Pessimistic at Best
Welcome to Pessimistic at Best, a podcast for those with a penchant for frequent frustrations, personal gripes, unpopular opinions, honest observations, and the like. Hosted by Sam, your resident Pessimistic Patty, this weekly show operates on the belief that no complaint is too small. Each week, Sam sits down with a guest to explore the good, the bad, and the ugly. A surprisingly good country album by your favorite pop artist, a bad bang trim you gave yourself during a manic episode, a military homecoming video on the internet that made you ugly cry. The list is endless, and therein lies the beauty. Come on in, we saved you a seat!
Episodes
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
When it comes to sweets, what's your preferred flavor profile? There is a right and wrong answer, btw! If you gravitate toward fruity desserts, you're officially in the doghouse. I don't make the rules! If, like me, you yearn for rich, chocolatey confections, congratulations, you've been marked safe! James and I take to the podcast to dissect his disturbing take ...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
Who needs fictionalized drama when you have the service industry? There's no group more ripe with scandal than the front-of-house staff at your favorite local haunt. Sophia and I take to the podcast to celebrate reality TV's greatest hits, including the likes of Vanderpump Rules and Southern Hospitality.
Then it's time for The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: stealing fr...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
College was a fever dream, a bunch of kids living in a pretend world, cosplaying as adults with meal plans, and it was awesome!!! Mickey and I jump on the podcast to chat about our freshman year floor (s/o Sellery 7A), navigating co-ed living and communal bathrooms, and the best places to cry on campus.
Then it’s time for The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: getting your alderman invol...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
Are you ready to level up your dating game? Looking to impress some lucky lady? The Rizzler says the key to winning her heart is actually quite simple, head to your local mall and buy her a pink Lamborghini, duh!!!
Conor and I take to the podcast to celebrate his 30th with a little help from the Rizzler himself, file a formal complaint about the Mariano's on Chicago Avenue for i...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
What constitutes stuff vs. things? Easy, boys like stuff, girls like things, and a dream is a wish the heart makes, next question!
Meghan and I take to the podcast to settle the stuff vs. things debate, defend the typo, survive a smelly Uber, and drag the completely vibeless CVS on Chicago Ave. Join in, you know you wanna!
Get silly with us on social:
FOLLOW THE PO...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
Your favorite celebrity is planning their next thinkpiece on Substack, whether you like it or not! Superstars, they're just like us.
James and I jump on the podcast to praise the tactile joy of writing with pen and paper, mock the tired cliché of movies that begin at the sound of an alarm clock, and dive into James' deep hatred for pranks.
Get silly with us on social:
<...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
Where do I begin? It’s been exactly eight months since I’ve blasted your eardrums with my microphone, and so many things have changed in such a short period of time. Some good, and some catastrophically bad, but of course, I don’t need to tell you that, just look outside!!!
On the personal front: I quit my job, canceled my Hulu subscription, transferred my Spotify music library over ...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
Picture this: the year is 2006, and Disney's three-episode crossover series 'That's So Suite Life of Hannah Montana' is releasing its first episode at 8/7 central, and you're SAT, ready to witness a piece of history.
James and I take to the podcast to nerd out over iconic crossover episodes, spiral over the sensation of an itch, and pick apart some truly curs...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
We're all secretly afraid that our kids will be losers, and listen, I'm here to tell you that if that happened to me? I wouldn't talk to him either!
James and I jump on the podcast to toast to bar games (think pool, darts, shuffleboard, yktv!!!), lament the fact that our thousand-dollar pocket computers require protective gear just to survive, and side-eye parents who ...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
Why did breakfast box itself into such narrow thinking? The day's most important meal could be so much more than eggs, if only we let it become fully realized!!!
Sadie and I jump on the podcast to chat about nicknames we love, bike lanes we loathe, and our deep dissatisfaction with the oppressive egg agenda.
Get silly with us on social:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST
Instagram: ...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
If there's a viral snack collab unfolding, Lilly is on the scene! Mountain Dew x Flamin’ Hot Cheetos? Sign her up. Swedish Fish Oreos? She's buying 'em, and nobody can stop her, damn it!
Lilly and I take to the podcast to indulge in absurd snack innovations, spiral about accumulating too much “stuff,” and express our utter disgust at some of the world’s most nauseating...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
Who eats sardines straight from the tin, carries a wad of rubberband-bound singles, and is in “talks” with the Italian government? Depends on who's asking.
Adam and I take to the podcast to toast to tinned fish, raise a stink about early morning construction, and pour one out for the many folks who were recently denied Italian citizenship thanks to the consulate's ever-cha...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
It’s important to remember that the SUR experience has little to do with the food. Its true specialties lie in campy ambiance, overpriced cocktails, and the chance to share a room with some of reality TV’s messiest players—pure bliss!
Matt and I jump on the podcast to honor our favorite divorce albums, condemn car culture’s grip on society, and reflect on the tragedy of the...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
Picture this: You're freshly thirteen, you've got your brand new Ocean Pacific swimsuit on, and you're patiently making your way up the wooden staircase with your tube in hand. What's waiting for you at the top, you ask? None other than the Wilderness' most infamous waterslide, the Hurricane. Talk about full-body chills!
Colton and I jump on the pod...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
Name something more c*nty than a giant chiseled man with a spray tan and platinum blonde blowout strutting to the ring in a bedazzled outfit to the tune of "Real American"—you can't!
Rohan and I take to the podcast to celebrate grown men finding an outlet for self-expression, reject the creation of breast milk-flavored ice cream, and criticize the wealthy elite hoardin...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
If I have to use my own cellphone to pull up the menu at the restaurant, I'm clocking in because I work here now. I said what I said!
James and I return to the podcast to celebrate Flow's Academy Award for Best Animated Feature (s/o to Latvia, a real place that exists!), dismantle the Digital Menu Industrial Complex™️, and point fingers at people who don't ma...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
I recently found myself feeling insecure about my Hydro during a Zoom call full of Stanleys and decided enough is enough! Screw your trendy water bottle! Unless you're still chewing on your Camelbak straw, like seriously, it's time to move on.
James and I hit the podcast to celebrate mixing metals, call out water bottle fads, and critique public feuds. Join in, you know you...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
Picture this: The year is 2025 and you're making the active choice to jump back on the reading train after it dawns on you that you've forgotten how to do anything besides watch TV. Sound familiar? If so, you're safe here!
Grace and I take to the podcast to celebrate Chelsea Handler's new book, I'll Have What She's Having, recoil at the thought of receiv...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
Have you ever been out to eat when your waiter suddenly goes missing, only to reappear on stage, mic in hand, bringing down the house? It's like, sure you wanted another martini, but ultimately you're happy they're having their moment!
Owen and I take to the podcast to celebrate servers with secret talents, protest loud speakers in public places, and cringe a...
Send us a love letter (or hate mail, your choice!)
Were you normal, or were you spending your iTunes gift cards on Glee covers? Don't worry, you're amongst friends!
Donnie and I take to the podcast to celebrate authenticity, stress over our favorite strategy-based reality TV game shows, and complain about men, naturally! Btw, did we ever figure out if Lea Michelle could read? Lmk, seriously.
Get silly with us on ...
Popular Podcasts
How do the smartest marketers and business entrepreneurs cut through the noise? And how do they manage to do it again and again? It's a combination of math—the strategy and analytics—and magic, the creative spark. Join iHeartMedia Chairman and CEO Bob Pittman as he analyzes the Math and Magic of marketing—sitting down with today's most gifted disruptors and compelling storytellers.
CBS Sports’ official college basketball podcast is the most entertaining and informative of its kind. Gary Parrish and Matt Norlander bring the sport into your ears at least three times per week with commentary, reporting, insider information and statistical analysis throughout college basketball all year long.
The Questlove Show builds on the award-winning Questlove Supreme podcast, bringing listeners into intimate, one-on-one conversations with peers, influences, and friends. Hosted by Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson, each episode uncovers the unexpected — from morning rituals and hidden talents to the art and experiences that shaped a guest’s journey. Sometimes playful, sometimes profound, always curious, QLS offers rare insight into leaders in music, film, television, comedy, literature, mental health, and beyond. It’s a fresh, unpredictable spin from a trusted source — a place where randomness is encouraged, tangents are welcomed, and conversations are anything but ordinary.
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Dan Bongino Show delivers no-nonsense analysis of the day’s most important political and cultural stories. Hosted by the former Deputy Director of the FBI, former Secret Service agent, NYPD officer, and bestselling author Dan Bongino, the show cuts through media spin with facts, accountability, and unapologetic conviction. Whether it’s exposing government overreach, defending constitutional freedoms, or connecting the dots the mainstream media ignores, The Dan Bongino Show provides in-depth analysis of the issues shaping America today. Each episode features sharp commentary, deep dives into breaking news, and behind-the-scenes insight you won’t hear anywhere else. Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dan-bongino-show/id965293227?mt=2 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4sftHO603JaFqpuQBEZReL?si=PBlx46DyS5KxCuCXMOrQvw Rumble: https://rumble.com/c/bongino?e9s=src_v1_sa%2Csrc_v4_sa_o