Football Cliches
The all-new home of the Football Clichés podcast. Adam Hurrey explores the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés.
Episodes
Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are the "capo" (the one who conducts the Ultras chants with his back to the game), the joy of just kicking a football right up into the air as high as possible, clubs who have a generation-spanning “mentality” attributed...
Mark as Played
Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Adam Lallana squeezing in the phrase "football club" three times in just 6.8 seconds, Gareth Bale declaring himself the last piece of Real Madrid's mid-2010s jigsaw, a former Chelsea captain popping up in The Wire, un-highlights-able sports and a very brief history of England's pre-tournament warm-up games.
Meanwhile, the panel en...
Mark as Played
May 30, 2024 • 60 mins
With the curtain now closed on the domestic season, Football Clichés takes another look at the podcast's very best moments of 2023/24. In the style of the bafflingly beloved Premier League Years, this review features:
A protracted summer transfer saga, the Pure La Liga XI, the finer technicalities of “ghosting in”, the birth of quiz format Happy Hunting Grounds, Gary Neville's unexpected Squid Game cameo, Eddie Howe being Eddie How...
Mark as Played
May 27, 2024 • 52 mins
Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and James Maw for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Eddie Howe's trip to the set of Neighbours, a technical query on the Premier League's save of the season, a stunning Match of the Day coincidence, Gus Poyet's JFK secret revealed and some heavy-metal Keys & Gray.
Meanwhile, the panel decide when a club is truly "established" in the Premier League and whether signing two players from...
Mark as Played
May 23, 2024 • 70 mins
The Football Clichés Quiz returns and this month's opposition for the Clichés crew is Tayo Popoola, Mark G Smith and Stuart Laws who are the brains behind scripted football comedy podcast Dial F for Football.
The colourful questions include a kit-manufacturer mystery, players who somehow never signed for West Ham, ludicrous La Liga nicknames, Steve McManaman's unique units of footballing measurement, musical footballers, Premier Le...
Mark as Played
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: another commentator answering their own rhetorical question, a brand new "good X for a big man" variation, a tuneful Serie A commentary exclamation, a Match of the Day protocol scandal, a superb rendition of a bragging-rights commentary classic and an all-conquering Manchester ice-cream merchant.
Meanwhile, the panel ponder...
Mark as Played
May 15, 2024 • 49 mins
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are the slow-motion facial expression of choice for a missed chance, why players don't take practice swings before dead-ball situations, the cynical optical illusion of double advertising hoardings and the scourge of ...
Mark as Played
May 13, 2024 • 43 mins
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: mangled football chants in sportswear adverts, a textbook crisis-deepener for Manchester United, some re-recorded commentary curiosity, more Football Names in Things and a brief history of last pieces of Premier League jigsaws.
Meanwhile, the panel examine a use of "who else but" for a goalscorer in ice hockey and reassess...
Mark as Played
Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Tom Williams on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: 1930s musical-inspired chants for Premier League right-backs, the mystery player behind a Premier League Player of the Month trophy on eBay, an unlikely after-dinner-speaking football duo, a perfectly-preserved cultural artefact in the men's toilets at Tranmere Rovers, why the EFL needs to fix its promotion-celebration banne...
Mark as Played
Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Erling Haaland confounds football's obsession with the star-rating system, Sky Sports News hunting down Arne Slot, Jamie Carragher on the Toy Story franchise, Peter Crouch misunderstanding rollercoasters and Keys & Gray's new refereeing admin nemesis is revealed.
Meanwhile, the panel enjoy an above-average moment for football anal...
Mark as Played
May 2, 2024 • 68 mins
The pod welcomes Gary Lineker for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Match of the Day host and England legend chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.
Among Gary's selections are his growing curiosity about expected goals, the psychology of penalty shootouts, the death of strikers rounding goalkeepers, a not-so-radical solution for quick free kicks, overindulgent TV slow-motion replays and t...
Mark as Played
April 29, 2024 • 58 mins
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether Arsenal won the north London derby "the hard way", when Sarcastic Pep becomes impossible to separate from Normal Pep, commentators answering their own rhetorical questions, teams "sealing" relegation, more footballspeak at the snooker, a footballer-sounding shampoo innovation and Harry Redknapp opening a local super...
Mark as Played
April 25, 2024 • 68 mins
The Football Clichés Quiz is back once again and this month the Clichés team welcome their latest podcast challengers in the form of the Totally Football Show's Michael Cox, Jay Harris and Sasha Goryunov.
The questions include managers who just know their clubs, Monday Night Football hotbeds, Player of the Month merchants, some more A.I. foreign-language dubbing action, 'bit of both' punditry line-ups and, of course, the Happy Hunt...
Mark as Played
April 22, 2024 • 41 mins
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some commentary highlights from the FA Cup semi-finals, a classic anti-VAR put-down, a surprise trumpet player on a George Michael album, football chat at the snooker once again, Guardian Football Weekly debating glancing headers and Thomas Muller ending the most tenuous footballing drought of all time.
Meanwhile, the panel...
Mark as Played
April 17, 2024 • 42 mins
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' April entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are the hapless but unifying body language of a player who doesn't know where the ball is, a genuinely worrying peripheral astroturf hang-up, the downsides of teams from the same country being drawn together in Europe ...
Mark as Played
April 15, 2024 • 49 mins
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: players forgetting it's a cup game in their post-match interview, notably young referees, Wayne Rooney's childhood Match of the Day dream, Barclays-era referees popping up in The Simpsons and Andy Gray answering his own questions.
Meanwhile, the panel discuss teams "trying to score the perfect goal" and enjoy Matt Le Tissie...
Mark as Played
April 11, 2024 • 62 mins
The pod welcomes commentator Jon Champion for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.
Among Jon's selections are Ally McCoist's sheer enthusiasm for football (and life), the romance of the underdog, overseas fans' fascination with English football, the temptation of recency bias, the grilled shrimp at Minnesota United and the overcomplication of football te...
Mark as Played
April 8, 2024 • 37 mins
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: James Ward-Prowse making the podcast eat its words, some subversive penalty commentary, some harsh words for a 50-yard clearance upfield, some rare footballers called Pete and people talking like Richard Keys in unexpected places.
Meanwhile, the panel bemoan some hasty Panenka-declaring and decide the derby most likely to i...
Mark as Played
April 3, 2024 • 45 mins
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a much-needed abbreviation for the business end of the EFL campaign, some autopilot content with the Brazilian Ronaldo, an audiobook voiceover artist guessing the tune of a football chant, a unique goalscoring verb, Richard Keys on his own Wikipedia page and why there aren't any footballers called "Pete".
Meanwhile, th...
Mark as Played
Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Jude Bellingham staying one step ahead of the England news cycle, a suitably literal analysis of the chant "Is this a library?", whether a very specific type of penalty decision is really in the spirit of the game, Gary Neville on Beyonce, Andy Gray's greatest hits, and Richard Keys’ career advice for Xabi Alonso.
Meanwhile, the p...
Mark as Played
Popular Podcasts
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.
Shootings are not unusual in Belize. Shootings of cops are. When a wealthy woman – part of one of the most powerful families in Belize – is found on a pier late at night, next to a body, it becomes the country’s biggest news story in a generation. New episodes every Monday!
A straightforward look at the day's top news in 20 minutes. Powered by ABC News. Hosted by Brad Mielke.