September 15, 2020 • 13 mins
George Noory and relationship coach Allana Pratt explore her work helping people manage the changes to their lives during the COVID-19 pandemic, and how to create and maintain stronger relationships.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Now here's a highlight from Coast to Coast AM on
iHeartRadio and we hope this helps you this the next
couple hours. Alant of Pratt with us Ivy League Graduate
an author relationship coach. She's the go to authority for
those who have suffered heartbreak and loss and are ready
to rebuild their lives in healthy and positive ways and
(00:20):
emerge from lockdown with a new lease on life. Certified
coach with nearly five million viewers on YouTube, Alana offers
very private group sessions, online coaching programs if you're single,
if you're in a relationship, to help clients develop a
healthy intimate relationship and themselves first, which naturally attracts and
(00:41):
enhances their ideal partnerships. Atlanta Pratt, first time on Coast
to Coast, Hi, Atlanta, Oh it's great to be here.
Thank you so much for having me, Georgia. I'm looking
forward to this. What a tough time for a lot
of people. Uh right, Yeah, this lockdown is something else?
And how do they coach? Yeah? The idea of all
(01:02):
of this forced upon us. We used to think we
had control of our lives. Nope, right, this idea of
like I need certainty on the outside to feel okay
on the inside, and that's been taken away. So we
have to find certainty safety on the inside now, and
(01:22):
that's tough for a lot of people. I had mentioned
that divorces are up, suicides are up. Can we blame
COVID nineteen in the lockdown for that? It's a catalyst
of something I think was always going on under the surface. Anyways,
it's certainly what I find in my practice that we've
been able to just make it work with Facebook, just
(01:44):
go on Facebook and avoid my problems or or of
course there's a lot of other like obesity or drugs
or or you know, the list goes on. And when
there isn't a global pandemic, you know, we can sort
of cope with our avoidance mechanisms. But when something is
intent as COVID and the loss of life and jobs
and freedom, we can't escape anymore. So we have to
(02:07):
absolutely address the elephant in the living room, you know,
head on, and that requires we have to feel I
have to slow down and feel face you know, face
our feelings, and most of us haven't been trained on
how to do that, which leads to I'm out of here.
Let's just get a divorce or I'm literally out of here,
off the planet. Yeah. Do you find that the couples
(02:29):
get divorced if they a little quicker, if they don't
have children. Well, I think that is an excuse to go, okay,
well let's make this work more for the children. But
I grew up with parents that you know, I wish
they got a divorce, George, Really I did not. Well, yeah,
I got taught all the unhealthy things about a relationship.
(02:51):
So I wish they would have had the courage to
bless and release each other and consciously uncoupled. Then I
could have had like four parents who were kind and
loved each other rather than two that fought all the time.
But I do think it is a bit of an
easier out if the kids aren't there. But I think
the main issue across the board is that people. People
(03:13):
haven't learned how to communicate with themselves, so they can't
communicate with another. You know, my parents were literally matched
together by their parents. They basically said, the Gabe and Georgette,
we want you to to meet each other and get married.
They went out and they had a good time, and
(03:35):
they got married, and they stayed married until my dad
died several years ago. Wow. You know it's interesting. Every
generation has its own pros and cons or challenges and
you know, easier, easier ways. We have independence, we have choice,
we have the vote. We you know, women can send
for themselves and have their own thriving careers and so
(03:57):
that's a positive. And yeah, I think the challenge comes
that we swipe left too quickly, you know, when something
gets a little tough, we're out of here and we
haven't learned to, you know, to really have perseverance and
resilience and grit because the structures aren't there to hold
us in the marriage. You know, it's just easy to
(04:20):
move on. How did you get involved in this? Oh?
Because I was a hot mess. I had to go
to my own counseling, my own therapy. Really. Oh yes,
isn't it that we always need to teach what we
need to learn. That's that's been my and you just
decided you want to do this for a living well
back in the day twenty years ago. I'm fifty now,
(04:41):
so about twenty years ago I was going through sound thirty.
By the way, see see it again, you sound thirty? Oh,
you can just talk to me like that on that. So, yeah,
I was in my first marriage and it wasn't going
very well, and I started to go to therapy and
workshops and I was sort of cast I was brought
to the side. They're like, hey, you're good at this.
(05:03):
People tell you things they haven't told other people, sometimes
things they haven't even told themselves. What's going on? And
I said, well, I have a great deal of love
for humanity. I don't think there's any good in judging
people or rejecting them. I'm just a safe place for
them to be real. So that started me on my
own becoming a coach and going through my own It
(05:26):
was two divorces and a custody battle. I've been through
some interesting experiences, but it makes me real and safe
for people not to feel ashamed of their own path,
so that we can get to the core and heal
that shame and guilt. You know, that's the lowest vibration
on hawk and scale of consciousness. I'm sure you know,
is that shame and guilt, and it holds people stuck.
(05:49):
But when you can transform that, integrate that heal that
it can turn into your superpower of like compassion, strength,
speaking up so I learned through the School of Hard
Knocks as well as a lot of different certifications, etc.
And I think it's just one of the greatest blessings
to be that safe place for a person to land
(06:10):
and not be judged and sit in the fire with
them and get through to the other side. Are we
blaming COVID nineteen for all these mishaps that people are having. Oh,
we're always blaming something, aren't we. Yeah, so this COVID
is the flavor of the data, blame for everything. But
I see life as your point of view creates your reality.
(06:31):
So if you want to see the glasses half full,
and so it is half empty, and so it is.
So COVID's the blame it all fine, But we can
also look at the blessings that COVID is brought. And
that's my point of view. I get to choose my
point of view, So that's my point of view. I
think COVID is an invitation to slow down, feel our feelings,
face what we have been avoiding in ourselves and been
(06:53):
avoiding in our relationship. Well, I mean, it is true
that COVID nineteen with the lockdown kind of forced us
to do things or look at things in a different way.
That's happening. Yeah, I love that it's forced us. We
often go along on an autopilot with life, with work,
(07:14):
with kids, with marriage, with the whole thing, and then
we're dead and then that's the end. And this has
given us a chance to wake up and go, Hey,
is this actually what I choose? Am I actually in charge?
Or am I going to be a big old victim
of my circumstances? How can I pivot? What else is possible?
I'm not going to let this stop me. So what
inside me is ready to emerge? That only because of COVID.
(07:39):
That's the catalyst to wake something up in me and
lean in to the discomfort, ask more questions, hang out
with more positive people, and see it as a gift.
We should have. You talked to some government leaders though,
because some of the things they've implemented are just so
outrageously crazy. I mean, here's an example. You can go
(08:03):
into a restaurant. You must wear your mask, but as
soon as you get to your table, you can take
your mask off. Now it doesn't exist when you sit.
That's right now. You cannot have a live piano player
in the restaurant that used to have, but you can
hear piped in music that's okay. Now is the piano
(08:27):
player going to give you COVID? Is that why they're
not there anymore? I just don't get it. No, I
think there's so much chaos and fear based decision making
that these crazy behaviors. I've heard of other ones at
the beach. You can stand at the beach but not sit,
or sit but not down. You can't sit at a bar,
(08:48):
but you can sit at a table right right. I
think it's a sad time for people trying to create
laws that give a sense of safety for people when
it's just insanity. So I agree, total craziness out there,
insanity out there, and again we get to choose how
we react or respond to it. Are we going to
(09:11):
just have a good laugh, look at the bright side,
make the best of it, or complain all day long?
I mean, I've got a precious, finite amount of energy
every day, and I choose to not allow another to
get my goat. I choose to not even let crazy
laws even though it takes a couple of deep breaths
to take me off my center. And I see it
(09:33):
as just ten more pushups, just more spiritual practice, and
we're all being invited into a lot of deep breathing
these days. But we can do it. We can rise,
and we can't do it alone. I don't think we
can do it alone. So thank you for this program,
and thank me for showing up for my community, and
thank everybody who's willing that together together we can get
(09:56):
through it. But alone, go in there and help those
people that are avoid or distancing, because that can be
a very scary place. We're going to take calls with
Alanna next hour. Those of you that are feeling the
lockdown issues, share your stories with us. I feel sorry, Atlana,
I always have for homeless people, but more so now
(10:16):
than ever before. I mean, especially in the LA area.
You see them under bridges, living in cardboard boxes and tents,
and yeah, it's not easy, no, and it's easier for
people to shut their hearts and look the other way.
So thank you for your bravery to feel and face that.
(10:37):
And what can we do about that? What would you
say is the biggest issue with this lockdown today based
on what you've seen, it's the lack of touch, the
lack of connection, the lack of being in another space.
I mean I do all because of masks. Does that
contribute to it? Yeah? I think it does. Like I've
(10:59):
even noticed myself. I'm a happy, connected, you know, vibrant chick.
When my mask is on, I stop making eye contact.
It's weird, even though that's all you can see. I know,
I know, but I've noticed I've I've lessened my degree
because I can't. They can't see me smiling. They can't
see that. I'm like, I like to smile at everybody.
I'm a Canadian. That's what we do. Oh are you are?
(11:21):
We love our Canadian neighbors. I'll tell you that, thank you.
I do too, And I'm noticing because I can't smile,
there's a part of me that feels defeated. So I
just don't even look anymore. So I think even the
masks create distancing between us, and I think that's the
most harmful problem with all of the distancing, and in
(11:43):
order to keep our heart open and stay connected when
we can't be around people, that's that's the trick. Well,
with COVID nineteen, I've learned the masks work to prevent
people who are sneezing from getting you. If you've got
one and they've got one, but I'm not sure just
talking or anything like that is going to really get
(12:05):
anybody infected. I agree, I don't really think they do.
They work terribly well, but they work for the sneezing
because sneezing you can hit somebody from ten feet. This
is true. This is true. Yeah, but it annoys me.
It still annoys me, and I have to deep breathe
for sure. But yeah, the idea that we could use
(12:26):
another technology like zoom, even though it's not the same
as a hug, nothing's the same as a hug. What
I do love about the brain is the brain doesn't
know any different if you tell it, okay, right now,
see it, think it, feel the emotion, and feel the
body sensation, and give yourself that time to imagine. I
know it's not as fun as a real hug, but
(12:48):
even imagining it starts to help the brain to emit
those hormones to help you feel that sense of connection
again in the meantime, before we get to know hug
each other all over again. Listen to more Coast to
Coast AM every weeknight at one a m. Eastern and
go to Coast to Coast am dot com for more
Now here's a highlight from Coast to Coast AM on
iHeartRadio and we hope this helps you this the next
couple hours. Alant of Pratt with us Ivy League Graduate
an author relationship coach. She's the go to authority for
those who have suffered heartbreak and loss and are ready
to rebuild their lives in healthy and positive ways and
(00:20):
emerge from lockdown with a new lease on life. Certified
coach with nearly five million viewers on YouTube, Alana offers
very private group sessions, online coaching programs if you're single,
if you're in a relationship, to help clients develop a
healthy intimate relationship and themselves first, which naturally attracts and
(00:41):
enhances their ideal partnerships. Atlanta Pratt, first time on Coast
to Coast, Hi, Atlanta, Oh it's great to be here.
Thank you so much for having me, Georgia. I'm looking
forward to this. What a tough time for a lot
of people. Uh right, Yeah, this lockdown is something else?
And how do they coach? Yeah? The idea of all
(01:02):
of this forced upon us. We used to think we
had control of our lives. Nope, right, this idea of
like I need certainty on the outside to feel okay
on the inside, and that's been taken away. So we
have to find certainty safety on the inside now, and
(01:22):
that's tough for a lot of people. I had mentioned
that divorces are up, suicides are up. Can we blame
COVID nineteen in the lockdown for that? It's a catalyst
of something I think was always going on under the surface. Anyways,
it's certainly what I find in my practice that we've
been able to just make it work with Facebook, just
(01:44):
go on Facebook and avoid my problems or or of
course there's a lot of other like obesity or drugs
or or you know, the list goes on. And when
there isn't a global pandemic, you know, we can sort
of cope with our avoidance mechanisms. But when something is
intent as COVID and the loss of life and jobs
and freedom, we can't escape anymore. So we have to
(02:07):
absolutely address the elephant in the living room, you know,
head on, and that requires we have to feel I
have to slow down and feel face you know, face
our feelings, and most of us haven't been trained on
how to do that, which leads to I'm out of here.
Let's just get a divorce or I'm literally out of here,
off the planet. Yeah. Do you find that the couples
(02:29):
get divorced if they a little quicker, if they don't
have children. Well, I think that is an excuse to go, okay,
well let's make this work more for the children. But
I grew up with parents that you know, I wish
they got a divorce, George, Really I did not. Well, yeah,
I got taught all the unhealthy things about a relationship.
(02:51):
So I wish they would have had the courage to
bless and release each other and consciously uncoupled. Then I
could have had like four parents who were kind and
loved each other rather than two that fought all the time.
But I do think it is a bit of an
easier out if the kids aren't there. But I think
the main issue across the board is that people. People
(03:13):
haven't learned how to communicate with themselves, so they can't
communicate with another. You know, my parents were literally matched
together by their parents. They basically said, the Gabe and Georgette,
we want you to to meet each other and get married.
They went out and they had a good time, and
(03:35):
they got married, and they stayed married until my dad
died several years ago. Wow. You know it's interesting. Every
generation has its own pros and cons or challenges and
you know, easier, easier ways. We have independence, we have choice,
we have the vote. We you know, women can send
for themselves and have their own thriving careers and so
(03:57):
that's a positive. And yeah, I think the challenge comes
that we swipe left too quickly, you know, when something
gets a little tough, we're out of here and we
haven't learned to, you know, to really have perseverance and
resilience and grit because the structures aren't there to hold
us in the marriage. You know, it's just easy to
(04:20):
move on. How did you get involved in this? Oh?
Because I was a hot mess. I had to go
to my own counseling, my own therapy. Really. Oh yes,
isn't it that we always need to teach what we
need to learn. That's that's been my and you just
decided you want to do this for a living well
back in the day twenty years ago. I'm fifty now,
(04:41):
so about twenty years ago I was going through sound thirty.
By the way, see see it again, you sound thirty? Oh,
you can just talk to me like that on that. So, yeah,
I was in my first marriage and it wasn't going
very well, and I started to go to therapy and
workshops and I was sort of cast I was brought
to the side. They're like, hey, you're good at this.
(05:03):
People tell you things they haven't told other people, sometimes
things they haven't even told themselves. What's going on? And
I said, well, I have a great deal of love
for humanity. I don't think there's any good in judging
people or rejecting them. I'm just a safe place for
them to be real. So that started me on my
own becoming a coach and going through my own It
(05:26):
was two divorces and a custody battle. I've been through
some interesting experiences, but it makes me real and safe
for people not to feel ashamed of their own path,
so that we can get to the core and heal
that shame and guilt. You know, that's the lowest vibration
on hawk and scale of consciousness. I'm sure you know,
is that shame and guilt, and it holds people stuck.
(05:49):
But when you can transform that, integrate that heal that
it can turn into your superpower of like compassion, strength,
speaking up so I learned through the School of Hard
Knocks as well as a lot of different certifications, etc.
And I think it's just one of the greatest blessings
to be that safe place for a person to land
(06:10):
and not be judged and sit in the fire with
them and get through to the other side. Are we
blaming COVID nineteen for all these mishaps that people are having. Oh,
we're always blaming something, aren't we. Yeah, so this COVID
is the flavor of the data, blame for everything. But
I see life as your point of view creates your reality.
(06:31):
So if you want to see the glasses half full,
and so it is half empty, and so it is.
So COVID's the blame it all fine, But we can
also look at the blessings that COVID is brought. And
that's my point of view. I get to choose my
point of view, So that's my point of view. I
think COVID is an invitation to slow down, feel our feelings,
face what we have been avoiding in ourselves and been
(06:53):
avoiding in our relationship. Well, I mean, it is true
that COVID nineteen with the lockdown kind of forced us
to do things or look at things in a different way.
That's happening. Yeah, I love that it's forced us. We
often go along on an autopilot with life, with work,
(07:14):
with kids, with marriage, with the whole thing, and then
we're dead and then that's the end. And this has
given us a chance to wake up and go, Hey,
is this actually what I choose? Am I actually in charge?
Or am I going to be a big old victim
of my circumstances? How can I pivot? What else is possible?
I'm not going to let this stop me. So what
inside me is ready to emerge? That only because of COVID.
(07:39):
That's the catalyst to wake something up in me and
lean in to the discomfort, ask more questions, hang out
with more positive people, and see it as a gift.
We should have. You talked to some government leaders though,
because some of the things they've implemented are just so
outrageously crazy. I mean, here's an example. You can go
(08:03):
into a restaurant. You must wear your mask, but as
soon as you get to your table, you can take
your mask off. Now it doesn't exist when you sit.
That's right now. You cannot have a live piano player
in the restaurant that used to have, but you can
hear piped in music that's okay. Now is the piano
(08:27):
player going to give you COVID? Is that why they're
not there anymore? I just don't get it. No, I
think there's so much chaos and fear based decision making
that these crazy behaviors. I've heard of other ones at
the beach. You can stand at the beach but not sit,
or sit but not down. You can't sit at a bar,
(08:48):
but you can sit at a table right right. I
think it's a sad time for people trying to create
laws that give a sense of safety for people when
it's just insanity. So I agree, total craziness out there,
insanity out there, and again we get to choose how
we react or respond to it. Are we going to
(09:11):
just have a good laugh, look at the bright side,
make the best of it, or complain all day long?
I mean, I've got a precious, finite amount of energy
every day, and I choose to not allow another to
get my goat. I choose to not even let crazy
laws even though it takes a couple of deep breaths
to take me off my center. And I see it
(09:33):
as just ten more pushups, just more spiritual practice, and
we're all being invited into a lot of deep breathing
these days. But we can do it. We can rise,
and we can't do it alone. I don't think we
can do it alone. So thank you for this program,
and thank me for showing up for my community, and
thank everybody who's willing that together together we can get
(09:56):
through it. But alone, go in there and help those
people that are avoid or distancing, because that can be
a very scary place. We're going to take calls with
Alanna next hour. Those of you that are feeling the
lockdown issues, share your stories with us. I feel sorry, Atlana,
I always have for homeless people, but more so now
(10:16):
than ever before. I mean, especially in the LA area.
You see them under bridges, living in cardboard boxes and tents,
and yeah, it's not easy, no, and it's easier for
people to shut their hearts and look the other way.
So thank you for your bravery to feel and face that.
(10:37):
And what can we do about that? What would you
say is the biggest issue with this lockdown today based
on what you've seen, it's the lack of touch, the
lack of connection, the lack of being in another space.
I mean I do all because of masks. Does that
contribute to it? Yeah? I think it does. Like I've
(10:59):
even noticed myself. I'm a happy, connected, you know, vibrant chick.
When my mask is on, I stop making eye contact.
It's weird, even though that's all you can see. I know,
I know, but I've noticed I've I've lessened my degree
because I can't. They can't see me smiling. They can't
see that. I'm like, I like to smile at everybody.
I'm a Canadian. That's what we do. Oh are you are?
(11:21):
We love our Canadian neighbors. I'll tell you that, thank you.
I do too, And I'm noticing because I can't smile,
there's a part of me that feels defeated. So I
just don't even look anymore. So I think even the
masks create distancing between us, and I think that's the
most harmful problem with all of the distancing, and in
(11:43):
order to keep our heart open and stay connected when
we can't be around people, that's that's the trick. Well,
with COVID nineteen, I've learned the masks work to prevent
people who are sneezing from getting you. If you've got
one and they've got one, but I'm not sure just
talking or anything like that is going to really get
(12:05):
anybody infected. I agree, I don't really think they do.
They work terribly well, but they work for the sneezing
because sneezing you can hit somebody from ten feet. This
is true. This is true. Yeah, but it annoys me.
It still annoys me, and I have to deep breathe
for sure. But yeah, the idea that we could use
(12:26):
another technology like zoom, even though it's not the same
as a hug, nothing's the same as a hug. What
I do love about the brain is the brain doesn't
know any different if you tell it, okay, right now,
see it, think it, feel the emotion, and feel the
body sensation, and give yourself that time to imagine. I
know it's not as fun as a real hug, but
(12:48):
even imagining it starts to help the brain to emit
those hormones to help you feel that sense of connection
again in the meantime, before we get to know hug
each other all over again. Listen to more Coast to
Coast AM every weeknight at one a m. Eastern and
go to Coast to Coast am dot com for more
The Best of Coast to Coast AM News
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George Noory
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