because and as an example, I watched a
commercial that made me sad or I'm anxious and I'm
thinking about mortality and death because.
Speaker 4 (52:02):
Ye stopping with your dog commercials, Seriously, how dare you
use adaptive dog goes.
Speaker 5 (52:09):
And you're super commercials tear somebody up quick.
Speaker 1 (52:15):
And knowing that it's that that it's okay. It's okay
for seasonally to depressed, it's okay for depressed year round.
Speaker 2 (52:22):
What's not okay is to ignore it exactly. It's not
okay to put somebody down because of it, and it's
really not okay.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
To hurt yourself over it.
Speaker 2 (52:40):
Everybody is important, everybody has purpose and meaning and there's
something out there that will work.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
If it's pooping in the dark, in the dark, if
it's pooping in prayer, it's pooping in prayer and I
love that.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
I'm gonna get you a shortcandas is P and P
just so you know, I'm all about this in my
brain right now. And for you know, if it's playing
with and throwing worms that are in my dirt, okay,
I won't touch the worms.
Speaker 4 (53:07):
I think like you and I were about to go
through the at least for me, I know we're about
to go through a very hard, depressing thing.
Speaker 1 (53:15):
Here very shortly retiring. Ave.
Speaker 4 (53:17):
Yeah, so a lot of people, if you all don't know,
like I do, have a service dog. He is going
on eleven years old. He's got some hip issues, but
he's been he's been a service dog since he was
two and he's been going the whole time. And now
he's starting to slow down. So now I have to
continue to work through my stuff to function without him,
(53:40):
because it's not fair. Now I say all this, if
you had known me fifteen years ago, we wouldn't even
having this conversation. We wouldn't even be.
Speaker 3 (53:50):
Here right now, you know. And if it wasn't for.
Speaker 4 (53:54):
Him, then you know it was. That's a big thing.
But also I'm gonna tell you right now a.
Speaker 5 (54:00):
Big girl when that day comes, because that's very hard
for that.
Speaker 2 (54:06):
And we will all be here and we will all
exactly do what we need to do as a community
and support.
Speaker 1 (54:13):
Any of partying words anybody real quick, no part of wisdom,
the words from father past coming now.
Speaker 3 (54:25):
So we talked about a lot of things uh this
past hour.
Speaker 7 (54:29):
UH, and and we all agree that the depression isn't
just isolated to the months that are they talk about
on Google, is that these are the months of depression
is constant sometimes in people's lives. The things that work
for some people don't work for others. Writing journaling work
for work for some people, it.
Speaker 3 (54:49):
Doesn't work for others. Uh.
Speaker 7 (54:51):
Talking with others that that is important to do, you know,
accentuate the pos in your life because there has to
be some sort of positive. If there isn't, you need
to seek some therapeutic work finding the right person. It
(55:14):
may be difficult at times to find that one person
who could empathize with what you're going through and give
you the positive and mental attitude to deal with the situations.
Speaker 3 (55:22):
That you're going through.
Speaker 7 (55:24):
It may take some time, but don't give up on that.
I think that you know, the one person that helped
me actually understand what I was going through. You know,
I found that person and has helped me through those
tough times.
Speaker 3 (55:37):
So with that said, I just just never never give
up seeking some sort of help.
Speaker 7 (55:46):
If you're if it's getting to be debilitating in your life,
or it's constant in your life that's making you either angry, anxious, depressed,
or what have you, that's my.
Speaker 3 (55:57):
Words of wisdom.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
Find it. Just don't give up, don't give up, never
give up. Okay, Well, to be a.
Speaker 2 (56:05):
Guest on our show, contact Kimberly k I M B
E R L Y W s A b I l
l C at gmail dot com and if you would
like more of Unveiled podcast shows, we are accepting monetary
donations to support the podcast via cash app, PayPal, good
(56:26):
pod tip jar, or go to the website www dot
W S B I l c dot com. Again, we
would like to thank you all for listening to us tonight.
We'll be back next month on a Thursday evening at
seven pm, and be sure to follow us on iHeartRadio, spreaker, YouTube,
or wherever you listen to your podcast. Until then, enjoy
(56:49):
the rest of your evening, take care of go on,
bye bye bye,
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