Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain
This is our Real Life, in Real Spain. I was the Radio Producer that threw JK Rowlings first book in the bin after she offered to sign it for me, even though I had been rude to her, called her "Dear" and made her call herself Joanne - I mean who has ever heard of JK? I was the Radio Producer that laughed in Jeff Bezos face when he told me that his stupidly named new company "Amazon would be bigger than W.H. SMITH" I was the Radio Producer that sacked Richard Hammond because he didn't know enough about cars, although I didn't have the balls to say it to his face, so made the Host of the show do it for me! This is our Real Life in Real Spain.
Episodes
Transcript:
Day 98 The End?
Sunday and the Alarma is over, Lockdown is unlocked, 99 days, it started on Saturday March 14th, but actually I consider that weekend to be the two phoney days of Lockdown.
Saturday 14th March was a pretty normal day, the supermarket rammed with people taking everything off the shelves, including the toilet paper, something that the Spanish do not a use a lot of, most prefer to wash in the bidet than s...
Full transcript:
Day 97 Of mousy women and men
Saturday the weather is calm, the sun is shining, I have been doing some extreme weeding on the mountainside and managed to not fall down, the one time I did I thought it was best to relax and just let my body slide to a bit where I could cling on. Our garden in Essex did not have the same extreme challenges, unless you count the incredible numbers of snails that ate their way through...
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Day 96 Tim Tams
Friday and the I made a terrible mistake today, I try very hard now to avoid the TV news from the UK, we have enough to occupy ourselves here with events in Spain.
I caught a picture of Headmaster Boris holding a packet of Tim Tams up, from what I understand following a new trade deal with Australia you will get tuppence off this less than delicious biscuit from Australia and the trade deal will...
Transcript:
Day 95 Bonfire night
Thursday and now just a few days before everything un locks, the end of the Alarma and the new normal will start on Monday, many Spanish can go back to work and get the working week off to.. er, well er, a two day start, because next Wednesday “we are having a Fiesta”
The Fiesta of San Juan to be precise, the beginning of summer and those long summer holidays, after all we have all been working ...
Transcript:
Day 94 Assassination
Wednesday and the excitement cannot be contained, I am going shopping with Chris, well to be honest he doesn’t want me in the first shop, - Mercadona, he tells me he has a routine now and that doesn’t include me putting unsuitable items in the shopping trolley.
Never mind I am going to the Post Office instead, to pick up a parcel, the Post Office is only open between 8.30am and 2.30pm, the local ...
Transcript uncorrected:
Day 93 Anyone for tennis?
Tuesday and we are battening down the hatches, the wind is returning again with a vengeance, so far, the summer here has not really happened. Today it is overcast and sticky humid.
Our Gym has opened, and we went last night, OK so it is not the normal evening busy, but there were people and Chris’ class was about half the normal number. What was encouraging was the queue to joi...
Transcript (uncorrected)
Day 92 Dance off
Monday has come, I usually dread Monday as it always brings administration stuff which I really don’t care for.
By the way if you want to catch all 92 episodes with transcripts of Spanish Practices head over to THE secret spain dot com.
Today the administration was our Spanish Tax return, I say our, as we are married it has been done jointly, I get the classification of Woman, the for...
Transcript (uncorrected)
Day 91
Sunday and Uncle Pedro has been doing his weekly Zoom meeting, he likes to surprise the regional Governments, just to remind them all he is the one in charge.
So he has brought forward the date when Spain will open its borders to everyone except Portugal, so on Monday 22nd June the Lockdown will be over, for now and so will this Podcast, I still have the story to tell about one of the stupidest t...
Transcript here:
Day 90 holiday from hell
Saturday your Sunday and the Spanish Government has started to talk about how they envisage foreign visitors coming to the country, the first lot will turn up on Monday, they are Germans coming to the Balearic Islands.
Interestingly about 35,000 people travelled to Spain in May, whilst not holidaymakers, they were mainly people returning back to Spain for work or back to their residency.
...
Full Transcript:
Day 89 Fag End
Friday and we are off to the Administrator to sell our old car to Carmen, what could possibly go wrong, find out later in this episode.
If you want to catch up on previous episodes and full transcripts, go to the secret Spain dot com
Today I have been thinking about Satan’s smoke. A great many people in Spain seem to smoke, I remember we had to pick up a parcel from a UPS pick up point that turne...
Thursday and the wind is blowing and driving us mad, a new Spanish law on plastic waste might change the way we use single use plastic and three good legs cat gets a scare, oh and something in Spain that has taken longer to build than the pyramids and still isn't finished.
Find out more https://www.thesecretspain.com
Listen on the radio in London, Surrey and Machester here:
https://www.thepodcastradio.co.uk/
Day 88 Plastic not fant...
Today the embarrassment of explaining Fawlty Towers to my Spanish friends, an internet outage, and the end of central Government control in Spain
Find out more: https://www.thesecretspain.com
Day 87 Fake Spanish Waiters uncorrected transcript
Wednesday and the Spanish Parliament has approved the Royal Decree for “new normality”. It starts in a very good place with central control being released and the regional Governments can...
Today a story of a TV set and an inconvenient death, and speaking of inconvenience, how dare you ask to transfer money at a Spanish bank without an appointment.
find out more at https://www.thesecretspain.com
Day 86 Inconvenient Death uncorrected transcript
Tuesday and the wind has dropped for the moment so we spent a jolly hour or so cleaning up the mess. We have learned to take a completely different approach to cleaning here.
...Monday and we are off to buy our new car in the Covid19 world of car showrooms, no coffee, no handshake, just masks and security tape. Has the glamour of car buying come to an end?
find out more https://www.thesecretspain.com
Day 85 Testing Times uncorrected transcript
Monday morning, normally I do the hateful administration work but this morning we are off to the car showroom to collect our new car. Yesterday we did a test ru...
It is Sunday and I have been driving our existing car for the first time, we are buying a new one tomorrow, as in Phase 3 we can go to a car showroom. Can I say that the gear box stick is in quite the wrong place and while we are at it, so is the steering wheel.
Find out more: https://www.thesecretspain.com
Day 84 Car Share
Sunday the start of a new week, Monday brings us phase 3, we have jumped a week, the Alarma itself finishe...
Bad news is good news for us find out why in this episode, also a reflection on the last few months as Andalusia moves into phase three of the Alarma.
Find out more: https://www.thesecretspain.com
Day 83 Hey Ya! (uncorrected transcript)
Saturday, your Sunday and I thought I would take a few moments to reflect, the new normal is becoming normal and throughout the world the death toll from this virus continues to rise, but we are all...
Today a story from the past about two crazy American guys called Ben and Jerry and their weird ice cream, a trip to Leroy Merlin a French owned Spanish run DIY chain.
find out more here: https://www.thesecretspain.com
Uncorrected transcript here:
Day 82 Dough Boys
Friday and another week ahead in phase 2, but no, suddenly we are moving to phase three, some changes, restaurants can fill to 50 per cent capacity, shops too, but more...
Thursday and the bloomin wind is driving us potty, along with administration, WhatsApp spats about a community pool and we have a guide to consumer law here in Spain.
Find out more: https://www.thesecretspain.com
Day 81
Thursday and a bit of a low day, hard to put your finger on it, but the weather is not helping, once again the wind is blowing, the high pressure that makes summer calm and hot has gone north and giving the UK a r...
Day 80, a day of confusion when we were told our house didn't exist, also we talk a little bit about Spanish Income Tax, and explore some caves in Nerja.
Find out more: https://www.thesecretspain.com
Day 80 Caves and Confusion
Wednesday and the day begins in Spanish confusion as the man that is coming to service Petra and Justin’s pool and will first collect the key from our house has rung to say our house number does not exist.
I ...
Day 79 and slowly things are returning, restaurants are opening and the Government is giving away free money and claiming nobody died of Covid19.. although the regional Governments dispute this.
Find out more: https://www.thesecretspain.com
Day 79 Free Money
Tuesday, and yesterday no deaths were reported due to the virus, but the regional Governments have disputed this. Our local hospital has only had a couple of cases last week an...
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