Coffee with The Couple Cure
Practical Tips to help your relationship, by the time you finish your first cup–with Relationship Mentors, Jay and Lori Pyatt
Episodes
July 28, 2025 • 23 mins
After 15 years of addiction, lies, and hiding, Jay finally found BROKENNESS. Not in a loud, dramatic crash, but in a quiet, rock-bottom moment where he just couldn’t keep lying about it... not to his wife, and not to himself.
In this video, we unpack THE MOMENT everything shifted, the darkest time in our marriage. We also cover the exact truths that went through Jay's mind at that moment, what finally broke the cycle, and what ac...
Mark as Played
July 14, 2025 • 10 mins
What does real intimacy feel like after betrayal, addiction, and years of rebuilding trust? In this episode, we open up about how Jay’s ability to connect has changed over time — from fake vulnerability and performance to HONEST EMOTIONS and simple, humble presence.
Jay shares how he used to seek physical intimacy to avoid emotions, and how healing has redefined what closeness feels like. We talk about the risks of being emotionall...
Mark as Played
June 30, 2025 • 14 mins
‘I thought intimacy was just sex—until I started recovering from porn addiction.’ In this video, Jay shares how ONE POWERFUL TOOL helped him heal our relationship, create real intimacy, and start feeling connected in a way he ‘didn’t think was possible’ when healing from his porn addiction. We also bring up a caution or two, providing guidance on how to implement this tool depending on where you are in your own healing journey.
Whe...
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June 17, 2025 • 9 mins
In this episode of the Couple Cure Podcast, we dive into the complexities of intimacy (OUTSIDE the bedroom) when Jay was in active addiction, the challenges of seeking validation, and the impact of hidden lives on self-worth. Through personal stories, we discuss the hardships faced due to perceived inadequacies, and how addiction can distort the perception of love and intimacy. We also set the stage for further exploration of what ...
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June 6, 2025 • 15 mins
Jay confesses something he’s never told anyone before: One way he lied to keep his addiction hidden. (Hint: it’s one thing some addicts do to keep their secrets.) He’s also asked if he thinks that tactic would have passed a polygraph. We also share a few techniques that might help in this situation. And stay until the end to see us in a real-life moment.
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:31 What is one lying technique Jay used that ...
Mark as Played
May 23, 2025 • 8 mins
In this episode, I ask Jay if he will answer some difficult question this season—questions like:
--What are some tactics he used to get away with lying for so long?
--How did he pretend to change--without really changing?
--Was there a time he almost told the truth, but continued lying instead?
--What emotions was he avoiding?
--How did he feel when his accountability partners let him off the hook?
--What is one thing h...
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February 21, 2025
In this, our last episode of Season 5, we address six ways to help you find out if you’ve been given the full truth / signs he might still be lying. We also cover what pressure can do to some addicts.
(A big THANK YOU to everyone who submitted questions for this season. Thank you, especially, for allowing us to be a small part of your healing journey.)
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro and Viewer Question
1:05 It depends on what you’re...
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In this episode of The Couple Cure, Jay tackles the question: 'How serious do I need to be about my recovery?' Using his own history and insights, he discusses the inevitable challenges and pushbacks you will face when you commit to a change, especially in the context of addiction or betrayal recovery. He emphasizes the importance of STARTING IMMEDIATELY, and understanding that obstacles will always be present. He also highlights t...
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January 24, 2025 • 14 mins
Summary: Rebuilding Trust through Tangible Evidence of Change after Lies
In this episode, we respond to a wife’s question about the importance of seeing tangible evidence in her husband's growth process. We discuss the importance of PROACTIVE steps in behavior change, and share our own personal story after Jay had lied over 1000 times. The episode explores various ways to rebuild trust, like taking notes during counseling sessions...
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January 3, 2025 • 15 mins
In this episode, recorded on New Year's Eve, we discuss the importance of having a solid plan to ensure your new year is better than the last. We delve into specific steps for making effective New Year's resolutions and highlight the significance of focus and new behaviors in achieving different outcomes. The episode offers guidance for addicts and their partners on formulating plans that go beyond mere intentions, and include prac...
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December 20, 2024 • 15 mins
In this episode, we explore how addicts truly change by focusing on the impact of experiencing true pain and loss. Divided into two parts—one for non-Christians and the other for Christians—we discuss the significance of giving up power, inspired by scripture, to become truly healed and dependent on God. With references to personal anecdotes, men’s magazines, 12-step programs, and the idea of renouncing 'boss' culture, the script e...
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December 6, 2024 • 11 mins
***Trigger Warning for Alcoholics in Recovery***
In this episode, Jay addresses a common question addicts may have, along the lines of, “Will I have to pay for this forever?” He answers with the truth: After trust is broken by betrayal, it depends on how well the addict owns his part in her pain… and tries to aid in her recovery.
0:00 Introduction
0:21 Other forms of this question and initial answer
0:46 She doesn’t limp (a real...
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November 21, 2024 • 16 mins
In this episode, we address a difficult question from a viewer about a lack of physical touch in her marriage, even while undergoing chemotherapy. We delve into the possible reasons behind her husband's behavior, including possible emotional retaliation or unresolved trauma. There is also compassionate advice on how to explore personal needs and desires, and questions to ask as you seek the right guidance to make informed decisions...
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November 8, 2024 • 12 mins
If you have ever been called a Drama Queen, this episode may help heal the sting of that label. But first, Jay and Lori tackle the issue of being flooded with bad memories right as you get close to forgiving him—even if your relationship has healed the broken trust.
TIMESTAMPS
0:00 Intro & Question
0:52 Forgiving unrepentance?
1:41 Guys, if someone is against you…
2:35 Solution: Do these things proactively
3:25 Staying near him...
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October 25, 2024 • 21 mins
***Trigger Warning: Given the sensitive nature of this topic, please proceed cautiously.***
Jay and Lori tackle the struggle of not feeling physically desired by the husband. They explore the intricate dynamics of femininity, desire, and physical appearance within a marriage. The discussion delves into misconceptions about desire versus lust. Lori shares her personal journey of reclaiming her own femininity, and how it started with...
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October 11, 2024 • 4 mins
Description
In this short video, we discuss the issue of anger and withdrawal/retraction, and we’ll cover what it looks like as the addicts we work with recover and learn new skills. At the end, we’ll also give *one of the signs that the recovery is real* for you to look for.
Timestamps
0:00 Intro and Question
0:22 They are two different issues (the bigger monster)
1:31 Anger is one of the first to come back (reconnecting AND...
Mark as Played
September 27, 2024 • 17 mins
In this episode, we discuss why you might feel the need to bring up past betrayals even years later. We explore what it means if you can’t stop talking about it. Plus, we offer advice for the guys on how to have these difficult conversations, and give you alternative options if your partner doesn’t want to talk about it.
00:00 Introduction
00:16 It’s a sign
03:23 When guys say, “But you forgave me!” (absolution)
04:22 When to sto...
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September 13, 2024 • 16 mins
(*Trigger Warning for the Final Section*)
This heartfelt and candid video delves into a sensitive topic that some women struggle with: “Why do some husbands choose recovery while others do not. Is that about the wife… is that about me?”
Prompted by a deeply vulnerable question from my client, MB, I explore various factors that might influence a man's decision to commit to recovery—coping mechanisms, risk and vulnerability, as ...
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August 30, 2024 • 2 mins
Jay and Lori talk about the typical time it takes for an addict to readjust sources of dopamine, as well as why it can take longer… or shorter.
Timestamps
0:00 Intro & Question
0:18 What the experts say
0:36 Solution: What helps it end overnight
1:13 When you should go longer
--
https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ - Jay and Lori's website
https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ - Lori's site for betrayed partners
https...
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August 16, 2024 • 2 mins
In this short video, we answer to the question, “Do all strugglers relapse” as well as the top two things partners can do if the addict keeps relapsing. We’ll also share one of the first things addicts have to do in order to overcome porn.
Timestamps
0:00 Introduction and first question
0:21 The first thing a guy has to do to quit porn
0:37 Top 2 things a partner can do (and do they work?)
1:24 Are our breathing techniques po...
Mark as Played
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