Amityvilleville
If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Wow, I’d really love to listen to Reply All/Hyperfixed's Alex Goldman and former VICE culture writer Caroline Thompson absolutely lose their minds watching every Amityville movie ever made,” then boy do we have a podcast for you! On a cold November night in 1974, 23-year-old Ron DeFeo Jr. picked up a .35 caliber rifle and crept room to room in his lakeside family home in Amityville, New York. By dawn, his mother, father, and four younger siblings all lay cold and dead in their beds. Over the last half century, this gruesome family annihilation and the alleged paranormal haunting that followed have inspired the production of nearly 100 films in the Amityville Horror franchise. And Alex and Caroline are ready to watch them all. Welcome to Amityvilleville, a podcast dedicated to driving its hosts to the brink of insanity. Join Alex and Caroline as they make their way through the entire back catalog of this terrifying, campy, fly-filled series one week at a time. Produced by Tori Dominguez Peek
Episodes
SOMEONE GOT VAMPIRES IN MY AMITYVILLE. It doesn't make sense, and it doesn't matter! Nothing matters! Everything we do is meaningless! Watching these movies is meaningless! A guy talks about having to poop in this movie.
As of this recording, Amityville Harvest is available on the following streaming platforms:
This one is kinda like Practical Magic. And like Harry Potter. Alex hated it, Caroline liked it. Among the least offensive of the Amityville movies, but also among the most boring. We also talk about a trip we took to the Amityville house.
Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking
Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking
As of this recording, Witches of Amityville Academy is available on the following streaming services:
CONTENT WARNING THIS ONE IS NASTY
We have to bleach our eyes after watching this, and still it was far from the worst one we've seen. A gory porno with the unsexiest sex we've ever seen, Amityville Vibrator is about what happens when a director thinks they can be John Waters without any of the charm of John Waters.
Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking
Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking
As of this recording you can watch Amityville Vibrat...
3 Amityville projects for the price of one! This episode has NakedSword original Scared Stiff II: The Amityville Whore, the comedic short Amityville Witch Activity, and the baffling but mercifully short Amityville Cabin.
As of this recording, these movies are available on the following streaming services:
Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking
Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking
As of this recording, these movies are available on the follow...
(TW: discussion of sexual violence in this week's episode)
Mark Polonia is back, and he's answering the question: What if Amityville but on an island. There are possessed sharks and bears, zombies, nanobots, and enough dangling plot threads to knit a sweater.
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Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls hammers his family to death and then his daughter joins a convent and hangs out with Stacy Dash from Clueless. Also some other stuff happens, probably. This movie is boring, but at least Autumn's here
LINKS:
Autumn on instagram
Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking
Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking
As of this recording, The (Amityville) Dawn is avaible on the following streaming platforms:
Ooooooh boy, look at us! Amityvilleville is hitting the big time with Patrick Brice, the director of the Creep movies, the series The Creep Tapes, The Overnight, Corporate Animals and many more! Don't let the critics fool you, this movie gets some terrible reviews, but it is something completely unique in the Amityville canon: A mumblecore romantic-comedy Amityville movie! Join real-life husband and wife duo Charlie and Buzi (prono...
Hey! We're taking a week off just because our lives got so busy we couldn't watch the world's worst music. But we are very excited to be back at you next week with Amityville: Mt. Misery Road. You can watch it HERE. But why would you want to.
Hey! You like remakes? Well tough, because today we're watching The Amityville Murders with Josh Boerman of The Worst of All Possible Worlds and Ill Conceived podcasts, and it's basically just Amityville II with less incest. They even got two actors from Amityville II to show up for minor roles! Watch it. Or don't. That's kinda on you.
Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking
(AKA Against the Night) A bunch of teens go to a prison and end up in a slash movie. This one has nudity and aliens, but it doesn't have character development, or any real lighting for about 35 minutes. Never has an Amityville movie had so much promise just through its setup, and never has that promise been more squandered.
Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking
Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking
As of this writing, Amityville Priso...
We're 2 for 2 on absolute bangers. This the first major studio Amityville movie since the 2005 Ryan Reynolds remake, and it might actually be the best in the series so far? At least according to Alex and Caroline? Thankfully we have Will Rogers, co-host of the Guide to the Unknown podcast to talk sense. Belle's comatose brother James becomes the vessel for something sinister, and a lot of spooky stuff happens, and there's some good...
🚨BANGER ALERT🚨This week on AVV, Caleb and Juniper from the Kill the Computer Podcast join us as we get a much needed respite from the absolute trash we've been watching. This movie has pretty much everything you could want from an Amityville movie -- ghosts, ghouls, zombies, aliens, killers, weed, men in drag, comedy, awkward sexy talk, MS Paint special effects, stock sound effects, mannequins getting their heads cut off, and act...
From the creators of Amityville Toybox comes a new movie that is about 30% comprised of reused footage from Amityville Toybox! Join us and special guest Matt Farley as we encounter a new nadir in the already struggling Amityville franchise.
Don't forget to listen to Matt Farley's music and watch his movies!
Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking
Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking
As of this recording, you can stream Amityville Clow...
It's holy war at the Dukane house as some haunted lumber turns mild mannered Amy into a goo spitting demon! Will she pose seductively in the forest for a creep? Will her alcoholic dad believe the priest sent their to warn him? Will anything happen in this movie? Who knows! Who cares! ALSO VERY IMPORTANT UPDATES ON THE ERIC ROBERTS SITUATION.
As of this writing, Amityville Exorcism is available free on the following streaming platfor...
This week a bunch of people end up in Blair Witch in 2016 and a lady ends up in Paranormal Activity in 1997, and the two plots kinda talk to one another? Will they escape? Well, the answer's right there in the title. The movie is whatever, this week's episode is all about the chattin'.
As of this recording, Amityville: No Escape is not available on any streaming services due to the director trying to find a new distributor (I ...
Is the Conjuring 2 an Amityville movie? Some (Caroline) might argue it is, because the first 15 minutes or whatever take place inside the Amityville Horror Home itself. Alex’s old friend, noted vampyr hunter and mortal enemy of the Lutz family Dr. Stephen Kaplan even shows up in a speaking role!! So yeah It’s an Amityville movie, and we’re watching it because if we don’t take a break from the post remake ind...
Join Julia, Jennii, Jeanne, Jade, Brittany, Breana, and a rest of the Jansen family as they do nothing for 70 minutes and mostly die offscreen. Thrill to the exploits of the sex shaming senile granny, behold the spookiness of the color gels they use on the lights, and fear the haunted monkey that doesn't seem to do much of anything.
Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking
Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking
As of this writing, Amityville To...
An interview with Paul (Duck) Tucker and Jeff Van Gerwen the creators of the 88th Amityville movie, Amityvillenado! We talk about the making of the movie and their relationship to the franchise. A wonderful time was had by all! Check out their movie and their podcast.
You can find Amityvillenado on the following streaming services:
This is another horny one, folks. An unsuspecting family moves into the "Amity House" and finds more than they bargained for. What did they find? You know, the usual stuff, possession, incest, etc etc. Join daughter Jessica as she pisses and moans about everything and carries around a crossbow while she tries to uncover the house's terrifying secret. And join us as we are like "wtf."
🚨AMAZING MOVIE ALERT🚨
Join us as we watch Bermuda and Brigitta and Sentinel as they navigate the death of their friend Margaret. A belly dancer dances backward to punk rock, an FBI agent ****** on some baseball cards, Lloyd Kaufman shows up to dispense some esoteric wisdom. Do we have any idea what we're watching? Not really. Did we enjoy it immensely? Oh, you know it.
Content warning: even by the standards of this show, this...
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