War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7)

What do you do when your latest pointless and misguided war is not going well? 

It's going so poorly in fact that the enemy has gone past the gates, and now they're sitting in your kitchen eating your sweet, delicious roots and drinking your hot, hot beef tea. 

What you need is a hero, one man who can turn the tide against all the odds. A huge man, a powerful man, a man with an incredible hat. 

Today we meet that man.

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The enemy is at the gates, the drums are beating, the cannons are primed. 

The choices you make on this day could change the trajectory of your entire life, of all of Russia. 

Stick or twist, stay or go, fight or flight. What do you choose? 

What if I told you there's only one War Balloon? 

This is War and Peace and war is coming (even more war), and this time is personal.

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We're going full blown horse this week, with horse after glorious horse being named quicker than you can say "My Name Is Horse". 

We've got fast ones, slow ones, strong ones and even some invisible ones.

It's a veritable horstravaganza and humans are not invited. 

Well, ok a couple of humans can come, but only if they're with their legally appointed horses and they're willing to let their horses shine...

Indentured peasants, motivated by nothing more than a love of the land and a cripilingly inescapable system of debt and ownership. 

Poor? Definitely.

Stupid? Perhaps.

Violent? Only when drunk or angry.

But forget what you might have heard about them down at your local gentlemans club, because this week we're joining the unwashed masses to discover first hand what they really think, believe and feel. 

Who leads them? What do th...

All good things must come to an end - like the weekend,  sleeping or a bowl of nice chips. 

Even bad things must come to an end, like the hokey cokey, January, or a bee attack. 

This week in War and Peace some things are coming to an end. But are these things good things, or bad things? 

Or to put it another way,  are they a bowl of chips, or an attack by bees, or something in between?<...

Circles, glorious circles, no beginning and no end, round as the day is long, perfect as a polished samovar at dawn.

But what happens if you take the humble circle and then slightly overlap it with another circle? 

What then? What might happen? What could you call it? What would it do?

Join us this week as we vennture into not one, but two War and Peace circles that risk overlapping at any moment.

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The dust. It's surrounds you. In your eyes, your boots, your soul - everything is dust. 

Through the dust you see a vision, a vision of your home also covered in dust - the lime trees? Dusty. Your ornamental English garden? Dusty. Your family, friends and beloved colleagues? Very dusty indeed. 

What does it all mean? Why is this dust here? Join us this week as we breathe the dust down deep to try and find ou...

Letters, they simply must be delivered. Whatever is going on in the world the sweet, sweet postal imust flow. 

Join Glorious Post Person No.13 and his 3 canine steeds as we brave the best (beautiful oats) and the worst (horrible exploding bombs) that rural Russia has to offer, in order to deliver paper based information that could literally save lives.

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Support the show, say Hello, and find t...

It’s a question as old as time: do nasty old men (who sleep in bread bins) dream of electric sheep?!

Not following? 

Best to probably just listen then…

Onwards!

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Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:
patreon.com/wapin7

Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's Hall of Fame, and special episodes.

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patreon.com/wapin7wap...

It's time for Book 10 and we're all going to the WAPIN7 school of Extremely-Serious-Military-History! 

Join us as we try our best to unpick the gigantic brain of Tolstoy and discuss all things bias. 

Oh, and did someone say "DRAMATIC READING?!" 

Onwards!

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Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:
patreon.com/wapin7

Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's...

Get your official WAP quiz quill and parchment out of their locked golden chests and cast your mind back over this longest, and cursiest of seasons. 

There are litterally thousandths of points up for grabs in the Season 9 Quiz Special!

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Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:
patreon.com/wapin7

Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's Hall of Fame, and special ...

It's time to take a short break from the world of War and Peace and dive even further back in time...

What happens when a local family run establishment refuses to engage with repeated noise complaints from a blood thirsty daemon? 

You very much *will* believe the answer. 

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Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:
patreon.com/wapin7

Including... (Free!) bonus con...

Take that, Curse! We did it!!

Book 9 of War and Peace is officially finished!

It's time to open your favourite box of biscuits, pour yourself a delicious cup of beef tea and sit back and enjoy the mayhem. 

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Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:
patreon.com/wapin7

Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's Hall of Fame, and special episodes.

〰...

Pierre's giant red hands quivered as he held aloft the parchment. He read the words again and again and even double checked his addition.

There was no mistake.

A bead of sweat fell from his forehead and splashed onto his baseball-glove sized hand.

He leant back in his chair and began to rock back and forth repeating the same phrase over and over again, "The Prophecy of Eggbag".

When SUDDENLY...

Bready or not, it's Peter's week!

It's time to pop on your favourite Peter jumper, roll out of bread, and head on downstairs to see what baked treats St Peter has bestowed upon you.

So raise a loaf and toast with us, "Merry Crustmas one and all!"

It'll all make sense in the end - it always does...

Dough-ho-ho!

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Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diploma...

Pour yourself a final cup of mud and saddle up your favourite pig, cow or even perhaps horse, because it's time to continue forwards, onwards, in the direction of travel! That way! Go!

It's a good day to die (finally!) - the sun is shining, the orders are ready, and the enemy is present. We've got everything we need for a traumatic, poorly executed battle.

Charge!

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Support the show, sa...

It's raining; it's pouring.
The old, potentially dead man, is snoring.
Nick went to war and found a pub,
When exactly will we be warring?!

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Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:
patreon.com/wapin7

Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's Hall of Fame, and special episodes.

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Bags. We thought we knew everything there was to know about them. We thought we'd been inside them all. But what if I told you there was one more bag, one special bag no one had ever seen before - let alone opened.

What if this bag held the power to change everything? Designed by Russia's only human pea this bag could change the war, Andy Pandy, maybe even Napolean himself.

Would you dare to open it? Would you dare to...

Ok, so there's one giant bag and inside that bag there are 9 sub-bags. Each of these 9 sub-bags, apart from bag 9, has other smaller bags inside them - think of them as sub-sub-bags.

Oh, and these bags are filled with people and each bag, including sub-bags and maybe sub-sub-bags, are in competition with each other.

What are the bags and their many many sub-bags fighting for?

Have a listen and find out.
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