Trash Talk... with Count Binface

It's been six weeks since our last episode... and what a mess you humans have made.

Myself and the Countess have made a new binling, so there's an election this week and I'm back with a special episode featuring one of the candidates. Before you accuse old Binface of showing bias - Hannah approached us. So fair's fair... if any of the other candidates want to get grilled by Binface get in touch... if you're brave enough.

Yo...

Merry Christmas Earthlings.

Can we first apologise to anyone in Croydon who saw a bright star in the sky last night - before any local wise men (or women!) head to Boots to buy up any stocks of Myrrh - we can clarify that someone just temporarily leant on the cloaking device switch in the Alboreto. You'd think it would happen more frequently - but it hasn't happened for about 2000 of your Earth years.

Anyway - onto our gue...

Welcome to our BBC special episode where we discuss the *********** of a week where the UK's national broadcaster shot itself in the foot, and then in the other foot and then again in the face.

It comes just a week after the most glorious of success stories for the BBC - The Celebrity Traitors. So as well as focussing on the departure of the Director General and Head of News - we have invited an old friend back to talk about tr...

Bet you didn't know the US Government shutdown also applied to Recyclon podcasts did you?

Well despite the fact that we're not being paid for this - we've decided to shop up anyway - partly because we have a great guest to bring you. Have you seen Chris Barker's brilliant year-in-review montages? You can see them all on his website.

He's been doing them for a decade and this year will be his last. So before he hangs up his P...

Greetings Count Binisters.

On the pod this week is the first journalist to EVER interview Count Binface - Sean O'Grady of The Independent. Now Associate Editor at the same paper Sean sits down to once again grill the greatest political mind he's ever encountered*

Don't forget to keep your 'Ask Binface' questions and policy ideas coming in - you can send them to Count Binface on all of the social channels. Except X. Because i...

Welcome to the FIFTIETH episode of Trash Talk with Count Binface.

What a celebration we have put together - including some truly impressive birthday messages from some of the most powerful people on your planet. They are for legal reasons definitely NOT from Donald Trump, Nigel Farage, or Boris Johnson - they have never written a message for our 50th.

We have asked the AI which secretly runs your planet to pick its favourite...

On this week's potentially award-winning episode of Trash Talk with Count Binface is esteemed Earth comedian Richard Herring.

He's made cancer funny, poked fun at fascism and even made a whole show about your funny human male reproductive organ - so what will 45 minutes with Count Binface bring? Well... has the BBC forgotten how to do comedy? What's the obsession with Edinburgh? And does having teachers for parents make it inev...

"It's just not cricket" is a British English idiom meaning something is unfair, dishonest, or goes against the rules of decency or morality

So what makes cricket the benchmark of decency? To find out our guest this week is Daniel Norcross one of the most recognisable voices on Test Match Special - the BBC's flagship cricket programme.

Perhaps not surprisingly this is the longest interview we've done - it turns out a man...

At last - the intergalactic meeting they've all been asking for!

One of Earth's top podcasters Alastair Campbell in conversation with Sigma IX's pre-eminent (and only) podcaster Count Binface.

After months of negotiations the chat tête-à-bin finally took place in Alaska and by the end of their meeting world peace had been restored, democracy was saved and Burnley had won the Champions' League.

No... none of that happened...

This week's guest is Zoologist Jules Howard. He likes wasps, thinks a Silverback Gorilla wouldn't be any worse in power than our recent leaders, and has a zoological theory on why Reform voters exist...

... he really is the natural successor to Sir David Attenborough.

If you haven't hit 'FOLLOW' on this podcast yet then this really is the week to do it because YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS NEXT WEEK'S GUEST.

Enjoy!

Welcome back Count Binisters.

This is the SECOND episode of Project 650 - the mission to interview EVERY sitting MP in the Palace of Westminster. At the current rate of one per year we should have this wrapped up by 2674 which coincidentally is the same year that [REDACTED FOR SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM PROTECTION], which was an extremely unfortunate incident.

If you enjoy this episode here is what you must do immediately after l...

Ever wondered what it would sound like if Count Binface when toe to pedal with Liz Truss. THIS IS THE EPISODE WHERE WE FIND OUT.

It's all thanks to our guest Jan Ravens - a human mockingbird, national treasure and fascinating woman. In this episode she reveals why Theresa May how two voices, explains what humans can do but AI can't and grapples with the question; "Were you sad to see Liz Truss leave office so soon"

Talking o...

This episode is GENIUS.

As ever. But this time it's also ABOUT genius - the subject of a new book by this week's guest the brilliant journalist, author and podcaster Helen Lewis.

How do we define genius, are we devaluing its use and do you have to be a troubled prick to be one?

All the answers and more are in the podcast - and also in Helen's book which you can find here

Her series on Radio 4 called 'Strong Message H...

On the Best Podcast in the Galaxy* this week is none other than the comic and dramatic genius Mark Gatiss.

Mark chats about politics, children's TV, comedy, and that time he played Peter Mandelson. Plus he reveals why he won't be accepting an honor from the King any time soon.

He's a true multi-hyphenate; an actor, comedian, screenwriter, director, producer and novelist, whose latest project Bookish is out this month and yo...

It's back!

Series TWO of Trash Talk returns after a few months off... much like a Birmingham bin collection.

There are some HUGE names lined up for this new series - as Count Binface continues his quest to interview some fascinating humans in his quest to learn about humans... so he can conquer Earth.

Today it's best-selling author Sir Ian Rankin. Ian is our first Knight of the Realm on the podcast - so please show him s...

What do Donald Trump and Postman Pat have in common? Well Pat has grabbed Jess the cat a few times and Donald... well we won't finish that.

What they REALLY have in common is they're both performed excellently by our guest - impressionist Lewis MacLeod. British listeners may know Lewis from his work on the BBC comedy Dead Ringers where he plays the voice of not just Donald Trump but also Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage. Imagine ...

Are long-form news interviews dead? Not on my watch!

Who better to feature on our first long interview than an esteemed journalist who has held world leaders to account and fronted the UK's premier investigative journalism programme (at the time!). He certainly knows a thing or two about an interview.

In our chat we cover the state of news, what next for the BBC, who the f**k is watching GB News and I appoint Gavin to seat ...

Count's Log

Stardate 78630.8

Wednesday morning - infiltrate Parliament. Find way into PMQs and discover something shocking the gentlemen's toilets.

Thursday morning - Record cracking interview with broadcasting legend Charles Nove. Decide to wait until after Kier meets Donald in case there's anything noteworthy.

Friday morning - Record the opening to the podcast and send to the human production team.

Friday afternoon - Instru...

On this week's podcast is political commentator and co-host of The Trawl podcast Jemma Forte. Jemma recently worked with the political campaigners Led By Donkeys to take down Elon Musk on the side of one of his Tesla factories... that kind of heroism will definitely get you a spot on Trash Talk!

Mind you Jemma's also been the captain of her own space ship The Sub Zero... but you'll have to listen to the podcast if you want that...