Podcasts Will Never Help You

Podcasts Will Never Help You

We're two best friends with lots of time and even more opinions. This is our ridiculously broad pop-culture podcast, and we couldn't be more excited to spin up the Hot Take machine and get caught in its gears. Screaming.

Episodes

#12 – Invictus

August 15, 2018
It metis not heau strait the gate, Heau chahged with punishmints the scroll, Oi am the mestah of my faite, Oi am the keptin of my saul.
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#11 – Behind The Music

August 10, 2018
The reason this episode is so late is cause I got tied up dealing with Celestial Winter Trash's legal team (they're RUTHLESS), and then I tried to play some Mario Kart to cool off but it only made things worse.
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#10 – Shitty Riposte

July 31, 2018
It's the PWNHY Tenniversary Special, and we fucked it up by oversharing on anime. But if you like discourse on pro wrestling, Gerudo politics, or bad ska eulogies, this is the show for you!
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#9 – You Say Turismo, I Say Turismo

July 22, 2018
Remember in Naruto when they timeskipped and Shikamaru got wicked competent and everybody stopped dressing like they were on a Saturday morning PBS cartoon? This is not that. At all.
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#8 – Worst Best Friends

April 4, 2018
Broaden your horizons regarding what people can get away with in professional filmmaking and video game development in this joke-tacular belated April Fool's special! We tackle disappointing DLC, suffocating soundtracks, and classic Fools' hoaxes from over the years.
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#7 – No Win Scenarios

March 28, 2018
In this, the first ever podcasting bildungsroman, Skavi and Juan learn about inappropriate covers, shitty tournaments, and the role of indoctrination in neoliberal capitalism. Also yr Fortnite is trash.
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#6 – Revenge Of The N.E.R.D.

March 21, 2018
Juan confronts some demons from his youth in this episode as we discuss surrealism in anime, game design, and film. Make Tommy go away.
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#5 – Duelist Mouth

March 13, 2018
This is it. The one you've all been waiting for. Finally, the secret of the special features on the home release of Thor 2: The Dark World are revealed. We also walk back our views on bad ice cream, and Skavi activates their trap card.
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#4 – This is My Twin, T’Challla, with 3 L’s

March 6, 2018
Today's episode has two sickbois as we discuss similarities to Childish Gambino on the new Janelle Monae, and Juan sniffles and croaks his way through an illness. Also, we conclude our reading of Black Panther, discuss a new giant robot strategy game, and the dark pig skeletons in David Cameron's closet.
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#3 – Devil May Cry: Dante’s Ding-Dong

February 27, 2018
Submitted for Grammy consideration, this episode see us diving down the rabbit hole of bad movie CGI and golden-age reality TV. Plus a troubling discovery in some browser documentation.
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#2 – Christopher Nolan’s Dragon Ball Super

February 18, 2018
We’re back with better audio quality, hotter takes, and actual introductions! Join us this week as we discuss Black Panther (with no spoilers), Shadow of the Colossus, Guy Fieri, latin american folk music, and more.
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#1 – What’s Your Return Policy On Horses

February 12, 2018
The inaugural episode of Podcasts Will Never Help You or PWNHY. Call us what you like as long as you're calling! Join us this week as we discuss celebrity restaurants, I, Tonya, continuing to engage with music you listened to as a Teen, going to jail for GTA Online crimes, and more! P.S. MalContent Studios is aware of the sound. Don't @ MalContent Studios regarding the sound.
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