STAB! Cuts

STAB! Cuts

It's like the STAB! Podcast, except small and easier to swallow. It's STAB! Cuts! STAB! brings together writers, stand ups and other regional gems to partake in a darkly intelligent live comedy panel show. Described as "Incisive wit that cuts to the bone." by the Sacramento News & Review, STAB's! off-beat format allows panelists 24 to 48 hours to create their own unique takes on various random prompts. Ranging from the online dating profile of The Virgin Mary to the tourism guide of Super Mario Brothers Level 1-1, STAB! is a celebration of all things everything; it's like a jazz funeral for the collective conscience. Find us on iTunes, Stitcher, SoundCloud and YouTube.

Episodes

Nick Pettigrew - Frank's Franks Steamer

April 15, 2022 • 1 min
"Reorganization" is a popular prompt often appearing in a typical episode of the comedy podcast program: STAB! In it comedians are given an existing acronym, asked to re-imagine it and share with the audience what it now stand for, and who it represent. Fancy some fully funny frank frivolity? Nick Pettigrew's got you covered in this mouth full of a reimagining of the acronym FFS. Open wide frankophiles! Listen to more episodes H...
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Molly Doan - A Lifted 2020 Super Duty Ford F-350 Platinum Everest Edition

April 8, 2022 • 2 mins
"Dating Profiles of the Fictional and or Non-Fictional" pretty much says it all. Our comics are asked to create online dating profiles for anything from celebrities to inanimate objects. Big trucks have big needs! And if you're gonna try to get under the hood of THIS Lifted 2020 Super Duty Ford F-350 Platinum Everest Edition, Molly Doan needs you to know that you'd better be ready to crush some manifold! Listen to more episodes H...
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Eric Barger - IANALB

January 25, 2022 • 5 mins
"Reorganization" is a popular prompt often appearing in a typical episode of the comedy podcast program: STAB! In it comedians are given an existing acronym, asked to re-imagine it and share with the audience what it now stand for, and who it represent. Sometimes jokes can go too far, even when you're NBA Legend, Larry Bird. Eric Barger takes us on the journey of three friends, Ike, and Nick and Larry Bird, in his take on IANALB. ...
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Court Hansen - The Periodic Table Of Elements

January 9, 2020 • 1 min
With "Write a Poem About It" STAB! wordsmiths are asked to spin verse of either the Angry, Erotic, or Instructional variety. Slam, sonnet, free verse, all styles are welcome, how ever the words move them. Science and comedy share so many elements. Like manganese and neon. Court Hansen expresses the periodic table of elements in the only way that makes any sense: in the form of a slam poem. The science nerds will get it. Hear the ...
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Jesse Jones - SillyJokesylvania

November 7, 2018 • 3 mins
In STAB!'s "Department of Tourism", comedians are assigned the role of the new director of a made up city’s tourism board and charged with the task of trying to make us want to visit their city. They do that in many ways, these are some of them. Come see what everybody's groaning about in SillyJokesylvania! Let Jesse Jones show you around the rib tickling, eye rolling paradise that IS SillyJokesylvania! Knock-knock, (who's there?)...
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Stephen Ferris - Compression Socks

October 10, 2018 • 2 mins
With "Write a Poem About It" STAB! wordsmiths are asked to spin verse of either the Angry, Erotic, or Instructional variety. Slam, sonnet, free verse, all styles are welcome, how ever the words move them. Even Stephen Ferris can't believe what he's about to read, in this ode to the tight, enveloping power of the compression sock, and HE wrote it. Share with him the joy that only purposefully tight hosiery can provide. Hear the f...
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Edgar Granados - Acid Jazz

October 3, 2018 • 2 mins
"Dating Profiles of the Fictional and or Non-Fictional" pretty much says it all. Our comics are asked to create online dating profiles for anything from celebrities to inanimate objects. Funkalicious beats, rock climbing, COOKING! Edgar Granados invites you to get to know Acid Jazz, learn to fly in a world of mystery and fusion. Scat with Edgar, feel the moment, let loose, let your spirit jog through time and space! Listen to the...
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Jesse Jones - POOP

September 18, 2017 • 2 mins
"Reorganization" is a popular prompt often appearing in a typical episode of the comedy podcast program: STAB! In it comedians are given an existing acronym, asked to re-imagine it and share with the audience what it now stand for, and who it represent. There are a lot of ways to resolve conflicts. Here, Jesse Jones encourages you to consider presenting your POOP when trouble rears it's smelly head. Because Pleasant Options Open P...
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Chris Emery - Bagel Bites

February 8, 2017 • 1 min
With "Write a Poem About It" STAB! wordsmiths are asked to spin verse of either the Angry, Erotic, or Instructional variety. Slam, sonnet, free verse, all styles are welcome, how ever the words move them. It's not that Chris Emery was the first to see it, but he WAS the first to articulate the desire that we all have deep down inside for these tiny butt holes, covered in cheese. Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com...
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Joe-Joe Louis - Joe-Joe-A-Ville

January 4, 2017 • 2 mins
In STAB!'s "Department of Tourism", comedians are assigned the role of the new director of a made up city’s tourism board and charged with the task of trying to make us want to visit their city. They do that in many ways, these are some of them. Have you always thought a place with streets lined with broken dreams and discarded hentai magazines would make a perfect place to call home? INDUBITABLY! Well so has Joe-Joe Louis, so let...
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Jesse Jones - Middle School Bully

October 31, 2016 • 3 mins
"Dating Profiles of the Fictional and or Non-Fictional" pretty much says it all. Our comics are asked to create online dating profiles for anything from celebrities to inanimate objects. Hey dork! Listen to Jesse Jones tell you about the internal conflicts that a middle school bully has to deal with all while tryin' to find someone to punch walls with! And how important Aerosmith is to DEALING! Listen to the entire episode HERE: ...
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Jordan Gannon - Yoga Pants

October 26, 2016 • 4 mins
With "Write a Poem About It" STAB! wordsmiths are asked to spin verse of either the Angry, Erotic, or Instructional variety. Slam, sonnet, free verse, all styles are welcome, how ever the words move them. It's a poem two-fer! Jordan Gannon just couldn't poetically express himself properly with a single poem about yoga pants, so he crammed in two. You lucky so-and-so! Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=37181...
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Tyler Kinney - Catfisherman

October 21, 2016 • 2 mins
"Celebration Time"/"This Was Today Once" invites guests to share how they are, will or have celebrated historic or not so historic moments that just so happened to fall on the day of the show. Tyler Kinney uses the power of misrepresentation to build an empire on Catfish Day. So many jet skis and llamas, just there for the taking, and all you have to do is make someone feel special. Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher...
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Danielle Mandella - A Tampon

October 19, 2016 • 1 min
"Dating Profiles of the Fictional and or Non-Fictional" pretty much says it all. Our comics are asked to create online dating profiles for anything from celebrities to inanimate objects. Sometimes you just need a cozy night in, with a little sip of red. Danielle Mandella shares the dating profile of the home body we sometimes forget about, resulting in blood toxicity. Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?e...
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Alfonso Portela - Twas The Night Before Christmas

October 14, 2016 • 1 min
With "Write a Poem About It" STAB! wordsmiths are asked to spin verse of either the Angry, Erotic, or Instructional variety. Slam, sonnet, free verse, all styles are welcome, how ever the words move them. Alfonso Portela gives a fresh re-interpretation of a holiday classic, telling the story of the psychological effect of seeing Mommy giving Santa Clause a special kind of kiss. Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/...
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Jesse Jones - Inverse Fellatio

October 12, 2016 • 3 mins
"Celebration Time"/"This Was Today Once" invites guests to share how they are, will or have celebrated historic or not so historic moments that just so happened to fall on the day of the show. Behold the decree of High Emperor Groucho the Second (Jesse Jones)! No, you'll actually like the decrees. They're pretty awesome. Grab a knife and bowl! You'll need 'em! Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=41551532
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Ben Feldman - B-52s-atopia

October 7, 2016 • 1 min
In STAB!'s "Department of Tourism", comedians are assigned the role of the new director of a made up city’s tourism board and charged with the task of trying to make us want to visit their city. They do that in many ways, these are some of them. Get in your car which has been likened in size, to a WHALE, and come on down to B-52s-atopia, Ben Feldman's gonna show you around and maybe take you out for some LOBSTER! Hear the full ep...
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Tyler Kinney - The Virgin Mary

October 4, 2016 • 2 mins
"Dating Profiles of the Fictional and or Non-Fictional" pretty much says it all. Our comics are asked to create online dating profiles for anything from celebrities to inanimate objects. It's tough to get back out there after one of the most famous cases of immaculate infidelity in the history of the printed word, but Tyler Kinney helps the Virgin Mary try to get back on the market. Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.s...
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Jesse Jones - Front Row Professionals

May 20, 2016 • 3 mins
"Location, Location, Location" gives our comedians the task of selling us on why we should come to their business, despite it's less than ideal location. Hey pally, you need a little help in your kingdom of squares? Well then let Jesse Jones tell you all about deez guys he knows at Front Row Professionals. Dey GAHDIT! Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://bit.ly/1Tpvtox
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Alfonso Portela - Vlad The Impaler

April 1, 2016 • 2 mins
In "Vows to an Asshole" panelists are presented with a universally recognized asshole, to whom they will be professing their undying love and commitment in their own personally prepared wedding vows. Under this altar of woven limbs, Alfonso Portela proclaims his love for Vlad the Impaler to be ever greater than any stack of dead babies this or any other world world has ever known. Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.sti...
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