Retrograde Amnesia: Comprehensive JRPG Retrospective

We're ex-convicts, no one will marry us now. We're doomed to a life of observing the need to fix bridges, inhabiting a dead town, fearing dentist technology, bowling alone, refusing to trust the neighbors, Wet Banditing our own house, vomiting all over the wall, observing a fluid town, stealing husband's secret savings, losing a lot in translation, interpreting a poster, panty-raiding ourselves, sneaking out of an inn, refusing to ...

What on earth are you, and what is this place? To figure that out, we're doing it in the Birth Valley, re-entering the Techno Drome, expanding Chris' vocabulary, touring the Porsche factory, mixing monsters with machines, creating a bioactive environment, enjoying the Professor Holt bit, referencing Nei, citing sexy lady anime, determining the cat girl origin point, upsetting mother nature, stacking computers, breeding harmful mons...

Somehow the body has become lighter. With your new carbon fiber ears, listen to us fading white, hiding Grandfather in the back, favoring the monger, reading lady numbers, deploying a custom animation, separating charge and information, making dirt wet for too long, accepting a Motavian party member, resolving the stone mustache, separating tears from sweat, violating a sacred area, knowing our limitations, and wearing sweat pants ...

What a pig this dog is! Before experiencing canine pork, we're finding Krup stuck in our teeth, lying about our academic career, telling people where I hurt myself today, spreading religion, leaving the cabinets open, embracing orange soda genericism, disinheriting a son, harnessing the power of CRBN, teaching kids in the home, figuring out if we're using magic, shooting meat ropes, banishing the natives to one town, sitting lost i...

Well, Chaz, your brain seems to work a little bit. At least enough to listen as we're speaking with the beardy-guy-vestman, swallowing a town with quicksand, adding morality to terraforming, pounding Zima, performing a community raking service, experimenting with macros, stoning everyone in town, refusing to help orphaned children, discussing mustache petrification logistics, grifting Hahn, comically tugging our collars at the sigh...

This monster business is no mystery after all. As we uncover the secrets, we're wondering if manga can be in color, installing headquarters in the basement, dropping multiple fishies, fingering to win, sweating to lose, producing the Venn diagram of veins and ticklers, conducting numerous brain activities, breeding monsters in the basement, teleporting before your eyes, hiding the basement situation, connecting the parcel to the mo...

I've always wanted to go to a Town of Learning, so we can learn to make a podcast of listening. We're talking about throwing away a cake, tolling the bell, fearing The Computer, Chaz'ing a Rudy, erecting character sprites, rendering a world beyond the Genesis, locking up books, flipping through options, buzzing off, measuring the dew point, learning Chris' biggest scholastic achievement, falling victim to a strange religion, settin...

On the second episode of our Phantasy Star IV background info, we're watching commercials in Japanese, realizing "cels" and "panels" are not interchangeable, looking at print ads, riding for Rick, revealing the dark phallus, appreciating the work of Boris Vallejo, speaking perfect french, traveling beyond history, citing The Cutting Room Floor, pacifying fans, filling batchin' samples, sleeping walking with thumbs, declaring Earthw...

Hello and welcome to the first episode of our eighth season! We're covering Phantasy Star IV: The End of the Millennium for the next 25-to-70 weeks. On this two-parter of an intro episode, we're peeling the skin off the Fake Net, buying children a $212 videogame, charging more money for more megabits, realizing the Mega Drive was online in 1990, de-making to the NES, creating a million ports, overthinking world details, not just pl...

The game is over but the game is not over. One our final episode for season seven, we're smelling the ocean on the breeze, losing all MP, putting faith in our strength, spending our brains out, affirming Ghaleon's insanity, declaring Jessica Day, requesting an adult, creating an open door policy, realizing Luna has no idea what the hell Ghaleon was trying to do, starting Jessica's domestic education, causing weird vibes, engaging i...

I am disgraced yet again. Season seven continues with us listening to a death rattle, making sure the Ocarina is in Alex's pocket, assigning jealousy as a motive, dumbing ourselves down for women, desecrating her sanctum, fighting for the ones we love, getting a little action, wishing for stronger hints, realizing girlfriend might be a bomb, confirming girlfriend must stay god, winning with the power of idealism, telling a lady tha...

Do we care about the fate of the world? Hell no. We're only concerned with exploring the wasteland of the mind, imbibing the sweet nectar of the woman kind, conquering our greatest fears (again), escaping the maze of our wretched inner-selves, living in the body of a goddess, running out of unlimited time, correcting god, beholding the power of salvation, suffering a promo endurance round, perceiving decadence, rebuffing everyone a...

Even if you wanted to make this a twist, there's nowhere to twist. Before we twist it off, we're revealing the secret true identity of Laike, speaking of plot elements specifically, giving it a yank, turning into a dragon, realizing the Grindery is a Frontier machine, once again imagining a more socially conscious game, consuming sleep medication, debating the ideal final dungeon, leaving our fate in our hands, wishing Nash would b...

Nothing can justify what he has done. Nothing except us reacting incorrectly, marrying a child, debating Ghaleon's power, exhibiting egregious Mega Man 4 opinions, decoding sunscreen, obeying out of fear and not respect, rescuing a puppy, giving up the drink, realizing Nash deserves nothing, joining in the madness, favoring self determination, referencing "new types," streaming romantic rhetoric, killing god, trapping everyone in t...

Hey kids, weird day, huh? Days like this include human men delivering victory lines, jerking off after the massage, hacking through romance with a machete, losing the cut-scene, ditching the Vader outer wear, failing to keep up with the lore, forming the N.W.O., retiring the Dragon Master gear, sleeping for three days, distinguishing pudding from a smoothie, recognizing Negative Attitude Man, suspecting Eternal Blue is much better,...

Has anyone told you that you're gorgeous? It's true, as obvious as when we're rolling a turd, suffering a pincer attack, wishing there were anime in an anime moment, yanking off nipples, adapting dragon technology, vowing to stop a cretin, stumbling into a fairy garden, chafing at a wicked manner, laying off the goblin workforce, shopping at Home Depot, peeling back Chris' Secret Garden meta layer, searching for the new Golgotha, a...

What kind of hero are you if you can't protect my balloons? Apparently the kind that likes suppressing emotion, drunken-smacking monsters, witnessing a death plunge, wondering where home is, making wings out of fluffy bugs, committing a modern hate crime, spiraling through Paxton/Pullman delirium, losing the power to firm and tone, moving into an empty house, corrupting another save file, using magic to remove clothing, droppin' di...

This is not the time to get freaky. Ears can't even do that, but they can hear us resting in a slumber of our design, witnessing a world history event, birthing the Grindery, thinking of the Death Star workers, combining steam with magic, yearning for the True Power of Vane, using a super move reluctantly, testing the limits of forgiveness, working hands to the nape of her neck, making an important decision, suspecting there was go...

This is not a place of contention. It's a place of listening, and learning while we're removing the lesbians, damseling workers, assuring the quality of our plumbing, destroying a different black dragon, growing dirt guys, talking to eggs, waiting for a heel to turn face, requiring god juice to live, seeking Althena's light, understanding the goblin plight, finding the soul of the ethos in NPCs, producing steam rubies, killing an e...