The Offensive
An award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC. 'The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode - a must listen for football fans' - The Guardian 'Ultra-sharp satire' - GQ This podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episodes
Join Ashwood City FC on deadline day as the club's lack of spending during the window sparks an internal crisis. After manager Dan Watson appears on national radio to air his frustrations regarding a quiet transfer window, club Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is left with his Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall to try and get a handle on things.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woo...
Ashwood get their season underway at Vicarage Road as some serious foul play from their Croatian midfielder leaves Head of Communications Jess Tate clearing up the mess.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Additional voices:
Jo Price
Omari Douglas
Rhys Tees
Oliver Dowling
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Edited by:
Adam J...
In their first home game of the season, Ashwood City play host to Brighton as stadium developments cause havoc.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Additional voices:
Omari Douglas
Rhys Tees
Oliver Dowling
Dean Kilbey
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains e...
On the eve of their game at Crystal Palace; Patrick, Woody and Dan have met for dinner in London. As the night progresses Dan becomes increasingly frustrated that his expected dinner guest in Roy Hodgson is yet to show.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Joel Emery as Dan Watson
Additional voices:
Omari Douglas
Rhys Tees
Raphaela Israel-Öbeñg
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarre...
Following a huge result for Ashwood, Dan Watson's comments in a post-match interview leave reverberations around the club as Patrick, Jess and Woody attempt to curtail the lofty ambitions of their manager.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Joel Emery as Dan Watson
Additional voices:
Jo Price
Lucinda Shaw
Omari Douglas
Sirena Riley
Suzie Houlihan
Rhys Tees
Lar...
As Ashwood City failed to recruit a new manager during the international break they face Bournemouth with former under 23s coach Liam Brightwell as caretaker manager. Following the match Patrick is detained in Eddie Howe's office after a death threat is made on his life.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Dane Baptiste as Liam Brightwell
Acushla-Tara Kupe as Helen Weston &nb...
Ashwood are moments away from hiring Big Sam as the ownership throw a last minute obstacle in their way. Meanwhile, as Liam Brightwell looks to take charge of his second game as caretaker manager, a disastrous Ashwood City tweet dismisses him from the club.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Dane Baptiste as Liam Brightwell
Nalan Burgess as Jane
Lucy-Jane Quinla...
Following yet another defeat, this time at the hands of Chelsea; Ashwood City FC face action in the form of a last-minute supporter protest. With the club image in tatters, Jess is tasked with disrupting the protest and buying Ashwood some time - yet she has some commitments of her own.
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Lucy-Jane Quinlan as Erica
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' ...
Patrick and Woody are en route to Marseille to obtain the services of Head Coach Felix Grosjean, but a stumbling block is put in their place as the Marseille Chief-Executive is having second thoughts. Jess is tasked with keeping Chinese betting corporation, and Ashwood City shirt sponsor; iBET sweet, but heavy concessions are required.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
<...Ashwood City travel to Burnley after a disastrous and perplexing opening press conference for the new Head Coach; Felix Grosjean. The match takes a turn for the worse after a bust-up in the tunnel between Felix and Burnley manager Sean Dyche. Ashwood's problems deepen as the translator hired by Felix isn't fulfilling his duties.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Denis Mi...
During the height of the media storm following The Portsmouth Matter, Ashwood face Cardiff City on the pitch and an FA investigation off it, courtesy of the new Ashwood City Director of Ethics; Benedict Rice.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Oliver Dowling as Benedict Rice
Additional voices:
Omari Douglas
Rachel Summers
Jo Price
Lucy-Jan...
As the scandal deepens and FA investigations continue, Head of Ethics: Benedict Rice, along with Chief Executive Patrick Nolan and the Vice Head of Football Operations Nick Bernardi have accompanied the playing staff aboard the train to Newcastle, as a show of solidarity for their upcoming fixture.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Sam Hallahan as Nick 'The Prick' Bernardi
Oliver Dowling as Benedict Rice
Additional voices...
As Ashwood City combat a supporter protest during a game where both home and away fans have been banned; Woody is entering his third week of suspension, and is looking to make a comeback.
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Additional voices:
Omari Douglas
Sam Hallahan
Luke Stevenson
Oliver Dowling
Simon Shaw
Rhys Tees
Episode written by:
Joel...
Another defeat - this time away to relegation candidates Huddersfield Town, leaves Ashwood in the bottom three for the first time this season. The ownership begin to have mixed feelings about their Head Coach Felix Grosjean; leaving Patrick, Jess and Woody tasked with planning for the future. For Patrick, the vote of confidence from the board members takes an opportunistic turn...
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena...
As Ashwood prepare for the visit of Liverpool, Patrick is infuriated following derogatory comments about Ashwood from Jurgen Klopp and various analysts within the mainstream media. In an effort to enact revenge and give Ashwood the upper hand in the game he and Woody take drastic steps.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Additional voices:
Rhys Tees
...
As Ashwood are drawn against Kent rivals Gillingham in the FA Cup third round; Patrick has gone AWOL from the club as he attempts to close in on his purchase of the Ashwood City shares.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Maude Hirst as Elaine Keller
Additional voices:
Joel Emery
Oliver Dowling
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Edited by:
Adam J...
With the transfer window opening in just over two weeks and with a new Head Coach lined up to replace the struggling Felix Grosjean; Ashwood are conducting their annual transfer committee. Amidst the chaotic player recruitment and research, Patrick is looking to sign his player that will secure funds for Thomas Fell and ensure Patrick receives 15% of the club for a cut price.
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Paul...
MERRY CHRISTMAS
The Offensive will return on Monday 7th January with an FA Cup special.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis
Oliver Dowling as Benedict Rice
Denis Michallet as Felix Grosjean
Joel Emery as Dan Watson
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNIN...
It's time for the FA Cup Third Round and The Kent Derby. Off the back of an encouraging run under new manager Rod Meadows the Ashwood City bus is stopped in its tracks outside Priestfield Stadium in Gillingham as the local crowds block its approach.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
...
Back-to-back wins have put Ashwood into 14th and now they face the prospect of Crystal Palace at home. Pre-match, Ashwood are looking to announce a major new signing and have hired a specialist events company for the announcement.
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Nicola Kill as Kate Sinclair
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarr...
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