Dark Wings, Dork Words

Dany executes Varys. Jon won't show her any love, but still swears fealty. Tyrion hopes for a relatively peaceful surrender and frees Jaime to try to engineer it. Dany blows shit up. The Hound talks some sense into Arya, who then struggles through the mayhem of King's Landing falling down around her. Cleganebowl is satisfying. Jaime kills Euron, who is conveniently in his path en route to Cersei. He finds her in despair, leads her ...

The survivors in the North mourn their dead, burning them on funeral pyres. During a somber feast, Daenerys names Gendry Lord of Storm's End to great huzzahs. He then seeks out Arya and proposes to her, but she says thanks but no thanks. Jaime and Brienne hook up, much to Tormund's dismay. Daenerys begs Jon to keep his true parentage under wraps. Bronn arrives to demand Highgarden in exchange for not killing Jaime and Tyrion. Daene...

The Dead arrive at Winterfell and relentlessly slaughter the defenders, pushing their way over the walls. Before all hell breaks loose Melisandre arrives, sets the Dothraki's arakhs ablaze, inspiring them all to charge off and die instantly. This alarms Daenerys, who takes to the air with Drogon to go burn some baddies. What follows is a confused, hazy, dark slog of death and defeat. Jon and Daenerys engage the Night King on dragon...

Jaime is more or less put on trial for murdering Daenerys' father, but Brienne vouches for him, and Sansa says 'as long as we got a voucher'. Jaime later apologizes to Bran for pushing him out the window, but Bran says 'whatevs'. Tyrion is in the doghouse with Daenerys for being outsmarted by Cersei, but Jorah vouches for him. Daenerys tries to bond with Sansa over their mutual affection for for Jon, but blows it by not answering S...

All the heroes converge upon Winterfell and learn the White Walkers have broken through the Wall with an undead dragon. Sansa and the Northern lords are suspicious of Daenerys and don't believe the Lannisters are sending reinforcements. At King's Landing, Euron delivers the Golden Company, then gets it on with Cersei. Qyburn instructs Bronn that Cersei orders him to kill Tyrion and Jaime, if they should survive the coming war. Theo...

Almost all the major players converge on the dragon pit to negotiate an armistice. The hound opens up the wight's crate, who is shy at first, then lunges for Cersei's face.  Euron pretends to bow out, and Cersei says she'll agree to help defeat the Night King if Jon promises to keep the North out of the eventual war for the Iron Throne.  Jon cannot tell a lie and says he's already bent the knee to Daenerys.  Cersei says fuck you th...

Arya reminisces about her dad, then confronts Sansa about the letter she found. Sansa rifles through Arya's stuff and finds faces. Tyrion tells Daenerys to play it cool with Cersei. The ranging party gets their asses kicked by the undead beyond the wall. Gendry runs all the way back to Eastwatch, has them send a raven to Daenerys, who mounts a rescue, dragon-style. After they torch plenty of undead the Night King casually throws an...

Jaime and Bronn resurface from the abyss safely out of sight of their enemies and return to King's Landing. Daenerys disregards Tyrion's counsel and toasts some Tarlys. Jon pets Drogon under Dany's admiring gaze.  Jorah shows up and gets a hug from his Khaleesi. Bran wargs into a murder of crows and sees the Night King's horde on the march.  Ravens are dispatched.  Davos smuggles Tyrion into King's Landing, where he meets with Jaim...

Arya returns to Winterfell, where she is told by the guards to fuck off, but eventually is reunited with Sansa in the crypt.  Later she spars with Brienne, revealing her badassitude. Bran says see ya to Meera.  Littlefinger gifts the Valyrian steel dagger to Bran, who seems unimpressed, but later imparts it to Arya, seeming to be aware the course of events this has set in motion. The emissary from the Iron Bank reminds Cersei bitch...

Jon arrives at Dragonstone, where he comes face-to-face with Daenerys.  She wants him to bend the knee.  Jon asks for help to fight the Night King and the Army of the Dead.  Daenerys is baffled.  Melisandre skips town, but says "I'll be back".  Bran arrives at Winterfell and creeps Sansa the fuck out.  Euron delivers his prize to Cersei, who indicates they can marry once they win the war.  Cersei gives Tyene a poisok Kiss and conde...

Daenerys sends the sea snakes on Yara's fleet to gather the forces of Dorne, sends the Unsullied to attack Casterly Rock and plans a siege of King's Landing. She has a heart-to-heart with Varys, warning him to be more honest and loyal than he has proved to past Kings.  Melisandre shows up to pitch her flexible prophecy. Grey Worm and Missandei share a touching, and naked, farewell. Cersei tries to woo the bannermen of Highgarden to...

Seven be praised, Game Of Thrones is back and so are we!  The new season kicks off with a killer cold open featuring Arya, followed by a lot of table setting.  We get a good look at where are the surviving major characters are and what their motivations are.  Jon, Sansa, Littlefinger, Tormund, Brienne and Pod at Castle Black.  Oh yeah, and Bran and Meera arrive there as well.  Bran's reunion with his siblings didn't make the cut th...