The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.

Episodes

Your Goals Aren't Yours—That's Why They Don't Stick (ACT for Lasting Change)

December 31, 2025 • 73 mins
What if your New Year's resolutions keep failing because they were never really yours to begin with? Most goals we set aren't chosen—they're inherited from magazines, social media, parents, or that version of ourselves we think we're supposed to become. That's why they don't stick. In this episode, Tony shares his decades-long "pushup obsession" and how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) finally broke the cycle—not through mor...
Mark as Played

The Family Butterfly Effect: How Your Uncle Ray Changed Everything—And How You Can Change It Back

December 11, 2025 • 64 mins
Every family has an origin story—and it's not always the one told at holidays. In this episode, Tony explores the fascinating concept of the butterfly effect and how it applies to family systems. From a scientist's obsession with Gila monster saliva that led to Ozempic, to a wrong turn that ignited World War I, small moments can create massive ripples. But what happens when the butterfly in your family isn't an event—it's a person...
Mark as Played

Stop Managing Your Partner's Emotions: How One Couple Broke Free From the Anxious-Avoidant Trap

November 21, 2025 • 48 mins
Have you ever found yourself calculating what to say when your partner is upset—choosing words to manage their emotions rather than speaking your truth? In this episode, Tony shares the breakthrough story of a couple navigating financial betrayal and the exhausting cycle of emotional management that kept them stuck. Through Mark and Sarah's journey from reactive patterns to authentic connection, you'll discover the five elem...
Mark as Played

Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them) — Part 2

November 4, 2025 • 72 mins
In Part 2 of Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them), Tony Overbay, LMFT, continues the story of Jack and Jill — a fictional couple built from hundreds of real couples he’s worked with in therapy. But this time, the story shifts. What happens when children grow up with emotional safety, repair, and consistency? What does love look like when it’s modeled, not managed — when connection feels safe instead...
Mark as Played

Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them) pt. 1

October 29, 2025 • 33 mins
What if the way you love — and the way you fight — were both written long before you met your partner? Tony Overbay, LMFT, reveals how your nervous system learned to react to love, conflict, and vulnerability decades before your first date — and how those patterns still show up today. In this episode, Tony introduces Jack and Jill, a fictional couple built from hundreds of real couples he has worked with over 20 years in the...
Mark as Played

Why You're Actually Fighting With Yourself (And Blaming Your Partner)—The Psychology of Projection

October 17, 2025 • 56 mins
Ever wonder why your partner's innocent behavior feels like a personal attack? What if the stories you're telling yourself about their intentions say more about you than about them? In this eye-opening episode, therapist Tony Overbay, LMFT, explores projection—the unconscious habit of attributing our own thoughts, feelings, and motivations to others. Through real stories from his practice, including a couple's argument over a ...
Mark as Played

On the Other Side of the Couch: What I Learned Losing My Mom

September 23, 2025 • 60 mins
What happens when the person who usually has the answers finds himself sitting in the unknown? In this deeply personal episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Tony Overbay shares his raw, honest experience of losing his mother - not as a clinician offering guidance, but as a son navigating grief for the first time. Tony opens with a touching story about his mom's lifelong belief that he was a "real doctor," leading to ...
Mark as Played

Would You Rather Be Liked—or True to Yourself? The High Cost of Integrity in Marriage, Parenting, Faith, and Work

September 16, 2025 • 71 mins
Would you rather be liked—or be true to yourself? It sounds simple, but what happens when staying true to your values could cost you your job, your marriage, your faith community, or your friendships? In today’s episode of The Virtual Couch Presents, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the real difference between character (the traits others see in us) and integrity (the alignment of our actions with our deepest values). T...
Mark as Played

How Can Change Be Funny, Scary, and Uncomfortable… and Still Be Necessary for Growth? (with Mackie Overbay)

September 8, 2025 • 58 mins
Tony and his daughter Mackie (@beautybymackie) catch up on a lot of life. Since the last time they hit record, Mackie has navigated big career shifts, health challenges, and new adventures. Tony has faced major surgery and the loss of his mom (Mackie’s grandmother). Together, they dive into the messy, uncomfortable, and often hilarious realities of change — why our brains resist it, why it feels so daunting in the moment, a...
Mark as Played

Turning Negativity Into Insight: Julie De Jesus on Interviewing Kevin Franke and What the Comments Reveal About Us

August 22, 2025 • 60 mins
Tony sits down with his friend and Love, ADHD co-host, Julie De Jesus, to unpack her recent interview with Kevin Franke, ex-husband of Ruby Franke. Ruby, the former “8 Passengers” YouTuber, pled guilty in late 2023 to multiple counts of aggravated child abuse and, along with her business partner Jodi Hildebrandt, was sentenced in February 2024 to up to 30 years in prison under Utah law. While Tony originally planned to ask J...
Mark as Played

Blinded by Belief: How Your Brain Defends Its Favorite Story - Even When It's Wrong!

August 7, 2025 • 64 mins
Have you ever tried to change someone’s mind—and watched them dig in even deeper? Or wondered why, even when you want to change your own beliefs, it feels like pushing against an invisible force? In this episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, takes you on a journey that starts with a teenage quest for the perfect tan and ends with a powerful realization about how we construct our social realities. After sharing a personal story about undergo...
Mark as Played

Live Q&A with Sydney Overbay: Perception vs. Reality, Emotional Immaturity and Growth, Faith Deconstruction, ADHD & More

July 28, 2025 • 74 mins
What do a therapist dad, his adult daughter, and a live stream full of honest questions have in common? A raw, insightful, and often hilarious live Q&A. In this special live episode, therapist Tony Overbay, LMFT, is joined by his daughter Sydney for a candid conversation that covers everything from emotional immaturity and ADHD to family dynamics, addiction, and navigating a faith crisis. With their signature mix of w...
Mark as Played

The Emotional Immaturity Epidemic with Steph and Craig: Why Adults Are Stuck in Childhood Patterns

July 4, 2025 • 89 mins
What if an entire generation is emotionally stuck in childhood—and doesn't even know it? In this compelling guest appearance on The Steph and Craig Show, Tony dives deep into what he calls "the emotional immaturity epidemic" that's quietly sabotaging relationships everywhere. Discover the hidden patterns that keep adults reacting like children: black-and-white thinking that destroys nuance, magical thinking that avoid...
Mark as Played

Genuine Curiosity: Not All Questions Are Equal – Are You Trying to Understand, Defend, Manipulate, or Control?

June 26, 2025 • 69 mins
Are you truly being curious—or just trying to win the argument? Tony explores the difference between genuine curiosity and performative questions, sharing real-life examples and tools to help you respond with emotional maturity, not reactivity. Learn how curiosity can transform your relationships. 00:00 Introduction and Host Background 01:42 Understanding Performative vs. Genuine Curiosity 02:04 A Personal Story About ...
Mark as Played

Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You by Ethan Kross - Virtual Couch Book Club w/Marla Christiansen, APCC

June 3, 2025 • 23 mins
Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, and Tony Overbay, LMFT, delve into Ethan Kross's "Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You" for another installment of the "Virtual Couch Book Club." They explore emotional awareness, sensory shifts, and cultural influences on emotional well-being. Practical techniques, such as distant self-talk and the Whoop framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan), are covered, offering listeners acti...
Mark as Played

Childhood Survival Skills That Sabotage Your Adult Relationships - Part 2: The Path to Emotional Maturity - The Climb Out

May 27, 2025 • 86 mins
What if the very strategies that saved you as a child are now sabotaging your adult relationships? In Part 2 of Tony's series on emotional immaturity, discover why your most persistent relationship struggles aren't character flaws—they're outdated survival software still running in the background of your life. Through the powerful ACT metaphor of "The Man in the Hole," you'll understand why working harder with familia...
Mark as Played

Trapped by Trauma Bonds: A Guide for Those Suffering and Those Watching from the Outside

May 15, 2025 • 22 mins
Have you ever watched someone you care about repeatedly return to a relationship that's clearly hurting them, despite all logic and reason? Or found yourself unable to break free from a partner who alternates between cruel indifference and intoxicating affection? Tony Overbay, LMFT, comprehensively examines all of the factors at play in hopes of shining a light on understanding and ultimately healing from one of psychology'...
Mark as Played

Pick Me Behaviors, Emotional Immaturity, and the Cost of Not Knowing Yourself: Is True Honesty in Relationships Possible? Tony and Mackie Overbay Live QA

May 6, 2025 • 27 mins
Do you avoid difficult conversations, hoping problems will magically disappear? Do you convince yourself you don’t need to write things down, because of course you’ll remember later? Or maybe you catch yourself trying to be everything to everyone… and slowly losing yourself in the process? Join Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Tony Overbay and his daughter Mackie, a licensed esthetician, and cosmetologist, and host of the po...
Mark as Played

Childhood Survival Skills That Sabotage Your Adult Relationships: The Path to Emotional Maturity

April 25, 2025 • 69 mins
Ever wondered why your brilliant mind can solve complex problems at work but completely breaks down during relationship conflicts? That's because those emotional reactions that feel so instinctive aren't flaws—they're actually genius survival strategies that once kept you safe. In this transformative episode, we explore how black-and-white thinking, mind-reading expectations, and external validation seeking were perfect childhood a...
Mark as Played

Learning to Life Without Training Wheels: Exploring Faith, Identity, and Emotional Maturity

April 3, 2025 • 67 mins
Have you ever found yourself wondering, How can someone possibly believe that? Or maybe you've questioned your own beliefs after bumping up against someone else's certainty? You're not alone. In this episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the complexities of perception, truth, and emotional maturity. He explores how individuals often encounter differing viewpoints—especially in today’s social media-driven world—and how those ex...
Mark as Played

Popular Podcasts

    Dateline NBC

    Dateline NBC

    Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

    Stuff You Should Know

    Stuff You Should Know

    If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

    The Breakfast Club

    The Breakfast Club

    The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!

    Crime Junkie

    Crime Junkie

    Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.

    Two Guys, Five Rings: Matt, Bowen & The Olympics

    Two Guys, Five Rings: Matt, Bowen & The Olympics

    Two Guys (Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers). Five Rings (you know, from the Olympics logo). One essential podcast for the 2026 Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics. Bowen Yang (SNL, Wicked) and Matt Rogers (Palm Royale, No Good Deed) of Las Culturistas are back for a second season of Two Guys, Five Rings, a collaboration with NBC Sports and iHeartRadio. In this 15-episode event, Bowen and Matt discuss the top storylines, obsess over Italian culture, and find out what really goes on in the Olympic Village.

Advertise With Us
Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

Explore

iHeart

Live Radio

Podcasts

Artist Radio

Exclusives

News

Features

Events

Contests

Photos

Information

About

Advertise

Blog

Brand Guidelines

Contest Guidelines

Subscription Offers

Jobs

Get the App

Automotive

Home

Mobile

Wearables

© 2026 iHeartMedia, Inc.