Elis James and John Robins

If there was an award given out for the ‘Most Tense Moment in the Final Round of a Game Made Up by a Listener’, then this show would win it. Fresh from their triumph at the British Podcast Awards, Elis and John look to add another trophy to the cabinet by creating a moment so contentious and dramatic that it requires the use of VAR; Voice Assisted Referee.

Away from the Made Up Game hijinks there’s week-late-Ryder Cup chat, a revel...

It’s 3 croaky voices in the studio today because Elis and Dave have Oasised once again, and poor old John is unwell. Luckily that means a general vibe alignment is struck, but, crucially, the standards do not slip. For Elis and Dave both have tales of struggling to get out of Wembley, and John wonders which of his awards would be best suited to beating off an intruder.

The other overriding question of the day is would you rather vis...

Having conquered the earthly plane, Elis and John are taking to the skies. Can they become the first podcast to be recorded entirely in space? Or will the anecdote well run dry too quickly?

Back down on Earth there’s a debut trip to Birch Services for Johnny JR, Elis is positively giddy after the pair run round the natural sights of Llandudno, and we hear one of the greatest shame-inducing lines in a cracking Shame Well entry.

Oh, an...

It’s a huge episode for loving Britain, but more importantly it’s a huge episode for cagoules. This is the UK’s number 1 cagoule podcast, and a very special guest has got Elis barking like a waterproof dog in heat.

If you’re anti-outer layers then this is not the place to be.

It’s slightly lighter ground on the anecdote front as John has just written down ‘Autumn’ and Elis can’t even handle drinking two pints. A loss for James but th...

In a life full of achievements John may have finally topped the lot. In his 5 year battle with the word game that most people stopped playing a few years ago, John has finally come out victorious. Yes, he’s Wordled in one. It’s a big day. But the main question is, did it make him happy?

There’s another chapter of Elis and John’s Road To Nowhere, in which the boys are forced to think on their feet and attempt to avert disaster. The q...

473 episodes in and there is still room to excavate the vast intricacies that make up the Pompeii dig of John Robins’ mind. Grab your JCB because there’s a dump truck’s worth to uncover off the back of the latest adventures from the Sad Van. And it all boils down to one thing, as the hotels John’s willing to stay in simply say so much about the man.

A generic hotel brand is the vessel through which we can get to know him.

Does John a...

Move over Oxford Union, debating has a new home! As Elis and John towers has turned into a hotbed of discourse and deliberation. The big topics are given the respect they deserve and the order of service for today is as follows: What’s the saddest song ever written? Hotels: budget or bespoke? And finally, are baths rubbish?

Aside from heated arguments about the temperature of bath water, Elis and John continue their travels around t...

What starts off as a huge day for John (book deadline day) turns into a massive (massive it is) day for poor old Dave.

As the saying goes: ‘The best laid plans of podcast producers often go awry’, and Dave’s idea for the team to record remotely gets derailed quite spectacularly by a faulty alarm system. Brace yourselves for the most stressed you will probably ever hear one of the UK’s most unflappable men.

Back to John, and he tells ...

The boys have been busy bees recently and the show’s in danger of turning into a Michael Palin travelogue. Elis has returned from France and regales us with stories of visits to ex-military factories, intense chats with German families and Isy’s attempts at speaking French.

Then it’s time for the first instalment of Elis and John’s Road to Nowhere, where your favourite podcast hosts drive around the country for no apparent reason ot...

The boys are fresh from driving around the country for charity with Ian Botham, which of course means Elis is exhausted and tour newbie Dave is absolutely fine.

And there’s more bad news for Mr James as the Elis vote is being split in the Listeners’ Choice vote at the British Podcast Awards. He’s going to get pilloried by one co-host or maybe both. But given that John is more likely to lacerate Elis than Bubbins, place your vote in ...

The ripples of last week’s Elis James mega-rant are still being felt right across the BBC, and despite vowing to ignore the call to pen John’s obituary, Elis has rowed back and done just that. Brace yourself for some emotional heft and candid commentary on John’s propensity for darts at university.

But John’s made of sterner stuff these days and recovered to reveal the sighting of a certain car has left him shocked to his very core....

There’s a surprise in the offing for John. Not that that’s a surprise to him. Nothing gets past old Sherlock Robins. Especially Producer Dave positioning a phone on a table at a very slight angle.

But said surprise leads to some incredible finds about Johnny JR which leave Elis and Dave’s jaws on the floor. This was not what had been intended. Elsewhere John has an out of body experience reflecting on the fact that there’s an entire...

Today’s episode is filled with the big questions of our age. These are the things that government top brass are pouring over day in, day out: Is Martin Lewis up there with Galileo and Mozart? Can you put goodwill on your shelf? And most divisively, is wee ever fine in a paddling pool?

It’s a show that asks questions rather than answers them, and you the you the listener are left to make up your own minds on these contentious issues.

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Elis made a bad decision the other day. And if you had a million guesses as to what that decision was then you won’t even get close, even when given the clue "Welsh culture". He's insistent it isn’t the outcome he wanted but John and Dave aren’t sure they believe him.

Quite frankly it’s one of the most baffling conversations ever had on this show.

Aside from regrettable choices there’s a potassium-rich Mad Dad that breaks new money m...

Memory lane is today's destination of choice, as John dons his rose-tinted glasses to reminisce about the time 'an arrangement was made' for him to return to his secondary school to assist in its production of Guys and Dolls. Was he officially invited back? Did John simply turn up because he had nothing else on? We're still not entirely sure, but this proud Assistant Director is giving back in a cool way, and that's all that matter...

There’s huge news in the rural Bucks area as the Trifecta of Value begins to take shape - pending planning application rulings. It’s one of many wins for John, but the spectre of the biggest loss in many a year hangs over him. But he is unwilling to reveal it in his losses column. Someone should have cottoned on to this sly behaviour by now.

Away from the Ls and the Ws we go all Gallic in chatting to the wonderful Celya AB, and John...

John’s been chained to a typewriter diarising his life experiences, and he's so confident about his memoir that he’s written “this is a good book” in Bic on its cover. Something all the great authors do, and he clearly has confidence in his witty emotionally hefty prose.

But anyway, in this chapter of the Elis James and John Robins show we’re whisked to the sunny shores of the Iberian peninsula, because Dave has a Made Up Game that ...

We start in the anecdote Wild West. Specifically it was wild [north] west London for Elis as he’s been to Oasis in credibility damaging seats. The best seats in the house, surrounded by some of the most famous people in the country. He *could* have asked for General Admission. But he didn’t and that suggestion is shoved up the tunnel of anguish.

City backline Akanji, Dias and Gvardiol were all with him and all saw him in tears. Inci...

It’s a lament time of year. It’s an Edinburgh time of year. A time when John yearns for the crippling comedic examination which is the Edinburgh Festival. For he cannot experience that emotional rollercoaster this year. He can’t sit on a stage and call himself a C*** after someone shouts “have you had a ploughman’s” during the most emotionally hefty part of his show.

Thankfully Elis’s wedding DJ, Nish Kumar, is on hand to bring desp...