New Year's Resolutions

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, good evening. Welcome to WSB I, your resource
for success podcasts Unveiled, where all conversations are safe, revealing,
and uncuffed. Tonight's show is partnered with again Chris's Dishes.
He wow, it has been quite the evening. Before we
get started, I would like to introduce all my lovely hosts.

(00:25):
I have hostesses and hostesses.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
It's like a cupcake around here. Hostess cupscakes.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
Come out ray. But anyway, can somebody else take all the.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
Cry?

Speaker 1 (00:49):
Right now?

Speaker 3 (00:49):
Is what happens when you start drinking.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
And they've only had one. Alright. I'm Chris, Welcome Christy Chris.
I'm Jen, Welcome Jen Hie.

Speaker 3 (01:06):
And this is Carmene.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Welcome Carmen Yaha.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Hello, neighbor, would like to be my neighbor. Twenty twenty
five is starting off without bang?

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yes, right, alright, so because we are we are definitely
going crazy. Right now? Is my new year? What are
we revealing tonight? It's twenty twenty five. That's awkward? Right?
We made it through twenty four ship.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Barely drones in the air, Thank god, thank god that
disaster is over.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Oh we just have a toast? Yes four yes, yes,
no more what's up with you need to get a
new one because you got to be a part of
You got to be a part of the gang. You
got to be a part of the gang. We can

(02:14):
talk about you. We're good, but come on back quickly quickly.
How was New Year's Years? Is a bang? Spending with
some wonderful people? Love you? Yes? Yes, yes? And so
the thing that you know, we really want to focus
on tonight that we've all agreed that yes, we really

(02:36):
need to have this revealing conversation about resolutions. Do you
make them, do you really believe in them? And do
you actually stick with them? Right? Because that's my the thing.
You know, I have this thing about these this New
Year's resolutions stuff.

Speaker 4 (02:54):
I've always been torn.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
Yeah, if it's say do you do it? Do you
not do it? Do you really want to do it?
Or you just because you're supposed to do it? Well,
you know, for year up to year, I make these
resolutions and nine percent times we don't stick with them. No,
if I quit doing them, preach because I've decided that
you need these types of resolutions all throughout the year.

(03:16):
There's little things that we have to do, little by little,
step by step, whatever that might be for your individual self.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
Right, So what is the actual purpose if you look
back at it, What was the purpose of a resolution
to better yourself?

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Right?

Speaker 3 (03:28):
Right?

Speaker 4 (03:29):
Why do I need a day to better myself? Shame
on me if I'm not trying to better myself throughout
the course of a year.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
I don't think.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
I don't think it's a day, though it's a it's
the premise of the resolution to like focus on something
or some things to be able to better yourself throughout
the year. You know, do you want to make this better?
Do you want to do this better? Do you want
to see this happen for yourself?

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Do you want to make Are you okay?

Speaker 5 (03:57):
Right?

Speaker 2 (03:58):
What's wrong by struggling in the back watching father past
over here?

Speaker 1 (04:04):
Get the wax? This is God's whipping out. You're just
right in this in this household?

Speaker 5 (04:13):
There you go.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
So I don't think it's it's just a day.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
I think it's more of being able to think you sure,
uh say, this is what I plan to focus on.
So like for me, you know, I had particular goals
for myself and I don't.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
I don't even know if resolutions is the right word
for me. It's goals.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
So like this past year, my goal was to be
able to do certain things, and I think I accomplished
like maybe those things.

Speaker 4 (04:46):
So I so, what's always on my list every year?
To eat healthier but work out more to lose weight.
And the challenge with that, I'm dying right now that
you're making him do this.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Never mind, we're gonna you know, we're crazy around here, right,
Things got to be right, things got right, doors open.
This is why you too should be married. Yeah, yeah,
I don't hear. So I agree, Like.

Speaker 4 (05:22):
Look, I make these resolutions and in the past, we've
made lists. We want to learn a new language that
failed epically.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
We wanted to do better with eating healthy. That one
we actually do. We want to do better at the gym.

Speaker 4 (05:37):
Okay, that one, yes, because that's like that's our love language,
that's how we speak to each other. But there are
other things that I've tried doing where I'm just like, who.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
Am I kidding? You know what?

Speaker 4 (05:47):
I am going to drink that alcohol, I'm going to
eat that damn piece of cake.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
If you touch my cake, I will stab you with
the four I think a big part of it is
that people when they're thinking about the resolutions are making
too many, I just said, and they're trying to fix
it all through the year instead of taking little bite
sizes and saying, Okay, I'm going to concentrate on this
one thing, and if it takes me the whole year,
that's fine. If it doesn't take you the whole year,

(06:12):
then you add something else to your list.

Speaker 4 (06:15):
Per se, Right, what's your most common resolution? Then you
find yourself continually making peace to have peace for a
year after year after year.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
That's a constant thing of just wanting to be able
to get up every day and have as much peace
in my life as I can get away from all
the craziness. Each year gets better. I like that only
because I've decided to concentrate on myself versus where before
it's concentrated on everything else around me but myself. So
there was no peace fair And then having this new
man in my life that brought me more peace because

(06:48):
I had I was able to trust again. So that's
gonna be a huge part of peace.

Speaker 4 (06:52):
Trust.

Speaker 5 (06:53):
So do you think that having peace is not a
really tangible thing to succeed to because of the fact
that it's really really on things that are not in
your control people that are you work with, people that
you come into contact every day. It could be something
as simple as a commute that doesn't give you peace.
So do you find that if you make a tank

(07:15):
what I call a tangible thing, like say I want
to lose twenty pounds, it's goal as far as.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
It is tangible resolution because you can only control what
you can control those things that are out of your control. Yeah,
we get pissed, we're human, right, We're gonna get upset
that five minutes. But if you allow that to take
over your whole day, then you've lost your control that
you had because of somebody else. So it is a
tangible thing. It just depends on how we decided to

(07:44):
react to it.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
So I kind of like that that you say that again,
the losing control thing or not being able to control
your controls.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
Yeah, I mean, you can't be in control what you're
not in control of, But it is tangible because you
can control that. You decide how you want to react
to it. Right, we all react to everything around this.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
We just sat in traffic coming here because there is
a flipped car on the road on the side went
off the road. Wow, fire departments there They're standing in
the road and this ya who next to us, thinks
by banging on his steering wheel, it's going to make
the car in front of him, as this nim nod

(08:28):
decides to beat around go to the right, thinking he's
gonna cut in front.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Like, all right, you're getting places, buddy.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
Because you can't see the big red, flashy truck or
the big right flashy car or.

Speaker 4 (08:40):
The fifteen firemen in the middle of the road who
are trying to flip a vehicle back over. It's like,
come on, right, So do you get peace or does
circumstance dictate peace? I agree with I don't think circumstance
dictates piece. I think wholeness. It can't be compartmentalized. You
have to actually make a certed decision that.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Exactly.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
So I will tell you, like I struggle with this
a lot, and I still continue to struggle with it.
And actually I have saved this in my phone from
a therapist who I sat down with and we were
talking about you know, different things and going into the
realm of like you know, find me peace. And my

(09:27):
piece was, you know, getting out of the military, I
had to find my piece of like, hey, this is
not you know, zero six wake up, zero six thirty pt.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
You know, shave absolutely all that stuff. Blah blah blah
blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
So one day we're discussing almost this very thing, and
he said, dragging shitty rules from back in the day
is not the way to live today and to evail
the rules.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yep, so makes sense. It does.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
And I think like with the goals or resolutions, whatever
you want to call them, it's like Jen said, like
we can make a list of rules or a list
of goals, lists of resolutions, it's just which ones do
you are attainable for the individual?

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Right right? I love evaluating the rules. Do the rules
that we grew.

Speaker 4 (10:21):
Up with or that we knew of, including making resolutions,
really are they applicable? Like I'm thinking about twenty three
into twenty four, What were some.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
Of the resolutions we came up with for us?

Speaker 2 (10:33):
Yeah, garden better, which we did.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
We we yes, we got accomplished a lot.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
God help us with peppers, okay, we did. We wanted
we wanted to learn a new language, which we failed epically, epically.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
At there's no sesame street.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
For us for our from the street. We we try
to do a lot more. We try to do a
lot less of COVID drinking.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
That was that was a big thing. And we also I.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
Will tell you one that she actually did on her
own that I was like, if she does this, she's
going to continue to do this.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
And I don't even know this is a resolution or
a goal.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
But she actually started going to the gym that I
was going to, and the moment she started going there,
I could actually see her getting better, no, not even better,
really brighter, Like she would actually talk to individuals, engage
with people and find those people who had almost kind

(11:45):
of like common interest and stuff, and you know. But
then she was like, Okay, I want to try a
different class.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
And then we went to this different class.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
I was like, I don't know where this chick came from,
but like she is like squat booty hell from here
right here.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
It's true.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Hey, but she she and she was just like you
could see it.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
Every time she would like do a personal record, you
could see how bright she would get, how likely she.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Would get She's like, this is awesome. I didn't know
I could do this.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
And I was like, you're doing great at it. You're
absolutely doing great at it. So that that was one
thing that you just.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
Like what you just saidste.

Speaker 4 (12:25):
Knowing wrong with the Okay, what did you resolve?

Speaker 5 (12:29):
Did you make a resolution for twenty four I did not,
because I haven't kept a resolution that I've ever made.
So so I'm saying, why am I kidding myself? You know,
I look at things differently. I say, you know, you
know read more, or you know, things like learning another language. Right,

(12:51):
It's a lofty goal, but I'm never going to do
it at the stage of my life. I'm going to
speak English and and broken Italian. Yeah, but but there
there there are some things that were not really resolutions.
There were things from my therapy days where making a

(13:12):
bucket list, right, and that was the things that I
find more doable, important and important. So so I won't
make a resolution because I know I'm never gonna make it.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
Okay, So let me go ahead and me ask you this.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
Her and I have never really kind of discussed bucket
list things, but like, I think I know a couple
of her bucketless items. She definitely knows a couple of
my bucket list items. Like, is there bucket list items
that for you that you would never tell your significant other?

(13:51):
Just to try to accomplish them for yourself.

Speaker 5 (13:56):
That's a difficult thing to answer because none, no, I
I there wouldn't be anything now. But the first thing
on my bucket list from Ashley pre Ashley was to
find someone to spend the rest of my life with. Right, Oh,
and that was I can't tell you when that was.

(14:16):
That was my bucket list was in twenty twenty one,
so it took me a while to get to that.
That was the top one of my bucket.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
Was But was that a while between that conversation with
Ashley to now or prior to that with Ashley?

Speaker 1 (14:35):
And now? What I'm what I'm getting at is do
you try to say everybody everybody.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
Wants to find their person, Everybody wants to find their
their spirit animal, everybody wants to find their soulmate that
they want to be with.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
Okay, is it? Do you do you feel like that
was something that was prior to.

Speaker 6 (14:55):
Your wife or after after being as did you know
you wanted to find your Kim?

Speaker 5 (15:05):
For me to put it on the top of my life,
I was missing someone before.

Speaker 3 (15:09):
Before we get to that.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
Just everybody understands when that comment from Jen about Kim
to Ashley Ashley is apt.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yeah, that's right, Yes, that a part of my life
at all.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
She's not.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
We're gonna need a metro map power point.

Speaker 4 (15:35):
Cat. Ashley is a therapist. Carbon and I shared a therapist.
We did not go to therapy together, but she's amazing.

Speaker 5 (15:43):
So so so for me to put it on the
top was like the number one thing because I realized
that that was something that was going to change my
life dramatically. The other things were insignificant, and it just
so happened that finding the person is more difficult than
a year's worth of a resolution. I think you have

(16:04):
to change a lot of other things in order for
that to happen. So we open and honest about what
you want.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
Do you all think that.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
The resolution air quotes, slash goals air quotes are actually
year end bucket list items?

Speaker 4 (16:23):
I would say some of it because Ashley had me
do that as well, and for everyone's situational awareness. We
are a full support of therapy.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
In case you haven't noticed, I am.

Speaker 4 (16:36):
If anyone would like Ashley's contact information, please feel free
to reach out to me at Jen dot Chavis three
three at gmail dot com. I will happily and I
do support and promote her. So when she had me
do my bucket list, it was around the end of
the year, and we were discussing.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
Things that are of value, and it was you know, what.

Speaker 4 (16:59):
Things are important to me that I wanted to accomplish
given the certain circumstances of my life at that time.
And it wasn't about finding my soulmate. It was about
compromising because and this will be something I'm sure we'll
discuss later on in the days, is that as an older,
established professional individual, male or female, we are set in

(17:24):
our ways and compromising, especially when you have such diverse
backgrounds like Chris and I are fundamentally opposite, you know,
country mouse and city mouse. It was it took a
while for us to dive, yeah, to figure our battle rhythm,
to figure out how do we best work together because

(17:46):
it had been so easy to throw hands up. But
it's important that my resolution at that time where my
bucket list, was how do I learn how to compromise
and then understand that I don't always have to be right.
I don't always have to have my way be the
right way. And while I might throw my middle finger
up a him when he's not looking, or roll my

(18:06):
eyes at him when he's not looking.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
That's okay. Do you know who's in charge when she's
not in the room. She knows she's not here though
I tell her. Though, Well, I think that's funny that
you guys talk about how opposite you are. I think
our biggest thing is that we're too much alike. You
think so? Absolutely? Oh yeah, absolutely? Oh gosh.

Speaker 4 (18:29):
What do you think is the most common denominator between
two y'all?

Speaker 1 (18:32):
Because I so I does every audience.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
I think.

Speaker 1 (18:41):
On the table, how.

Speaker 4 (18:46):
Different are the two of you? So if I walk
into a room, do you think I'm going to put
the two of you together as being married?

Speaker 3 (18:52):
No?

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Absolutely, Why nobody thought we were. There's nothing that anybody
thought that that was anything. And with the two of us,
right aside from the fact of race, like it's not
even I mean, that's obviously the first given thing that
I thought I usually got to hear or deal with,
is like married white, married to a white man? What

(19:13):
you not that he's bald?

Speaker 3 (19:16):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (19:17):
And then the ball.

Speaker 5 (19:19):
And you Okay, that was that was the three things
from our father. Bald, you're bald, you're Italian, you're a
white man, your trinity it's like, oh my.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
God, from her fault. Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. We
had the conversation. Oh he was grilled. I was drilled.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
I was.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
I was here.

Speaker 3 (19:41):
We had a plan, we had a plan of who
hold on time out time and I.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
Know we're kind of like the off subject here. But
your dad, I was gonna say, because I know how
old you are. I know how old you are.

Speaker 1 (19:58):
Right, yeah, you can say, okay, yeah, you're his Eightieska
sitting where she was?

Speaker 3 (20:08):
Were you like she was sitting here just on the phone,
her son was sitting there, and I was being.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
I was trying to be interrogated.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
I mean I was being interrograted. I was trying not
to be waterboarded.

Speaker 5 (20:23):
But it was like seven eight nine questions before you know,
he got to the point where did.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
He say yes, Like obviously you're asking.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
No, he didn't have to say yes. It was just
it was just like.

Speaker 5 (20:42):
He was trying to figure me out because of my age,
because I was white, because I was married before, I
have a child, and.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
And it wasn't just that. A big part of it
was because of what I've been through fair, fair and
then on the same token, I've been by myself for
nineteen years long time, that is, to not be in
another relationship, to not be married again. And then literally
I never talked about this man to my family at all,
so it was just all thrown at them, literally, and

(21:15):
now I can see why.

Speaker 4 (21:16):
Okay, all right, so now I see why your father's
given you the third degree.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
All right, coming back full circle to Tols.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
So you guys are too much alike? Yes, yeah, I can.

Speaker 3 (21:27):
You know me, I could.

Speaker 5 (21:29):
I'm very i could choke around like the best of them.
I'm a ball breaker and she can break them right back.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
So it's like it's like we're very alike that way. Yeah,
I mean we're crazy, Like, yeah, we like to shop.
We like to I mean even making the bed. We're
so attentive about making the be Okay, you got your side,
I got my side. Everything has to be perfect, you know,
Pillows got to be perfectly right. Even when we break
the bed down at night. We literally had the same

(22:00):
routine without even having to say anything to each other.
We're crazy. I don't touch the bed.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Look, but it's very it's very funny because when we
first started this, this podcast, I knew this was this
kind of a subject was going to come up about
these certain things that we have, and and and and
I can see how this is kind of like going
into bucket list resolution.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
Goals and stuff.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
Because finding Jen was like, oh, that's my death slide.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
But it sounded like, I know, hold holding up to Chihuala.

Speaker 2 (22:43):
So the funny The funny thing is is like when
her and I first got together, that uh, she would
come and visit me. And one time I was doing
laundry and you know, typical you know, laundry s like hey,
put in laundry, detrition and start go, doesn't matter what

(23:06):
it was.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
And you should have seen her faith the look of like.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
Boy, I bet she bought two fat babies and a
jelly donut. You are not gonna make it around here.
I was like, what's wrong? She's like what did you
just do? I was like, Laundry's like, what do you mean?

Speaker 1 (23:25):
My way?

Speaker 2 (23:28):
So the day, so when she used to go back up,
like she would leave for the weekend.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
She would she did this. One time.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
I walk in and I had my laundry stuff ready
to go. I walk up and there he is this
four three by five, four by six card tight.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
To my washing dryer detailed the destructions on how to
do my laundry. Wait, wait, hold on, wait wait, and
I'm like separated my color? No way, oh yeah, you color? Right,
here's the best part.

Speaker 2 (24:09):
So she comes back like a couple of weeks later,
comes down and she kind of like she literally just
like starts walking around in my apartment. I'm like, she
really is just like looking to see if I did this.
I was like, are you kidding me?

Speaker 1 (24:28):
Wow? Freaked me out. So she doesn't know how to
properly do laundry. Oh, you'd be surprised. It has nothing
to do with that. I was in the army, get
it done exactly.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
So, but I will tell you.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Probably about nine months ago, she's going through the art
junk drawer that we have, and she knows how I
feel about junk drawers.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
It drops me insane.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
I oh my god, I hit him dry mesick. So
she we're like going through seessions and she pulls out
this piece of paper.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
She's like, what is this? Did you laminate this?

Speaker 3 (25:09):
I was like yeah, She's like, why did you laminate?

Speaker 2 (25:11):
I was like, because if you die, I don't know
what the hell's gonna happen.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
I'm gonna do.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
So like those like resolution goals. Buget list is like
when you find your person and you're you know you're
with that person or you have those common things in interest.
It's like, first of all, I know, if she has
to go away for two weeks, which she has done before,
like I would do laundry, it's like pull out the card,
like I will be in trouble, suck.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
I don't know what this is. It's a piece of
dental flaws.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
Put that over here, you know, so.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
You refer to my undergard if that's a strength, that's
what it is. Yeah, it's a strength and that much.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
But actually, you know, like I do like the bucket
listening like I I. And I'm honestly, I never knew
that she did that with Ashley making the bucket list,
because mine was the one.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
It wasn't even about doing one for my therapist.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
Mine was just I wanted to get through some of
the turmoil stuff and focus on things for me to
make me a better person.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
So going back to the resolutions and and so forth.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
And I mean, I have one that I try to
do every year and it's not even.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
Like I'm putting this on the list.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
I'm literally just doing it for myself, and that is
to do one less thing that is keeping me from
doing something stupid to myself.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
I like that. I like that.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
That's a good one.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
Yeah it is.

Speaker 4 (26:49):
Yeah, I prefer you on this side of the daisies.

Speaker 1 (26:51):
Yep, exactly right, yep.

Speaker 3 (26:54):
It's that like going to work, to work, one less
stupid thing to do.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
So we actually have had this. I can put that right.

Speaker 4 (27:05):
So when we think about twenty twenty five, like, what
are resolutions that we make less stress? So how do
you make less stress by prioritizing that which is important? Absolutely,
I will say that it took me probably through Thanksgiving
of twenty four to say to myself it's time to
prioritize the short term vice the long term. Do we

(27:30):
need to have exponential amounts of money? Do we need
to have exponential amounts of time running around and out
and about.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
I gotta tell you, I am so cozy being home and.

Speaker 4 (27:44):
Aside from coming here, like we don't go places because
you know what, at the end of the day after
work eight hours has.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
Become a long day. Well yeah, more than eight hours.
Well yeah, anybody does eight hour day anymore.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
We went out to do her last night, and it
was just like hip pocket, like, hey, let's go somewhere.
And when we were done and went home, I was like,
I honestly I didn't say this, sir, but I must
say it now.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
It's like.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
I could have just stayed home, Like I could have
really just stayed home and gone downstairs, figured something out
to do for dinner.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
So we didn't have to watch the two women share
the glass of wine. I've never have you wait a minute, yes,
go back rewind a glass of wine sitting next to us,
and they shared a glass of wine like they The
bartender poured one glass of wine and they split it
fifty to fifty.

Speaker 4 (28:41):
So that okay, because you know, and I looked at
him and I said, I just want you to know that
she will never happen with me. I will drink all
my wine exactly because you might as well just stay
home and wine.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
It is fuck around find out.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
But that's for a different, different podcast.

Speaker 1 (29:01):
Absolutely.

Speaker 4 (29:03):
But anyway, So did you make any did you make
any resolutions?

Speaker 1 (29:08):
I won't really say I made well, I'll take that back.
I don't know if there were really resolutions, but my
goal was to be financially free. Set up and what
I mean by that was it's like, Okay, I had
been for the last ten years, and I blessed this
woman every day who's a part of my life, has
been a great friend of mine, and it's also my

(29:29):
realtor and so forth. So for ten years I had
this plan and she helped me build this plan so
I could be financially free, and that means I paid
all my bills off. I wanted to be able to
prepare for my retirement, not knowing of course that I
was going to ever be re married or anything like that.

(29:50):
So Seini, you're being you're being talked about right now.
So I love you, love you more than life itself.
And it's just, you know, one of those things that
I needed I want to to accomplish. You know, when
you I won't say I was ever really struggling, but
there's just certain things, like you just said earlier about
there's things that you need and things you don't need.
And it's amazing what you find yourself being able to

(30:11):
do without. Yes, But then also you can find yourself
being in that hole, and that hole can just get
bigger and bigger because you can afford it, right, you
can do the things you want to do. And I
wanted to be able to have that freedom of not
having to worry about when I did decide to cut
the plug, to not have to ever work again, that
these things are hanging out here in my life, right.
So you know, we had our plan, it worked out,

(30:33):
and I benefited from that and I utilize it in
the right way. And I don't think a lot of
times people use it as a if you want to
call it a resolution or a goal or whatever, because
sometimes we think that we're always going to be here,
nothing's ever going to happen, and life's just going to
go on, right, But at the end of the day,
I can't. I can't think that way, and I didn't

(30:54):
want to have that burden on my child.

Speaker 4 (30:56):
Fair But you made a goal, So maybe one is
to say that a resolution is and support of a goal. Right,
So you had a goal, that's your ten thousand foot
ye go right, right? Like I plan to be debt
free when I retire, and your resolution is the small
baby steps that you have to take in order.

Speaker 3 (31:14):
To get there.

Speaker 1 (31:14):
Absolutely.

Speaker 4 (31:15):
So for twenty twenty five, my resolution, because coming off
my injury, is I want to be able to get
back into the gym is a resolution. I resolve, come
hell or high water, to get back into the gym again.
My goal is to get myself back to being fight
ready right. And I don't talk fight ready as a

(31:36):
military fight ready.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
I'm saying, like when.

Speaker 4 (31:38):
I used to fight, fight ready, And is that something
I'm going to obtain God willing, Yes, hopefully absolutely.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
But it's the resolutions.

Speaker 4 (31:47):
Are I need to eat better, I need to prioritize
my health. I need to get whatever is currently still
wrong with me fixed. And we can't two resolutions ourselves.
I don't think I think we fail at our resolutions
because we think we have to do it by ourselves.
I rely on Chris for so many things, and when

(32:10):
I think about what I want to achieve in twenty five,
I know I need his support. I need him to
kick me in the tush when I'm getting lazy and
I might curse him out and I might tell.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
Him to leave me alone.

Speaker 4 (32:24):
And maybe I'm having a bad day or same with
you all, because you know you have your bad days
and that's not wrong.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
Maybe you want that Oreo because in pre Oreos, I'm
just saying, yes he is, he is all for oreos
wait to do the gluten free chips of why I'm
just putting you out there. It's real. But these are
the things.

Speaker 4 (32:45):
Where so if we look at resolutions and I think
you know two or three come to mind, being healthier,
losing weight, major adjustments in your lifestyle that puting work, Yes,
a huge adjustment, like you need to leave work where work.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
Is Can we do that?

Speaker 4 (33:09):
Is that a resolution you can accomplish yes with help?

Speaker 2 (33:12):
And you need not give work more time like all
these people are like, oh, I gotta get this done, dude,
it will be there tomorrow. There are so one thing
I was taught at a very young age in the
military is like it's life, limb or eyesight. If it

(33:33):
does not involve anybody's life losing a limb or losing
any eyesight, guess what.

Speaker 1 (33:39):
It is not that important.

Speaker 2 (33:42):
The most important thing I got her eight legs at
home and.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
Freaking my wife. Yeah, the dogs, the dogs.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
It's there's nothing more important than what I got. There's
nothing important like at home is important.

Speaker 5 (34:01):
So what you say is is just resonating in my
mind because it's true.

Speaker 3 (34:06):
It's what's what's the challenges is that we've been.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
Bucking that.

Speaker 5 (34:14):
For so long thinking that Okay, if I give no
more than eight hours, I'm a slacker. If I'm not
staying for a meeting, I'm a slacker. Right, And that's
that's that's a hard thing to break. It's a hard
paradigm to shift.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
And uh and.

Speaker 5 (34:33):
And that's one of the things that is on my
resolution list is not full prey to that thinking. It's
difficult because for however long I've been working, it's never
been an eight hour day, right.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
And that's like we all we actually everyone at this
table has had this co worker says, we're pretty mu
all of us has been working the same spot. Just
had a heart attack and it's currently going through what
double bypass surgery. It's like the paycheck's not worth it.

(35:11):
Like I want to get up one day at some
place and see it stunning view next to my wife.

Speaker 5 (35:19):
You know.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
There you go, get it right, get it right.

Speaker 5 (35:24):
You know.

Speaker 2 (35:24):
I want I want to go to like, you know,
some crazy like place where like we'll just say, you know,
Yellowstone National Park. Never been always wanted to go, just
want to go and see, Like I want to see
random things for going to walk through the driveway or
through the driver through the on the roadway with my

(35:45):
wife and like that's cool. Look at that, you know,
that's it, and like girding to go see the next thing.
I want to go see the biggest ball of yarn,
you know for some Yeah, there really is a big
ball of yarn. I mean I want to see those
things with her and I got it.

Speaker 5 (35:59):
Yeah, it's the adventure of even the smallest things.

Speaker 3 (36:04):
Yes, And and that's.

Speaker 5 (36:06):
That's that's where I want to be, even celebrate the
little things. And it's even if going to a new
restaurant or going down and finding something different right that
that you're you get you get supposed to.

Speaker 1 (36:25):
How are you too? So alike?

Speaker 4 (36:27):
I have the blessed privilege of knowing you both very well,
and I see separately separately, right so I know the
specific from my lens, how different.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
The two of you are.

Speaker 4 (36:40):
So I'm curious what the similarities are other than the
alpha type personality which you out alpha.

Speaker 7 (36:49):
She's she surpasses me on that that attracted him, That
attracted me because you know what, it wasn't mean or
or demeaning or anything like that.

Speaker 5 (37:02):
It was it was out of you know, love and respect.
It's it's it's never been a negative thing.

Speaker 1 (37:07):
Yes, I take it as a compliment.

Speaker 5 (37:10):
And she'll look at me and say, you know, like,
don't give me that look. It's like it's a look
of I'm not I agree with you.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
I'm not.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
I'm not going to argue with you. Right well, when
I think, you know, when we talk about alike things,
I mean just something as simple as going to the
grocery store together. I don't personally like to shop like
I used to. This man loves it, but he wants
to do it together and we enjoy Yeah, just just
to go around the corner to the grocery store. That

(37:40):
is the most enjoyable thing for him. And and there's
many days I'd be like I really don't want to go,
but to be together and to do it together, we
have so much fun. And so when you think about
how much you enjoy things like and most people think
may think that this is corny. That's not corny for
us to be able to go to the store. And
we have really have taken a point where we said,

(38:03):
you know, we sat down, like we can't just keep
doing for everybody else, you know, being married, newly married,
everybody's gravitating to you. They want you here, they want
you there. We're constantly on the road and we're not. Yeah,
And so it's been really wonderful to know that every
day I'm waking up with a man who truly wants
to be with me, and I can, you know, catch

(38:25):
him run around the house here, just something as small
as doing the laundry. I'm like, where are you at?
What are you doing over there? I'm doing the laundry
right now?

Speaker 3 (38:34):
Do you know?

Speaker 1 (38:34):
It's ten three? Like, just still doing the laundry. That's
his thing. So I've had to learn to take a
step back because those are the things I was used
to doing for myself, and realizing that we are so
much alike on just the little idobye things, but even
the bigger things to that we've accomplished and just are
I don't know, we haven't even married a year. Where
we're at what ten twelve? I can't rememberund me months

(38:56):
we've been, right, everything is going so fast as eight
but it's been eight months, yes, do I n nine months? Right? So,
but when you think about how quickly all of this
has come about and the things that we gravitated to,
not even even though we've worked together, but getting to

(39:16):
know each other outside of that work life. We really
have found how much we are alike in the things
we enjoy to do, just having conversations that I can
never have with anybody else as another male, and.

Speaker 5 (39:28):
I feed off of the things that she's never been
exposed to, like pantone.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
Which still kills me.

Speaker 4 (39:37):
You don't know what that is.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
They probably had, but that doesn't mean.

Speaker 4 (39:47):
It's an Italian guy who makes he's not knowing the
Italian cake, the fruitcake.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
The fruitcake, the Italian fruitcake.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
Oh my god, you're you're the Roman Catholic. I'm the Jew.
Why do I know it?

Speaker 3 (40:01):
Jedi? You're a Jedi. Don't worry.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
I was in the Catholic. It doesn't matter. That's right,
it doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
House.

Speaker 1 (40:12):
Okay, we had that nasty guess fruit cake that I
refuse exactly. You had these little jelly oh gosh. Anyway,
all right, so what we're gonna do is that, you know,
we're gonna take a quick break, you guys, and we
will be back shortly and we're going to tune back
in and give you some more of our reveal. And

(40:34):
of course the reveal is about New Year's resolutions. Do
you make them believe in them? Or do you stick
with them? We'll be back shortly. All right, everybody, we
are back from our break. Who it was a delicious break,
Shall I say thank you very much? Good family. Absolutely,

(40:58):
we need to take our quick dinner break, you guys,
because you know time has been going quickly and be like,
you know what we need to eat. So we're back,
and of course we're still going to talk about our
un veiled conversations here. You know, we're still focusing on
the New Year's resolutions. Do we make them believe in them?
Or do we stick with them? So we've had some

(41:19):
real cannon conversation overall about what we each focus on
and what we think a goal is versus a resolution
vice versa. I don't necessarily think that they have to
be called resolutions. I think we've all kind of come
to that conclusion that it's not really about a resolution
as much as is as an independent goal that we

(41:39):
all feel like we have for ourselves and we need
to reach. So we talked, we have talked a lot
about individuals goals. Let's focus on what we do as
a family or as partners. How do we how do
we bring that into the fold as a resolution or
a goal. Interesting crickets right, like I'm making y'all think

(42:04):
you are thinking after wow? All right, hold on, I
guess guests, get you started. I need protein? Is allowed?

Speaker 4 (42:20):
Is not Thanksgiving or Christmas? There's no itis?

Speaker 1 (42:24):
No itis? Yes, a little just a little bit. That's enough,
thank you?

Speaker 5 (42:31):
You know what.

Speaker 4 (42:32):
I have an answer as y'all are sitting here having
like the hyaens, I do have an answer for you,
all right. As a couple, we have to accept certain
things and whether or not it's you know, maybe Chris
has a friend I don't particularly care for. I have
a friend he doesn't particularly care for.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
More importantly, it's.

Speaker 4 (42:55):
The holidays always remind me about patience.

Speaker 3 (42:58):
M hmm, like patients in hospital, patients like, yes, patience.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
So I love because the three of you know me
so well.

Speaker 4 (43:12):
You know I am the least patient person walking this planet.
I don't have patience for stupidity. I don't have patience
for ignorance. I do not have patience for people who
just want to try me, because there's a whole lot
of fuck around find out and I get that and
I own that.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
That's say, my favorite saying is of twenty twenty four. Okay,
that's it, fuck around and find out that's right. Excellent.
And it's.

Speaker 4 (43:41):
One of those things where as a couple we need
to learn patience with people that we might not necessarily
be so patient with, whether that's family or otherwise. Also,
tolerance for difference. I tolance for difference is something that

(44:02):
we and I get it right.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
So we're setting our ways as we are.

Speaker 4 (44:08):
I don't have tolerance for people who are nasty to
service workers. And as a couple, Chris and I will
sit there and without even speaking, and.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
This is something that we just do.

Speaker 4 (44:21):
We'll start giving each other the eye, like you know
when you and carm I have that look right that
you're like, I'm gonna jack this chick up.

Speaker 1 (44:28):
See it happens, It happens.

Speaker 4 (44:32):
It's one of those things where I will have to
hold myself back, and as a couple, I want him
to hold me back as well. Otherwise it's it could
get nasty and doesn't matter who is with it could
be a family. Love my family, love my family, bless
their hearts. But there are times where you're just like no,

(44:55):
And as a couple, our space is our space. We
need to definitely focus on how do we make ourselves
more patient with people. I continually fail at this, but
he does really well. I would say, But if we
had to pick one who's more patient with things as
a couple, it would be you or me.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
Oh yeah, that's definitely him over me any day. Twice
on a Saturday. Oh absolutely absolutely. You know you two
are very quiet. Yeah, what's going on in those minds?

Speaker 5 (45:26):
I'm trying. I see what you're talking about. I've seen
it right, Yes, I do have a lot of patience.

Speaker 3 (45:34):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (45:36):
She sometimes says, I don't know how you put up
with that, right, And it's just I don't know, years
of conditioning that you.

Speaker 3 (45:43):
Don't really forget.

Speaker 5 (45:46):
And sometimes I get to the point where I'm trying
to explain why why do you feel that way?

Speaker 1 (45:57):
I understand it.

Speaker 5 (45:58):
But you shouldn't feel that way and try to change
the way someone reacts or thinks about a situation. And
I stop myself because that's not really what you want
to hear. What you want to hear is it's okay
to be different, It's okay to have an opinion, it's okay.

Speaker 3 (46:16):
To be off the walls. Sometimes if you want to be.

Speaker 5 (46:20):
But it's not for me to change that, right, right,
It's there to listen and let you go through the process.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
So are you similar in that way? Also? See that again?
Are you similar in that way? Also? We are to
some degree, but I'm a little bit more forefront about it.
I always have learned, I guess through past relationships and
past friendships where when you find yourself where people constantly
gravitate to you, you have a tendency. They want you
to be the hero, they want you to be their savior. Yes,

(46:51):
and you have to learn how to back off from
that and allow yourself to say, I don't want to
deal with this right now. That can't be your savor today.
And so when I see him do that, that's our
a lot of our similar tendencies, And I sometimes fussin
them about it because I'm like, you're putting too much
energy into that where it's not the focus of on us.

(47:17):
The focus is too much on everything else and everybody else, right,
and so it sometimes can overtake his time, his personality,
Everything is focused on that one thing, and like you
gotta walk away. There's got to be times where you
just have to say enough is enough. I don't want
to deal with this today. And and and even though
we laugh and call him father Pashi, people, in my

(47:37):
mind and in their minds, they really believe that he
is that person. Undred persons. They run to him for
everything and the wear and tear that they don't see.
I get to see and get to feel and get
to hear, and I can you know, can He can't
even see it sometimes because he's just so used to
just being there for everybody. But at this end of

(47:58):
the day, we both that happened. I've learned, little boy.
Little has taken me years to let that go. But
I'm not one hundred percent there yet on that because it's,
like you said, it's conditioning things we've been doing all
our lives. When people constantly come to you like I
would laugh, and I would always say to you when
you were at the office, I'm not gonna come boy,
you come talk to you unless you I know you,

(48:21):
because I would literally see people lined up at your
door like little kids. I'm like, what is going on
over here that you have to stand by the door?

Speaker 3 (48:31):
Scar?

Speaker 1 (48:32):
Yeah, for goten minutes. We're talking long periods of time
because for whatever reason, they feel like they got to
get it out of their system, not realizing that you
don't know how much pressure that they're putting on you,
and that how they're draining you, and that you know,
I'm a I'm the person that's always trying to stand
outside the door and look in, so to speak, through

(48:54):
the window. Right. So it's just that thing about, you know,
when we think about our resolutions, and I don't even
know if we really make a resolution, but I always
feel like I need you to know I'm always here.
I got your back, right, you don't have to do
this by yourself anymore. I'm here. I think that's a
great way to put it.

Speaker 2 (49:14):
Is.

Speaker 4 (49:14):
You know, in the military, you say I got you six.
I have no question in my mind that for all
the years of Chris and I have been together, even
when we were dating, I knew he would always have
my back. And I know he knows, at least I
make the it's not even assumption. I know he knows
that there's nothing that can happen that I wouldn't have

(49:37):
his back. And when I think about as the years
are coming ahead of us, you know, again, let's look
at this to our listeners, we're not kids we're not
young kids, we're not just starting out.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
We are people who.

Speaker 4 (49:54):
Are and during that stage of life where now we're
not gonna be on the Hey, I'm not going to
see him for ten hours a day because I got
an hour tom meet to work, eight hour shift and
an hour commute home. No, the majority of our time
is going to spend together. So going back to your
initial question, what resolution do we do together to love

(50:14):
each other, to find that path of unconditional acceptance, regardless
as to you know, flipping him off but when he's
not looking, or him giving me the FU when I'm
not looking, or the.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
No, that's not how it happened, right, right, we don't.

Speaker 4 (50:31):
We don't get that drop the flag and watch the
videotape moments in real life?

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Right that we should do that.

Speaker 4 (50:38):
We could ring in the house so we can like
record everything.

Speaker 3 (50:43):
My lord, this is really what happens. What happened, This
is really what happens.

Speaker 4 (50:49):
So for two people with PTSD and TBI is we
do have those moments where he's like, no, this is
what happened. I'm like, no, it didn't, Yes it did.
Or I'll be like this is what happen and He's like, no, Jen,
that's not And I'm like, for the love of Christ
or whomever.

Speaker 3 (51:05):
Can we all agree to disagree.

Speaker 4 (51:10):
Where it's like, okay, let me impart patience because I'm
not going to try to win an argument that there's
not gonna win. So yeah, you know, unconditional love has
to be something that you work on together, unconditional acceptance
of each other. That doesn't count for all human beings
in the world right.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
Right, and it is, it's and it's an everyday thing
because we're still learning that, you know, being so being
newly weds and learning each other. And it's funny because
when he gets in his moments and I've had my
moments and he knows I'm a type person and be like,
you say nothing to me, just I just shut down.
And I've learned he does the same thing, but we
just do it differently, right, And so we just have

(51:52):
had we have learned that you know, what we say
we need to say, we'll walk away from it. And
we're never angry at each other, you know, And and
that true saying of you never go to bed angry,
that is one thing we never do.

Speaker 3 (52:06):
You know.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
There's nothing in this household that's that damn important that
you know that we have to fuss at each other
at the point where we can't communicate.

Speaker 4 (52:14):
So I will say we've gone to bed angry at
each other for days, not just unknight nights on end.
Oh god, Yeah, yeah, there have been times where and yes,
I noticed it more during COVID than anything else, which

(52:36):
I would come to say, quite honestly, as I'm sitting
here thinking about it, I became a functional alcoholic during COVID,
Like I was drinking every single night and park it
because of work. I'm not gonna lie, and I don't
take those words lightly either. Yes, I was drinking a
lot quite often and perfectly capable to function, but we

(52:56):
would get on each other's nerves because he was doing
his thing, I was doing my thing, and then the
disagreements would come out the little things he really wouldn't
pay attention to normally. And as I sit here and
I think back on it, I am so sorry that
I was such a shit turd to you at times.
Like It's one of those things where you grow from experience,

(53:21):
and that was definitely one of those experiences where it's
taken years to get to a point where I can
look back and say.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
Wow, you know what I should have been better? Could
have been better?

Speaker 4 (53:31):
Now in twenty twenty five, I'm going to make it
a point to be cognizant because I've identified it, and
as a couple, we can do better.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
See. I think.

Speaker 2 (53:41):
The one thing with Jen and she will contest to
this as she absolutely I don't even know if she
hates it or she envies it, is that I have
learned after twenty years in the Army, six combat deployments,
almost taking my life multiple times, being a functioning alcoholic

(54:06):
for most of my military career, and just being a downright.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
Ass if you will, that.

Speaker 2 (54:15):
When I started getting through my therapy, that I learned
one solid thing, and that one thing was is not
to let anyone or anything get on my nerves about anything,
and when it comes to things like and even family,
like at this point in my life, like I don't

(54:37):
get time for people to act like children, and I
will not let it affect me. So like when we're
going back to the whole work thing, three o'clock, I'm out.
You want me to do a meeting during when I'm
supposed to have my lunch, I will bring my lunch
into that meeting, I don't care, and I'm gonna tell
you now, I mean, god it. I love my buddy

(54:58):
to death doing I'm gonna doing this job to help
my buddy out. But I want to tell people like
you are causing people to have heart attacks, You are
causing people to leave, And in my life, I'm much
rather just come home to my wife and have an
argument with my wife.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
And then be like, Okay, we're done, move on.

Speaker 4 (55:22):
So to answer his question, I envy him for being
able to be like a duck on with the water,
roll right off your back.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
I'm not that person.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
Don't get in a poe because I'll shoot it.

Speaker 4 (55:33):
And I don't know if it's geographical or not, but
I find more people or people that I know in
the Northeast hold on to that stuff.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
More than people I don't know. I don't think it's geographical.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (55:48):
I only speak to it as geographical because I look,
I grew up in Brooklyn, moved to New Jersey, came
out here. I can only go geographical in Brooklyn. Nothing,
everything festers, nothing gets resolved, and it's like one day
you're all friends and the next day you've got to slash.

Speaker 1 (56:09):
In your tires, yep, forever forever, don't.

Speaker 2 (56:13):
I don't even think it's like for me, I don't
think it's geographical. I think it's more of like, you know,
we talk about patients, right, like I will, and this
is a whole separate podcast, but I will, Like I'll
just say this, like our law enforcement agencies have absolutely
their training is garbage.

Speaker 5 (56:32):
Right.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
So a lot of these eighteen nineteen year old kids
who get eighteen weeks of law enforcement training but only
two weeks of marksmanship and you send them out into
the combat zone of you know, the daily streets, they
have no patience. So it's like they're always at it.
Now with twenty years of experienced, six.

Speaker 1 (56:49):
Combat deployments on my belt.

Speaker 2 (56:50):
And I'm not gloating, I'm just saying it's like I've learned, like, hey,
it's gonna happen. Today might be the day I get
blown up. Tomorrow I might not. Tomorrow might get shot
at tomorrow, might not, I might get a cniper shot.
I don't know it's gonna happen, but hey, just let
it happen, and when it does, you deal with it
tactical patience.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
You gotta just roll with it and let it happen. Girl,
you have patience. I know. I'm from the Midwest, so
it doesn't matter where you're from. I definitely, but I
my patience is very thin, and you're right, and I
can only get to buy here and then I'm done.
A part of it, too, is because I think a

(57:32):
party have been raised, and I was always raised that.
You know, you don't have time to sit there and
fester and and waddle in your pity. You know, you
get your moment and you move on. And so when
I see a lot of this whining and crying about
stuff that really is not even necessary, it does drive
me crazy.

Speaker 3 (57:52):
You know.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
It's the things that most people may not pay attention
to or think that's important. I'm thinking to myself, what
you whined about? That's supposed to come in here and
go to work? Right, Okay, you tell us, now we
only have eight you get eight hours. Well you know what,
I'm gonna start start living that standard. You get eight
hours from me, and after eight hours, it's time to
get the helup out of here.

Speaker 3 (58:12):
Right.

Speaker 1 (58:13):
So it's it's it's the attitude that people give you sometimes,
and yet it makes me angry because I come from
a time frame where, like we were saying earlier, you know,
you worked, and you just keep working, and you keep
working and you do what you're supposed to do. But
at the same token, as you become your own individual
and you start to grow, what do you? What are you?

(58:34):
I'm sorry when you went off your attention about eight hours.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
The only thing I had in the back of my
head was Doge, you know, like somebody needs to like,
let Doge know, you know, And if anybody doesn't know
what I'm talking about, I got it. I'm just gonna say,
the Department of Government Efficiency eight hours, Jack, that's what
you're getting in the fact that we found a.

Speaker 4 (58:53):
New department that needs two people to run it. Let's
not get me started, shall we. Okay, then moving along.

Speaker 1 (58:59):
Moving alone, move But but you know it's funny even
just across the board, you know, you start you hear
more and more people talking about if you want to
kind of go down the road of the piss poor
management and not realize knowing how to communicate with your
staff and not understanding that one one thing is not
the one trick. Pony doesn't work for everybody. It's all

(59:19):
about and it's not about patients. It's about understanding your surroundings.
Knowing what works best for everybody does not work. That
one thing doesn't work for everybody.

Speaker 4 (59:28):
So find yourself, like venting to each other on the
drive home.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
We do for about what fifteen minutes maybe yeah, And
then when we're done, we're done.

Speaker 5 (59:38):
It's hard when you leave the workplace, it's it's it's
just fresh in your mind and you're saying, look what
this asshole was doing, and it's like you need to vent,
and it's all over.

Speaker 1 (59:50):
It's like yeah, and then we move on with our eating.
But and I know for him, I know he needs
to get it out because you know. And then too,
when you think about all the years you've been by yourself,
you had no nobody toovent to, and I would I
would put all the pressure on my family, my son,
my parents, you know, my friends, and it wasn't fair,
you know, but that's who all I had. Or either

(01:00:13):
you're sitting around here crazy thinking about all this stuff
all the time. And then of course when you're in
a business for yourself, it's even more pressure. Right, other
people depend on you. And then every day you're sitting
there and making sure that you're not starving, that you
can pay your bills, that you could take care of
all the roles and responsibility you said you're gonna do,
because that's the pressure put up. But it doesn't give

(01:00:33):
you a right to be an ass either. It doesn't
give you the right to not how to know how
to manage your time and manage the people that you
depend on and to be around. That's a lot of
the lacking that we have overall society, as well as
just Center office on a daily basis. The so called
morale it shit's been gone because nobody wanted to pay

(01:00:54):
attention to it until it's too late. I trust absolutely.
Once you lose somebody's trust, it's gonna take too much.
It's gonna take a long time to rebuild that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:04):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (01:01:05):
So as a couple, as a couple, as a couple,
you guys have that ability to vent to each other.

Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
Yeah, a lot of the majority of people don't work together,
right I think we happen to Yeah exactly.

Speaker 5 (01:01:18):
Yeah, So usually when you don't work together, when you
when you start venting, it's it's like a contest.

Speaker 1 (01:01:27):
My my action.

Speaker 5 (01:01:30):
What I confronted today is much worse than yours, and
it becomes a contest like, oh really that this is
what I went through.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
It's it's like and it shouldn't be that, No, I
should not.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
It's very funny you say it like that. Now that
proves a theory to myself as as one of my
goals that I had for twenty four that I will
continue into twenty twenty five, Like I don't want to
have a contest with whose day was worse or better.
So like when she asked me how your day was,
like whatever, it's like, I don't want to talk about

(01:02:02):
it because I know how it was absolutely horrible. There's
no morale, there's no you know, a spread of cord.
There's no nothing in our in the organization that we
partake in. You know, I don't want to I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
Want to.

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
Waste my time spending eight hours a day when I
should be doing something productive talking about clothes, talking about food,
talking about you know, people's parents, their sister, how they're crazy,
so on and so forth. It's like, that's not that's
not what they we're there for, you know, And I
got it, Oh yeah, it's yeah, And don't I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
You want to know is who you've been talking to
Oh no.

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
That was just just something that's random. It's like, well,
you know from experience at I've heard it all from everyone,
fear and it's just like I when I come home,
I'm home. That place does not exist in my mind
after eight hours?

Speaker 1 (01:03:00):
Have you all ever just sat? We can go an hour,
two hours without even talking to each other. Yeah, we
did that quite a bit because time he's on the
end of the couch with his honors rapping at the
end of the day.

Speaker 5 (01:03:16):
Yeah, it's getting worse lately because it's it's it's mentally exhausting,
and it turns into a physical exhaustion because it takes
its toll, right, and then you get into this comfort
spot like okay, you just had dinner and you're sitting
on the couch and you're relaxing, and.

Speaker 3 (01:03:34):
It's like out.

Speaker 5 (01:03:37):
It's like your body shuts down because now it needs
to refresh the At two o'clock in the morning, you're
up and saying, I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
Want to go to work in the morning. It's like,
because look what I gotta go. You're starting all over again.
So yeah repeat, So.

Speaker 5 (01:03:53):
Yeah, it's it's difficult and I don't want to be
that way fair? Uh, you know, and and and when
you talk about you know, resolutions, think things, things that
go through my mind is change my environment, right, yeah, yeah, amen.
And it's like there's nothing that can't be changed in that,
it's just the willingness to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:16):
So now going back to something you said earlier about
being financially stable and changing your environment, just things like that, like.

Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
Do y'all feel like you could do that?

Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
Like do you think you could do where it's like,
I don't want to do this anymore today, and I
just want to be done with you people, but still
be able to be like, I'm going to be happy
with that decision.

Speaker 5 (01:04:40):
I think I've been there several times. Because it's either
you like the people you work with, you respect the
people you work with. When those two things start to
float away, it doesn't matter. Then you could always say,
oh I like the work I do, which is bullshit, right.
It's always the people you work with, the camaraderie you have,

(01:05:03):
the relationships you have, right, And it's not it's not
the work. If you're saying, oh I like the work
you do, but I hate the people, it's it's time.

Speaker 3 (01:05:14):
It's time to make a change. And that's that's just
my opinion of things.

Speaker 5 (01:05:18):
So you know, whereas you know I had I have
or I have had a date in mind for when
I don't want to do you know this anymore, it's
it's slowly moving or actually rapidly moving closer and closer,

(01:05:40):
because it's it's you know, I don't I don't really
feel like no matter how what your accomplishments are, and
they may be many, and it will continue to be
many because I think that, you know, I I bring value.
That's what's going But at some point you got to
say to me, how much value is worth the aggravation

(01:06:01):
and the toll it takes on the lifestyles, you know,
the family, the life, work, the work balance that happens between.

Speaker 2 (01:06:10):
YouTube or in the situation that we were in before
where your work and your home and you're working home,
it's all the same, the same.

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
That's right. Twenty four to seven. Yeah, right, and we
you know, we've talked a little bit about that the change.
That's how different that's going to look, especially for him absolutely,
you know, and for me, I'll still continue to move
on for a little bit longer. But it's like trying
to deal with that new balance. You know, but even

(01:06:44):
when I think about the environment, when you talk about
changing the environment, that's going to be absolute for me.
It's not about not liking the work. I like the work.
It's the nonsense I don't I can't deal with. But
after a while you get tired of the not even
so much bureaucracy. It's the bullshit. Let's just put it
on the table, okay. I mean, you know you're gonna

(01:07:06):
do with bureaucracy no matter where you go, but it's
how it's handled. And I think that's where you know,
I'm at that point in life where you know, I
have nothing else to prove. I know, if I wasn't
doing my job, I wouldn't be here anyway, bottom line.
So it just kind of gets to the point where
you start to think about those things that are important,

(01:07:27):
and what's most important is having my time with my family,
my surrounding family, and it's not about just blood, all
my family and of course my husband. You know, we're
to have some difference in your age, so you know,
I want to be able to spend that time with
him that he deserves to have and you know, eventually, yeah,
I'll catch up with you to be able to do

(01:07:49):
it full time, but still to be able to make
certain choices. Like we were talking earlier, it's about making
those choiceses about having that piece. It's about understanding about
what's best and what I can control. I know I
can control that part.

Speaker 4 (01:08:02):
And there's nothing to say that change shouldn't be a
resolution for twenty five You mentioned about wanting to spend
time with Carmine. We used to call it our bubble, right,
We used to spend time in our bubble, and I
never wanted anyone to pop our bubble, not that we
lived in some grandiose, fictitious and world.

Speaker 1 (01:08:22):
It was.

Speaker 4 (01:08:23):
I don't know what your negativity is that you're going
to bring to us, And this is so special, I
don't want you tarnishing it. And there were people, quite
a few people that we have deliberately removed from our lives,
people who I would have told you, quite frankly that

(01:08:45):
I would have fought side by side next to who.
Because of either selfishness or just pettiness, I could not
and we could not continue to maintain friendships relationships with them.

Speaker 1 (01:09:01):
I don't want to hear about the drama djure.

Speaker 4 (01:09:05):
I want to hear about how are you?

Speaker 1 (01:09:07):
How are you happy today?

Speaker 3 (01:09:09):
Right?

Speaker 4 (01:09:09):
Like, what is something that made you happy today?

Speaker 5 (01:09:11):
Like?

Speaker 4 (01:09:13):
These are the things that we as I don't think
we focus on as much as we need.

Speaker 2 (01:09:17):
To, but we also do that on a daily basis.
And I say that because when we ask each other like, hey,
how is your day, and then you and people we
all go off on a tangent about how much it sucked.
I've done this to her.

Speaker 1 (01:09:33):
I was like, so, how was your day?

Speaker 3 (01:09:35):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:09:35):
Because I'm trying to get at the point where it's like,
you haven't told me was it good or bad?

Speaker 4 (01:09:40):
But I expect so okay, So I expect you to
understand that if I'm telling you all the ship stuff, right.

Speaker 1 (01:09:45):
But at the same token, every there's something good out
of every day. And the key thing is the number
one thing is we woke up today to be able
to put up with the ship. But at the same token,
you want to slide that off. I mean, like, so
there's always some positiveness, it's just about finding it and
laying in that happiness that a lot of times we

(01:10:06):
do forget. We do because there's so much the heaviness
of the world that we carry and we and we
carry everywhere you go. And then you were starting to realize,
is this really all that I have to say? Is
this really what life is about you? And you look
at your partner and you're still looking at that person.
You're thinking, oh god, there's so much more.

Speaker 2 (01:10:26):
Yeah, the negativity brings exactly you, but everyone else.

Speaker 1 (01:10:30):
Everyone else around you exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
So like even like today, you know, today was I
went out this morning to go hunting, right, and my
goal was to be able to do something to provide
for my family being Jen, the doggoes and anybody else
who wants to partake it in the in the stuff.
And it it sucked, like it was absolutely a horrible day,

(01:10:55):
didn't get anything. I froze my feet off. It took
another good froze my feet off, literally froze my feet
off almost It took me about two and a half
hours to get feeling back on my feet. But again,
the one thing that I did, one thing that came
out all that is I got to see a beautiful
sunrise again. And it's always more special to see it

(01:11:17):
when you're out in the woods or on the water
or whatever it.

Speaker 1 (01:11:19):
Is, at least for me.

Speaker 2 (01:11:20):
But I learned something again today about being out there.
It's like, oh, this is something to think about, you know,
things like that. I got to think about something with her,
you know, I got to think about something with this podcast,
got to think about something.

Speaker 1 (01:11:33):
With our future endeavors.

Speaker 5 (01:11:34):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:11:36):
My whole mind was on something her and I've been
talking about with, like seeing other places in the United States.
Those those that was what I got at today, Not
the fact that I did not come home with a deer.
You know, yeah, Okay, it happens, but it's been a
hard season. But that that my my thing out of

(01:11:59):
it today was like, hey, yeah, I got all the
good things out of it that I wanted to Today's
that's interesting.

Speaker 3 (01:12:08):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:12:08):
So if we look at like twenty twenty five, there
was good things that happened today. We all got to
see each other, we got to break bread together, we
got to come together.

Speaker 2 (01:12:20):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:12:21):
To some people that might not mean something, but and
I think it's especially hard to have these in these moments.

Speaker 1 (01:12:29):
The older you get.

Speaker 4 (01:12:31):
Yeah, when you're young and your kids are in school,
it's easy to make friends because your friends become your
kids friends' parents, right, and you all just go through
life together and cool. But as an older person, you
don't have those relationships. And if you're not a member

(01:12:51):
of a group or an organization of some form, finding
those relationships becomes more challenging. So I want to go
back to do is there another resolution I would like
to make in twenty twenty five. It's not a resolution,
it's something I just want to do. I want to
focus on the happy I do. I want to focus

(01:13:12):
on what it means to wake up every morning and say,
and this is something. This morning I woke up and
he had gone out, and I was like, you know what, Lord,
thank you for returning my soul to me. I'm gonna
have a good day, please, Like Chris get a deer, Amen, And.

Speaker 1 (01:13:36):
I mean that's got its own prayer. But I mean
that that does have its own about that him and I.

Speaker 4 (01:13:46):
But even moments with the dogs, right like those are
anytime you want a dog to practice for your retirement, dog.

Speaker 2 (01:13:58):
To help you.

Speaker 1 (01:14:00):
But I think it's a couple we also need to
do that.

Speaker 4 (01:14:03):
You need to focus on the happy, absolutely, absolutely, So
what's your focus? What's your couple goal? My couple goal,
don't tell you a lot of kids. No, no, no,
it's it's it's good that you say that, because it's.

Speaker 5 (01:14:22):
The resolution, your goal, or whatever you want to talk
about for New Years is. It's not it should not
be about you. It should be about the people you.

Speaker 3 (01:14:33):
Surround yourself with.

Speaker 5 (01:14:34):
Amen, and and the happiness you can bring to others
as they can bring to you. So those are the
really important things. So what what I was writing down
here is whatever you want to call it, you know,
a new Year's resolution, a bucket list, a determination of verdict,
or a decision that you make.

Speaker 3 (01:14:53):
For the new year.

Speaker 1 (01:14:56):
I like verdict.

Speaker 5 (01:14:58):
I swear I will never do this again, right, because
you can swear all you want you're gonna do this
thing again. It's it should be a promise to yourself
to do something better for yourself, for maybe others in
your life, and mostly for others in your life. Uh.
You know, traditional resolutions are good for some people, but
choose a resolution that enhances you and enriches your your

(01:15:21):
own life as well as others within your life.

Speaker 1 (01:15:24):
So that's what my preach resolution to.

Speaker 3 (01:15:31):
Make to.

Speaker 5 (01:15:33):
Do that for others, you know, enrich my life as
well as others.

Speaker 4 (01:15:37):
So you will now be the official close out of
this podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:15:40):
Absolutely yes, yes.

Speaker 3 (01:15:43):
Two for two.

Speaker 1 (01:15:43):
There you go for two, and you still got the
other one to do before we actually officially close out,
which we were getting. I've already done mine. You're gonna
get somebody else to do there. Oh no, you you're
a man. It's too late. It's too late. It's on you.
Bless him with that. But we are definitely getting close
to being now, and I will you know, I always

(01:16:04):
love everybody to go around the room and just kind
of give that last word, that last moment that you
may want to say before we say good night to
the people out there listening to us. Is there anything
you want to say?

Speaker 4 (01:16:16):
Yeah, because I've never won short for words. Happy twenty
twenty five and to everybody, be kind, be loving, and.

Speaker 1 (01:16:30):
Just be true to yourselves and each other. You're thinking hard,
you're thinking.

Speaker 3 (01:16:38):
No, Actually, I.

Speaker 5 (01:16:40):
Know.

Speaker 2 (01:16:41):
I actually love what carry said about enriching other people's.

Speaker 1 (01:16:46):
Lives, and.

Speaker 2 (01:16:49):
I think that is going to be the twenty twenty
five goal for myself and gen to be able to
enrich people's lives and what.

Speaker 1 (01:17:04):
Virginia has to offer.

Speaker 2 (01:17:07):
Nice am, We're gonna We're gonna swing swing back with
that later in the in the Future podcast. Year, But
personally for myself, I would say that there's been a
lot of hatred and past years and we need to

(01:17:30):
stop it and we need to get back to like
actually enjoying each other, you know, love thy neighbor and
enjoying each other's company, whether it's by yourself or with
your loved one or loved ones.

Speaker 1 (01:17:42):
And don't be a ship. Well then you really really
feel that's all I got. And I'm just gonna say,
I'm gonna pick it back a little bit on the enriching.
You know, everybody kind of pulled that out of what
you had said, My dear hubby. No, it was the

(01:18:03):
verdict part I liked.

Speaker 3 (01:18:07):
I just went and I I did.

Speaker 5 (01:18:09):
What the the synonym is for your resolution? It could
be a verdict that I will not do this ever again.
And you know it's easy to say that, but you know,
habits are really hard to break. That is so so
whatever you want to call it, it's disguised as a resolution, right,
good word, and it's it's really a promise to yourself,

(01:18:31):
is what it should be. I promise not to be
a dick right easily shed or ship and easily said
said than done. Right, But whatever that resolution is it
should be something that makes you you a better person
and makes others see you as a better person and
helps them in a way.

Speaker 1 (01:18:51):
To be like you.

Speaker 4 (01:18:52):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (01:18:53):
So that's that's my clothes out.

Speaker 1 (01:18:56):
Oh I thought you didn't have another.

Speaker 3 (01:19:01):
Start.

Speaker 1 (01:19:02):
I see that. I don't think you're done yet. But
you know, just like as as I say, just to
kind of utilize the and think about the word of enriching,
I think that the most important part is you have
to enrich yourself before you can enrich others. Bottom line,
there you go, and every day that you're awake, alive, moving, breathing,

(01:19:24):
be thankful for it because every day we've learned about
somebody that is no longer here or as on the
cuss four, or is going through some things in life. So,
you know, enriching yourself to enrich others I think is
the most important part. Because if you're not happy and
you know nowhere direction you're going in and you're leading

(01:19:44):
down a path of hatred, or you're leading down the
path of ignorance, or you're leading down the path or
whatever that might be, you cannot help anybody else till
you help yourself. There you go, So twenty twenty five.
As we've talked, we know it's about a new year.
We're in that new year. So whether you made that resolution,
whether you believe that resolution, or whether you're gonna stick

(01:20:06):
with that resolution is gonna be up to you. Bottom line.

Speaker 4 (01:20:10):
What if it's like character and what you do and
nobody's looking, what are you gonna do and nobody's gonna
look to know if you made a resolution.

Speaker 1 (01:20:17):
That's right. So we have come to the end of
the show. Ladies and gentlemen, all of our peeps out
there listening to us, we hope you enjoyed another night
with us here on Unveiled and has been a great,
great evening. Like we said, the fellowship is probably the
most important with family here. We just we're just happy

(01:20:39):
that we get the opportunity to be able to speak
to all of you. If there's anything you would like
to know more about us, or you would like to
become a guest with us and hang out and talk
about what we're talking about when we're revealing things and
then on our show, just reach out reach out to
me if you like at Kimberly dot WSBI LC at
gmail dot com. Again, that's Kimberly vsbi at LLC at

(01:21:01):
gmail dot com and the course for you want more
of your Resource for success or Unbailed podcast show. We
do take monetary donations to support the podcast. We accept
those through cash app, PayPal, good Pots, tipjar, or you
can go directly to the website at wwwwsbi LC dot com.
All this information will be on the notes section so
that you can review it and reach out to us.

(01:21:23):
As I said again, we'd like to thank you all
for listening to us tonight. We'll be back next month
on a Thursday evening at seven pm. Be sure to
follow us on iHeartRadio, speaker, YouTube, or wherever you listen
to your podcasts. But until then, enjoy the rest of
the evening and goodnight, good night bye

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