Football Cliches

Football Cliches

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Episodes

September 1, 2025 53 mins
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Troy Deeney and Joel Ward mangle their punditry clichés, a highly appropriate sound is heard after Brighton score their winner against Man City, the New York Times' crossword shows football no respect, Jack Grealish takes the "great to se him enjoying his football again" crown, mid-game things players have "no right" to do and Keys & Gra...
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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the players' disbelieving reactions to team-mates' wondergoals, goalkeepers who react furiously to Panenkas against them, the anxiety of shooting into an empty goal in a 5-a-side warm-up and a ...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Stockley Park canteen saga rumbles on, inexplicable TV cameos from Sean Dyche, the closest we’ve come to locating the end of Graham Potter’s tether, footballing events that are too big to be “sliding-doors moments”, an incredible deployment of “for my sins”, some glorious proverbial-cotton-wool confusion and Richard Keys chris...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Jon Champions lowers the commentary tone in the Champions League qualifiers, Sky Sports' on-screen butchering of the embryonic Premier League table, a classic football geography error in Sherlock & Co, a sat-nav voiced by a football pundit and the maximum number of footballing "times of asking". Meanwhile, the panel enj...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Match of the Day's non-evolution, the opening-weekend Premier League verdicts on who to fear for/who'll be fine, the concept of “knocking on the door" of the opposition, a low-key early contender for "game’s gone" moment of the season, a finely-poised "watching football on holiday" dilemma, refereeing clampdowns down in Sunday lea...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the nichest world record in football is shattered once again, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's ex-footballer/Strictly contestant spiel, the extinguishing of Celeste’s five-year Sky Sports flame, why Dominic Calvert-Lewin to Leeds just feels so right, throwaway footballspeak in Homer’s Iliad and the Robert Earnshaw of bedwetting. ...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural mini-review of the Community Shield, some glorious crowd-noise from the Championship, the decline of the word "amid" continues, Dean Saunders reboots his campaign against football jargon, Sunderland's transfer strategy goes back to basics and yet another Lionel Messi landmark. Meanwhile, the panel assess Wycombe's new ...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Conor Coady introduces himself as a Wrexham player in customary style, the awkwardness of double-header friendlies, the alphabetical distribution of team names in the top European leagues, some astonishing pedantry on Jimmy Greaves' Wikipedia page, textbook Andy Townsend radio chatter and much more. Sign up for Dreamland, the ...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: more Cliches references in wrestling commentary, Adam suffers a textbook "freak footballer injury" in real life, a cultural review of UK soap operas referencing England’s Euro 2025 glory, the glorious names of the vanquished non-League clubs in the FA Cup extra preliminary round, "the most 2011 transfer of all time", in-demans strikers' ...
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The twentieth installment of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on James Maw, Jack Pitt-Brooke and Dan Kilpatrick from the Athletic's Tottenham podcast The View From The Lane The questions include: Premier League sextuple goalsmen, 32-year-old footballers, incomplete XIs, the moderately well trodden path from Tottenham to Los Angeles, famous football voices dubbed into foreign languages, musical midfield ma...
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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the body language of players who should have had the ball squared to them but their team scored anyway, high-risk extra-curricular goalkeeping activity, unrealistic football skills in films and the lack of ch...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of England 2 Italy 1, Alan Brazil gets his head around the "Barclaysman" concept, the threshold for "weathering an early storm", Florian Wirtz blind-ranking potatoes and Troy Deeney offers some precious insight into being an elite-level player. Meanwhile, the panel discuss when it is appropriate to say a c...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Watford calling their new striker "free-scoring", the statute of limitations on a commentator's curse, adventurous commentators in UEFA Conference League qualifying, Besiktas find the most Besiktas solution to being snubbed by Kyle Walker-Peters, two-cap England internationals in Austro-Bavarian Christmas horror films and a 9/10 e...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: The knowledgeable Wimbledon crowd being too knowledgeable, ex-Tottenham midfield maestros in West African percussion, Adam's addiction to identifying football matches in the background of TV shows, questionable depictions of the football calendar in Danish science fiction novels and much more. Meanwhile, the panel give thei...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England meeting the Euro 2025 "lift-off" criteria, unexpected new players in the transfer-reporting game, Aston Villa marksmen in Basque hip-hop lyrics, an unorthodox analogy for Iran's terror threat to the UK, 90s football injuries you don't hear about, and much more. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés ...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: Commentators vs Fancy Kit Fonts, Joao Pedro (almost) literally repays a chunk of his transfer fee, politicians getting football wrong Pt.1,586, the club most likely to sign the current Free Agent XI, and much more. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and ...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Dave's karaoke with an EFL goal machine's wife, the tennis equivalent of a goal going in off the crossbar, a possible world record for a player’s exaggerated percentage of effort given for their team, Watford's cowardly kit statement, a familiar crowd noise pops up in a 2002 ITV drama and Richard Keys takes on....Wimbledon's Royal...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: The return of an allegedly iconic football TV programme, a never-before-seen method of laying out a starting XI, fears for an England team in a European major-tournament heatwave and the hypothetical situation of a team that wins every single game 1-0. Meanwhile, the panel imagine Wimbledon tennis players as footballers and...
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Celeste refusing to play the Super Sunday theme tune at Glastonbury, the club we really should have predicted would sign a nine-goal striker called Vivaldo, the prospect of substituted players being interviewed live on TV next season, Jhon Duran's curious career path, Conor McNamara's freestyle Club World Cup commentary and school...
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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the injury reports in 5-a-side group chats, players who look like they think throw-ins are beneath them, the horror of watching a game on a TV from an angle of less than 40 degrees and the unsatisfying asteri...
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