F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast

Niall is on vacation this week, so we're digging into the Patreon vaults to treat you to a little movie review of the unhinged teen romance movie My Fault.

There are a few exceptions to the rule and one of them is always if it's A Walk to Remember situation.  Topics include contractually obligated angry sex, impatient partner, never split the party, when do you know.

Lock and load has never been a more gross turn of phrase.  Topics include the clean vs dirty debate, if he wanted to: he would, recording your dates for AI approval, a ghost tale as old as time.

Unfortunately, Dr. Goon is all booked up for appointments for the next month.  I can refer you to another Penis MD, if you'd like.  Topics include date ideas for the broken armed, refusing to sleep in a sex stained bed, did you sleep with Dead Greg, and turning physical attraction into love.

This week we go off script and give you dating advice based on the grim things we've seen as bartenders and servers.

RPG!!!!

If you saw me outside your home staring into your windows from the street... no, you didn't.  Topics include a drive-by creeping, an exciting new masturbation technique, channeling your inner Moody, and pity sex.

If you're concerned about Dain's energy in this episode, just remember he's shirtless.  That should explain everything.  Topics include using Snapchat as a cold-call dating app, the mystery behind two hour sessions, info dumped on the Tea app, and being a starfish.

I think we can all agree that we've ALL wanted to see our friend's penis before... right?  Right?  Topics include your friend is undergoing a slutification,  constructing the perfect text to ask him out, drunken genital requests, dating when you're a trainwreck.

Everyone knows that oppressive government regimes are huge fans of the local music scene.  Topics include caught with a a less than true Instagram story, asking someone out who isn't responding, can you just live your life without cold approaching.

If anyone needs a dog to rent for their Tinder photoshoot, please contact me.  I have a wide range of available makes and models.  Topics include staging a doggy photoshoot, taking pictures as a man, when sexy banter turns into a linguistic car crash, I love you too soon.

If you ever needed a brainstorming session as to what the worst type of bag a vagina could be, we've got you covered.  Topics include some much needed positivity, painful hickeys, dating misconceptions.

Well, wrap me up in a carpet and throw away my hundreds of snakes because I refuse to believe any woman doesn't want a vagina full of magic ribbon.  Topics include how to make your relationship disappear, the wandering eye that is actually pretty stationary, skipping lay day on first dates, and a Tinder profile 2000 swipes in the making.

Buckle up for Hetero Awesomefest 2, the second lamest musical event of the summer!  Topics include an untrustworthy retelling of Chris Brown's crimes, an ass maneuver, catching the bouquet just to drop the mildest joke. Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

We celebrate pride with two of our favourite people live at the Black Sheep!  Trevor Campbell and Tim Lagman join us for a night of advice and laughs.

Listen to Trevor on Queerial! Listen to Tim on Sex Ed with Tim!

Catch this episode before it disappears like the Declaration of Independence or whatever they're to steal in Now You See Me 3D.  Topics include tearing and texting, bringing up the snip, altar to an asshole, treat your dick pics like food bloggers.

Remember when we were all stuck at home and were so horny that all of our dicks got injured?  Topics include permanent jewelry is ultimate betrayal, the unending erection, not trying to get laid on a first date, and hole preference.

Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I swear the splatter of suspicious liquids all over my walls, floors and ceilings are just from my cat's medicine!  Topics include the sweetest dirty talk, deepthroat inadequacies, disclosing your circumcision status, mandatory eye contact.  

Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

When I'm reaching the expiry of my cum-clock, I like to play The Final Countdown as loud as possible to really drive the point home.  Topics include sexual performance under scrutiny in front of family, voyeur baiting, co-worker rejection, the loneliness epidemic. Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies