Adrienne & Israel On Marriage, Embracing Parenthood & Open Communication

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I think that's really when we fell in love, when
we started harmonizing on the porch. She's like, Okay, that's
my guy.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
But I know that sounds really funny.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
But imagine someone connecting with something that is so poor
who you are as a person, that's was your whole upbringing,
your whole childhood, and this person goes, I see you.
And that's how I felt in that moment, Like I
was like, wait, you know that, like culturally you know this,
and that was just like amazing to me.

Speaker 4 (00:29):
What is the song? No?

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Ideal? Normal?

Speaker 4 (00:35):
Normal? I and ould would you not fall in love?

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Would you not? Oh, Adriene Hope?

Speaker 4 (00:50):
What you said?

Speaker 3 (00:51):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Okay, Adrian Hope.

Speaker 4 (00:53):
And you see here today.

Speaker 3 (00:56):
And the cracks wild, the crowd goes crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
Do some accolade. It's not just that you're my friend
and I love you and I'm so happy to see
you today.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Did you see My face was like accolade?

Speaker 4 (01:05):
No, let's do it because people might take you for granted.
I probably take you for granted. Oh, Adrian's gonna come.
But ay, your resume is a strong one. You have
an Emmy or Emmy's.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
I have an Emmy, but like four nominations.

Speaker 4 (01:17):
Okay, four nominations. What else? You've had one hundred and
fifty jobs, different jobs. The resume goes back to nineteen.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Ninety, ninety eight, ninety nine, and that was what starting
with three LW real W Cheetah Girls.

Speaker 4 (01:33):
Yeah, what's after that?

Speaker 3 (01:35):
Cheater Girls? And then the next was I got a
deal at Deaf Jam.

Speaker 4 (01:40):
That's our era recording Artists. I can't wait till we
get into the conversation about that era.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
That was an era, because I think.

Speaker 4 (01:46):
It's a lot of it is very telling, and I'll
tell you where. I'm a little bit. Deaf Jam Era
Sign your Recorded Artists.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
A host on MTV Afternoons with Adrian Uh huh. I
got it back there.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
I got the audition to do The Real, The Real,
and then I did that for almost ten years.

Speaker 4 (02:03):
Was it that long?

Speaker 2 (02:04):
It was nine years old?

Speaker 4 (02:05):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
I started that as a twenty nine year old and
when it finished airing, I was thirty eight, about to
turn thirty.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Nine, married, yeah, with child with a baby on the
way for sure.

Speaker 4 (02:17):
Baby on the way. And The Real was amazing and
hitting all kinds of stuff. We'll talk about that time too.
But then it was the mass singer.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah, it was the day I can see your voice,
I could see you.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
We're still doing and then I joined E News and
News and then I came home.

Speaker 4 (02:35):
And in the middle of all of that, by the way,
all things Adrians and clothing line Love Woods.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Oh I had Xi XI the jewelry line, which.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
I mean, hey, that sounds weird now just hearing it
really important.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Way have I done something with my life? You have.

Speaker 4 (02:55):
And by the way, that is not even the best
part of your life to me, that's like just the career.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
That is the truth.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
My favorite part of your life is the life that
the personal life that you have manifested, and I have
witnessed you manifest since I've known you. So we're going
to get into that today. But look at you with
a solid resume.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
I actually some of the things I was like, wait,
what did I do it?

Speaker 4 (03:16):
And I'm sure we're forgetting some things.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
I'm sure, but yeah, it's all led me to hear.

Speaker 4 (03:21):
But at no point, and I've known you since round fifteen, right.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yeah, No, I met you at fourteen and a half
going on fifteen.

Speaker 4 (03:28):
So at no point since I've known you, have I
seen you. I've seen you be knocked down and get
back up. But I've never seen you just with that
thing in your face that was like, yeah, no, I'm
over this. I don't want to do it anymore like you.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
I feel like the do you see it in my face? Now?

Speaker 4 (03:46):
I still see it. Yeah, you still want to do stuff,
don't I do.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
I do want to do stuff. It's just different.

Speaker 4 (03:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
I think having a child and like being a mom
makes that so different. Like there's days that I have
to convince myself like like we.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Should be doing something, you know what.

Speaker 4 (04:04):
I mean, because you still have that thing.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
I know.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
It's it's like a torture inside of me of like
there are nights that I don't see that I'm like
I should be doing something, like or what am I
missing out on? And then there's other days that I'm like,
enjoy the season of breast.

Speaker 4 (04:19):
Well one of the exciting things for me. I was like, Yo,
I need to I've always liked since I launched a podcast,
I wanted you to be honest, we just haven't been
able to get it together. I don't know we're supposed
to do it in LA a couple of times, and
then I was like, I really want to do it
with you with Israel, because it's because I feel like
I don't know, just there's a lot to learn in
the life that you guys have created. And so we're

(04:39):
going to bring him in in a few minutes. Not yet. Ye,
he's gonna come in with a big pow.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
Guys. The big pow is the fact that I'm sweating
so bad.

Speaker 4 (04:49):
I just wanted good can we put Oh? The air
is because of the noise.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Menopause. It's so bad, yes, and it's so bad. So
the craziest thing is because I did see but I
don't mind.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
I did six years of IVF and then like when
you stop that, it triggers your body to believe that, like.

Speaker 4 (05:08):
Oh, I have some friends who have gone through that.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
So it comes earlier than normal. And so I'm like,
this woman was this woman was blow drying my hair.
I cannot make this up. Woman was blow.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Drying my hair.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
And literally, while she's blow drying, She's like, it's not drying,
like she's the makeup artist is doing my makeup. She
keeps looking at my face and stuff, and then I'm googling.
I'm silently just feeling like very hot, and I go
on my phone, and I'm like.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
What does a hot flash feel like?

Speaker 1 (05:40):
Right?

Speaker 3 (05:41):
And I like googled it on my phone and I said, guys,
I think I'm having a hot flash.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
When I turned around.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
This this literal hairstylist starts crying. She was actually concerned
because she kept drying a spot of hair, but I
was sweating so bad that the piece of hair would
get wet again.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
The makeup was running down my face.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
They were like, you look like what a cartoon character
would show menopause.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
Looking like that was me. It was like, it's possy, yush,
so bear with me.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
All.

Speaker 4 (06:10):
Oh, so today's gonna be fun. And then we turned
off the air because of the noise. But is it
really bad?

Speaker 3 (06:14):
If we put the noise will be bad. Yeah, I
don't think it's let's try it's not, guys, it's not
real heat.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
You could turn the A C on all you want.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
It's oh, the heat is coming from within, folks, it's
not outside.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
It's wild. It's crazy.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
Look and in my mind, I'm still eighteen, So this
is very confusing.

Speaker 4 (06:43):
The side when you feel like you she needs it, now,
what do you mean on the side for when you
need it? Okay, it looks good at.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
Least it looks glowy, glowy. It's doing it's it's giving back.

Speaker 4 (06:53):
We're back. We are back.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
Is that like terrible to share or it doesn't feel
very sexy, but Berry's out here just talking about it.

Speaker 4 (07:01):
So it's honest and honest, and you're you know, I
can't help myself.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
I literally can't help myself.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
You could try to tell me, Adrian, we are going
to do a very put together like keep it concise.
You know, I'm gonna rattle on. You know, I'm going
to be too honest for my own good. You're gonna
be like you shouldn't have said that.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
This is what this is.

Speaker 4 (07:22):
And we love that about you. Yeah, we love that
about you. So I have one of my favorite When
we were preparing today, I was like thinking of memories
that we haven't we've told the story about, like when
we first when I first took you out, when we
got you drunk and had to bring you home to
your mom's house, and your mother was amazing and so
so happy that we brought you home.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
She was so happy it was with you, and she
was so happy that like she has to learn like
find out like find out what it's like to drink
and this is how you end up. I was so sick,
but I learned my lesson.

Speaker 4 (07:55):
It was because it was bro like you shouldn't have
been drinking.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
We started with almost wana you I should have not
let you do, Mama.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
Juanas we went to Joe's pub. I feel like these
are very iconic.

Speaker 4 (08:05):
Yes, we were in these New York streets.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah, it was amazing.

Speaker 4 (08:09):
And your mother. I loved your mother's reaction. I think
I fell in love with her immediately then, and I
have loved been in love with your family ever since.
You have a great family. But that was another moment.
And when you talk about deaf jam right that time
for you, I felt like you had come out of
like Cheetah girls and and rel w and all that stuff,
and you were like trying to find your own way

(08:30):
and your own sound. And yeah, it was not the
best fit. It was.

Speaker 3 (08:37):
I always say that I don't ever want to do
my twenties again. I hated my so looking back, it
was like the discovery period. But at the same time,
I suffer from being a people pleaser, and I really
struggled with saying no. I really struggled with wanting to

(08:57):
be something I wasn't and trying to figure out what
that looked like, what was cool, what was like pretty
much just being everything I.

Speaker 4 (09:06):
Was being as your fan.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
Pretty much just being told like who I should be
or what cool, what sexy looked like, but none of
it actually aligned with who I really was, Yeah, with
the real met So that was super complicated.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
I feel like, well, don't you.

Speaker 4 (09:24):
Think most women, especially in their twenties, are kind of there.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
Not one hundred percent.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
I just was doing it on the internet, and it
was very frustrating for me. I remember specifically crying in
your car and being like, I don't understand. At the
time blogs existed, we didn't have social media, we didn't
have social media. We didn't have social media like that.
I think Twitter just had just started, and that's where

(09:51):
we were all doing like our you know, tweets that
were like subtweeting to everything and everything that was going
on in your life. Of course, please don't go back
and read mine from those many years ago. A lot
of Dream quotes from his songs. This is so random
the things that I remember of that period of time.
That was my favorite album at the time. Dream obviously
it's incredible writer, and I was even getting songs from him.

(10:14):
But now looking back at those songs, funny enough, I
found an email maybe a few weeks ago, and me
and my husband were in the car.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
And I was like, should I go back and listen
to those songs I made?

Speaker 1 (10:23):
Then?

Speaker 2 (10:24):
I was horrified when you heard them?

Speaker 4 (10:26):
Why what were you singing? I think, I don't want
to I tell you the titles. I'm gonna wait till
is so he could tell me the titles of these songs.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
My husband was like, he actually didn't say anything.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
It was just like driving and I'm DJing what my
album would have sounded like, and it is so not
who I am today, And honestly, it wasn't who I
was then. Yeah, one of the songs was like driving
like a Bitch. I think, oh nice.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Yeah that's one of the titles.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
They all pretty much had profanity and then they were
out of control.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
But I think I was trying to figure out, like
who you were?

Speaker 3 (11:02):
How do I show that I'm an adult from Cheetah Girls?
Like I think everybody has a hard time that I've
ever heard of that's done the transition from like Disney
young actress or singer. How do you then show what
I'm a grown woman I'm now without.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
Without driving like a bitch. It just is what it is.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
So I just remember being like, I have to be
super badass. I have to show that I'm an adult.
I have to not be cheah girls. I have to
show that I'm really sexy.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
And while.

Speaker 3 (11:35):
I think I felt sexy at that time, I think
how I went about it was just so wrong, and
we knew. I cried to you, and I remember you
just being like, stop doing these things that that's not
who you are. Like, if you don't want people to
judge you this way, then you actually have to not
do these things that are making you be viewed this way.
If you don't want blogs to say, oh you're you're

(11:57):
a hoe, you have.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
To sit back for a secon to go.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Am I doing? And you said and if you're not,
then that's their problem, which I loved. I loved that
you actually were like, if that's not at all, if
you don't feel you're giving them anything that could give
them that inclination, then you have to stand with that,
and you should be at peace with that. The problem
was I wasn't at peace because I wasn't being true
to myself.

Speaker 4 (12:19):
Yeah, I love that you were that. I don't know,
just that you're that you found that clarity for yourself,
you know what I'm saying, and that, Yeah, but it
takes a second for everybody. Shit, if I would have
run down some of the stuff I was doing in.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
My twenties, my god, eg, yeah, you couldn't pay me
to do the things that we did. Then Yeah, I
think Greenhouse.

Speaker 3 (12:41):
I think in a cubicle like a lot of people drinking,
Like I'm shocked that, Like I really enjoyed that at
that time, And then I'm like did I.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
It's a it's a weird thing.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
I think when you're older, you still have to remember,
because I know I have a son and I have
to now remember, like why did I like it? What
was it so that I don't catch amnesian and be like.

Speaker 4 (13:03):
You're gonna catch am nature. We all do it. We
can't help it. We can't help it. But around that
time you were making this music that you said it
was you were like not connecting to you were like forcing.
So whenever you force something so forced, but whenever anybody
forces anything, the result is never It's just not a fit.

(13:24):
It's like if you're going against what your journey or
your path is supposed to be. That's why they say
what was for you is for you. What's not for you,
it's just not gonna happen because it ain't for you.
So I think because you were in that space, you
were getting a lot of pushback about your voice, right, yes.
And I remember thinking because I had heard you singing
in Spanish before, and I was we were going to
the Puerto Rican Day Parade, and you were like down

(13:45):
about the criticism about your voice because you had been
trying to make this music that wasn't really a fit
for you. And I was like, yo, hey, coming me
to the Puerto Rican Day Parade, you should sing the
national anthem. And I remember you updated and your it
was your mom or your sister. My mom was there
and she was like, thank you for letting her do this.

Speaker 2 (14:05):
I was like, she's so good, right, She was like
she's so.

Speaker 4 (14:07):
Good, Like you were just up there killing it. And
so both of us had that moment. And then and
I knew you loved La India. I heard you sing
her songs, and so I so somebody had told me
that India I was a few things floats behind us.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
What I would do to find that footage?

Speaker 4 (14:22):
I know.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
So if you have that footage, can.

Speaker 4 (14:25):
You somebody get in touch with us? So I say
to Adrian, I know you want to meet her. She's
a few floats back. Do you want to go? No? No, no,
no no no no no no. And then they're telling me, hey,
the float we're getting ready to leave in a few minutes.
I was like, we could do it.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Come on, just come.

Speaker 4 (14:42):
Adrian jumps off the float. I grab her hand. We
were running down the street and we ran to her
her thing and she was lovely to you? Right? Was
she not lovely to me?

Speaker 3 (14:51):
I'm bawling my eyes out to meet her, which is
so like you know, you want to be cool when
you meet your idols, but I whould not contain myself.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
It was the Puerto Rican day prayed and it was
lying the okay I was.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
It was so good, And to be honest, it was
like both of my idols standing there.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
You know that you I have looked.

Speaker 4 (15:10):
I know you love me.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
I know ever you deserve your flowers. I have emo problems.

Speaker 3 (15:16):
You know that cry today but for real, for real,
like even when we're talking about that time in my life,
like I just did something for the Boys and Girls
Club and they're like, well, who was your mentor? And
I'm like the only person that could have came to
my mind was you. And I'm like, you really took
me under your wing. You looked out for me. I
was clueless. Clearly I knew.

Speaker 4 (15:38):
I'm telling you, I've been in the same place, so
I knew where you were at.

Speaker 3 (15:42):
And I just was like to be able to have
someone that I've listened to my whole life on the
radio also be there in a car and like hold
my hand and be like you're gonna get it together.
We're gonna figure this out. And you have always been
that for me. So I'm grateful.

Speaker 4 (15:55):
I love you.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
You're amazing.

Speaker 4 (15:57):
The point of that story for me is thank you.
My point of the story now, I love that. That
makes me very proud. So I always feel this sense
of pride for you when you were because I know
the road that you have been on and how you
have not and you kept going, kept going. But so
we have that moment at the parade you met her.
It was great. Fast forward a few years later, Yes,

(16:20):
you got a chance to run out on stage with her.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
When I tell you one of the greatest moments of
my life. And all I look back is say, why
didn't I do a different outfit or something?

Speaker 4 (16:32):
I don't That's so stupid because I don't even remember
the outfit.

Speaker 3 (16:36):
Girl, I don't even have a lash on. Okay, so
there wasn't even a lash to cry off while meeting her.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
But I went to.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
Aligndia concert because is is really good friends with Bobby
Allende who plays for her and he has actually musical director, right, babe,
something like that.

Speaker 4 (16:51):
Okay, it's too late. We should have brought him in already,
So we just bring this in now. Yes, I wanted
to lead up to you how you found love and
then this.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
Because Lord knows it was a struggle before we bring him.

Speaker 4 (17:02):
Don't come? Is Are you going to be comfortable talking
about uh life before? Yes?

Speaker 1 (17:09):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (17:11):
Everything right that is in detail? Okay, So without further ado, without.

Speaker 4 (17:16):
Further ado, the other half her Adrian's purpose partner that
I love that the amazing, enjoying.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
I want to get you a chair, Get you a chair? Literally?
What is wrong with me?

Speaker 3 (17:32):
I swear since becoming a mom, I'm like Oh my god, cry,
I'm trying to get it to Doug life for a
very long time.

Speaker 4 (17:39):
I feel like.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
More email.

Speaker 4 (17:43):
I waited to bring you. I should have brought you
from the beginning. Is the crazy thing is I was
going to wait to bring you in. Okay, I want
to get back to this line the story. I was
there that night, and I want your take on this moment.
But I I wanted to bring you in at a
point where we can talk about how she got to
the point where she was ready for you. But I
think we could actually do that together. Which is I

(18:06):
love that that is such a testament to It is
such a testament to the relationship and the honest relationship
that you have built, which to me, we could talk
about her accolades all day, right, but it's like the
family that she's created is really the greatest accomplishment, right,
no question. And she doesn't And that's not you alone.

(18:28):
I mean obviously that the two of you have put it,
you haven't managed to create it.

Speaker 1 (18:32):
It's mostly her, if I'm honest. Stop No, I mean
it has been a labor of love together, but the
labor is only just the work you put in every day.
It hasn't felt like this is laborious, this is a drag.
This feels like every day is some kind of adventure.
And I'm saying that having gone through those six years
of IVF, which were not ever pleasant, Like they were

(18:56):
never pleasant until you got the good news. Then you
hold onto that good news for a few days only
to receive we have to try again, and even then,
like the love the like you've heard us talk about
that before, Like it's important to like the person.

Speaker 2 (19:14):
You love that that how much.

Speaker 4 (19:16):
Do you like her?

Speaker 1 (19:17):
I mean, she came into my life, by the way,
when I was separated, I was going through a divorce.
I was pretty miserable. I remember telling her I'm never
gonna get married again. I'm clearly terrible at this. I
suck at this. And she's like, you're gonna get married again?
And she sent me on dates with friends of hers
to try and prove that the story that is. That's
not the answer to your question.

Speaker 4 (19:37):
But what kind of who did you say about the
date with I want an old lady?

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Yeah, that's that's another podcast.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
Some of them actually were at my wedding.

Speaker 4 (19:46):
W but I never that went well.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah, but you gotta understand like when we became friends,
I couldn't help. But I think the more I got
around her, especially in circles with friends and that sort
of thing, people would tell me, hey, you're like, you're
mesmerized by this woman, like close your mouth or something.
And it wasn't about her obvious beauty. She's obviously beautiful,

(20:11):
but like for for a guy who's like, I'm never
getting married again, which means I'm not going to bother
her with dating, is kind of where I was thinking.
And I'm not, like, I'm not. I wasn't even throwing
it like that. I wasn't even putting it out there.
Like I just saw that she was magic.

Speaker 4 (20:26):
She would walk.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
Into a room and the room would sort of tilt
in her direction, and I'm like, she just she's funny,
she's she's down home. You could talk about faith with her,
but you could talk about ratchet things at the same time.
And I'm like, what is this new? What is this
stewing corn? And I think I think we have a

(20:49):
mutual friend who basically, you know, we sort of confided
in like I think I like her. She's like I
think I like him, and she's like just try and
and in the try. We knew immediately like, oh this
is this is it.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
I knew.

Speaker 3 (21:03):
I liked him so much that it was like Jared said,
if you guys don't end up together, this will be
the saddest love story of all time. Because I liked
him so much and I still I still say this,
like I like you, like obviously I love you and
I'm in love with you. But you know, when you

(21:24):
talk to people about marriage, the main thing they'll tell
you is like it's ebb and flow.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
It's eb and flow.

Speaker 3 (21:28):
I always like you, though, I like the person that
you are. I like talking to you, Like even if
I'm mad at you, I still want to come tell
you what's going on. I still want to be mad
at other people with you.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
You know, preface, Like I'm so mad at you, but
I got to tell you the coolest thing.

Speaker 3 (21:45):
That happened, like and that is just the truth. Like,
I really like you. But he's made me a better person.
He's made me a better person in so many different ways.
I think that I was always guarded in a way
of like I think when you're raised in New York City,
you never want to come off thirst and you never
want to be like annoying to people, or I have
this thing that he says is like, what do you

(22:06):
say about my embarrassment?

Speaker 2 (22:08):
He's like, what is embarrassment costs you? Everything?

Speaker 1 (22:10):
Make as one day? Like how much do you think
it has cost you? Like embarrassment has cost you? Actual
money has cost you? What do you think a lot?

Speaker 3 (22:18):
Because I won't like send an email or I won't
because that to me would be thirsty. Like there's a
lot of things that I in my head, or I
won't if there's somebody that I'm a huge fan of
and I want to walk up to them and be like, Hi,
I just want you to know that I'm a cute right,
Like I just won't do things like that. I could

(22:40):
have a whole conversation with my husband at home and
say how much I love you, Angie, how much I'm
thinking about you, And I won't send that text message
to you because I'm like, gotta be kind of weird.
He made me be like, because that's who you are,
is we'll think of you and text you. Is this
the kind of person that's like who cares if they
think it's corny? Like call that person and tell them, Hey,
I was just talking about you. I want you to

(23:00):
know I love you, I appreciate you. I think you're
an amazing person, Like I never saw that in action,
and he is that person and he's made me want
to be that person. He's generous, he's fun, he's funny,
he's You're very silly, which people don't get to see.
He's very funny, very silly, very playful with me. I

(23:20):
think I probably dated guys that were too cool for everything,
and I realized I really don't like that. I want
someone that's just gonna love me for me and that
I don't have to put on some like extra cool
air to be around them.

Speaker 4 (23:33):
But did you know that? Because that's the thing that
when I think about people who are looking for love
right who are single out there or maybe divorced, and
think I'm never gonna get married again, Like how important
is it to know what you need or are looking.

Speaker 3 (23:50):
For that that I don't think that I would have
known I needed you and the person that you are
had I not dated did people who I didn't get
that from and that I wanted that from?

Speaker 2 (24:03):
Does that make sense? Like you literally could be.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
With someone and be like I always tell you, I'd
be like I feel like I forced a lot of things,
or like I would ask for attention. I never had
to ask that of you because you gave it freely
things that I wanted, or like I would love to
have a family, or i'd love I'm a family person.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
You know this. I want to hang out with my
family all the time.

Speaker 3 (24:27):
I never have to ask is like can we go
hang out with my family, or that we're there and
you're like, we already hung out with your family yesterday.
You know, like, instead he'll be like, babe, I think
there's a game tonight, or there's a fight, Let's go
over to Clauden Jers.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
You know, like.

Speaker 3 (24:43):
I I needed someone that was family oriented because those
things matter to me. So I think finding your own
values and what really matters to you is important, and
finding someone that cares about those things as well is
super important.

Speaker 4 (24:56):
Did you look for that? It just landed.

Speaker 3 (24:58):
No, it landed, and I needed to pay attention to
because I could have taken it for granted. Yeah, and
because I didn't have it before, I was able to go, wait,
this is different.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
Yeah, I don't have to And there's no game playing.
Oh my god, did I hate the game playing?

Speaker 3 (25:14):
Of Like who's gonna text each other first, Who's gonna
like You're just not that person. You're like, we're not
doing that. Like this is how I feel about you.
You know what it is if you ever feel if
you want to ask me something, if you feel uncomfortable
about something, like we can talk about it.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
And I never had.

Speaker 3 (25:31):
It was always always felt kind of like a game,
like like I had to keep a wall up.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (25:37):
How much of that is other people? Or was that
you too?

Speaker 3 (25:40):
Like, oh, for sure it was me too, because I
think at some point you think that game is enticing.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
You're like, ooh, mystery the.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
Game, and then you're like oh, then you're like, ooh,
I'm so sad, you know, Like then you wake up
one day and you're like, yo, he really doesn't like me,
like I think the person I or though nothing worse
than being like I'm in love with someone I don't like, Wow,
and I've been there. I've been in love with someone

(26:07):
and then I look at that's a whole other conversation.
I highly recommend reading the book The Five Love Languages.
There's a whole beginning of it that talks about the
actual chemical experience of falling in love, and oxytocin in
our body produces this and it only lasts up to
about two years if kept in private, possibly three. And
once that actual chemical reaction or the experience of being

(26:31):
in love goes away, it becomes a choice. Things that
never would have bothered you before are going to bother you.
Things that you never would have noticed of, like bad
chewing or those things never bothered me, But I know
there are people that those things drive them crazy, that
will now drive you insane. Don't true bad, I got
here's a bad schuor it would be me you.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yes, They're not bad, not bad.

Speaker 2 (26:55):
But I just look like a little squirrel harvesting food
in my mouth.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
Let me get into you for oh lord, okay, okay,
because I.

Speaker 4 (27:04):
Didn't know the younger you. I didn't know you in
a in a marriage that didn't work, or what that did,
what that did to you, or the mistakes that you made,
Like how A's saying, you know, I had to date
people and them not like me, or I realized, like
what are what as a man? What are some of
the lessons about love that.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
You What are some of the lessons about love? I think, Yeah, again,
I have to look at life this way. I was
in a I was in a meeting one time and uh,
a pastor was asked, Hey, you've been in ministry this long.
Is there anything you would go back and change? And
he was like, he laughed, sort of reared back and laughed,

(27:45):
and when he came back to give his answer, his
whole countenance changed and he said, if I would change anything,
it would change everything. And I remember when he said it,
it like shot through my body, like like you know
when you hear a certain thing. I'll never forget that
because I go my whole life is the sum total
of some good decisions, some really colossal bad decisions, and

(28:09):
then just putting in the work every day. And that's
you know, failures and successes all rolled into one. But
I wouldn't change anything because out of that, I have
beautiful children, you know, I have some rough marriage, you know,
memories and experiences, some of my own doing, you know.
But all that to say, I'm grateful for sort of

(28:33):
the first half of my life. It was a lot
of work, it was a lot of sort of pursuing
my career, and I really really, really really really enjoy
this season of my life now, I say best friend.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
Know if I would have wanted to date him when
he was pursuing a career, And that's honest, Like, I
don't know, if I.

Speaker 4 (28:58):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
I think.

Speaker 3 (29:01):
I'm really grateful that God orchestrated us to meet when
we met, because I probably needed attention. I needed what
I guess I had always wanted, which was like someone
to pour into me and just like dote on me
and love on me. I needed that at that time.
And I also needed.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
Time, like we spent a lot of time together.

Speaker 3 (29:23):
And I don't know, I realistically don't know if someone
was still pursuing like a career or going after that,
if that would have worked.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Does that make sense?

Speaker 4 (29:30):
Really?

Speaker 2 (29:30):
Yeah, that's honest and realistic.

Speaker 4 (29:32):
God's timon Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
I think so for sure. And I needed to feel
like I had a partner, you know, that that matched
energy and vibes and fun, et cetera, dreams, passions. And
when we met it was like, well, when we got married,
we knew right away like everything we do we're going
to do together. And it was just the most I mean,

(29:55):
even she's a star, she does her things, and I'm
going to be on the side awarding every single thing,
and she does the same for me and it's the
greatest And then the few things we get to do together,
like this corrito's thing we've just done, like it's so
rewarding every day. Side note, we do not argue in life,

(30:16):
what do you mean, unless we're working together.

Speaker 3 (30:19):
We argue about that, like that's what we argue about.
Like now, we'll argue about that now. But it's so
crazy because even looking back, one of the things that
made me fall in love with him was definitely realizing
that for the first time, I think ever in my
love life, I met somebody that knew like the way
I grew up. And what I mean by that is

(30:40):
like my church life that I was like raised Pentecostal,
that I grew up singing corritos.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
You need to imagine, do you remember when I lived.

Speaker 4 (30:47):
Somebody who doesn't know whatrios is?

Speaker 2 (30:49):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (30:50):
Coritos are pretty much like old school hymns, but they're
in Spanish. They're so old that they don't even have publishing,
Like there's no writers on them. They're just songs that
kind of repeat over and over. And if you grew
up in a Latino Pentecostal church. They are like the classics,
like everyone knows to sing them. They kind of end
up being in medley form. You go from one song

(31:11):
to another and Loki people will be like, like, you
went to that second song and I grew up singing
Corriito's my whole life. And I remember being on the
balcony at my apartment across from the grove, and like
we were sitting there. I don't know what was happening,
some kind of a party or something, and I don't
know what grditho.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
I started singing, what song was it?

Speaker 1 (31:32):
No ideals? I think, no idea.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
And you literally said no, no, no, no, And I
was like, wait a second.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
What.

Speaker 2 (31:41):
I'm like, how do you know Corritos?

Speaker 4 (31:43):
Because this is not Latino, which people might think exactly my.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
Hey, guys, you're messing up my Like my, my, my,
what honorary Puerto Rican status that I've been given?

Speaker 2 (31:55):
But I'm not gonna lie. When I first met Israel,
I thought he was perto Rican.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
First of all, the name Israel super common in Puerto Rico,
so I was like, oh, he's definitely Latino of some sort.
And he sings in Spanish and like you get the point.
With all that being said, he literally grew up in
a Latino community in a Latino church, so they saw
the songs in a white family.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
Yeah, so a black kid, white family. All my friends
were Hispanic, All my friends were by my stepfather. I was,
but my I was raised with my mother. My mother's white.
My father was black. My mother's still white. Amazing. Wow,
she's holding on.

Speaker 3 (32:32):
She makes some bomb uh food food, she makes bomb Mexicans.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
He's from Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Speaker 4 (32:39):
Got it, So a little bit of Latino.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
Yeah, always was around. So when we I think that's
really when we fell in love. We started harmonizing on
the porch. She's like, Okay, that's my guy.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
But I know that that sounds really funny.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
But imagine someone connecting with something that is so poor
who you are as a person that was your whole upbringing,
your whole childhood, and this person goes, I see you.
And that's how I felt in that moment, Like I
was like, wait, you know that, like culturally you know this, and.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
That was just like amazing to me.

Speaker 4 (33:13):
What is the song?

Speaker 2 (33:15):
No ideal?

Speaker 4 (33:18):
No no no no I and oh would you not
fall in love?

Speaker 2 (33:26):
Would you not you look.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
I was literally just like, wait, but you know this
part of me.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
Also, if you really know me, you know I'm super
faith based, Like I love God. God plays a huge
part in everything I've ever done. And I felt like
for the first time I was in a relationship where
I could be like, can you pray with me?

Speaker 2 (33:48):
And it wasn't weird, you know, and I needed that.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
Yeah, I'm gonna tell you the craziest story, so loaded
that up. I didn't pray for her the first time,
the first time we ever prayed together, she prayed for me.
Oh my gosh, that's crazy. I told her, this is
what's going on my life. It's bad if once the
world finds out I'm just my life is over and
my career it's where I was at, yes, and my

(34:13):
livelihood was attached to whether people thought I was a
Christian or not, you know, or a superhuman Christian by
the way, like a super Christian. And I expected her
and what I shared with her was like embarrassing and
painful and all that. And I expected her to go, see, oh, y'all,
you know, I expected her to just go all guys

(34:35):
are the same. And she leaned across the table and
she grabbed my hand and she just started praying for me.
This is when we're still friends, and I mean I
sobbed at that little table and she just basically said, God,
please help this man know that he's not what he's done.

(34:56):
And I think even that, like anybody listening right now
or watching right now, we need to understand, like again,
if I change anything would change everything. We are not
what we've done. We are the sum total of what
we inherited out of the womb, what we've dealt with
in the community we grew up in, or the church
trauma that some people have had to actually deal with.

(35:17):
That's a real thing. And yet here we are, both
years into our life on the other side of that going.
All of that wasn't working against us. All of that
was serving to make us who we are now. And
the evolution that I've seen in her life. And here's
what's wild when she talks about church. For her, it's
this beautiful like foundational pillars always been that, and for

(35:43):
me it has as well. And there was a lot
of trauma, but that's because I was sort of in
the family business of.

Speaker 3 (35:50):
Chanch that life pastor and I think that's just a
different dynamic for sure, But that's so weird. I never
would That's how I know moments like that are God
because that's not my natural instinct. My natural instinct is
not to be like, let me pray for you. My
natural instinct would have been to be like, oh, no,
this is exactly I know.

Speaker 4 (36:08):
This about you, Yause your biggest fear used to be
when you're dating. Yeah, you know what you used to
always be afraid of you were dating, that somebody would
cheat on you.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
Oh, not just my biggest fear, but again that's attached
to my embarrassment and what that would do to my ego.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
And that's just so like, like that's heartbreaking.

Speaker 3 (36:27):
But also because I had gone through that before, my
biggest fear was someone cheating because that to me was
saying that I wasn't good enough that you know, we
all want to believe that like I'm the one for you,
and that would be proof that I'm I'm not the
one for I mean, there's so much I've delved into
it because to be honest, it's still is a very

(36:49):
real thing for me.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
Like that to me would be the end.

Speaker 3 (36:53):
Like that, that to me is like game over. Yeah,
So to really believe that I know that and I've
preached that on the real and to be that person
and then marry someone who has been that didn't make
sense to me at all in my logical mind.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
But in that moment, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (37:12):
That's how I know it was God because in that
moment I literally reached over and was like praying for him,
and I held him and I was just like, I
love you, Like you don't have to be that, like
that's not it's just so wild.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Like I just was like, I love you. I love
you flawed.

Speaker 3 (37:27):
I get that you're so honest and transparent with me
right now in this moment, and I get that, but
I still love you. And if we can't be the
grace of God that what I want from God is grace.
I ask for grace every morning. I want that mercy
and that grace. I pray that I can be that
for if anything, the person I married, you know, Wow,

(37:51):
if I could be, I feel like I'm very gracious.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
Now.

Speaker 1 (37:54):
You're the greatest for real, And I think people that
would would watch hours of footage of the real would
think there's no way that would be her take on
you know something that is adjacent to the biggest fear
of her life. And of course this is before we're dating.
But it's also a warning like, hey man, if we're
doing this, like, please know where I stand on this.

(38:16):
But I say all the time, Adrian epitomizes. Can I
say epitomizes? Is there a better word? Adrian is the
example of God's grace to me? Like when somebody goes,
what does grace look like? I go, looks like my wife,
A lot like my wife, just because she's the real thing.
She's consistent. She gives grace to those who don't deserve it.

(38:40):
She shows mercy to those who haven't earned it.

Speaker 4 (38:43):
What does that do to you as a man, though,
Because like if you think about who you were back
then versus so, and of course you make mistakes, you
pray on and you pray together and God leads you
down the road that you're supposed to be on. But
there has to be also actual ways in which you
change your thinking, maybe you change impulses. I'm just wondering what,

(39:03):
because I don't know. When we whenever we share stories,
I always think where they land in the world, And sure,
who needs to hear them?

Speaker 1 (39:10):
Sure?

Speaker 2 (39:10):
And I think about you change you.

Speaker 4 (39:12):
Yeah, And I think about a couple, or I think
about a woman who's trying to decide if she gives
the man that she's with grace. How how do you
know when the man that you were with deserves that grace?
I guess prayer is helpful to many, But I just
wonder what would it need? What would it be about
that man that that would like? What would that man

(39:32):
need to do to be a different version of himself? Hey, guys,
it's Angie. Thank you so much for watching the pod.
There's so much happening in real life. I cannot even
believe that summer is over already. For me. In real life,
the changing of the season means I am kind of
refreshing my home. I'm like taking all the summer stuff
out of my closet, which means I need some bins,

(39:53):
I need some hangers, some just easy things to make
me feel like I got a fresh closet ready for
ready for the new season. All things that I can
get on Wayfair. I just ordered these doorknobs from my
place that are like this, Matt Black changes the look
of the room just changing a doorknob super easy. Got
them on Wayfair. They have some different every space at

(40:14):
every budget, and delivery is free and super easy. Because
for me, I don't have time to be running around
trying to find things to freshen up my home. When
I have like a little downtime thirty minutes, I can
hop online, make a great card at Wayfair and get
everything I need to feel fresh in my home in
real life. So if you want to get organized, refreshed
back to a routine for way less, you can do

(40:36):
that at Wayfair. That's wayfair dot com. Right now you
can go and shop all things home Wayfair, every style,
every home.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
Does that mean this is great? I mean I think
that man would have to be willing to put real
work in real self reflection, in have to listen to
some difficult truth.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
We feel love therapy therapy does Yeah? I love that
about him.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
And I mean to just go and have permission to go.
None of this makes sense, So let me dump it
all out, help me sort through it. And somebody actually
gets paid a wage to do that. That's pretty amazing.
I'm gonna take advantage of it. But we just had
like a little drive up the Hudson the other day
and we sat down, had this great meal, and the

(41:23):
meal was going great. We're laughing all day, and she's like,
let's talk about boom. And it's like, oh, okay, here's
where it gets, here's the real of it, and what
is it gonna take. It's gonna take a partner to go,
let's talk about that, let's actually talk about it, and
let's drill down. And it's gonna suck for a minute.

(41:43):
But what is known before this conversation ever happens is
that I like you, I love you, you like me, you
love me. And this is a part of changing the oil.
This is a part of the maintenance of this vehicle
called love and life and marriage and household that we've got,
and we got it, change it from time to time.
We gotta do the maintenance on it. We gotta be

(42:04):
willing to do the uncomfortable stuff. And to anybody, I
probably represent any sort of middle aged you know, African
American insecure life is coming at all directions. The world
is on fire, feels like, you know, everything's upside down,
and to just go, okay, what is real anymore? What

(42:25):
matters anymore? Let me lock into that. Let me lock
into that with this person. Let me let everything else
fall off and just be and when you can have
the person that goes I'm going to walk with you
as you just be and figure it out and change
and evolve. I got you. You know you're winning, but

(42:46):
it does take the work. Everybody listening has to do.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
The work though, too. I think. I then I always
say this.

Speaker 3 (42:58):
I'm like, someone can tell you they want to change,
but what are they actively doing to change? Accountability for
me is the number one thing. The second thing I
would say is how have you changed? And do I
see a change? Whether it's not like you see somebody
actively going to therapy, if you ask the person, well,
why did it end up at this in that place?
I think for you, a lot of times you'd be

(43:18):
honest and saying he wasn't like you. You still have
a hard time, Like if I come to you and
I tell you how am I doing as a wife
and we have these really honest conversations. We used to
do baths and we'd get in the bath and be like, Okay,
this is the things I liked this week. Love that
you did this, but like almost like low key, like
a report card, but not like that, just a good

(43:40):
conversation and we'd be like, if ever I'm doing something
that really bothers you or that is a turn off
for you, I need you to be honest and vocal
about that. You're gonna you might hurt my feelings now.
I'd rather hurt my feelings now than that we're twenty
years from now, You're not in love with me anymore,
and I have to have that far to you.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
That'll hurt my feelings way worse.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
Than you being like, Babe, this thing you do is
like kind of unattractive to me, or like I don't
like that, or I wish you did whatever that is.
Let's save ourselves twenty years from now and just tell
it to me now. And I think that for you
is difficult, be honest. That's just not who you are.
That's really hard for you to be like, So you
have to drag it out of him, Yeah a little

(44:20):
bit honest.

Speaker 4 (44:21):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
But I I come from a world where people are
always like, girl, you got to fix this, or you
got to you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (44:29):
Those things really don't bother me. I actually what do.

Speaker 3 (44:32):
I only ask honesty. All I ask for is honesty.
Just tell me the truth. I can handle anything. I
can't handleize, Just tell me the truth anything else I
really can't. I do really good at handling, and I
could figure it out. But what I can't do is
if you're lying to me, because now I can't trust you.
So I felt like that was really important, especially coming
from somebody saying this. I was, I was unfaithful in

(44:53):
my last marriage, Like, these are real things. We had
to have a conversation about. Therapy was the other one.
And I'm thinking about, like if I had to tell
a young woman this, like what I would tell her
would be like you have to actually see that they're
wanting to change, that they're actively changing the You can't
want it for them, No, No, you can't be setting
up the therapy sessions for them. They need to want
it so badly that like you're asking them what are

(45:16):
they doing, They're like, I'm just trying to figure it out,
Like I want to be right, I want to get
it right with you.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (45:21):
I think women make that mistake sometimes. Yeah, you want
somebody to be a version of something, so you they
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (45:29):
So I think that's the difference about her. She wants
me to just be the best version for myself.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
Whatever that is.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
That's it. It's not like I need you to be
the best version so that I look good or that
this feels. She's like, I want you to be at
tip top for your own self because if you are,
we're all going to benefit. We're all gonna win.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yeah, we are so cute.

Speaker 4 (45:56):
Let's talk about the Let's talk about the parenting journey
that has got because your road has not been I mean,
you've been a parent for a long time. Yes, well,
how many years have you.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
Been a father? Thirty one years?

Speaker 2 (46:08):
Oh my god, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
I've been a father for thirty one years.

Speaker 4 (46:13):
And it's interesting because the parent that you were thirty
one years ago is probably very different than the parents now.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
I can help you real quick with that. Yeah, well,
I mean, so Mariah is going to be twenty nine. Wow.
So Mariah technically was my first child in the sense
of the child that I helped raise. I have an
older son who I didn't know I was his father

(46:40):
until it was until he was almost five. We have
a great relationship now, but and he's thirty one. With Mariah,
Her and I are like this from day one. You
know Mariah, of course, and she's kind of been my
ride or die from. I mean I took her on
the road from the time she was a year old, probably,
but after that I kind of was gone all the time.

(47:04):
I said yes to everything, you know how she couldn't
say no to anything. I couldn't either, and I wouldn't either.
I just wanted to stay active on tour all of that,
and I and and because but the marriage was so
not great that I just didn't want to be around.

(47:25):
And so I pursued my career. And so the upside
of that is, you know, I want a bunch of
Grammys and sold a bunch of records, did a bunch
of stuff. But at the same time, I had a
lot of repair to do with my family now, like
people ask me now, Like you know sometimes people are like, oh,
you got to start all over again whatever, you know,
there's only two And I'm like, you don't understand. This

(47:46):
is I'm having the time of my life with this love.

Speaker 2 (47:49):
That they're a part of it too, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 3 (47:52):
Like Mariah lives here in New York, Sonny, Like they
literally will like we literally do sleepovers in our beds,
Like it's all us across the bed with Ever, they
love him.

Speaker 2 (48:03):
It's it's yeah, it's really greatest.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
So this time around, I'm far more present, I'm far
more involved. I'm learning Spanish while Ever is learning Spanish.
It's the greatest thing. And we're just sort of it's
like being a kid all over again and getting on
the floor and playing hot wheels every day with this
kid and whatever the new thing he's into I'm into
and it's great.

Speaker 2 (48:25):
I mean, come on, it's so great.

Speaker 4 (48:28):
I remember when you guys told me yeah, yes, yes,
and it was just its abundance of joy.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
Your reaction was all, yes, it was so good.

Speaker 4 (48:41):
Remember that part. I just remember you guys.

Speaker 3 (48:43):
The craziest thing is do you still go through this
not even looking at an eco?

Speaker 4 (48:47):
Are you?

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Like?

Speaker 2 (48:48):
I can't believe that's my kid? Does that still happen?

Speaker 4 (48:52):
No, it's more like because you know, as they get older,
you relearn them. It's like, wow, you have to relearn
who they are all the time because they're becoming a
different person.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
Version of themselves.

Speaker 4 (49:07):
So sometimes he does or says things that I'm like, wow, yes,
that's so super dope. Like I have like this kind
of like able to appreciate him from outside of being Yes, yes,
as being like and the same. You know, I have
Christians since he's four in my house, and so the
same thing with Christians. Sometimes they do things and and
I don't know, I'm just it's amazing to me the

(49:29):
human beings that they are because they go out and
they have their own experiences outside of you guys, so
then they come home and they're a little different. Yes,
is that what you were asking? Probably not No.

Speaker 3 (49:38):
For me, it's it's the actual Oh my gosh. I
have a son and he's the living, breathing human version
of like plus and he's walking around our house and
doing things, and he's very strong willed. I don't know
where he gets it from. He's very strong willed. He's
really really funny. But the thing is, he knows he's

(50:02):
funny if you laugh, and then he's gonna keep saying
the same joke over and over again to keep you laughing.
It's it's giving me on the real But I'm gonna
literally i'd be like, did you guys hear that joke?

Speaker 2 (50:13):
But like for real, it was O D.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
But I'll see ever do stuff like that and I'm like,
oh my gosh, like that his personality he's really funny.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
Here's my but he has her entire personality.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
It is Israel's whole face.

Speaker 4 (50:26):
It's so cute. This is true.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
He has my forehead, of my ears. I'm holding onto that.

Speaker 4 (50:30):
Okay, what have you learned about each other from parenting?

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Or like, whoa, you have to.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
Make the time because a child, really he'll consume all
our day. And while we love that, it has been
significant to us to also be like, we have to
take care of us as well. So that's been a transition,
like just like a figuring out how to navigate that.

Speaker 1 (51:02):
First of all, the last six months for us have
been nothing but full throttle everything about it. We did
the live record, We did two volumes of the live record.
She did Broadway, like it's just non stop, and we realized, hey,
at some point we might need to like we'll find
ourselves going, hey, could you and I just go escape
for a day or two and not tell anybody, like

(51:25):
that's where we're at right now because.

Speaker 4 (51:26):
It's nuts and so you're making that time.

Speaker 1 (51:28):
Yes, yeah, But in all of that we realize we
do like each other because even like again talking about
the uncomfortable conversation the other night by the time we're
in the car, we're laughing about something. Well, actually we
laughed about something crazy after that, but I can't share that, and.

Speaker 4 (51:44):
You're still and then you're closer. That's a surprise. That's
the surprise side. If you can get to the other side,
if you can.

Speaker 2 (51:50):
Get to the other side, you are absolutely closer.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
As a parent, I realized that is I'm so grateful
that I chose him.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
Does that make sense? Who you choose to have children
with is wild, you know what I mean? Like, it
is not an easy It's not an easy thing.

Speaker 3 (52:10):
And I love that my child gets to have him
as a dad because he's a great dad. I also,
I love co parenting with you because where I'm like no,
You're like, come on, babe, And then there's times where
I'm like you can't let him get away.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
No, I mean, you really are always softer. I'm always harder.

Speaker 3 (52:28):
I was trying to give an example of you harder,
I mean softer, but that doesn't really exist. He's just
kind and loving and he takes time to be with
him and they I love that. I love that he'll
let me sleep in. I'm not a morning person. I'll
sleep in. He wakes up at the crack of dawn
and ever and him will like, go do stuff downstairs.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
Like I appreciate that. I haven't.

Speaker 4 (52:49):
You've chosen, You've chosen well.

Speaker 3 (52:51):
I love I know this sounds dumb. I love that
like he'll grow up listening to his songs. I love
the music that you've created, and that's a legacy for
my son to listen to. I think that's really special.
It makes me want to do music more now, only
because I'm like, he'll listen to that end won't listen
to it, like is that a good song? But wow,
that's my dad singing or wow that's my mom singing.

Speaker 2 (53:13):
Does that make sense?

Speaker 3 (53:14):
I see everything in a very different way since being
a mom in general.

Speaker 4 (53:20):
That Yeah, should we do our bull? I have a bowl.

Speaker 3 (53:22):
I like a ball. I would love to try the ball.

Speaker 4 (53:25):
I feel like it's bull time this girl. This is
the in real life. I'll do one too. I said
I was going to do one too with people. Now, okay,
you know, just questions, do you doing? Should I do
the first? You doing first?

Speaker 2 (53:39):
Is I have to? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (53:41):
Okay one? Do they get to one of each each one? Okay,
it's just pick what I the love of God.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
It's me like praying over the ball.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
Okay, mine is best parenting advice you've ever gotten.

Speaker 2 (53:59):
M hmm.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
It's not one solid thing, but it kind of goes
back to what I was saying.

Speaker 2 (54:04):
I'd actually heard this said before.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
Of the greatest gift you can give to your children
is to love their parent like the other parent, because
watching that shows them what love looks like, a healthy
relationship that they should want to have in the future.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
And I would think the main thing from that, Oh, I.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
Have another one, So that would be to be a
really good spouse, Sam and keep a strong marriage so
that we can have a healthy, happy family and I
can be an example of that. But the other one
I just remembered was to be happy. When you ask
any parent what do you want for your child?

Speaker 2 (54:39):
What do they say? I just want them to be happy.

Speaker 3 (54:41):
But rarely are we examples of that. Rarely are we
examples of happy parents. I learned how to be happy
because I saw my mom be happy. I saw her
go after her happiness. I saw her find what made
her happy, and she pursued that.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (54:59):
So I want to be the happiest way from yeah,
I mean, she made some really hard decisions. My mom
got divorced when I was thirteen, and it was a
very difficult decision for her.

Speaker 4 (55:09):
That's the thing, right, It's like, sometimes people have to
make pivots in their life. You have to make hard
decisions to get to your happiness. When you were talking
about being in this marriage and dealing with everything with
the church, yeah, I thought to myself for a second,
I was like, Wow, he could have, out of guilt
or out of whatever, he could have stayed in that forever.

Speaker 3 (55:28):
What it would have been more, he would have been
more successful, It would have actually been beneficial, and you
would have.

Speaker 4 (55:33):
Messed out on this part of your life if you
were afraid to make that kind of pivot or that choice.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
I was given the option to make it work, to
like just stick it out for optics. And I remember saying,
I don't think I want to do that. And the
question was, well, what about your platform? And I said,
what about my peace? I said, what's the point of
having a platform if you have no peace?

Speaker 4 (55:59):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (56:01):
If I'm on a stage every night in a different
city telling telling people God is so great and he's
the hope of the world, and that's what you need.
And I'm like privately disintegrating and dying and hate all
of this, Like I'd rather just go find peace. And
if I never get on a platform again and I
never have anybody follow me again or download my songs again,

(56:25):
I have peace in my soul, which means I might
be here a little longer than I thought I was
gonna be. And I think that's just real that's just
real life. And and I think I think because of embarrassment,
people will stay in things, or because of people's opinions
or people's expectation, will stay in things way past their
expiration date and their due date. And you find yourself

(56:49):
in really toxic, painful, life threatening situations.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
And being way worse, way worse.

Speaker 4 (56:58):
But you did that such thing. And even from the
beginning of our conversation, I was like, you have kind
of in a way manifested this life for yourself. And
it's not even just about the career that's been great,
but like you like, you've created this family, but it's
because you learned, if you learned how to be happy
from your mother.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
My mom made really difficult decisions.

Speaker 3 (57:16):
But and somebody asked me, how did you handle a
divorce at that age, and I genuinely was like, I
really wanted to see my mom happy, and I saw
her do that and be that, and I'm so grateful.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
I'm so grateful.

Speaker 3 (57:27):
And now we funny enough, we all do Christmases together.
You know, I have like the best example of a
blended family. Yeah, I have two dads. They love each other.
They sit down and we'll have a beer together. Like
they're just great examples of being mature and growing up
and saying, Okay, that didn't work out, but it's but
that's okay, and like we need to love each other
and be a family for these kids.

Speaker 2 (57:49):
We're not kids anymore. And by the way, they're still
doing it.

Speaker 1 (57:51):
At least once a week, we're all hanging out together.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
It's the best example. Okay, what did yours that was?

Speaker 4 (57:58):
That was a good one.

Speaker 3 (58:00):
That was a great one. The best parenting advice you
ever got. Like I remember claud and jured Jared saying
the best thing I can do for Jet and Bow
is to be good to their mother. And I always
loved that, you know, to be a good husband to
this so that they're girls, they're gonna watch, you know,
everything he does. That's how they're gonna know, what's the
kind of man I should be with? How who should
I marry? If you see healthy love, you know, healthy love, marriage, family.

Speaker 1 (58:25):
What's something that you used to be embarrassed about that
you now own? Yeah, oh your history, all of that
for sure. I would say, you know, I found out
at like seventeen that was prematurely gray. So like by
the time I was like twenty, like this was all white,

(58:45):
like salt and pepper, but mostly like salt.

Speaker 4 (58:48):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
And so I died it for years and years and years.

Speaker 2 (58:53):
And I diet for him.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
We were in the bathroom doing science projects on this
air okay, the band.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
I was giving you haircuts, man.

Speaker 1 (59:03):
And then and then one day, I think during the pandemic,
I decided I'm going to take all my hair off.
And I loved that. She loved that. She's like, and
then and then and then I stopped dying anything, and
She's like, I love this look. So I've made full
peace with it. I'm an old man, I'm a vehicle whatever.

Speaker 2 (59:25):
But I was, okay, you are at peace.

Speaker 4 (59:30):
Should I do one?

Speaker 1 (59:32):
But when people are making fun of you as a
teenager for.

Speaker 3 (59:34):
Looking, I mean, that is kind of crazy to be
Oh my god, this is good seventeen and totally white.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
That's wild. But I'm you don't have no looking.

Speaker 4 (59:42):
I wouldn't. I wouldn't mind sharing mine with the whole table. Okay, go,
like I want everybody to ask.

Speaker 2 (59:47):
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 4 (59:49):
If God were to text you right now, what would
it say? Wow? If God were to text you right now,
what would it say? My text would probably be, ooh,
stay on your path, Just stay on your path. I

(01:00:14):
always feel most connected to God when I'm doing what
I'm supposed to be doing. And so sometimes we get
distracted or we you know, for whatever reason. It's all
types of reasons. But whatever I'm like locked in and
it's what I'm supposed to be doing, I like everything
just feels better. I feel better, things come easier, and
so probably that I feel like I had a weekend

(01:00:35):
where like I was like working on something and everything
was like clicking, and I was like, oh yes, oh yes,
you know that feeling, and I'm like, okay, I'm on
my path. That's how I know, Like, oh, I was
a God winks just like God winks exactly. So I
think right if I were to get a text today,
it would probably say that with a wink emoji.

Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
I don't know when he said it. I literally said,
I'm proud of you. And the only reason is because
I had a moment I cried about. I cried earlier
today because and I know this is going to sound
so ridiculous, but I've been in like mom mode. I'm
on the floor playing with ever, i don't wear makeup
every day, I'm in whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
I'm in mom mode.

Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
I'm engulfed in my son and spending time with him
and being with him. And it's weird because like when
you were like, oh, come do this, there was something
in me that was like, I don't like I have
to get on camera, I have to pull myself together,
do my makeup and whatever. And there was a part
of me that was just like, I don't have anything
to say. I know, I'm telling you that's real, but

(01:01:32):
that's so real. And I was talking to Is about it,
and I got in the car and I have this
app on my phone call Church Home, and I did
the app this morning and I cannot make this up.
It was Psalm one thirty nine, which I have tattooed
behind my ear, and it was about that you are
fearfully and wonderfully made right. And it was pretty much
saying like, just be authentically who you are. Like it
was about authenticity and just being you. And I feel

(01:01:55):
like I'm sitting in this chair and I'm like, I
did it, like I No, one sounds weird, and I do.

Speaker 4 (01:01:59):
I used to do things like this coming out.

Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
I used to do stuff like this all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
But I think I question that now, Like I I'm like,
what am I supposed to be doing?

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
Like I'm a mom. I really enjoy this more than
anything else.

Speaker 4 (01:02:12):
Do I want to go be interviewed?

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
It sounds weird, and I absolutely want to.

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
Yeah, the best combo.

Speaker 3 (01:02:19):
Yeah it's the best comp But you so, I think
he'd be like, good job, like I did it, you know, because.

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
What was the question again?

Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
Specifically, Oh my God? Would God text me?

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
No?

Speaker 4 (01:02:30):
If God were to text you right now, right now,
if you would have picked up your phone and it
was hitting, what would it say?

Speaker 1 (01:02:36):
It would say? Can you FaceTime? I prefer to FaceTime once.
I have people in my life and I love them
very much who refuse to text please do.

Speaker 3 (01:02:47):
I hate that they refuse so they'll know the first.

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
I'm like, bro, I'm on the toilet right now. I'm
not taking your face. I have said being funny with that,
but like the I don't know. There's something about being present,
and I just feel like it's easy sometimes to say God,
I'll get to that in a minute. I feel like
I've written God so many IOUs like I know, we

(01:03:13):
got to deal with this, or I need to spend
time with you, but I'm doing something else, And I
feel like he would say, like, hey, just talk to
me for a little bit. Check in, Yeah, check in
there you go. Check in? He is check in, there
you go. Maybe that's lock in, lock lock in.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
You lately have been using all of these like new
trendy words.

Speaker 1 (01:03:40):
I have.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
Told me that I'm about to have a crash out.
I was like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:03:48):
I walked into our laundry room. I said, I can't
take it anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
This is about I'm about to crash out. I'm like,
who are what?

Speaker 4 (01:03:55):
I was like, I love that you lock in? I
love that for you, all right, Ook, I already know
the answers. I think I know the answer to this
question in real life today. How happy are you both
on a scale of one to ten.

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
Right now that we're almost getting this done, I'm just
kidding about oh my god, I'm getting no no, no, no, no,
I'm kidding getting it okay. Right now, I would say, honestly,
I'm a ten. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'd
say ten.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
I'm then I'm going eleven because anytime she's really happy,
I am astatic in life. And I had a question like,
what makes you truly happy? When are you the happy?

Speaker 3 (01:04:32):
Yes with her, No, I'm really happy, that's the truth,
really really happy, like really happy every day you are
not every day, No, but I'm really happy. I'm I
will be happiest when I clean out my closet.

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
But that has to do with OCD and I'm not
being funny.

Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
If you deal with like having a lot of chaos
in here, and I think a lot, and I overthink
a lot. So if my home is like in order,
that will like woo.

Speaker 2 (01:04:59):
Something like that. That's a happy moment.

Speaker 3 (01:05:01):
It sounds dumb, but if you caim relay, you can
relay if you know, my closet looks crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:05:07):
So I'm spending tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (01:05:08):
I believe that your closet. I want you to believe
bad okay in real life? What do you pray for.

Speaker 3 (01:05:13):
Most in real life? I pray most for protection over
my family.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
I just pray for wisdom and how to raise this
little kid.

Speaker 4 (01:05:23):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
I'm like always like God, protect us, just keep us,
protect our hearts, protect our minds.

Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
Protect my son, say and protect me so I can
protect him.

Speaker 4 (01:05:36):
In real life? What is your biggest challenge? Like, we
all have our hurdles, we all have our things that
self discipline.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
I lack self discipline, really, I really do.

Speaker 4 (01:05:46):
I would not think that of you.

Speaker 3 (01:05:48):
I'm very motivated, but if the motivation isn't there, I'm
not disciplined enough to do it without motivation. And I've
recognized that about myself. So if I'm not like motivated
to I'm like right now, I'm not career motivated right now.
And that's honest. That's just not where I'm at. I'm
not career motivating.

Speaker 4 (01:06:08):
While you just put on an album with your husband.
You just did it Broadway a Broadway show where you
sang and danced and learned all your lines and were
amazing in the show. So this is you not career's
I'm not And by the way you have.

Speaker 3 (01:06:22):
A whole brand, I know, But to me, I will
I will be disappointed with my lack of motivation. Like
I I get, I'm very.

Speaker 2 (01:06:30):
Hard on myself in that way.

Speaker 3 (01:06:32):
Like there's times when I don't sleep because I will
wake up being like I'm not doing enough or what
am I doing?

Speaker 2 (01:06:37):
Or why am I not doing enough? Or why why?

Speaker 3 (01:06:39):
I will be upset with myself as to why I'm
not motivated, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (01:06:43):
Like that will annoy me.

Speaker 4 (01:06:44):
I'm the same way I'm making kind of making fun
of you, but I'm the same.

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
I will be annoyed that I'm not motivated enough.

Speaker 3 (01:06:52):
And then right now, because of the season that I'm
in in my life, I'm calling it a season. I'm
I'm choosing to really focus on being a mom. I
wish that I could throw my phone away, but that's
how we make money, and you know what I mean.
So like it it feels like such a tug of
war inside of myself sometimes so that I struggle with it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
So I want self discipline.

Speaker 3 (01:07:15):
I'm actually on a fitness and health journey because I
feel like if I can really find a way to
be disciplined in that area of my life.

Speaker 2 (01:07:22):
It will be in the other area.

Speaker 4 (01:07:23):
That's so funny. I'm starting this ninety day thing tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
I meal planned, like, tell me, you still want to
go dance with the Hitas? Let me know.

Speaker 3 (01:07:31):
Yes, I wish they were, but they were proof of
a life of discipline.

Speaker 2 (01:07:37):
You know what I'm saying. I want to be that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:07:39):
Yes, I don't know there be a but it sounds exciting.

Speaker 3 (01:07:43):
It's a dance class, and they were doing amazing, and
I was out of breath, dying in the back. I
was like about to break out some Cheetah Girls choreography
and see if I could keep up.

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
Wasn't happening? Okay, what is yours?

Speaker 4 (01:07:58):
You're a hurdle, your challenge, I would say, it's me.

Speaker 1 (01:08:02):
I would say I'm my biggest challenge every day and
I and I and I live with me and and
the winds all run into the the office of the
room and be like, Babe, today's a wind. I feel great.
I'm doing good. I passed this challenge at the bagel
shop today or whatever it is.

Speaker 3 (01:08:19):
Small things, bro, I don't know. I can send him
to a strange place.

Speaker 1 (01:08:28):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:08:30):
He's been crashing out, crashing out.

Speaker 1 (01:08:33):
Yo, He's crashing.

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
Out for real, though for real at.

Speaker 1 (01:08:39):
Least we're laughing about it. So I don't know. Man,
The smallest things drive me bananas, like like incompetent people
on the phone, just drive me.

Speaker 2 (01:08:51):
My son's swimming lasson?

Speaker 1 (01:08:54):
Why are you sharing it in detail? On ear?

Speaker 3 (01:08:57):
Give on the phone, I'm like, are you okay?

Speaker 1 (01:09:03):
To the lady. Didn't hear me? She heard me going there,
asks me questions, you have to talk and I'm losing it,
And then I pulled back three seconds later ago, what
is wrong with you? Dude?

Speaker 4 (01:09:15):
Can I tell you what I think it probably is.
I'm not your therapists. This is not about crashing out.
It's just patience.

Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
There it is, and it's warn't wearing things.

Speaker 4 (01:09:27):
Your patience is a little low right now, probably because
the world is crazy. Maybe you're going on every time
is limited and so and people. I think it's not
to put an age on it, but as you get older,
there is something to you have less patience for.

Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
I'm trying not to be the grumpy old man. I
have less patience for dumb stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:09:51):
But the worst part is me and his kids. We
be they dying laughing. We will film him crashing.

Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
But then there'll be a there'll be a real problem.
Somebody could problem at the top of their head because
I hit a speed bump in Puerto Rico. This is
why this drives are crazy, because I'm minor on majors
and major.

Speaker 3 (01:10:14):
Taking this person to the emergency. This is a real
true story. He hit his speed bump. You're not the
greatest driver. We know this, guys, that's not even fair.
He hits the speed bumps in Porto Ricans. They don't
have the sign this table. Okay, someone's in the back,
they'll see hits. At Israel, we're literally looking me and
have started Lily are searching for the nearest emergency room.

(01:10:35):
We're We're like, oh my god, oh my god, oh
my god, oh my god, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:10:38):
I am He is eating a breakfast sandwich.

Speaker 1 (01:10:42):
It was a MAJORCA sandwich though those are the best ones,
you know, this eating a sandwich.

Speaker 2 (01:10:47):
We I want it to stop eating the sandwich.

Speaker 1 (01:10:50):
You have to eat it while it's hot.

Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
It was amazing you are, that's that's unwell, I know
I'm being extra. He was eating the sandwich and you
were just you.

Speaker 1 (01:11:01):
Were so you were triggered by the sandwich.

Speaker 2 (01:11:04):
He was eating the sandwich.

Speaker 1 (01:11:05):
Guys, all, y'all are worried about this moment? If I
add my worry to this moment, and ever is also
screaming like how is.

Speaker 2 (01:11:14):
That gonna help? He figured we had you guys got
to eat his hand.

Speaker 4 (01:11:18):
I'm will drive you wherever you.

Speaker 1 (01:11:19):
Tell me to drive you, and I'm chill, but let
somebody on the phone, or or let my phone not
work or let And it's like the craziest thing I got.

Speaker 3 (01:11:29):
I was bleeding and he was eating a sandwich. The
girl couldn't figure out if it was my if I
was under Adrian bylone or Adrian hot in the kids
swim lessons.

Speaker 2 (01:11:37):
And he's like, I don't know, she don't know. Take
the phone.

Speaker 4 (01:11:42):
What I feel so attacked? Right?

Speaker 1 (01:11:45):
Why didn't I answer these questions?

Speaker 4 (01:11:46):
It's a stupid question. You shouldn't just you shouldn't.

Speaker 1 (01:11:49):
Skipped on a fitness journey too, But there it is.

Speaker 4 (01:11:55):
I love that. Oh my god, all right, so let's
finish on in real Yeah, And I don't know how
to ask you this. Do I ask you this in
terms of your careers or family or maybe both? But
in real life? What do you think your legacy will
be individually.

Speaker 2 (01:12:12):
I can't make this up.

Speaker 3 (01:12:14):
I thought about this just the other day, and I'm
a stand on what I really thought about.

Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
I was driving and someone else had asked me the
question I.

Speaker 3 (01:12:25):
Think the little the little boy interviewed me was like,
if you had a legacy, what you want to be
the legacy that I want?

Speaker 2 (01:12:31):
Wow, it sounded so much better in my head.

Speaker 4 (01:12:35):
Spin it out, get it out now.

Speaker 3 (01:12:37):
I have to hear it sounded it sounded like that
only my job, but it sounds so whack the way
I'm gonna say so pretty much. I was like, I
actually don't really think about my legacy. Shut up my
legacy like in the world, because the reality is if
you watch Cheetah Girls or three l W or The

(01:12:58):
Real or any of those things, or even my YouTube,
there's only but so much you know about me, right,
or that you think you know about me? And I
was like, I really only care about however views my legacy,
like how he views me as a mom? Like was
I the mom that took baths with him? Did I
crawl on the floor?

Speaker 2 (01:13:15):
Like what? Like?

Speaker 3 (01:13:16):
How might I told you? It sounded way better in
my head, sounds perfect. Do you know what I'm saying,
Like I because I think living your life, trying to
live up to this idea of a legacy you hope
to have for a bunch of people that don't really
know you is very difficult. Versus I can choose to

(01:13:37):
live every day to create a legacy that my son
can be like she was a phenomenal present mom and
like that's actually all I care about at this point,
Like I mean, I hope I had some good impact,
think like you know, but when I thought about it
as legacy, it felt burdensome, Like it felt like, oh,

(01:13:57):
like did I make my mark? Like did I do
something good? And what will that be? Or what will
be said of that? And then I was like, girl,
just let your legacy be you know who you were
at home as a wife and a mother, like who
I was as a sister, as a daughter. You know
what I mean, I do Like that to me is
what I want to focus on. I knew your career

(01:14:20):
clearly right now, upset, I want to do right now.

Speaker 2 (01:14:24):
You'll be like I sang Alpha and Omega everybody you.

Speaker 1 (01:14:27):
Like them, I think, I think again, the songs will
kind of come and go. I think when I sat
down to write certain songs, though I always wanted to
write them in a timeless way, Like I don't ever
want to be a trendy writer. I kind of want
to be a timeless writer, which is why all this
new music we've been doing kind of really resonates with me.
That said, I think songs are going to come and

(01:14:48):
go and people what you don't want to be is like,
who is the guy that did that song ten years ago?
What's his name? Again? I don't necessarily want to be that.
And if you're only known for that, then how sad?
But I think what.

Speaker 4 (01:15:04):
I mean, it's true. Where do you guess.

Speaker 2 (01:15:07):
If you're only that, who cares? If you're known as
the what was that song?

Speaker 1 (01:15:10):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:15:11):
That's amazing there was a song.

Speaker 1 (01:15:12):
But asked for me.

Speaker 4 (01:15:14):
No, that would be sad to me.

Speaker 1 (01:15:15):
That would be that would be quite sad to me
if you were just similar. Where are they now filed?
But that's inevitable. That part is inevitable. And the older
I get, I can't remember things that I knew, like clear,
clear clear. That said, I want the legacy for me
to be like that guy. If he was your friend,

(01:15:38):
you had a good friend, if that guy was in
your life. You had somebody on your team worthwhile, you
had a good friend, you had a good member of
your family, whatever it was. I'd love to keep working
on it and eventually be known as like a great
husband and a great father. And I'm still working on
those things and that's a daily thing. But but I

(01:16:00):
do want to be a good human to the people
that I interact with. And I think, you know, you know,
how have you ever thought about my my memorial service,
what it's going to be like? Have you ever gone
that dark in that dace? Yes, but you sit there
and go the people that get up, I just hope
they go. Man, I was down, I was in trouble

(01:16:21):
and this dude showed up, Like you hope that those
are the stories of Like this guy was just a
good dude.

Speaker 2 (01:16:28):
He was a guy that shows up. Though.

Speaker 3 (01:16:30):
You're a great friend to your friends, what a great
You're such a great friend that I'll be like, do
you have to leave? Like why are you going to that?
I want to show up for my friend, Like he's
he's a good good friend.

Speaker 4 (01:16:46):
Yeah, okay, well done, then, guys.

Speaker 2 (01:16:49):
Then was my legacy thing as deep as I thought
it was it was perfect.

Speaker 1 (01:16:52):
It was great.

Speaker 4 (01:16:52):
Let me tell you why it's perfect for it to be.

Speaker 1 (01:16:54):
Forever, that the legacy that matters to Ever is the
only legacy.

Speaker 3 (01:16:58):
That's like what else can I like I try to
think or imagine, you know.

Speaker 4 (01:17:02):
It was absolutely perfect. Everything was absolutely perfect today. Can
you followed? The little.

Speaker 3 (01:17:10):
God made me unique exactly the way I am? And
the Bible I'm gonna actually send it to you was
so good. I had to say out loud, thank you
God for my personality. I was weeping in the car,
and I don't know why because I was like, thank
you God for like my height, my like they made
you go through all these things and it was so good.

Speaker 2 (01:17:29):
And it's weird.

Speaker 3 (01:17:29):
You don't realize that you might have an insecurity about
something like you know, like I don't think about it
every day playing with Ever. But then it's like you're
gonna go have this conversation and I was like, what
do I have something to say?

Speaker 2 (01:17:43):
Like are they going to watch it? And be like she.

Speaker 3 (01:17:46):
Was pointless to have, you know, but that's real, And
because I haven't done it in a while, it just
was like a weird thing. But I'm so glad it
was with you, and there's never a weird moment talking
to you.

Speaker 4 (01:17:56):
Now, I feel like I feel that too sometimes. I
mean I feel that from this side all the time,
like are we going to create something that matters in
somebody's life? Right? So I kind of come to terms
with it, like if we get ten views or we
get a million views, as long as I left something
that I feel could land for somebody or be useful
to somebody, I have to, like, I have to put

(01:18:16):
the emphasis and effort on that. Yeah, not that I'm not,
you know, I care like everybody else cares. You want
text to be successful, and you want to do the
things I want to promote it. I want to have
the clips and I want to do all of that. Yeah,
but that comes after.

Speaker 1 (01:18:28):
Is it an enjoyable gig? Do you like doing it this?

Speaker 4 (01:18:31):
Yes? I do like it especial to.

Speaker 1 (01:18:33):
Work leading up to it or all that goes into
just this conversation. Is it enjoyable? Is it hard work?

Speaker 4 (01:18:40):
It's most enjoyable when I'm on the path.

Speaker 2 (01:18:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:18:46):
Yeah, it's most enjoyable when I'm sitting home doing something
I'm supposed to do and something comes to me and
says call Adrian Israel, because you should talk about how
she's really manifest like they're doing so well and some
people should be able to un learn from that. And
so when I have that to make the call and
then it comes together and then you come and then
we talk about it, and I feel like there are

(01:19:08):
plenty of things that you guys shared today that I
know somebody needs to hear somebody. So then I feel
that I did good.

Speaker 1 (01:19:18):
I love that I'm only asking because I'm getting ready
to possibly launch something against her better judgment.

Speaker 2 (01:19:24):
I what.

Speaker 1 (01:19:26):
I know, she don't want me to do it, but
I really want to.

Speaker 2 (01:19:29):
I love podcasts.

Speaker 3 (01:19:30):
I think there's a lot of people, a lot of
them people would podcasts.

Speaker 4 (01:19:35):
Something's going to happen. Yeah, but I will tell you so.
Last we just had an episode with Cynthia Reva. Yeah,
and she was talking about her definition of love. I
love where things overlap from episode to episode. So it
just reminds me sometimes I don't know just things there's
a threat, there's a threat. But she was saying her
definition of love is like two people walking each other

(01:19:55):
home if you're doing it right, because sometimes people get
possessive or it's too watching and people don't grow in
a relationship if you are, if you don't allow them
to have their space to be they are and to grow.
And so it's not like a control thing. It's like
walking together. You walking each other home, I know, because
your life is the beginning and the middle of it.
And then if you find the right person, you walk

(01:20:17):
each other home. Right. Yeah, I thought that was really
sweet too. But the real purpose is that you have
to love each other through the different seasons and let
them be who they're going to become. Yes, And then
she said and become and become and become a biguse.

Speaker 1 (01:20:29):
I caught that when she said that.

Speaker 2 (01:20:31):
To me, that was the best part of that, because
that's hard for people.

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
That's what resonated with me when she said and become
and then she kept going and become and become, and
I went, that's a thing, the real thing, Yeah, because
nobody who I am like I said, who I was
fifteen years ago making out my last Will and Testament
is not who I am now at all. And most
of the players that were in that are nowhere in

(01:20:57):
my life. So I've been become me becoming even why
I am Now.

Speaker 4 (01:21:02):
That's why you gotta let him podcast. I know.

Speaker 2 (01:21:05):
What I did there for.

Speaker 3 (01:21:06):
You, but who I am now from when I got married.
I can't believe it's going to be ten years. It's
going to be ten years that you went to my
wedding in Paris.

Speaker 2 (01:21:16):
Who I was then?

Speaker 3 (01:21:17):
You know, I don't drink anymore, So like even that,
like in a marriage, that makes you.

Speaker 1 (01:21:22):
Said anymore after the story was told about your fifteen
year old self with him.

Speaker 4 (01:21:26):
I know. But by the way, I just want the
record to show she wasn't fifteen she was.

Speaker 2 (01:21:30):
We always say I wasn't fifteen, dad.

Speaker 4 (01:21:33):
You're probably more like seventeen fifteen.

Speaker 2 (01:21:35):
Yes, No, the reality is I met you that like.

Speaker 3 (01:21:40):
I met you that you didn't take me out that night.
It was like the year's of friendship and we then
we had we had a fun night. With that being said,
like I don't like that changes like who you date,
like you know, like yeah, like I really do like
staying home.

Speaker 2 (01:21:55):
I feel like we used to like to.

Speaker 1 (01:21:56):
Go out a line.

Speaker 2 (01:21:57):
So you need to love me through this stage coming
and becoming a becoming. I'm becoming someone that likes to
stay home.

Speaker 3 (01:22:04):
You need to stay home while he's such a social butterfly,
becoming this one.

Speaker 4 (01:22:09):
You're gonna let him become who's becoming.

Speaker 2 (01:22:12):
I'm trying.

Speaker 4 (01:22:14):
Well. I love who you guys are right now.

Speaker 2 (01:22:17):
Thank you in life. We love you in real life.
This is Adrian and this is Israel in real life.

Speaker 4 (01:22:23):
For more episodes, you know to due, subscribe, like comments,
and we'll see you on the next I R O
podcast

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Host

Angie Martinez

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Adrienne & Israel On Marriage, Embracing Parenthood & Open Communication