Band Meeting
Band Meeting is a podcast chronicling the challenges two musicians face putting together a wildly successful band. Hosts Sheila F and Joe Stoner get together every week after band practice to discuss their dreams, goals, and the presumably minor obstacles.
Episodes
Episode 61 has everything! It’s got pumps. It’s got balls. It’s got Rick Moranis’s pump for his balls. So take off your over the shoulder boulder holders, get comfy, and join us as we pump up the space jam! We love you, Morgan Freeman!
Listener, get your calculators! According to Pavlov’s Hierarchy and Maslov’s Response, our highly coveted segment is back… Yuppers. It’s Math Time! Beware- you’re about to get your cortexes crunched. Posterior Parietal, Ventrotemporal, and Occipital… BLAMMO! What’s worse? We have a special guest appearance from just the strictest parent this side of the Yazoo-Mississippi Delta Burke. Watch out. Here comes the Origami Swami Mommy.
It’s Earth Day, baby! Not only is the band on fire, Sheila F just passed a gale of munchie-induced wind! And for all of you inquiring minds, the band celebrated the “High Holiday” in fit fashion. They even continued to stand on ceremony two days later. In the spirit of Earth Day, they kept it “green!” So join them in Madison Square Garden (a.k.a. Mother Nature’s Brothel) and listen to them drop the three R’s of Earth Day – Resin, R...
Hey Folks! Joe has a real schnoz sitch! He thinks he “knows” his nose until the harsh reality of Covid-19 mask making puts him in a nasal noose! Naturally, Sheila F fashions him a fashion-forward replacement. Spoiler Alert – Chianti and fava beans are ready for their tricenary triumph… SLURP, SLURP, SLURP!
In episode 57, Sheila F reveals her AWESOME new catch phrase! After regretting his excessive Ambien-induced, Amazon Prime purchases, Joe Stoner decides to get his “sleep studied.” Tune your frequencies between 25 and 40Hz and to have a lucid look into the minds of musical mastery!
Join Joe Stoner with his other host Sheila F! She is back, baby! And there is rust on neither her dulcet tones nor her trombone! The two are eager to talk like Lousianians and like Ron Howard. So… “they did.” Quickly, the duo delves into other topical topics such as: What is the difference between Anthony Keidis and James Brown? What is the poem in YOUR pocket? Do penises howl? And most importantly – What’s Malkoviching your Malkov...
How will Joe Stoner respond to the band’s flood of FMVM? (That stands for “Fan Mail Voice Mail” for our primarily octogenarian – saturated listening demographic). Will he be able to determine who’s a Real Deal HolyField and who’s a Parker Posey Poser? And what’s with all the vanity numbers? If you have any idea, please call 1-800-Mrs. Dick. Joe changed his number.
Joe Stoner becomes frustrated at Sheila’s “inability to make noise that is sensible for an audio format.” Sheila F thinks he’s straight up “clipping”! Who is right? And why is Sheila on a belching bender? Tune into episode 54 and you might just learn the answers. Rumor is that Frank the Wiener has some very prescient knowledge!
Where in the world is Sheila F? Has she aBANDoned Joe Stoner for a foray with Francis McDormand? What role does Frank the Weiner and Rick Morranis play in all this chaos? Will Joe have to launch a “war on the stars” to find his fucking friend? To answer these pressing questions, grab your closest conch shell, turn it around, and tune in!
Oh poop scoop! The band is facing friendship fragility! Rather than explain the companion’s crossroad in laymen language, let recitative bring you up to speed! Do, Re, Mi, Fa, Sol, La, Ti, forgive Sheila, Joe!
It’s that time of the month … Fact or Rumor? 1. Fact! Rumors were invented by Fleetwood Mac! (Lindsey Buckingham didn’t piss clean for his most recent lie detector test) 2. Rumor! Pee Pee in belly buttons make babies! 3. Fact! It takes ~ three fortnights of continual, Nyquil induced, ass-adjacent hibernation for two friends to synch up their punctuation marks! (#fuscottbaio)
After 49 countless band meetings, it’s time to finally peek behind the curtain that makes this band turn the beat around and turn over a new leaf. Revelations are made, sins are atoned, and tones ascend with two big new changes. But will the band break up? No. We’re stronger than ever. Happy 50th episode!
During their 49th Band Meeting, the duo are definitely not out of all “spoonerisms.” I/ She/ We…uhhh… Well the point is that this band is super sexsuccessful given the following infallible facts:
1) They are positive that Sheila F’s Papa Gino’s Card will finance the band’s new corvette!
2) They are unequivocally recording in a band studio (a.ka.a) called a Limited Liability Cartoon Cow!
3) They are indubitably sponsored by Banana B...
Sheila F and Joe Stoner’s friendship is in peril! While under the decaying clapboards of the boardwalk, it becomes clear that Joe’s “moonscreen” doesn’t prevent him from being moonstruck! What will happen to the band when “the moon hits Joe’s eye with a smitten pizza sand pie?”
Joe Stoner and Sheila F are “Best Friends Gone Wild!” That’s right! They are on the Vay2TheK! Destined for stratospheric success, what could keep them from walking on the moon? Certainly not “moon block”!
Facing an impending “Seasonal Affective Court Order,” Sheila F is in a real “Molly Mcmurphy” mood! Thankfully, Joe Stoner musters his inner Dwayne the Muscle Man Savage and provides Sheila with support. Her tirade includes such gems as the direct correlation between chain restaurants and hygiene as well as one long winded whine. “Sit the H E double hockey sticks down, Meredith Bagpipe Birney!”
Hing! Hing! Hing! Sheila F and Joe Stoner have landed their first gig and they are ready to rock the Gen Pop! However, Sheila F flips the F Double Hockey Sticks out when she realizes that she forgot all of the band instruments. Can Joe deal with her misplaced anger or will his laughter escalate her into an uncharted realm of rage?
Ever wonder why your Nanna knows so much about Ron Jeremy? Wonder what puts the “Daft” in Punk? Every wonder if Purell or regular hand soap makes Pharell Williams “happy”? You guys are curious as kittens! And we heard your curious meow. So listen to episode 44 now!
It’s Sheila F’s birthday and she fell off the edge of the earth, so Joe’s writing this synopsis! I think he’s doing a great job. Possibly a perfect job. But this isn’t a performance review, it’s the synopsis of a great meeting for a great band. How long is this supposed to be anyway? Jon Hamm, if you’re listening, I lost my phone. Everybody else, buy some bags of dirt. And send.
Room, Room! Joe Stoner, Sheila F, and their roomba are surrounded by no dearth of dirt in this episode! Incidentally, they also reached singularity in a black hole and came down with a wicked case of spaghettification! (And no, Axl! That is not a nod to your album The Spaghetti Incident, you little piggy). Despite the distracting dirtbags, the duo sticks to a tidy agenda. They even manage to keep their newest member’s hands, Elizab...
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