The Greatest Generation

When Commander Archer stages a mutiny aboard the ISS Enterprise, Captain Forrest gets thrown in the brig and T’Pol gets promoted to first officer. But after a Tholian warp signature leads them to a TOS-era Defiant, the Dustbuster club restores power just in time to see their ship get destroyed. Who is definitely picking up the phone in this era? How is the CrossFit of pain different from the Orange Theory of pain? What’s the worst ...

When the Entrepreneur encounters an Orion ship, its captain makes an offer that the crew can’t refuse. But after Archer figures out who’s really in charge, Tucker and T’Pol use their pheromonal immunity to save the ship. When is slavery like a bathroom? How is the EPS system like an ATM machine? Whose auction price can be compared to everything? It’s the very horny episode that’s red meat for a Star Trek teen.

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When the Entrepreneur is stuck at top speed and Commander Tucker is the only person who can help, Reed gets sprung from the brig to tether him over from the Columbia. But after a cold restart of the warp core leads them to Dr. Phlox, he lies to deploy a bioweapon saving the Colony from getting glassed. Which long-running podcast is making the world worse? What are Boomers uniquely susceptible to? Who is in a race to the bottom hono...

When some Klingons start experimenting with augment DNA, they start a pandemic and kidnap Dr. Phlox to find a cure. But after Hoshi gets melded and Reed gets thrown in the brig, the rest of the crew chase down a Rigelian ship and find the Entrepreneur has been sabotaged. What could push us into the physical-media lifestyle? Who is Trip Tucker’s Steve Stevens? Where do lady captains need to be careful? It’s the episode that’s going ...

When evidence reveals the drone pilot to be a white Andorian, Archer and Shran beam down to the polar region looking for the Aenar. But after building a telepresence chair right in the middle of sicksbay, the crew’s tests eventually reach Gareb and end the Romulan attack. Who’s not the easiest person to work with? Why are Ben and Adam never going back to the U.K.? What’s a great strategy for resigning from a job? It’s the episode t...

When Shran’s girlfriend dies at a Tellarite’s hand, the avenging of her death could ruin their alliance so Archer cuts in to end the duel honorably. But after Trip and Reed get trapped and irradiated, they blow up the damn ship and escape back to the Entrepreneur. Whose advice should always be followed? What is Admiral Gardener’s secret identity? Who never skips face day at the gym? It’s the episode that wanted more gash and Narg.

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When Shran’s ship gets blown up and the Entrepreneur is nearby to help, the mutual distrust between Tellarites and Andorians simmers over before trade talks can begin. But after the crew uncovers evidence that the marauding ship can shapeshift, Talas gets shot and Trip and Reed get left behind. What’s the Amish-style 69? How many ways can Babel be pronounced? Where do Andorians bust from? It’s the episode that’s Great, not Grawful.

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When Hoshi and Trip return from a Klingon garbage dump with a life-threatening illness, Reed and Mayweather start acting like aliens while Captain Archer and Dr. Phlox try to work out a cure. But after watching the virus take the lives of two crew members, Archer convinces the Organians to try out compassion instead. Who is the Night Stocker? How might Archer suck Klingon dick? Which character is the Harry Kim of Star Trek Enterpri...

When Captain Archer reunites with his retconned second family, the experiment set up by Dr. Erickson is a both a charade and a danger to the crew. But after Ensign Burrows is killed and Danica loses it at her dad, Trip gets suspicious and Emory finally has to let go of his son. Who ruined cupcakes? How does human slurry get removed from the transporter bucket? Which character is the Steve-O of pushing wheelchairs? It’s the episode ...

When V’Las is still warmongering at the Vulcan tactics table, Archer and T’Pau insist they must deliver the Kir’Shara to the High Command personally. But after Shran kidnaps Soval and tortures him for no reason, the Andorians team up with the Entrepreneur to avert V’Las’s war. What do all cults on Vulcan have in common? Which rules are outlined in the first chapter of the torturer’s manual? Who likes to travel with a knife roll? It...

When the Uxbridge-Shimoda company holds its first annual holiday party, everyone is invited and attendance is not optional. But after sharing a festive cocktail and suggesting attractive new possibilities for Lego, we’ll either bring back punch bowls or play a round of good keg, bad keg. What would constitute a very special episode of Factory Seconds? How does egg nog get weaponized? Where does Bill want to put his AP style book? I...

When Archer and T’Pol find the Syrannites in the caves, they reunite with Mrs. T and learn T’Pau wasn’t the United Earth Embassy bomber. But after Archer tells the Syrannites that he’s carrying Surak’s katra, he leads them to an important ancient relic while the High Command threatens war. How is Ben like T’Pau? Which type of prison cell feels like a very Vulcan idea? What’s the main thing that keeps Adam out of cults? It’s the epi...

When the United Earth Embassy gets blown up on Vulcan, an investigation begins and Dr. Phlox sniffs out the fake evidence right away. But after Archer and T’Pol go into danger looking for the wrong suspect, a mind meld by Soval reveals the identity of the real bomber. Where else could that one laurel go on the flag? What does GTL stand for on Vulcan? Which tortured holiday portmanteau works better? It’s the episode that opened a FO...

When Dr. Soong wants to hide all of his augments in the Briar Patch, Malik pitches a plan to start a war between the Klingons and Starfleet. But after Persis continues to play both sides by helping Soong escape to the Entrepreneur’s brig, Malik decides to blow up the Bird of Prey leaving only one family member to serve time. Who was the older brother Ben needed growing up? What is Soong’s record? Which upgrade comes with a premium ...

When Dr. Soong’s augments arrive at Cold Station 12 and continue their mission to unfreeze dangerous shit, Archer meets up with a Lennie Aug and convinces him to help kick the frozen can further down the road. But after the away team beams into a hostage situation, Soong extracts the codes from Richard Riehle and the augments leave everyone on the station to die. What’s a great errand at a great time? How is Ben like Arik Soong? Wh...

When a Klingon Bird-of-Prey brings aboard a couple of disheveled humans, their ass-kicking and ship-stealing behavior has the High Council super pissed. But after Starfleet figures out who these augmented augments are, the Entrepreneur picks up Dr. Arik Soong and brings him along on their mission to avert a war. How is Captain Archer like a UPS driver? Which character has a cry-after-sex vibe? What’s an extremely bad sign in a hold...

When the Entrepreneur arrives back at Earth and Captain Archer blows up in his debrief meeting, he ends up on vacation with an old flame who wants to help him clear his head. But after Tucker joins T’Pol for her shore leave on Vulcan, her betrothed makes an offer she really can’t refuse. What’s the real reason for only one laurel on the lectern? Which banger-enhancing upgrade won’t be installed on the NX-02? Who designed Darth Vade...

When Lt. Reed figures out where the timeline went wrong, Vosk offers up his prisoners and Captain Archer starts sharing everything he knows. But after Silik and Vosk clash and the Entrepreneur destroys the temporal hole, the timeline is restored and Agent Daniels agrees to fuck off. Which new collab could turn things around for the Purple Zebra? What’s the best way to hide all that rubble at the White House? Does Vosk have at least...

When the most kick-ass season of Enterprise starts in WWII for some reason, Captain Archer gets kidnapped by gangsters and Silik is back to slinking around on the ship. But after toxic sludge Daniels stumbles into sicksbay and dies, Archer returns to figure out exactly who needs to be stopped. What can be expected from any trip to the post office? Which room is next to the crying room and breastfeeding room? How does J. Paul Boehme...