The Allusionist

You know what's an absolutely pesky kind of word to define in a dictionary? Colour names. A passel of lexicographers spent years - decades, even - trying different ways to describe colours in words for Webster's Third International Dictionary. It was such a huge, complicated effort that it took twelve years for former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper to write a book about it.

Content note: this episode contains a ...

Pack your oxygen tank, we're going to space. There’s a lot of etymology up there.

Visit theallusionist.org/cosmic-hairball for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript of the episode.

The singing and score is by Martin Austwick. Download his own songs that aren't about space milk at palebirdmusic.com and on Bandcamp.

The show is taking a little break, and will return early April 2026. To keep i...

It's the annual parade of Bonus Bits! Every year, the show's guests say too many interesting things and/or stuff that isn't languagey enough, so I save it up and release it in a delightful melange of facts and thoughts, about language and also not about language. That melange is today, and it includes dinosaur mouths and dinosaur poop, psychedelic plants, feminist cookbooks, and taking a class in profanity.

You hear, in ord...

Today, we read the novelisation of The Muppet Christmas Carol, also known as the 1843 festive lit hit A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Read by me, Helen Zaltzman; music, sound effects and additional vocals are by Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com.

Content warning: 200-year-old attitudes towards disability. Also warning for GHOSTS.

Scroll way down your podfeed or go to theallusionist.org/dickens-christmas to listen to...

"I have never felt so naked. That's how exposed I felt at the idea that my handwriting was going to be seen by the world," says Tim Brookes, founder of the Endangered Alphabets Project and author of the new book about handwriting By Hand: Can the Art of Writing Be Saved? Writing the book (yes, by hand!) celebrates the act of handwriting, even overcoming the shame arising from his own.

Visit theallusionist.org/scribe for mor...

“The more we look into social structures, the more many of us realize we don't fit into them," says So Mayer, author of the new book Bad Language, "So each phrase or set of vocabulary is another piece of that dismantlement.” We discuss finding vocabulary for oneself, coming out as a speech act, growing up under Section 28, busting through oppression and shame, and joyous listening.

Content note: in the episode we refer to s...

A change of scene for one episode: recently the brilliant poet and performer Molly Naylor interviewed me for her podcast Making Trouble, about creativity, and she kindly let me run a version of that episode here for you. We're talking about ideas, but also long-term creative careers, mortality, podcasting, external validation, and Molly offers some great prompts for either sparking ideas or making a dinner conversation a b...

It's Banned Books Week. Honorary youth chair Iris Mogul and Sam Helmick, president of the American Library Association, talk about what it is, why it matters so much, and how you can get involved.

Visit theallusionist.org/bannedbooks for more information and many links about today's topics, plus a transcript of the episode.

Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, y...

In their heyday of the 1970s and 1980s, there were more than 200 - possibly more than 400 - feminist restaurants and coffee shops in the USA and Canada. These places were aiming to change ways of working, and upend the hierarchies of restaurants; to provide food that was ethically sourced and affordable to customers, while providing staff with a decent wage; to signal to particular kinds of people that a space was specific...

Watching the film Legally Blonde one day with the subtitles on, numerous perfectly innocuous words were partially asterisked out, because of a technological problem I can't name here lest this episode be blocked from your podfeed, thus becoming an example of the problem itself.

Who's to blame? A 900-year-old man from Lincolnshire. Although he didn't ask for this either.

Content note: this episode contains SWEARS. Educational...

Listener Erica commented: "Perhaps an idea for a bonus ep of Four Letter Word season would be one on two-letter words: there’s an established list that Scrabble nerds end up memorizing, and it’s full of weirdness." In fact, there are TWO established lists, NASPA, the North American Scrabble Players Association, which has currently 107 two-letter words, and Collins Scrabble Words, formerly known as SOWPODS, used by the rest...

For today’s instalment of Four Letter Word season, we’re hopping from ‘bane’ to ‘bain’ to ‘bath’, via poison gardens, doll’s eyes, alchemists, placentas and waterborne curses.

Visit theallusionist.org/bane for more information about today's topics, plus a transcript of the episode.

Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, you also get behind-the-scenes info about ev...

The latest four letter word of Four Letter Word season is dino. 'Dinosaur' is derived from Greek 'terrible lizard', and they could have called it 'whopping great lizard' or 'sublime lizard' or 'hey cool lizard', but no. TERRIBLE. Professor Hannah McGregor of Material Girls podcast and author of the book Clever Girl: Jurassic Park explains humans' relationship with language for dinosaurs, and why 'terrible' might be a perfe...

Get in, winner: we're going on a field trip. We're spending the day in five of Vancouver's city parks with Justin McElroy, Municipal Affairs Reporter for the CBC and ranker of Vancouver's 243 parks at VancouverParkGuide.ca. Together we ponder: what IS a park? You think you know, then along comes a slab of concrete called a park to test your taxonomy.

Visit theallusionist.org/park for photos of the parks and more information...

The other day was the 53rd anniversary of the break-in at the Watergate Hotel, which not only caused a lot of political uproar, it had a big linguistic legacy: the suffix -gate to mean a scandal. Today, as part of Four Letter Word season, we have a list of -gates - royal, sporting, political, food, showbiz - it's a non-exhaustive list because there are so many, and new ones are being spawned all the time. Content warning f...

Four Letter Word season continues with a quiz (which is a four-letter word itself) about four letter words. Test your etymological knowledge, and hear about the original nepo baby, John Venn's invention that wasn't the venn diagram, brat, gunk, rube, the time(s) Led Zeppelin changed their name, and plenty more.

Play along while you listen - there's an interactive scoresheet at theallusionist.org/444, where there's also a tr...

Ten years ago, on the fourth episode of the show, I investigated why the C-word is considered a worse swear than the others. Since then - well really just in the last three years or so - there has been a huge development: the word has hit the mainstream as a compliment, in the forms of serving it and -y. Linguists Nicole Holliday and Kelly Elizabeth Wright discuss this use of the word originating in the ballroom culture of...

Welcome to Four Letter Word season!

We're kicking off with one of the most versatile words: it can be a noun, verb, punctuation, expostulation, full sentence on its own; it can be an intensifier, an insult and a compliment... and a Category A swear, which is why I've had to sanitise it for the title lest your pod app takes exception. And of course, content note: this episode contains many category A swears, plus some sexual...

Happy tenth birthday to this show! To celebrate, here's every randomly selected word from the dictionary from the first decade of the show. 

Visit theallusionist.org/randomlyselectedwords to read the transcript and get other Tranquillusionist episodes.

The podcast is taking a break until early May 2025, but the Allusioverse will continue to be in full swing: become a member at theallusionist.org/donate. You get regular liv...