The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.

Episodes

On the Other Side of the Couch: What I Learned Losing My Mom

September 23, 2025 • 60 mins
What happens when the person who usually has the answers finds himself sitting in the unknown? In this deeply personal episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Tony Overbay shares his raw, honest experience of losing his mother - not as a clinician offering guidance, but as a son navigating grief for the first time. Tony opens with a touching story about his mom's lifelong belief that he was a "real doctor," leading to ...
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Would You Rather Be Liked—or True to Yourself? The High Cost of Integrity in Marriage, Parenting, Faith, and Work

September 16, 2025 • 71 mins
Would you rather be liked—or be true to yourself? It sounds simple, but what happens when staying true to your values could cost you your job, your marriage, your faith community, or your friendships? In today’s episode of The Virtual Couch Presents, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the real difference between character (the traits others see in us) and integrity (the alignment of our actions with our deepest values). T...
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How Can Change Be Funny, Scary, and Uncomfortable… and Still Be Necessary for Growth? (with Mackie Overbay)

September 8, 2025 • 58 mins
Tony and his daughter Mackie (@beautybymackie) catch up on a lot of life. Since the last time they hit record, Mackie has navigated big career shifts, health challenges, and new adventures. Tony has faced major surgery and the loss of his mom (Mackie’s grandmother). Together, they dive into the messy, uncomfortable, and often hilarious realities of change — why our brains resist it, why it feels so daunting in the moment, a...
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Turning Negativity Into Insight: Julie De Jesus on Interviewing Kevin Franke and What the Comments Reveal About Us

August 22, 2025 • 60 mins
Tony sits down with his friend and Love, ADHD co-host, Julie De Jesus, to unpack her recent interview with Kevin Franke, ex-husband of Ruby Franke. Ruby, the former “8 Passengers” YouTuber, pled guilty in late 2023 to multiple counts of aggravated child abuse and, along with her business partner Jodi Hildebrandt, was sentenced in February 2024 to up to 30 years in prison under Utah law. While Tony originally planned to ask J...
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Blinded by Belief: How Your Brain Defends Its Favorite Story - Even When It's Wrong!

August 7, 2025 • 64 mins
Have you ever tried to change someone’s mind—and watched them dig in even deeper? Or wondered why, even when you want to change your own beliefs, it feels like pushing against an invisible force? In this episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, takes you on a journey that starts with a teenage quest for the perfect tan and ends with a powerful realization about how we construct our social realities. After sharing a personal story about undergo...
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Live Q&A with Sydney Overbay: Perception vs. Reality, Emotional Immaturity and Growth, Faith Deconstruction, ADHD & More

July 28, 2025 • 74 mins
What do a therapist dad, his adult daughter, and a live stream full of honest questions have in common? A raw, insightful, and often hilarious live Q&A. In this special live episode, therapist Tony Overbay, LMFT, is joined by his daughter Sydney for a candid conversation that covers everything from emotional immaturity and ADHD to family dynamics, addiction, and navigating a faith crisis. With their signature mix of w...
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The Emotional Immaturity Epidemic with Steph and Craig: Why Adults Are Stuck in Childhood Patterns

July 4, 2025 • 89 mins
What if an entire generation is emotionally stuck in childhood—and doesn't even know it? In this compelling guest appearance on The Steph and Craig Show, Tony dives deep into what he calls "the emotional immaturity epidemic" that's quietly sabotaging relationships everywhere. Discover the hidden patterns that keep adults reacting like children: black-and-white thinking that destroys nuance, magical thinking that avoid...
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Genuine Curiosity: Not All Questions Are Equal – Are You Trying to Understand, Defend, Manipulate, or Control?

June 26, 2025 • 69 mins
Are you truly being curious—or just trying to win the argument? Tony explores the difference between genuine curiosity and performative questions, sharing real-life examples and tools to help you respond with emotional maturity, not reactivity. Learn how curiosity can transform your relationships. 00:00 Introduction and Host Background 01:42 Understanding Performative vs. Genuine Curiosity 02:04 A Personal Story About ...
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Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You by Ethan Kross - Virtual Couch Book Club w/Marla Christiansen, APCC

June 3, 2025 • 23 mins
Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, and Tony Overbay, LMFT, delve into Ethan Kross's "Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You" for another installment of the "Virtual Couch Book Club." They explore emotional awareness, sensory shifts, and cultural influences on emotional well-being. Practical techniques, such as distant self-talk and the Whoop framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan), are covered, offering listeners acti...
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Childhood Survival Skills That Sabotage Your Adult Relationships - Part 2: The Path to Emotional Maturity - The Climb Out

May 27, 2025 • 86 mins
What if the very strategies that saved you as a child are now sabotaging your adult relationships? In Part 2 of Tony's series on emotional immaturity, discover why your most persistent relationship struggles aren't character flaws—they're outdated survival software still running in the background of your life. Through the powerful ACT metaphor of "The Man in the Hole," you'll understand why working harder with familia...
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Trapped by Trauma Bonds: A Guide for Those Suffering and Those Watching from the Outside

May 15, 2025 • 22 mins
Have you ever watched someone you care about repeatedly return to a relationship that's clearly hurting them, despite all logic and reason? Or found yourself unable to break free from a partner who alternates between cruel indifference and intoxicating affection? Tony Overbay, LMFT, comprehensively examines all of the factors at play in hopes of shining a light on understanding and ultimately healing from one of psychology'...
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Pick Me Behaviors, Emotional Immaturity, and the Cost of Not Knowing Yourself: Is True Honesty in Relationships Possible? Tony and Mackie Overbay Live QA

May 6, 2025 • 27 mins
Do you avoid difficult conversations, hoping problems will magically disappear? Do you convince yourself you don’t need to write things down, because of course you’ll remember later? Or maybe you catch yourself trying to be everything to everyone… and slowly losing yourself in the process? Join Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Tony Overbay and his daughter Mackie, a licensed esthetician, and cosmetologist, and host of the po...
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Childhood Survival Skills That Sabotage Your Adult Relationships: The Path to Emotional Maturity

April 25, 2025 • 69 mins
Ever wondered why your brilliant mind can solve complex problems at work but completely breaks down during relationship conflicts? That's because those emotional reactions that feel so instinctive aren't flaws—they're actually genius survival strategies that once kept you safe. In this transformative episode, we explore how black-and-white thinking, mind-reading expectations, and external validation seeking were perfect childhood a...
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Learning to Life Without Training Wheels: Exploring Faith, Identity, and Emotional Maturity

April 3, 2025 • 67 mins
Have you ever found yourself wondering, How can someone possibly believe that? Or maybe you've questioned your own beliefs after bumping up against someone else's certainty? You're not alone. In this episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the complexities of perception, truth, and emotional maturity. He explores how individuals often encounter differing viewpoints—especially in today’s social media-driven world—and how those ex...
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Mental Health Unplugged: From Narcissism to Personal Growth - Mackie Joins Tony for a TikTok Live QA

March 18, 2025 • 66 mins
Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, speaker, and podcast host, welcomes viewers to an engaging TikTok Live session. Joined by his daughter Mackie, Tony answers questions on various topics including relationships, mental health, and narcissism. They discuss the concept of the shadow self, the 'Let Them' theory, handling emotional triggers, and the importance of differentiation in relationships. Tony offers advice...
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Universal Lessons from Grief: Ashlee Boyson, Author of One Day - A Child’s Journey Through Grief and Loss

March 12, 2025 • 50 mins
When Ashlee Boyson answered her door at age 28 to find detectives bearing unimaginable news—her husband murdered, an affair revealed—she became a widow with five children including a six-week-old baby. In this powerful episode of the Virtual Couch, Tony Overbay, LMFT, explores how this defining moment led Ashlee to become not just a survivor, but a guide for others navigating grief's complex terrain. Her groundbreaking book "One D...
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Taking the Scenic Route to Connection: Steph and Craig Salazar on How to Heal Individually Together

March 1, 2025 • 52 mins
What happens when two first responders fall in love, face career, life, and faith crises, and embark on a radical journey of healing? How do couples navigate from survival mode to genuine connection after years of chaos and trauma? Tony welcomes Steph and Craig Salazar, the authentic couple behind the popular podcast "The Steph and Craig Show." What begins as a reunion of newfound friends quickly transforms into a profound explo...
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From Fairy Tale to Real Life: A Marriage Therapist's Raw Take on the Journey from "I Do" to "What Now?"

February 20, 2025 • 48 mins
Every couple starts their marriage journey with hearts full of hope and eyes bright with optimism. But what happens when the fairy tale meets reality? In this compelling episode of the Virtual Couch, marriage therapist Tony Overbay takes listeners on an intimate journey through the evolution of marriage, sparked by his observation of a young newlywed couple, Hannah and Cody, during a recent podcast interview. Drawing from ov...
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The Self-Care Paradox: Why Putting Yourself First Isn't Selfish and Is “Healthy Narcissism” a Thing? Live QA w/Tony and Mackie Overbay

February 17, 2025 • 81 mins
What happens when you walk face-first into a wall at the movies? For therapist Tony Overbay, it led to a deep discussion about relationships, self-worth, and the challenges of being true to yourself in a world that often demands conformity. In this engaging episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony is joined by his daughter Mackie for their regular Sunday night Q&A session. After sharing a humorous story about his movie theater mishap ...
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Breaking Social Barriers: Enhancing Confidence with Autism Support - w/Karla Gragg and Sarah Bailey

February 15, 2025 • 45 mins
Tony welcomes sisters Sarah Bailey and Karla Cragg, who share a passion for enhancing the social lives of individuals with autism. They introduce their Breaking Social Barriers PEERS program, an evidence-based social skills training course designed specifically for young adults on the autism spectrum. Their program is based on UCLA’s acclaimed PEERS treatment model, the only research-backed method proven to help young adults with a...
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