SEO F**king What - Get Found on Google and make money from your website with practical SEO tips
This podcast exists because you deserve better than the SEO bollocks currently being sold to you. Every week, I'll give you 10-15 minutes of straight talk about SEO. Practical advice that actually works for B2B websites trying to get found on Google/search and make money. The kind of stuff that's been proven over years, not dreamed up last Tuesday by some LinkedIn tosspot. Real SEO from someone who's been doing this since dial-up was considered fast. I'll tell you what works, what's complete nonsense, and which tactics will get your website buried faster than you can say "guaranteed first page rankings." I'm calling out the bullshitters. The agencies promising the world and delivering fuck all. The LinkedIn gooroos flogging courses about things that don't actually exist. The AI SEO "hacks" destroying perfectly good websites. The expensive tools you don't need. The "experts" who learned SEO from a YouTube video three months ago. If someone's talking bollocks about SEO, you'll hear about it here. More importantly, I'm telling you what to do instead. Every rant comes with actual, practical steps you can take. Real actions that get results, not theory that sounds clever but does bugger all for your rankings. "Do this, then do that, and you'll see movement." That's it. That's the format. You're running a B2B business or managing a B2B website. You've probably been burned by an SEO agency before. Maybe they took your money and delivered a fancy report full of words that meant absolutely nothing. Or they promised first page rankings and disappeared after six months of bugger all results. You're sick of reading blog posts that say nothing in 2000 words. You're tired of SEO "tips" that are either blindingly obvious or completely bizarre. You want someone to cut through the crap and tell you what actually matters for your business, not what works for some massive ecommerce site with a budget the size of a small country. You don't need a PhD in technical SEO. You need to know what's worth your time and what's complete bollocks. You need to know which tactics will actually bring in leads and which ones are just expensive ways to make yourself feel busy. That's what I'm here for. This isn't some sanitised, corporate-approved SEO podcast where everyone's lovely and we pretend all tactics are equally valid. They're not. Some are brilliant. Most are pointless. And some will actively fuck up your website while the "expert" who recommended them is off selling the same dodgy advice to the next poor sod. I swear. A lot. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other podcasts out there with hosts who never offend anyone. Go find them. They're very nice. They're also very boring. This also isn't a podcast that assumes you're stupid. You're not. You're just busy running a business and don't have time to decode the latest algorithm update or work out which SEO tactic is legitimate and which one's complete fantasy. Fifteen minutes. One topic. I'll tell you what's pissing me off this week in the SEO industry, why it matters to your website, and what you should actually do about it. Then I'm done. You can get back to running your business. New episodes drop weekly, because the SEO industry creates fresh bullshit faster than I can rant about it. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next time some gooroo invents a new problem to sell you the solution to. Welcome to SEO F**king What? Let's fix your website.
Episodes
"Someone sitting in your LinkedIn DMs right now is offering you backlinks for 99. Someone else wants to charge you five a month for a robust link building campaign. And I'm here to tell you that for most small B2B service websites, both of them can fuck right off."
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of “SEO F**king What”, I'm calling out one of the most exp...
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm talking about the one bit of SEO that isn't a ranking factor but is absolutely the thing that decides whether anyone actually clicks on your listing — your meta descriptions. You've probably never written one, duplicated the same one across your whole site, or let Yoast bully you into stuffing it with keywords. All thre...
Your homepage H1 says “Welcome.” Your meta title says “Home.” And you’re wondering why Google won’t rank you. In this episode, Nikki Pilkington explains why H1s and meta titles are two different jobs, why making them identical is a missed opportunity, and why making them disconnected is actively killing your SEO.
You’ll learn how to think of your meta title as the promise and your H1 as the delivery, why “Helping your people thrive”...
This week I've gone off script. Someone posted about an SEO conference billing itself as the UK's most advanced -- sixteen speakers, all male, not one woman on the bill. I said something about it. The response was, essentially, "we had women last year." And here we are.
This episode isn't about quotas or ticking boxes. It's about the fact that brilliant women in SEO exist, they're not hiding, and if your speaker lineup is sixteen ma...
Your website could be full of brilliant content and still not rank. Why? Because Google can't figure out how your pages connect. That's what we're fixing today.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm tackling one of the most overlooked parts of SEO — website structure. Not the sexy stuff. The stuff that actually makes your site work. How your pages connect, h...
When did you last actually read every page of your website? Not edit it, not skim it — read it like a visitor would. If the answer is “I can’t remember” or “never” — this episode is for you.
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of “SEO F**king What”, I’m walking you through one of the most unglamorous but genuinely useful things you can do for your SEO — a content audit. Not to make ...
I'm going to say something that's going to upset a lot of people who've been bragging about their rankings: being number one for a single word is fucking useless. There. I said it.
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm calling out one of the most persistent and damaging myths in SEO — that keywords are either dead entirely, or that you should be obsessing ov...
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m talking about: the three free tools you need set up before any of the rest of it makes any sense. Because I cannot tell you how many times I've sat down with a business owner for an SEO one-to-one, asked them to share their Google Search Console, and found out they haven't logged in for 18 months. That's like having a s...
I got sent an AI search optimisation audit that cost a business thousands of pounds. It was beautifully presented, full of charts and graphs, and packed with confident recommendations about AI citations and ChatGPT visibility.
It also missed a whole BUNCH of stuff.
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m talking about: an audit that recommended deleting pages t...
I'm sick of business owners coming to me convinced their competitors have some secret SEO strategy. They don't. You're just making it ridiculously easy for them to beat you by ignoring the fundamentals on your own website.
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m talking about:
- The 7 m...
Most businesses aren’t bad at blogging because they’re lazy.
They’re bad at blogging because no one ever told them what blogs are actually for.
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m talking about one of the biggest SEO mistakes I see every single week.
Business blogs that read like diaries, newsletters, or internal updates… and then the owner wonders why Googl...
Most businesses aren’t confused about SEO because it’s complicated.
They’re confused because the industry keeps inventing new acronyms and pretending the rules have changed.
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m talking about... well let's be honest... I'm having a bit of a rant. And it's a rant that you need to hear if you've fallen into the same trap I've s...
Most businesses don’t lose their traffic because SEO “stopped working”.
They lose it because someone redesigned the website and didn’t know what they were doing.
Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m talking about website migrations, redesigns, domain changes, and how businesses accidentally torch years of SEO in a single launch.
This is the episode your contr...
Most small business owners don’t fail at SEO.
They get confused, overwhelmed, or quietly ripped off.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, which is part two of a two parter, I’m letting you know what a good SEO person looks like in terms of their offers.
What SEO really costs in the UK, how long it takes to work, and how to spot legitimate professionals from cowboys...
Ever been quoted some ridiculous SEO retainer and thought… hang on, what the f**k am I actually paying for? Yeah. Same as lots of my clients. And honestly, I’m tired of watching small businesses get fleeced by agencies who talk a big game but can’t explain a single thing they’re doing.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, I’m breaking down the biggest red flags i...
I’ve lost count of the businesses that hire an SEO expert, pay good money, and then make it impossible for us to actually do the job.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, I’m calling out the ridiculousness I sometimes see when a business hires an SEO. Not you. You wouldn't do any of this, I'm sure. But we'll explore some of the absolute sh*ttery that can go down...
In this episode I’m taking on one of the most annoying lies in the SEO world. You’ve probably heard it. “SEO isn’t really for businesses your size.” Yeah. That's total bullshit.
Someone asked me about it on LinkedIn and honestly, I could feel my blood pressure rising.
So I’m breaking down why small businesses keep getting fobbed off by big agencies and why it has nothing to do with SEO… and everything to do with profit.
I talk throug...
Ever handed over a chunk of cash to your web designer for “SEO” and ended up with nothing but a plugin and a lot of empty promises?
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, I’m pulling back the curtain on what really happens when web designers say they do SEO—and how you can tell if you’ve been stitched up.
I’ll walk you through the fixes and explain why most web des...
Fed up with watching charlatans and self-proclaimed “AI SEO gurus” rake in cash and followers by selling absolute bollocks? Yeah, me too.
This is SEO Fu*king What. I'm Nikki, and I help business owners like you to get found in search and make money from your website
In this no-bullshit episode, I’m explaining:
- Why the “SEO is dead” crowd keeps shouting the loudest
- The real reason AI content farms never win long-term
- How to spot the...
LinkedIn told you to sack your SEO tools and just use ChatGPT. Cute.
This is SEO Fu*king What. I'm Nikki, and I help business owners like you to get found in search and make money from your website
In this episode, I break down the three biggest ChatGPT SEO myths — fake volumes, fantasy Keyword Density (KD), and imaginary competitor analysis. I also give you a budget-savvy playbook that actually works: using GSC, manual SERPs and f...
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