Football Cliches

Football Cliches

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Episodes

August 24, 2026 59 mins
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Wedding guests with goal-machine names, the rude awakenings/wake-up calls/reality checks of the Premier League opening weekend, how much it would actually cost to "drive Harry Maguire to Saudi Arabia yourself", Lee Dixon’s emerging spot-kick commentary trademark, tenuous Match of the Day identity crises, Dom Ballard's pure Puskas w...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: how referee match audio will pump up the football news machine in 2026/27, Chelsea's youth teams being renamed in an ominously "game's gone" fashion, Gary Weaver settles into the new Championship season, three incredible utterings of John Stones’ name, Eddie Marsan as Harry Redknapp and the meaning of being "Premier League-p...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some textbook Community Shield takeaways, whether Arsenal are the most “Millennium Stadium” Premier League club, how far off Declan Rice is from becoming “Mr Arsenal”, Newcastle's unnecessarily long managerial longlist, an unacceptable League One welcoming, linguistic frustration in the tennis, getting to t...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Goalkeeping mistakes that rhyme with the player who pounces on them, a classic goal-commentating phrase gets some overdue analysis, David Seaman keeps his chuckle rate ticking over at Lord's, pondering the actual purpose of Dusan Vlahovic, Fabrizio Romano drops a bombshell hint over his own future, anticipating the new Amazon Prim...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether Charlie's third child in six years counts as a "quickfire hat-trick", weekend Carabao Cup ties as the domestic curtain-raiser, a manager refuses to answer a non-question, a nuanced language-barrier issue for Middlesbrough’s new goalkeeper, very mundane swap deals, the logical strategy for online football quizzes, ex-...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: The now-annual breakdown of the Premier League alphabetical distribution and how it makes us feel, who we should "fear for" in the Premier League in 2026/27, what tournaments England legends would have incongruously appeared at if they’d played until they were 40, workshopping a chant for Phil Collins’ son at 1860 Munich, Mo...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: European superclubs coming over here and stealing our groundsmen, Henry Winter on Falklands defence budgets, Gianni Infantino the "money-grabbing gargoyle", the inevitable moment for Wenger's Law, a Cliches deep cut buried in an obscure seven-a-side livestream, Sean Dyche’s surprisingly convoluted "top 3 pints", unacceptable penalt...
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A concept impossible to over-romanticise, pinpointing the exact Premier League matchweek to represent its sweet spot, the gentle echoing of Martin Tyler across the potholes of a generic bar strip, charmingly error-strewn handwritten fixture lists, the Irish Bar option, the Moon Under Water of Turkish beach bars showing the Prem, spending £3.50 on a 48-hour-old copy of the Mirror in 2001, Faliraki 5-a-side with Leon Osman, one liste...
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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the coolest way to hold a football, football's ongoing misunderstanding of the "instep", a ubiquitous three-word punditry prefix and having to listen to people describing their Sunday League goals. Meanw...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker, Nick Miller and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: a cultural review of the gruelling watch that was the World Cup final, the merits of Ferran Torres' winning goal, England's absurd third-place playoff glory, Jude Bellingham's niche statistical triumph, Cole Palmer gets on the wrong side of Graeme Souness, one listener's highly unnecessary concept of a s...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of England 1 Argentina 2, finding anything remotely unfamiliar about England's latest major-tournament exit, gauging the enthusiasm levels for the "FIFA Bronze Final", the valuable freshness of a Spain vs Argentina final, anticipating Tom Cruise's contribution to the half-time show, filthy-sounding World Cup demo...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of the montage-resistant grind of England 2 Norway 1, Thomas Tuchel vs Gabriel Clarke, the prospect of Vindaloo as the soundtrack to this year's John Lewis Christmas advert, ITV's Mark Pougatch talks tactics, revisiting England 3 Argentina 2 (2005), Joe Cole’s stance on the pyramids of Egypt, and kit-man tr...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the enjoyable chaos of Argentina vs Egypt, the exact noise Javier Aguirre made to Anthony Gordon, co-commentators with Alan Shearer's voice, a listener's very niche World Cup spreadsheet, the evergreen haplessness of centre-backs in penalty shootouts, the international managerial merry-go-round and the threshold for a "lungbusting...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: an in-depth cultural review of Mexico 2 England 3, the immaculate Golden Boot race, Donald Trump ushering in a truly retro tinpot World Cup moment, *that* BBC News pronunciation of "Socceroos", unsatisfying Microsoft Windows noises during France vs Paraguay, exclusive giant flag logistics info, the American love for Fletch's comme...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and James Maw. On the agenda: the big World Cup flag question, England 2 DR Congo 1 and the Kaniest finish in the history of Harry Kane, the Big Boxpark Backlash, England's unfinished business at the Azteca, Danny Murphy's cat, the most obscure way anyone has ever accidentally found out the result of a game they were trying to avoid the result for, Emile Heskey on broc...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker, James Maw and, eventually, Nick Miller. On the agenda: pathetic TV-channel paranoia clickbait from our beleaguered regional press, goalscorers "on the doorstep", Donald Trump's voice in World Cup co-commentary, Andy Townsend ignoring Martin Tyler’s octogenarian wordplay, The New World Order get hold of some VIP tickets for Canada vs South Africa, one man takes t...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the wider ripples of England 0 Ghana 0, Scotland’s slightly excessive World Cup purgatory, Darren Fletcher lets his hair down on Fox Sports duty, Andy Burnham’s solid football credentials, sacked managers names in Olivia Rodrigo album tracks and more World Cup lineup-poses quizzing. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds da...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Screen Rot's Jake Farrell. On the agenda: the England player least likely to shout "Vamos!" during a game, an emphatic VAR call from a referee during Paraguay vs Turkey, how close the USA are to "they couldn't... coult they?" territory, Martin Keown's collective noun for a goalkeeper's saves, Sam Matterface fails to meet the geographical “from X to Y&rd...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Adam's slapstick attempt to watch England 4-2 Croatia at the pub, the mid-1990s England player recognition skills of French TV, how Cape Verde triggered a social-media threshold, Lee Dixon on Mexican waves, the diminishing number of original ways to write about Lionel Messi, which of the 48 nations least suits being full-named by ...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and James Maw. On the agenda: how the BBC & ITV's tournament has gone so far, Simon Jordan treats a basic World Cup question with the disdain only Simon Jordan could, the genuine majesty of the Azteca Stadium, the very moment this World Cup "burst into life", FIFA's condiment censorship, Brazil get the customary broadcasting greeting and Tom Cru...
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