Hello Dysfunction
Childhood best friends, PataFria: a professional Dominatrix, mommy/grandma and overall jack of all trades, and Crystal: a die hard animal lover, mommy/wife, peacemaker and caregiver of MANY share hilariously dysfunctional stories from their personal lives. Navigating mental illness, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, views on current events, a little gossip, the dumpster fire of politics and so much more. “Nothing is off limits and everything is funny”
Episodes
September 4, 2025 • 145 mins
First day of school again, bathroom residents, Crystal has a wound and we’ll finally get some relief. Pat has a dad Crystal has a mom, Unknown Caller was wild, mental illness has it’s perks and Aunt Deb is running out of patience.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Mark as Played
August 27, 2025 • 103 mins
Don’t waste your bangs, escape rooms are fun, always shop with a list and cries without tears are a tell. Did we love a fraud? Men need to step it up, kids need grit and Crystal is losing her mind.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
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Instagra...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
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Follow us on IG:
Instagra...
Mark as Played
August 21, 2025 • 132 mins
Peez started kindergarten, Crystal had a relaxing birthday, perimenopause is killing us and sometimes you need to be a Karen. Common courtesy is dead, more extreme body mods, don't stiff nice servers or put out cigarettes on the windows.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction...
Mark as Played
August 14, 2025 • 158 mins
Happy Anniversary, Mexico was eventful, Crystal is not a traveler and Peez is a sour patch kid. Pat doesn’t own a mop, school is starting, no toilet services, and no more missionaries.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Instagram.com/hellody...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
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https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
Instagram.com/hellody...
Mark as Played
July 30, 2025 • 102 mins
Back on black cohosh, we have a new baby, this weekend was scary and we need a carpenter. Childhood photos, cannibal sandwiches, humans are still a disappointment and protect the geniuses.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Instagram.com/hel...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
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Follow us on IG:
Instagram.com/hel...
Mark as Played
July 23, 2025 • 126 mins
Crystal got her hair done and a new piercing, 4loko cans are a warning, thrift prices are disrespectful and Pat got some bad news. Don’t puke in the sink, avoid mud while on adventures, cops shouldn’t be hitting anyone and Peez is in love.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfuncti...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfuncti...
Mark as Played
July 16, 2025 • 141 mins
Things are getting better, Peez is hoarding, OCD just doesn’t make sense and farewell Great America. Crystal is still terrorizing Pat’s dreams, Trump didn’t get shot, uniqueness reigns supreme and there’s been a lot of crazy news.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Mark as Played
July 8, 2025 • 119 mins
Pat is playing referee, Sunday was a flop, Crystal has been writing and was asked to babysit. RIP Amanda, no more pets, random singing and our government lies in our face.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
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Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Mark as Played
July 2, 2025 • 99 mins
RIP Antonio, we’re sweaty, Pat’s back is broken and CA has some new laws. Don’t get fake abs, change your towels out, OCD sometimes promotes good habits and billionaires aren’t good people.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Mark as Played
June 26, 2025 • 124 mins
Weekend unboxing, Bunny’s birthday, a fire scare and old Italian tradition. A close call, don’t let your kids join the military, messy true crime and some people are only for a season.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
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Mark as Played
June 18, 2025 • 89 mins
RIP Uncle Jimmy, Father's Day was cute, is WW3 happening and is MAGA waking up? Some people don’t deserve fans, WWF wrestling was NUTS, the government is experimenting on our brains and we’re really out of shape.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Mark as Played
June 11, 2025 • 108 mins
Antique water heater for sale, Crystal did Zumba, Kaitlyn’s return and unicorn searches. Bloody boots, we’re really sweaty, new teeth option and FCK ICE.
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Mark as Played
June 4, 2025 • 135 mins
It’s 304 day, pride and men’s mental health awareness month! A busy weekend, Filipino karaoke and Crystal thinks she’s a poet. The boycotts aren’t over, don’t parasail alone and missing teeth can be hot.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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In...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
In...
Mark as Played
May 28, 2025 • 107 mins
Pat really likes her doctor, always kiss the judge’s a*s, root canals are bad for you and Peez is outta control. Comedy show update, tired of the credit score game, Crystal is still talking to strangers and irrational fears are crippling.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctio...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctio...
Mark as Played
May 21, 2025 • 128 mins
It’s Stevi and Pat’s birthday, mammograms aren’t that bad, Crystal gave herself a haircut and Pat is warming up to animals. Eat better for your health, is Annabelle causing chaos, parenting is sometimes self healing and bring back MTV.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Mark as Played
May 14, 2025 • 93 mins
Mother’s Day recap, Pat had a busy weekend, new possible beauty treatment and Crystal has an unwanted admirer. Miss Piggy was not ok, Pat is being set up, trust your kid’s intuition and family can get cut off too.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Follow us on I...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
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Follow us on I...
Mark as Played
May 8, 2025 • 84 mins
Avon is mysteriously at CVS, Pat is having some scary stuff, we have matching jewels and need to stop speaking things into existence. Crystal has been sad, always get the money FIRST, ghosts are active and there’s a new true crime show to binge.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodys...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodys...
Mark as Played
April 30, 2025 • 101 mins
Pat had another dream about Crystal, shopping with Carolyn is always fun, the impending doom of having something to do and sometimes our bodies are against us. Do you believe in reincarnation? The only cool thing about a Tesla, no white shoes and an update on piss over ice.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
...
Mark as Played
April 23, 2025 • 103 mins
Pat’s had a hard week, Mark is keeping secrets, doctors don’t know everything and we curl our twos. Elvis was carrying a child, chew your coconut oil, interesting medical devices and only fake moan for people you love.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
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Follow us...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us...
Mark as Played
April 16, 2025 • 111 mins
Crystal has lips, Pata Fria had a lonely weekend, Tahoe was turnt and merch is on the way. Surgery is coming up, Pata Fria wants an old school, catch our live streams on Patreon and Elephants are really amazing.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
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Follow us on IG:...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
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Follow us on IG:...
Mark as Played
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