Ep. 247 Warmode

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Let me finish. This is the first time I committed
a hate crime. Maybe they'll jerk my dick off for it,
you know, like something like that. Yeah, probably we've disgusted.
I'm associate Bath, you're thras.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Did my shit put any trash ship?

Speaker 3 (00:36):
You're a worst friend, the.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
One to know why you're all fucked up. Just look
at the fucking problems to hang around with. You're listening
to your worst friend of Shane and Matt. I'm Matt
and I'm joined today by my friend and co host Shane.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
What's up y'all? Breaking Bad fans? Have you heard of
the show Breaking Bad?

Speaker 1 (00:59):
Nope, never heard of it.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
It's good. Check it out. It's on AMC or something.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
What was your analysis of today's show? We are recording
the intro post show.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
My analysis of today's show. There's a lot of good
advice for how to deal with the holidays. There's recipes,
there's uh, there's there's love, there's uh, there's heartfelt moments,
there's funny parts. So it's like, uh, it's kind of
like a holiday movie, right, like like Home Alone three.

(01:33):
You know, it's like there's all these funny parts, there's
all these adventurous parts. There's these really smart parts, like
what the traps he sets, But at the end of
the day, it's really heartfelt, emotional. It's a personal story
about a little kid with chicken pox and how much
he loves his neighbor.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Literally all of that is in the Patreon and none
of that is in this episode you're about to listen to.
So enjoy. All right, I started making a list. I
am this kind of I'm in full war mode right now.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
Okay, oh okay? Is that is that like an illusioned?
Is this like a some sort of analogy that I
should know?

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Like?

Speaker 3 (02:16):
What is war mode in regards to Matt's list?

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (02:21):
Different hit list?

Speaker 1 (02:22):
No, no, no, no, no, no, different people that I
have to target for different reasons to do different things
to them because they have spied me in some way
or something I didn't like about them.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
What are you trying to, Like, you get inspired so
you can pin a sequel to Dirty Work?

Speaker 1 (02:39):
No, I'm trying to get people fired from their jobs
and possibly kill themselves.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
Yeah it sounds like just a more edgy dirty Work.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Yeah, it's like a twenty twenty four dirty Work like
The Crow. Well, I haven't watched it yet whoa we
did a few weeks ago.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Oh was that a piece of shit?

Speaker 1 (02:58):
It looks like it that movie, I mean, such a
piece of shit. I just fresh out of a dog's ass,
fucking slightly wet, like a sixty percent moisture content shit
like the consistency of fresh mozzarella, just kind of but
a little more like goofy pouring out of the ass

(03:19):
of a fucking small dog with bowel sickness.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
That's a that's like a big meal movie, like not
not eating, but that's like, if I'm going to be
cooking a big meal that requires my attention, have that
shit on in the background, and I'll just every time
something really stupid happens, I'll notice it.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
You know that, I'm pretty good at doing something mindless
while listening to a movie or something, you know, so
I can like absorb a out of it. And I
remember I was editing something, and when I edit, I
keep one headphone in here. When I'm doing the interview show,
I keep one headphone in, but I'm reading the text

(03:57):
to cut along with the transcription of it, basically, sure,
and I'm basically paying attention to the entire Crow movie.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
The whole time, and it's that nuanced huh.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
It's so it was just it was just it was nothing.
It was just gunk. It's just drag. It's just nothing.
It was sitting there, you know.

Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah. I mean I don't even really like the original
Crow that much, but I appreciate that it has like
a cult fandom. I watched it maybe a year ago.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
That's why I'm a big rust fan.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Because oh oh yeah the Baldwin movie. Yeah yeah, it's
this similar, similar mishap on set. But the Crow, the
original Crow was objectively like an interesting premise, right, It's like,
what is it? It's like he's reincarnated after his girl

(04:54):
gets fucking raped to death and he goes on a
revenge free He's also got a crow ghost attached to
him or something, and it's got what is that, Michael Wincott,
That that really squinty eyed bad guy who's got like
a uh uh, Christopher Lambert style Highlander wig. It's like

(05:18):
such a stupid villain. Is the Crow is not a
good movie?

Speaker 1 (05:21):
What we're talking about?

Speaker 3 (05:22):
He's in.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
What else? Was he in?

Speaker 3 (05:25):
Was he in Alien Resurrection? Yeah? What else?

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Robinhood, Prince of Thieves. It looks like Three Musketeers is
a good movie. I haven't seen that since I was little.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
Yeah, it's not bad.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
It's kind of fun from what I remember. Isn't the
fat one in that? Isn't I have that guy?

Speaker 3 (05:41):
You know, that fat Andre that John Candy?

Speaker 1 (05:43):
No, Oliver one of those guys.

Speaker 3 (05:48):
Oliver Platt is such a great like, uh if if
you and I didn't know movies, we would know his
fucking name. But he is such a good, like forgettable
side character actor. He's so great if you need like
a historian to do like four scenes and and give
you the intel on like the bad guys and their

(06:09):
belief system and all this shit, or you know, the
ancient ruine writing. But you don't. You don't want to
see him like kiss somebody or get his dick sucked.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
He's an exposition character.

Speaker 3 (06:21):
Yeah great.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
He's great for showing up and being like that's what
and you know what he's good at with a couple
of quippie lines and shit too.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
Oh yeah, yeah, he can give him an attitude.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
This is a big time Oliver Platt fucking podcast. Okay,
we're big ups Oliver Platt old day long.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, let's see if we can get Oliver Platt on
here for the finale.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
Gentlemen, we present to you Oliver Platt, and we just
have him do the aultro to.

Speaker 3 (06:47):
First question was that you and flat liners ask him things.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
Hey, was that you and that one? And goes, yeah,
you go, man, Keefer was great in that, right, he's
just pointing out whoever the lead was that was really
great in that movie.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
Man, they put you in there with Keefer, Kevin Bacon
and Julia Roberts. God damn, you must have shipped your
pants the first day of shooting.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
Huh, Oliver, Oliver, really wonderful to have you on here. Now,
let me ask you. You did Three Musketeers with Keefer
Sutherland and Charlie Sheen. Did you know Keifer Sutherland was
just a terrible alcoholic and Charlie Sheen would eventually get aids.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
Oh you did? Oh?

Speaker 1 (07:24):
Oh, I was just going to promote The Bear season
two on DVD. Oh you're in the Bear, Yeah he is.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
Oh yeah, we're still on the interview. You're in that.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
Oh sure, we haven't checked any of his new roles
or any of his new credits. We're still we're on
nineteen ninety six.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
Nice, what's that, like, you get paid for that or
what is it?

Speaker 3 (07:47):
I just assume you're kind of like Danny Treyhoe. You
just do everything.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
Now, Yeah, what was it? I saw someone put out
a podcast, maybe they interviewed Danny Treyhoe or something, but
they said Danny Trejo's tattoo is more recognnisible than him.
I don't, I don't. I don't know anymore, but for
a long long time.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
Yeah, boy, who was.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
That guy with that tattoo on his chest.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
In con Air? He was definitely the guy with the
tattoo on his chest.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
That's a new Swedish novel coming along. The guy with
the tattoo on his chest follow I don't know that broad.
That was a hacker or rapist or whatever.

Speaker 3 (08:23):
The girl with the fucking tattoo. Yeah, girl with the
fucking tattoo.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Tattoo?

Speaker 3 (08:29):
Did you uh? Did you know die Hard as a
novel before as a movie?

Speaker 1 (08:34):
No? Really?

Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, isn't that dumb? Yeah, that's really dumb.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
He's been right. He walks around the fucking he climbs
through the things a lot.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
He ran over the glass and it was really pointy.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
Imagine you pictured like some hard ass cop not having
like the charisma of a Bruce Willis as you're reading
that this is the most boring fucking yippie kaye, motherfucker.
He's been so straight laced the whole time.

Speaker 3 (09:01):
Yeah, I never read the book, so it could be
like I think it's kind of like an imitation Tom Clancy. Okay,
but I've never read it, so I can't really comment.
But uh, the the idea like certain kind of like
an adventure book is exciting, right, like if people are
like solving puzzles like the Da Vinci Code. I don't

(09:23):
like the da Vinci Code, but I get why people
like it. It's an adventure right, It's like Indiana Jones.
But I can't like the I can't just get into
the idea of like I've never been compelled to read
a Tom Clancy book or a Rogue Warrior novel, like
the idea of just reading like action scenes and tactical

(09:44):
warshit like I'm good.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
Yeah, I bet the guys that know that stuff though,
like in depth, love those things, isn't Isn't that what
Clancy was known for being like so accurate with a lot.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
But I think now he's a ghost, right?

Speaker 1 (10:00):
Is he alive?

Speaker 3 (10:02):
I don't know. I think that now Tom Clancy is
at I think he is a name that he's sold.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
No, he died in twenty thirteen.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
Do people still write under his name?

Speaker 1 (10:12):
I'll look it up. That's a good question. But I
think what you're thinking of James Patterson does that a lot.
James Patterson has a lot of co authors, and apparently
they write the books. He looks them over and then
slaps his name on it. That's why I think he's
actually the ritt. No, it's probably JK. Rowling Ox honestly.
But Patterson is, like, I think, above Stephen King for

(10:34):
richest authors.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
Oh oh, I believe that. Yeah, I've seen so many
James Patterson. Like you go to uh a good will
and they'll have like two racks of books. One of
the racks is half Patterson half Stephen King.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
All right, give me an estimate on the net worth
for which one is Patterson.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
Uh two hundred and fifty million.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
Okay, give me an estimate on the net worth of
Stephen King eighty million, Stephen King four hundred million. Holy shit,
James Patterson just double that number eight million dollars. James
Patterson from writing what shitting Andrew likes.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
Two Morgan Freeman adaptations.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
Okay along, Chemi Spider was good.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
Though, Yes, the Girl's really good too.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, I like that one too. They're pretty sick. Actually,
I kind of like those movies. We've talked about it.
I don't know if we talked about it on air
or off air, and we've probably talked about on air,
but I like those movies to those though, oh yeah
we did, because last week I think we talked about.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
The Jackal right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
I like those kind of like the crime like psychological
type things and oh god, he set us up, you know.
Like the ultimate example is seven, I think in terms of.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
I was just thinking seven.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Yeah, like the best done one is seven. I would
say of those type of.

Speaker 3 (11:53):
Movies, seven is like seven has this aesthetic that it's
I still don't have a word for it, but things
strike me a certain way, like I get a certain
feeling when I watch certain movies or certain shows or
hear certain music. And the only feeling I can really
put to it is the movie seven. It's like, oh wow,

(12:15):
it's like that. It's just like this dirty, gritty, like
kind of hidden, like painful, like traumatic. It's just like
this really like icky place and the like. There's really

(12:38):
no good word that I can fix, like a subgenre
or anything like that. But every like so hereditary, I
would say, goes there right. Hereditary is just like it's
just like the family drama and the gore and the
fact that there's no happiness of any kind at the end.

(12:58):
It's just like it's a really the movie is meaning
to upset you, is kind of the point, you know,
And that's not that's not all there is to it.
But seven for me is like anytime a movie or
a show or anything gets me there, it's like in
my head, I'm like, oh, that's like seven. You know,

(13:19):
it's really that iconic to me.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
Seven to me, if you were to paint it with
a word, it would be like despair. Just everything every
shot in it is dark. There's rain constantly. Even the
interiors when they're in the house is lit darkly. And
the whole point is, I don't think there's like a
moment of joy in that movie whatsoever.

Speaker 3 (13:37):
I think the only moment of joy is actually when
Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman they both chuckle on a
couch at brad Pitt's apartment, and this is that's like
at the halfway point when they kind of become friends
finally when they have dinner. But yeah, I think that
is like that's the only recipe bit or respite, however

(14:01):
you say that word that you get and then I
think it's kind of like to lully you into this
this idea of like, oh, okay, these guys are becoming friends.
I can see like the movie like at the end,
these guys are gonna come out on top. This is
a pretty fucking crazy movie. But these two they're gonna
work together now and they're gonna catch the bad guy
and everything's be okay. And then it doesn't do that

(14:23):
at all, you know.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
And then they cut to the shot of the kitchen
and you see Gwyneth Paltrow and you go, oh, I
bet someone's gonna cut her fucking head off.

Speaker 3 (14:30):
Probably, yeah, I bet someone's gonna mail her head to
back to these two fellas.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
That was the third movie I watched with Jen when
I was courting her was seven. The first movie was
The Shining. The second movie was thirteen.

Speaker 3 (14:46):
That movie stunk.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
Ah, well, I'll beyond beyond a little kid though, when
you're a no, maybe uh, when you're a kid though.
Those kids are kind of hot, you know.

Speaker 3 (14:57):
Yeah, yeah, when you're a kid.

Speaker 1 (14:58):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yea yeah. I think I was like
twenty now.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
I remember watching that with you in high school.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
The four dude. Okay, all right, it is dunkay. Uh,
there was a The fourth movie we watched was Faces
of Death.

Speaker 3 (15:14):
So I was bummed when I found out that's fake.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
Yeah, but we didn't know that was fake. It was
like for me, it was like two thousand and eight,
and like, you know, maybe even two thousand setting out
two thousand and eight.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
It was before everything could be debunked.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah, it was.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
It was before oxygen could be debunked.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
Is oxygen debunked?

Speaker 3 (15:35):
Now? Dude, you can debunk anything now. It's just like
use AI, right.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
I gotta check community notes on that one.

Speaker 3 (15:44):
Just ask Jeeves. Is that the new AI?

Speaker 1 (15:46):
No, it's I have asked Jeeves? Is that the new AI?
Can I use that for AI ing things?

Speaker 3 (15:55):
Ask Jeeves? Is if you ask me, like, now is
the perfect time for a comeback?

Speaker 1 (16:00):
That's true? You can make an AI called Jeeves, right, yep, yeah,
what you do? Yeah, yeah, you might as well just
ask it. It's pretty good actually, Holy shit, you should
really sell that to someone.

Speaker 3 (16:12):
Jeeves. Yeah, I should get touch the Jeeves Corporation and
ask them if they'd be interested in my idea. Hey,
you guys want to go back in business. I know
you you've all fucking retired and went on to buy
Pedophile Islands in the Caribbean.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
But yeah, those of you that sold high, we know
you went to buy Pedophile Organization or you know, islands
Forum organizations. Those of you who held on because you
believed in the mission, you now have ten million shares
of pets dot Com stock that are fucking bankrupt.

Speaker 3 (16:44):
That that actually reminds me of what I watched over
the weekend. I saw the Zoe Kravitz movie Blink twice.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Oh, I have that downloaded. I kind of want to
watch it.

Speaker 3 (16:56):
Okay. It's really ambitious, really well shot, good movie. Right,
it's easy to figure out exactly everything that's going on.
I feel like, I feel like it's a really good idea. Okay,
So it's kind of like a less Yeah, it's it's

(17:17):
it's it's almost like a girl version of get Out.
And the reason I'm gonna say it's less like like
groundbeare breaking or like jaw dropping is just because you've
seen get Out, you know, it's kind of this is
kind of like a Lady get Out. But it was
still a really good movie. It was really enjoyable. I

(17:38):
thought Channing Tatum, I thought he's been a good actor
for a while. But I I realized that he's kind
of like a joke. But I thought he was really good.
I thought he gave he gave like a pretty honest,
decent performance.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah, I haven't watched it yet. I notice I'm starting
to get real. And by the way, Jen and I
assessed this the other today when she was picking her
up from work. I am aware people don't use the
term retardant anymore. I use it every other sentence. But
I don't mean like the drooling kid at your work,
like who fucking bangs groceries?

Speaker 3 (18:14):
You mean an idiot?

Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, I mean an asshole in the same way. Like
you know, I'm trying not to say it as much anymore,
but like, you know, you call a guy a fag,
I don't mean a gay guy.

Speaker 3 (18:25):
Yeah, Yeah, you mean like a fucking like an idiot
pussy bitch.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
Andrew's homophobic and I think he's a fag.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
Yeah, Well, that. I mean, being homophobic is like the
most faggy thing you could do, is it. I mean,
there's like be homophobic, and then there's suck a cock
as a man, and then there's spray paint. I am
a faggot hater.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Can I tell you a story I've never told anyone
before and it somewhat relates to that?

Speaker 3 (18:57):
Oh oh boy, okay, just I.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
Save it for the finale. I'm just kidding.

Speaker 3 (19:03):
Leave me, leave out, leave out any specific places, so
that way you don't incriminate yourself, because if I think that,
the Supreme Court recently ruled there's no statute of limitations
for hate crimes. Gotcha? Gotcha?

Speaker 1 (19:15):
So I was working in best Buy in Princeton, and
it was the six weeks after I got dumped and
before I started.

Speaker 3 (19:23):
Dating Jen your only single time.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yes, and my ex was in college doing her college stuff. Probably,
you know, getting blown out? Shut the fuck up? Yeah? Probably? Oh, dude,
it don't happen to I don't want to. I don't
care that it happened. You don't spread your pain to
everybody else.

Speaker 3 (19:41):
Oh no, it's I'm over it, dude. You just get
over it.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
Did I talk to my mom? The other day, I go,
I have this, I have this. No, I was talking
about the cat dated and I've told everyone in my life.
I go, my biggest fear is he is one eye.
I don't want him to get any kind of infection
because then you got a blind cat that's shitting in
a diaper for the next fifth teen years because he's
only two.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
Then you got to put it in the bathtub and
yeah for a.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
While, exactly here take a swim. But I was talking
to my mom, I was like, yeah, David's got this
weird breath thing. His breath fucking stinks and not like
a normal cat, like he's got like an issue. I
think cats have good breath, dental I love smelling cat breath.
You have to be a contrarian with everything, don't you.

(20:25):
I just love it. Sometimes I save it in jars
and smell cat breath.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
I only have but one cat, so I don't know.
Maybe other cats stink, but my cat is perfect.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
That's like guys with their chicks pussies. It's like, well
just kind of smells like water.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
Yeah, maybe, dude. I've met dudes who have told me like, oh,
it's stinks.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
But well, no, that's fair. But I think there's a
percentage of the guy saying, oh, it's just like water,
who's their chicks fucking pussies?

Speaker 3 (20:50):
Absolutely?

Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yeah, absolutely, for sure.

Speaker 3 (20:52):
Yeah. I mean just like there's a percentage of people
who are like, no, my mom doesn't have kleptomania, but
she does.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
Why a rider's kid? I don't.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
I don't want to incriminate myself.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
Yes, okay, So I was talking to my mom and
I was like, David's got this word breath thing, blah
blah blah, and she goes, it's probably just an infection,
an affection. It's like, hey, man, that would be like
if you went, hey, I have a stomach ache and
you were concerned about greater things, and I went, it's
probably cancer. There's a lot of cancer going around nowadays.

Speaker 3 (21:28):
It's probably just an ulcer that's rupturing.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
Hey, we went to high school. Now, there was a
Spanish teacher. No no, no, no, no no. I don't think
you're gonna know where thin, white face, black hair missus
begins with the W.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
Yes, I do remember both the Spanish teachers. There was Gomez,
the thick one, and then the other one. Oh my god,
I don't remember, but I remember, I'll just like a
student teacher, wasn't she.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
No, no, no, not this lady. So maybe there was
someone else or something like that. I don't know, because
this is an older not old, but older lady.

Speaker 3 (22:11):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (22:11):
And the other she always does laps around my mom's neighborhood,
just just does laps because she lives down the street.
And fucking the other day, her husband was outside and
she goes, all right, I love you, I see you later, honey.
This guy waves to me every day, nicest guy in
the world. He was just sitting on a chair in
his backyard. She went on her walk, came back, touched

(22:32):
him on the shoulder.

Speaker 3 (22:34):
Gone, someone dry by him in his backyard.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah, fucking triads, a bunch of Asian guys on craw rockets,
ripping through the fucking one eighth of an acre backyard.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
I didn't know they had made their way that far east.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
Yeah, but I just I felt so bad for him,
And that brought me to completely forget what today is
and what tomorrow is and all of that shit.

Speaker 3 (23:04):
Tomorrow's your birthday.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
And today's the two year anniversary of my dad dying.

Speaker 3 (23:08):
Oh, that's sad that I had to be the day
before your birthday.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yeah, I told the cop on the phone as she
was telling me, And I felt real stupid in the
moment doing it, but it was literally the only words
that came out of my mouth. And it makes me
sound selfish, but it's not what I meant. It's it
just was like, give me one more day. I kind
of meant. She was like, unfortunately he's passed on boa
and I was just like, but tomorrow's my birthday. As
if that would you know, you know, oh yeah, you

(23:34):
could just go, oh yeah, well get them to you. You
can have them through the weekend.

Speaker 3 (23:37):
Then well that's a you know, like everybody reacts differently
to everything. It's probably a completely normal thing like that
people say all the time, like not specifically their birthday,
but oh but we're supposed to do this or we
had this planned or something like that. Yeah, and there's

(23:58):
nothing wrong with that. It's like you're allowed to be
selfish when huge things happen, you know.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
Well see, and that's that's that's kind of what I
wanted to clarify. I know, I know how that sounds
like if someone said that, I would immediately be like, oh,
that's a it's a selfish thing you went into real
quick there, and that's okay. You know, you were in
a moment of shock or whatever. But I didn't feel
at all selfish in that. It was almost like a
bargaining thing in the immediate I almost was in my head.

(24:27):
I was like, no, no, no, I don't need my birthday,
just bring them back. As silly as that trade sounds,
it's just I was on my knees with my mother
screaming in the background.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
You know, sure, well, yeah, I mean that's like that's
the thing is selfish doesn't.

Speaker 1 (24:39):
Have to have a negative connotation.

Speaker 3 (24:42):
We yeah, we attach connotations to everything, right, Like it
can just be like that. That's like the thing. And
in Buddhism, it's like so hard to get your head around.
Is like not being attached to the emotions. It's just
like or the things or the people in your life,
like but letting them be. And that doesn't mean you

(25:02):
don't love people. It doesn't mean, you know, it doesn't
mean any of the things you probably want to just
jump to. It's more about like like one, not trying
to control outcomes, two not trying to change the way
you feel, and three it's just about acceptance and just

(25:24):
being present right then and there, and like that was
probably like I mean, you go through every day right
distracted by it's just like just so distracted. You're never
in the moment at any time in a normal day.
It's like you're thinking about all the things you have
to do. You're working, you're cooking, you're cleaning, you're helping

(25:45):
people around the house. Even when you get a moment
to relax, you probably watch a movie or you're doing
something that involves your brain, and you're never just like
sitting there feeling the moment, feeling whatever it is that's
going through you emotionally, mentally. And that moment when you

(26:06):
said to the police officer, oh, well, but it's my
birthday tomorrow or however you said it sure, And that
was probably the first time, I mean, and it's in
it the fact that you're like you say, like, oh,
I just maybe it was bargaining, But the fact that
you kind of just like don't even have an explanation

(26:27):
for it kind of tells me. It's like, well, that
was probably the first time in a long time you
were just in the moment, you know, you were just
right there, present and it's like, yeah, you were like
maybe trying to think about, oh how do I change this,
doing a little bit of that bargaining, but you couldn't,
you know, so it's just like, yeah, it's just like

(26:48):
a slap in the face. You just hit. You're just
where do you go? What do you do? And at
moments like that, maybe I don't know, it probably took
you a few seconds or a minute or something. I
don't know how long it took you, but then you
probably just went right back into oh, well, what do
I do next? How do I help my mother? What's

(27:11):
who do I call? Do I go to the hospital?
Like all these things immediately come back and they take
you out of the moment, right You're already planning for
the future and trying to plan outcomes and do all
this shit. But yeah, those moments like they're real, like
they stick with you for a reason, like they're they're

(27:33):
like growing changing, They're the most important moments, you know,
like even if it was really sad, Yeah, it's just
like it's it is. It is not to I hate
that like platitude cliche thing where it's like, oh, everything
is learning experience or everything happens for a reason or whatever.
But it's like, if you don't want to live in

(27:55):
misery and regret, you have to you have to see
it that way, you know, or or you're just always
going to be down when you think about it, and
you can be sad, But it's like, do you always
want to be sad? When you think about it?

Speaker 1 (28:10):
Does anyone? Oh no, that's a good yeah when you
think about it. You say, I was gonna say, does
anyone want to be sad? You know?

Speaker 3 (28:17):
Like sometimes you need to be.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
Need to be and want to.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
Be are two different things, though, But I don't want
but at least where I'm at in my life now,
I don't want to fool myself, I don't want to
deceive myself, you know. So it's like if I'm sad,
I don't want to like lie to myself that I'm not.
But I also don't want to fling and and.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
I say, I say, well, I say myer, I say
those words. Yeah right, Oh I get that too, But
but to me, that's not but you're not. No, I see,
I'm not correcting you. I'm just I see a little differently.
It's it's you're not It's not a sadness you're falling
into I'm gonna to be sad the rest of my life.

(29:01):
Like sadness is okay, you can still operate in sadness.
You what you can't call into is like a depression.
That's when it starts. I don't want to use it
like a clinical term, but I'm saying something deeper than
a sadness, something that almost affects you physically. Maybe I'm
just tearing them differently because there's things that make me
sad every day. That's like calling, you know, this guy
a racist and then David Duke. They're not the same thing,

(29:23):
you know, I get that.

Speaker 3 (29:25):
The Duke's brother, he's black, Yeah, David David Duke, Duke's
brother from another mother, Yeah, Jamal Duke, the same father,
Dwan Duke. Yeah. But no, I think so I'm not
you're not correcting me, because I totally get your point,
but I think you're just kind of missing mind. The

(29:45):
point is, so it's not like I'm saying, oh, well,
when you feel sad, think about other things to make
yourself happy. That's just more attachment, that's more changing your outcomes.
That's more of when you feel sad, You've got to
acknowledge that you're sad, and you've got to try and
unpack why you feel sad, and you've got to try

(30:07):
and accept that you're sad. That's the key. You just
and and acceptance will help you move on. You You
you literally can't stay sad forever, right, Eventually you're gonna
have for stuff to do. No, you're gonna have another
list to make.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
No, I'm gonna be sad, That's true. I will have
to make another warning too, lest You're.

Speaker 3 (30:25):
Right, you'll be You'll be too busy to be sad
at some point, and then you can go back to
being sad later. But yeah, like there's really like the
point I'm trying to get across is that even though
like death anniversaries and stuff, they can be a reminder
of really bad time or really you know. So so

(30:47):
for instance, like every year your birthday doesn't have to
be a bad day or a sad day, or you
don't have to force yourself to be somber in in
remembrance or anything. Like You're allowed to have your birthday
and you're allowed to just wake up one day and
feel good on your birthday, you know, and either or

(31:08):
you can wake up and feel sad, and either one
is okay, right. But the point is is that you
don't have to affix yourself to a specific feeling indefinitely
or at all. You just have to process that. You
just have to accept it and try and and try
and feel it and move on.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
I think that's my biggest problem with the whole thing
is the I don't like accepting what I know to
be the absolutely the only definite fact is that he's
not coming back, and my brother's not coming back. And
you said about the birthday, well to the day before,
maybe the next day. Remember a year later, we put
the cat down on my birthday. So it was like,

(31:52):
so I get what you're saying, and I know you're
just using that as a gentle example, but like, I
don't need to be happy on my birthday anymore. I'll
find another day, Saint Patrick's Day or fucking flag Day
or something. I'm a big time flag day guy.

Speaker 3 (32:06):
Okay, I like Boxing Day.

Speaker 1 (32:09):
Uh fucking my cat likes Boxing Day because he's British,
and I just I can't stand it.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
I thought that was Canadian and I think it's British.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
Isn't Canadian? Pretty much British don't they have on their
money now they got cucked on their money. You're thinking
of Montreal.

Speaker 3 (32:25):
That's Canada.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah, that's part of Canada. That's like going Arkansas. You go,
that's America, and you go, yeah it is. It's a
little different than Oregon though.

Speaker 3 (32:34):
And they do have a different language in Arkansas.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
Jen's dad lived in Arkansas for a while.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
Actually, what dialect did he speak? What dialect? Or trailer?

Speaker 1 (32:44):
Well, the warm kind? He burned it death in a trailer.

Speaker 3 (32:48):
Okay, Well, that's that's nice, dude.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
One last thing I gotta deal with I'll put it downway.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
Well, I mean, it's better than a cold one. Oh.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Sorry, I was thinking about myself in death again. That's
general what I do.

Speaker 3 (33:01):
Oh dude, I'm so glad my parents are on the
other side of the country. I'm not gonna have to
deal with their shit when they're dead.

Speaker 1 (33:07):
My fucking plan was always Pat cleans himself up, but
not enough to like move out and stuff. So he
just takes care of my parents as they age elderly
and pass away at ninety nine years old in their
bed and whatever. And now I'm fucking on the hook,
and you know what's sorry, my aunt just went into
a home. Right, Oh boy, my aunt Marie.

Speaker 3 (33:31):
How much older is your aunt then your mom?

Speaker 1 (33:34):
A few years but not a few, like few years,
a few like twelve? Uh probably seven?

Speaker 3 (33:41):
Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
But also Aunt Marie's had a rough fucking life. Okay,
is this the Muslim? No? No, no, no, no, that's my cousin,
Aunt Marie is. She was married to the hunter who
had disability. And when anytime people use the argument like
guns bad, guns bad, all guns bad, I always point
to my uncle. My uncle was on disability. But they
didn't make enough money even with his disability to like

(34:05):
live in a fucking what is it called a home?
Townhouse in Trenton, like in a bad part of Trenton too.
I'm just we're past it. I'm just saying all everything. Yeah,
but they lived and he would go out on the
weekends with his buddies and he would hunt, and his

(34:25):
buddies would be able to lift the stuff and whatever,
and they dress it. And for fucking forty years or
fifty years, all they ate was venison and fish.

Speaker 3 (34:33):
What are you hunt in Trenton?

Speaker 1 (34:35):
No? No, yeah, no, they would probably go to the
I don't even know where you go for I was
gonna say the Pocono's, but I and yeah here, I
have always thought the Pocono's were tropical. That's how dumb
I am.

Speaker 3 (34:45):
Mountains.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
I didn't know they were in Pennsylvania for the longest time.

Speaker 3 (34:49):
It's like the only rocky part of Pennsylvania.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
Mm hm.

Speaker 3 (34:53):
New Jersey's so weird though, because you can be in
a city and you can drive for five minutes and
be in a pretty kind of rural suburb and then
you can drive for five more minutes and be in
the middle of fucking nowhere, just like trees everywhere as
far as the eye can see, just blocking everything. It's
a weird state like that. So yeah, I'm I mean,

(35:15):
that's why there's dead deer all over the fucking freeway.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
There really are. Yeah, it's uh, but but that was
That's always been Again, it's a totally anecdotal argument. Anytime
anyone's like, dude, don't need guns to go blo, I
always say, well, my my uncle in an instance, did
he did use it there in that way? So I
have one example. I have one example of how cool
guns are. You want to hear something real.

Speaker 3 (35:37):
Cross, I have an example.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
He died probably ten years ago, and she moved into
her mother's house and there is a cooler in there
that has been turned off for ten years.

Speaker 3 (35:49):
Your meat, Oh shit, well it's probably liquefied by now.
You can just go open the plug, you know, right out.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
Oh that was the worst thing I've ever seen on
this show. What what'd you just do?

Speaker 3 (36:05):
I just fucking coughed the lugie into my can.

Speaker 1 (36:08):
To your can of mountain? No? No, what is it? Monster?

Speaker 3 (36:12):
Sorry? Monster? Yeah, but it's a it's an empty can.
I'm not going to redrink the lukie.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Okay, that's still great. Did you have to do it
right into the camera?

Speaker 3 (36:20):
Yeah, dude, because if I didn't, if I like held
my head off camera like this was I think I
was doing sucking someone's dick.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
A little bit?

Speaker 3 (36:29):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
I guess I could. I could picture that, you know.
Fucking Uh? What was I saying? Warm?

Speaker 3 (36:37):
Moude? No?

Speaker 1 (36:38):
Wait, my aunt? Oh they just checked my aunt into
a home, and my mother's doing all we were just
talking about life and shit like that. My mother's doing
all this paperwork for her. She's chasing it because Marie
has no one else. Her kid's a fucking scumbag and whatever.
So she's chasing it, chasing all this paperwork and getting

(36:58):
it all organized.

Speaker 3 (36:59):
On her certificate, like all that shit.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
Well, so they're gonna sell her house so she can
move into that home, and they're gonna do this and that,
So she's she's paying all or she's figuring out how
to pay all the back taxes that Mario's and fucking
you know, all the PaperWorks in order.

Speaker 3 (37:15):
This is one thing I think we do need the
government for, not even because like everybody is not going
to have a family member to help out. It's just
like families need help with this shit too. It's like
there's a lot of shit involved with moving a person
into a home, even if you're paying for it. And
I assume like you're not going to just dump her

(37:37):
off in some you know, like some state funded shithole.
You're selling the house. The house money is going to
go to getting her like a pretty decent spot she likes.

Speaker 1 (37:48):
Where she's at. I think it is a Medicaid or
Medicare or one of those ones. I think at a
certain point, like my mother had to come off of
her own insurance and go on meta.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
Yeah, at a certain point.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so so I think it's one of
those situations where Marie's old enough where it's like they're
starting to take that. So it takes that. But apparently
she likes it. She's very comfortable with it. She was
one of those people who was so I'm not due,
I'm not going, and then you know, they get called
buck you fuck you. Don't let him touch me. He's black.
That's my chair. Marie would shout that. By the way. Uh,

(38:24):
Marie's got a history of saying really inappropriate things all
the time. But she's dr yeah, yeah, yeah, go for
her free speech. Okay, she loves Elon.

Speaker 3 (38:34):
She keeps it real.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
She doesn't know what a tweet is.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
Okay, well it's called an axe now, stupid.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Yeah, I should have known that.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
That's why. That's why she's like, you.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Made an axe, you fucking Maron, fucking liberal cook. Get
out of my facility, Ramone. Carry this scumbag out. I saw,
I'm att saw you gotta go, buddy, Miss Marie, you
to leave.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
It's gonna be her baptim soon anyway, Ramone.

Speaker 1 (39:05):
I need a spongebath.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
I like the folds lifted up.

Speaker 1 (39:10):
So my mother's up till two in the morning, like
every night the last two weeks, digging through all her
shit and like finding all the stuff from Marie and
organizing it and this and that, and I have been
saying to her since my dad died, Hey, can we
just make an XL or a word document and you
list like where you have life insurance, where you have

(39:30):
this and that? Like, so it's not a fuck. So
I'm not calling every life insurance company when she passes,
and in a situation I've never done before. Yeah, I'm
calling Clobe Life and going, do you know my mommy?
She's not here anymore? Can I have money? Like? What
are we talking about?

Speaker 3 (39:48):
She's so your mom is uh? Does she have like
one of those fire boxes, you know, the like the
they have a little key And it's like, I.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
Say, she just gave it to me. I have one? No,
should give me an empty one? She don't want to
keep it anymore?

Speaker 3 (40:04):
Oh okay, so what? Okay?

Speaker 1 (40:07):
So I know you'll juice in my eye?

Speaker 3 (40:10):
Oh here, I know enough about my dad to know
that if he dies, he'll probably have a will in
a safe deposit box, and he'll probably have a copy
around the house. That's just what I know about my
mom or my dad. And I know enough about my
mom to know that she wouldn't even know how to

(40:32):
file a will with an attorney or what is the
fucking person who does the stamp the uh? What are
those people who.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
Do notary or something?

Speaker 3 (40:43):
Notary?

Speaker 2 (40:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (40:44):
Yeah, notary. Yeah. So like my mom will probably just
be a war of the state or something and just
they'll sit. They'll mail me some ashes in eighteen years.
But it's like, I know enough about my dad to know, Okay,
I have some reasonable leads. You have no clue at
all where any of your mom's death stuff is.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
I mean no, no, and I would have to dig
through just an incredible amount of shit to try and
find it. But that's the irony, isn't it. She's seeing
how much of a hassle it's gonna be. Yeah, and
she's still not you know, I'll get around to it.

Speaker 3 (41:21):
Everyone's crying.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
I told you I got some kind of I got
baked juice in my eye and I poured water in
it while you were talking. It is fucked right now.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
You look like you got sprayed. Look, oh that's cool.
Do you want to go put your head in the toilet. No,
it's gonna No, that's where Robin Williams. I'm not gonna
put my head where I come. Okay, disgusting animal. Yeah,
I lit my head on the carpet either.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
I think I had lotional ma hands too. Fuck. This
hurts so bad. I can't open my fucking eye.

Speaker 3 (41:57):
If you add a third ingredient, it'll neutral. That's the
rule of threes.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
What's the third ingredient? Hot sauce? Is there enough capsation
in that? Clean my eye?

Speaker 3 (42:07):
Up?

Speaker 1 (42:07):
Glass? Just a ruble bunch of glass in your eye? Hey,
they did something in the first season of OZ and
I want to know if it's real.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
What did they do in the first season of US?

Speaker 1 (42:16):
So O'Reilly They were trying to kill some old mob
boss and O'Reilly obviously Mayhem from the All State commercials
or whatever. Okay, he was crushing up glass, very very
fine and putting it in this guy's food. And eventually
the idea was after weeks or months or whatever, there
would be so many micro scratches in his stomach it

(42:39):
would eventually burst.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
Really, even months of eating glass.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
No, because you can't eat glass, and the smaller the
glass the better your results. So really jagged, like big
pieces of glass in your mouth, you can crunch them
up and break them up real small with your teeth.

(43:07):
You don't even have to move the glass around with
your tongue. You can just like grit your teeth and
break it up real slow. That's how a lot of
these guys, who they're illusionists, but they're like extreme body fuckers,
they do real glass eating. And that's how you do it.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
Is that what uh what's his name? Does street magical
black people? You know when he bites? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
see him when he bites the glass.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
I think he does. And I think he uses like
blood capsules or stuff or something, uh because uh, or
maybe he just does cut himself. I don't know, but yeah,
he literally does swall.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
Don't think. I don't think he bleeds though he never
really needs when he does it.

Speaker 3 (43:44):
Uh, doesn't he bleed when he sticks the needle through
his arm?

Speaker 1 (43:49):
Maybe even if it's not chewing glass?

Speaker 3 (43:50):
Yeah, okay, yeah, I haven't seen it in a while,
but yeah, several illusionists do this. I've seen Darren Brown
eat glass. But yeah, you can swallow it, and the
smaller you bite it, the better. It'll come out your asshole.
So I think that it's actually wrong. The show OZ
about guys in jail.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
Yeah, the first season of OZ, maybe medically there's medical
misinformation in the first season of OZ.

Speaker 3 (44:18):
Then this first season of Doctor OZ has some medical misinformation.

Speaker 1 (44:24):
Fucking what was I going back to war mode? War mode?
Or was there something else?

Speaker 3 (44:29):
Well, there's your aunt going into the home, and then
there's war mode.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
So they ain't going in the home. Was mostly just
about the irony of not of understanding what a burden
you're leaving to somebody, but still saying eh, yeah, eh here.

Speaker 3 (44:46):
You want to know something ironic. Ever since I was
a kid, I've been seeing these fucking ads for smoking,
and they show like black lungs, and they show graphs
of how much money you waste over a life time.
They show like black teeth, and they make it look
really uncool because the kids don't want to do it

(45:06):
at parties. And now as an adult, those implications are
even more salient. They're like, I understand them with grave imperatance,
but I don't give a fuck. I smoke like eleven
cigarettes a day, sometimes thirteen, and I don't care that

(45:28):
I'm gonna have be a burden on my kid in like,
I don't know, twenty five thirty years, because he's gonna
have to fucking clean my stoma for me.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
I think that your stomach's gonna rot out from it.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
No, you can have a stoma in your oh, in
your throat.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
Yeah, wouldn't that be a tray cole?

Speaker 3 (45:46):
Yeah? But the hole is the stoma?

Speaker 1 (45:48):
Oh I thought I thought the stoma is the fact
that a piece comes out of it.

Speaker 3 (45:54):
Well, yeah, I mean maybe it is. Maybe the I
don't know, maybe there's a diff thing for the whole.
But I know it's a stoma in both spots, so
maybe it's just a little piece that attaches.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
No, a stoma is a surgical opening in the abdomen. Oh.

Speaker 3 (46:10):
Really, So what's the thing in your throat called?

Speaker 1 (46:13):
What's a throat hole called?

Speaker 3 (46:17):
Not the hole? The little plastic thing creak?

Speaker 1 (46:21):
Trachy o stomy, trachea stomy, stony. Tracheostomy is a procedure.
Oh is a procedure, Oh, trach stone?

Speaker 3 (46:30):
What's the tube? Tell me?

Speaker 1 (46:32):
The tube the throat called tube is an opening surgical
surgically created. Yeah, it's the trachea stomy. It's not the tube.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
What's that tube called? You want to know the name
of the tube. It's a baby cop It's a man
of COTTI.

Speaker 1 (46:48):
What a man cos? Is that a fucking one of
those Italian things.

Speaker 3 (46:51):
It's one of those like tube poodles.

Speaker 1 (46:53):
I haven't had shells and cheese in like the longest time.

Speaker 3 (46:57):
I had it yesterday for thinking it was a good Yeah,
my wife made it. It wasn't like my grandma's because
my grandma did it like the poverty way with American cheese.
So my wife made it like fancy with like age cheddar,
and it was like it was really creamy and stuff.
It was really good, had a crispy layer on top
and everything. But I just missed that. It's just like

(47:19):
that poverty mac and cheese.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
You know, you're talking about mac and cheese. I'm talking
about stuff, fucking stuff noodles.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
Oh, you're talking about those big giant shells full of
the cocatta cheese.

Speaker 1 (47:28):
Wikatta and fuck that's gross tomatoes. So oh yeah, that's great.
I thought you were I thought you were telling me
your grandmother used to make those stuffed shells with fucking
American cheese. I was like, oh my god, this kid
was abused so bad.

Speaker 3 (47:40):
It sounds pretty good.

Speaker 1 (47:41):
No, it doesn't stop. It sounds gross. It sounds like
something you make in a lunch room and dare so
for the fucking retarded kid to eat it.

Speaker 3 (47:49):
Oh, dude, like when we used to make Brendan eat
the French dressing, I drink it.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
I couldn't do that shit. I thought that was the
grossest fucking shit in the world. When like Jared Inger
Saw would fucking sit there mixing up barbecue sauce, ketchup
mustard mayo and they're like, you will the toast it now?

Speaker 3 (48:11):
Fuck?

Speaker 1 (48:11):
Oh, I don't want to taste that monstrosity you made
on your plate. Why don't you eat shit and die?

Speaker 3 (48:16):
How much were you give me to eat it? Do?

Speaker 1 (48:19):
I'll fucking put a gun to your head and kill
you if I had one. Right now, Jesus, I'm in
warm mode?

Speaker 3 (48:25):
What is? What is warm?

Speaker 1 (48:27):
Ode again?

Speaker 3 (48:27):
And why are you so unhappy? Because it's an anniversary
of your your birthday? I'm going to war on birthday.

Speaker 1 (48:35):
I'm gonna start saying that the people at work, so
they think I'm actually a fucking idiot when I say, well,
it's the anniversary of my birthday this week, so I'm
probably gonna take off no uh oh, all right, A
couple of things. One, let's go down the warm mode checklist. Here.
Silent Mary. She's some horror on Twitter who uh was

(48:58):
nasty to me and rude to me and stuff like that,
right for no reason. I was very polite and very
professional and I was like, hey, just reaching out seeing
if you want to be on the show. She's like,
you're a fucking loser and you're uh, you suck and you're.

Speaker 3 (49:13):
Office feel like this is the same way Elliott Rogers
video started.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Well, it ended the exact same way as last year
when I tried to do this to a trainee to
get to going deeper show. Now, all you have to
do is go to Silentmary six six to six dot com,
which is the same as her Twitter name, and that
is in the bio on my Twitter.

Speaker 3 (49:33):
We own you.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
I have some other things behind the scenes I will
probably be working on as well that I can't talk
about here. Second one is a deacon.

Speaker 3 (49:46):
A deacon, yeah, is that like a a character or
a piece in a like a World of Warcraft board.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
The next one's an orc. I have an orc that
I need to war again. No, it's this deacon that
runs the cemetery where my dad and my brother are right.
So the other day they put out a notice like
or a little while ago, but there was no timeline.
It was like the end of the year. Basically, collect

(50:19):
your stuff from the graves. You can't have anything personalized
or anything anymore. Like my mom has a couple of
cardinals on top of it, like little birds, little fake birds,
and like a very nice display for my brother and
my dad.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
So you can't have like any can you put flowers?

Speaker 1 (50:39):
You put flowers, you know, they must be six inches
from the blah blah blah, like real anal detailed shit.

Speaker 3 (50:49):
I would move them somewhere else.

Speaker 1 (50:52):
Well, that's the thing. So my mother has been going
back and forth asking them like what is acceptable, what's not?
What's this? What's that? And they were supposed to have
have the end of the year. They were supposed to
be to the end of the year they can keep
their stuff there. So not only was their personal stuff
that my mom put down there and bought, but other
people had visited their graves and Pat's ex girlfriend left

(51:14):
something there for him, a bracelet. She just recently died,
so there ain't no getting that back. But I guess
also she won't feel bad about it, so there's that too.

Speaker 3 (51:23):
Yeah, that's a silver lining, I guess.

Speaker 1 (51:27):
Yeah, just other stuff. So they took it all and
dumped it in a box and threw it away before
the deadline and anything else. And just wow, my mother's
and someone else's but left people's who are a total
fucking shit mess, even worse than any of the other
ones left them entirely there. So it's run by this deacon.

Speaker 3 (51:48):
I'm not gonna say, almost sounds personal.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
Well, and see that's what annoys me. He came in
and he took over this cemetery. I didn't realize the
business of a cemetery is like a thing, like really,
I would just think it's like, hey, do you want
some land, Yeah, all right, put it there, and you
just you take the fees, you you know, take it.

Speaker 3 (52:07):
I guess they got to keep it open forever. So
it's like, yeah, but that's.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
What I mean. You pay ten grand up front for
a plot. They throw that money in the bank and
pay this guy thirty bucks a fucking week to cut
the grass or whatever. Like that's one thing paid that
money for is to put it aside and use it
for maintenance.

Speaker 3 (52:24):
Yeah, but then every year, every year there's like a
fucking burst pipe and then there's inflation. It's like it's
just like social Security, right, Like in theory, it all
makes sense, there should be enough, but like every year,
some new shit comes and throws a wrench in the plan.
I'm not saying that these guys are like good deacons

(52:44):
or anything like fuck their cemetery. I'm just saying that
it's like a it's a legit business with with business
expenditures and and consequences, all these things you might not
think about when you're grieving or something like that. But yeah,
it's like I feel for the people who work at

(53:07):
cemeteries because I worked in the funeral home and I
never interacted with families after I picked a dead body up.
So once I was at the funeral home with the
dead body, I didn't see that person's family anymore. So
the funeral director had to deal with money and details

(53:31):
and clothing and makeup and all the stuff that's like
personal that would really like that would bug me, you know,
like that would be tough, and I assume it's probably
tough for some people in the cemetery industry too, because
they have to give bad news and they have to
do all this shit with families. But this deacon sounds

(53:53):
like a real character, though I'm not giving him any
fucking creditor leeway.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
He drives a land rover.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
Oh my god, dude, you know he focks kids in
the back.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
I was gonna say, you missed the you missed the
big obvious joke you went for, you know, the actual
thing of they have to spend that money on maintenance
and a piper's. I was gonna say, they're gonna move
these ten priests to South America.

Speaker 3 (54:14):
And I see, I see, you say it's such an
obvious joke. But not all of us are raised Catholic.
I don't like, I don't know what the fuck a
deacon is.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
Uh, you could assume I fucking my brother and dad
are buried there. It's not a Muslim cemetery.

Speaker 3 (54:30):
Well, it could just be some So that's the thing.
It's like, I just coming from someone who was not
raised in any sort of religion. I don't really I understand.
Catholicism is like a different breed of Christianity. There's like
a lot of specific beliefs that are different. But uh,

(54:53):
the in my eyes as a kid and young adult
and everything, it was always for me like, oh, all
of that is the same. So it's like my mind
always jumps to, Oh, cemetery for you is just like
a regular cemetery. You know. It's like I only notice occasionally,

(55:15):
like when I visit my wife's grandpa's cemetery grave with her,
it says like Saint fucking Agnew of Sorrow and and
liquid diets or something, you know, Catholic cemetery. But yeah,
I'm certain that the one my grandma and grandpa are
buried at is just like you know, woodlawn plot or

(55:38):
something like that.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
Uh, maybe it's a positive. Yeah, I don't even think.
I mean, this one was just close. This one was
across the street from her.

Speaker 3 (55:48):
That's so, do you have to be Catholic to get
buried there?

Speaker 1 (55:51):
I don't know. She didn't have to like certify anything
or whatever. And I want to say, that doesn't mean shit.
I was gonna I I've walked around that cemetery. I've
seen some mohammeds, so I don't.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Know, Well, you don't get to pick your name.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
Oh you know the saddest one. What's that that same cemetery?
This kid I knew name Anthony called him aunt obviously
he his his baby brother is buried there, and I
see it and the picture is him playing with a
little car. Uh huh. Think about the horrible ways a

(56:30):
baby could die. Give me your top three crush to death? No, no,
that's not in your top three? Okay, no, no, no, that's
not how he died. Oh okay, um I scalded out
from a boiling pot of water. No good, guess though,

(56:51):
that seems horrendous.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
Yeah, uh, mauled by a dog?

Speaker 1 (56:59):
No? Oh that also? Does he really bad too? Okay,
say there's this cat that's really bad. He came into
your house and he's like not terrible. Actually, say he's
really sweet, but you're a drug addict and you hate
him because he's there. Uh huh yeah, okay, I see
where are you going? Okay, now do you think it's wrong?
And again we're using a cat in your context to

(57:22):
pick that cat up by its ankles and smash its
head against the wall.

Speaker 3 (57:27):
Well, I'm mad because I'm a drug addict, right.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, real mad? Probably?

Speaker 3 (57:32):
Well, how how else do I communicate that to a
cat if I don't speak cat, and you just pick
it up and smash it a few times and then
it'll get like, oh, he's a mad guy.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
He took his two year old baby by the ankles
and smashed his head against the wall multiple times.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
Why would he do that because he's crying?

Speaker 1 (57:53):
Because he was a fucking scumbag drug addict. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (57:57):
See, that's how I know you're not a parent, man,
because it's like here, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
Sometimes man, they just drive you up a wall.

Speaker 3 (58:04):
Yeah, dude, it's like when you're a parent. You hear something,
you're like that, You're like, okay, well how long had
he been crying for? You know?

Speaker 1 (58:12):
It's uh. I when I walk in the cemetery, which
is kind of few and far between now, but when
I do, I always walk past that grave and I'm
just like, oh that is yeah.

Speaker 3 (58:25):
What a cry baby.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
So I'm going to war with this deacon, right, Okay.
What it is is they dumped all of our personal stuff.

Speaker 3 (58:37):
So I yeh, that's insane.

Speaker 1 (58:39):
Yeah. I called his secretary, and my mom called the
office earlier and she was like, where is that stuff?
Blah blah blah, blah blah. She hadn't been there in
a couple of days. It was a couple of days
ago they did it. The woman on the phone said,
probably a dumpster somewhere like that was her.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
Oh my god, Yeah, I would walk over there. For one.
You got to steal something and throw it away in
a dumpster or really nasty one with like deer body parts,
so you like, yeah, you go in there, you take
their golden chalice of blood or whatever the fuck they do,
or like their their their blesh truscuts, and then you
fucking throw that in the dumpster, spitting that receptionist face. Yeah,

(59:18):
get your loved ones out of there, dude. Put them
in the plot where my grandma and grandpa are at Man,
we we my dad at least he never fucking calls
me bitching about any rules, but he doesn't really go
and visit them or care about him at all.

Speaker 1 (59:31):
Yeah, but my dad and brother weren't big on liquid
diets and Saint agnews of fucking whatever you said, it's
probably not good. That was very funny. By the way,
Saint agnew the patron scene of some of dogs and
liquid diets. They're all fucking weird. There's probably a patron
scene of gambling, isn't there.

Speaker 3 (59:47):
Um? Probably, but you're not supposed to gamble, so how
does that work?

Speaker 1 (59:52):
Yeah, but there's all kinds of crazy ones. Oh, Saint
bernard Dino of Sienna is the patron saint of compulsive
gambling Bernardino. Huh, Saint Bernardino. Isn't that where this fucking
muslim shot up Google or something?

Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
Oh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Saint Bernardino. Yeah, this is a
conspiracy there. We'll have to go back and listen to
this at two time speed and figure it out.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
I so I call up, right, I call the number
that's on the website, and it's like his secretary or something.

Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
I guess right, probably the woman who snapped at your mom.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
I don't know, Yeah, it could have been. Definitely could
have been. So I call up and go, Hi, my
name is Matt.

Speaker 3 (01:00:30):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
My mother lives right by your cemetery. Anyway, stuff was
removed the other day off of the thing. I just
wanted to see how I could get in contact with
the deacons so I can get this stuff back. I
would expect it either available to pick up or dropped
off at our address, Bob before Thanksgiving I said it
a lot smoother than this too. I'm just trying to
recall it as.

Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
I said, you had it written down on your second
out path.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
No I didn't. But I was looking at Jen as
she was taking a nap in bed. I like, woke
her up to do this fucking defiant thing.

Speaker 3 (01:00:59):
Watch let me do this.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
I perform better in front of live people. The truth is,
I don't know why. I get some adrenaline and I
just start bang bang bang bang bang, let's go.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
Oh dude, I shoot huge loads on my own. But
then I have to perform, and it's just like.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Okay, well, thank you. So I call the deacon and
I just love that message. I was like, I'll expect
all of my stuff back by then to throw it
away with me, I know, but I want I want
them to tell me they threw it away so I
can let them know this is entirely unacceptable. It's funny,
you said, you know they you know you got to
go over there and smash stuff. My first response to

(01:01:37):
my mother was, she goes, they threw away all the stuff.
I go, how much was it worth? She goes, probably
about one hundred dollars. But there's sentimental stuff there, I go.
You want me to go two hundred dollars? You want
me to go do two hundred dollars worth of damage
over here? You go, and she's like no, no, And
I was like, all right, well I'll get them back
in one way or another.

Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
You want me to go have an accident one of
the pews.

Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
So I went. I went to school in this diocese,
which is like the regional you know. Okay, so you
don't know the terms. A diocese is like the regional thing. S.

Speaker 3 (01:02:09):
Yeah, I appreciate that is I always okay, wait a minute.
By regional thing, you mean like a regional office.

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
I mean the Catholic church churches in Trenton, Burlington, Princeton.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
So it's like it's a collective of them. Is the diocese.

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
It's like a county essentially, if you think, I like, yeah,
I always thought the diocese was a person. No, no,
I mean deacon would be the closest thing.

Speaker 3 (01:02:37):
Yeah, okay, but a deacon is a man, and a
diocese is a bunch of churches in as.

Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
Churches explain it that way. So deontay, I learned something
today and he goes, okay, and you go, you know,
a diocese is like a Catholic like a regional, and
you get confused halfway through and go it's like a
group of group of regionals, and he goes, what are
you trying to say? Just shut up?

Speaker 3 (01:03:07):
It's like hockey for church.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
Start freaking out, starch a fucking out yea. It's like
it's like so on you like hockey. It's like the
Atlantic Division, okay, except instead of churches or instead of
hockey teams, it's fucking you know, pre set or angels. Anyway,
I was in this diocese, I went to school. When
I went to school, there was a pedophile priest working.

Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
Of course, I mean it's statistically there had to be
what seven.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
So obviously I'm not gonna take it to press because
I ain't get molested by a priest, okay, but I
am gonna threaten it on the phone once I get
ahold of this.

Speaker 3 (01:03:42):
Oh yeah, I'm gonna want to know what father o'maly
did to my legit.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
I'm going to say, let me just remind you that
I went to school with Father Vaughan, and I kept
my mouth shut all of these years. So I'm gonna
need you to take care of what you need to
take care of, to make it right with my family,
or we're going to have a bigger problem.

Speaker 3 (01:04:02):
They send a police investigator over to your house.

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
My first thought was just going, how about I come
over there and fucking cut your head off if you
don't give my mom her bird back? And then I
was just like, you know what, I better just go
into war mode and really strategize this.

Speaker 3 (01:04:18):
How about I come over and test your faith? How
are you strategizing this? Sounds like you're just stewing.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
Well, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking strategizing a war
thing is not, you know, a single effort. You know,
obviously I shot the first shot, calling the guy. Now
I'm gonna need to work on this tonight because I'm
expecting a call back tomorrow. I may not get one.
That'll give me extra time, it'll be great. So first
you have to kind of break down. The first thing

(01:04:44):
you do is what am I looking for? What is
the end result here? What do I want out a way?

Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
Yeah? What do you want? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:04:49):
Okay? So what I want out of this is I
would accept a credit of money for my mother. They're
not doing the amount, no, maybe not or a written apology?

Speaker 3 (01:05:01):
Did they ever apologize for those like ten thousand kids
they fucked for like every year for one hundred and
something years.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
I think they posted a picture of a shy little
Asian girl and it said me so saw wee. That's
what the kind of church put out. It was like
a Yo, what if they did that? I would just
be like, you know what, that's funny enough that I
kinda I kind of forget about the other things.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
It's like that mall art where it looks like a
Pixar character, but it's like, ah, could just be a
not it's some nondescript China person, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:05:34):
Yeah, yeah, that That's what I'm talking about. So fucking
you know, there's threats I can throw out with that false, fake,
wrong threats, and obviously I can't take them publicly. But
he doesn't know that. And the whole point of warring
to me is pushing it as far as you can
go without falling off of the cliff. If they go
off the cliff, that's fine. You can't go off as well.

(01:05:57):
Isn't this gambling? Isn't this what you do when you
gamble with lives? No, it's no, how's it gambling?

Speaker 3 (01:06:05):
It's like how far can I push it?

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
Oh yeah, No, it's a gambling addiction. Yeah, it's not
gambling though. No, I know what you mean.

Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
I understand that mentality.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
It's just I understand that mentality. But I've healed myself
mentally since I felt that way.

Speaker 3 (01:06:20):
No, I just haven't felt that way about like like
a business or It's different though, when they're fucking with
your loved ones. So it's like I'm trying to get
myself in that mote. I can go that place like
on a personal level with people easily, you know. But
it's like the last time I've had like an entity,

(01:06:43):
Like I used to get so mad about Taco Bell
fucking my order up every time, and eventually it's just
like after like a hundred times of screaming and smashing
things and driving back and then driving home with just
the thing that I wanted plus maybe some sin and twists,
it's like I just stopped getting mad about it and
eat it. You know. I don't even call anymore and

(01:07:05):
complain and try and get the free coup on it,
just because it's like it just see, it's just like
for me, it's just like, oh my god, dude, I'm
just like I just don't want to be upset about this.
But for the the last time somebody fucked with my family,
What was it? It was it was like maybe a
month ago. My kid was on a field trip and

(01:07:29):
oh no, it wasn't at a field trip. It was
like they they had like a free period or something,
and they were they were all just kind of like
chilling in the classroom and my kid took a video
of the teacher saying the F word. And I was like,
uh so, why do you have that? You know, what
are you going to do with that? And he was

(01:07:49):
like he's like, I don't know if.

Speaker 1 (01:07:52):
Wu and said snitch inshoran's bitchy.

Speaker 3 (01:07:55):
I mean, that's kind of where he was going. He's like,
oh well, this teachers always being met and he always
did this and and this and that. And I was like, okay,
well here's what I'm going to say. I was like,
it looked like some of the kids in that video
were probably like antagonizing this guy, but he is a
professional and he can't be swearing in class, like this

(01:08:16):
is unacceptable. I was like, if this happens again, like
I'm going to take this video and I'm going to
bring it to your teacher like if I hear any
more of this stuff, like keep me informed, you know,
and he does, you know. And then I heard about
another incident the next day and he's like, uh, that

(01:08:37):
teacher he told me and my friend to shut the
fuck up. And I was like, are you serious? And
I was like and I was like, all right, give
me all the details right now, you know, I want
to know.

Speaker 1 (01:08:48):
If I'm so my dick's hard for you right now.

Speaker 3 (01:08:52):
I was like, I just want to know, like if
you did anything, No, keep ahead. I love measuring it.

Speaker 1 (01:08:59):
I love and it's my follow up question too, go ahead.

Speaker 3 (01:09:02):
Yeah, Like I need all the details. I need to
know if you did anything wrong or if you were
in the wrong. I need to know now so I
know how to handle this. It's like, this teacher can't
be doing this, but if you're leaving things out, you're
gonna make me look like an idiot if I go
there and try and handle your teacher for a teacher
for you. And so yeah, my kid was like he

(01:09:24):
was honest with me and he told me what happened.
But here's the thing. Is like in the video that
he showed me the first time, the kids were like
egging the teacher on. I don't know what the situation was,
but they were like messing with the teacher. And then
the teacher said the F word. And then in this
incident from you know what my kids told me, they
him and his friend were walking out and I don't

(01:09:47):
know what he even said, my kid, but the teacher
said as they were walking by them, like out through
the crosswalk, the teacher was like, oh, well, maybe if
you guys would shut the fuck up or something like that,
Like he like, the teacher was just like overhearing them,
and then just like interjected that into their conversation, and

(01:10:07):
I was like, all right, last straw. I was like,
send me the video. We're calling the school. What's the
teacher's name? And then it took like it took less
than a day. He's fired. They like his job is gone. Yeah,
And and that's the thing. That's why I gave my
son that that that talk in the first place. I
was like, look, I think it's weird that you have

(01:10:31):
this video where you're saying, oh, my teacher said the
F word, but you guys are kind of messing with him.
But the fact that he said this to you outside unprompted,
like in a crosswalk. And I don't really have any
reason to doubt my kid because there was like this

(01:10:52):
casualness about it in that first video where he's like
I forget what he said. He's like, I don't fucking care,
and it's.

Speaker 1 (01:10:59):
Like just common place. It felt common.

Speaker 3 (01:11:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I was like, all right, this
cannot be allowed in the classroom. It doesn't matter how
the kids are acting. You can't be like this if
you're the teacher. It doesn't matter if the student's eggy
Wand it doesn't matter how bad my kid gets if
you're like showing this just like casual nonchalance about the

(01:11:25):
whole thing, and like even after the bell rings, there's
still kind of like what shit that I should be
concerned about? Yeah, you've done skis and yeah the school
actually I think they said they had a video from
another kid too, from that day in the classroom, so
he had said it like multiple times in that one day.

(01:11:45):
And it's just like, yeah, I feel kind of bad
because I think I always think like, how would I
feel if I lost my job? But then I think
about when I got fired from AutoZone, right, and it's
like at the time, I was really upset about that,
and looking back, I'm I'm still like kind of annoyed,
I guess, but it's like I take full responsibility, Like

(01:12:07):
like I am the reason I got fired. I broke
the rules, admitted I broke the rules, and they had
every reason to fire me for it. You know, It's
like I should not have assumed that I was special
and that I would get special treatment when I broke
the rules. That was very arrogant of me. And this
teacher needs to be He needs to realize that too,

(01:12:29):
And and that's that's for me, like the best outcome.
I would have liked to deck him in the throat,
but I got the second best outcome.

Speaker 1 (01:12:37):
Yeah. See that's the question. My my dad used to
do that, and I actually like that we kind of get.

Speaker 3 (01:12:42):
To talk about this deck people in the throat.

Speaker 1 (01:12:44):
Oh, I mean the step before my dad screamed at
many teachers. And I was going to ask you, are
you the type that always do you more believe Deontae
or the teacher? You know how there are two different
schools of thought. There's one where it's like parents do

(01:13:04):
defend their kids too much when they're fucking up. You
did the right thing. You assessed whether or not your
kid was fucking up, and almost deserve the first part,
Like that's why you were like, tell me everything that happened.
Now again, he never deserved that. And I was going
to say when as you were saying that the authority
argument we have with cops and stuff like that, like
teachers should be at a higher standard. No, they don't

(01:13:26):
need to be these perfect creatures in the world. But
they can't say fuck off in class.

Speaker 3 (01:13:30):
Yeah they can't, and they can't. Letting it slip is
one thing, but they can't just have this like behavior
pattern right, Right, That's that's a real like red flag.

Speaker 1 (01:13:39):
So so what my dad would have done in that situation,
and what he did to multiple teachers is he assessed, hey,
are you in the wrong. And he would always say
that to me too. He said, I will defend you
to the death if someone is treating you unfairly, but
if you were in the wrong, you have to just
you know, take the blame for it if you've done
something wrong. Taught me this other thing that's kind of

(01:14:01):
applying towards my mother now, because they selectively picked off
things at the cemetery, right, and cleared off her stone
and someone else's, but then there's someone else's who's a
shit mess. And Mom's first response to this was why
did they get to keep their stuff and you took
all of mine? But what my dad would say is,
don't ever throw someone under the bus who's like slipping

(01:14:22):
under the wire just because you're being treated unfairly. You
can point out, hey, I should be allowed to keep
my stuff, but when you start whining like, well, I
get it, you're just you're a pussy. You're pussy in
the sense you're ruining it for that other guy potentially too,
like he did nothing to you.

Speaker 3 (01:14:40):
Well, yeah, I hate to drag anyone else into things unfairly,
but it is a fair point. I mean it's not
the first point and go to, but it is a
fair right, Like are they doing something that I'm not
like doing? You know what they did? They get to
keep their spot, but mine is just atrocious, Like what's up?

Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
I think my dad's point was more, yes, don't drag
someone into it. So in that instance, you need to
be pointing at the deacon and be like, other people
in this place are keeping their things, why can't I
just put my basic stuff down. You don't have to
go specific examples. The fucking Mohammed's over there get to
keep their Kuran on the.

Speaker 3 (01:15:19):
There so many people name Mohammed here. Why can't my
dad be named Akbar?

Speaker 1 (01:15:24):
I would like a new gravestone put up of two
towers and underneath it the stone will just say Philip
and Pat. But then also, never forget nine to eleven.

Speaker 3 (01:15:35):
Are your dad and brother side by side?

Speaker 1 (01:15:38):
My mom? When Pat went, they bought four gravestone or
four plots, with the understanding that I would probably end
up with my family, But God forbid something happen before
I got married and had a family, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:15:52):
Or if Jen hates you in twenty five years.

Speaker 1 (01:15:56):
Or if things don't work out for me in the
next six months, you.

Speaker 3 (01:15:59):
Know knows, Oh dude, they could.

Speaker 1 (01:16:02):
Maybe I hit the old Lincoln Park, you know, come
so numb right below my.

Speaker 3 (01:16:10):
Neck, Yeah, dude, he felt a lot of pressure above
it though, a lot of swelling.

Speaker 1 (01:16:18):
So yeah, I'm going in the warm mode on that.
The other one, the whore one I need to I
need to see.

Speaker 3 (01:16:26):
Is that your Is that your list? That's the whole
list is two people?

Speaker 1 (01:16:29):
No, I had more, but I forgot. I wrote war
mode at the top of a thing, and I started
writing stuff down and then I had to go do
something for Jen, and then I came back and I
was like, Okay, who else was I warn with? And
then I had to go piss So I forgot again, and.

Speaker 3 (01:16:44):
Dude, I had that happened. I was like sending a
message earlier for my wife for one of her porno clients,
and I was like, I think I was negotiat Oh yeah,
I was negotiating a photo set, and I kept on
getting distracted by work phone calls, and so I would

(01:17:05):
like type out two words like, you know, like pussy lips,
and then immediately have to answer my phone and be like, oh, hello, hello,
you know, and then I would try to go back
to like uh spread pussy hole and be like, oh hi, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:17:23):
This is night. How can I help you today?

Speaker 3 (01:17:24):
Yeah, yeah, it's very difficult.

Speaker 1 (01:17:26):
Yeah, you just got a multitask better. Although sometimes I
have signed my emails pussy smasher.

Speaker 3 (01:17:34):
I gotta I gotta just leave one headphone in.

Speaker 1 (01:17:38):
All right, we're gonna wrap this one up. I am
why because we do Oh, I am collecting questions I
would like to make and I'll post this on Instagram too.
Episode two nine. I will answer any questions about me,
any questions about the show, and yeah, I will about anything.

Speaker 3 (01:18:00):
I'll answer it. Yeah, any questions about my Social Security
number and credit history?

Speaker 1 (01:18:05):
Yeah, or like you know what my pussy looks like?

Speaker 3 (01:18:08):
Oh yeah, dude, we should show pussy both of us
for episode two fifty.

Speaker 1 (01:18:13):
All right, we're gonna wrap this one up.

Speaker 3 (01:18:16):
Uh yeah, what's a man's pussy look like?

Speaker 1 (01:18:22):
It's kind of like like a like a like a
like a pussy, but like like male.

Speaker 3 (01:18:32):
I feel like if a girl ever asks you for
a dick pic, she's a guy, you.

Speaker 1 (01:18:38):
Think, So, just what are you hitting chicks up on Aim?

Speaker 3 (01:18:42):
No? No, no, I'm just saying, like, when I get hit
up on aim for a dick pic, it's never a girl.

Speaker 1 (01:18:48):
Do you know how many fucking fourteen year old boys
were jerking off to other fourteen year old boys pretending
to be girls?

Speaker 3 (01:18:55):
Yeah, like all the Yeah, we we have this fucking
like false I caught me in our heads. Like nowadays,
we're like, oh my god, there's so many more people
being diagnosed as trans Now, why is it because there's
uranium in the water? It's like, no, it's because we
don't have aim anymore. Like now all the trans kids
just have to say, like, you know, I actually think

(01:19:17):
I might just be a girl inside of a boy's body.
Because they don't have that outlet, you know, where they
can just go and vocalize it. They can live the
fantasy online. The aim was taken away. Now everything is
Twitter and X and truth, social and freedom and Blue
Amendment Blue skuys. What is this a new app? I

(01:19:40):
saw that on them. It's aneam or something.

Speaker 1 (01:19:42):
It's it's it's a great way for us as a
society to really divide ourselves completely down the center. It's
the left whatever Twitter. I think Dorsey, Ah, I bet
my tongue. I think Jack Dorsey made it. But all
these conservative guys showed themselves getting banned right away I

(01:20:02):
saw on Twitter because they no, they all went on
and just wrote as a post, just wrote there are
only two genders, and then they showed it. As soon
as they clicked back, it like reloaded banned them immediately.

Speaker 3 (01:20:15):
Oh dude, man, that's a dog whistle if I ever
heard one.

Speaker 1 (01:20:19):
It's it's it's say what you want about opinions on
it it's bad. It's bad. That's a bad thing. Yeah,
I mean you're creating even deeper echo chambers. Like it's
bad for society. I don't mean it's bad. They made it.
I'm bad. It's bad that two separate ones exist, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:20:33):
Yeah, everybody needs to get off social media.

Speaker 1 (01:20:37):
Yes, yeah, I hate to sound like an old guy
saying that, but yeah, it is true.

Speaker 3 (01:20:41):
It's after episode two fifty.

Speaker 1 (01:20:43):
It's rotting people's brains.

Speaker 3 (01:20:46):
Oh dude, people's brains are rotten because they fucking keep
on eating all that seed oil and uranium water and
dunk and come and bird shit. You ever have seen
how bird shit on a newspaper?

Speaker 1 (01:21:02):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:21:03):
You like, you ever have a friend with a bird?

Speaker 1 (01:21:05):
No, Jenn Hans, I haven't. She always talked to her.
She's like Granny had a parrot, and I'm like, that's good,
Keep that fucking bird out of my house.

Speaker 3 (01:21:13):
Yeah, bird shit is like one thing. It's like, I
can't imagine I've seen friends with birds and the bird
shit all over the cage in the newspaper. I wouldn't
want to clean up bird shit. It's disgusting. And then
it's like you can't even let it out the shit
because it'll fly away.

Speaker 1 (01:21:27):
You ever walk into your shift at best Buy that
starts at ten am and ends at nine thirty pm,
and just as you're coming into the parking lot with
your spiked hair, a bird shits onto your fucking head.

Speaker 3 (01:21:40):
Uh No, that happened when I walked through a field
once with my dad.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
Yeah. Well the other one did happen to me too.

Speaker 3 (01:21:47):
That we oh, okay, so we both got shit on.

Speaker 1 (01:21:49):
I had to go in the bathroom and wash bird
shit out of my fucking hair.

Speaker 3 (01:21:53):
And then you worked all day with like a shit scalp.

Speaker 1 (01:21:56):
I really scrubbed my hair, well, not well enough, but
well it.

Speaker 3 (01:22:01):
Was well enough to put the spikes down.

Speaker 1 (01:22:03):
There was no bird shit on me anymore, maybe.

Speaker 3 (01:22:06):
Dude, I uh yeah, Like, well, there's probably still bird
shit on you, if we're being honest. If you left
any residue on your head that long during that day,
it's probably you know, built up and multiplied. It's still there.
Now we'll start calling you doodoo head, but.

Speaker 1 (01:22:24):
Uh, I'm okay, But go ahead, go ahead.

Speaker 3 (01:22:27):
When it comes to shit, I I realized the other day,
like I I reached a new point of old, Like
I understand why gold bond is a thing now.

Speaker 1 (01:22:39):
And we'll talk about it on the Patreon. Yeah, yeah,
because I am an avid gold bond user. Now, oh okay, cool, okay,
all right, we're gonna wrap this one up again. Send
me your questions on Instagram whatever I will find them. Uh,
Corey wanted to hear by the way, Corey said he
really relates to you, and I was like, how fuck

(01:23:01):
that one of our listeners. He's a good gentleman. I'm
just kidding.

Speaker 3 (01:23:05):
I don't know what do you relate to me? On? Corey? Like,
what do you gotta fucking you got a big bank
account full of gold bars and bullets, and you got
a refrigerator full of fucking deer gunk, and you gotta granny.
You're gonna fucking drop off in a in a psycho
home and asylum, and then you what do you got

(01:23:25):
in common with me?

Speaker 1 (01:23:26):
That's my life, Corey, You're your worst friend. I'm Matt,
I'm Bob the Butcher. Thanks for listening. We'll sim next.

Speaker 3 (01:23:34):
Week, you know, all his own bird over Bro.

Speaker 1 (01:23:38):
Really gonna miss you guys, And the show's over.