Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast
A team of artists telling THE GREATEST BEST FRIEND STORY that the galaxy has ever seen! While everybody else is out saving the world, we’re just trying to find the next best place to eat. Join us on our haphazard adventure.
Episodes
July 30, 2025 • 10 mins
While the Bastards and The Caps are busy planning their rescue mission, Margo is busy hunting down her own backup plan.
Deep in the jungle on a desolate planet, Margo is tracking down the perpetually-captured duo known as "Nine Blades", (despite having only eight visible), and his precognitive partner Vache de Mer. With their “help”, Margo hatches a scheme to infiltrate BioLife and save Cleo. Her plan? Use Vache and Nine Blades’ ...
Mark as Played
July 16, 2025 • 34 mins
The gang's all here! Well, all but one. After being scattered across the galaxy, The Bastards finally reunite on the dusty Backwater planet of Daius to prepare for a Cleo rescue- wherever she may be. They meet up with some of Cleo’s old crew, obey to hear their tales about mysterious black nanobots and a BioLife capture! Between Boris's newfound assertiveness, Trevor's questionable ship repairs, and Ze's Ze-ness, the Bastards must ...
Mark as Played
September 13, 2024 • 71 mins
Trevor has returned and has brought news of Cleo, but she needs help. So now Ze and Boris must race to finish their business on Garcia station to get to her aid. But just one thing, that business is an intergalactic war.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by @georginalesaux
Ambiance sound support by Ja...
Mark as Played
August 28, 2024 • 61 mins
Trevor has returned and has brought news of Cleo, but she needs help. So now Ze and Boris must race to finish their business on Garcia station to get to her aid. But just one thing, that business is an intergalactic war.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by @georginalesaux
Ambiance sound support by ...
Mark as Played
August 14, 2024 • 27 mins
The bastards have been hit with the most ancient of foes, the scheduling big bad! and have lost. So this week instead of an episode we give you a tasty offcut. Please take this offering and grant us some extra time.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Synth Mus...
Mark as Played
August 1, 2024 • 64 mins
Ze, Boris and M8 are at war. Barely alive and grappling with the deformed remnants of their plans, the Doctor and his crew face the wrath of the roused Synth Army. As the drones fly in, Ze and the assembled Bastards prepare for the end. But what they get, is something else entirely.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthe...
Mark as Played
July 17, 2024 • 74 mins
Dr. Ze, Boris and M8 have no choice but to flee the Angel they came to save. With the help of a fast car, the legacy code, and Thespa’s militia, they brace for the impact to come… Both from the loose Angel, and the leagues of synthetic deserters- desperate for the refuge of a less violent world.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- ...
Mark as Played
June 19, 2024 • 89 mins
The Doctor Ze , Boris and M8 otherwise known as PUMP BOIS are in some deep danger, how deep? try behind enemy lines deep. But they must go deeper if they are to find and free M8s angel.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by IG @georginalesaux
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Syn...
Mark as Played
June 5, 2024 • 31 mins
It's a special time, it's time for us to chow down on some OFFCUTS, all the tasty lil morsels that didn't make it into the main episode are now here, for your ear pleasure. And if you wanna hear more of this and all of our other Patreon exclusive content then check us out on Patreon. There is even a FREE 7 day trial if you would just like a taste.
Love ya all and see you INNN SPPPAAACCCCEEEE! ( in space )
Starring:
DM Dick Dyn...
Mark as Played
May 23, 2024 • 62 mins
Cleo has been taken aboard the ship for scientific testing, but it doesnt seem like this will be easy, for Cleo or the crew.
But whos that in the shadows?
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by Drew
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio
Episode...
Mark as Played
April 25, 2024 • 82 mins
Bortis and Margo have infiltrated the Biolife stronghold, leaving Cleo and Fron in the jungle behind them. Struggling to find a way after them, Cleo and Fron turn to old tactics. It wasn’t that long ago that a party split punished the Bastards- what tidings will it bring today?
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
...
Mark as Played
April 11, 2024 • 80 mins
M8, Ze and Boris have found their way to Garcia station, and with the help from an old friend Thespa they now know how to get to the synth side to find their lost Angel. But to do that they will need to rely on Brawn, not brains.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by Daniel Matthews
Ambiance sound sup...
Mark as Played
March 28, 2024 • 76 mins
M8, Ze and Boris arrive on Garcia station. But the station, its changed, and the gang are looking for a lost angel . So in order to do that they are first gonna have to find the local warlord. Thespa.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by Bodieh
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
S...
Mark as Played
March 14, 2024 • 129 mins
It’s leap year on Earth, and that means one thing- Tay and Dan are putting on TURTLENECKS. Trevor and R.E.E.S.E. continue their hunt for Dr. Ze and Boris, when they hit a spot of engine trouble. Find out what becomes of them as Tay and Dan co-DM the DM for the first time ever in a special one time glimpse into Trevor’s Travels! He’s on a journey, and at this rate- it might take a whole ‘nother leap year to get back home… (Especia...
Mark as Played
February 29, 2024 • 87 mins
Margo and Cleo head out to thwart the galactic company Biolife once more, but halfway there they are con-fronn-ted with stowaways. Now the crew must navigate a jungle planet to discover if Margo's worst fears are true.
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Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by Daniel Matthews
Ambiance sound support by J...
Mark as Played
February 7, 2024 • 75 mins
Cleo is back on Diaus, Old friends Bortus and Fronn are waiting for the return of their great leader, But how will they take her new look? and is CapTown ready for Cleo's return?
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Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by Daniel Matthews
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Synth Music ...
Mark as Played
January 11, 2024 • 78 mins
Our Crew have been spread out across Mid Space, and on an outworld moon Dr Ze and Boris continue to lose themselves, fighting away the pain of loss with drink. But while returning to their ship the M.A.X the duo are confronted with an old friend.
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Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by Richard Kimber-Be...
Mark as Played
December 31, 2023 • 109 mins
It’s another year in the Bastard Books! If you’re reading this, we wouldn’t have gotten this far without you. Join us on a stroll through 2023, as we reminisce over the year’s stories, some big moments, and perhaps.. a sneak peek into what awaits us in 2024…
If you’re a new listener- tread lightly! Here be spoilers!
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Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Z...
Mark as Played
December 20, 2023 • 102 mins
Join Tay and Dick as they ‘awaken in a stage place’ alongside Pip and Naomi of Realms of Peril and Glory Podcast, on a delicious solar punk steamboat, that's also a galaxy-wide famous restaurant. But not all is as it seems on this restaurant, for there has been a murder most foul…
Wanna hear more like this? Well don't worry, we got you. Head over to the Realms of Peril and Glory Podcast to hear “Chicken in the Fog”, a collab we did...
Mark as Played
November 15, 2023 • 25 mins
Margo blue eyes Finds cleo and take her back to the good dirt for a final rest.
This is the fifth of a collection of shorts showcasing the myriad of perspectives in the immediate aftermath of the second season finale. They mark the end of one story, and the beginning of another. Stay tuned for Season 3!
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Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektr...
Mark as Played
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