SEO F**king What - Get Found on Google and make money from your website with practical SEO tips
This podcast exists because you deserve better than the SEO bollocks currently being sold to you. Every week, I'll give you 10-15 minutes of straight talk about SEO. Practical advice that actually works for B2B websites trying to get found on Google/search and make money. The kind of stuff that's been proven over years, not dreamed up last Tuesday by some LinkedIn tosspot. Real SEO from someone who's been doing this since dial-up was considered fast. I'll tell you what works, what's complete nonsense, and which tactics will get your website buried faster than you can say "guaranteed first page rankings." I'm calling out the bullshitters. The agencies promising the world and delivering fuck all. The LinkedIn gooroos flogging courses about things that don't actually exist. The AI SEO "hacks" destroying perfectly good websites. The expensive tools you don't need. The "experts" who learned SEO from a YouTube video three months ago. If someone's talking bollocks about SEO, you'll hear about it here. More importantly, I'm telling you what to do instead. Every rant comes with actual, practical steps you can take. Real actions that get results, not theory that sounds clever but does bugger all for your rankings. "Do this, then do that, and you'll see movement." That's it. That's the format. You're running a B2B business or managing a B2B website. You've probably been burned by an SEO agency before. Maybe they took your money and delivered a fancy report full of words that meant absolutely nothing. Or they promised first page rankings and disappeared after six months of bugger all results. You're sick of reading blog posts that say nothing in 2000 words. You're tired of SEO "tips" that are either blindingly obvious or completely bizarre. You want someone to cut through the crap and tell you what actually matters for your business, not what works for some massive ecommerce site with a budget the size of a small country. You don't need a PhD in technical SEO. You need to know what's worth your time and what's complete bollocks. You need to know which tactics will actually bring in leads and which ones are just expensive ways to make yourself feel busy. That's what I'm here for. This isn't some sanitised, corporate-approved SEO podcast where everyone's lovely and we pretend all tactics are equally valid. They're not. Some are brilliant. Most are pointless. And some will actively fuck up your website while the "expert" who recommended them is off selling the same dodgy advice to the next poor sod. I swear. A lot. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other podcasts out there with hosts who never offend anyone. Go find them. They're very nice. They're also very boring. This also isn't a podcast that assumes you're stupid. You're not. You're just busy running a business and don't have time to decode the latest algorithm update or work out which SEO tactic is legitimate and which one's complete fantasy. Fifteen minutes. One topic. I'll tell you what's pissing me off this week in the SEO industry, why it matters to your website, and what you should actually do about it. Then I'm done. You can get back to running your business. New episodes drop weekly, because the SEO industry creates fresh bullshit faster than I can rant about it. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next time some gooroo invents a new problem to sell you the solution to. Welcome to SEO F**king What? Let's fix your website.
Episodes
You've got a signed SEO contract you've never read, and somewhere in it is the reason you can't leave. Let's go and find it.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm going through the document, not the sales pitch. I've already done an episode on the red flags to spot before you hire an SEO agency. This one's for everyone who already has, and signed a contract ...
Somebody is going to tell you your competitor is attacking your SEO, and then offer to protect you for a monthly fee. That's the con. But there are real attacks, and they're not the ones being sold to you.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm taking apart negative SEO: the idea that someone else can deliberately damage your rankings. It's one of the most ef...
Your traffic's down, you're about to have a furious phone call with your SEO, and there's a decent chance the drop has got nothing to do with them. Twenty minutes and you'll know which it is.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm walking you through exactly what to do when your traffic drops, before you pick up the phone to anyone. Because a lot of th...
Some of the SEO tactics being sold to you right now were killed off before the person selling them was even old enough to drive. Welcome to the graveyard.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm digging up the corpses. I've been doing this for over 30 years, which means I was there when half these tactics were brand new and worked beautifully. I watched...
Every week there’s a fresh piece of SEO panic tell-off warning you that you’ll disappear from Google unless you pay for a fix. They make new nonsense faster than I can record episodes, and keeping up with it isn't your job—running your business is. So let’s fix that!
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m not just debunking...
Every SEO on LinkedIn is banging on about E-E-A-T. Almost none of them can tell you what it actually means. So let’s fix that.
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m taking apart two things you’ve been told matter enormously by people who, if you push them, probably couldn’t tell you where either one came from. E-E-A-T and helpfu...
Reddit's share of ChatGPT citations went from nearly 4% to half a percent in about a week. Nobody can fully explain it — not the people who measure it, not Reddit, and definitely not the bloke who sold you a Reddit visibility package back in March. And if that was your strategy, you haven't got one anymore.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm ...
Go and look at your case studies page or your portfolio page. Does the title just say "case studies" or "portfolio"? So does everyone else's. That's the problem.
I'm Nikki Pilkington and I've been doing SEO for 30 years. In this episode I'm going after the most wasted pages on your entire website — your case studies, your portfolio and your testimonials. Beautiful work, real proof of competence, and page titles that could belo...
You know that email you send after a job — the one that says "leave us a Google review and get 10% off"? In this country, that might now be illegal. Not "Google's a bit annoyed with you" illegal. Actually illegal, with a fine on the end of it.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm talking about the thing the SEO industry has completely missed. Everyone...
Every month, roughly 970 agencies turn the same three news stories into a LinkedIn post saying "this changes everything, book a call". It almost never changes anything. So here's the news, and here's what it actually means for you.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm trying something new — a monthly news roundup. Three stories: what happened, ...
The business coach told you to stop giving your knowledge away for free. That advice is keeping your website invisible, and I'm about to explain exactly how.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm coming for the business coaches — specifically the ones telling you that publishing your best stuff for free trains people to do it themselves and cost...
I'm going to say something that's going to piss off anyone currently building their entire SEO career on AI prompts: if you've never done the boring stuff manually, you can't tell when the AI is lying to you. There. I said it.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm talking about the thing that's actually keeping me up at night — not a Google upda...
That free SEO audit is not free. It's a sales pitch with a spreadsheet on top. It took them 20 minutes, and it's about to cost you a whole lot more. There. I said it.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm pulling apart one of the sneakiest tricks in the industry — the "free SEO audit" that lands in your inbox looking like a favour and is actuall...
You've spent hours optimising your website for phrases that literally nobody types into Google. And I can prove it. There. I said it.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm tackling the single most expensive assumption you're making about your own business: that you know what your customers search for. You almost certainly don't — and that gap be...
You're paying for SEO and not getting the results you want. Before you sack your SEO — ask yourself: are you the problem?
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington and in this episode of SEO Fucking What podcast I'm flipping the usual script. Instead of calling out dodgy agencies and cowboy SEOs, I'm looking at the other side of the relationship: the client. Because sometimes good SEO work goes completely to waste, and it's got nothing to do w...
SEO has been declared dead at least fifteen times since 1995. Fifteen. And it's still here.
In this episode I'm going back to the very beginning - 1993, 670 websites, celebrity names stuffed into meta keywords by people who genuinely believed all traffic is good traffic, the whole sorry mess - and walking you through every major "SEO is dead" moment in history, who caused it, who got destroyed by it, and what actually survived.
Becau...
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of “SEO F**king What” I focus on the harsh reality many business owners face: pouring hours into writing blog posts only to see:
- No results
- No traffic
- No engagement
A talk about solid SEO foundations, not just good writing, to ensure blog content gets found and drives results. Some common mistakes include; clever but un...
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of “SEO F**king What” (the third and final part of the AI Website series) I pull back the curtain on why so many AI-built websites may look perfect on the surface yet fail spectacularly when it comes to SEO.
Drawing on 30 years of search experience and a recent audit of five B2B AI-generated sites, I explore the hidden problems l...
“Dave has half a story, no context, and excellent confidence. That’s what makes him dangerous.”
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of “SEO F**king What”, I’m talking about one of the most common and most exhausting problems in SEO — and it’s not algorithm updates, and it’s not technical debt. It&rs...
"She didn't need a content strategy document. She needed to read her inbox."
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm tackling one of the most common content problems I see — businesses that are constantly stuck on what to write next, when the answers have been sitting in their inbox, their reviews, and their sales call notes for years.
Here's what I'm cov...
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