The Richard Nicholls Mental Health Podcast
To inspire, educate and motivate you to be the best you can be. Learn about tackling mental health problems like Anxiety and Depression as well as simple tips to understand the world better, in a down to earth and genuine way with the Best Selling Author and Psychotherapist Richard Nicholls.
Episodes
Jumping into the time machine today, back to 1968 when a researcher built a paradise for mice. A place with unlimited food, total safety, nothing to fear, and watched the whole thing fall apart anyway.
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People often use the word panic to mean the same as anxiety. But in my world, the 2 are separated so as to ensure people get the right sort of therapy.
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Attention seeking gets used as an insult, doesn't it. But wanting to be noticed is one of the most fundamental human drives we have. Today I'm looking at why we got this so badly wrong, and what's actually going on when someone gets labelled that way.
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Self forgiveness isn’t about pretending the past didn’t happen, or letting ourselves off the hook. It’s about learning the difference between responsibility and punishment. Because you can’t hate yourself into becoming well.
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When we notice our mistakes or our inconsistencies, it's easy to label ourselves as a failure. But becoming the best we can be is a continual process, not a destination.
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Who's responsible if we fall flat on our face and nothing goes right?
More importantly, who's responsible if we don't pick ourselves up again?
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A bad attitude is like a flat car tyre.
You're not going anywhere unless you change it.
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The rules of toxic masculinity suggest that to be a real man you should never lose, have no needs, suffer in silence, show no emotions except bravado and anger, be independent, show no weakness.
It’s an impossible code to live by and it hurts everyone.
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Because we're not born knowing how to do anything that comes naturally to us as adults, we're literally born to fail along the way.
Whether that's learning to walk, talk or how to be calm in difficult situations. We have to learn. We have to practice. And the only way to do that is to get it wrong.
Time to embrace our failures!
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Call it a crush, call it new relationship energy, call it infatuation. But if it becomes an addiction, then you can easily become your own drug dealer by retreating into fantasy.
That's when it starts to become a very serious problem.
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Not only is my house full left over Christmas chocolate but the supermarkets are already pushing Easter eggs onto me and there's only so much willpower we have to resist.
But sometimes it's all a matter of perspective.
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Understanding a little bit about the effects of different parenting styles can really help us understand ourselves better. As well as help us to understand others.
Let's have a peek into some of the basics shall we?
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Phenomenology is a posh word that psychologists use to mean the idea of someone's subjective and individual experience.
We could all have exactly the same experience but feel completely different about it and it's important we understand why.
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If your sense of self is based around helping others and it's the only place where you get your self worth from. It might be worth checking that you don't make things worse.
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According to multiple studies, fear of judgement is the number one biggest fear, above dying.
The author Elbert Hubbard once wrote, "Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing, and you'll never be criticised." And that's probably the only way to avoid criticism, isn't it?
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Today is International Relaxation Day. So I thought I'd do something different this week for my bonus episode and guide you through a 5 minute relaxation exercise.
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Most people think of boundaries as being like a physical thing as if there's a chalk outline on the ground everywhere you go and if someone steps into it it makes you upset. The thing is the only one that knows the boundary is there is you.
Today is all about why boundaries are important, how to set them and how you know if someone's crossed the line.
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What's the difference between someone who has all the motivation and enthusiasm you could wish for and someone who, even though they don't have depression, still can't feel motivated? Well, in order to answer that I think it's worth looking at what motivation actually is.
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It's Friday 13th, so today I've got a bonus episode for you about the psychology of superstition.
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Your brain has a remarkable ability to filter and remember important experiences while discarding the less significant ones. It does so by comparing new experiences with past ones and using emotional reactions to determine their importance.
Let's look at how we can train it!
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