Then Verses Now

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What are we revealing tonight! Then and Now

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good evening. Welcome to Unveiled, where all conversations are safe, revealing,
and uncuffed. Tonight's show is partnered with Sage and Soil,
Jen Java's photography and sponsored by w s b I LLC,
your resource.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
For success podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
We are your hosts Jenny and Chris Chavez and Carmine
and Cam Passion.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello, Hello.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Morning, a little.

Speaker 4 (00:30):
Dark for around with you the evening time.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
Wow, how's your day?

Speaker 2 (00:36):
He's still stuck in time time exact.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Its not just me.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
Okay, guys, Hey, good to see you.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
Always good to see you, guys, y'all. A pleasure to
be at the table and have these wonderful conversations and
all the revealing stuff that we do we're.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Really chat about. Yeah, so how is your labor day?
Let's let me just ask. Did you have a good time? Yeah,
we didn't do anything. We don't travel on. No laboring. No,
the only labor we're doing, right, no laboring. I like it.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
I don't think labor day.

Speaker 4 (01:19):
Right, there you go, there you go by my radio.
So there we go, And what about you, guys?

Speaker 5 (01:24):
She put her labor to work, she told Manuel Chavez Senior,
type of niche outside, I put them to where ride
your lawn tractor.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
That's right, get ready for the fall exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
No, I started that in January. He still has other
stuff yesterday.

Speaker 5 (01:39):
Okay, I got my bucket list of items.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
I see what I did there. People, if you've been listening,
the garden then and the garden now.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
So interesting that we say that as we talk about
then and now.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
Before and after, you got to show the picture camera
one camera too, Can we get it?

Speaker 2 (01:58):
Like the reveal game show where they moved the curtain.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
And moved that bus. You're talking about what's his name?
The way they built the house, moved that.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
Yes, yes, yes, but she's talking about there was a
game show back in the day and it's still on,
isn't it.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
They just like, move the curtain. What is the name?
There's the name of the show.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
Everybody on the other end of this is like, it's
this show. Yes, stupid, We'll figure it out.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
We'll come back.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
So interesting Google.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
We're going to talk about things that were and things
that are, and I think this is going to be fun. First,
let's be very transparent with our audience. There is no script,
there is no thing. We're going to focus.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
On its picture. Now where the curtain, like.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
An actual curt A curtain, and there was one doors
right right right, one three one is like I see
a brand new car.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
I mean, you get a car and it's not anyway,
so focusing while he is gpting or whatever.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah, So then and now I thought, I do.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
I think this is gonna be very interesting conversation because
there are so many things that.

Speaker 3 (03:22):
We as prices.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yeah, the price is right.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
And they have the ladies of brand new car. Your
car that is right? Is the price is right? Right?
Is still on?

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (03:38):
Sorry he did my digress. He's gone, but they still
have John Candy.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
John Candy is also dead. Who's the guy that Drew.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Carry Drew carries the new guy. Yes, that's true. Then
and then and now.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
You did an entire iteration of the price is right,
price is right?

Speaker 3 (04:01):
Hosts.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
That's great, cool, my gosh. Anyway, so you know, that's
actually not a bad way to do this, because you're
such a dork. I swear you know.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
We've started watching some of the older TV shows during COVID,
and I think we've had that conversation, right, and these
are things that we just you can't watch today and
have the same appreciation that you did win.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
Like we watched MASH and I grew up my.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Father always in the Korean War, so of course I
had to have, you know, the writing commentary of everything
that was MASH.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
At the time.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
But as a kid, you watch these shows and it
was like, oh, look he calls her hot lips, right,
or other things, or other things like babe and sweetie, or.

Speaker 5 (04:47):
Even worse things like the very first episode of Match.
I had to call my father and that was like, Debt,
now I know why you sent me to bed to
watch MASH. And he said the line without missing a beat.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
I was like, oh my god, It's like, you got
to be kidding me. Dad.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Think of a show when you were a kid that
used to watch, would you watch it now?

Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (05:12):
I would, only because they have a better appreciation, right.
So we were talking earlier and we talked a little
bit about the fact, like you think about the good times,
what's Archie Bunker's.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Family?

Speaker 5 (05:25):
Uh?

Speaker 4 (05:25):
And a few others because during those errors, even Red Fox,
What's What's what? When you think about all of those
different daytime or even time or whatever shows that came on,
we really did not understand a lot of the things
that were being said, But they were reality of who

(05:47):
we are, how we lived, the times, how the times were.
If you were to put them in today, let those
run today, the regular you would be in court every
other minute. So because of the sensitivity of people and
the ignorance of not understanding that it's okay to have
those conversations now you have to struggle sometimes around certain

(06:09):
conversations of like I can remember I think one of
the scenes in Archie Bunker where he had first time
he had a black neighbor that was like, oh my god,
he had a hissy fit, but the communication process of
an understanding that he realized this neighbor was just his neighbor.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
Right.

Speaker 4 (06:25):
But today, if you said it in the manner that
they said it, oh, like I said, we'd be a
court constantly, or there would be an engine going right, Yeah,
somebody would have take issue. Were So you know, we
mentioned Mash but recently we started watching Cheers. How innocuous
the neighborhood bar you've got every.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Day at the end of their day, these regulars go
into a bar because you know, as the theme song says, right,
you want a place where everyone knows your name name,
You want to feel part of a community.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Right, skip a beat and there's Norman from God Rest
the Soul.

Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah, he just passed on.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
So we were watching it and I'm listening to the
way that Sam I can't think.

Speaker 4 (07:11):
Of his name.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Ted Danson speaks to in particular Diane's.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Character played by Shelley Long if I remember her name correctly,
and he is so flipping demeaning to her.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
But at the time it wasn't.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
And yet as I'm listening to it today, I'm like,
oh my god, he is completely dismissive of her intelligence.
He is dismissive of her opinion. He talks about as
they're in this you know, intimate relationship having sex with
other women.

Speaker 3 (07:44):
I'm like, oh my god, what would happen if this.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
Show we're on today, it would nowhere near be as eccessive.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
Well take the other thing, the morning soap operas, which
we got never as children, were you know, ever watched
because because it was stupid. But our I'm sure our
parents watched Days of Our Lives absolutely, and all that
shit that went on there is It's like today, I could.

Speaker 6 (08:10):
Tell you what happened to Stefano Demara and Days of
Our Life is my grandmother, my great grandmother, and my
mother all would watch it and they would VCR and
whip it out at night when my father was doing
whatever he was doing in his studio, and we would
all sit there and watch it.

Speaker 5 (08:27):
It's I mean, it kind of goes along the line.
It's like, you know then versus now night writer, like
everybody's also talking car that drives itself and yeah, you know,
it just has all this cool guy con traps in it.
And then you you're driving down the road and you
look over and you see somebody I'm not naming any
particular vehicle names that starts with a T, but it

(08:49):
has a giant screen and it's like we've seen this before.

Speaker 6 (08:54):
It's this It.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Reminds me of the Jetsons. You ever watched that car? Absolutely?

Speaker 1 (08:58):
I thought it was the coolest thing that they had
a robot that could sweep for you and vacuum for you.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
I thought that was great. And look at what we
have now. But Jane didn't work, No, she didn't. Jane
didn't work. And why was that? Because now women work
for both George and Jane would be working, yes, and
somebody be doing the maid service. Yep.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
Absolutely, but flying cars.

Speaker 3 (09:25):
How crazy.

Speaker 5 (09:26):
Well, I mean like like just just like car, I said,
like then and now with you know, you know, back
then there was a lot of like, hey, the mom
stayed home, dad went to work.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
Now there was a lot of that.

Speaker 5 (09:37):
Nowadays it's like you can't live a life unless both
you have a job.

Speaker 4 (09:43):
Well, but also there's a lot more of the men
staying home and the women are working. The men are
staying home and raising the kids and being you know,
the home provider in that perspective where when I was
coming up, I would I've never seen that, never heard
of that. You were the man of the house and
you were the woman of the house right there. And

(10:04):
then eventually I started to see some things come change,
you know, growing up because you know, I'm a product
of the sixties. Right, so you think about how different
then from then is where it is today, Like you
would never hear to me oftentimes having a house hubby, righty.

Speaker 5 (10:26):
Are just joining this lovely little podcast. I'm sure you
go back and listen to the April episode of Trophy
Husband and you get more.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
Perspective on that. Yeah, actually is one of the best.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
You talk of that like being a product of the sixties, right. So,
as a product of the seventies, my street that I
grew up on, my neighbor to.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
The right of us.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
She did not work, he worked.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
They had three children, significant age gap between their oldest,
and then she had a set of twins my across
the street neighbors. She did not work, he did. It
was a single family income. They had two children. And
then we also had a family move in. They immigrated

(11:10):
here and the mother didn't work. Their grandmother lived with them,
And I thought that was awesome because in my family
it was my great grandmother, my grandmother, my mother, my father,
my sister, and I in one house.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
And I mean yes, it was a.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
Very comfortable house. We had four bet whatever it was.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
But at the time, I always thought it was weird
that both of my parents worked when all of my
neighborhood friends, like their moms were always home. And then
as I got older, in elementary school and middle school
or junior high, whatever you want to call it, it
just became common because more women started coming back into

(11:48):
the workplace in the eighties, and now I would say
it's more uncommon for there to be a stay at
home mom, unless again, change difference you live in this
particular area of Virginia where it's so heavily military, one
of the spouses usually the woman. Still, I would say

(12:12):
it's more common for to be the woman and the
husband is in the military. But you see the moms
at the school bus with the kids, and it's like, Okay,
how are you affording.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
To live on a single income? I couldn't even imagine
doing it now. Yeah, it's definitely times have changed.

Speaker 4 (12:34):
In like I said, even though the verse roles, I've
seeing more men stay home and the women are becoming
the as you want to quote unquote breadwinner. Right, It's
something I had never seen growing up. My parents both worked,
but even then the dynamics were a little different because
you know, my dad was running his business and my
mom she actually works second ship because so that she

(12:56):
could be home for us as the kids and take
care of everything. And then Dad would come off of
his closing the business up, and then he would.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
Run everything at night while she was working. Yep, you know,
with that second shift.

Speaker 4 (13:08):
So it's it's just the timing of I think of
everything and how things used to be. But you know,
I said, I didn't see that very often where either
the parents both parents worked or either I didn't see
money where you just sat at home as a woman.

Speaker 3 (13:24):
You did nothing.

Speaker 4 (13:26):
Not in my life, you know, time obviously it happened,
you know. And then of course too is about money.
If you had the money and if you could afford
to do that, then yes, somebody definitely stayed home, you know,
with the kids all day long. But it's definitely different
error in different time. And it amazes me today when
I watched the dynamics of how people raise their kids.

(13:48):
In my opinion, it's more based off of friendship versus
just raising them as having that balances that.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
Look, there is still the.

Speaker 2 (13:57):
Law over here, okay, and the parents you are the child.
That is. Till this day, I have never forgotten that.

Speaker 4 (14:04):
And even when I go home or even when I'm
talking to my parents, says yes, ma'am, yes sir. And
I'm almost sixty years old, okay, you don't lose that
dynamic of the way. I see certain things that now
I could never think about calling my mother or my
father by their first name.

Speaker 2 (14:21):
Are you kidding? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (14:23):
If I do it, I do it out of a joke.
But it's not when I walk in the house, how
you doing Shirley. You know how you doing, Joe. Yeah,
I wouldn't even give She wouldn't even be able to
get out of my mouth be knocked out the lily
there you go. Oh absolutely, absolutely Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
One of my biggest pet peeves or my parents call
their kid buddy you okay, buddy? Is everything?

Speaker 3 (14:42):
Okay? Buddy? Really?

Speaker 2 (14:44):
When did you become buddies with your kids?

Speaker 3 (14:46):
Right now?

Speaker 2 (14:49):
Then? Now?

Speaker 3 (14:51):
That's that.

Speaker 4 (14:53):
B b broh yeah, or dude. If I ever called
my father dude, I don't I don't know where I
would be at right, I wouldn't even know me.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
I imagine his father bro exactly.

Speaker 5 (15:13):
That's kind of like being in the arm when somebody
used to call me soge. I'm like, I'm sorry, what like,
I'm a what like?

Speaker 3 (15:21):
What what are you talking about?

Speaker 5 (15:22):
I'm like, no, that's not how this works.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
Definitely different relationships and today compared to then.

Speaker 3 (15:32):
Yah. Yeah, well you know I think that. You know,
at the time, people started families young in age, right,
so there was more discipline there. It was just okay,
I'm I'm your father, I'm your mother. There's a respect
hierarchy here, and I don't know if I know today

(15:56):
that they're starting families later on in life, right, So,
oh are they trying to still be a friend. And
that's where the bra and all that other stuff, you know,
buddy and all that stuff came from. I don't, I
don't know, but it's it's it's certainly a culture change
where parents today are feeling like they need to be

(16:21):
more of a friend than a role model. And that
that is, you know, in my eyes, it's just I
see some good in it, because you know, kids can
kids as far as their peers are concerned, can be
very cruel to one another. Right, So you need some

(16:41):
sort of emotional stability, but you don't need you don't
need I'm your friend, and screw screw your other friends
that are picking on your own. I mean you need
to tough either, toughen them up, set an example for
what should be done, but not to the point where
it's like, hey, I'm your buddy, don't worry, everything is okay.
Toddle them and things. And that's where I see. I

(17:05):
don't know if the shift is different today than it
was ten years ago or twenty years ago, where parents
found the need to be helicopters and hover around their
kids all the time and protect them and sometimes you
got to let them learn from the experience. Now, with
all that said, you know that's where you have like

(17:26):
menendezes and stuff like that. So thank you, so so
we always got so dark. I want to come back
to reality. You know, there isn't a secret formula for
that book versus now. There's plenty of books and you could.
You could read them all and you become really confused

(17:47):
and say, okay, I'll pick one and that one is
the wrong one.

Speaker 5 (17:51):
I mean that's like my I mean, everybody here has
been a parent. I'm pretty sure at some point somebody
has been like there's no book on.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
How to raise you or something like that.

Speaker 5 (17:59):
And then like when you grew up, you went to
the bookstore and you're just like, uh hmm, there's.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
Some books here.

Speaker 5 (18:07):
Maybe well, but then realizing it's like no, no matter what,
it's about experiencing life, and like you, you kind of
learn as you go and you fail, then you give
an back up and go again. And I think that's
going back to then and now, like we were taught
at least I know, I was like, hey, you're gonna
the way you learn is by failing there is no

(18:30):
freaking participation trophies. If you came in second, guess what,
you're not exactly. It's like, just because you come in second,
guess what, you're not a winner. Your second place right,
you sit on the lowest podium. The winner is the
one who stands up the tallest. He worked or she
worked over the.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
This yeah today, exactly exactly.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
But that's the problem.

Speaker 4 (18:50):
Though. It does not help them with the reality that
when they're out here on their own, they're no longer
in school or they're no longer at home, and somebody's
patent them on backery five minutes saying, oh you're you know,
you're still a winner.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
The reality is in the real world that when.

Speaker 4 (19:03):
You're working for somebody else, you don't take care of
that responsibility. You're not doing your job, you're not performing
at the level you're supposed to be. In your subpar
they're gonna let you know your subpar, So then what
are you gonna do. That's here's the issue in my opinion,
of why so many people coming out here and they're
killing going on in.

Speaker 2 (19:20):
These offices of killing up people because they didn't have
a good day.

Speaker 4 (19:23):
They woke their ass up on the wrong side of
the bet or they didn't like because Johnny told them,
you're not doing your job. And then now you're all
of a sudden, you have this individual that you say
you've raised, and you're saying yourself, well, what did I
do wrong? You know what where did we go wrong?
Did you do it by raising a person that were
coddling twenty four to seven? Then when they come out
here in the real world, realize that the world's not

(19:45):
coddle Oh.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
I mean exactly.

Speaker 5 (19:48):
I think the best for like an analogy, I would say,
what for you, Kim, And it's like you let the
children go outside and fall down if they get a
scraping brie, don't run over there to like pick them up,
like it's okay, Like people are gonna get cut some bruises.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
Yeah, we've been through that. Yeah we do that.

Speaker 3 (20:08):
You know, we've all do that's kids, right, But today
when we were when I was a kid, we had
playgrounds that weren't they.

Speaker 5 (20:17):
Were metal metal right, right, So that slide that you
slid down as second, you have no clue, you're shorts,
throwed up, you got a second degree burn on your hams.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
Everything are you off?

Speaker 3 (20:34):
Because it's centrifugal force. Nobody knew you could spin them
that fast and would be shooting out right. It's like
they knew, they just didn't care. Like you learned your lesson,
didn't you? There? You go bars your actual metal and
you you can't down, you break things there.

Speaker 5 (20:50):
So now you have to give a kid to go
on America. All right, everyone light up, hip your hands
to yourself. Don't touch the other children.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
You don't know what they might have. So there's lessons
learned from then and now right, how to build a
proper playground versus billions today. But are we building those
proper playgrounds? Because kids are stupid and they learned that
we've dumbed down America. We've dumbed down American.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
We are children.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
So it's like nobody stopped me from going down that slide.
But after I went down that slide and burn my ass,
I knew, don't do that again. Right, some kids two
or three times, those are the slower children, and they
were in a different grade. It's I'm sorry, intellectually challenged

(21:45):
they were. Because if I touched the stove once.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
I burned, and you don't keep putting your hand over.

Speaker 3 (21:50):
It's like, let me see if I could defy this right.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
Like you're going to be able to stop electricity.

Speaker 5 (21:56):
This is excluding any chef. Okay, just we know you
can put your hand in the up.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
It was okay you to do that.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
Okay, we've all broke ours up at one point, you know.

Speaker 1 (22:07):
Yeah, I look at and I have to wonder how
much of this because it is generational, So we've already
gone through which of you know where we fall in
the fifties, the sixties, seventies, eighties, and there were no
helicopter parents when I was growing up, And.

Speaker 2 (22:24):
I tell you, a helicopter I didn't even know what
the hell a helicopter parent was.

Speaker 3 (22:27):
I heard my dad.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
My dad was a help.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
My dad was a drone operator from Afar. There was
no camera though, so all he heard was the screams
and you do something up, something happened. Wait till I
wait till he gets home to tell me right right, right,
right right, and he doesn't tell me it wasn't him right.

Speaker 2 (22:48):
Those are the way it was raised. My neighbors.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
If I got out of line, my neighbors absolutely my ass.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
And let me tell you, I don't say that in.

Speaker 3 (22:59):
In aphorical way.

Speaker 4 (23:00):
No, I know, we actually got to ask and then
they call your parents and tell you them when the
parents came home.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
So what point did that become so horrible that people
felt it necessary to coddle to to it'll be okay,
And I understand and again and I said it before. Uh,
I was bullied as a kid, horribly horribly bullied. And
now you've got cyber bullying, which okay, So what is

(23:32):
the parent of today actually controlling that? The parent of
our day and age couldn't control nothing. It's the same thing.
It's just shifted where these antics.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
Will take place.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
So instead of being on the playground and somebody making
fun because I was wearing a rabbit coat, now you've
got yes.

Speaker 4 (23:50):
Shut up, you don't know what a rabbit coat is.
Oh my god, we all thank you? Right, yes, yes,
the matching yes it was.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
That was that right?

Speaker 3 (24:04):
That was?

Speaker 2 (24:05):
We looked good, look good.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
But now from you, I didn't wear one but the
women rabbit coat hap the yes yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
Yet and even the match hat.

Speaker 3 (24:23):
The only thing we had that was a dead animal
on us was the leather jacket. But the jacket again
to that.

Speaker 1 (24:32):
Now you've got kids who are sitting behind a keyboard
being keyboard warriors.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
Oh did you?

Speaker 1 (24:37):
And they're excluding kids, and so maybe the parents do
feel the need to your point, Carmine, that they have
to be their friend for their kid because they don't
have an understanding of really what's happening in that child's life.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
During the day.

Speaker 5 (24:49):
But hold on, now here's the thing. When we were
all kids, what were what was our daily marching orders?
Don't get hurt, yes, bye bye, yep, while side nowadays
it's like yep, oh, we're just gonna say you're playing
video games, are you know, Doom, scroll on? You know,
whatever you want to do, and and no parents want

(25:10):
to say go outside and do something.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Well, that's not true. We do know people who do,
and I will say that they're not younger parents. They're
older parents who who tell us that, yes they're sending
their kids out to go and do X, Y and
Z play in the front yard, play in the backyard.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Just don't kill anyone or anything.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
But again, it's it's different now.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
I've seen firsthand people I know who are raising children,
and I call it parenting by iPod or iPad. Where
here we're gonna go out to dinner, you're gonna come
to dinner, child, and you're gonna stay on this stupid thing. Right, Well,
the parents have adult conversation.

Speaker 3 (25:50):
Right, Restaurants still have crayons.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
And yes, I know right, not a majority of them don't, right, Right.

Speaker 3 (25:56):
Used to Pizza Hut, used to the places where you.

Speaker 4 (25:59):
Dine and you could actually sit there and in color,
you know, yeah, and still be able to communicate with
your parents at the table.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
And I feel like you were assign today. What do
you see in a restaurant that we go to every
time you to go there, there's a family and they
but the kids have the iPad she.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
Was just talking about. Yeah, yeah, and that's just.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
The norm today. Why why why? And that's where I
wanted to get you. Why is that the norm? Because because.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
Because somebody said it's not okay to whoop your child's ass, Well, yeah,
just because they don't know how to sit.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
At a table and act like they have some sense because.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
They have hot Right, how do I my child so
I could have a good time? Thank you? And so
it's not about a family thing, right, It's about it's
about we're going out together, We're going to be in
the same car, we're going to go eat. Do not
make me have to hit you. So okay, I mean,
but it does. Well, it's this, it's how do you parent?

Speaker 1 (27:04):
When we were younger, and I will and I know
they listened to our podcast. So my neighbors growing up
in Jersey, there were a set of twins and then
there was another set siblings, and myself and the parents.
We all would go out for dinner and we went
to this place called elteredo Alto, and we would pile

(27:27):
the kids would pile on the back of the station
wagon and windows.

Speaker 3 (27:30):
Down by the way, no seafell.

Speaker 1 (27:33):
My father and one of the other gentlemen, my other father,
as I air quoted, ned they were smoking in the
front seat, because you still smoked in the vehicle even
if the kids were in there, and the ladies would
be in another car or scrunched into the middle row
of the station wagon.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
So take the visual.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
And this is what we did as a community. And
we went to dinner together and then the kids sat
at one table, the parents at the other.

Speaker 3 (28:00):
Exactly there was no ye the head.

Speaker 4 (28:07):
And you knew, oh you got the look more than anything.
You didn't have to say a word. That look would
be enough. But but Also, you got the lecture before
you got out of the vehicle. Touch nothing, thank you,
don't touch nothing, don't ask for nothing, do it? You
told sit your Now, you got the full lecture before

(28:27):
you rolled out the vehicle. And if you even attempted
to come out of that out of pocket, you're done.

Speaker 3 (28:33):
But you're right.

Speaker 4 (28:34):
We all sat at our own separate table as kids,
and you packed properly.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
Yeah, why was that discipline?

Speaker 1 (28:47):
I think that things become acceptable and as again technology came,
has evolved and things have changed, and no, it's not
acceptable to whacky kid in the head anymore. And okay,
I understand that more things are reportable in the whole thing,
but at some point I'm going to discipline my kid.

(29:09):
It's not your business right now if I do something
in public that is unacceptable.

Speaker 2 (29:15):
Like again the eighties, I will.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
Tell you right now, it wasn't even a question if
one of those parents had to walk over to our
table because we were being loud. We were throwing tortilla
chips at each other, we were screaming at the top
of your lung because you want it your way, right, Yeah,
And for.

Speaker 5 (29:30):
Some of you younger parents, just know that tortilla chips
used to be excellent, Ninja Stors.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
That is a story. I'm not saying that I've had
my but beaten the public for it, just saying it.
Now you have this.

Speaker 1 (29:46):
Mentality where it's okay, we're going to talk about it.
Let's talk about what is your feeling that's making you
want to yell in this restaurant?

Speaker 2 (29:55):
All right? Right?

Speaker 5 (29:56):
So we no well, I mean going along the lines
of then and now. Back then, it wasn't about like
there was nobody. There was no parent over the age
of twenty five in that restaurant. That was like, they
just need to tell that child to calm down.

Speaker 3 (30:12):
And make good choices. Every single parent in there was
like you a.

Speaker 5 (30:19):
Bathroom, thank you, because the handicapped stall is for the diagnamic.

Speaker 3 (30:25):
There was a wheelchair on there, and there was a
person beating the kid. That's the two signs on that.
That's what it was about.

Speaker 5 (30:33):
It wasn't about like, oh, they need to better parenting.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
Just give them the iPad old calm right.

Speaker 4 (30:39):
Right, or go sit in your time out chair and
then think about what I'm like, what the hell is
the time out chair? You got five seconds interact together
and it wasn't a time out chair.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
Okay, Chrissy, you saying that all restaurants they should have
like little escape rooms sound proof and you go in there,
don't need to be sound proof.

Speaker 5 (30:58):
I think, like, no again, Nobody back there was afraid
that somebody's gonna get the cops called on because they
were disciplaining their child. Nowadays, it's like, oh my god,
somebody's gonna call the cops on me because I'm disciplaining
my child.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
Yeah, well, school schools, And give you a great example.

Speaker 4 (31:20):
I remember when my son was going to private school
and he came back home one day and says, well,
the teacher says, you're not allowed to spank me, and
if you do, I can call the cops. I said, really,
I said, you go back and tell the teacher that
I'm gonna whoop your ass if you're out of line,
and if they want to come and raise you and
take care of you, I will pack your bag and
they can come do so. And he actually told what

(31:41):
I said. Nothing came out of it, but he had
had to explain to him that, you know, there is
a difference obviously, of being abused, having a spanking, getting
out of line there's absolutely.

Speaker 3 (31:59):
A difference there.

Speaker 4 (32:00):
But these teachers literally were setting these kids up to
go home and tell them the inappropriate thing when like,
first of all, you're in a private school. They don't
know shit about raising no damn kid, you know, so
don't sit up there and tell me about how to
raise my child. And one thing I was not going
to allow with my child to whup my ass and
the process because you are you know, quote unquote you

(32:22):
can't touch me attitude and being that I ran daycare centers,
I've had three of my own. I had literally would
see kids, you know, we would have them completely under control,
learning certain things, you know, being you know, how to
take care of yourself if you're in a certain environment,
the holding hairs and as soon as the parent come
through the door, it was a whole different phase. Well,
I had one child who would literally mom come picking

(32:45):
them up and he would just kick her and she, oh,
this is so funny. Excuse me, this is not appropriate
and you cannot do this, It would try to explain.
She said, Oh, he just does it every night. I said,
do you understand what you're what you're doing and how
you raise and what you're allowing that if he can
kick you every day that you come through this door,

(33:06):
what in hell you think he's gonna do when he
gets out here in the school full time and then
are on his own.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
As an adult.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
You're literally raising a child who cannot function in reality.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
So I wonder at what point it became the difference
between and my parents were educators, right and my mother
worked in Newark, my father taught in the suburbs. And
at what point did the difference, as you said, go
from discipline to abuse. And there is a fine line
right there. I don't think we can be dismissive of that.

(33:39):
There is a fine line.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
Between being abused. You know, you don't.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
I can remember there was a kid in elementary school,
you know, had armed finger marks and arm marks, hand
marks on his arm. There wasn't a mandatory reporting then.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
So this poor kid, that was his life.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
You know, he would wear long sleeves and spring in
summer when all the other little kids were wearing. So
at some point parents took this mental jump from I
can't discipline my child or I'm gonna discipline my child,
And then those children became parents and said, I remember

(34:18):
I got my ass whooped. I will never do that
to my kid, and they stand by it now. I
will tell you that when my daughter was little, very little,
like four, she had to take medicine and I remember
this vividly, and I had to hold her down to
squirt the medicine and the syringe into her mouth so
she would take it.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
And it was so traumatic for me.

Speaker 3 (34:41):
I was bawling.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
She was hysterical crying, but I was hysterical crying too,
and I swore to myself I would never do that again.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
But that's what my parents did to me.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
They held me down, maybe take my medicine, to go
sit and watch some TV and calm down.

Speaker 3 (34:56):
So where does that change? I know, and you can
imagine what it was because calm down?

Speaker 2 (35:00):
Literally, at what point did you do?

Speaker 3 (35:10):
So?

Speaker 1 (35:10):
At what point did the kids? Because it's I don't
think it's our generation. I don't think it was gen X.
I think it's everybody after gen X is coming up
with this. It'll be okay, or don't process.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
Your emotions, and now you have all these emotions you.

Speaker 3 (35:24):
Don't know how to process.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
But again, going back to the abuse thing, you know,
at some point getting hit to learn discipline and when
the difference between right and wrong became oh you touched me,
I'm calling CPS or.

Speaker 3 (35:37):
DYFIS or whatever the.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
Exactly, and it really became a challenge for so many
people because now there's mandatory reporting and kids coming home
like you said, like your son came home and said, oh,
I can report you if you whoop my butt.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
Because there's extremes to whatever happens, right, so the extreme
gets the publicity and then it says, we'll fix this
by allowing this not to happen. Right When I when
I was growing up, there was two things I was
afraid of. There was a little rubber hose and and
there was a wooden spoon, not the wooden spoons you

(36:17):
have today. These are the sauce spoons that didn't break right.
So those I've had them. You know, I've acted up
where my mom hit me with those and it was
just like that once that I can't even know, and.

Speaker 7 (36:32):
That's all you needed, That's all I needed, right, But
in Catholic school, I got paddled and then the little
ping pong paddle, not the ones today, but the real
fucking ping pong paddles my French and and and they
there was also abuse in psychological abuse. Absolutely calling you

(36:53):
out on you know, calling you out on things that
was humiliating and frustrating and and and stuff like that,
and all that got noticed in the education system and
changed dramatically.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
But it changed because you're on this end of the
spectrum trying to fix a problem. That's that's you should
it starts up there.

Speaker 2 (37:16):
Do you think it's over compensation?

Speaker 3 (37:18):
Yes, yes, it was overcompensated, you know, but it's there
was good things about overcoming, you know, to give a
vehicle for someone in the school system to report what
they suspected as child or in the medical industry, but
because of the signs that needed to happen, I agree, right,

(37:39):
and and but to to to enable a child to say, hey,
you you can't discipline me, you can't hit me, because
I'll call difisana. Right, that's where everything you know, I
don't condone a parent hitting a child, right, uh, in

(38:04):
today's world, only because I think it goes to the extremes.
There's there's people that my parents hit me once and
then I knew I couldn't do that right, or scolded
me once I knew I couldn't do that. In today's world,
that scolding turns into hitting, turn turns into breaking arms,
and and it comes into you know, psychological abuse, right,

(38:29):
and it's and it's and then you develop a fear
and that's something that you those kids can never outgrow
if if they're not safe well.

Speaker 4 (38:38):
And I think a part of the reason why it's
like that today is because they don't discipline the kids
where they need to be.

Speaker 3 (38:45):
It's it's no different than they were disciplined. They were disciplined,
they were disciplined in the wrong way, and they're just
perpetuating absolutely, And that's.

Speaker 4 (38:53):
And I think that's what any of our parents, you know,
they everybody, that's the way you were raised and how
you talk. You're gonna take some of that and moving
into how you take care of your own family.

Speaker 3 (39:02):
Right.

Speaker 4 (39:02):
But the biggest thing that I've seen from the time
that I can remember raising my child up to how
you see the kids today. The problem with people today
is they never address the issues they need to be addressed.
Is no different than in our home environs that you
see it or in your work environment. That's why you
have people being so braddy and I'm not doing this,

(39:22):
I'm not working, you know, but you want to be paid,
but you don't want to do the work that comes
with that right because they've been told all their lives
they don't have to do it right. And it's not
just from the home, it's from the society as a whole,
because you know, everything is very like you said, dumb down.
You know, we had to work and earn our way

(39:43):
to every little damn thing that we've done in life.
Today it's so far dumbed down that you know, you
don't even get me anytime.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
You think, I look at this.

Speaker 4 (39:51):
When you take out cursive in the school system, how
the hell do you not know how to write your
name in the signature signatory way and cursive you've got
to sign documents when you become an adult. I can't
go and buy a house and not sign my name
and print it out the whole time.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
Listen, that goes way back way back when people couldn't
sign cursive right, and what they did was put an
X on I understand the So so we're talking about
decades of not being able to and then we talk
people how to write right because it's important, it's important,

(40:31):
meant something and it's not important anymore, but.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
It's still important. Because they had to bring it back.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
So it's discipline not important. Is that where we've just
become as a society.

Speaker 2 (40:40):
That's the problem.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
That's the problem. Right. Discipline is important, so important that
you can't just say, Okay, we don't have to write
our names anymore, but now you do have to write
your names. So what message were sending out there? Discipline
is the most important thing. Discipline, but not abusive discipline
and standards standards to think you So.

Speaker 5 (41:01):
Because that's one of my favorite subjects, I will relate
it to one thing that I know, the United States Army.
Once we started to take away shining boots, oh god,
and ironing your own uniform.

Speaker 3 (41:13):
That was the downfall of the United States Army.

Speaker 5 (41:15):
That was the failure of standards and discipline because you
knew who was the disciplined soldier versus the ship back soldier.

Speaker 3 (41:24):
Yeah. Hey, if you were to bring it back in
a heart like that, people be like, I really don't
know how to shine a boot. It's not that, no,
But it's just about being taught.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
It's about investing in what it's about.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
It's about you getting out there and doing it.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
But you have to have we had we were taught.

Speaker 3 (41:42):
Yeah, yeah, we were taught to do that.

Speaker 4 (41:44):
Like I always had to shine my own but there
was no way you would find somebody who was shying
their own boot or iron your own stuff.

Speaker 5 (41:50):
We were taught how to make change right, right, right.
But nowadays, if you go into a restaurant and I
know I said I wasn't gonna go here, but I'm
gonna go here, is that if you look at any
type of points the sales system, most of them, ninety
nine percent of them, tells you that I give to
give change back for any type of like cash currency.
It's like you must give three pennies or two dimes
to equal this muchmouth.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
It's like, wow, bro, look you have gone here. We
go here, we go with the discipline again, right, five guys, right?
Oh god? I paid cash right, okay? And the kid
looked at it. The last time I picked up the
burgers and I paid cash, and the girl was just
learning right, and and I felt really bad that I

(42:33):
wanted to take the money away and just use my
fucking card because it was painful to watch.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
Was she trying to do it in her head?

Speaker 3 (42:42):
She was being told how to do it on the
machine because she couldn't do it because she didn't couldn't
do it in her head. Right, So here we always discipline,
right math, good cash register, bad point of sail bit. Yes,
So so here's the other end of that right today,

(43:05):
You can't think it out right unless the machine tells you.
But if you don't know how the machine works, you can't.
You can't issue change either. So here I am like,
give me that back. I'll use my card just because
you didn't want.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
No, I didn't do that, no, no, But I'm saying
like that was your thought process. It's like, my god,
this poor kid is struggling to do math.

Speaker 5 (43:26):
But it's like, but it's the same thing, like like
the conversation you and I were having coming over here
right about organizations fail their employees because they have zero
training doctrine, you cannot put somebody in position, even if
they've been in the position before twice without giving them

(43:48):
some sort of training then now, right, So, my.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
First big girl job, and I'm not talking like baby
sitting in right, my first.

Speaker 3 (43:54):
Big girl job.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
I worked in Manhattan, and I was all excited because
here I am coming from the suburbs, got on the
tree rain, got to my bus, like I was the shit,
and yes, it was the eighties.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
My hair was big and it was fabulous. Actually it
was the nineties. That is still big.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
And I walked into where I was working, and Leah
was the woman's name. She sat me down and said,
don't touch a thing. All you were going to do
is follow me and listen to me, and if you
have questions, write them down and we'll go through it all.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
And I said, great.

Speaker 1 (44:25):
And this woman may she rest in peace. She was
a very good friend of the family. And she's like,
let me tell you, you suck at this, this, this,
and this.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
We're going to work on it. But you were really
good at that, that and that and that, so I
want you to do all this.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
Other stuff right. And again it was about an investment.
It was about caring, thank you, and yep to your
point of organizations investing in their employees. Back then, it
was needed because there wasn't the option to give it
to a computer or a chat bot or whatever it
is for them to do it.

Speaker 3 (44:57):
For math, you had no math.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
You had to know how to make change because there
wasn't a point of sales system or a calculator on
your watch letting you do it quick fast and in
a hurry script cursive.

Speaker 3 (45:10):
You had to learn.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
Teachers had to invest the time to teach you how
to do it because there was no autofill or electronic signatures.
And with discipline and children there was exactly the same thing.
Parents had to invest the time. Not let me take
you to the vineyard with me so that you can
sit there so I can get my booze and my
charcooterie on a Sunday. No, No, it was let's all

(45:35):
go together, let's have a conversation. Tell me how your
day was. Oh, and yeah, by the way, I do
care I want to hear. Not all right, it's seven o'clock.
You gotta get to swim brass, you gotta go here,
you gotta do this. Oh, we gotta run now we
can't have kids.

Speaker 5 (45:54):
But again, going back to the now, like, how many
families do you know sit down and still have dinner
at least Sunday?

Speaker 3 (46:04):
A very few that I know of, very few. So
you're talking about balance. You're talking about balance too. There's
there's a routine, and you'll see a lot of families
today are occupying their children's time so that they don't
have to being the parents.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
Everybody else is the parent. Whether it's send them right.

Speaker 3 (46:30):
To summer camp, let's send them here now. Granted, summer
camp is not all bad, not all bad. In fact,
it's it's good because it teaches a lot of things.
But but you'd be surprised how many I was surprised
how many parents had their children go away from the
day after school ended till the day before school.

Speaker 4 (46:52):
Right, so they never spent whether their grandparents' house, whether
they were in camps, whether we soccer camp, summer camp,
whatever was yeah, because we had parents wouldn't allow us
to do that. We couldn't do camps, We couldn't go
and spend whole summers with relatives. No, that was absolute, No,

(47:13):
we're not doing that.

Speaker 3 (47:13):
In this household.

Speaker 4 (47:14):
We were together as a family, We traveled as a family,
and if they were working, we were at home. And
my I actually thought my parents were crazy. My brother
and I were really like, Okay, where do we get
these people from? Because of the summer time, wherever else
is having a great time, we're sitting at home doing math, reading,
writing or whatever it was.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
We were in school all year round in our household.

Speaker 4 (47:39):
That was the way it was coming up and you know,
at the time I didn't understand it, but of course
once you become an adult.

Speaker 3 (47:45):
And even when we were in.

Speaker 4 (47:46):
High school being able to go and work and an
actual you know, we were at art right and arsenal.
We actually worked full time in a school program and
then all through the summer. But if we wouldn't have
been able to do that, we had the skill sets
that my parents had, you know, disciplined us with in
order to realize this is what you're gonna need to
be successful.

Speaker 5 (48:06):
I mean, like it's like my summer was, hey, yeah,
we had we had our summer, We went on vacasions
with my mom and dad. But at the same time,
it was like, you have responsibilities and chores and you're
going to continue to do them, and guess what, it's summertime.
Therefore there's a little bit more responsibilities and chores.

Speaker 3 (48:23):
For you to do.

Speaker 5 (48:24):
But it's looking back at like then it was like
this is porchure, this is bullshit. Now it's like, oh,
my dad was just teaching me. He was stilly disciplined,
damn it, you know exactly, But there's none of that now, Like, well,
I don't say there's none of it, there's it's it's
hard pressed.

Speaker 3 (48:41):
The environments change, right, So when when I was a kid,
everything was accessible via walking, bus, train, Right, So the
chor is like on a Saturday morning to go get
the bread, the cold cuts, the veal cutlets. Right, was
was walking this route?

Speaker 2 (49:02):
Right?

Speaker 3 (49:02):
But but it was it was a chore. But I
didn't look at it any other way. But you know,
raising a child in New Jersey where that wasn't the
case where they could walk to a saloon, maria or
a bakery. It had to be driven. That went away.
So so a lot of people that moved to the

(49:25):
suburbs don't have the ability to the chores. What are
they gonna do? Do laundry?

Speaker 5 (49:31):
No?

Speaker 3 (49:32):
Yeah, right?

Speaker 5 (49:33):
Mine was mine was cut the grass, clean the bluel,
helped dad and do anything else that we were told
that we did do because it wasn't hell. It was
vi fall and told uh learn learn mechanics on a
vehicle and things like that.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
But it wasn't.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
Look it's all different things, right, Yeah, I didn't have
grass to cut, so but I had to pick up
dog poop that the dog the dog that I wanted,
you know poop, Right, I have to wead the garden
where the tomatoes. Who are right? Things like that?

Speaker 2 (50:05):
So now would that would you allow a child to
walk like? I had to do the same thing.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
I had to go to the local bakery during the summer.
From the house to the bakery was six seven blocks
on a main road. I mean, yes, there were sidewalks,
and it was at the beach, so transient. My parents
are like, Okay, here's your money. Go down to Master
Baker's and go get yes that was the name of it,
and go get coffee cake, and go get Canoli's and

(50:34):
go get whatever it was, and then walk your happiness
back home.

Speaker 3 (50:38):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
Now I wouldn't even dare no, Well, I mean it's.

Speaker 3 (50:44):
So we haven't understand that it was. It's it's different time.

Speaker 5 (50:48):
Not even different because different areas. So like what you
guys are saying, you were able to go and walk around.
We lived in a place like my grandparents lived two
and a half miles from us. Guess what could not
ride your back there? There was no way in our neighborhood.
What was going on in around our neighborhood. You could
ride two and a half miles there. Because we had

(51:09):
a strict my father had a strict rule. You were
allowed two straights to the right, two streets forward because
one of the left that's main avenue.

Speaker 3 (51:19):
But over there the.

Speaker 5 (51:21):
Crips and over there some bloods. And it was the
the you know, people coming and going all the time,
stuff going back and forth. And as we got older,
it just got worse and worse and worse. And thank
God forging I join the ourn left because and then
my parents.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
Like, yeah, yeah, it was no different than that what.

Speaker 3 (51:40):
We all grew up in different environments, right, So what
was good for one may that's the conditions set by time,
conditions set by locality, conditions set. So it's it's very
hard for us to compare then and now when it
comes to discipline, because you still could have discipline no

(52:02):
matter where those things were right, and that would eliminate
the then and now the people of the children issue
with discipline and and and and actually boundaries and balance.

Speaker 5 (52:15):
But I think something like Kim said earlier, it's like
talking about mentors, right, we we all had somebody we
looked at to or it's it's inspired to be right.
We wanted to be g I Joe. We wanted to
be an astronaut, we wanted to be Barbie something like that.

(52:35):
Nowadays it's like these kids are like, I want to
be an influencer.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
It's like I'm gonna take you out back, you know.
It's like because it's like, how can you be an
influencer when you right don't understand it.

Speaker 5 (52:51):
For you?

Speaker 1 (52:52):
Yes, okay, so you want to be an influencer. How
do you know what an influencer is?

Speaker 3 (52:56):
Why do you know what that is? Oh?

Speaker 1 (52:58):
Because you have your phone in this hand, and when
your phone is down, you have your computer or your
iPad or.

Speaker 2 (53:04):
Whatever it is. So there's such a need running a business.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
As adults we.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
Run our businesses. How do we run our businesses through
social media?

Speaker 3 (53:11):
There is no marketing.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
I mean, I'm sitting here as an adult taking a
social media marketing course online so that I can understand.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
Better how to meet my target audience.

Speaker 1 (53:24):
What happened to good old marketing one oh one? Where
I hated my professor so much I wanted to punch
them in the nose. But again, these are the times
and they're changing, and it comes back to my same question,
what happened Where was that access point that things pivoted
so greatly to differ and make everything change.

Speaker 3 (53:46):
So now you go out of school online.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
I went to college online because I finished my degree
at fifty Okay, cool, I didn't get it when I
was in my twenties or whatever. So everything is just
evolved and technology is to the forefront. But I hope
to God that as a society, we don't rely on
technology to continue to evolve to do better for our children,

(54:09):
or that our children's children, Like I don't want to
see my children's children using chat GPT to finish their lives.

Speaker 5 (54:19):
But everybody's doing that, right, I mean, we just watch
we just watch something somebody's like chat GPT, this chat
GBT that it's.

Speaker 4 (54:29):
Like yeah, and they're already complaining about how people are
utilizing it in.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
The wrong way.

Speaker 3 (54:33):
Correct people, you know, they can't get through.

Speaker 4 (54:35):
School without cheating by using chats because they can't take
a test. So there's all these these these things. You
know that we can all say that you have your
definitely you're good and bad about it, right, But then
and now no difference from the customer service to you know,
how you raise your kid at home, to how your
your job, all of it is become an issue because

(54:57):
people in my opinion, today don't know how to use
this the brain, your mind. They're not open minded because
everybody's forced, you know, every child's forced to pick up
a calculator, pick up a phone.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Nobody knows how to balance it out. But it does have,
in my opinion, does have to start at home. When
David first to have somebody who does this, like, have
a parent who work. The parent we're talking about, come
on and explain to us how what they're doing.

Speaker 4 (55:22):
It makes sense, right compared to what we did, you know,
raising our kids and not having some of those things.
You know, during time I was raising my son, that's
when computers were really just starting to come be become
popular and phones were start popular and affordable, but there
was still a limit. He couldn't even have a phone
until he was I think in tenth or eleventh grade.

Speaker 3 (55:42):
You know, that was that was the rules.

Speaker 4 (55:44):
But I didn't care about you. Look, this is how
I roll, this is what I'm paying for it, this
is what we're gonna do. And when you sat at
the table, I bring not see that damn phone sitting
at this table. We're having dinner right now. You know,
that was the conversation that still no matter what this
new technology is, it's great you have it, but you
wouldn't have it for one for me, right, So I
think there's still that process of people understanding that's it

(56:07):
has to start somewhere, and it has to start at home.

Speaker 3 (56:10):
That's your foundation, agreed, So absolutely, Father you on any thoughts.
I didn't. I didn't finish writing all my thoughts here
because there are things we we we obviously didn't capture
in our conversation.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
We need a part two.

Speaker 3 (56:30):
We probably need a part two of this because you know,
we talked about, you know, the paradigm shift we just
touched upon between men's roles and women's roles. You know,
the stay at home mom versus stay at home dad,
right trophy, husband trophy. I'm sorry that that trophy husband,

(56:57):
watch that podcast. Parenting roles definitely have changed and they've shifted.
We all know that, you know, bread winner shifts versus
you know, who really has to be the bread winter house.
It's not the man. It could be both men and women.
So we didn't really touch about. Something that we'll change

(57:19):
we'll do on our follow up is probably having kids
later on in life and how that affects the way
you parent the what what is then versus now? Because
I'm seeing a lot of people are not getting married
at nineteen twenty, We're having kids two years later. Right. Uh,
They're they're they're waiting into their thirties to have a
start at thirtieth. Right. And that's that's that's it. That's

(57:42):
a that's probably a follow up topic. What we did.
What what I do want to say is three things,
well maybe four things. Friend parents are bad, friend parents
are bad. Disciplined parents are good. Discipline does not have
to mean abuse, it's not physical. Discipline is something that

(58:06):
you need to instill upon should be something. It's something
that I know the person I am today is because
of the disciplines I had as a child, and lessons
learned is an education process. It's something that happens over time,
and those lessons that we learned that I learned I
brought to my parenting. I may not have been the

(58:28):
best parent, but I know that my son is an
amazing human being, has gone through a lot of things
and has persevered. Growing up today is totally different than
than when we grew up, and that doesn't mean it
has to has to change. Discipline I think is the

(58:51):
key word here. Setting boundaries, disciplines and balance is an
important thing. How do you balance all the things that
are going on today as it it's totally different than
what I've would have done as a teenager, as a
young adult, as a middle aged adult, and you know,
as an older adult that I am today. The balance

(59:14):
has got to be different because the world has changed
and that's a difficult, difficult thing to deal with. So, however,
we talked about parenting. You know, I don't want anybody
to get the idea that we're bashing some of the
parents of old parents have new It's just that what
is what was then is different than what is now.

(59:34):
And that was the key to this affect a man.

Speaker 4 (59:37):
That was a great ending And you're right, I think
as a whole, we all just need to make people
realize that.

Speaker 3 (59:44):
It's like I said, what we talk about is what we.

Speaker 4 (59:47):
What we have dealt with in our lives, our experiences,
and I think that's the most important thing to understand.
We're having these conversations, and so as we continue to
combat to this conversation, which we would definitely need to
be because there's so many more things.

Speaker 3 (01:00:01):
Less as my husband's pointed out that we.

Speaker 4 (01:00:03):
Could continue to communicate about but at the end of
the day that then versus now is definitely a huge
change in our society and our worlds around us, and
being that we're all products of the fifty sixties, seventies
and eighties, that we have been able to experience that
change right and the things that are around us what
we had and versus where we're at now. But again,

(01:00:26):
you know, another great conversation. Thank you again, you guys
are the best best hosts you could possibly have on
this show. And of course again for those who want
to be a guest and want to have these conversations
with us, reach out to me at Kimberly at WSBI
LC at gmail dot com. And of course if you
want more of Unveiled podcast shows, Monetored donations to support
the podcasts are now accepted through cash app, paybal, PayPal,

(01:00:49):
good Pods, tip Jar, or go to the website at
wwwwsb I LC dot com. And again, if you like
to would like to thank you all for listening to
us tonight. We will be back next month on Thursday
evening at seven pm. Be sure to follow us on iHeartRadio, speaker, YouTube,
or wherever you listen to your podcast. But then until then,
enjoy the rest of the evening. Good Night, good night, goodbye.