Retrograde Amnesia: Comprehensive JRPG Retrospective

Do we care about the fate of the world? Hell no. We're only concerned with exploring the wasteland of the mind, imbibing the sweet nectar of the woman kind, conquering our greatest fears (again), escaping the maze of our wretched inner-selves, living in the body of a goddess, running out of unlimited time, correcting god, beholding the power of salvation, suffering a promo endurance round, perceiving decadence, rebuffing everyone a...

Even if you wanted to make this a twist, there's nowhere to twist. Before we twist it off, we're revealing the secret true identity of Laike, speaking of plot elements specifically, giving it a yank, turning into a dragon, realizing the Grindery is a Frontier machine, once again imagining a more socially conscious game, consuming sleep medication, debating the ideal final dungeon, leaving our fate in our hands, wishing Nash would b...

Nothing can justify what he has done. Nothing except us reacting incorrectly, marrying a child, debating Ghaleon's power, exhibiting egregious Mega Man 4 opinions, decoding sunscreen, obeying out of fear and not respect, rescuing a puppy, giving up the drink, realizing Nash deserves nothing, joining in the madness, favoring self determination, referencing "new types," streaming romantic rhetoric, killing god, trapping everyone in t...

Hey kids, weird day, huh? Days like this include human men delivering victory lines, jerking off after the massage, hacking through romance with a machete, losing the cut-scene, ditching the Vader outer wear, failing to keep up with the lore, forming the N.W.O., retiring the Dragon Master gear, sleeping for three days, distinguishing pudding from a smoothie, recognizing Negative Attitude Man, suspecting Eternal Blue is much better,...

Has anyone told you that you're gorgeous? It's true, as obvious as when we're rolling a turd, suffering a pincer attack, wishing there were anime in an anime moment, yanking off nipples, adapting dragon technology, vowing to stop a cretin, stumbling into a fairy garden, chafing at a wicked manner, laying off the goblin workforce, shopping at Home Depot, peeling back Chris' Secret Garden meta layer, searching for the new Golgotha, a...

What kind of hero are you if you can't protect my balloons? Apparently the kind that likes suppressing emotion, drunken-smacking monsters, witnessing a death plunge, wondering where home is, making wings out of fluffy bugs, committing a modern hate crime, spiraling through Paxton/Pullman delirium, losing the power to firm and tone, moving into an empty house, corrupting another save file, using magic to remove clothing, droppin' di...

This is not the time to get freaky. Ears can't even do that, but they can hear us resting in a slumber of our design, witnessing a world history event, birthing the Grindery, thinking of the Death Star workers, combining steam with magic, yearning for the True Power of Vane, using a super move reluctantly, testing the limits of forgiveness, working hands to the nape of her neck, making an important decision, suspecting there was go...

This is not a place of contention. It's a place of listening, and learning while we're removing the lesbians, damseling workers, assuring the quality of our plumbing, destroying a different black dragon, growing dirt guys, talking to eggs, waiting for a heel to turn face, requiring god juice to live, seeking Althena's light, understanding the goblin plight, finding the soul of the ethos in NPCs, producing steam rubies, killing an e...

What's up pixel perverts? Today we're blighting the surface for undesirables, rapidly switching discs, realizing the guards can hit, scraping metal out of the dirt, locating the only doctor in the world, experiencing goblin poetry, refusing to serve drinks to miners, dreaming of D Block, goofing into a slur, beating the prisoners, staring down a moral choice, changing hearts and minds, rushing the goblin narrative, playing with pis...

You're prisoners of foolish ambition. You're consumers of the pod, an episode in which we're smelling so sweetly, waiting for Kyle to say it, finally realizing what we should have known, using ass-beating thoughts as a coping mechanism, fighting out of duty, living in the present, becoming a character, deploying a maximally appropriate sound effect, executing the double betrayal, leering at a bromide, refusing to pay for our own en...

Mutant League Football and Mutant League Hockey were convergence points across gross out children's toys, gratuitous video game violence, and those who dared to dream up sports games for kids who weren't especially interested in sports. But is it bad when the toilet produces more than it consumes? Eric thought about this for the last five months. It's the fourth episode of Infinite Perfect.

00:00:00 Violence 
00:04:31 Football
00:0...

I wanna see some skull. Down in that bone zone, we're coming up with magic city protection spells, wearing villain attire, contemplating infinity, making mother look so afraid, seeking the emasculation of self, crying in baby poop, dropping trou, becoming an honorary citizen of Lann, wearing an everybody magnet, loving Whitney Houston, building machines to travel underwater, talking to everyone everywhere, beautifying our bodies, a...

Shut your sass hole, buddy. From our sass holes we bequeath denying god's light from the Frontier, showing off our new clothes to everyone in the world, learning more about Alex's Dad's Son's Sister Girlfriend, failing to show love in action, doing weird shit with butter and rubber bands, foreshadowing Nash via doomerism, continuing the denture saga, discussing tortoise turds, telling the same stories over and over, forgetting ever...

What man who desires to be a hero would let that happen? Us, obviously. We're bleeding out of the neck, dealing with Not My First Mind Control, tempting in the desert, saying Alex and Luna over and over, screaming into Dragon Master gear (in anime), wearing an invisible sprite hat, indulging in dragon controller irony, supposing dragons are real, consuming squid guts pasta, realizing Laike has a back-up Boy of Destiny, fantasy-prod...

Graveyard duck, give me the bag. Inside of this bag you can find us feeling the magic, repeatedly getting lost in the forest, spriting a tree differently, receiving PSP-exclusive Nash backstory, dreaming bloody murder, parting bushes like the red sea, debating the existence of god with children, learning of the nomadic lifestyle, spreading disease, stacking up powerful rugs, violating gift customs, passing out, deleting a joke abou...

The time is at hand to prove the worth of your way. We'll do that by wishing Laike was plausibly nerfed, fearing a bad lore tower, navigating pipes and catwalks, throwing shit out of a magic hat, playing fart sounds, bullying our way into a second airship, buzzing around like a turd-sick gnat, yanking on a face, foreshadowing a betrayal, enforcing the law of the west, engaging in a warrior challenge, replacing a necklace with a man...

No place is safe these days. Not even a podcast, unless we're attempting to define a dragon's lair, animating Phacia's sprite, realizing the bad guys want to kill god, crying at the amusement park, disappointing father, impressing mother, living in the cave forever, taking a dirt nap, threatening a corpse stomp, launching surprise arrows, stonewalling the NPCs, making out with our boyfriend, selling snake oil, talking to horses, wi...

Is there a reason for these kinds of guys? Podcasters? Guys who are correcting a your/you're situation, reminding teenagers of their mortality, speculating the origin of hole floor dungeons, banging blowing and flicking, eliminating drag references, actually fixing a town, poking dead monsters with a stick, singing songs between two lovers, teleporting to the technodrome, wondering what variety of human god became, breaking the cyc...

I'm so hot to trot right now. Stay cool while we're entering a spinning picture cut-scene, falling out of the sky, stealing crashed balloon parts, disregarding mortality, beating perverted slime balls, attempting a ritual, shitting on a tradesman, regretting the fool mirror purchase, choosing bow or cane, producing kindergartener music, simulating the rocking of mother, corrupting a song with monsters, blowing chunks, dreaming of a...