Beer Me That Movie

Welcome to Fast Five #43!

Before we jump into the digital beer swamp, we take a look in the rearview mirror to recap last week's triumphant feature film from last week - "All This From a Slice of Gabagool" which is a sequel to Feature #9 "The Hustle Is Weird"

With the tank full, we shift into high gear and dive straight into the live Untappd feed to bring you this week's Fast Five lineup:

Cave: A dark, mythical quest where a desperate...

In a world where a Cleveland sandwich shop is the frontline defense against the underworld, one man must choose between his legacy on the baseball diamond and his shift at the deli. Welcome to the highly anticipated official sequel to The Hustle Is Weird!

Josh is a rising Minor League baseball star who just tied the home run record. He returns home to Mentor, Ohio for the All-Star break, eagerly anticipating a relaxing week filled w...

Welcome to Fast Five #42! Have you ever thought about how bad VHS tracking actually made movies better.

Before we jump into the Untappd trenches, we take a look back at last week's feature film, True Love. After our recap, Jon unearths a deeply traumatic childhood memory: the 90s Lunchables "Ham Shield"

With Harrison's 1954 Coupe Chrysler MeatWagon in full neutral drop, we grind the metal rims down to sparks and jump into this week's...

The robots mapped his brain. They predicted his future. But they forgot one crucial piece of the puzzle: You can’t knock down a man with nothing to lose and a pocket full of room-temperature deli meat.This week on Beer Me That Movie, Jonathan and Harrison are diving headfirst into the wildest, most chaotic Bastille Day premiere of the century: TRUE LOVE.It starts as a high-stakes sci-fi thriller about a surveillance state run...

Before we jump into the Untappd trenches, we take a look back at last week's feature film, It's a Whole Thing. We officially tore the lid off the wellness industry and exposed the dark underbelly of the "Big Bean" legume industrial complex. We also threw in a fun epilogue dusting off Victor Lancaster, revealing whether or not he actually got exploded by the Noble Stomach.

After a quick detour fueled by the pure childhood nostalgia o...

In an alternate 2026 where marriage is outlawed, meat is banned, and society relies entirely on canned beans for protein, what happens when you discover that the internet's biggest wellness trend is actually a toxic global conspiracy?

Meet Kat, a lonely government software engineer who spends her days curating her backyard carrot sanctuary and religiously following the minimalist, dirt-eating lifestyle of mega-influencer Hope "Whole...

Welcome to Fast Five #40! It takes 40 weeks for a human fetus to fully develop, yet here we are, 78 total episodes into Beer Me That Movie, still operating at the mental level of a damp sponge. But as Jon's youth pastor used to say, "it’s better to be damp than dry!"

Before we dive into the Untappd trenches, we take a trip back in time to recap last week's feature film, Freelance. We successfully invented a brand new movie gen...

Logline: A failing hitman on a metric-boosting "Pro-Bono" contract falls for his target and must use his bumbling skills to fight off an AI-driven "Optimizer" assassin before the IRS—or a ninja—kills his vibe.

Imagine your "Uber-for-Assassins" rating is so low you’re essentially the digital equivalent of a lukewarm ham sandwich. To save your SEO (and your life), you have to take a "Pro-Bono" hit on a target who tu...

Ladies, gentlemen, clones, and interdimensional Sexy Nuns—welcome to Fast Five #39! We are back to doing what we do best, even though Harrison STILL owes a dangerous amount of money to bill-collecting apes.

Before we jump into the Untappd feed, we take a look in the rearview mirror at last week's triumphant Feature Film, Baby Ghost. We recap the interdimensional romance between a starving NYC artist and a 127-year-old Ellis Is...

In a world full of terrifying hauntings, demons, and poltergeists, what happens when the spirit in your apartment just wants to see you succeed?

Meet Jim, a struggling, starving artist living in a New York City apartment. He's out of ideas and out of luck, until he realizes his "roommate" is actually a beautiful ghost from the Ellis Island era who tragically died before she could get married. Instead of haunting him, she begins to m...

Mark your calendars, Shed Family, because a modern miracle has occurred: we are recording two weeks in a row without mysteriously vanishing into the ether! The Honda Hatchback is fully gassed up, the mics are hot, and the Cone Goblins haven't eaten our hard drives.

Before we jump into the Untappd trenches, we take a look back at last week's triumphant feature film, Shepherd Warrior. We finally tackled the highly anticipated origin s...

He brought the gospel of peace. She brought a tactical shepherd's crook. Two thousand years ago, under the exact same star in Nazareth, humanity received a savior... and an enforcer.

Meet the unknown half-sister of Jesus.

Born in a pre-paid manger just three blocks down to Joseph's "side piece," she wasn't destined to be a carpenter or a leader of men. While her brother was preaching, she was the "adjudicator of men," acting as a se...

Welcome back to Beer Me That Movie for Fast Five #37... again.

If you're staring at your podcast app feeling a heavy dose of déjà vu, don't worry—we originally recorded this, but the real world attacked us, the feature film was lost to the ether, and we decided to wipe the slate clean and start over. Today, we are back in the Untappd trenches with five brand new beers and five brand new movie pitches.

First, we take a trip bac...

In a world where the only thing tighter than an airplane bathroom is a wrestler's spandex, one man must choose between his legacy and his future.

When washed-up wrestling legend Rhett "The Wrestler" Harrison boards a red-eye flight to Louisville to finally kick "the juice" and reunite with his estranged daughter, he doesn’t expect his plane to be hijacked by the notorious Lagerstani Air Pirates. But when brute force is the onl...

Welcome back to Beer Me That Movie, the podcast that took a five-month hiatus and came back with zero answers and the exact same premise.If you’ve been wondering where we’ve been—fair question. Did we get eaten by a Cone Goblin? Did diabetes finally win? Did we quietly cancel the show like a mediocre Netflix original?In this special "recalibrating" episode, Jon and Harrison sit down in the shed to have an honest c...

This Fast Five was abandoned to life, trauma, and repair... but it lives on the internet so it's still here....

In this week’s Fast Five, we hitch a ride with a former Army Ranger, wake up in a medieval fever dream, and head to space to fight a rock monster that cuddles gravity like a teddy bear. Also: what is the virtue of patience? And how do you escape a fog that may or may not be alive?

Five beers. Five movie pitches. And o...

In our 37th Feature Film, we chew our way into Gumballhead—a prophetic street performer trapped in a gumball machine costume… and possibly reality itself. After one too many candy-coated warnings come true, Gumballhead becomes a viral oracle. But when a chicken conglomerate with ties to defense contracts takes interest in his chewy powers, the bubble starts to stretch.This is the rise, fall, and sticky aftermath of the...

In this week’s Fast Five, we’re serving up five fresh beer-inspired movie pitches, including one killer listener submission that might just become our next Feature Film. From cursed hotel service to ancient kazoo mythology, things get weird fast.

This Week’s Beer-to-Movie Madness:

•Gumballhead – A failed mall vendor discovers he can see the future through his gumball machine helmet… and TikTok loves it...

In Feature Film #36, we take a beer-fueled journey into the chaos of optimization gone too far. Meet Jim: burnout husband, master procrastinator, and reluctant user of a sketchy AI self-improvement app. What starts as calendar syncing and text replies spirals into full-blown identity theft when a synthetic version of Jim starts living his life better than he ever did.

From psychological sabotage missions to a drunken showdown at the...