Ep. 235 We're in a Tenet

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Let me finish. This is the first time I committed
a hate crime. Maybe they'll jerk my dick off for it,
you know, like something like that. Yeah, probably we've disgusted.
I'm associate bath an th rested relationship, any trash ship.

(00:35):
You're listening to your Worst Friend machine and Matt.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
I'm Matt.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
I'm joined today by my friend and co host, a
man who refuses to leave his five pointy six million
dollar Baltimore home if there was closed on to hang around.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
That's me.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
We gotta make it more like law and order. I'm
gonna uh at my intro every week. I'm gonna rip
it from the headlines, and I'm just gonna associate you
with it.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Now.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
I get a lot of my news from four chan,
so it's probably gonna be you running a lot of
child sex trafficking, brothels and underground tunnels and controlling weather
lizards Yeah yeah, lizards. Uh. Follow us everywhere on Twitter
and Instagram. At worst Friendcast go to patreon dot com
slash worst friend Cast. You can get a bonus episode

(01:22):
every week and access to everything ever record it entirely
commercial free. Or you can go to your Worst friend
dot com. I redid the website.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
By the way he showed it to me, I thought.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Oh better, Yeah, I mean, this looks.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
Better than before.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Junkie not good, but this looks good.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
That part's good. Yeah, I like this part.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yeah, okay, so people should go there.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, go go check out the good parts of that website.
You got to click around to see them.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Yeah. If you see something shitty, just keep clicking and
you'll get That's how That's how I, uh, the shitty
town that we grew up next to. That is literally
how I get home through it because I grew up
driving through there pretty much, right, And my concept is

(02:10):
always like, if it's a shitty area, you just keep
driving and eventually you'll hit something that looks somewhat decent
and you'll go, oh, I fucking remember it.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, keep going. Eventually you'll hit the ocean for sure. Yes,
thirty six blocks of row home then the ocean.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
So I don't know, if you know the house that
you lived in in high school across the street they
built a fucking walmart, right.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah, I remember you telling me that. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't
someone get killed there recently?

Speaker 1 (02:42):
I don't know. I did pick Bland drew up with
jen when the George Floyd riots were happening to drive
past it, and they did. They had like thirty cop
cars in the parking lot. They had spotlights and shit like,
I we see you.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
You're not gonna blend into the night. Is that what
they were doing?

Speaker 1 (03:06):
They have special glasses on that can see teeth in
the darkness. Real well, those the ones that Dennis war
Yeah or yeah, well, yes, those are what Dennis wear.
But have you ever seen the sunglasses that look like
those ones? But they're like HD glasses?

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Is HD glass? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (03:27):
Exactly? Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
He makes your vision four K. I'm not yeah, believe
it or not. Your eyes see better than four K.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Already, hold on these hold on. Oh that's a that's
a guy putting them to the test. I don't want to.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Oh my god, I'm I was being a fucking little
prick here. Just this is this is a real product.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
You don't know. This is like a real fucking thing. Yeah,
get night vision glasses. Hold on ready, I don't want
to get hit with an AD Let me say, hold on,
watch this.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
The night vision might have a little bit of there
might be a little bit of a boosting effect but
it wouldn't be much. But yeah, there's no way it
could present clearer imaging unless it's a prescription, unless it's
just by chance. You know, you could happen to have

(04:21):
the right fucked up vision, But how could it present
a better image than what your eyes produce? Right?

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, no, I agree.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
On watch, if you wear glasses driving a night, you
can be down right dangerous and stressful. Difficulty seeing the
glare of oncoming headlights. Well not any by the way,
the voice sounds fake. This is one of like the
shittiest infomercials I've ever seen. But I can't believe you've
never seen this one before.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
No, I haven't had cable in years. Okay, good point.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
More introducing HD vision night vision.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Okay, I might get these fit over your existing See
that they put it up to the cameras at night.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
They cut the brighter. It enhanced contrast and clarity.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
You know, hoon over your whole fucking cranial socket ship.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
Who looks like more of a dickhead? In twenty twenty four,
the guy driving by himself in a car with HD
glasses on, or the guy wearing a mask by himself.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
The guy pounding the HD vision guy into the ground.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
I thought you were gonna say, the guy pounding his dick.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
There was his he's wearing a mask. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
There was this NFL player, Kellen Winslow junior. His father, No,
Kellen Winslow the third whatever. It was a lineage thing.
His father was like a Hall of Fame sports football man.
He just said that, like an adult man, a nice
football man. And they and Kellen Winslow was a great

(05:49):
player in his own right. And he got injured a
couple times or whatever. And the last.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Time, great Carl Winslow.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
He he and now he did, I believe, go to
prison for raping old women.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
Okay, following in Richard Ramirez steps.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
Killing Winslow the second Okay, let's see. But the one
big thing was, uh.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
Oh, he had a lot of crimes, it looks.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Like, but there was one.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Oh my god, but he's got CTE.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
There was one.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
He wasn't born a monster, he was made one.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
I don't know. Ah fuck, I don't know where it is.
It's on here somewhere, but I remember they found him
like passed out. They said he was smoking spice maybe
if I remember correctly, passed out in like a Walmart
parking lot, fucking beating his dick with a fucking thing
of vasolene next to him.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Oh shit, that was some good spice. That was the
one twenty.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
G I uh one time Jenninly smoked salvia down the
fucking beach trey.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
What concentration they that was in twenties? That came sixties?

Speaker 1 (06:57):
Okay, it had to have been forty. And here's why.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Okay, because.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
My ass would have been like, let's go as high
as we can get, you know.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
I did that. It was a fucking bad thing. So
good thing you just went to And.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Then my wallet, though, would have stopped me at the
forty threshold, where I would have been, oh no, we'll
just get this. That's fine.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
Oh man, if you're trying to do drugs on a budget,
you should get into shrooms.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
Uh No, I'm happy with my current drug consumption. I'm solid.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
But you can grow shrooms in a little tupperware huh. Okay, cool,
and you harvest them and you eat them and you
get off fucking high.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
Yeah, we've had a little seven pound I don't want
to get off track. So we're at the Cat, which
is a two second story, and then we'll go back
to the salvia, and from the salvia we go to
Kent Wishington. Kent Wishington, the football player beat his dick. Okay,
so we used to have our last cat was like

(08:04):
a six pound girl cat, right, and she took like
six pound girl shits. Okay. Now we have like a
fifteen pound male eats a lot of wet food cat. Yo.
It's the what cat shit is? Other worldly? Gross smell it.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
I never really see this.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
I thought I thought you were going to say, I
don't ever really mind it. It's kind of pleasant, you know.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
I well, I don't smell it either. Really. Like. We
bought the unscented litter accidentally a couple of days ago,
and I did notice, like, oh, this litter box was
like fucking cat piss you know. Yeah, this up boy, Yeah,
and I got my son to do it, you know.
But the the what is it? The perfume kind of

(08:52):
kiddy litter. Yeah, the cat will shitting there and pissing
there and just smells like perfume. Hmm.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, no, it smells like catshit rolled in perfume in
my house at least.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Yeah, But I mean that's fine. It's long, it's got
a coating of perfume.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
I can't tell, so jump back salvia story. We were
on a third floor balcony down the beach. Right at
that idea, the surf side.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Motel sounds charming.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
It is the closest one to the boardwalk and the
cheapest one, which tells you it's also the most dangerous.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah, it tells you, right. Most of the doors don't lock.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
They didn't. Yeah that was the story when we went
one time and it was fucking like bolted back on
the fucking lock. They didn't replace the door, They just
kind of like put metal over the part where it
had been ticked in.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Yeah, that's scary, man. I slept in a motel six
in Vegas ones with my wife and we spent most
of that night at a Hooter's and like a bar
and stuff like say, you know, safely around it by
hundreds and hundreds of people unless a sniper perched up
in the balcony and started shooting everybody. Once the country

(10:06):
band took stage, but the Yeah, we went back to
that motel six, man, and I remember like not sleeping
a fucking wink. I was just like staring at the
I had the dead bolt on. But it was just
like it was one of those ones where it's like
a stick with the little hook that locks onto the stick,
so they could still push your door open an inch

(10:28):
break it off, and you know if they kick hard enough,
and it's like, dude, I don't have a gun with
me or anything. I had to get on a plane
and I don't even own a gun. Yeah that was. Yeah,
I feel for you, because New Jersey's worse than Vegas.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
To believe it or not, you don't have to feel
for me. I felt no fear any of those times
I went down there, none whatsoever. Now that you're saying it,
it's really like sticking in my head. I was more
fearful of like fucking bedbugs or someone else came. Well
one time, did get sheets had they had blood on them?

Speaker 2 (11:03):
So, oh, well that might have just been period.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
It was near the head. Actually, that muld have been
just a shotgun last Yeah, it.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
Could have been, but it's probably just period. Like the
chick was sixty nine and on her period, you know.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
Oh, and it just dripped onto his face like alien.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah. Yeah, it's just like the ooze coming down out
of the rafters. Yeah, I've seen a movie recently man
where this chick I fucking forget where what it was.
It was some like met some boy like at her
high school, like after school for sex, and she she
got him to eat her out while she's on her period,

(11:42):
and like he he realizes like midway through because he
you know, like she just kind of shoves his head
under the covers and then he's like, oh, you fucking
gross bitch, and he runs out with all this blood
on his face, and I'm like, dude, just do it.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
I'm not a fan, I have I've done it. You
ever do it by accident?

Speaker 2 (12:03):
Okay? When it's by accident, it's like, hey, did you
know you'd sprung a leak? Yeah, i'd have liked a warning. Yeah.
But if you're going in the know, then yeah, it's like,
oh yeah, I I came ready for this. I didn't
eat today.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
That's really gross. That's uh yeah, that's real gross.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
All right. So that was the salvia you got.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
And we smoked it, and we didn't have anything that
we had been smoking, Like we weren't. We didn't smoke weed.
It wasn't legalized. This was fucking ten years ago or something.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
You didn't have a frame of reference right right.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
Right right, and we had no buzz whatsoever, like felt nothing,
felt like we you know here, smoke some oxygen, you know,
and fucking I guess oxygen would have even gotten you
a little bit higher. Not if you smoked it, you
would explode yourself, right, yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
I think you would.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
All right, uh uh? But we got nothing except just
the giggles, like crazy giggles too, just no word like
and you couldn't stop it. But I was a little
worried I was going to do a header off of
the balcony, like if I started seeing hallucinations or something.
Did you see hallucinations when you did it?

Speaker 2 (13:19):
One hundred percent? Yes, apps fucking lutely. That was my
first experience with any sort of psychedelic, and it was this.
It deterred me from psychedelics for so long. I accidentally
discovered that I could enjoy a psychedelic because I took no.
I guess it wasn't accidental, No, because the guy I
took this drug Mandy md A. It's MDM is Mollie, right.

(13:45):
Mandy is a slightly different chemical and it's basically this
euphoric drug that also gives you slight hallucinations like visual
distortion type shit, and yeah, like I I met a
dude who made it and he look up md A,

(14:07):
uh the drug.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
Okay, all right, go ahead, and you keep talking about it.

Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah. The dude was like a chemistry student. He had
made the stuff, and like I trusted him. I trusted
the dude who took it. So yeah, I bought some.
And yeah I realized, like, oh shit, hallucinating can be fun.
Shrooms are cool and stuff. But yeah, salvia, it straight
up made me see like I didn't live an alternate

(14:37):
life or anything, but I definitely dissociated from like space
and time. Yeah reality. I completely lost my like thread,
you know. I like when I came back from my
weird hallucination, I had no idea like what was going on.

(14:58):
It took a while for everything to come back. I
had to like have my memory job. It was very
like disorienting. And then while you're hallucinating, I was seeing
just like it looked like the matrix, you know, the
like the text crawling down on the screen, the code.
It was like that, and it seemed to last for
a long time, and it was like three D and

(15:19):
it like shot out of the the screen of the
world at me and it enveloped me, and and I
felt like when I had come to it was so
I remember this part vividly. I remember feeling like I
was like jettisoned awake. So I like my head was

(15:40):
on a table and it it like what I kind
of saw was like the portal closing in front of me,
and that was the table, and it was like I
felt like flung back from it. You know. Obviously it
was just me like freaking out, but yeah, everybody was
like laughing and stuff, and I got all I was
all paranoid, and I was like I thought everybody was

(16:01):
like trying to hurt me. It's weird because you see
a thing come out of a person, you see like
something like more like a more true to the animal
side of the person. So I like freaked out in
like I was kind of I wasn't violent, but I
was very defensive. So like someone tried to put their

(16:23):
arm on me or something, and I like pushed them
off of me.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
Get the fuck off, Get the fuck off of me.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like and I and
I started accusing everybody. I was like, you're against me
and you were in on it and you're trying to
kill me. I it was just like from nowhere. It
was just like this like primal thing, like oh my god,
they're they're coming at me, you know. And then when
my wife did it, because she after she saw me
do it, like she thought it was a good idea. Yeah,

(16:53):
she went into like fear state, you know. She was
like in in like the corner, just like staring at
them so long time.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
How many possible reactions are there to taking this truck? Okay?
One is a positive happy, you know, good nice normal sitting.
Maybe you see a little something, you feel something, you know,
maybe you could enjoy some music you laugh.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Laugh.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
The other one is corner no, no, no. The other one, yeah,
I understand, is too more. But the other sorry, you're
right whenever. The other one that I'm thinking of initially
is fucking blair Witch.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Is coming for you.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
Stand in the corner. Don't turn around because if you
look at her, she fucking I don't know whatever the
blair Witch did you there?

Speaker 2 (17:40):
You go, uh you want her to kill the other kid?

Speaker 1 (17:43):
Is that what it is?

Speaker 2 (17:46):
I think that's I think that's premise. It may be yeah, yeah,
I think I think that's like the rip. The legend
is like, oh she would she would kill the first
one that turned around or some shit. But it's like, dude,
I thought this was real when I was a kid,
and it's not. That's fucking bullshit. Somebody should do.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
I saw that too late in life. And by that
I mean I don't know that I've seen it all
the way through.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
But it's boring.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
For about I was just gonna say, I try and
put it on now and look at him like, this
looks like shit, this sucks.

Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, it's entire very good.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
Night vision glasses. Oh the third one, well, what about one?

Speaker 2 (18:33):
Is?

Speaker 1 (18:34):
The third one is?

Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (18:35):
Violent one? Yeah rage Kellen Winslow. On November fourth, twenty nineteen,
wins Will plead it guilty to the rape of an
unconscious teen and sexual battery on a fifty four year
old hitchhiker as part of a plea deal.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Did both of those primes happen in the same night, I.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
Don't know. But did you hear about Mariah Carey.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
Her mommy, sister, dad, huh.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
On the same day?

Speaker 2 (19:02):
How did that happen?

Speaker 1 (19:03):
I don't know. They haven't. Oh, man, if it comes
out and that that's what they're burying like, oh, my god,
she had died by gun violence, and the other one is, oh,
she died by suicide. Well, who did the gun violence? Oh,
her daughter shot her in the face and then killed herself.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
Two more black women taken by firearm.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
Did you see the picture? No?

Speaker 4 (19:29):
Okay, all right, okay, away.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
No, they're all fucking huh, where's the picture. Carrie's mother's
the whitest lady I've ever seen.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
Okay, she looks like Pauladine.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
She has the ability, yes, she does to grant. Fucking
My joke's not as funny after your polodine thing. Your
polodine thing was better. It is better than the joke.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
Well, the audience can't see her.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
Sometimes you just tap out, you know, And I just
I tapped out on that joke. Appreciate it. Yours better.
She does look like fucking Palladine. You nailed it. But anyway,
put it in a But that's her dead mother. Kellen
Winslow know that rape did not occur on the same day.
We're working backwards. This is tenant, O. Yeah, I know,

(20:16):
this is tenant. It's kind of like inception too. Uh.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
It is because there's dreams.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
Is it probably just no dreams because it probably my
lip is splitting in the middle.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
Assalted, they really bothering?

Speaker 1 (20:30):
Oh it hurts no well, Kellen Winslow. He accepted a
fourteen year prison sentence for one count of rape.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
I didn't see the sexual part. I didn't realize the
battery was on a fifty four year old hitchhiker or
I I didn't realize that was sexual battery. I thought
it was like he raped.

Speaker 1 (20:48):
An unconscious teen and sexually batteried. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, the team was the fifty four year old hitchhiker's daughter.
The CTA CTE had taken over. He was living in
the Walking Dead universe.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah yeah, yeah, let me rape your teen daughter and
he smashes the guy in the mount.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
I work.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
Yeah, so anyway, yeah, he's a rapist. Season in prison.
H HD night vision glasses, let's finish this commercial. Wow,
you really do see better.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
With regular eyeglasses, there's so much glare, and with the
HD night vision there's no more glare. I love them.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
HD Vision night vision wraparounds are famous high definition lenses
with a special night vision tint fits over your exist off.
It makes it way easier to see at night. They
work great in rainy conditions and really cut the glare
if you're driving in snow, don't be afraid to drive
you want to.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
Look like the lead singer of the Offspring.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
I think glare is completely dependent on and not completely Sorry,
it's gonna be dependent on the environment. But glare is
gonna be influenced by you, just like your body, size, shape,
your eyes, your sensitivity, all that stuff. I hate when
shit promises to reduce glare because it never fucking does.

Speaker 5 (22:27):
Ye.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
I don't even I'm not disagreeing with you. I don't
even know how to start. I don't even understand the
science behind it or anything to even comment on whether
or not you said something smart or terribly ignorant or
I don't.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
How do you ever buy sunglasses that?

Speaker 1 (22:47):
I have never once thought of glare though I've never
once like thought of blair in that.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
Maybe I do.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
I have nice sunglasses I have, I got wayfarers.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
Maybe it's for colorized lasses. Maybe tell me, because yeah,
like the glare, I mean, sunglasses reduce it to some degree.
But like I remember buying these super fucking expensive sunglasses
one hundred and eighty bucks at the time for oak Lea's,
which is a lot at the time. It's not a
lot for sunglasses now, but for a pair of nice

(23:16):
sunglasses then that was that was approaching top level. You know,
you're getting there. Yeah, but they had like polarized lenses.
They were extremely scratch resistant. I could drop them, I
stepped on them and they would just pop out of
the little visor. Sure fry thing. Yeah frame. Yeah. They

(23:38):
then like they wouldn't snap. They were like they were
fucking great glasses. And the polarization was real. It's like
you can look at the little card and it's like, oh,
that's interesting. When was that gonna help you notice it?
Like with things like windshields and windows and and water,

(24:02):
you're you're, you're, it's much clearer. You're able to get
a better view through translucent uh substrates, you know. But
the one thing it couldn't do was get rid of
the fucking glare, dude. And in Iraq, glare is it's
just effervescent. It's just fucking everywhere. Everything is fucking sand.

(24:25):
All the buildings are white or light tan. Everything is
just bouncing light everywhere. Dude. There's no clouds, there's no trees,
and every structure is the like the perfect dimension and
color to bounce sunlight right back at you. It's impossible

(24:46):
to get rid of the glare over there.

Speaker 1 (24:48):
Uh yeah, I've never thought about glare in that way.
I think of not Halo's. But I get the I
get what they're describing here. When I'm driving every the
light looks like a star burst.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Sure, I get that too. Because I have poor color vision.
I have good vision at night. I learned a lot
about eyes recently. I have good vision at night, poor
vision in the day, and it has to do with
my sensitivity to light. Right. So, once my eyes adjusted
to the dark, I actually see really really well. But

(25:24):
as soon as I get the like a blast of
light in the eyes, yeah, it's like disorienting. I see
the halos. I know exactly what you're talking about. I
bet you have good night vision too.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
Huh. It's getting worse. It's definitely getting worse, yeah, but
probably better.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
You know what.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
I have light eyes too. There was a baseball player
and he was Jock. We both have Josh Hamilton right
First overall, Pick became an alcoholic drug addict. Pulled himself
out of that. He was out of baseball, pulled himself
out of that and worked his way up to the
major league level. He was a Christian guy, right, but
still good for him.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
For not born again or not.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Just like I don't even know. I just and I
know he wasn't like a dickhead about it. He just
fucking he was like this Christ helped me, so I
wasn't shooting fucking dope in a gutter. And I go,
you know what, even if Mohammed gets you there, I
want that for you better than that. Now, are you
going to strap up a vest and head into a Walmart?
I don't know, but whatever, there you go by the

(26:25):
way we started on the Walmart near your house. I
don't know, Yeah, get back there. So Josh Hamilton wins
the American League MVP one year, coming from again the
highest tut it prospect is the number one overall pick
that one year to a fucking total loser to finding

(26:47):
a wife, finding God, finding sobriety. They went onto the
World Series that year, and uh, this was kind of nice.
You know how they spray champagne on everybody when you
head to it when you win a series and go
on to the next one.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
They all did their sober guys there.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
They all did ginger rail. Oh god, he's a drunk loser. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (27:13):
You know, they went home and fucking did lines of
coke off strippers asses and made fun of him.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Well, had Josh Hamilton died on some kind of plane
accident or whatever, broke his neck in a fucking yoga
position and died, his story would have ended sweet there. Okay,
Josh Hamilton admitted to after having slumps at the plate,

(27:38):
which will actually bring it full circle to what we
were saying. Uh, he started drinking again, and then he
got seen on camera or something like that doing lines
of coke. Then he fell out of baseball. Then his
wife left him and took the kids. After all that,
and he became a total, full on loser. I don't

(28:03):
know if he's broke, but he had a contract for
about one hundred and twenty five million dollars guaranteed, fully
guaranteed that all got paid out, and.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
Uh oh, what did he do with it?

Speaker 1 (28:14):
I don't I don't know. That's I hope he's not broke.
I hope he's just a loser. I hope he's not broke.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
Oh dude, I hope he's broke, because then it could
be a comeback story job, right.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Josh Hamilton has beautiful light blue eyes. And in sports
they have what are called split stats. So split stats
are your day games versus your night games. His day
game stats were total shit, and his night game were
better than MVP numbers.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
Well, and you know that makes total sense because the
thing I was telling you about eyes correlates with color.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, so cool.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
Yeah yeah yeah, it's so cool. So so I should
be a baseball guy.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
Huh, yeah you should. Yeah. I don't know. Can you
do cocaine and drink ginger ale?

Speaker 2 (29:09):
I mean I could, yeah, yeah, as long as it's
not alcohol.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
Yeah, I don't we even have to play baseball to
do that.

Speaker 2 (29:16):
I would want to show up and like sit on
the dugout.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
Okay, that's fair fit. Maybe you could. You could bring
them some of these HD glasses and it's the fucking
glare is what's gonna get you. Guys. Let me let
me tell you you were talking about that in a
way that nobody on this side of the ocean can
can necessarily understand what you're talking about. That's like if

(29:39):
you saw a spider at a thing and you were like, yeah,
that's a you think that's a big one. There's desert
spiders that are really and people just go, Okay, I
don't know what that means.

Speaker 2 (29:48):
Yeah, yeah, And I saw desert spiders and they're not
as scary as you would think, you know.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
Really, okay are they? Are they as big as they look?

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Though? No, those pictures are really deceptive.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
They the biggest ones I saw were like a size
of like a prescription bottle.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
Oh, that's still really gross and scary, but it's not
a small dog.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
Right, yeah. Like I've never seen any a rack kneid
bigger than like a tarantula in real life, and I'm
skeptical that many exist. But anyway, yeah, like the that
is like a an otherworldly thing, like that's that's what

(30:30):
that was. So what's so kind of like uh, I
don't know, not not interesting, it's not the right world word.
It's just like eye opening, you know. It's like I
I forever was changed by that. Like I spent a
lot of money on sunglasses to this day because I'm

(30:51):
just always afraid. Like, yeah, I think I even told
this story on the podcast. One day I went to
the shower tent or the shower trailer when the sun
was still down, took a shower and came out and
the sun had come up, and I didn't have my
sunglasses and I was literally fucking blind. Really. I was
like walking back to my tent just like with one

(31:12):
hand out in front of me, just trying so hard
desperately to get my eyes open, and they just wouldn't
because the sun was just like burning my fucking corne.
It's fucked up.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
You know what you should have had with you.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
Uh, HD vision pro glasses.

Speaker 3 (31:27):
Famous high definition lenses with a special night vision tint
the daytime eye glasses. It makes it way easier to
see the conditions and really cut the glare. If you're
driving in snow, don't be afraid to drive at night.
Now you could have Hi, I could.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
Have swore there was one of these later on. That's
why I skimmed it while you were talking to see
if it was this one. It wasn't. Uh there, I
could have swore there was a military guy who was like,
you know over in the Middle East. He's glasses really
helped me out. I was I don't think it's this
one though.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
Yeah, Well, you know, whatever gets you through. Bob some
guy's got beef jerky, somebody's got nude pictures from their gal.
You got your h D vision pro?

Speaker 1 (32:11):
Well, how expensive are that? I mean I would pay
one to two hundred thousand dollars to have a better
vision at night.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
I mean.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
It's past that. It's price price, Yeah, to be able
to see at night? What am I an owl?

Speaker 2 (32:29):
Wait? What are you a fucking lion?

Speaker 1 (32:32):
I don't know, I don't is that?

Speaker 2 (32:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (32:34):
Cats have good vision.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
Right, I think they hunt at night, don't they.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
My cat has one eye, so I don't really know.

Speaker 5 (32:40):
Oh, dude, you should test it.

Speaker 2 (32:44):
You should like put a mouse on the left side
and no, dude, he doesn't have the right side.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
He doesn't have a good eye and a bad eye.
He has a good eye and no eye.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, I know, you put you put that mouse outside.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
What don't they just like when somebody goes I'm blindfolded
and you go like this, huh and you throw your
fists at it. Why don't I just do that towards
my fucking cat?

Speaker 2 (33:09):
Because you want to make it scientific.

Speaker 1 (33:12):
All right, you need a control.

Speaker 2 (33:14):
You gotta se Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I don't
know what it's gonna be, but just get one.

Speaker 1 (33:18):
Okay, all right, hold on, here's a black dude. He's
gonna be like, that's a mind.

Speaker 2 (33:23):
Man, I can't see ship.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
I can see shit. That is my favorite line from Faceballs.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
Look you paused it on Bronson pin Shot. Here be
barreling next to this guy with his vision pros. Hey, hey, Bud,
I can see just fine over here.

Speaker 1 (33:39):
See. I was picturing him as fucking David Berkowitz. Oh yeah,
I thought he was trying to pull out a fucking
forty four and point it.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
You know, actually I think that might be Uh, who's
the guy? Uh who jumped out of the plane?

Speaker 1 (33:54):
Oh, dB Cooper, Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
Where they get this guy for this?

Speaker 1 (34:00):
I don't know, man, I can't believe.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
Is that a hat or his hair?

Speaker 1 (34:04):
I can't believe you've never seen this that's his hair?

Speaker 2 (34:08):
Is that one of those Russian police hats from Raw Deal?

Speaker 1 (34:11):
I think it's more one of those curly, you know,
jew hairs. Yeah, that's it. You said it nicer than
I was gonna say. Witness they were amish.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
Yeah, Witness. I never seen that movie, but I know
it's like he's got to protect an amish kid or something.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yeah, Amish kids saw a murder and he's got to
get him to like the fucking prosecutor or something. But
they they got but they ain't got no car.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
Yeah, so he's got to drive them. Yeah. I feel
like in an Amish community community, they would just solve it,
you know, like take the boy's eyes.

Speaker 1 (34:53):
They see the murder, and the kid tells someone, and
the gangster guys like, what are you gonna do about it?
And they just start as in them in the head.
The Amish just a little start killing the goombas fucking
grease balls.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
I don't remove the boy's tongue so that he does
not tell them.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah, they still have to quiet the boy, all right,
all right, hold on.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
Let's break his fingers so he cannot write.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
Yeah, definition night vision wraparounds take control of your life.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
From what the fuck out of commercial who casted this ship?
There was an old woman. She looked like the old
lady from the Hereditary. They got fucking D. B. Cooper
in a Moscow fucking top hat, and now they've got
someone who's obviously from what our president would call her
shit whole country.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
One of the presidents, Yeah, one of them more public.
Probably both.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
Yeah, President, there's still one more.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
Public than the other, I would assume, though, sure.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
Yeah, yeah, one one behind the scenes.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
Let's be honest. There's nobody in fucking the House of
Representatives or up that doesn't think some places in the
world are shithole countries.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
Oh dude, it's just an It's an objective fact. I mean,
if you live in a nice place, by definition, there
has to be not nice places, and a synonym of
not nice places shithole.

Speaker 4 (36:21):
It's all right, let's watch this guy makes it so
much easier to look through kids windows With my night
vision glasses.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
I always know when the neighborhood watches out and I
can get out before anyone sees my pud.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
I like to watch your daughter change, but it's so
dark in your house. Yeah, you should get some all right,
all right, let's say key night vision glasses. I'm not scared.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
I can see in front of me everything. They're fantastic.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
See that is what it looks like when I'm fucking driving.
I might benefit from these glasses.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
I'll say this. I see that with headlights, but I
definitely do not get that same effect from tail lights.
Weak dim lights like traffic or what are they street lights?
Traffic lights? Yeah, I don't this is an exaggeration. This
product is they're curing a They're selling you a disease
and the cure and the same thing.

Speaker 1 (37:22):
I'm telling you. It looks like this when I see it. Now,
I won't have you pussing. I won't have you pussing misinformation.
I just said that I should fucking get them. They
look kind of cool.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
Yeah we should. I've actually been thinking that would be
a cool segment for our s, like because like, I
watched this guy on the internet. He's a younger I
want to say kid, but he's probably like thirty years
old by now. But I've been watching him since he
was basically a kid. He makes YouTube videos. I watched
his stuff with my son, Drew Gooden, not the fucking

(37:55):
basketball player.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
Well, what's hero with Drew good in the basketball play?

Speaker 2 (38:00):
And then I just don't watch his YouTube channel. Okay,
I'm just trying to delineate here.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
No, it's the other one, not the basketball player.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
It's the little boy, the other little boy.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
It's the little boy, not the seven foot two man.

Speaker 2 (38:15):
Well, he is kind of a little boy, I mean
compared to some of those other big burly men.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
Who are you talking about Drew Gooden?

Speaker 2 (38:23):
Bro, Yeah, Drew good In is black.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
Huh yeah, yeah yeah, I thought he I know, he
doesn't sound like it. No, no, no, no, no, no,
Drew good And I spelled his name with a fucking
somehow I did a copyright ar out or registered that.

Speaker 2 (38:39):
I've been trying to make that in my text messages
for like six years.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
Dud dude, there's not even the button on my board
that does that.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
Oh you know, Drew Gooden the basketball player looks a
lot like Joe Buden the rat.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
Kind of does, except again significantly taller, six and fifty pounds.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
Six ten god damn, but still not seven like some
of those big.

Speaker 1 (39:06):
Yao Ming You ever see yao?

Speaker 2 (39:09):
Ming? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (39:10):
You ever see Yao?

Speaker 2 (39:11):
Ming?

Speaker 1 (39:11):
Shaq and Kevin Hart standing together?

Speaker 2 (39:14):
I did? You showed it to me and Kevin Hart
was a little baby.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
It was a little baby.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
Yeah. This is the future of humanity, folks. This is
what you asked for.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
Un did it?

Speaker 2 (39:24):
Now?

Speaker 1 (39:24):
Did they breathe? I think this story was and Mitch, yeah, yeah,
I was red honestly, yeah, I think it didn't. They
get together the two tallest people in China.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
I think it might that.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
I think it was ritt. I don't know for sure.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
I okay, so what I've heard, and I don't want
to say it's a conspiracy because I think I even
read it like in a in a real source. I
think his family was part of like a selective breeding program.
They got like the most athletic, smartest, tallest, the best
of everything they could find in one cat, in all
those category worries, and they had him fuck each other.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
So Yao Ming was He's the only child of seven
or six foot seven Yao Xunion and six foot three
Fang Fang both.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
Of that is a big ass bitch right there.

Speaker 1 (40:17):
Che That is real big god damn for a Chinese girl.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
Yeah, we'll see.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
Is there a picture of Oh my god, oh my god.
His career was cut very very short because this is Chinese. Uh,
he was injured because he had to play for their
national team so much. They they they owe him, like
they really owned.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
Yeah, why didn't he just run away?

Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah? When did he just hide out? The seven foot
five Chinese guy?

Speaker 2 (40:55):
Well, what are they gonna do? Send a fucking little
karate guy over there?

Speaker 1 (40:59):
He's ye me, I know wait was his mother, both
of whom were former professional basketball players.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
Yeah, so so maybe they just met at a basketball.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
No, this is like like a Batman villain or like
an Avengers villain that kind of like like, oh, you
know who, he's Ivan Drago. Oh yeah, the Russian from
Yack like created to you know, just be this killing machine.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
Yeah. I mean a lot of folks have done that.
I think Elon Musk has even said that he's like
purposely because he thinks that this is I personally me,
I'm gonna say this is his ego talking. But I'm
pretty sure the words he used were something like he's
trying to leave like a race of super geniuses, and
that's why he's having like so many children in all

(41:51):
these different parts of the world. I could be wrong
about the terminology, but in spirit, that's what he's doing.
He's nutting and as many women as he can so
he can. You know, let the geniuses populate the planet.
They won't be attractive or tall or anything, or physically intimidating,
or be able to speak very well or not autistic,

(42:14):
but they'll be geniuses.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
To be fair, he's a pretty smart guy.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
I think he seems like an above average intelligence. Absolutely, yeah,
three different. I don't know that he would qualify as
a I mean maybe his intellect is that of a genius,
But I think his fucking weird personality, I mean it
just takes him down a peg because of the shit
he gets involved with, you know, like the arguments he

(42:44):
takes up and the sides he's willing to take. It's like,
he seems like he's smart enough to not get into
that shit, you know, and that's what kind of brings
him down for me. But he's obviously a very, very
very smart person.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
Yes, yes, he has some level of intelligence, whatever that
that is, whether it's managing or whatever. Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 2 (43:04):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
I don't know that it's a Look, hey, as long
as he can fucking pay for him, I don't know
that it's such a bad thing.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
Well, not that one he thinks is dead. He's not
gonna pay for that one.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Is there one he thinks is dead? Oh it's dead
to him? The trans kid?

Speaker 2 (43:18):
Right, Yeah, well, yeah, he thinks it's dead.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
Yeah. Did he say or did he say my son
is dead to me? What was the quote?

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Yeah, he said my son is dead. He was killed
by the trans mind virus.

Speaker 1 (43:32):
I think it was probably the woke mind virus.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
Oh, maybe it was the woke mind virus. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
Oof, that is so cringey. Ooh. I saw Tulci Gabbard
just talk at a thing for Trump. I everyone loved her,
you know, and it's changed.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
I just wanted to fuck her.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
I liked her. I still like her. I just want
to But she spoke out a thing, and Robert F.
Kenning Junior tweeted out, wonder Woman just joined the job
Justice League.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
Well, I don't know what that.

Speaker 1 (44:02):
He's referring to him and Trump and her as the
Justice League.

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Like, okay, so, which one is? Trump's obviously Superman, She's
wonder Woman. Which one is? Fucking So Robert Kennedy's the flash.
I don't.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
I don't Trump Superman, Trump's Batman.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
Okay, I'll yeah, I'll allow. So fucking Robert Kennedy is
gonna be Superman.

Speaker 1 (44:25):
Robert Kennedy is like Aquaman screaming at chorals stuff vaccinating
its kids.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
Dude, Robert Kennedy is like fucking Blue Beatles step brother.
In the opening scene.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
He's fucking George Lopez.

Speaker 3 (44:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:43):
Yeah, By the way, that movie was not that bad.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
I shut it off after Really, I didn't hate it.
I don't hate it. It was all right, and I
and I have a soft spot for d C. I
prefer the DC characters and everything. I played the games
more and everything, But fuck man, I couldn't do that movie.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
Who the two? All right? So the two are the
two best villain groups, because if I'm honest, most villain
groups fucking suck ship except for.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
Except for Man and Batman. Three.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
Actually, then I'll say, because no, no, no, no, oh no,
no no, what are you telling You're saying those are
good ones?

Speaker 2 (45:21):
I'm saying those are good Rogues Galleries?

Speaker 1 (45:22):
Yeah, who's the flash half? He has a gorilla and
a guy who goes like Gorilla Grod is cool, yeah,
glow or something. Gorilla Grod is essentially beast from the
Marvel universe. Yeah, he's an intelligenty right, Yeah, okay, okay,
Well that's there's only one good DC one, and there's

(45:44):
one good Marvel and it's not.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
Then you're gonna say Batman.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
It's very obviously Batman.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yes, it's the best one. I like the best, though,
I think Superman's got cool ass villains. Brainiac is coolest
shit you know is coolest ship, dark Side, cool as
shit Patreon.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
We'll do that. We'll go through like the best comic
villains or some bullshit like that.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
I love that. Yeah, I'm a fucking nerd.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
Out and I'll tell you what the good and semi
good marvel ones are. I mean, people are ready now,
but whatever.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
I don't really know other than the X Men, I
don't really know a lot of mar villains.

Speaker 1 (46:18):
We'll talk about it, so, yeah, we'll talk fucking night
vision glasses. I think we did all.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
Of that right, fixed our eyes, Yeah, we fixed?

Speaker 1 (46:25):
Okay, we better so I go to the Walman kind.
It does. By the way, we started with a reference
to the Kevin Spacey story, which we'll No, we won't,
I mean maybe we will.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
But what is is Kevin Spacey's homeless fucking cry for me?
I can go folks. Oh wait, wait, alleged, no rescinded.

Speaker 1 (46:47):
There you go. My name's on everything. I'll just get
sued for it.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
Well no, because he I don't think of people. All
the people took their stories back, but I.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
Think some people killed themselves.

Speaker 2 (47:01):
Or some died, or some some took their stories back,
and some space he was found innocent of or the
cases were dismissed, So.

Speaker 1 (47:12):
Maybe I think it's fine for him to come back.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
I yeah, if I feel like if I watched the
interview with him on Lex Friedman, and I feel like
Lex is a really softball fucking interviewer, I hate watching him.
I could stand.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
I don't know how you ever could. I have always
found him boring. I mean, like Peterson on him would
be what it would play in my hell.

Speaker 2 (47:38):
I think I don't. I don't mind if someone's boring.
But he's a combination of boring, obnoxiously like humble and
worldly in a way that seems like insincere, and also

(48:01):
a terrible interviewer. He does not ask hard questions, and
when he does try to ask hard questions, he he
does a lot of what Rogan does, where he just
will accept answers that sound good to him. And I've
i I I kind of think of Lex as like

(48:23):
he's like your he's your your Laurence Fishburn and the
matrix red pillar, blue pill? Which one are you gonna take?
Because he'll entertain both sides, But I I feel like
he is Ah is just like, yeah, like a hollow,
empty shell with no beliefs or values or principles. He's
just like a boring lump. I hate him, But what

(48:48):
was I saying about him? Who did you mention in that.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
I know I'm not being shitty. I saw I'm not
being shitty. It was, uh, you saw someone on lex
It wasn't Elon though, I don't think it's Kevin Spacey.
Kevin Spacey.

Speaker 2 (49:01):
Oh yeah, hell yeah, it was Kevin Spacey, right, And
he just took Spacey's word for a lot of the stuff.
So Spacey's there like, oh, well, the suit was dismissed
on this one, and then this guy he said this thing,
and that one he didn't show up, and this one
I was found innocent, and none of my accusers were minors.

(49:24):
So that's a big it, right, So right off the bat,
Right off the bat, you're because that one kid is fifteen.
I thought, yeah, he took back his story. He's the
one who recanted. I think or that was the one
where the judge threw it out and it was found
innocent according to this interview. Yeah right, so according to Spacey,

(49:48):
I remember him making the point like, look, so I
was found innocent, Like my hands are clean of that one.
I didn't do anything, and all my other accusers are adults,
you know, so aren't I just kind of like, you know,
a handsy guy that makes you feel uncomfortable. And if
that's the truth, like let him come back.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
Can I say something that just is gonna make me
so sound so fucking misogynistic? Sure, the fact that it
wasn't on women actually lessens.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
It for me for me too, Okay, Okay, you fucking
kidding man. We're white nights man. We don't want girls
getting touched and raped and stuff and made to feel uncomfortable.
We'll take that brunt.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Yeah, really, yeah, it's it makes it, Yeah, as long
as you kind of cause then like, look, Kevin Spacey
isn't brock lessener, He's not overpowering anyone. If you say,
like he enticed you with his money, a part of
me is like did he drug you?

Speaker 2 (50:50):
Right?

Speaker 1 (50:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (50:50):
I mean and being enticed by money, like you're just
biologically programmed to respond to money, Like I mean, you
could be aware of that fact and and try and
plan for it. But I mean, if you get enticed
by money, you're just.

Speaker 1 (51:04):
A born ho you know, you born? No, what's so
anyway Kevin's basey is losing. The sixty five year old
actor wants to stay in the nine thousand square foot home,
which he bought in twenty seventeen for five point sixty
five million, for an extra six months, supposedly without paying anything.

(51:26):
According to the new owner Sam However, oh what the
fuck the commercial?

Speaker 2 (51:33):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (51:34):
Sorry?

Speaker 2 (51:35):
Thousand square foot? What city is this fucking house in?

Speaker 1 (51:39):
Uh? Potomac? Oh in?

Speaker 2 (51:41):
What is it?

Speaker 1 (51:42):
Maryland? Right?

Speaker 2 (51:43):
Oh? Okay, okay?

Speaker 1 (51:45):
In Baltimore? A lavish Baltimore condoc Jesus God, I'd get dance, yeah,
but Baltimore, I'd get the fuck out of there. How
do you shuttle your way in and out?

Speaker 2 (51:56):
Well, he probably lives in this nine thousand square foot compound. Dude,
nine thousand square feet is literally it's it's just shy
of six of my house. That's absurd. What does he have?
Just a lot of guitars?

Speaker 1 (52:12):
How the fucking boys? No, no boys, none, no boys, grown.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Men, yeah, just grown ass men and his guitars.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
So yeah, I see. Here is the one thing when
I see stories like this, like I'm not supposed to
feel bad for him, right right?

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Yeah? Like I can laugh at him. Were kicking them
while he's down. All right, here's what.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
I could Yeah, here's what I would say. I could
feel bad that he lost his career or if the
other stuff, if it was all bullshit. Yeah, I could
feel terrible that he lost his career. He was a
phenomenal actor. He's still great actor. Blah blah blah. But like,
you could have sold your five point six million dollar

(52:55):
mansion and probably bought a nice two million dollars one
and you'd still be pretty good.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
Yeah, yeah, you probably could. Just he still gets royalty
checks for a bunch of shit. Man, he could probably
just take some money that he will have in a
couple days and go get a really nice condo, you know,
easily with you know his name and his credit score.

Speaker 1 (53:20):
And stuff, and live like a human being.

Speaker 2 (53:23):
Yeah, and walk to the bodega.

Speaker 1 (53:26):
Yeah in Baltimore. Man, maybe that's his thing. Hets to
stay in Baltimore for some reason. Yeah, and he can't downgrade.
If you go less than five and a half million
for a home in Baltimore, you might be a roommate
with some guy cooking crack.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
Yeah, if you don't have nine thousand square feet of
home to protect yourself you might get shot by the
police at anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
So I don't feel bad for Kevin Spacey.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
Yeah. I don't really feel bad for him either, except
for that one part about how he was sixty five
years old. Now he's gonna die soon.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
I don't know about that. I don't know that he's
necessarily going to die soon, but.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
He Oh man, you think he's gonna lift to be
ninety in this sad, sorry state? Or you think he's
gonna make a comeback?

Speaker 1 (54:16):
No? I didn't. Why did you say it like it
was fucking access Hollywood?

Speaker 2 (54:20):
Do you think?

Speaker 1 (54:21):
Do you think Kevin Spacey's gonna make a big comeback?

Speaker 2 (54:25):
No? I was saying it like mockingly, like this dude's
fucking finished.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
Like well, I wasn't saying it seriously. I wasn't doing
that voice like oh shit, I gotta keep working on that,
make it real good.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
Yeah, he's uh what's her name? Uh fucking holder? What's
her name? Chelsea Handler? He's Chelsea Handler? Ten years ago?

Speaker 1 (54:46):
Okay, finish finished? Uh the Walmart near your house?

Speaker 2 (54:53):
Oh, what's going on? And someone got raped?

Speaker 1 (54:56):
Uh? No, so I went in there. We got those
you know, those water jugs like the fucking I have
a water dispenser like you have at a fucking office.

Speaker 2 (55:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
It is cool. It's pretty cool because you can go
over and just hit some cold water, delicious hot water.
Yeah yeah, why yeah, yeah, I got some warm water.
So again, I got three of those jugs, right, and
I bring them in there. Not Walmart is like, fucking

(55:29):
it looks like a it's like a West African market,
is what. It seems like. There's a roaming cattle, there's
a lot of dashiki's and here's the thing. Okay, And
then I want this to go into a broader discussion
about immigration. Hispanic immigrants around here are really really nice.

(55:50):
They're nice. The African ones are not. They I'm like, yeah,
go ahead.

Speaker 2 (55:56):
That's a shame because the African ones are the legal ones.

Speaker 1 (55:59):
That's maybe hopefully, well.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
If they're if they're Caribbean, if they're that kind of
like African descended, No, they might be illegal Africans man
like they be coming here on fucking scholarships and ship
they become doctors and stuff, or they take their knowledge
back to Africa and then they become the leader of
the tribe or the village.

Speaker 1 (56:22):
Not not these.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
Not these coasts with magic from America.

Speaker 5 (56:28):
What is the deal with their fucking birdsman? With their
what vocal cords? Oh dude, they're just born noble, are they.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
That's not noble. Sounds like it's dried out. They sound
like they all live on dune.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
Oh well, dude, that's the that's the native tongue right there.
You're the one straying from the mother language.

Speaker 1 (56:50):
Okay, all right, to make it all sound pretty and stuff.
So I go in there and I have these water
jugs and you fucking switch them out. Now, I'm not
waiting in line. It's a fucking madhouse in there. I
don't know why. I don't know what it was. There
was a sale on Cocoa.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
Because they just put Martin on Max.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
Where the fuck does that? Man? Everyone was running in
to get Roku boxes.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
Yeah, dude, oh ship, I got Netflix, but I know
about Max.

Speaker 1 (57:19):
I can only watch it. I can only watch it
from my phone. No, we could get a Roku box,
watch it on the TV.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
Oh, it'll be just like old times. Let's get the chicken.
That's the Walmart.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
So I go in and I find it's frozen.

Speaker 2 (57:36):
No you, okay, it's banquet.

Speaker 1 (57:41):
You know that ship's good.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
It's bomb. It's way better than KFC.

Speaker 1 (57:47):
It's it's it's I would say tied banquet does rule
though it's very good frozen fried chicken.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Well, I mean KFC is good frozen fried chicken.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
I don't yeah, fair enough. No, they make it really beer.

Speaker 2 (58:01):
No, dude, they freeze the chicken when they send it
to the store. They don't cut that chicken up. Oh
I don't store.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
I don't care about that. I don't cut the chicken
up myself either.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
They got to thaw out those bags of chicken drumsticks. Dude,
it's like they get it at Costco. That's dirty. Kill
the chicken there.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
So I go into Walmart with three of those water jugs.
It's a fucking manhouse. It's Black Friday for different reasons
than the one after Thanksgiving, and uh, I fucking I
find three. All the rest are empty. They're switched out.
Those exchange machines never fucking work. You never get a ticket,

(58:38):
so people just like dump the fucking used ones where
the new ones are and then take a new one.
There's three left and they're buried underneath. So I go
reach and I like smash my head and all this
other bullshit. I get them out, stupid, stupid. I go
to the self checkout lane. Now you type in water, okay,

(59:00):
two things come up. Five no, no, no, five gallon.
These are all five gallon, five gallon no returned bottle,
okay or five gallon refill. I brought a bottle with me,

(59:20):
three of them. Okay, Which one am I choosing out
of those two?

Speaker 2 (59:26):
Wrong?

Speaker 1 (59:27):
You know how I know I was wrong.

Speaker 2 (59:30):
Because you uh, because you're dumb. I don't know how
it's got to be refilled.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
I pushed my cart to the front. Now here's the thing.
I didn't notice. Refill was like two dollars. And I
know for a fact the exchanges are like seven dollars.
So I will right off the bat say like, I'm
not arguing, I'm in the right here. This is just
a story. I know technically it was close to shoplifting.

Speaker 2 (59:57):
Okay, I mean it's all it's borderline, but it's like
it's water.

Speaker 1 (01:00:01):
But I literally have what looks like the United Nations
behind me, okay, in line, screaming, throwing shit at each other,
and this and that. The guy, the guy running the
checkout lane looks like the Indian sidekick in Deadpool.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Oh, okay, dender dong or whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
I think that's probably just a couple of racial slurs
jammed together there, or maybe just one. So this, yeah,
I'm like, I'm not going to ask this guy. I'm
just doing the refill. And I do it, and the
woman at the front stops me and goes, this isn't enough.
Oh I'm sorry. She goes, this isn't a It's supposed

(01:00:45):
to be a different one. I go, Okay, what do
we what do we have to do? Like, I'm sure
I have to leave now. Here's the thing I watch
when people are shitty to customer service people, and I
fucking hate it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
Yeah, I hate it, but I'll be I'll be shitty
if I feel. In this.

Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
Case, she wasn't even I can't even say she was
being shitty to me. The situation was so stupid that
I couldn't possibly accept what was going on. So she goes, no,
you wrung up the wrong ones. I go, there's two options.
Explain you fucking moron.

Speaker 2 (01:01:24):
Well, she's like indignant about it or what wait.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
Wait for the kicker at the end. Okay, there's a
payoff at the end.

Speaker 2 (01:01:30):
Of this.

Speaker 1 (01:01:31):
So she goes, I have to here's here's where, here's
where I got indignant. She goes, I have to take
you to customer service, and she leaves the front of
the store where she was checking receipts, and she just
had to zero in on mine, wide open. There's not
another worker there, so everyone is just flowing out. So

(01:01:52):
the six dollars potential more you're going to get from
me is probably negated by some theft that's likely going through.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
Oh yeah, dude, someone was just waiting for that. You
you were a great diversion. I was.

Speaker 1 (01:02:07):
I was. I was the patsy. I was fucking Lee
Harvey Oswald shouting it for some fucking wop shoots me
in the stomach.

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
Yeah, yeah, you're dead now. Anyway, So she what does
she grab you by the arm?

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
No, no, no, no, she just she holds my cart
and she walks me over to customer service. Then she
stand up by the way, of course, there was a
line of four people, fucking twelve chickens running around like.

Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
You know, take he bitch, take care of it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:40):
Keep the receipt to w Andrew Dice Clay fucking pig.
So she's waiting in line with me, and then she realizes,
oh yeah, this is like five minutes We're waiting in
line already, and I'm not saying a goddamn word to her.
I'm pissed, and she really I says, oh, I look

(01:03:01):
the front open. She goes, I'm gonna go back to
the front and get someone to cover me. And I go, okay,
and I'm I'm holding the receipt and she tries to
take it out. Oh no, she does take it out
of my hand. I go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
and she goes, what do you mean, Well, oh, I
have I have to go back to the front. I go,
and you need to give me the receipt and she goes, no,

(01:03:22):
I'm gonna hold onto it. I go, I have a
cart full of shit here when no way of saying
I've paid for it. I don't know if you go
to the front, I don't know if something's gonna happen
to you. I don't know what's gonna happen. But you're
either gonna stay here with the receipt or give me
the receipt, or I'll push my card up to yeah,
or I'm gonna punch I'm gonna drill you in your
sixty five year old cunt mouth.

Speaker 2 (01:03:44):
Okay, you're just your cut yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:46):
Yeah, and she but she was very nice. She didn't
get it. She thought I was even dumber than her,
and that I wasn't processing, that I wasn't processing what
was happening. Uh So she goes, she goes, yeah, she says,
She goes, No, you'll you'll be okay if you just
wait here. I go, this was somewhat threatening. I go,

(01:04:08):
you're not going anywhere with my receipt.

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
That's nice. You're like holding onto the other end of
the piece of paper and your your fingers are inching
closer to her fingers. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:21):
So or my hand goes over top of hers and
starts to squeeze a real tight on the cart.

Speaker 2 (01:04:28):
Yeah. So her palms are sweating and her wrist is sweaty.
Your yours is bone.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
So we get up to the front and she hands
me off with the receipt. She waited the whole time.
It was just it was a it was an open
it was an open border at the front of all.

Speaker 2 (01:04:44):
Yeah, no wonder, there's so many flacks.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
Anyone welcome, Just come on through.

Speaker 2 (01:04:50):
She's just letting them streaming.

Speaker 1 (01:04:51):
Oh my god. So the guy refunds me. By the way,
I had my Apple credit card, which don't doesn't mean shit,
but it's a nice metal credit card, right, and I
just I was bored. I was, I swear to you,
I'm so fucking poor right now. I was not big
shotting this, but I was playing with the card like
I was hitting it on the I'm not you know,

(01:05:13):
I don't have any money, but I do have autism.
So I was banging the metal card on the thing.
I was like, dude, du du da da, And the
guy's like, okay, I can give you a refund for
it's gonna be four dollars and sixteen cents. Now here's
the thing. It's gonna take a few days to clear.
So if you need that money right now, we can't.
And I wanted to I just in my head, I

(01:05:35):
wanted to be like, don't worry, I got it. But
at the same time, I was thinking like, yeah, I'm
not gonna be fucked on this, but I really do
need that four dollars back, like we need to make.

Speaker 2 (01:05:45):
Sure that happens.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
So anyway, I say to him, as he's fucking doing
the refund and ringing me up for the new one.
The lady walks away. I say, you know that lady
that was up here and what I stop and I go, nah,
just forget it, fuck it, I'll just leave it. So

(01:06:07):
the lady that stopped me at the front and walked
me back to customer service worked at a little store
behind the counter that we referred to as Trade a Tape.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
Oh shit, it was that old biker bitch yep. I
thought she is dead.

Speaker 1 (01:06:26):
Nope, she has thinned out. She got a job at
the Walmart after Trade to Tape closed. Now you'll remember
this lady as the woman that would sell pornography to chilter. Yeah,
I was. I was gonna tell that guy. I was
gonna say, hey, ask her if she used to work
at Trade a Tape and if she says yes, know

(01:06:50):
that that woman used to sell pornography children. I was
gonna get that going at the and I just was like,
I paid for my water the leaf.

Speaker 2 (01:07:00):
Well, I thought you were gonna say, hey, you know
that lady there, she deserves a raise. I guess you
just kind of broke even huh on the both of
our expectations for you.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
She could she could have either been painted as somebody
who deserved to make a living wage at a place
like this or a person who basically a pedophile.

Speaker 2 (01:07:23):
Kind of basically turned us all into pedophiles. You, me,
and our whole high school graduating class.

Speaker 1 (01:07:30):
All right, we're gonna wrap this one up. Go to
your Worst friend dot com. Follow us everywhere on Twitter
and Instagram at worst friend Cast Patreon dot com slash
worst friend Cast. Wow, we've really did. We really did.
It was like a palindrome, no parabola, and we literally

(01:07:53):
started with a Walmart story I was going to tell,
and we went to the center of the jawbreaker and
back out the other side. No, but we didn't go
back out the other side. We were reversed. Right Patreon
dot com sace worst friend Cast. You get a bonus
episode every week, access to everything ever recorded, entirely commercial free.

(01:08:16):
That's it for yours friend, I met, I'm confused, Thanks
for listening. We'll see you tomorrow, next week, last week.

Speaker 3 (01:08:28):
You don't follow us all recrud on You're I'm really
gonna miss you out when

Speaker 1 (01:08:31):
The show's over.