Legs & Eggs

Legs & Eggs

Made in the 70s and acid washed in the 90s Legs & Eggs is Heather, Klem Stump, and Fupa Jones. You’re cool and we know it. You know Baby Jessica was put in a well to die. Your teachers made you watch the Challenger explode on live TV. It isn’t weird that Magic Johnson had AIDS and then didn’t. It’s why you are the way you are. You’ll go places you’ve always thought to go but never wanted to go alone. Like a glory hole or The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. We’ll take you and you won’t have to get wet unless you want to ride down Hunter Biden’s Slip n’ Slide Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episodes

April 14, 2025 38 mins

Come and knock on our door. Come and sit on our couch. Come shine a black light on our couch and wonder what on earth can make a splatter that shape.

Come get stripped down with us. We just chilling at home. We getting sensual under the covers. Klem drops a Top Ten in the tub. Heather smokes a cigarette and we haaaaaaaaaaangin’. We talkin’ bout practice. By “practice” I mean double penetration. That’s two penetrations going on at on...

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We have more Shidder Mob.

It’s not a secret.

We’re telling you right now

Before you leak it

Have you hugged your kid today? Specifically, have you hugged your kid in a Chinese restaurant on Cape Cod? Does your finger have a name? Is it Chester? Chester the Finger? I know a finger. His name is Finger. He hangs out with Hal but that’s a story for another time because we have more SHIDDER MOB and a whole bunch of other business to get to.

...

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February 22, 2025 51 mins

SHIDDER MOB IS HERE! A$AP SHID and THE SHITMAN from SHIDDER MOB talk all things Shidder Mob. We mob out to that shid. They’re in their prime strapping years. We strap it on and shid it out and when all is said and done it’s Shidder Mob. And boy does it get done. With Shid. Shidder Mob.

And what else? We’ve got HEATHER’S SWEET VACATION PLANS for the Legs & Eggs throuple! Planes crash and placentas fall to the floor! We visit La I...

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November 4, 2024 48 mins

It's Election Season. Who doesn't want more election coverage? Everyone is so excited about the election. No one is tired. We've got some election predictions for you. We've also got other stuff. Lots of other things. Things like Fox and Julio from Conspiracy Soldiers. What Heather would do to Eminem if he asked. Fupa Jones sings and you'll love it. Klem Stump sings and you'll hate it. Enjoy this episode on the last day of Election...

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October 17, 2024 48 mins

Like sands through da muthafuckin’ hourglass, these are the LEGS & EGGS OF OUR LIVES!!!

We’re back with a smooth one! Gaveen returns with Klem and Fupa. The three ball out and explore the world of space ghosts (different from the guy named Space Ghost, you’'ll see) while they get hype for Tubi Tuesday. All the while Heather cleans her house and drinks some Oreo coke! Klem poops a smooth one! Eminem becomes a grandfathe...

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September 27, 2024 44 mins

You’re a prebiotic soda. Yes you are. And you’re about to be drank by Heather. Oh yeah. That’s where you’re gonna become biotic. She’s your mom. She’s our mom. She’s everyone’s mom.

Legs & Eggs: The Podcast is back. Back like Sir Mix-A-Lot’s baby. Heather shits on Billboard’s Top 10 Rock Singers list while simultaneously believing that Jon Bon Jovi should be on it. She also reviews food, like — you guessed it — prebiotic soda. T...

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September 11, 2024 45 mins

It’s 9/11. And Legs & Eggs is back again from the depths of your soul to the front of your face. Guten tag, bitchez! Guten tag!


Today we celebrate the birth of Freedom Fries and the death of Saddam Hussein. Today we fly the corn muffin at half-mast. Today we remember to not forget. 


Celebrating with us for the first time ever is the one, the only GAVEEN! Let’s welcome Gaveen to the podcast! We've got n...

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July 21, 2024 55 mins

OR IMMEDIATE RELEASE!

Joe’s dropping out. We had thoughts. You need to hear them. Listen to Fupa, Klem, and Heather react to the news of Joe Biden dropping out of the Presidential race. We all know they’ve been holding him up Weekend at Bernie’s style for months anyway. 

They drone struck and missed Cher’s Diner and Joe got retired so Val Kilmer is now President for the next 38 days until Jojo Siwa becomes Doja Cqt and we all ca...

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June 13, 2024 69 mins

This morning Klem wrapped herself around me and said "you like me because I have big titties".


Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you The Best of the rest of Klem Stump


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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June 6, 2024 51 mins

What can we say about Heather that hasn’t been said before? We can’t. It has all been said before because Heather is the most basic of all basic bitches. Heather invented basic. You’ve heard of NormCore. Well, Heather inspired it with her infinite power of basic. Being that basic can make a girl tired. And oh boy is Heather tired. She’s exhausted with all the stupidity in the world. She’d like everyone to shut up and let her enjoy ...

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May 30, 2024 44 mins

Who is Fupa Jones? He’s a man with a plan. A rebel without a cause. He’s 3 children in a trench coat. Fupa Jones is all of us. He’s none of us. He’s an Actor, in a bathtub. It’s Fupa Jones’, the actor’s bathtub. The bathtub of Fupa Jones, the actor. Fupa Jones is a poet. A beautiful poet. A hopefully someday award winning poet. He’s the man who brought us the hits Spaceman Dan and Kobe Bryant is on Fire. Is he a drug addled podcast...

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May 23, 2024 59 mins

All the Wolf you love to eat! This episode is like a burrito that’s choc full o’ Wolf Blitzer. You thought you knew Wolf Blitzer but you don’t know Wolf Blitzer like we know Wolf Blitzer so you ain’t got no fuckin’ idea what you’re talkin’ bout when you bring that weak-ass Wolf Blitzer shit into my Wplf Blitzer motherfuckin house motherfuckers


We got our friends The Dillon Street Boys from Swamp Talk with us this week. We got He...

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May 16, 2024 78 mins

Before Bernie Kolfeld. Before Heather Facts. Before Toilet Talk with Klem Stump. Before Legs & Eggs there was a man, a woman, and a plan. It was a canal. It was a house. An Anal House.


Legs & Eggs presents an episode of Anal House, Klem and Fupa’s first podcast which became the L&E you know today. These aren’t available anywhere. But we’re making this one available to you right now! So come on up to the house.&n...

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May 9, 2024 41 mins

Is Jelly Roll a Government plant? Our sources say maybe? Does Bono sculpt his chest hair? Yes, and you won’t believe what sculpting product he uses. Does Bright Eyes suck their own nipples? Reply hazy, try again.


Also, Mayor Eric Adams tells you what you can you experience in New York. President Joe describes things in terms of how many 9/11s they are. And Klem gives you the hot scoop with her Toilet Talk!


And that’s not all!...

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May 2, 2024 50 mins

Yenshee Baby, baby! It’s been a while. Time to squeeze this baby out.


We are so back. Backer than ever. Fox and Julio from Conspiracy Soldiers are here! Yes they are! We fucking around and finding out.


Heather has baking stories. Klem eats cheese. Everyone has intimate relations with John Popper of Blues Traveler. 


Doctor Penis. Medicine Penis.


ABC’s Head Of The Class stars Dan Schneider and Howard Hesseman.


Sub...

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March 14, 2024 57 mins

This weeks Legs & Eggs is WKNY FM 201.2! Tune in, turn off, and have yourself a good scratch.

It seems like only a few short years ago when Eric Clapton was birthed out of a series of transistor tubes and shot out on the radio waves, but that was 47 short years and one dead toddler ago. Time sure does fly when you’re eating seafood specials and having prostate cancer treatments. Why, I can remember being birthed out myself....

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February 19, 2024 45 mins

New year. New podcast. New activewear! Find out just how active that wear is with your friends at Legs and Eggs! Why does Jimmy Smits looks like that? Why does Nick Turturro look like a flushed turd but his brother is cool AF? Why do we kill everyone Sipowicz loves?

These questions, and more, will be addressed like Lincoln addressed Gettysburg.Which reminds me! Legs and Eggs is proud to introduce — wait for it — DOCTOR PENIS, MEDICI...

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Leggers and Eggers, my dear friends, we are gathered here today to acknowledge ONE YEAR OF LEGS AND EGGS PODCAST! 

Year One is Done. Year Two is New! But we’re not there yet. Gotta celebrate that YEAR ONE with something special. Something authentic. Something like a butt but better. Like two butts. A third butt. 

Which is why we here today welcome you to the LEGS AND EGGS FIRST-YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECTACULAR! It is the Third ...

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November 2, 2023 55 mins

It’s two in the afternoon here. Heather is really fucking drunk and off getting a recreational pap smear. Captain Karl the Sex Doll filled in your mom, and then filled in for Heather in this amazing collaboration we got going on. We have ANTHROPOS! What’s that you ask? We’ll let Alexander Wolf, of Wolf Mountain Workshop explain. 

“Alexander became wickedly jealous that Monte was able to be on the podcast promoting inc: The Podc...

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October 19, 2023 60 mins

We have three, count them THREE excellent guests this week! First, Lauren from the Well Behaved Women podcast is back! She joins Sara and Klem in a conversation with Uther Naysmith where they talk about UK politics and why he left the Labour Party. They also discuss Oppenheimer, how propaganda is mind control, and Julian Assange. Next, we welcome Bo Dunk, who is a Navy vet from Texas. He talks to Heather, Sara, and Klem a...

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