TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships
Struggling with jealousy, insecurity, or self-doubt? You're not alone. Join Pattern Transformation Expert Shanenn Bryant as she combines humor, hard-won wisdom, and practical strategies to help you break free from the patterns keeping you stuck. From 2 AM social media stalking sessions to second-guessing yourself at work, each episode tackles the real struggles women face with jealousy, insecurity and confidence. Shanenn draws from her experience and expertise in attachment theory to help women transform from overwhelming insecurity to unshakeable confidence in both relationships and career. Whether you're battling relationship jealousy or letting imposter syndrome hold you back in the workplace, you'll discover how to recognize your patterns, regulate your emotions, and transform your story. Ready to stop letting insecurity and jealousy run your life? Subscribe now to start writing a new story - one that isn't controlled by old patterns or endless overthinking.
Episodes
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with physician and author Dr. Frank Spinelli to talk about shame, why it can become so deeply tied to jealousy and insecurity, and how one triggering moment can quickly turn into a spiral.
You get triggered. You check the phone, withdraw, accuse, react, or do something you later regret. Then comes the second layer: “Why did I do that?” “What’s wrong with me?&rdqu...
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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Daniel Smith to explore a question most of us never stop to ask:
What if the emotions you're trying hardest to get rid of are actually trying to help you?
Whether it's jealousy, shame, envy, regret, or anxiety, many of us spend our lives chasin...
You messed up. You spiraled. You said something you wish you could take back. And now you feel terrible — which actually means you're doing something right. Feeling bad after a jealous episode is healthy. It means you care.
But there's a difference between feeling bad and living there. And if you're someone who stays in the spiral for hours, days, or even weeks after a jealous episode — replaying it, shutting dow...
You knew you were wrong the second he flipped that phone around. Nothing suspicious. Just a bacon recipe.
And somehow you were still annoyed at him.
That feeling has a name — and once you understand it, you can’t unsee it.
You’ve done the spiral. You built the whole case in your head. And then the truth came out and it was… a bacon recipe. You know you were wrong. They know you were wrong. And some...
You’re Already Living the Worst Case Scenario
What if the thing you’re most afraid of happening would actually hurt less than what you’re putting yourself through right now? It sounds hard to believe—but there’s real research behind it.
In this solo episode, Shanenn digs into why the jealous spiral itself is the worst-case scenario—not the thing you’re afraid of. You’re not waitin...
You know that voice in your head—the one that takes a missed text or a sideways glance and turns it into a full-blown crisis? That's your What If Machine, and it's been running the show for way too long. In this episode, Shanenn breaks down why your brain defaults to worst-case scenarios, where those fear stories actually come from (spoiler: it's usually not your current partner), and how those protective instincts end up cre...
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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn explores one of the most confusing and isolating experiences for anyone who struggles with jealousy: watching a secure person stay completely calm in a situation that would send you into a spiral.
Starting with a vivid poolside story that will feel painfully relatable, Shanenn breaks down why secure people aren’t blind to what’s happening around them&m...
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Does your relationship feel… quieter lately?
The butterflies are gone. The texts are shorter. Affection feels different. And now your brain is spiraling:
Did they lose interest?
Is this my fault?
Is the spark gone?
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down what’s actually happening when the intensity fades in a long-term relationship — especially if you s...
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Insecurity doesn’t always scream. Sometimes, it whispers lies that keep us stuck.
In this solo episode, Shanenn unpacks the three most convincing lies insecurity tells you—and why they feel so real even when they’re not. Whether it’s the urge to check their phone, overanalyze tone, or control every detail in your relationship… this episode will he...
If you’ve ever felt stuck in a mental loop, replaying conversations, spiraling into insecurity, or feeling something is wrong but you can’t quite name it—this episode is for you.
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with Annette Furio, founder of Season Journals, to talk about how journaling can help you slow down, make sense of your thoughts, and create space between what you feel and how you react.
f you...
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down a question so many people quietly struggle with—especially this time of year:
Why do I feel calm and trusting with my partner sometimes… and anxious, suspicious, or insecure with them at other times—when nothing has actually changed?
As the holidays approach and routines shift, old patterns can resurface. Shanenn explains why these emotional swings don’t mean y...
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down why small moments in your relationship can trigger huge emotional reactions.
If you’ve ever felt embarrassed by your reaction, overwhelmed by jealousy, or hijacked by anxiety over something that logically felt minor, this episode explains what’s really happening beneath the surface.
Shanenn introduces the concept of emotional agility—the ability to feel deeply without...
If you've ever thought "I'm too much," felt shame around your jealousy, or struggled with feeling "needy" in relationships, this episode will be a relief and a revelation. Shanenn sits down with Trevor Hansen, coach and founder of The Art of Healing, to dismantle the shame loop of anxious attachment and show how it can be transformed into self-trust and secure connection.
Trevor shares his raw personal story—from toxic relatio...
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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn flips the script on what it means to be “the jealous one” in a relationship—and trust us, you’ll never see your spirals the same again.
Ever swear you’re not going to snoop, spiral, or snap... and then do it anyway? That doesn’t mean you’re some controlling jerk. It means you’ve go...
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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn dives into one of the most exhausting relationship cycles—when you keep second-guessing your partner, breaking up, getting back together, and wondering if they’re “the one.”
The truth? Your confusion isn’t about your partner. It’s about your pattern.
If you’ve ever caught yourself analyzing every text, tone, or gesture, or ...
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In this powerful solo episode, Shanenn cracks open a question many of us quietly carry:
“If I weren’t jealous… who would I be?”
From the deck of a cruise ship years ago to the emotional trenches of everyday hypervigilance, Shanenn walks you through how jealousy feels like its become your identity—and how to begin shedding it.
She reveals why your brain clings to jealousy ...
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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn gets real about a silent habit that so many listeners can relate to—but few talk about openly: using alcohol to cope with jealousy, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm in relationships.
From the glass of wine that helps you "take the edge off" before date night… to the third drink that leads to a spiral of shame, regret, and disconnection&...
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In this solo episode of Top Self, host Shanenn dives deep into one of the most anxiety-triggering scenarios in relationships: witnessing your partner flirt with someone else. Is it a sign they’re unhappy? Are they secretly interested in someone else? Or…could it mean something entirely different?
Drawing from scientific research and her personal journey, Shanenn shares the six core reaso...
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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn shares a deeply relatable scenario: it’s 10 p.m., you’re staring at your phone, spiraling over a text that simply says, “Okay, sounds good. Talk to you tomorrow.” If that’s ever sent you into an emotional tailspin, this episode is for you.
We explore why relationship insecurity creates an overwhelming urge...
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down one of the most common communication traps in relationships: expecting your partner to read your mind.
Whether you're silently hoping your partner just knows you need a hug—or you're dropping hints that never land—this episode is your guide to getting what you actually need without spiraling, snapping, or shutting down.
From attachment styles to the six human needs, Shanenn...
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