How To!
You’ve got questions. Together, we get answers. We all need advice, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to turn. Each week, Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace bring a listener on to the show to solve their toughest problems with the help of world-class experts. It’s free therapy, and you’re invited. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.
Episodes
October 14, 2025 • 47 mins
Contemporary women are primal-screaming and hitting rage rooms, but are these really the solutions to our personal and political anger? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin talks with Soraya Chemaly, journalist and author of Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger, about her own recent upsurge of anger. Soraya explains how to identify, understand, and harness what’s bottled up inside you—and use it for change.
If you l...
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October 7, 2025 • 40 mins
Jen is raising a pretty stellar 9-year-old son. With his tween and teen years on the horizon, she wants to steer him toward kindness, acceptance, and openness—and away from the pitfalls of toxic masculinity. On this episode, How To!’s Carvell Wallace brings on Ashanti Branch, founder of The Ever Forward Club and host of unMASKing with Male Educators. Ashanti offers his advice on talking with boys about their emotions, understanding...
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September 30, 2025 • 41 mins
After seven years of trying to conceive, Lauren is ending fertility treatments and starting a new journey: adoption. She’s excited about this unexpected detour into parenthood—but she’s also grieving the loss of something deeply personal that she desired for so long. On this episode: How To!’s Courtney Martin brings on Ada Limón, author of the new book Startlement and the current U.S. poet laureate. Ada offers Lauren guidance on fi...
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September 23, 2025 • 45 mins
In this mailbag episode of How To!, we get an update from Elizabeth, the 43-year-old listener who contacted us for advice on her plan to have sex for the first time. Then, co-hosts Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace get listeners’ takes on our most talked-about episodes of the year—and the staff holds an impromptu idea meeting for upcoming episodes.
Links Mentioned:
My Old Books
Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send u...
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September 16, 2025 • 54 mins
Much of our common understanding of hypnosis has been gleaned from mind-control plots in Hollywood movies or hokey on-stage demonstrations. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Stanford University psychiatrist and researcher Dr. David Spiegel to talk about what hypnosis is (and isn’t), as well as its potential to address stress, pain, and even athletic performance. Plus, with Carvell wrestling with an ongoing major...
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September 9, 2025 • 39 mins
Alice has an objectively cool job. She programs film festivals and gets to watch documentaries for a living. But that living is also stressful: It’s low-paying, seasonal work that provides some status, sure, but not much stability. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on atheist chaplain and author Vanessa Zoltan, who spent two years helping countless people decide whether to quit (or not) on her podcast The Real Ques...
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September 2, 2025 • 42 mins
Krystina used to host gatherings all the time. Then came kids and the pandemic, and the parties ground to a halt. She’s feeling a renewed urge to bring people together—specifically her inspiring, badass female friends—but every time she starts to plan something meaningful, she balks. On this episode: How To!’s Courtney Martin connects Krystina with Katherine Goldstein of the Substack and podcast The Double Shift. Katherine shares w...
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August 26, 2025 • 30 mins
When Kelly volunteered to be the head coach for his son’s baseball team, he was nervous. He had no formal training, but he knew he wanted his players to have equal playing time—and have fun. Which they did, until the yelling started and the season ended in a stunning loss (and quite a few tears). What can Kelly do better next season? In this encore episode of How To! from 2021, Amanda Ripley connects Kelly with Doug Lemov, author o...
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August 19, 2025 • 36 mins
Safiya is one clumsy coffee spill away from catastrophe. A Gen Xer who hasn’t yet embraced the cloud, she stores thousands of digital files, documents, and photos on devices with maxed-out storage limits. On today’s episode, Carvell Wallace brings on Caitlin McGarry, senior editor at Wirecutter. Caitlin talks with Safiya about practical ways to delete and organize—and how we can all build healthier habits in our digital lives.
Re...
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August 12, 2025 • 42 mins
Sarah loves her in-laws, even though their politics send her running for the exits. Now, her daughter is starting to ask questions about her grandparents’ patriarchal, conservative views. How can Sarah raise her kid to be self-assured, justice-oriented, and open-minded—without spoiling the connection between her in-laws and the grandchild they adore? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Melinda Wenner Moyer, scienc...
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August 5, 2025 • 47 mins
Jessi navigates life with ADHD using a complex web of coping strategies. She used to strive for absolute perfection, but feels overwhelming guilt when she forgets something or loses focus at work or at home. On this episode, How To! co-host Carvell Wallace introduces Jessi to Dr. Sarah Wheeler, an educational psychologist who specializes in ADHD. Dr. Wheeler shares her own experience with ADHD and helps Jessi chart a sustainable pa...
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July 29, 2025 • 47 mins
Psssst. You didn’t hear this from me, but gossiping—can be good for you! Our series on embracing your inner antihero wraps—for now—with a guilty pleasure: gossiping. Normal Gossip host (and beloved former Slatester) Rachelle Hampton sits down with How To!’s Carvell Wallace to dish on the right way to gossip, the link between whisper networks and safety, and the importance of leaving no receipts.
This conversation concludes—for no...
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July 22, 2025 • 41 mins
Our series on embracing your inner antihero continues with a look at superheroes who definitely don’t wear capes: ethical haters. Slate culture writer Scaachi Koul sits down with How To!’s Carvell Wallace for a conversation about the power of haterade—and why “hating up” distinguishes ethical haters from run-of-the-mill, establishment negativity.
Links Mentioned:
Sucker Punch by Scaachi Koul
Scaachi’s Substack, Hater Nation
Ba...
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July 15, 2025 • 40 mins
Jordan is mired in a bitter war over off-leash pups at an unofficial dog park. With pro-leash forces deploying fake signage, ambush videos, and questionable zip-tie tactics in a campaign of shame aimed at her fellow dog owners, Jordan is ready to take matters into her own hands. In this first installment of How To’s guide to becoming an antihero, Courtney Martin brings on writer, storyteller, and comedian Matthew Dicks to counsel J...
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July 8, 2025 • 41 mins
Kate is juggling a lot: work, kids, caregiving for an elder, a dance troupe, the PTA, community organizing. Oh, and she runs a ‘90s-themed DJ night, too. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks and Meditations for Mortals, to talk with Kate about how to stop doing everything all the time.
If you liked this episode check out: How To Manage Your Precious Time
Do you have ...
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July 1, 2025 • 38 mins
Kate stopped reading in 2016. Since then, she’s tried to find her way back to it but something’s not clicking, and it’s left a book-shaped hole in her heart. Reading used to be something she really enjoyed, took pride in, and loved connecting with people over. On this episode of How To!, co-host Carvell Wallace brings in Maryanne Wolf, director of UCLA’s Center For Dyslexia, Diverse Learners, and Social Justice and author of the ...
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June 24, 2025 • 38 mins
Mary is juggling a busy career and family life and, like many of us, she feels guilty about the time she spends on her phone. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin talks with author and teacher Molly Caro May about how she’s helping others rethink—and rewire—their dependency on devices with an approach that’s focused on the mind-body connection.
If you liked this episode, check out How To Manage Your Kids’ Screen Time.
Do ...
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June 17, 2025 • 38 mins
Drawing isn’t just child’s play. It’s a shortcut to joy, presence, and connection—all things we could use a lot more of these days. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on artist, graphic journalist, and founder of DrawTogether Wendy MacNaughton to explain how everyone at the grown-ups table can start drawing, too.
Courtney’s blind contour drawing
If you liked this episode check out: How To Be an Artist and Not Star...
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June 10, 2025 • 37 mins
Mavi was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis more than 15 years ago. Since then, she’s managed her symptoms and myriad life changes—but the past several months have been dominated by intense, chronic pain. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Toni Bernhard, author of How to Be Sick and How to Live Well With Chronic Pain and Illness, to talk with Mavi about making peace with this new normal.
If you liked this episode...
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June 3, 2025 • 38 mins
Jennifer is about to send her oldest child off to college in the fall—and her kid isn’t the only one who’s anxious about the transition. On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace and Jennifer talk with Christine Self, director of parent and family relations at Texas Tech University, about navigating a huge change, making the most of campus visits, talking about alcohol, and how much access you actually need to your kid’s lif...
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