No Not the Mind Probe: A Doctor Who podcast

A Doctor Who fan and his friend rank every episode ever, from the new series and the old.

Episodes

Canned Dead Camera – "Sleep No More" & "Four to Doomsday"

November 24, 2025 • 59 mins

We open on... a spaceship. SMASH CUT TO POV of a podcaster. He watched a Doctor Who episode he's not yet seen. It's weird. He reviews it with his friend.

Mark as Played

Let Zygons Be Zygons – "The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion" & "The Android Invasion"

November 17, 2025 • 57 mins

Who's who in Who? Hard to say, as duplicates abound across these new and classic stories.

Mark as Played

In One Portal and Out the Other – "The Woman Who Lived" & "The Horns of Nimon"

November 25, 2024 • 56 mins

OK, invasion force! Everyone through the portal! No pushing! Let's be orderly while we invade. And please: get on your lion and/or bison masks! Let's look sharp coming through this portal!

Mark as Played

I'm Just a Girl in the World – "The Girl Who Died" & "Marco Polo"

November 11, 2024 • 53 mins

These Doctor Who stories are passing the Bechdel test left and right! Two tales that center around young girls with big imaginations.

Mark as Played

Water You Thinking? – "Under the Lake/Before the Flood" & "The Underwater Menace"

November 2, 2024 • 60 mins

We take the podcast down where it's hotter, under the water. Forget your troubles. Life is the bubbles. Under the sea.

Mark as Played

You Gotta Exterminate the Positive – "The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar" & "The Daleks"

September 23, 2024 • 88 mins

Davros and the Doctor: the original odd couple! Oh, when will these two crazy kids realize that they're not enemies? They're in LOVE, God damn it! Sweet, beautiful love! Also, the first ever Dalek story.

Mark as Played

The Who That Dreams are Made Of – "Last Christmas" & "Kinda"

March 11, 2024 • 71 mins

We consider whether this entire podcast is real, or just a vision in John's little snowglobe. Meanwhile, the Twelfth and Fifth Doctor do battle across the dreamscape, in a pair of the best stories we've ever watched in one episode!

Mark as Played

Just a Hopeless Ro-bo-mantic – "Dark Water/Death in Heaven" & "The Invasion"

February 26, 2024 • 68 mins

Danny Pink: we hardly knew ye. Seriously. We didn't really ever get a chance to know you. But now you're gone! And you do go out with a bang. Plus, we finally see who the hell this Missy character is. Also: a half-great story from years past with all the trappings that Porter loves.

Mark as Played

The Doctor and the Beanstalk – "In The Forest of the Night" & "The Seeds of Doom"

January 29, 2024 • 61 mins

This episode you're going to want to watch in full sunlight, and make sure to surround yourself with a health amount of peat moss. The Doctor takes on nature's greatest scourge: PLANTS. Break out your hedge clippers, people!

Mark as Played

Honey, I Shrunk the Doctor – "Flatline" & "Planet of Giants"

January 16, 2024 • 55 mins

In what is clearly an homage to the iconic Rob Schneider SNL sketch, "Tiny Elvis", we check in on two episodes where the Doctor deals with shrinkage.

Mark as Played

Just One of the Sarcophagi – "Mummy on the Orient Express" & "Pyramids of Mars"

January 1, 2024 • 64 mins

Always listen to your mummy. Unless they are intent on strangling you to death. The Twelfth and Fourth Doctor both explore Egyptology in two classic episodes.

Mark as Played

Goodnight, Moon – "Kill the Moon" & "The Moonbase"

December 18, 2023 • 60 mins

The Twelfth Doctor puts the big decision onto Clara and the human race. The Second Doctor amuses himself with a comb, and a brush, and a bowl full of mush. And some Cybermen.

Mark as Played

Artificial Who-telligence – "The Caretaker" & "The War Machines"

December 4, 2023 • 56 mins

Global thermonuclear war. It's not a game. But it sure makes for a lot of excitement! John and Porter take a look at a couple of episodes where the Doctor stops Earth from being annihilated.

Mark as Played

Honor Among Thieves – "Time Heist" & "The Ribos Operation"

November 20, 2023 • 55 mins

We're getting the whole gang back together for one last score. John and Porter take a look at a couple of episodes using heist plotlines.

Mark as Played

It's All Relative – "Listen" & "The Massacre"

November 6, 2023 • 71 mins

A unique Peter Capaldi story (where once again we see Clara is the key to all things at all times) is matched with a missing First Doctor story about French history. Oui oui!

Mark as Played

Kings and Things – "Robot of Sherwood" & "The Crusade"

October 23, 2023 • 65 mins

Ooo de lally! It's Robin of the 'hood! Clara gets to live out a childhood dream meeting Nottingham Forest's famous do-gooder. And we watch/listen to a classic story taking a look at what Kind Richard was doing during the same time.

Mark as Played

Good Things Come in Who Packages – "Into the Dalek" & "The Invisible Enemy"

October 9, 2023 • 51 mins

It's a meet-cute! The Twelfth Doctor meets a Dalek! And the Dalek is ADORABLE. A nice Dalek? Is it possible? The Doctor and Clara head inside the Dalek itself to see for sure.

Mark as Played

It's Made of People – "Deep Breath" & "The Talons of Weng-Chiang"

September 25, 2023 • 65 mins

It's a new Doctor AND John's favorite classic episode ever! Peter Capaldi shows up and... it's fine. But it's going to get way better!

Mark as Played

And So This is Christmas – "The Time of the Doctor" & "Attack of the Cybermen"

September 4, 2023 • 53 mins

It's time for us to bid adieu to the wonderful Matt Smith. And also watch a crappy Cybermen story with a whole lot o' Peri.

Mark as Played

The Gang's All Here – "The Day of the Doctor" & "The Five Doctors"

August 21, 2023 • 70 mins

It's basically a Doctor Who version of the Spider-Man meme, as we have both the 50th and the 20th anniversary specials featuring all sorts of Doctors, real and fake.

Mark as Played

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No Not the Mind Probe: A Doctor Who podcast

Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Canned Dead Camera – "Sleep No More" & "Four to Doomsday"

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Let Zygons Be Zygons – "The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion" & "The Android Invasion"

In One Portal and Out the Other – "The Woman Who Lived" & "The Horns of Nimon"

I'm Just a Girl in the World – "The Girl Who Died" & "Marco Polo"

Water You Thinking? – "Under the Lake/Before the Flood" & "The Underwater Menace"

You Gotta Exterminate the Positive – "The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar" & "The Daleks"

The Who That Dreams are Made Of – "Last Christmas" & "Kinda"

Just a Hopeless Ro-bo-mantic – "Dark Water/Death in Heaven" & "The Invasion"

The Doctor and the Beanstalk – "In The Forest of the Night" & "The Seeds of Doom"

Honey, I Shrunk the Doctor – "Flatline" & "Planet of Giants"

Just One of the Sarcophagi – "Mummy on the Orient Express" & "Pyramids of Mars"

Goodnight, Moon – "Kill the Moon" & "The Moonbase"

Artificial Who-telligence – "The Caretaker" & "The War Machines"

Honor Among Thieves – "Time Heist" & "The Ribos Operation"

It's All Relative – "Listen" & "The Massacre"

Kings and Things – "Robot of Sherwood" & "The Crusade"

Good Things Come in Who Packages – "Into the Dalek" & "The Invisible Enemy"

It's Made of People – "Deep Breath" & "The Talons of Weng-Chiang"

And So This is Christmas – "The Time of the Doctor" & "Attack of the Cybermen"

The Gang's All Here – "The Day of the Doctor" & "The Five Doctors"

Popular Podcasts

Canned Dead Camera – "Sleep No More" & "Four to Doomsday"

Let Zygons Be Zygons – "The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion" & "The Android Invasion"